History Quotes / DastardlyWhiplash

15th Sep '17 2:03:57 AM PaulA
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->But these tender passages, sacred though their fervour, did not pass unobserved by profane eyes; for crouched in the bushes and gritting his teeth was the dastardly ’Squire Hardman! When the lovers had finally strolled away he leapt out into the lane, viciously twirling his moustache and riding-crop, and kicking an unquestionably innocent cat who was also out strolling.

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->But these tender passages, sacred though their fervour, did not pass unobserved by profane eyes; for crouched in the bushes and gritting his teeth was the dastardly ’Squire Hardman! When the lovers had finally strolled away he leapt out into the lane, viciously twirling his moustache and riding-crop, and kicking an unquestionably innocent cat who was also out strolling.\\
"Curses!" he cried -- Hardman, not the cat -- "I am foiled in my plot to get the farm and the girl!"
15th Sep '17 2:03:23 AM PaulA
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->But these tender passages, sacred though their fervour, did not pass unobserved by profane eyes; for crouched in the bushes and gritting his teeth was the dastardly ’Squire Hardman! When the lovers had finally strolled away he leapt out into the lane, viciously twirling his moustache and riding-crop, and kicking an unquestionably innocent cat who was also out strolling.
-->-- "Literature/SweetErmengarde"
31st Jan '17 7:43:16 AM ImperialMajestyXO
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->In 2002, four little girls lost both their parents in a car crash. [[AmoralAttorney Attorney]] [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast John Milton]] Merritt stepped in and did what any good public servant would do in that situation: He sued the shit out of those responsible for the tragic accident -- namely, a 'tire manufacturer' and an 'auto maker' -- secured the girls a settlement that would make CharlesDickens proud, and ... then he freaking stole it. Let's say that one more time: He stole a fortune from four little orphan girls. Then he promptly spent the blood money on his firm, presumably on avant-garde coffee mugs made out of human skulls. By 2007, two years after his first 'withdrawal,' the account was empty. Merritt, however, told the orphans and their grandmother that there was still '[[FalseReassurance several hundred thousand dollars]]' left before [[EvilLaugh laughing maniacally]] and making his merry way to his secret {{volcano lair}} for a comfortable retirement spent alternately wringing his hands and [[RightHandCat stroking an unamused lap cat.]]\\

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->In 2002, four little girls lost both their parents in a car crash. [[AmoralAttorney Attorney]] [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast John Milton]] Merritt stepped in and did what any good public servant would do in that situation: He sued the shit out of those responsible for the tragic accident -- namely, a 'tire manufacturer' and an 'auto maker' -- secured the girls a settlement that would make CharlesDickens Creator/CharlesDickens proud, and ... then he freaking stole it. Let's say that one more time: He stole a fortune from four little orphan girls. Then he promptly spent the blood money on his firm, presumably on avant-garde coffee mugs made out of human skulls. By 2007, two years after his first 'withdrawal,' the account was empty. Merritt, however, told the orphans and their grandmother that there was still '[[FalseReassurance several hundred thousand dollars]]' left before [[EvilLaugh laughing maniacally]] and making his merry way to his secret {{volcano lair}} for a comfortable retirement spent alternately wringing his hands and [[RightHandCat stroking an unamused lap cat.]]\\
24th May '16 6:19:48 AM TheOneWhoTropes
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->The standard-bearer for all worldwide sleaziness. Racist? [[RacistGrandma Yes]]. Cheap? [[AllJewsAreCheapskates Oh yes]]. Horny Neanderthal? [[DirtyOldMan Oh God, yes, yes!]] A landlord? [[CrankyLandlord Check]]—and by the way, if you don't have a check for him and you are a Latino, he will evict you three days early. He's like a {{Voltron}} of shitbags fused together. This is a man who once negotiated buying a fur coat for a mistress ''in front of the mistress's mom''. There is no introspection with Donald Sterling. There is no remorse. [[JerkWithAHeartOfJerk There is no shred of decency tucked inside of him that will engender some measure of sympathy.]] There is only this, taken from his deposition: ''"If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because [[ButForMeItWasTuesday you can't remember her name.]]"'' Pure class, kids.

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->The standard-bearer for all worldwide sleaziness. Racist? [[RacistGrandma Yes]]. Cheap? [[AllJewsAreCheapskates Oh yes]]. Horny Neanderthal? [[DirtyOldMan Oh God, yes, yes!]] A landlord? [[CrankyLandlord Check]]—and by the way, if you don't have a check for him and you are a Latino, he will evict you three days early. He's like a {{Voltron}} Anime/{{Voltron}} of shitbags fused together. This is a man who once negotiated buying a fur coat for a mistress ''in front of the mistress's mom''. There is no introspection with Donald Sterling. There is no remorse. [[JerkWithAHeartOfJerk There is no shred of decency tucked inside of him that will engender some measure of sympathy.]] There is only this, taken from his deposition: ''"If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because [[ButForMeItWasTuesday you can't remember her name.]]"'' Pure class, kids.
8th May '16 5:16:30 AM JackG
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->"Every plot twist came with the twirl of a moustache and ended in an exclamation mark."

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->"Every ->Every plot twist came with the twirl of a moustache and ended in an exclamation mark."
8th May '16 5:15:56 AM JackG
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->"Every plot twist came with the twirl of a moustache and ended in an exclamation mark."
-->-- '''SherlockHolmes''', ''Film/MrHolmes''
19th Apr '16 1:14:43 PM erforce
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->Seeing his loan going to waste, Slade starts literally ripping books apart. The story being told here is that the leather that binds the books is worth more than the books themselves. I prefer to think that Slade is a Nazi. Remember that scene in ''{{Indiana Jones}} and the Last Crusade'' where they throw books on the fire in Munich? Imagine how much better than would have been with [[WTHCastingAgency Fonzie in old man makeup.]]

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->Seeing his loan going to waste, Slade starts literally ripping books apart. The story being told here is that the leather that binds the books is worth more than the books themselves. I prefer to think that Slade is a Nazi. Remember that scene in ''{{Indiana Jones}} and the Last Crusade'' ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade'' where they throw books on the fire in Munich? Imagine how much better than would have been with [[WTHCastingAgency Fonzie in old man makeup.]]
19th Aug '15 8:39:25 AM TheMightyHeptagon
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->'''Book:''' I forgot, you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?\\
'''Simon:''' No. But I'm thinking of growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.
-->--''Series/{{Firefly}}'' ("Ariel")
5th Mar '15 11:46:12 AM johnnyfog
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->The standard-bearer for all worldwide sleaziness. Racist? [[RacistGrandma Yes]]. Cheap? [[AllJewsAreCheapskates Oh yes]]. Horny Neanderthal? [[DirtyOldMan Oh God, yes, yes!]] A landlord? [[CrankyLandlord Check]]—and by the way, if you don't have a check for him and you are a Latino, he will evict you three days early. He's like a {{Voltron}} of shitbags fused together. This is a man who once negotiated buying a fur coat for a mistress ''in front of the mistress's mom''. There is no introspection with Donald Sterling. There is no remorse. There is no shred of decency tucked inside of him that will engender some measure of sympathy. There is only this, taken from his deposition: ''"If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because [[ButForMeItWasTuesday you can't remember her name.]]"'' Pure class, kids.

to:

->The standard-bearer for all worldwide sleaziness. Racist? [[RacistGrandma Yes]]. Cheap? [[AllJewsAreCheapskates Oh yes]]. Horny Neanderthal? [[DirtyOldMan Oh God, yes, yes!]] A landlord? [[CrankyLandlord Check]]—and by the way, if you don't have a check for him and you are a Latino, he will evict you three days early. He's like a {{Voltron}} of shitbags fused together. This is a man who once negotiated buying a fur coat for a mistress ''in front of the mistress's mom''. There is no introspection with Donald Sterling. There is no remorse. [[JerkWithAHeartOfJerk There is no shred of decency tucked inside of him that will engender some measure of sympathy. sympathy.]] There is only this, taken from his deposition: ''"If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because [[ButForMeItWasTuesday you can't remember her name.]]"'' Pure class, kids.
5th Mar '15 11:45:57 AM johnnyfog
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Added DiffLines:

->The standard-bearer for all worldwide sleaziness. Racist? [[RacistGrandma Yes]]. Cheap? [[AllJewsAreCheapskates Oh yes]]. Horny Neanderthal? [[DirtyOldMan Oh God, yes, yes!]] A landlord? [[CrankyLandlord Check]]—and by the way, if you don't have a check for him and you are a Latino, he will evict you three days early. He's like a {{Voltron}} of shitbags fused together. This is a man who once negotiated buying a fur coat for a mistress ''in front of the mistress's mom''. There is no introspection with Donald Sterling. There is no remorse. There is no shred of decency tucked inside of him that will engender some measure of sympathy. There is only this, taken from his deposition: ''"If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because [[ButForMeItWasTuesday you can't remember her name.]]"'' Pure class, kids.
-->--'''[[http://www.gq.com/entertainment/sports/201409/25-biggest-sleazebags-in-sports Drew Magary]]''', "The 25 Biggest Sleazebags in Sports!"
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