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->[[AC:Down in the deepest kingdoms of the sea, where there is no light, there lives a type of creature with no brain and no eyes and no mouth. It does nothing but live and put forth petals of perfect crimson where none are there to see. It is nothing except a tiny yes in the night. And yet... and yet... it has enemies that bear on it a vicious, unbending malice, who wish not only for its tiny life to be over but also that it had never existed. Are you with me so far?]]
"Well, yes, but-"
->[[AC:Good. Now, ''imagine what they think of humanity''.]]
"Well, yes, but-"
->[[AC:Good. Now, ''imagine what they think of humanity''.]]
to:
->[[AC:Down in the deepest kingdoms of the sea, where there is no light, there lives a type of creature with no brain and no eyes and no mouth. It does nothing but live and put forth petals of perfect crimson where none are there to see. It is nothing except a tiny yes "yes" in the night. And yet... and yet... it has enemies that bear on it a vicious, unbending malice, who wish not only for its tiny life to be over but also that it had never existed. Are you with me so far?]]
far?]]\\
\\
"Well, yes,but-"
->[[AC:Good.but-"\\
\\
[[AC:Good. Now, ''imagine what they think of humanity''.]]
]]
--> Death on the Auditors
\\
"Well, yes,
->[[AC:Good.
\\
[[AC:Good. Now, ''imagine what they think of humanity''.
--> Death on the Auditors
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->She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself [[MaryPoppins dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps]] she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.
to:
->She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself [[MaryPoppins [[Film/MaryPoppins dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps]] she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.
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----
<<|QuotesWiki|>>
<<|QuotesWiki|>>
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<<|QuotesWiki|>>
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->[[AC:Down in the deepest kingdoms of the sea, where there is no light, there lives a type of creature with no brain and no eyes and no mouth. It does nothing but live and put forth petals of perfect crimson where none are there to see. It is nothing except a tiny yes in the night. And yet... and yet... it has enemies that bear on it a vicious, unbending malice, who wish not only for its tiny life to be over but also that it had never existed. Are you with me so far?]]
"Well, yes, but-"
->[[AC:Good. Now, ''imagine what they think of humanity''.]]
"Well, yes, but-"
->[[AC:Good. Now, ''imagine what they think of humanity''.]]
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[[/folder]]
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[[/folder]]
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->Who ''really'' knew what evil lurked in the heart of men?
->[[AC:[[LeaningOnTheFourthWall me]].]]
->Who knew what sane me were capable of?
->[[AC:[[SeenItAll still me, i'm afraid]].]]
->Vimes glanced at the door of the last room. No, he wasn't going in there again. No wonder it stank in there.
->[[AC:You can't here me, can you? Oh. I thought you might]], said Death, and went back to waiting.
->[[AC:[[LeaningOnTheFourthWall me]].]]
->Who knew what sane me were capable of?
->[[AC:[[SeenItAll still me, i'm afraid]].]]
->Vimes glanced at the door of the last room. No, he wasn't going in there again. No wonder it stank in there.
->[[AC:You can't here me, can you? Oh. I thought you might]], said Death, and went back to waiting.
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Changed line(s) 600,602 (click to see context) from:
->"Stercus, stercus, stercus, moriturus sum."
to:
->"Stercus, stercus, stercus, moriturus sum."
" [[hottip:Translation: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I'm gonna die.]]
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->'''Vetinari:''' "I love democracy. I could listen to it all day."
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Changed line(s) 509 (click to see context) from:
->"So why should we care what happens to monsters?"
to:
->"So why should we care [[MuggingTheMonster what happens to monsters?"monsters]]?"
Changed line(s) 511,513 (click to see context) from:
->"Depends if I knew where Granny Weatherwax was."
to:
->"Depends if I knew where [[NeverMessWithGranny Granny Weatherwax Weatherwax]] was."
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Changed line(s) 405 (click to see context) from:
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-> Oh, gods. He'd always slept in front of the door of his master. And now he was king, he slept in front of the door to his kingdom.
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Changed line(s) 283 (click to see context) from:
-> 'He created me. ''Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? ''Who watches the watchmen? Me. I watch him. Always. You will not force him to murder for you.'
to:
-> 'He created me. ''Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? ''Who ''[[WhoWatchesTheWatchmen Who watches the watchmen? watchmen]]? Me. I watch him. Always. [[BattleInTheCenterOfTheMind You will not force him to murder for you.'']]
Changed line(s) 287,289 (click to see context) from:
-> 'Indeed. But I think you misunderstand. I am not here to keep darkness out. I'm here to keep it in. Call me the Guarding Dark. Imagine how strong I must be.'
to:
-> 'Indeed. But I think you misunderstand. I am not here to keep darkness out. I'm here to keep it in. Call me the Guarding Dark. [[{{Determinator}} Imagine how strong I must be.be]].'
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-> You have the effrontery to be squeamish. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape -- we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.
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->"He remembered Didactylos saying the world was a funny place. And, he thought distantly, it really was. Here people were about to roast someone to death, but they'd left his loin-cloth on, out of respectability. You had to laugh. Otherwise you'd go mad."
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[[/folder]]
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[[folder: Discworld game]]
to:
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->'''Rincewind''' Yes i've gibbon up. no monkey, ape ... oh damn! (the librarian hits him over the head)
to:
->'''Rincewind''' Yes i've gibbon up. no monkey, ape ... oh damn! (the librarian hits him over the head) head)
-> "Ugh It's horrible... hang on it's me! rather chap ain't he?
-> "Ugh It's horrible... hang on it's me! rather chap ain't he?
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[[/folder]]
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[[folder: Discworld]]
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[[folder: Discworld]]
Discworld game]]
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->"A swamp dragon if i'm not mistaken. I though these things were filled with explosive gas (the carcass explodes) oh right!
to:
->"A swamp dragon if i'm not mistaken. I though these things were filled with explosive gas gas, (the carcass explodes) oh right!
Changed line(s) 1695,1699 (click to see context) from:
'''Librarian''' ook ook eek ook.
(both engage in a conversation of ape talk)
'''Rincewind''' Well nevermind I'll come back later.
'''Librarian''' ook eek ook?
'''Rincewind''' Yes i've gibbon up. no monkey, ape ... oh damn! (the librarian hits him over the head)
(both engage in a conversation of ape talk)
'''Rincewind''' Well nevermind I'll come back later.
'''Librarian''' ook eek ook?
'''Rincewind''' Yes i've gibbon up. no monkey, ape ... oh damn! (the librarian hits him over the head)
to:
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!Games
[[folder: Discworld]]
->"As far as leaders go, the only reason I'd follow him into battle, is out of curiosity."
->"A swamp dragon if i'm not mistaken. I though these things were filled with explosive gas (the carcass explodes) oh right!
->'''Rincewind''' Excuse me sir. Could you get me a tome called 'featherwinkle's concise compedium of dragons' lairs'?
'''Librarian''' ook ook eek ook.
(both engage in a conversation of ape talk)
'''Rincewind''' Well nevermind I'll come back later.
'''Librarian''' ook eek ook?
'''Rincewind''' Yes i've gibbon up. no monkey, ape ... oh damn! (the librarian hits him over the head)
[[folder: Discworld]]
->"As far as leaders go, the only reason I'd follow him into battle, is out of curiosity."
->"A swamp dragon if i'm not mistaken. I though these things were filled with explosive gas (the carcass explodes) oh right!
->'''Rincewind''' Excuse me sir. Could you get me a tome called 'featherwinkle's concise compedium of dragons' lairs'?
'''Librarian''' ook ook eek ook.
(both engage in a conversation of ape talk)
'''Rincewind''' Well nevermind I'll come back later.
'''Librarian''' ook eek ook?
'''Rincewind''' Yes i've gibbon up. no monkey, ape ... oh damn! (the librarian hits him over the head)
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[[folder:Wyrd Sisters]]
->As the cauldron bubbled, an eldritch voice shrieked, "When shall we three meet again?" \\
Another voice said, in far more ordinary tones, "Well, I can do next Tuesday."
-> The calender of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.
-> The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
-> "'Tis not right, a woman going into such places by herself." Granny nodded. She thoroughly approved of such sentiments so long as there was, of course, no suggestion that they applied to her.
[[/folder]]
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[[folder: Monstrous Regiment]]
-> '''Jackrum:''' "[[RunningGag Upon my oath]], I am not a violent[[hottip:****: /shouty/bluffing/gentleman/lying/disobeying orders/gossiping/swearing]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial man]]."
-> [[SweetPollyOliver Let’s see, now]] . . . arms out from the body as though holding a couple of bags of flour . . . check. Shoulders swaying as though she was elbowing her way through a crowd . . . check. Hands slightly bunched and making rhythmical circling motions as though turning two independent handles attached to the waist . . . check. Legs moving forward loosely and apelike . . . check . . .
-> It worked fine for a few yards until she got something wrong and the resultant muscular confusion somersaulted her into a holly bush.
-> The place was one of those nowhere villages that existed only in order to avoid the embarrassment of having large empty spaces on the map.
-> '''Vimes:''' "Do you think it’s possible for an entire nation to be insane? Not the people, the nation. ... Look, you know what I mean. You take a bunch of people who don’t seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem."
-> '''Vimes:''' "What’s abominable about the colour blue? It’s just a colour! The sky is blue!"
-> '''Chinny:''' "Yes, sir. Devout Nugganites try not to look at it these days."
-> '''Vimes:''' "So what we have here is a country that tries to run itself on the commandments of a god who, the people feel, may be wearing his underpants on his head. Has he Abominated underpants?"
-> '''Chinny:''' 'No, sir. But it’s probably only a matter of time."
-> "Whoms" were likely to be far more trouble than your common everyday "who".
-> '''Maladicta:''' [[BadassBoast “And one more thought for you, if you’ve got room.]] I’ve only taken a pledge not to drink human blood. [[GroinAttack It doesn’t mean I can’t kick you in the fork so hard you suddenly go deaf.”]]
-> It was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.
-> The four lesser apocalyptical horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance, and Shouting took control of the room.
-> "Look after your mates. And keep out of the way of officers, ’cos they ain’t healthy. That’s what you learn in the army. The enemy dun’t really want to fight you, ’cos the enemy is mostly blokes like you who want to go home with all their bits still on. But officers’ll get you killed.”
-> Polly had been soldiering for only a couple of days, but already an instinct had developed. In summary, it was this: lie to officers.
->'''Maladicta:''' “Please pay attention. I am a ''reformed '' vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violent, tearing carnage does not come easily to me. It’s ''not'' tearing your throats out that doesn’t come easily to me. Please don’t make it any harder.”
-> It took a special kind of man, she reflected, to cut his sword hand with his own sword.
-> If you couldn’t trust the government, who could you trust?
-> Very nearly everyone, come to think of it…
-> A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish, or the woman.
-> There was this about vampires; they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were…what was the word… ''dishabille''. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.
-> '''Blouse:''' “You can’t torture an unarmed man!”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “Well, I’m not waiting for him to arm himself, sir! "
-> It’s hard to be an ornithologist and walk through a wood when all around you the world is shouting: “Bugger off, this is my bush! Aargh, the nest thief! Have sex with me, I can make my chest big and red!”
-> “How many fingers am I holding up?”
-> “You know, that’s something an Igor should ''never'' say."
-> “Plogviehze!” It meant “The Sun Has Risen! Let’s Make War!” You needed a special kind of history to get all that in one word.
-> '''Igorina:''' “But…our countrywomen? [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous Washing clothes for the enemy?]]”
-> '''Polly:''' “If it’s that or starve, yes. I saw a woman come out carrying a basket of loaves. They say the Keep is full of granaries. Anyway, you sewed up an enemy officer, didn’t you?”
-> '''Igorina:''' “That’s different. We are duty bound to thave our fellow ma—person. Nothing has ever been said about his—their underwear.”
-> Now that she had got over the surprise, there was something ''offensive'' about this lack of reaction. It was like someone opening a door just before your battering ram hit it; suddenly you were running through the building and not certain how to stop.
-> "Wheresoever men are gathered together, [[HonestJohnsDealership someone]] will find something to [[GargleBlaster ferment in a rubber boot, distill in an old kettle, and flog to his mates.]] Made from rats, by the smell of it. Ferments well, does your average rat. Fancy a taste?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “There’s a song. '' "Twas on a Monday morning, all in the month of May—" ''
-> '''Polly:''' “Then it ''is'' about sex. It’s a folk song, it starts with "twas," it takes place in May, QED, it’s about sex. Is a milkmaid involved? I bet she is.”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “There could be.”
-> '''Polly:''' “Going for to market? For to sell her wares?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “Very likely.”
-> '''Polly:''' “O-kay. That gives us the cheese. And she meets, let’s see, a soldier, a sailor, a jolly ploughboy, or just possibly a man clothéd all in leather, I expect? No, since it’s about us, it’s a soldier, right? And since it’s one of the Ins-and-Outs…oh dear, I feel a humorous double-entendre coming on. Just one question: what item of her clothing fell down or came untied?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “Her garter. You’ve heard it before, Perks!”
-> '''Polly:''' “No, but I just ''know'' how folk songs go. We had folk singers in the lower bar for six months back hom—where I worked. In the end we had to get a man in with a ferret. But you remember stuff…oh, no…”
-> “No, he stole the cheese, didn’t he? As the poor girl was lying there, waiting for her garter to be tied, '' hem hem'', he damn well made off with her cheese, right?" "Fill yer hat with bread, fill yer boots with soup! And steal the cheese, eh, Sarge?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “That’s right. We’ve always been a very practical regiment.”
-> '''Blouse:''' “You took a terrible risk. A battlefield is no place for women.”
-> '''Polly:''' “This war isn’t staying on battlefields. At a time like this, a pair of trousers is a girl’s best friend, sir.”
-> '''Polly:''' “The last man out stuck his thumb up and winked. Did you notice him? He wasn’t even wearing an officer’s uniform.”
-> '''Blouse:''' “In Ankh-Morpork that means ‘jolly good. In Klatch, I think, it means ‘I hope your donkey explodes.’ ”
-> '''Polly:''' “Why’d he want to say jolly good to us?”
-> '''Shufti:''' [[CloudCuckoolander “Or hate our donkey so much?”]]
-> It is always upsetting to find that the enemy is as bright as you.
-> '''Jackrum:''' “How many did ''you'' spot, Mildred?”
-> '''General Froc:''' “That will be ‘General,’ Sergeant. I’m still a general, Sergeant. Or ‘sir’ will do. And your answer is: one or two. One or two.”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “And you promoted them, did you, if they was as good as men?”
-> '''Froc:''' “Indeed not, Sergeant. What do you take me for? I promoted them if they were ''better'' than men.”
-> '''Vimes:''' “Sam Vimes. Special envoy, which is kind of like an ambassador but without the little gold chocolates.”
-> '''Maladicta:''' "[[TheButcher Vimes the Butcher?]]"
-> '''Vimes:''' "Oh, yes. I’ve heard that one. Your people [[InsultBackfire haven’t really mastered]] the fine art of propaganda."
-> [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Right now, Polly could forgive Ankh-Morpork anything. Someone had found Paul a box of colored chalks.]]
-> Anyway, it was the stuff of legends, where accuracy is not required as a major ingredient.
-> '''Polly:''' “Let’s try ''again'', shall we? I said, are you trying to be smart?”
-> '''Guard:''' “No, Sergeant!”
-> '''Polly:''' " ''Why not?'' "
-> '''Guard:''' "Huh?"
-> '''Polly:''' "If you are not trying to be smart, mister, you’re happy to be stupid! And I’m up to here with stupid, understand?"
[[/folder]]
-> '''Jackrum:''' "[[RunningGag Upon my oath]], I am not a violent[[hottip:****: /shouty/bluffing/gentleman/lying/disobeying orders/gossiping/swearing]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial man]]."
-> [[SweetPollyOliver Let’s see, now]] . . . arms out from the body as though holding a couple of bags of flour . . . check. Shoulders swaying as though she was elbowing her way through a crowd . . . check. Hands slightly bunched and making rhythmical circling motions as though turning two independent handles attached to the waist . . . check. Legs moving forward loosely and apelike . . . check . . .
-> It worked fine for a few yards until she got something wrong and the resultant muscular confusion somersaulted her into a holly bush.
-> The place was one of those nowhere villages that existed only in order to avoid the embarrassment of having large empty spaces on the map.
-> '''Vimes:''' "Do you think it’s possible for an entire nation to be insane? Not the people, the nation. ... Look, you know what I mean. You take a bunch of people who don’t seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem."
-> '''Vimes:''' "What’s abominable about the colour blue? It’s just a colour! The sky is blue!"
-> '''Chinny:''' "Yes, sir. Devout Nugganites try not to look at it these days."
-> '''Vimes:''' "So what we have here is a country that tries to run itself on the commandments of a god who, the people feel, may be wearing his underpants on his head. Has he Abominated underpants?"
-> '''Chinny:''' 'No, sir. But it’s probably only a matter of time."
-> "Whoms" were likely to be far more trouble than your common everyday "who".
-> '''Maladicta:''' [[BadassBoast “And one more thought for you, if you’ve got room.]] I’ve only taken a pledge not to drink human blood. [[GroinAttack It doesn’t mean I can’t kick you in the fork so hard you suddenly go deaf.”]]
-> It was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.
-> The four lesser apocalyptical horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance, and Shouting took control of the room.
-> "Look after your mates. And keep out of the way of officers, ’cos they ain’t healthy. That’s what you learn in the army. The enemy dun’t really want to fight you, ’cos the enemy is mostly blokes like you who want to go home with all their bits still on. But officers’ll get you killed.”
-> Polly had been soldiering for only a couple of days, but already an instinct had developed. In summary, it was this: lie to officers.
->'''Maladicta:''' “Please pay attention. I am a ''reformed '' vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violent, tearing carnage does not come easily to me. It’s ''not'' tearing your throats out that doesn’t come easily to me. Please don’t make it any harder.”
-> It took a special kind of man, she reflected, to cut his sword hand with his own sword.
-> If you couldn’t trust the government, who could you trust?
-> Very nearly everyone, come to think of it…
-> A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish, or the woman.
-> There was this about vampires; they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were…what was the word… ''dishabille''. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.
-> '''Blouse:''' “You can’t torture an unarmed man!”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “Well, I’m not waiting for him to arm himself, sir! "
-> It’s hard to be an ornithologist and walk through a wood when all around you the world is shouting: “Bugger off, this is my bush! Aargh, the nest thief! Have sex with me, I can make my chest big and red!”
-> “How many fingers am I holding up?”
-> “You know, that’s something an Igor should ''never'' say."
-> “Plogviehze!” It meant “The Sun Has Risen! Let’s Make War!” You needed a special kind of history to get all that in one word.
-> '''Igorina:''' “But…our countrywomen? [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous Washing clothes for the enemy?]]”
-> '''Polly:''' “If it’s that or starve, yes. I saw a woman come out carrying a basket of loaves. They say the Keep is full of granaries. Anyway, you sewed up an enemy officer, didn’t you?”
-> '''Igorina:''' “That’s different. We are duty bound to thave our fellow ma—person. Nothing has ever been said about his—their underwear.”
-> Now that she had got over the surprise, there was something ''offensive'' about this lack of reaction. It was like someone opening a door just before your battering ram hit it; suddenly you were running through the building and not certain how to stop.
-> "Wheresoever men are gathered together, [[HonestJohnsDealership someone]] will find something to [[GargleBlaster ferment in a rubber boot, distill in an old kettle, and flog to his mates.]] Made from rats, by the smell of it. Ferments well, does your average rat. Fancy a taste?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “There’s a song. '' "Twas on a Monday morning, all in the month of May—" ''
-> '''Polly:''' “Then it ''is'' about sex. It’s a folk song, it starts with "twas," it takes place in May, QED, it’s about sex. Is a milkmaid involved? I bet she is.”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “There could be.”
-> '''Polly:''' “Going for to market? For to sell her wares?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “Very likely.”
-> '''Polly:''' “O-kay. That gives us the cheese. And she meets, let’s see, a soldier, a sailor, a jolly ploughboy, or just possibly a man clothéd all in leather, I expect? No, since it’s about us, it’s a soldier, right? And since it’s one of the Ins-and-Outs…oh dear, I feel a humorous double-entendre coming on. Just one question: what item of her clothing fell down or came untied?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “Her garter. You’ve heard it before, Perks!”
-> '''Polly:''' “No, but I just ''know'' how folk songs go. We had folk singers in the lower bar for six months back hom—where I worked. In the end we had to get a man in with a ferret. But you remember stuff…oh, no…”
-> “No, he stole the cheese, didn’t he? As the poor girl was lying there, waiting for her garter to be tied, '' hem hem'', he damn well made off with her cheese, right?" "Fill yer hat with bread, fill yer boots with soup! And steal the cheese, eh, Sarge?”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “That’s right. We’ve always been a very practical regiment.”
-> '''Blouse:''' “You took a terrible risk. A battlefield is no place for women.”
-> '''Polly:''' “This war isn’t staying on battlefields. At a time like this, a pair of trousers is a girl’s best friend, sir.”
-> '''Polly:''' “The last man out stuck his thumb up and winked. Did you notice him? He wasn’t even wearing an officer’s uniform.”
-> '''Blouse:''' “In Ankh-Morpork that means ‘jolly good. In Klatch, I think, it means ‘I hope your donkey explodes.’ ”
-> '''Polly:''' “Why’d he want to say jolly good to us?”
-> '''Shufti:''' [[CloudCuckoolander “Or hate our donkey so much?”]]
-> It is always upsetting to find that the enemy is as bright as you.
-> '''Jackrum:''' “How many did ''you'' spot, Mildred?”
-> '''General Froc:''' “That will be ‘General,’ Sergeant. I’m still a general, Sergeant. Or ‘sir’ will do. And your answer is: one or two. One or two.”
-> '''Jackrum:''' “And you promoted them, did you, if they was as good as men?”
-> '''Froc:''' “Indeed not, Sergeant. What do you take me for? I promoted them if they were ''better'' than men.”
-> '''Vimes:''' “Sam Vimes. Special envoy, which is kind of like an ambassador but without the little gold chocolates.”
-> '''Maladicta:''' "[[TheButcher Vimes the Butcher?]]"
-> '''Vimes:''' "Oh, yes. I’ve heard that one. Your people [[InsultBackfire haven’t really mastered]] the fine art of propaganda."
-> [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Right now, Polly could forgive Ankh-Morpork anything. Someone had found Paul a box of colored chalks.]]
-> Anyway, it was the stuff of legends, where accuracy is not required as a major ingredient.
-> '''Polly:''' “Let’s try ''again'', shall we? I said, are you trying to be smart?”
-> '''Guard:''' “No, Sergeant!”
-> '''Polly:''' " ''Why not?'' "
-> '''Guard:''' "Huh?"
-> '''Polly:''' "If you are not trying to be smart, mister, you’re happy to be stupid! And I’m up to here with stupid, understand?"
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 840,841 (click to see context) from:
-> It didn’t have a name. Animals don’t normally bother with them. The wizard who thought he owned him called him Quoth, but that was only because he didn’t have a sense of humor and, [[TheUnfunny like most people without a sense of humor, prided himself on the sense of humor he hadn’t, in fact, got]].
to:
-> It didn’t have a name. Animals don’t normally bother with them. The wizard who thought he owned him called him Quoth, but that was only because he didn’t have a sense of humor and, [[TheUnfunny [[TheComicallySerious like most people without a sense of humor, prided himself on the sense of humor he hadn’t, in fact, got]].
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[[folder: Soul Music]]
-> Words have always had the power to change the world.
-> [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor Be careful what you wish for]]. You never know who will be listening.
-> Or what, for that matter.
-> Miss Eulalie Butts and her colleague Miss Delcross had founded the College on the astonishing idea that, since gels had nothing much to do until someone married them, they may as well occupy themselves by learning things.
-> Susan hated Literature. She’d much prefer to read a good book.
-> Traditionally, the ways of forgetting include joining the [[LegionOfLostSouls Klatchian Foreign Legion]], drinking the waters of some magical river, no one knows where it is, and [[DrowningMySorrows imbibing vast amounts of alcohol]].
-> Glod knew a guitar when he saw one. They were supposed to be shaped like a woman, [[AnalogyBackfire but this was only the case]] if you thought a woman had no legs, a long neck, and too many ears.
-> And they were [[UselessProtagonist such sad, wet girls]]. They always let things ''happen ''to them, without making any ''effort''. They just went around saying things like “My goodness me,” when it was obvious that [[TheSmartGuy any sensible human being]] could soon get the place properly organized.
-> It didn’t have a name. Animals don’t normally bother with them. The wizard who thought he owned him called him Quoth, but that was only because he didn’t have a sense of humor and, [[TheUnfunny like most people without a sense of humor, prided himself on the sense of humor he hadn’t, in fact, got]].
-> There is [[AllGirlsLikePonies a type of girl]] who, while incapable of cleaning her bedroom even at knife point, will fight for the privilege of being allowed to spend the day shoveling manure in a stable.
-> There was a brass plate screwed on the wall beside the door. It said: “C V Cheesewaller, DM (Unseen), B. Thau, B.F.”
-> [[BaitAndSwitchComment It was the first time Susan had ever heard metal speak]].
-> '''Colon:''' “What do you mean, what’s his first name?”
-> '''Nobby:''' “What’s his first name?”
-> '''Colon:''' “He’s Death. ''Death''. That’s his whole name. I mean…what do you mean?…you mean like…''Keith'' Death?”
-> The D’regs were at war with everyone, including one another, and having considerable fun because [[BloodKnight the D’reg word for “stranger” was the same as for “target”]].
-> “He can’t stop us. [[TheBluesBrothers We’re on a mission from Glod]].”
-> They’d assumed that insulating her from the fluffy edges of the world was the safest thing to do. In the circumstances, [[YouFailLogicForever this was like not telling people about self-defense so that no one would ever attack them]].
-> The Reader had a theory that all the really good books in any building — at least, all the really funny ones — gravitate to a pile in the privy but no one ever has time to read all of them, ''or even knows how they came to be there''. His research was causing extreme constipation and a queue outside the door every morning.
-> '''Glod:'''“In my experience, what every true artist wants, really ''wants'', [[MoneyDearBoy is to be paid]].”
-> '''Buddy:''' “And famous."
-> '''Glod:''' “Famous I don’t know about. It’s hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, ‘Thanks, that was great, here is some money, same time tomorrow, okay?’”
-> Ponder looked absolutely crestfallen. There are some people born with the instinctive feeling that [[WhatAnIdiot the universe is solvable]].
-> Bee There Orr Bee A Rectangular Thyng
-> They Are Totallye Unable To Bee Seene! And A Longe Way Oute!
-> There is something very sad about an empty dressing room. It’s like a discarded pair of underpants, which it resembles in a number of respects. It’s seen a lot of activity. It may even have witnessed excitement and a whole gamut of human passions. And now there’s nothing much left but a faint smell.
-> “Well, we think it might be able to do quite complicated math. If we can get enough bugs in it.”
-> Wizards were rumored to be wise—in fact, that’s where the word came from*.
--> *From the Old ''wys-ars'', lit: one who, at bottom, is very smart.
-> Going into the Mended Drum and calling yourself [[TemptingFate Vincent the Invulnerable]] ''was'' clearly suicide by Ankh-Morpork standards.
-> “Maybe dey don’t want der hotels redecorated. I ''said'' it was a mistake, orange curtains with yellow wallpaper.”
-> He didn’t have henchmen. Most trolls weren’t clever enough to hench.
-> Proper lawn maintenance could be a real problem when things from another dimension were allowed to slither over it.
-> She had a tall bearing and a tall voice and a tall manner, and was tall in every respect except height. Amazingly, she’d apparently been able to keep this a secret from people.
[[/folder]]
-> Words have always had the power to change the world.
-> [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor Be careful what you wish for]]. You never know who will be listening.
-> Or what, for that matter.
-> Miss Eulalie Butts and her colleague Miss Delcross had founded the College on the astonishing idea that, since gels had nothing much to do until someone married them, they may as well occupy themselves by learning things.
-> Susan hated Literature. She’d much prefer to read a good book.
-> Traditionally, the ways of forgetting include joining the [[LegionOfLostSouls Klatchian Foreign Legion]], drinking the waters of some magical river, no one knows where it is, and [[DrowningMySorrows imbibing vast amounts of alcohol]].
-> Glod knew a guitar when he saw one. They were supposed to be shaped like a woman, [[AnalogyBackfire but this was only the case]] if you thought a woman had no legs, a long neck, and too many ears.
-> And they were [[UselessProtagonist such sad, wet girls]]. They always let things ''happen ''to them, without making any ''effort''. They just went around saying things like “My goodness me,” when it was obvious that [[TheSmartGuy any sensible human being]] could soon get the place properly organized.
-> It didn’t have a name. Animals don’t normally bother with them. The wizard who thought he owned him called him Quoth, but that was only because he didn’t have a sense of humor and, [[TheUnfunny like most people without a sense of humor, prided himself on the sense of humor he hadn’t, in fact, got]].
-> There is [[AllGirlsLikePonies a type of girl]] who, while incapable of cleaning her bedroom even at knife point, will fight for the privilege of being allowed to spend the day shoveling manure in a stable.
-> There was a brass plate screwed on the wall beside the door. It said: “C V Cheesewaller, DM (Unseen), B. Thau, B.F.”
-> [[BaitAndSwitchComment It was the first time Susan had ever heard metal speak]].
-> '''Colon:''' “What do you mean, what’s his first name?”
-> '''Nobby:''' “What’s his first name?”
-> '''Colon:''' “He’s Death. ''Death''. That’s his whole name. I mean…what do you mean?…you mean like…''Keith'' Death?”
-> The D’regs were at war with everyone, including one another, and having considerable fun because [[BloodKnight the D’reg word for “stranger” was the same as for “target”]].
-> “He can’t stop us. [[TheBluesBrothers We’re on a mission from Glod]].”
-> They’d assumed that insulating her from the fluffy edges of the world was the safest thing to do. In the circumstances, [[YouFailLogicForever this was like not telling people about self-defense so that no one would ever attack them]].
-> The Reader had a theory that all the really good books in any building — at least, all the really funny ones — gravitate to a pile in the privy but no one ever has time to read all of them, ''or even knows how they came to be there''. His research was causing extreme constipation and a queue outside the door every morning.
-> '''Glod:'''“In my experience, what every true artist wants, really ''wants'', [[MoneyDearBoy is to be paid]].”
-> '''Buddy:''' “And famous."
-> '''Glod:''' “Famous I don’t know about. It’s hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, ‘Thanks, that was great, here is some money, same time tomorrow, okay?’”
-> Ponder looked absolutely crestfallen. There are some people born with the instinctive feeling that [[WhatAnIdiot the universe is solvable]].
-> Bee There Orr Bee A Rectangular Thyng
-> They Are Totallye Unable To Bee Seene! And A Longe Way Oute!
-> There is something very sad about an empty dressing room. It’s like a discarded pair of underpants, which it resembles in a number of respects. It’s seen a lot of activity. It may even have witnessed excitement and a whole gamut of human passions. And now there’s nothing much left but a faint smell.
-> “Well, we think it might be able to do quite complicated math. If we can get enough bugs in it.”
-> Wizards were rumored to be wise—in fact, that’s where the word came from*.
--> *From the Old ''wys-ars'', lit: one who, at bottom, is very smart.
-> Going into the Mended Drum and calling yourself [[TemptingFate Vincent the Invulnerable]] ''was'' clearly suicide by Ankh-Morpork standards.
-> “Maybe dey don’t want der hotels redecorated. I ''said'' it was a mistake, orange curtains with yellow wallpaper.”
-> He didn’t have henchmen. Most trolls weren’t clever enough to hench.
-> Proper lawn maintenance could be a real problem when things from another dimension were allowed to slither over it.
-> She had a tall bearing and a tall voice and a tall manner, and was tall in every respect except height. Amazingly, she’d apparently been able to keep this a secret from people.
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 611,613 (click to see context) from:
-> 'He called me in and asked me what I did, exactly. Have you ever heard of such a thing? [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous What sort of question is that? This is a ''university'']]!'
to:
-> 'He called me in and asked me what I did, exactly. Have you ever heard of such a thing? [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous What sort of question is that? This is a ''university'']]!'
]]''[[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous university]]''!'
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Changed line(s) 611,613 (click to see context) from:
-> 'He called me in and asked me what I did, exactly. Have you ever heard of such a thing? What sort of question is that? This is a ''university''!'
to:
-> 'He called me in and asked me what I did, exactly. Have you ever heard of such a thing? [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous What sort of question is that? This is a ''university''!'
''university'']]!'
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[[folder:Wintersmith]]
-> “This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.”
-> They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?
-> They carried sticks and wore white clothes with bells on them, to stop them from creeping up on people. No one likes an unexpected Morris dancer.
-> It was in fact Miss Tick who had written ''Witch Hunting for Dumb People'', and she made sure that copies of it found their way into those areas where people still believed that witches should be burned or drowned. Since the only witch ever likely to pass through these days was Miss Tick herself, it meant that if things did go wrong, she’d get a good night’s sleep and a decent meal before being thrown into the water.
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “This seems an honorable enterprise. Why start by lying?”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Oh, the lie wuz goin’ tae be a lot more interestin’.”
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “The truth of the matter seems quite interesting to me.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Mebbe, but I wuz plannin’ on puttin’ in giants an’ pirates an’ magic weasels. Real value for the money!”
-> You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap. But you didn’t because, as Miss Tick had once explained: a) it would make the world a better place for only a very short time; b) it would then make the world a slightly worse place; and c) you’re not supposed to be as stupid as they are.
-> That’s Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they’re the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone?
-> '''Miss Treason:''' "Oh, I know all about those stories. I made up most of them!”
-> '''Tiffany: ''' “You made up stories about ''yourself''?”
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “Oh, yes. Of course. Why not? I couldn’t leave something as important as that to ''amateurs''.”
-> Rob turned the rustling pages and grinned. “Ach, she’s writ here: ''Oh, the dear Feegles ha’ turned up again'',” he said.
-> This met with general applause.
-> “Ach, what a kind girl she is tae write that,” said Billy Bigchin. “Can I see?” He read: ''Oh dear, the Feegles have turned up again''.
-> It was called You, as in “You! Stop that!” and “You! Get off there!” When it came to names, Granny Weatherwax didn’t do fancy.
--> - On naming her kitten, You
-> It was as if the idea of there being no Miss Treason was the wrong shape to put in anyone’s head. She was 113 years old, and they argued that [[MathematiciansAnswer it was practically unheard of for anyone to die aged 113]].
-> Some people think that “coven” is a word for a group of witches, and it’s true that’s what the dictionary says. But the real word for a group of witches is an “argument.”
-> It was wizard magic, showy and dangerous. Witches preferred to cut enemies dead with a look. There was no sense in killing your enemy. How would she know you’d won?
-> '''Petulia:''' “Then it’s all obvious. He’s a boy.”
-> '''Tiffany:''' “What?”
-> '''Petulia:''' “A boy. You know what they are? Blush, grunt, mumble, wibble? They’re pretty much all the same.”
-> She’d always been so nervous about getting them wrong that the first time she’d had to go out to deal with someone who looked dead—a young man who’d been in a horrible sawmill accident—she’d done every single test [[hottip:*: speak to them, raise an arm, check the pulses including the one behind the ear, check for breath with a mirror]] , even though she’d had to go and find his head.
-> [[AC:'''death:''' mustard is always tricky]]
-> '''Miss Treason:'''“No mustard? What about pickled onions?”
-> [[AC: '''death:''' pickles of all sorts don't seen to make it. i'm sorry.]]
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “No relishes in the next world? That’s dreadful! What about chutneys?”
-> The Feegles didn’t know the meaning of the word “fear.” Sometimes Tiffany wished they’d read a dictionary.
-> Tiffany had looked up “strumpet” in the Unexpurgated Dictionary, and found it meant “a woman who is no better than she should be” and “a lady of easy virtue.” This, she decided after some working out, meant that [[DirtyOldWoman Mrs. Gytha Ogg]], known as Nanny, was a very respectable person. [[LiteralMinded She found virtue easy]], for one thing. And if she was no better than she should be, then she was just as good as she ought to be.
-> She had a feeling that Miss Treason hadn’t meant this, but you couldn’t argue with logic.
-> “When a bull coo meets a lady coo, he disna have tae say, ‘My heart goes bang-bang-bang when I see your wee face,’ ’cuz it’s kinda built intae their heads. People have it more difficult. Romancin’ is verra important, ye ken. Basically it’s a way the boy can get close to the girl wi’oot her attackin’ him and scratchin’ his eyes oot.”
-> '''Tiffany:''' "What else can I expect apart from…well, the feet?”
-> '''Miss Tick:''' “I’m, er, checking. Ah…it says here that she was, I mean is, fairer than all the stars in heaven….”
--> [[{{Beat}} They all looked at Tiffany]].
-> '''Nanny Ogg:''' “[[HollywoodHomely You could try doing something with your hair]]."
-> [[ShroudedInMyth The librarians were mysterious]]. It was said they could tell what book you needed just by looking at you, and they could take your voice away with a word.
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' Er…I dinna wanta be a knee aboot this, but why is ye all here freezin’ tae death?”
-> '''Head Librarian:''' “Our oxen wandered off, and alas, the snow’s too deep to walk through.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Aye. But youse got a stove an’ all them dry ol’ books.”
-> '''Head Librarian:''' “Yes, we know.”
-> There was the kind of wretched pause you get when two people aren’t going to understand each other’s point of view at all.
-> “They don’t think they’re poor, because everyone around here is poor! But they’re not so poor they can’t afford to do the right things! That would be poor!”
-> Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer.
-> “I warn you! I’ve got a Cornucopia and I’m not afraid to use it!”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “An’ hoo come ye ken whut name a cheese has?”
-> '''Daft Wullie:''' “He told me, Rob.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Aye? Oh, okay. I wouldna argue wi’ a cheese.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “And ye know how tae fight?”
-> '''Roland:''' “I’ve read the ''Manual of Swordsmanship ''all the way through!”
-> [[{{Beat}} *beat*]]
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Ah, I think I’ve put ma finger on a wee flaw in this plan….”
-> "There be a lot o’ men who became heroes ’cuz they wuz too scared tae run!"
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “An’ this one is a lot harder than Abker, right? That one was easy! An’ a very predictable plot. Whoever writted that book didna stretch himself, in ma opinion.”
-> '''Billy Bigchin:''' “You mean ''The ABC''?”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Aye.”
-> These Are the Things That Make a Man
-> Iron enough to make a nail,
-> Lime enough to paint a wall,
-> Water enough to drown a dog,
-> Sulfur enough to stop the fleas,
-> Poison enough to kill a cow,
-> Potash enough to wash a shirt,
-> Gold enough to buy a bean,
-> Silver enough to coat a pin,
-> Lead enough to ballast a bird,
-> Phosphor enough to light the town,
-> Strength enough to build a home,
-> Time enough to hold a child,
-> Love enough to break a heart.
[[/folder]]
-> “This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.”
-> They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?
-> They carried sticks and wore white clothes with bells on them, to stop them from creeping up on people. No one likes an unexpected Morris dancer.
-> It was in fact Miss Tick who had written ''Witch Hunting for Dumb People'', and she made sure that copies of it found their way into those areas where people still believed that witches should be burned or drowned. Since the only witch ever likely to pass through these days was Miss Tick herself, it meant that if things did go wrong, she’d get a good night’s sleep and a decent meal before being thrown into the water.
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “This seems an honorable enterprise. Why start by lying?”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Oh, the lie wuz goin’ tae be a lot more interestin’.”
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “The truth of the matter seems quite interesting to me.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Mebbe, but I wuz plannin’ on puttin’ in giants an’ pirates an’ magic weasels. Real value for the money!”
-> You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap. But you didn’t because, as Miss Tick had once explained: a) it would make the world a better place for only a very short time; b) it would then make the world a slightly worse place; and c) you’re not supposed to be as stupid as they are.
-> That’s Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they’re the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone?
-> '''Miss Treason:''' "Oh, I know all about those stories. I made up most of them!”
-> '''Tiffany: ''' “You made up stories about ''yourself''?”
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “Oh, yes. Of course. Why not? I couldn’t leave something as important as that to ''amateurs''.”
-> Rob turned the rustling pages and grinned. “Ach, she’s writ here: ''Oh, the dear Feegles ha’ turned up again'',” he said.
-> This met with general applause.
-> “Ach, what a kind girl she is tae write that,” said Billy Bigchin. “Can I see?” He read: ''Oh dear, the Feegles have turned up again''.
-> It was called You, as in “You! Stop that!” and “You! Get off there!” When it came to names, Granny Weatherwax didn’t do fancy.
--> - On naming her kitten, You
-> It was as if the idea of there being no Miss Treason was the wrong shape to put in anyone’s head. She was 113 years old, and they argued that [[MathematiciansAnswer it was practically unheard of for anyone to die aged 113]].
-> Some people think that “coven” is a word for a group of witches, and it’s true that’s what the dictionary says. But the real word for a group of witches is an “argument.”
-> It was wizard magic, showy and dangerous. Witches preferred to cut enemies dead with a look. There was no sense in killing your enemy. How would she know you’d won?
-> '''Petulia:''' “Then it’s all obvious. He’s a boy.”
-> '''Tiffany:''' “What?”
-> '''Petulia:''' “A boy. You know what they are? Blush, grunt, mumble, wibble? They’re pretty much all the same.”
-> She’d always been so nervous about getting them wrong that the first time she’d had to go out to deal with someone who looked dead—a young man who’d been in a horrible sawmill accident—she’d done every single test [[hottip:*: speak to them, raise an arm, check the pulses including the one behind the ear, check for breath with a mirror]] , even though she’d had to go and find his head.
-> [[AC:'''death:''' mustard is always tricky]]
-> '''Miss Treason:'''“No mustard? What about pickled onions?”
-> [[AC: '''death:''' pickles of all sorts don't seen to make it. i'm sorry.]]
-> '''Miss Treason:''' “No relishes in the next world? That’s dreadful! What about chutneys?”
-> The Feegles didn’t know the meaning of the word “fear.” Sometimes Tiffany wished they’d read a dictionary.
-> Tiffany had looked up “strumpet” in the Unexpurgated Dictionary, and found it meant “a woman who is no better than she should be” and “a lady of easy virtue.” This, she decided after some working out, meant that [[DirtyOldWoman Mrs. Gytha Ogg]], known as Nanny, was a very respectable person. [[LiteralMinded She found virtue easy]], for one thing. And if she was no better than she should be, then she was just as good as she ought to be.
-> She had a feeling that Miss Treason hadn’t meant this, but you couldn’t argue with logic.
-> “When a bull coo meets a lady coo, he disna have tae say, ‘My heart goes bang-bang-bang when I see your wee face,’ ’cuz it’s kinda built intae their heads. People have it more difficult. Romancin’ is verra important, ye ken. Basically it’s a way the boy can get close to the girl wi’oot her attackin’ him and scratchin’ his eyes oot.”
-> '''Tiffany:''' "What else can I expect apart from…well, the feet?”
-> '''Miss Tick:''' “I’m, er, checking. Ah…it says here that she was, I mean is, fairer than all the stars in heaven….”
--> [[{{Beat}} They all looked at Tiffany]].
-> '''Nanny Ogg:''' “[[HollywoodHomely You could try doing something with your hair]]."
-> [[ShroudedInMyth The librarians were mysterious]]. It was said they could tell what book you needed just by looking at you, and they could take your voice away with a word.
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' Er…I dinna wanta be a knee aboot this, but why is ye all here freezin’ tae death?”
-> '''Head Librarian:''' “Our oxen wandered off, and alas, the snow’s too deep to walk through.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Aye. But youse got a stove an’ all them dry ol’ books.”
-> '''Head Librarian:''' “Yes, we know.”
-> There was the kind of wretched pause you get when two people aren’t going to understand each other’s point of view at all.
-> “They don’t think they’re poor, because everyone around here is poor! But they’re not so poor they can’t afford to do the right things! That would be poor!”
-> Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer.
-> “I warn you! I’ve got a Cornucopia and I’m not afraid to use it!”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “An’ hoo come ye ken whut name a cheese has?”
-> '''Daft Wullie:''' “He told me, Rob.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Aye? Oh, okay. I wouldna argue wi’ a cheese.”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “And ye know how tae fight?”
-> '''Roland:''' “I’ve read the ''Manual of Swordsmanship ''all the way through!”
-> [[{{Beat}} *beat*]]
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Ah, I think I’ve put ma finger on a wee flaw in this plan….”
-> "There be a lot o’ men who became heroes ’cuz they wuz too scared tae run!"
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “An’ this one is a lot harder than Abker, right? That one was easy! An’ a very predictable plot. Whoever writted that book didna stretch himself, in ma opinion.”
-> '''Billy Bigchin:''' “You mean ''The ABC''?”
-> '''Rob Anybody:''' “Aye.”
-> These Are the Things That Make a Man
-> Iron enough to make a nail,
-> Lime enough to paint a wall,
-> Water enough to drown a dog,
-> Sulfur enough to stop the fleas,
-> Poison enough to kill a cow,
-> Potash enough to wash a shirt,
-> Gold enough to buy a bean,
-> Silver enough to coat a pin,
-> Lead enough to ballast a bird,
-> Phosphor enough to light the town,
-> Strength enough to build a home,
-> Time enough to hold a child,
-> Love enough to break a heart.
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 760 (click to see context) from:
to:
-> One said, That is the point. The word is him. Becoming a personality is inefficient. We don’t want it to spread. Supposing gravity developed a personality? Supposing it decided to like people?
-> One said, Got a crush on them, sort of thing?
-> Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there’s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fibre and, in some cases, backbone.
-> Death had tried fiery steeds and skeletal horses in the past, and found them impractical, especially the fiery ones, which tended to set light to their own bedding and stand in the middle of it looking embarrassed.
-> [[AC: it's a skeletal steed. [[AwesomeButImpractical impressive but impractical]]. i had one once but the head fell off.]]
-> "Windle!” he said. “We thought you were dead!”
-> He had to admit that it wasn’t a very good line. You didn’t put people on a slab with candles and lilies all round them because you think they’ve got a bit of a headache and want a nice lie down for half an hour.
-> It took him several minutes to understand any new idea put to him, and this is a very valuable trait in a leader, because anything anyone is still trying to explain to you after two minutes is probably important and anything they give up after a mere minute or so is almost certainly something they shouldn’t have been bothering you with in the first place.
-> '''The Chief Priest of Blind Io:''' “I haven’t felt like this since Mrs. Cake was one of my flock.”
-> '''Archchancellor Ridcully:''' “Mrs. Cake? What’s a Mrs. Cake?”
-> '''The Chief Priest of Blind Io:''' “You have . . . ghastly Things from the Dungeon Dimensions and things, yes? Terrible hazards of your ungodly profession?”
-> '''Archchancellor Ridcully:''' “Yes.”
-> '''The Chief Priest of Blind Io:''' “We have someone called Mrs. Cake.”
-> It was another day. Cyril the cockerel stirred on his perch.
-> The chalked words glowed in the half light. He concentrated.
-> He took a deep breath.
-> “Dock-a-loodle-fod!”
-> Now that the memory problem was solved, there was only the dyslexia to worry about.
-> It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.
-> Bill Door made the mistake millions of people had tried before with small children in slightly similar circumstances. He resorted to reason.
-> [[AC: i have received the badly-written note of the banshee.]]
-> No naked little men sat on the summit dispensing wisdom, because the first thing the truly-wise man works out is that sitting around on mountaintops gives you not only haemorrhoids but ''frostbitten'' haemorrhoids.
-> Traditionally, only two people ever went into the innermost sanctuary. They were the High Priest and the other priest who wasn’t High. They had been there for years, and took turns at being the high one.
-> One said, Got a crush on them, sort of thing?
-> Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there’s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fibre and, in some cases, backbone.
-> Death had tried fiery steeds and skeletal horses in the past, and found them impractical, especially the fiery ones, which tended to set light to their own bedding and stand in the middle of it looking embarrassed.
-> [[AC: it's a skeletal steed. [[AwesomeButImpractical impressive but impractical]]. i had one once but the head fell off.]]
-> "Windle!” he said. “We thought you were dead!”
-> He had to admit that it wasn’t a very good line. You didn’t put people on a slab with candles and lilies all round them because you think they’ve got a bit of a headache and want a nice lie down for half an hour.
-> It took him several minutes to understand any new idea put to him, and this is a very valuable trait in a leader, because anything anyone is still trying to explain to you after two minutes is probably important and anything they give up after a mere minute or so is almost certainly something they shouldn’t have been bothering you with in the first place.
-> '''The Chief Priest of Blind Io:''' “I haven’t felt like this since Mrs. Cake was one of my flock.”
-> '''Archchancellor Ridcully:''' “Mrs. Cake? What’s a Mrs. Cake?”
-> '''The Chief Priest of Blind Io:''' “You have . . . ghastly Things from the Dungeon Dimensions and things, yes? Terrible hazards of your ungodly profession?”
-> '''Archchancellor Ridcully:''' “Yes.”
-> '''The Chief Priest of Blind Io:''' “We have someone called Mrs. Cake.”
-> It was another day. Cyril the cockerel stirred on his perch.
-> The chalked words glowed in the half light. He concentrated.
-> He took a deep breath.
-> “Dock-a-loodle-fod!”
-> Now that the memory problem was solved, there was only the dyslexia to worry about.
-> It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.
-> Bill Door made the mistake millions of people had tried before with small children in slightly similar circumstances. He resorted to reason.
-> [[AC: i have received the badly-written note of the banshee.]]
-> No naked little men sat on the summit dispensing wisdom, because the first thing the truly-wise man works out is that sitting around on mountaintops gives you not only haemorrhoids but ''frostbitten'' haemorrhoids.
-> Traditionally, only two people ever went into the innermost sanctuary. They were the High Priest and the other priest who wasn’t High. They had been there for years, and took turns at being the high one.
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-> 'The cook has told me that you are a very religious woman, always on your knees, and that is fine by me, absolutely fine, but did it ever occur to you to take a mop and bucket down there with you?
->I think Roland was very impressed with your wonderful white coat, but I am not Miss Spruce, because you never do anything that will get it dirty.
->'I have never been so insulted before in my life'
->' Really? I'm genuinely surprised.'
->I think Roland was very impressed with your wonderful white coat, but I am not Miss Spruce, because you never do anything that will get it dirty.
->'I have never been so insulted before in my life'
->' Really? I'm genuinely surprised.'
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Changed line(s) 625 (click to see context) from:
-> [[AC:''dangerous mammals, reptiles, amphibians, birds, fish, jellyfish, insects, spiders, crustaceans, grasses trees, mosses, and lichens of [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute terror]] [[LandDownUnder incognita]]''.]]
to:
-> [[AC:''dangerous mammals, reptiles, amphibians, birds, fish, jellyfish, insects, spiders, crustaceans, grasses grasses, trees, mosses, and lichens of [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute terror]] [[LandDownUnder incognita]]''.]]
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Changed line(s) 597 (click to see context) from:
to:
[[folder: The Last Continent]]
-> All tribal myths are true, for a given value of 'true'.
-> They say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past.
-> Wasn't it a basic principle never to let your employer know what it is you actually ''do'' all day?
-> Reading the invisible writings was a delicate and meticulous job, suited to the kind of temperament that follows Grand Prix Continental Drift and keeps bonsai mountains as a hobby or even drives a Volvo.
-> 'He called me in and asked me what I did, exactly. Have you ever heard of such a thing? What sort of question is that? This is a ''university''!'
-> Don't go digging things up in case they won't let you bury them again.
-> In theory, because of the nature of L-space, absolutely everything was available to him, but that only meant that it was more or less impossible to find whatever it was you were looking for, which is the purpose of computers.
-> Any true wizard, faced with a sign like '[[ShmuckBait Do not open this door. Really. We mean it. We're not kidding. Opening this door will mean the end of the universe]],' would automatically open the door in order to see what all the fuss was about.
-> Rincewind's hourglass looked like something created by a glassblower who'd had the hiccups in a time machine. According to the amount of actual sand it contained – and Death was pretty good at making this kind of estimate – he should have died long ago.
-> [[AC:''dangerous mammals, reptiles, amphibians, birds, fish, jellyfish, insects, spiders, crustaceans, grasses trees, mosses, and lichens of [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute terror]] [[LandDownUnder incognita]]''.]]
-> [[AC:volume 29c]]
-> [[AC: [[EverythingTryingToKillYou oh. part three, i see.]]]]
-> Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.
-> This isn't magic. It is a simple universal law. People always expect to use a holiday in the sun as an opportunity to read those books [[ClassicLiterature they've always meant to read]], but an alchemical combination of sun, quartz crystals and coconut oil will [[AirportNovel somehow metamorphose any improving book into a rather thicker one with a name containing at least one Greek word or letter]] (The Gamma Imperative, The Delta Season, The Alpha Project and, in the more extreme cases,even The Mu Kau Pi Caper). [[ConspiracyLiterature Sometimes a hammer and sickle turn up on the cover]]. This is probably caused by sunspot activity, since they are invariably the wrong way round. It's just as well for [[InvoluntaryShapeshifting the Librarian]] that he sneezed when he did, or he might have ended up [[SpyLiterature a thousand pages thick and crammed with weapons specifications]].
-> 'I thought I was just naturally lucky,' said Rincewind. He [[WhatWereYouThinking thought about]] what he'd just said. '[[TheChewToy I must have been crazy]].'
-> 'All bastards are bastards, but some bastards is ''bastards''.'
-> Discworld constellations changed frequently as the world moved through the void, which meant that astrology was cutting-edge research rather than, as elsewhere, [[PhonyPsychic a clever way of avoiding a proper job]].
-> 'Haven't you noticed that by running away you end up in more trouble?'
-> 'Yes, but, you see, you can run away from ''that'', too. That's the beauty of the system. Dead is only for once, but running away is for ever.'
-> 'Ah, but it is said that a coward dies a thousand deaths, while a hero dies only one.'
-> 'Yes, but it's the ''important'' one.'
-> Ponder had been that kind of child. He still had all the pieces for every game he'd ever been given. Ponder had been the kind of boy who carefully reads the label on every Hogswatch present before opening it, and notes down in a small book, who it is from, and has all the thank-you letters written by teatime. His parents had been impressed even then, realizing that they had given birth to a child who would achieve great things or, perhaps, be hunted down by a righteous citizenry by the time he was ten.
-> Even now, if he closed his eyes, he could still see the God of Evolution beaming so happily as the cockroach stirred.
-> Was it just possible that someone had invented a regional speciality you could eat?
-> 'But my suspicions were first aroused when the Bursar developed planets.'
-> There were two of them, orbiting his head at a height of a few inches. As was so often the case with magical phenomena, they possessed virtual unreality and passed unscathed through him and one another. They were slightly transparent.
-> There are platonic burgers made of beef instead of cow lips and hooves. There are fish 'n' chips where the fish is more than just a white goo lurking at the bottom of a batter casing and you can't use the chips to shave with. There are hot dog fillings which have more in common with meat than mere pinkness, whose lucky consumers don't apply mustard ''because that would spoil the taste''. It's just that people can be trained to ''prefer ''the other sort and seek it out. It's as if Machiavelli had written a cookery book.
-> Even so, there is no excuse for putting pineapple on pizza.
-> 'Why did he have to go to prison?'
-> 'We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't you?'
-> 'Why?'
-> 'It saves time.'
-> It was obvious that some time after the brewery had been closed, but before people had got around to securely locking every entrance, the cellars had been employed by young people as such places are when you live with your parents, the house is too small, and no one has got around to inventing the motorcar.
-> They cancelled the regatta. A river full of water made a mockery of the whole idea.
[[/folder]]
-> All tribal myths are true, for a given value of 'true'.
-> They say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past.
-> Wasn't it a basic principle never to let your employer know what it is you actually ''do'' all day?
-> Reading the invisible writings was a delicate and meticulous job, suited to the kind of temperament that follows Grand Prix Continental Drift and keeps bonsai mountains as a hobby or even drives a Volvo.
-> 'He called me in and asked me what I did, exactly. Have you ever heard of such a thing? What sort of question is that? This is a ''university''!'
-> Don't go digging things up in case they won't let you bury them again.
-> In theory, because of the nature of L-space, absolutely everything was available to him, but that only meant that it was more or less impossible to find whatever it was you were looking for, which is the purpose of computers.
-> Any true wizard, faced with a sign like '[[ShmuckBait Do not open this door. Really. We mean it. We're not kidding. Opening this door will mean the end of the universe]],' would automatically open the door in order to see what all the fuss was about.
-> Rincewind's hourglass looked like something created by a glassblower who'd had the hiccups in a time machine. According to the amount of actual sand it contained – and Death was pretty good at making this kind of estimate – he should have died long ago.
-> [[AC:''dangerous mammals, reptiles, amphibians, birds, fish, jellyfish, insects, spiders, crustaceans, grasses trees, mosses, and lichens of [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute terror]] [[LandDownUnder incognita]]''.]]
-> [[AC:volume 29c]]
-> [[AC: [[EverythingTryingToKillYou oh. part three, i see.]]]]
-> Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.
-> This isn't magic. It is a simple universal law. People always expect to use a holiday in the sun as an opportunity to read those books [[ClassicLiterature they've always meant to read]], but an alchemical combination of sun, quartz crystals and coconut oil will [[AirportNovel somehow metamorphose any improving book into a rather thicker one with a name containing at least one Greek word or letter]] (The Gamma Imperative, The Delta Season, The Alpha Project and, in the more extreme cases,even The Mu Kau Pi Caper). [[ConspiracyLiterature Sometimes a hammer and sickle turn up on the cover]]. This is probably caused by sunspot activity, since they are invariably the wrong way round. It's just as well for [[InvoluntaryShapeshifting the Librarian]] that he sneezed when he did, or he might have ended up [[SpyLiterature a thousand pages thick and crammed with weapons specifications]].
-> 'I thought I was just naturally lucky,' said Rincewind. He [[WhatWereYouThinking thought about]] what he'd just said. '[[TheChewToy I must have been crazy]].'
-> 'All bastards are bastards, but some bastards is ''bastards''.'
-> Discworld constellations changed frequently as the world moved through the void, which meant that astrology was cutting-edge research rather than, as elsewhere, [[PhonyPsychic a clever way of avoiding a proper job]].
-> 'Haven't you noticed that by running away you end up in more trouble?'
-> 'Yes, but, you see, you can run away from ''that'', too. That's the beauty of the system. Dead is only for once, but running away is for ever.'
-> 'Ah, but it is said that a coward dies a thousand deaths, while a hero dies only one.'
-> 'Yes, but it's the ''important'' one.'
-> Ponder had been that kind of child. He still had all the pieces for every game he'd ever been given. Ponder had been the kind of boy who carefully reads the label on every Hogswatch present before opening it, and notes down in a small book, who it is from, and has all the thank-you letters written by teatime. His parents had been impressed even then, realizing that they had given birth to a child who would achieve great things or, perhaps, be hunted down by a righteous citizenry by the time he was ten.
-> Even now, if he closed his eyes, he could still see the God of Evolution beaming so happily as the cockroach stirred.
-> Was it just possible that someone had invented a regional speciality you could eat?
-> 'But my suspicions were first aroused when the Bursar developed planets.'
-> There were two of them, orbiting his head at a height of a few inches. As was so often the case with magical phenomena, they possessed virtual unreality and passed unscathed through him and one another. They were slightly transparent.
-> There are platonic burgers made of beef instead of cow lips and hooves. There are fish 'n' chips where the fish is more than just a white goo lurking at the bottom of a batter casing and you can't use the chips to shave with. There are hot dog fillings which have more in common with meat than mere pinkness, whose lucky consumers don't apply mustard ''because that would spoil the taste''. It's just that people can be trained to ''prefer ''the other sort and seek it out. It's as if Machiavelli had written a cookery book.
-> Even so, there is no excuse for putting pineapple on pizza.
-> 'Why did he have to go to prison?'
-> 'We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't you?'
-> 'Why?'
-> 'It saves time.'
-> It was obvious that some time after the brewery had been closed, but before people had got around to securely locking every entrance, the cellars had been employed by young people as such places are when you live with your parents, the house is too small, and no one has got around to inventing the motorcar.
-> They cancelled the regatta. A river full of water made a mockery of the whole idea.
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 899,914 (click to see context) from:
!Other
[[folder: Pyramids]]
->What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
->All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
->The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn't climb out of one.
->Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.
->There was not a lot that could be done to make [[WretchedHive Morpork]] a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.
[[folder: Pyramids]]
->What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
->All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
->The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn't climb out of one.
->Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.
->There was not a lot that could be done to make [[WretchedHive Morpork]] a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.
to:
[[folder:
->What our ancestors
-> Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief. Steal thousands of dollars and you were either a government or a hero.
->[[LastWords ‘I commend my soul to any god that can find it.’ ]]
-> There is a saying ‘You can’t fool an honest man’ which is much quoted by people who make a profitable living by fooling honest men.
-> [[AC: [[BrickJoke NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GLO M OF NI T CAN STAY THESE MES ENGERS ABO T THEIR DUTY]] ]]
-> DONT ARSK US ABOUT:
-> rocks
-> troll's with sticks
-> All sorts of dragons
-> Mrs. Cake
-> Huje green things with teeth
-> Any kinds of black dogs with orange eyebrows
-> Rains of spaniel's
-> fog
-> Mrs Cake
-> Dimwell Arrhythmic Rhyming Slang: Various rhyming slangs are known, and have given the universe such terms as ‘apples and pears’ (stairs), ‘rubbity-dub’ (pub) and ‘busy bee’ (General Theory of Relativity). The Dimwell Street rhyming slang is probably unique in that it does not, in fact, rhyme. No one knows why, but theories so far advanced are 1) that it is quite complex and in fact follows hidden rules or 2) Dimwell is well named or 3) it’s made up to annoy strangers, which is the case with most such slangs.
-> What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? [[SleazyPolitician Apart from, say, the average voter.]]
-> In the same way, the man climbing out of your window in a stripy jumper, a mask and a great hurry might merely be lost on the way to a fancy-dress party, and the man in the wig and robes at the focus of the courtroom might only be a transvestite who wandered in out of the rain. Snap judgements can be so unfair.
-> Gilt and Vetinari shared a look. It said: while I loathe you and every aspect of your personal philosophy to a depth unplumbable by any line, I’ll credit you at least with [[EvenEvilHasStandards not being Crispin Horsefry]].
-> '''Mr. Pump:''' 'I Worked It Out. You Have Killed Two Point Three Three Eight People.'
-> '''Moist von Lipwig:''' 'I have never laid a finger on anyone in my life, Mr. Pump. I may be -- all the things you know I am, but I am ''not'' a killer! I have never so much as drawn a sword!'
-> '''Mr. Pump:''' 'No, You Have Not. But You Have Stolen, Embezzled, Defrauded And Swindled Without Discrimination, Mr Lipvig. You Have Ruined Businesses And. Destroyed Jobs. When Banks Fail, It Is Seldom Bankers Who Starve. Your Actions Have Taken Money From Those Who Had Little Enough To Begin With. In A Myriad Small Ways You Have ''Hastened'' The Deaths Of Many. You Do Not Know Them. You Did Not See Them Bleed. But You Snatched Bread From Their Mouths And Tore Clothes From Their Backs. For Sport, Mr Lipvig. For Sport. For The Joy Of The Game.’
-> ‘Firstly, sir, I reasoned that if I destroyed the universe all in one go no one would know; secondly, when I walloped the thing the first time the wizards ran away, so I surmised that unless they had another universe to run to they weren’t really certain; and lastly, sir, the bloody thing was getting on my nerves.’
--> Why Chief Postal Inspector Rumbelow risked disabling the [[EldritchLocation Letter Sorting Engine]].
-> '''Anghammarad:''' 'Neither Deluge Nor Ice Storm Nor The Black Silence Of The Netherhells Shall Stay These Messengers About Their Sacred Business. Do Not Ask Us About Sabre-Tooth Tigers, Tar Pits, Big Green Things With Teeth Or The Goddess Czol.’
-> '''Tropes:''' 'You had big green things with teeth back then?’
-> '''Anghammarad:''' 'Bigger. Greener. More Teeth.’
-> '''Moist:''' 'And the goddess Czol?’
-> '''Anghammarad:''' ‘Do Not Ask.’
-> By general agreement Anghammarad was given the unique rank of Extremely Senior Postman. It seemed . . . fair.
-> People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be
->All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be
-> 'In my experience Miss Cripslock tends to write down exactly what one says. It’s a terrible
-> And he was employing an Igor, everyone knew, which of course was sensible when you
->The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in
->Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.
->There was not a lot that could be done to make [[WretchedHive Morpork]] a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite,
-> It’s a matter of style, okay? A proper brawl doesn’t just ''happen''.
-> ‘What is sticking in your foot is a Mitzy “Pretty Lucretia” four-inch heel, the most dangerous footwear in the world. Considered as pounds per square inch, it’s like being trodden on by a very pointy elephant. [[DirtyHarry Now, I know what you’re thinking]]: you’re thinking, “Could she press it all the way through to the floor?” And, you know, I’m not sure about that myself. The sole of your boot might give me a bit of trouble, but nothing else will. But that’s not the worrying part. The worrying part is that I was forced practically at knifepoint to take ballet lessons as a child, which means I can kick like a mule; you are sitting in front of me; and ''I have another shoe''.
--> Adora Belle Dearheart
-> If he’d been a hero, he would
-> Anoia, a minor goddess of Things That Stick In Drawers. [[hottip:*: Often, but not uniquely, a ladle, but sometimes a metal spatula or, rarely, a mechanical egg-whisk that nobody in the house admits to ever buying. The desperate mad rattling and cries of ‘How can it close on the damn thing but not open with it? Who bought this? Do we ever use it?’ is as
-> '''Dr. Lawn:''' Yes, his trousers were the subject of a controlled detonation after one of his socks exploded. We’re not sure why.’
-> '''Moist:''' ‘He fills them with sulphur and charcoal to keep his feet fresh, and he soaks his trousers in saltpetre to prevent Gnats.’
-> It was garbage, but it had been cooked by an expert. Oh, yes. You had to admire the way perfectly innocent words were mugged, ravished, stripped of all true meaning and decency and then sent to walk the gutter for Reacher Gilt, although ‘synergistically’ had probably been a whore from the start.
-> Always remember that the crowd which applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.
-> There was a pregnant pause. It gave birth to a lot of little pauses, each one more deeply embarrassing than its parent.
-> '''Moist:''' 'So now you’re, what was it again . . . crackers?’
-> '''Mad Al:''' 'That’s right. Because we can crack the system.'
-> '''Moist:''' 'That sounds a bit over-dramatic when you’re just doing it with lamps, doesn’t it?’
-> '''Sane Alex:''' 'Yes, but "flashers" was already taken.’
Added DiffLines:
[[folder: Making Money]]
-> All the way to Genua there were people who'd been duped, fooled, swindled and cheated by that face. The only thing he hadn't done was hornswoggle, and that was only because he hadn't found out how to.
-> [[TemptingFate What harm can it do to find out]]? It's a question that has left bruises down the centuries, even more than 'It can't hurt if I only take one' and 'It's all right if you only do it standing up'.
-> '''Moist:''' 'But I don't know anything about running a bank!'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'Good. No preconceived ideas.'
-> '''Moist:''' 'I've ''robbed'' banks!'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the ''inside''!
-> What we have here, he told himself, is a [[CoolOldLady Mk. 1 Feisty Old Lady]]: turkey neck, embarrassing sense of humour, a gleeful pleasure in mild cruelty, [[DirtyOldWoman direct way of speaking that flirts with rudeness and, more importantly, also flirts with flirting]]. Likes to think she's no 'lady'. Game for anything that doesn't carry the risk of falling over and with a look in her eye that says [[ScrewPolitenessImASenior 'I can do what I like, because I am old]]. And I have a soft spot for rascals.'
--> About Topsy Lavish
-> Whoever said you can't fool an honest man wasn't one.
-> The lady in the boardroom was certainly an attractive woman, but since she worked for the ''Times'' Moist felt unable to award her total ladylike status. Ladies didn't fiendishly quote exactly what you said but didn't exactly mean, or hit you around the ear with unexpectedly difficult questions. Well, come to think of it, they did, quite often, but ''she'' got paid for it.
-> But, he had to admit, [[IntrepidReporter Sacharissa Cripslock]] was fun.
-> Is it some kind of duplex magical power I have, he wondered, that lets [[OlderAndWiser old ladies]] see right through me but ''[[CoolOldLady like]]'' what they see?
-> It was more than likely that [[MrMuffykins Mr Fusspot had never seen a real bone before]]. He circled it carefully, waiting for it to squeak.
-> He was not naturally at ease in the presence of skulls. Humans have been genetically programmed not to be ever since monkey times, because a) [[DontAskJustRun whatever turned that skull into a skull might still be around and you should head for a tree now]], and b) skulls look like they're [[LaughingMad having a laugh at one's expense]].
-> It contained herbs and all natural ingredients. [[AllNaturalSnakeOil But belladonna was a herb, and arsenic was natural]].
-> As a member of the Ancient and Venerable Order of Greengrocers', Mr Parker was honour bound [[WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma never to put his punctuation in the right place]].
-> ''Quia Ego Sic Dico'' [[hottip:*: Because I say so]]
-> A shouted order to do something of dubious morality with an unpredictable outcome? [[TheIgor Thweet]]!
-> [[RefugeInAudacity 'You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.']]
[[/folder]]
!Other
[[folder: Pyramids]]
->What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
->All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
->The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn't climb out of one.
->Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.
->There was not a lot that could be done to make [[WretchedHive Morpork]] a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.
[[/folder]]
-> All the way to Genua there were people who'd been duped, fooled, swindled and cheated by that face. The only thing he hadn't done was hornswoggle, and that was only because he hadn't found out how to.
-> [[TemptingFate What harm can it do to find out]]? It's a question that has left bruises down the centuries, even more than 'It can't hurt if I only take one' and 'It's all right if you only do it standing up'.
-> '''Moist:''' 'But I don't know anything about running a bank!'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'Good. No preconceived ideas.'
-> '''Moist:''' 'I've ''robbed'' banks!'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the ''inside''!
-> What we have here, he told himself, is a [[CoolOldLady Mk. 1 Feisty Old Lady]]: turkey neck, embarrassing sense of humour, a gleeful pleasure in mild cruelty, [[DirtyOldWoman direct way of speaking that flirts with rudeness and, more importantly, also flirts with flirting]]. Likes to think she's no 'lady'. Game for anything that doesn't carry the risk of falling over and with a look in her eye that says [[ScrewPolitenessImASenior 'I can do what I like, because I am old]]. And I have a soft spot for rascals.'
--> About Topsy Lavish
-> Whoever said you can't fool an honest man wasn't one.
-> The lady in the boardroom was certainly an attractive woman, but since she worked for the ''Times'' Moist felt unable to award her total ladylike status. Ladies didn't fiendishly quote exactly what you said but didn't exactly mean, or hit you around the ear with unexpectedly difficult questions. Well, come to think of it, they did, quite often, but ''she'' got paid for it.
-> But, he had to admit, [[IntrepidReporter Sacharissa Cripslock]] was fun.
-> Is it some kind of duplex magical power I have, he wondered, that lets [[OlderAndWiser old ladies]] see right through me but ''[[CoolOldLady like]]'' what they see?
-> It was more than likely that [[MrMuffykins Mr Fusspot had never seen a real bone before]]. He circled it carefully, waiting for it to squeak.
-> He was not naturally at ease in the presence of skulls. Humans have been genetically programmed not to be ever since monkey times, because a) [[DontAskJustRun whatever turned that skull into a skull might still be around and you should head for a tree now]], and b) skulls look like they're [[LaughingMad having a laugh at one's expense]].
-> It contained herbs and all natural ingredients. [[AllNaturalSnakeOil But belladonna was a herb, and arsenic was natural]].
-> As a member of the Ancient and Venerable Order of Greengrocers', Mr Parker was honour bound [[WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma never to put his punctuation in the right place]].
-> ''Quia Ego Sic Dico'' [[hottip:*: Because I say so]]
-> A shouted order to do something of dubious morality with an unpredictable outcome? [[TheIgor Thweet]]!
-> [[RefugeInAudacity 'You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.']]
[[/folder]]
!Other
[[folder: Pyramids]]
->What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
->All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
->The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn't climb out of one.
->Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.
->There was not a lot that could be done to make [[WretchedHive Morpork]] a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.
[[/folder]]
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[[folder: Thud]]
-> On this day in 1802, the painter Methodia Rascal woke up in the night because the sounds of warfare were coming from a drawer in his bedside table.
-> Again.
-> 'All right. Who's going to be the first to tell me a huge whopper?'
-> You could barely understand the man, he was that posh. It was not so much speech as modulated yawning.
-> It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could've been a republic in a dozen moves.
--> Why Vimes doesn't play chess
-> Only [[BunglingInventor Bloody Stupid Johnson]] could have invented the 13-inch foot and a triangle with three right angles in it. Only Bloody Stupid Johnson could have [[AlienGeometries twisted common matter through dimensions it was not supposed to enter]]. And only Bloody Stupid Johnson could have done all this [[MiraculousMalfunction by accident]].
-> '''Sally:''' 'Hold it! There's something we'd better sort before this goes any further!'
-> '''Angua:''' 'Yeah?'
-> '''Sally:''' 'Yes. We're both wearing nothing, we're standing in what, you may have noticed, is increasingly [[MudWrestling turning into mud]], and we're squaring up to fight. Okay. But there's something missing, yes?'
-> '''Angua:''' 'And that is ?'
-> '''Sally:''' [[LampshadeHanging 'A paying audience? We could make a fortune.']]
-> '''Colon:''' 'I don't believe there's a dancer called Broccolee!'
-> '''Nobby:''' 'Well, she did use to be called Candi, sarge, but then she heard that broccoli is better for you-'
-> '''Vetinari:''' I'm sorry? [[ObstructiveBureaucrat Mr A. E. Pessimal]] attacked a troll?'
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Yessir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' [[NonActionGuy 'A. E. Pessimal?']]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'That's the man, sir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' [[MadeOfIron 'A whole troll?']]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Yessir. With his teeth, sir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' [[LoserArchetype 'Mr A. E. Pessimal? You are sure? Small man? Very clean shoes?']]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Yessir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'You wish me to believe, that Mr A. E. Pessimal single-handedly attacked a troll?'
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Both hands, sir. And feet, too. [[BewareTheQuietOnes And tried to bite it, we think.']]
-> 'Sam Vimes once arrested me for treason. And Sam Vimes once arrested a dragon. Sam Vimes stopped a war between nations by arresting two high commands. He's an arresting fellow, Sam Vimes. Sam Vimes killed a werewolf with his bare hands, and carries law with him like a lamp. Watchmen across half the continent will say that Sam Vimes is as straight as an arrow, can't be corrupted, won't be turned, never took a bribe.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'Given, then, a contest between an invisible and very powerful quasi-demonic thing of pure vengeance on the one hand, and the commander on the other, where would you wager, say... one dollar?'
-> '''Drumknott:''' 'I wouldn't, sir. That looks like one that would go to the judges.'
-> There appeared to be hundreds of them. They all seemed to have names like Bunny or Bubbles, they kept in touch meticulously, they'd all married influential or powerful men, they all hugged one another when they met and went on about the good old days in Form 3b or whatever, and if they acted together, they could probably run the world or, it occurred to Vimes, might already be doing so.
-> They were Ladies Who Organize.
--> On the alumni of the Quirm College for Young Ladies
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Is this it? This time I die?'
-> [[AC: '''death:''' could be.]]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Could be? What sort of answer is that?'
-> [[AC: '''death:''' a very accurate one. you see, you are having a near death experience, which inescapably means that i must undergo a near vimes experience. don't mind me. carry on with whatever you were doing. i have a book.]]
-> '''That! Is!! Not!!! My!!!! Cow!!!!!'''
-> 'He created me. ''Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? ''Who watches the watchmen? Me. I watch him. Always. You will not force him to murder for you.'
-> 'What kind of human creates his own policeman?'
-> 'One who fears the dark.'
-> 'And so he should.'
-> 'Indeed. But I think you misunderstand. I am not here to keep darkness out. I'm here to keep it in. Call me the Guarding Dark. Imagine how strong I must be.'
-> Nobby's face was an open book, albeit the kind that got banned in some countries.
[[/folder]]
-> On this day in 1802, the painter Methodia Rascal woke up in the night because the sounds of warfare were coming from a drawer in his bedside table.
-> Again.
-> 'All right. Who's going to be the first to tell me a huge whopper?'
-> You could barely understand the man, he was that posh. It was not so much speech as modulated yawning.
-> It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could've been a republic in a dozen moves.
--> Why Vimes doesn't play chess
-> Only [[BunglingInventor Bloody Stupid Johnson]] could have invented the 13-inch foot and a triangle with three right angles in it. Only Bloody Stupid Johnson could have [[AlienGeometries twisted common matter through dimensions it was not supposed to enter]]. And only Bloody Stupid Johnson could have done all this [[MiraculousMalfunction by accident]].
-> '''Sally:''' 'Hold it! There's something we'd better sort before this goes any further!'
-> '''Angua:''' 'Yeah?'
-> '''Sally:''' 'Yes. We're both wearing nothing, we're standing in what, you may have noticed, is increasingly [[MudWrestling turning into mud]], and we're squaring up to fight. Okay. But there's something missing, yes?'
-> '''Angua:''' 'And that is ?'
-> '''Sally:''' [[LampshadeHanging 'A paying audience? We could make a fortune.']]
-> '''Colon:''' 'I don't believe there's a dancer called Broccolee!'
-> '''Nobby:''' 'Well, she did use to be called Candi, sarge, but then she heard that broccoli is better for you-'
-> '''Vetinari:''' I'm sorry? [[ObstructiveBureaucrat Mr A. E. Pessimal]] attacked a troll?'
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Yessir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' [[NonActionGuy 'A. E. Pessimal?']]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'That's the man, sir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' [[MadeOfIron 'A whole troll?']]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Yessir. With his teeth, sir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' [[LoserArchetype 'Mr A. E. Pessimal? You are sure? Small man? Very clean shoes?']]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Yessir.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'You wish me to believe, that Mr A. E. Pessimal single-handedly attacked a troll?'
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Both hands, sir. And feet, too. [[BewareTheQuietOnes And tried to bite it, we think.']]
-> 'Sam Vimes once arrested me for treason. And Sam Vimes once arrested a dragon. Sam Vimes stopped a war between nations by arresting two high commands. He's an arresting fellow, Sam Vimes. Sam Vimes killed a werewolf with his bare hands, and carries law with him like a lamp. Watchmen across half the continent will say that Sam Vimes is as straight as an arrow, can't be corrupted, won't be turned, never took a bribe.'
-> '''Vetinari:''' 'Given, then, a contest between an invisible and very powerful quasi-demonic thing of pure vengeance on the one hand, and the commander on the other, where would you wager, say... one dollar?'
-> '''Drumknott:''' 'I wouldn't, sir. That looks like one that would go to the judges.'
-> There appeared to be hundreds of them. They all seemed to have names like Bunny or Bubbles, they kept in touch meticulously, they'd all married influential or powerful men, they all hugged one another when they met and went on about the good old days in Form 3b or whatever, and if they acted together, they could probably run the world or, it occurred to Vimes, might already be doing so.
-> They were Ladies Who Organize.
--> On the alumni of the Quirm College for Young Ladies
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Is this it? This time I die?'
-> [[AC: '''death:''' could be.]]
-> '''Vimes:''' 'Could be? What sort of answer is that?'
-> [[AC: '''death:''' a very accurate one. you see, you are having a near death experience, which inescapably means that i must undergo a near vimes experience. don't mind me. carry on with whatever you were doing. i have a book.]]
-> '''That! Is!! Not!!! My!!!! Cow!!!!!'''
-> 'He created me. ''Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? ''Who watches the watchmen? Me. I watch him. Always. You will not force him to murder for you.'
-> 'What kind of human creates his own policeman?'
-> 'One who fears the dark.'
-> 'And so he should.'
-> 'Indeed. But I think you misunderstand. I am not here to keep darkness out. I'm here to keep it in. Call me the Guarding Dark. Imagine how strong I must be.'
-> Nobby's face was an open book, albeit the kind that got banned in some countries.
[[/folder]]
