Crichton: Haven't you read the Super Villain's Handbook? This is where you're supposed to twirl your moustache and gloat!
Maldis: I don't have a moustache, John.

"I mean, threatening innocents to get the Good Guy to cave? I might as well grow a mustache and twirl the end while I'm at it."

The vizier twirled his mustache, probably foreclosing another dozen mortgages.