History Quotes / CutLexLuthorACheck

->Okay, seriously, just answer this one for me. Why does Donovan even ''need'' to sell these [[BadassTransplant sunglasses]]? It's not like he needs the money! [[Fiction500 He owns a tropical island and runs a tournament in which he just gives away ten million dollars a year]] and surrounds himself with hot chicks every single day of his life. Does ''that'' sound like a guy who needs to sell fucking sunglasses? Why would he jeopardize all that committing kidnapping and murder? Hell, why even bother with all the subterfuge and the fake tournament thing? If you really wanna get fighting data, from martial artists, you could always, I don't know, tell the truth. Just offer to pay the world's greatest martial artists a million dollars to come to your island, get an injection, and spar with each other all day. I mean, is anyone even likely to care? At that point, it's not even illegal. Just patent the shit and sell it at Best Buy. You don't need to be a fucking ''supervillain'' about this.

->"What? A single world's fair refuses to put on an exhibition of my scientific discoveries? How dare they! I'm going to ransom them for a billion dollars and kill them all if they refuse as opposed to simply patenting my wonderful technologies and making billions!" Yeah, I think this is a prime example of why the writers decided making Luthor an evil business genius made more sense than keeping him as a mad scientist. Quite frankly, being a supervillain with this much intelligence and ability is just...dumb.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]''', mocking Lex Luthor in the crossover between Superman, Wonder Woman and the TRS-80 Whiz Kids

->Then let's go with your scenario. ''You'' win. What do you get? A huge portion of the Virginia shoreline slides into the ocean. An act of terrorism-for-profit that'll put every human and metahuman agent and agency on your trail for the rest of your natural life. And pray mercy on your ''after''life if you happen to kill anyone near and dear to Fate, Zatanna, or... so you see my point. How about hearing my counter-proposal? I can put you in contact with a major U.S. corporation that will co-patent this device with you. They're Gotham-based, so the post-No Man's Land investor incentives mean a healthy tax bonus. Your device is used in perpetuity for beach reclamation and you cash a fat check for waking up every morning. Yes, much better than another Flash-bash. Which... [[SarcasmMode yes, Wizard, I'm sure you would win this time]]... Fine. Your Gotham City contact will email you tomorrow.

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[[folder:Tabletop games]]

[[folder:Video games]]

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[[folder:Web animation]]

[[folder:Web original]]

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[[folder:Real life]]

-->--'''Piccolo''' to Dr. Gero, ''Anime/DragonBallZ''

-->--''Spider-Man and the X-Men''

-->-- Franchise/{{Batman}} to the [[ComicBook/TheFlash Weather Wizard]], ''JLA: Welcome to the Working Week''

->Dr. Evil, I spent 30 years of my life turning this two-bit evil empire into a world class multinational. I was going to have a cover story in ''Forbes''. But you, like an idiot, wanted to [[TakeOverTheWorld take over the world]]. And you don't realize there '''is''' no 'world' anymore! [[PrivatelyOwnedSociety It's only corporations!]]

-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2013/06/08/doctor-who-the-kings-demons-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS20E6TheKingsDemons}} "The King's Demons"]]

-->--'''''[=ComicsAlliance=]''''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-20-prophecy/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Prophecy")

-->--''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''

->'''Jay''': They travel to 2017, and Skynet is ''also'' building a time machine--conveniently.\\
'''Mike''': Why not make a time machine? They're making liquid metal people.\\
'''Jay''': In the same room as the time machine--conveniently.\\
'''Mike''': And then they're also making an app. The app seems to be the most important thing for everybody. "It's got a billion downloads! [-[[AndTheRest But we're also building a time machine and liquid people.]]-] But OUR APP! LET'S TALK ABOUT OUR APP!"
-->--''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' on ''Film/TerminatorGenisys''

-->--'''Creator/AllisonPregler''' on ''Vampire Dog''

->So you meet up with 'The Resistance' and learn that the terribly-engineered, slipshod vaults that killed everyone onboard also conditionally gave you superhuman nano-technology powers, and that 'The Authority' is looking to experiment on you for them. Since they're poorly-constructed bad guys, they don't just ask you to sign a consent form and offer compensation to participate in their study. They just wanna kill you for some reason.... The Authority is about as one-dimensional and evil as middle-school poetry.
-->--'''George Weidman''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMdJhP9UWcE on]] ''VideoGame/{{Rage}}''

->'What? A single world's fair refuses to put on an exhibition of my scientific discoveries? How dare they! I'm going to ransom them for a billion dollars and kill them all if they refuse as opposed to simply patenting my wonderful technologies and making billions!' Yeah, I think this is a prime example of why the writers decided making Luthor an evil business genius made more sense than keeping him as a mad scientist. Quite frankly, being a supervillain with this much intelligence and ability is just...dumb.

->[[TheFlintstones Barney and Fred]] are extremely close. They share the same job, hobbies, and circle of friends. When Fred finally hits Wilma too hard, Barney is the one who'll help make it [[CutHimselfShaving look like a footmobile accident.]] If this is some cereal they can't get in stores, there is no way Fred knows some [[GRatedDrug secret cereal dealer]] that Barney doesn't. And it can't possibly be financially related. Not only do they get the same paycheck, most of Barney's schemes cost magnitudes more than a box of sugar rice puffs. He once hired five ninjas and a hot air balloon to steal one serving of Pebbles. It's a risky thing, telling five professional murderers that their share of a heist is [[ComicallySmallBribe 16% of a bowl of soggy cereal...]]

[[folder:Comic books]]

->The Hood (BenKingsley) gets Jeff and his children trapped in space so he can hopefully use the Thunderbirds to rob a bank. Yeah, just rob a bank. The Hood does seem to lack a healthy imagination.

-->-- Franchise/{{Batman}} to the [[TheFlash Weather Wizard]], ''JLA: Welcome to the Working Week''

'''Chris''': Seriously. He’s a Nobel Prize-winning scientist who suffered a tragic accident and appears to only want to cure a disease in order to help his wife. If Bruce Wayne wouldn’t help him, [[TheOprahWinfreyShow Oprah]] would.

-->-- '''Sheldon J. Plankton''', ''[[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants]]''

-->-- '''Professor Hinkle''', ''FrostyTheSnowman''

->Okay, seriously, just answer this one for me. Why does Donovan even need to sell these [[BadassTransplant sunglasses]]? It's not like he needs the money! [[FictionFiveHundred He owns a tropical island and runs a tournament in which he just gives away ten million dollars a year]] and surrounds himself with hot chicks every single day of his life. Does that sound like a guy who needs to sell fucking sunglasses? Why would he jeopardize all that committing kidnapping and murder? Hell, why even bother with all the subterfuge and the fake tournament thing? If you really wanna get fighting data, from martial artists, you could always, I don't know, tell the truth. Just offer to pay the world's greatest martial artists a million dollars to come to your island, get an injection, and spar with each other all day. I mean, is anyone even likely to care? At that point, it's not even illegal. Just patent the shit and sell it at Best Buy. You don't need to be a fucking supervillain about this.

->Okay, seriously, just answer this one for me. Why does Donovan even need to sell these [[BadassTransplant sunglasses]]? It's not like he needs the money! He owns a tropical island and runs a tournament in which he just gives away ten million dollars a year and surrounds himself with hot chicks every single day of his life. Does that sound like a guy who needs to sell fucking sunglasses? Why would he jeopardize all that committing kidnapping and murder? Hell, why even bother with all the subterfuge and the fake tournament thing? If you really wanna get fighting data, from martial artists, you could always, I don't know, tell the truth. Just offer to pay the world's greatest martial artists a million dollars to come to your island, get an injection, and spar with each other all day. I mean, is anyone even likely to care? At that point, it's not even illegal. Just patent the shit and sell it at Best Buy. You don't need to be a fucking supervillain about this.

->Okay, seriously, just answer this one for me. Why does Donovan even need to sell these [[BadassTransplant sunglasses?]] It's not like he needs the money! He owns a tropical island and runs a tournament in which he just gives away ten million dollars a year and surrounds himself with hot chicks every single day of his life. Does that sound like a guy who needs to sell fucking sunglasses? Why would he jeopardize all that committing kidnapping and murder?

->Okay, seriously, just answer this one for me. Why does Donovan even need to sell these [[BadassTransplant sunglasses?]] It's not like he needs the money. He owns a tropical island and runs a tournament in which he just gives away ten million dollars a year and surrounds himself with hot chicks every single day of his life. Does that sound like a guy who needs to sell fucking sunglasses?

->'''Jay''': They travel to 2017, and Skynet is ''also'' building a time machine conveniently.\\
'''Mike''': Why NOT make a time machine? They're making liquid metal people.\\
'''Jay''': In the same room as the time machine conveniently.\\

->This is a pretty sensible plan. It's far less extreme than say, patenting the device, and getting a business loan, and selling the thing legitimately. And it's far easier than [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim just shooting Batman]], and then taking off his mask.
-->-- '''[[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Batman_Forever_1995.aspx?Page=9 The Agony Booth]]''', on ''Film/BatmanForever''

->Max Capricorn doesn't get spoken about much when it comes to the great ''Doctor Who'' villain but I think he has a lot to offer. He's visually delicious; confined to a steam punk contraption that only allows us to see his head protruding from oily wires and his retirement plan of destroying the Earth, slaughtering the board of his company and spending the rest of his days copping off with metal obsessed nymphs is inspired lunacy. No you can't take him seriously at all...but there are very few ''Doctor Who'' villains that I can.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/series-four.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWho2007CSVoyageOfTheDamned}} "Voyager of the Damned"]]

-->-- '''SelfDemonstrating/LexLuthor''', [[http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f26c4046b0/lex-luthor-bailout-with-jon-hamm asking for a government bailout]]

->I never believed [[TheSilverAgeOfComicBooks the original Luthor]]. Every story would begin with him breaking out of prison, finding some giant robot in an old lab he hid somewhere, and then he'd be defeated. My view was if he could afford all those labs and giant robots he wouldn't need to rob banks.

->Do you remember what the villains from ''WesternAnimation/{{Captain Planet|AndThePlaneteers}}'' were like, how they'd steal an oil tanker and deliberately run it smack into a beach [[ForTheEvulz to teach all the sea lions a lesson in complacency]]?

-->-- '''Brenda''', ''BlueBeetle''

-->-- ''MinionsAtWork'' [[http://www.minionsatwork.com/2012/04/minions-317-anti-gravity.html #317]].

-> Supervillains aren't supervillains because they are poor. No, supervillains are possessed of the intelligence, strength, and power to make many times the fortunes of normal men. Indeed, they're often very rich at the start of their careers. No supervillains are supervillains because they can't have enough, can't operate within normal laws, and don't WANT TO. Any person who could be a superhero and work within the lines usually IS. It's why there's so many fallen heroes amongst supervillains. They can't make it because being a hero isn't enough. Even if they choose not to be heroes, there's plenty of legitimate jobs they can make a vast fortune with their powers or expertise. Yet, still, we have a vast number of criminal psychopaths out to rule the world. Not because being a supervillain is the easier path, it's because supervillains are ABNORMAL, and abnormal people tend to gain powers more often.

->'''Jay''': They travel to 2017, and Skynet is ''also'' building a time machine conveniently... They say, "Oh, it's not gonna be ready for several years!", but then they use it immediately anyway.\\

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