History Quotes / BrokeTheRatingscale

-->-- Creator/MarkPrindle on ''American Life''

-->--Creator/TerryPratchett, from ''Lords and Ladies''

->Even ''{{Nintendo Power}}'' couldn't get excited about this game, and that was the kind of magazine that could do an 8 page feature on ''Care Bears Care Quest''. ''Nintendo Power'' reviewed games the same way Helen Keller masturbated-- [[RefugeInAudacity indiscriminately and with an unbreakable positive spirit]]. For example, the only criticism they had for ''Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball'' was that the label came off after [[YesMan a single six hour kiss]]. Yet when they previewed ''Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill'' they panned it. They panned it on the same page as an excited sneak peek at ''Rex Ronan: Experimental Surgeon'', an [[EdutainmentGame educational game]] about lung cancer awareness.

-->-- Alex Navarro, ''Frightfully Bad Games''

-->-- Jason Sartin of RPG.net, on ''TabletopGame/{{FATAL}}''.

-->-- Creator/RogerEbert on ''Film/FreddyGotFingered''

->The worst pay-per-view in years. This was horrible! Horrible! [[SarcasmFailure I don't even know what else to say]]...I should do a Wrestling/ChrisJericho promo and start reading out of a thesaurus--horrible, wretched... appalling... atrocious, insulting... god, this was horrible! This show didn't have a single match above two-and-a-half stars. It had one match[[note]]Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell[[/note]] that I gave '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis MINUS. FIVE. STARS]]'''!

->All right. Fine. I keep getting letters, I've gotten letters from the beginning, asking me if I would give an episode a zero. I say, no, because that's not really a review. 1 is the end of the scale of awful. 5 is the best of the best. Zero would just be something that didn't even register. Something that didn't exist. Something less than nothing to me.\\\

->''"But in all my years of reviewing -- from the beginning of the 20th century clear through to the end of the 21st - I never expected to come across an album with such a volative mixture of uncreative melody, embarrassing production and offensive, moronic lyricism that it would physically bust through the bottom of my scale and force my wife to design a graphic for 'ZERO'. After all, how would one go about getting a ZERO on a scale of 1 to 10? Genius that she is, Music/{{Madonna}} has figured it out!"''

->''"On a scale of ethereal from one to ten he looked as if he was on some other scale, probably buried in deep ocean sludge".''

->''"So there you have it. Games ''so'' bad we can't review them because our rating scale doesn't have a zero."''

->''"Even ''{{Nintendo Power}}'' couldn't get excited about this game, and that was the kind of magazine that could do an 8 page feature on ''Care Bears Care Quest''. ''Nintendo Power'' reviewed games the same way Helen Keller masturbated-- [[RefugeInAudacity indiscriminately and with an unbreakable positive spirit]]. For example, the only criticism they had for ''Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball'' was that the label came off after [[YesMan a single six hour kiss]]. Yet when they previewed ''Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill'' they panned it. They panned it on the same page as an excited sneak peek at ''Rex Ronan: Experimental Surgeon'', an [[EdutainmentGame educational game]] about lung cancer awareness."''

->''"This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''"BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing"

->'''Rich:''' My pick is going to be something unusual. If I had to pick not the Worst of the Worst but the ''Best''... I'm picking ''Lethal Ninja'' as the best of the worst. '''But''', because that first hour and 10 minutes is ''so'' bad, I'm also picking it ''as the film we destroy''.\\

-->--'''''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''''' on ''Lethal Ninja'' (1992)

->''"Oh, but wait, folks! Here's where it gets [[SeasonFinale FINALE-EY!]] Clark and Lex square off. Lex finds out Clark's secret, the one thing in continuity they hadn't totally screwed up yet. Clark reveals his powers arbitrarily, without rationale, and why? Because it's the finale...The Fortress retracts, breaks apart, Clark writhes on the ground, we have no idea what the heck is happening, and suddenly we're left with empty snowy wastes.\\\
[[DeathBySecretIdentity This is closure for Lex?]] [[DroppedABridgeOnHim This is the closure we get?]]\\\
SEVEN YEARS AND THIS IS THE CLOSURE WE GET FOR LEX?\\\
All right. Fine. I keep getting letters, I've gotten letters from the beginning, asking me if I would give an episode a zero. I say, no, because that's not really a review. 1 is the end of the scale of awful. 5 is the best of the best. Zero would just be something that didn't even register. Something that didn't exist. Something less than nothing to me.\\\

0 of 5."''

->''"If you learn only one thing from all we've written today, make sure it's that giving FATAL a 1/1 Style/Substance rating was an insult to almost every other product on RPG.net that ever got a 1/1."''

->''"The worst pay-per-view in years. This was horrible! Horrible! [[SarcasmFailure I don't even know what else to say]]...I should do a Wrestling/ChrisJericho promo and start reading out of a thesaurus--horrible, wretched... appalling... atrocious, insulting... god, this was horrible! This show didn't have a single match above two-and-a-half stars. It had one match[[note]]Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell[[/note]] that I gave '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis MINUS. FIVE. STARS]]'''!"''

->''"The worst pay-per-view in years. This was horrible! Horrible! [[SarcasmFailure I don't even know what else to say]]...I should do a Wrestling/ChrisJericho promo and start reading out of a thesaurus--horrible, wretched, vile, appalling, useless, atrocious, insulting, devoid of merit...god, this was horrible! This show didn't have a single match above two-and-a-half stars. It had one match[[note]]Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell[[/note]] that I gave '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis MINUS. FIVE. STARS]]'''!"''

->''"This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing"''

-->--'''Bryan Alvarez''', on ''Victory Road '09''

-->--'''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Best of the Worst]]''' on ''Lethal Ninja'' (1992)

-->'''Morgan Webb''', ''{{XPlay}}''

-->-- MarkPrindle on ''American Life''

->''"I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film."''
-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''TheHumanCentipede''

->'''Rich:''' My pick is going to be something unusual. If I had to pick not the Worst of the Worst but the ''Best''... I'm picking ''Lethal Ninja'' as the best of the worst. '''But''', because that first hour and 10 minutes is ''so'' bad, I'm also picking it ''as the film we destroy''.\\
''([[WildTake everyone recoils as if from an earthquake]])''\\
'''Len Kabasinski :''' What... just... happened? Is this real life?
-->--'''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Best of the Worst]]''' on ''Lethal Ninja'' (1992)

->''"When it comes to ramping it up, there's one location guaranteed to find the dial marked 'Awesome,' turn it to eleven, rip it off, and run away laughing."''
-->-- ''Series/{{MythBusters}}'' narration

->''"But in all my years of reviewing - from the beginning of the 20th century clear through to the end of the 21st - I never expected to come across an album with such a volative mixture of uncreative melody, embarrassing production and offensive, moronic lyricism that it would physically bust through the bottom of my scale and force my wife to design a graphic for 'ZERO'. After all, how would one go about getting a ZERO on a scale of 1 to 10? Genius that she is, Music/{{Madonna}} has figured it out!"''
-->-- MarkPrindle on ''American Life''

->''"So there you have it. Games ''so'' bad we can't review them because our rating scale doesn't have a zero."''
-->'''Morgan Webb''', ''{{XPlay}}''

->'''Rich:''' My pic is going to be something unusual. If I had to pick not the Worst of the Worst but the ''Best'' of the ''Best''... I'm picking ''Lethal Ninja'' as the best of the worst. '''But''', because that first hour and 10 minutes is ''so'' bad, I'm also picking it ''as the film we destroy''.\\

->''On a scale of ethereal from one to ten, [the Pictsie] was on some other scale, probably buried in deep ocean sludge.''

-> "This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''
--> Alex Navarro, ''Frightfully Bad Games''

-> "If you learn only one thing from all we've written today, make sure it's that giving FATAL a 1/1 Style/Substance rating was an insult to almost every other product on RPG.net that ever got a 1/1."
--> Jason Sartin of RPG.net, on ''TabletopGame/{{FATAL}}''.

-> "When it comes to ramping it up, there's one location guaranteed to find the dial marked 'Awesome,' turn it to eleven, rip it off, and run away laughing."
--> ''Series/{{MythBusters}}'' narration

-> "But in all my years of reviewing - from the beginning of the 20th century clear through to the end of the 21st - I never expected to come across an album with such a volative mixture of uncreative melody, embarrassing production and offensive, moronic lyricism that it would physically bust through the bottom of my scale and force my wife to design a graphic for 'ZERO'. After all, how would one go about getting a ZERO on a scale of 1 to 10? Genius that she is, Music/{{Madonna}} has figured it out!"
--> MarkPrindle on ''American Life''

-> So there you have it. Games ''so'' bad we can't review them because our rating scale doesn't have a zero.

-> "But in all my years of reviewing - from the beginning of the 20th century clear through to the end of the 21st -- I never expected to come across an album with such a volative mixture of uncreative melody, embarrassing production and offensive, moronic lyricism that it would physically bust through the bottom of my scale and force my wife to design a graphic for "ZERO." After all, how would one go about getting a ZERO on a scale of 1 to 10? Genius that she is, Music/{{Madonna}} has figured it out!"

--> MythBusters narration

-> "This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''VideoGame/BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''

-> "This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''

--> Jason Sartin of RPG.net, on TabletopGame/{{FATAL}}.

-->--TerryPratchett, from ''Lords and Ladies''

--> Jason Sartin of RPG.net, on FATAL.

--> Jason Sartin of RPG.net, on FATAL

-> "If you learn only one thing from all we've written today, make sure it's that giving FATAL a 1/1 Style/Substance rating was an insult to almost every other product on RPGnet that ever got a 1/1."

-> "Please understand that this is a gross insult to every other product we have ever given 1/1 Style/Substance rating, but it won't go any lower."
--> Darren Mclannen of RPG.net, on FATAL

--> Alex Navarro, ''Frightfully Bad Games''

* "This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''

-> Alex Navarro, ''Frightfully Bad Games''