History Quotes / ConMan

-->-- '''Reacher Gilt''', ''[[Literature/{{Discworld}} Going Postal]]''

-->-- '''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on Radio/GlennBeck

->''During his program, Beck also regularly encourages his listeners and viewers to buy gold. And while he doesn't advertise for Goldline directly during his scare tactic rants about [[YouMayPanicNow how the economy is going to collapse, and gold will be the only thing with value after the liberal apocalypse]], we are fortunate enough that once we're scared shitless, and desperate to buy gold, we get a convenient commercial by Glenn Beck himself, telling us that Goldline [[ViolinScam conveniently has gold for sale]].''

->I wish I could say that I don't think about the con when I deal with people, but the difference between me and my mother is that [[BelievingTheirOwnLies I don't con myself]].

-->--''Film/MrSkeffington''

'''Jack''': [[ExactWords They have ambulances in wars.]]
-->--''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS27E9TheEmptyChild}} "The Empty Child"]]

->"{{Wrestling/WWE}} are in a month-long, co-branding business venture with Susan G. Komen For the Cute, a breast cancer awareness group, a.k.a. a scam artist that [[FakeCharity only gives 21% of their money towards detection and research]], y'know, despite 'For the Cure' being in their name. Screening, mammograms. I won't belabor the point, but they ''can fuck right off''."
-->--''WebVideo/OSWReview'', Ep. 44

->"One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, ''do not accept this bet,'' because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an earful of cider."
-->--'''Sky Masterson''' quotes his father, ''Theatre/GuysAndDolls''

-->-- '''Fighter''', Webcomic/{{Eight Bit Theater}}

-->--'''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20007_5-ridiculous-lies-that-fooled-whole-world_p2.html Lillian Marx]]''' on "Doctor" Andrew Wakefield, ''Website/{{Cracked}}'' ("5 Ridiculous Lies That Fooled the Whole World")

->''Every year brings new and incontrovertible evidence that Lance Armstrong is the polar opposite of the inspiring legend he was once made out to be. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion that's nestled inside an asshole. Just this year, Armstrong...got fired by Nike and his own Livestrong charity. Also, Outside magazine found that Livestrong "donates almost nothing to scientific research." I put nothing past him anymore. By 2014, I expect him to be charged with supplying elephant growth hormone to Roger Clemens and orchestrating the civil war in Syria.''
-->--'''[[https://www.gq.com/gallery/least-influential-people-2012 Drew Magary]]''', "Least Influential People of 2012"

->''You're not gonna believe this, but it turns out some tech startups aren't all they claim to be! I'm as shocked as you are. Holmes was the Silicon Valley wunderkind in charge of Theranos, a biotech company once valued at $9 billion that turned out to be built on nothing but junk tech and doctored lab results. She is the Music/MilliVanilli of blood testing, as it were. And I remain consistently amazed that, despite being so widely parodied, there are still a great number of people out there who buy into her kind of [[{{Technobabble}} pseudobabble]]...She's not saying anything! Also, she sounds like a teenager imitating her dad on the phone so that she can score a Vicodin prescription.''

-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on Radio/GlennBeck

-->--US Congressman '''Leo J. Ryan''' on L. Ron Hubbard

!!Theatre
->"One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an earful of cider."

-->--'''[[https://www.gq.com/gallery/least-influential-people-2012 Drew Magary]]'''

-->--'''[[https://www.gq.com/gallery/least-influential-people-2012 Drew Magary]]''

'''Job''': He created everything but Rhode Island. Naturally, we started to investigate other orders that hadn't been confirmed. We found he'd sold $50,000 worth of railroad bonds to a man whose address placed him squarely in the middle of the Hudson River. Another block was sold to a man who could have had only the mildest interest in stocks and bonds, having been dead for 23 years.

'''Job''': He created everything but Rhode Island. Naturally, we started to investigate other orders that hadn't been confirmed. We found he'd sold $50,000 worth of railroad bonds to a man whose address placed him
squarely in the middle of the Hudson River. Another block was sold to a man who could have had only the mildest interest in stocks and bonds, having been dead for 23 years.

->Wow, your business is so legit, it doesn't even have to look real!
-->-- '''Fighter''', Webcomic/{{Eight Bit Theater}}

-> Calm yourself, Crispin. Nothing is going to go wrong. You think about money in the old-fashioned way. Money is not a thing, it is not even a process. It is a kind of shared dream. We dream that a small disc of common metal is worth the price of a substantial meal. Once you wake up from that dream, you can swim in a sea of money.

->It's almost as if he had a massive financial stake in scaring people into believing that the MMR vaccine was dangerous.
-->--'''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20007_5-ridiculous-lies-that-fooled-whole-world_p2.html Lillian Marx]]''' on "Doctor" Andrew Wakefield, ''Website/{{Cracked}}'' ("5 Ridiculous Lies That Fooled the Whole World")

->During his program, Beck also regularly encourages his listeners and viewers to buy gold. And while he doesn't advertise for Goldline directly during his scare tactic rants about [[YouMayPanicNow how the economy is going to collapse, and gold will be the only thing with value after the liberal apocalypse]], we are fortunate enough that once we're scared shitless, and desperate to buy gold, we get a convenient commercial by Glenn Beck himself, telling us that Goldline [[ViolinScam conveniently has gold for sale]]..
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on Radio/GlennBeck

->'''Jay''': {{Wrestling/WWE}} are in a month-long, co-''branding'' '''business venture''' with Susan G. Komen For the Cute, a breast cancer ''awareness'' group, a.k.a. a scam artist that [[FakeCharity only gives 21% of their money towards detection and research]], y'know, despite "For the Cure" being in their name. Screening, mammograms. I won't belabor the point, but they ''can fuck right off''.

->One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards [[AmbiguousSyntax and squirt cider in your ear]]. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.
-->--'''Sky Masterson''', ''Theatre/GuysAndDolls''

-> It was a con! I was conning you! That's what I am, I'm a con man!
-->-- '''Captain Jack Harkness''', ''Series/DoctorWho''

----
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-->--'''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20007_5-ridiculous-lies-that-fooled-whole-world_p2.html Lillian Marx]]''' on "Doctor" Andrew Wakefield, ''{{Cracked}}'' ("5 Ridiculous Lies That Fooled the Whole World")

->Being the grandmaster of internet {{troll}}s he fully mastered the art of violent rhetoric and uses it to push his fanboys' buttons with practiced ease. He prefers to send his foot soldiers to fight the battle while he [[LetsYouAndHimFight hides in his website]], proving that he is a coward. His followers completely fail to realize how he also treats them as disposable men, making him a giant-ass {{hypocrite}} as well.
-->--''Encyclopedia Dramatica'' on Men's Rights Activist Paul Elam

->One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.

-->--'''Sky Masterson''', ''Theater/GuysAndDolls''

->In reality, his assurance that his victims are well after his faith healing is rather likely to lead his victims to abort the treatments and medication schemes they are already using, so it is definitely not an innocent matter of innocuous faith. {{Creator/CBC}} later exposed Hinn’s tendency to use his church’s money for private purposes, and for [[{{Bouncer}} employing security guards disguised as men from the church]] to keep ''genuinely'' sick followers away from the stage so he doesn’t need to deal with them (or risk being exposed to something that he cannot heal).
-->--''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2013/10/767-benny-hinn.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]'' on Benny Hinn

'''V1''': What?! No, no. No fuckin' way. They're '''[[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain SUING CHARITIES.]]'''\\
'''Jay''': I'm very happy WWE are doing something with breast cancer awareness, but do you have to go with fucking scumbags?

->The MMR vaccine is an immunization shot you probably got as a baby that is supposed to prevent the measles and other diseases. These days, quite a few parents refuse the shot, because they heard somewhere that the vaccine somehow causes autism. They may have heard it from [[Series/TheView Jenny McCarthy]] or some other actor, but the whole thing goes back to a shady scientist named Andrew Wakefield...For starters, ''Wakefield's own scientist'' couldn't duplicate Wakefield's results. Wakefield also manipulated his data to ensure that children who were sick before getting the vaccine were reported as only being sick ''after.'' He flat-out changed results he didn't like or that didn't completely agree with his hypothesis, all while performing needless, painful tests on children.\\\
So why would he do all that?\\\
Well, there's the patent for [[AllNaturalSnakeOil a new MMR vaccine]] that Wakefield filled out before he published his paper, and the money he accepted from a legal aid fund that was trying to sue vaccine manufacturers (it's almost as if he [[LetNoCrisisGoToWaste had a massive financial stake in scaring people into believing that the MMR vaccine was dangerous]]).
-->--'''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_20007_5-ridiculous-lies-that-fooled-whole-world_p2.html Lillian Marx]]''', ''{{Cracked}}'', "5 Ridiculous Lies That Fooled the Whole World"

->Goldline International, a company that sells investment gold at substantially higher than market value, is a major advertiser on Beck's radio and cable television programs. During his program, Beck also regularly encourages his listeners and viewers to buy gold. And while he doesn't advertise for Goldline directly during his scare tactic rants about [[YouMayPanicNow how the economy is going to collapse, and gold will be the only thing with value after the liberal apocalypse]], we are fortunate enough that once we're scared shitless, and desperate to buy gold, we get a convenient commercial by Glenn Beck himself, telling us that Goldline [[ViolinScam conveniently has gold for sale]]. He walks a thin tightrope of 'avoiding' a conflict of interest. In 2011 Goldline was indicted for theft by false pretenses, false advertising and conspiracy.

->'''Jay''': What better color scheme to expand ''Hell in a Cell'' than pink and white ropes? It's because {{Wrestling/WWE}} are in a month-long, co-''branding'' '''business venture''' with Susan G. Komen For the Cute, a breast cancer ''awareness'' group, a.k.a. a scam artist that [[FakeCharity only gives 21% of their money towards detection and research]], y'know, despite "For the Cure" being in their name. Screening, mammograms. I won't belabor the point, but they ''can fuck right off''. Their CEO Nancy Brinker makes more than other [=CEOs=] of companies ''10 times'' their size, and they've taken legal action to over a hundred charities and nonprofits over their '''BRAND.''' Anyone using the words "for the cure", or using the word "cure" and the color pink...\\

-->--'''''RationalWiki''''' on Radio/GlennBeck

-->-- '''Reacher Gilt''', ''[[{{Discworld}} Going Postal]]''

-->-- '''Fighter''', {{Eight Bit Theater}}