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Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
->'''Richie:''' (Preparing to haul a passed-out Eddie up the stairs by means of a rope tied to his leg) Well thank you, Lord, for making me such a nice person. Not many of use, ehh? Just me, Jesus, and Mahatma Ghandi. (Fixes rope to ceiling and sings:) "Do your balls hang low? Can you swing 'em to and fro? / Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? / Do you get a funny feeling when they're hanging from the ceiling? / Oh you'll never be sailor if your balls hang low..." (Yanks Eddie into the bannister, [[GroinAttack crotch first]].)\\
to:
->'''Richie:''' (Preparing to haul a passed-out Eddie up the stairs by means of a rope tied to his leg) Well thank you, Lord, for making me such a nice person. Not many of use, ehh? Just me, Jesus, and Mahatma Ghandi. Well, actually, I'm much nicer than those two. I mean, Jesus had his problems but he never had to put Eddie to bed. (Fixes rope to ceiling and sings:) "Do your balls hang low? Can you swing 'em to and fro? / Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? / Do you get a funny feeling when they're hanging from the ceiling? / Oh you'll never be sailor if your balls hang low..." (Yanks Eddie into the bannister, [[GroinAttack crotch first]].)\\
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Eddie''': I've got it! We'll call it the Esther Rantzen.\\
to:
Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
-->Always keep your mouth open when you're insulting a lady.
to:
Changed line(s) 8,12 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie:''' Well, she had an earring.
-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, through ''her'' foreskin!
-->'''Richie:''' Yes, which I found out later, much to my distress!
-->'''Richie:''' What's in this?!\\
-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, through ''her'' foreskin!
-->'''Richie:''' Yes, which I found out later, much to my distress!
-->'''Richie:''' What's in this?!\\
to:
Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie:''' (Preparing to haul a passed-out Eddie up the stairs by means of a rope tied to his leg) Well thank you, Lord, for making me such a nice person. Not many of use, ehh? Just me, Jesus, and Mahatma Ghandi. (Fixes rope to ceiling and sings:) "Do your balls hang low? Can you swing 'em to and fro? / Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? / Do you get a funny feeling when they're hanging from the ceiling? / Oh you'll never be sailor if your balls hang low..." (Yanks Eddie into the bannister, [[GroinAttack crotch first]].)\\
to:
Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie:''' There's a 28 inch surround sound TV with fast text, FST, NICAM and loads of other bollocks that no-one understands that I've had my eye on for a couple of months now. Right, shopping list, shopping list... I'll grab my ballpoint.\\
to:
Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eddie:''' (disguised as that bird from the abattoir) Sleep on the sofa? on my honeymoon? My mother warned me about you, you bastard, [proceeds to beat Richie] you brute, Oh I've suffered in the name of love! Only women bleed!\\
to:
Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie''' So who is she getting married to?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eddie:''' Sprouts Mexicain?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie:''' Where's that packet of johnnies we used to have?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 56 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie:''' Fancy a cocktail before bed?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 61 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eddie:''' Is that the one with napalm in it?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 65 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Waiter:''' Look it's Ted Rodgers in a dress.\\
to:
Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie''': What would 007 have? Ooh! Vodka martini.\\
to:
Changed line(s) 75 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie''': What were the charges again?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 78 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eddie''': We can't go on like this. Why did they take the telly away?\\
to:
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Changed line(s) 9,11 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, through "her" foreskin!
-->'''Richie:''' Yes. Which I found out later, much to my distress.
-->'''Richie:''' Yes. Which I found out later, much to my distress.
to:
-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, through "her" ''her'' foreskin!
-->'''Richie:'''Yes. Which Yes, which I found out later, much to my distress.
distress!
-->'''Richie:'''
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
'''Richie''': ''[sarcastically with an effeminate voice and camp gesture]'' Drambuie?! Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh\\
to:
'''Richie''': ''[sarcastically with an effeminate voice and camp gesture]'' Drambuie?! Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh\\hoo-hoo!\\
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Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie''': Because [[GargleBlaster it pulls your gums back over your teeth]]. ''(Takes a sip, grimaces, imitates Esther Rantzen's voice:)'' And on tonight's program, an interesting misprint that says "penis"!
to:
'''Eddie''': Because [[GargleBlaster it pulls your gums back over your teeth]]. ''(Takes a sip, grimaces, imitates Esther Rantzen's voice:)'' And on tonight's program, programme, an interesting misprint that says "penis"!
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Misquote corrected.
Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie''': Because [[GargleBlaster it pulls your gums back over your teeth]]. ''(Takes a sip, grimaces, imitates Esther Rantzen's voice:)'' And on tonight's program, an amusing misprint that says "penis"!
to:
'''Eddie''': Because [[GargleBlaster it pulls your gums back over your teeth]]. ''(Takes a sip, grimaces, imitates Esther Rantzen's voice:)'' And on tonight's program, an amusing interesting misprint that says "penis"!
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
'''Richie:''' Drambuie?! Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!\\
to:
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?
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
'''Richie:''' Drambuie?! [[CampGay Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!]]\\
to:
'''Richie:''' Drambuie?! [[CampGay Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!]]\\ooooh!\\
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
-> '''Eddie''': I've got it! We'll call it the Esther Rantzen.\\
to:
Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
->Always keep your mouth open when you're insulting a lady.
to:
Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
'''Richie''' [[FoeYay He's not marrying Ted Rodgers?]]\\
to:
'''Richie''' [[FoeYay He's not marrying Ted Rodgers?]]\\Rodgers?\\
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Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie''': Because [[GargleBlaster it pulls your gums back over your teeth]]. ''(Takes a sip, grimaces, imitates Esther Rantzen's voice:)'' And on tonight's program, an interesting misprint that says "penis"!
to:
'''Eddie''': Because [[GargleBlaster it pulls your gums back over your teeth]]. ''(Takes a sip, grimaces, imitates Esther Rantzen's voice:)'' And on tonight's program, an interesting amusing misprint that says "penis"!
Changed line(s) 6,11 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eddie Hitler''', ''on chivalry.''
-->'''Richie:''' Well she had an earring.
-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, through 'her' foreskin.
-->'''Richie:''' Yes, which I found out later much to my distress!
-->'''Richie:''' Well she had an earring.
-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, through 'her' foreskin.
-->'''Richie:''' Yes, which I found out later much to my distress!
to:
-->'''Richie:'''
-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, through
-->'''Richie:'''
Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie:''' Brandy!\\
to:
'''Eddie:''' Brandy!\\Brandy...\\
Changed line(s) 17,20 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie:''' "[[CasanovaWannabe Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright! You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?]]\\
'''Richie:''' *taking a whiff* Jesus! How are you alive?!\\
'''Eddie:''' "[[CloudCuckoolander I may very well not be!]]
'''Richie:''' *taking a whiff* Jesus! How are you alive?!\\
'''Eddie:''' "[[CloudCuckoolander I may very well not be!]]
to:
'''Eddie:''' "[[CasanovaWannabe [[CasanovaWannabe Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright! You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?]]\\
'''Richie:'''*taking ''[takes a whiff* whiff]'' Jesus! How are you alive?!\\
''alive?''\\
'''Eddie:'''"[[CloudCuckoolander [[CloudCuckoolander I may very well not be!]]
NOT be.]]
'''Richie:'''
'''Eddie:'''
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Changed line(s) 76,77 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking wiggling our todgers at the Queen]].
to:
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 four—hundred pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Anti—Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, regicide, arson, causing an affray, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking wiggling our todgers at the Queen]].
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Changed line(s) 22,23 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie:''' (mumbles as Richie pulls him upstairs) Take it easy, Selina, we've got all night. Do your worst your swarvy-eyed fiend I'll never talk. Good evening your madjesty I can see your pants from here.
to:
'''Eddie:''' (mumbles as Richie pulls him upstairs) Take it easy, Selina, we've got all night. Do your worst your swarvy-eyed slanty-eyed fiend I'll never talk. talk!! Good evening your madjesty majesty. I can see your pants from here.
Changed line(s) 26,27 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie:''' Oh -- No time for crap double entendres, Richie, the window of Curry's just blown. They've thrown Asswag through it!
to:
'''Eddie:''' Oh -- No time for crap double entendres, Richie, the window of Curry's just blown. They've thrown Asswag [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aswad_(band) Aswad]] through it!
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Changed line(s) 22,23 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie:''' (mumbles) Take it easy, Selina, we've got all night.
to:
'''Eddie:''' (mumbles) (mumbles as Richie pulls him upstairs) Take it easy, Selina, we've got all night.
night. Do your worst your swarvy-eyed fiend I'll never talk. Good evening your madjesty I can see your pants from here.
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Changed line(s) 76,77 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and [[ArsonMurderJaywalking wiggling our todgers at the Queen]].
to:
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and [[ArsonMurderJaywalking [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking wiggling our todgers at the Queen]].
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Changed line(s) 58 (click to see context) from:
'''Richie:''' Oh come on ya big poof! what about a "bloody mavis"?\\
to:
'''Richie:''' Oh come on ya big poof! what about a "bloody mavis"?\\"Bloody Mavis"?\\
Changed line(s) 76,77 (click to see context) from:
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and wiggling our todgers at the Queen.
to:
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and [[ArsonMurderJaywalking wiggling our todgers at the Queen.
Queen]].
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Changed line(s) 83 (click to see context) from:
'''Richie''': Alright, let's change the subject, it's irrelevant. In fact, I forgive you.
to:
'''Richie''': Alright, let's change the subject, it's irrelevant. In fact, I forgive you.\\
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Changed line(s) 75,95 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie''': What were the charges again?
-->'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and wiggling our todgers at the Queen.
-->'''Eddie''': I wonder what the pigmies do
-->'''Richie''': They wander around saying "cricky isn't everything big?"
-->'''Eddie''': We can't go on like this. Why did they take the telly away?
-->'''Richie''': You know very well. They took the telly away because according to you, while you were wending your merry way down to the telly shop with the rent money. You came across a strange old man who sold you 4 magic beans which cost exactly the £86.23 we owed in back-rent to Rumbalow's.
-->'''Eddie''': They are magic beans you know.
-->'''Richie''': Oh yes, and hear is the magic beanstalk(holds up an empty plant pot).
-->'''Eddie''': Well it wasn't me who let us get behind with rent was it? how did we get £86.23 behind in the first place?
-->'''Richie''': Alright let's change the subject, it's irrelevent in fact I forgive you.
-->'''Eddie''' It wasn't me who bypassed Rumbalow's for 3 months, saved up the money and took it to Dr. O'Grady's [[DoubleEntendre personal organ enhancement clinic]]
-->'''Richie''': Er... cup of tea Eddie or some money?
-->'''Eddie''' [[LargeHam WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY MONEY THAT'S THE PROBLEM]].
-->'''Eddie''': For a mere £85, you too can have your personal organ enhance so that is comparable in size to that of a fully grown mountain gorilla.
-->'''Richie''': Yes and when he said comparable in size I didn't think he meant an aweful lot smaller than.
-->'''Eddie''': What you mean it didn't work?
-->'''Richie''': Well he did enhance it temporarily, but when it said on the door "revolutionary, new enhancement technique" I didn't realise he just gonna stick me in a cubicle with a copy of razzle.
-->'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and wiggling our todgers at the Queen.
-->'''Eddie''': I wonder what the pigmies do
-->'''Richie''': They wander around saying "cricky isn't everything big?"
-->'''Eddie''': We can't go on like this. Why did they take the telly away?
-->'''Richie''': You know very well. They took the telly away because according to you, while you were wending your merry way down to the telly shop with the rent money. You came across a strange old man who sold you 4 magic beans which cost exactly the £86.23 we owed in back-rent to Rumbalow's.
-->'''Eddie''': They are magic beans you know.
-->'''Richie''': Oh yes, and hear is the magic beanstalk(holds up an empty plant pot).
-->'''Eddie''': Well it wasn't me who let us get behind with rent was it? how did we get £86.23 behind in the first place?
-->'''Richie''': Alright let's change the subject, it's irrelevent in fact I forgive you.
-->'''Eddie''' It wasn't me who bypassed Rumbalow's for 3 months, saved up the money and took it to Dr. O'Grady's [[DoubleEntendre personal organ enhancement clinic]]
-->'''Richie''': Er... cup of tea Eddie or some money?
-->'''Eddie''' [[LargeHam WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY MONEY THAT'S THE PROBLEM]].
-->'''Eddie''': For a mere £85, you too can have your personal organ enhance so that is comparable in size to that of a fully grown mountain gorilla.
-->'''Richie''': Yes and when he said comparable in size I didn't think he meant an aweful lot smaller than.
-->'''Eddie''': What you mean it didn't work?
-->'''Richie''': Well he did enhance it temporarily, but when it said on the door "revolutionary, new enhancement technique" I didn't realise he just gonna stick me in a cubicle with a copy of razzle.
to:
-->'''Richie''': What were the charges again?
-->'''Eddie''':again?\\
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and wiggling our todgers at the Queen.
-->'''Eddie''': I wonder what the pigmies do
-->'''Richie''': They wander around saying "cricky isn't everything big?"
-->'''Eddie''': We can't go on like this. Why did they take the telly away?
-->'''Richie''':away?\\
'''Richie''': You know verywell. well, Edward Hitler. They took the telly away because because, according to you, while you were wending your merry way down to the telly shop with the rent money. You money, you came across a strange old man who sold you 4 four magic beans which beans. Which cost exactly ''exactly'' the £86.23 we owed in back-rent to Rumbalow's.
-->'''Eddie''':Rumbelow's.\\
'''Eddie''': Theyare ''are'' magic beans beans, you know.
-->'''Richie''':know!\\
'''Richie''': Oh yes, andhear ''here'' is the magic beanstalk(holds beanstalk! ''[Holds up an empty plant pot).
-->'''Eddie''': Wellpot]'' Good thing I've got a head for heights, because it's a ''whopper!''\\
'''Eddie''': Well, it wasn't me who let us get behind withrent the rent, was it? how How did we get £86.23 behind in the first place?
-->'''Richie''': Alrightplace?\\
'''Richie''': Alright, let's change the subject, it'sirrelevent in fact irrelevant. In fact, I forgive you.
-->'''Eddie''' '''Eddie''' It wasn't me who bypassed Rumbalow's Rumbelow's for 3 months, saved up the money and took it to Dr. O'Grady's [[DoubleEntendre personal organ enhancement clinic]]
-->'''Richie''':Personal Organ Enhancement Clinic]].\\
'''Richie''': Er... cup oftea Eddie or tea, Eddie? Or some money?
-->'''Eddie'''money?\\
'''Eddie''': [[LargeHam WE HAVEN'T GOT ANYMONEY MONEY! THAT'S THE PROBLEM]].
-->'''Eddie''': ForPROBLEM!]] ..."For a mere eighty-five pounds -- "\\
'''Richie''': Oh, God.\\
'''Eddie''': "For a mere £85, you too can have your personal organenhance enhanced so that it is comparable in size to that of a fully grown mountain gorilla.
-->'''Richie''': Yes andgorilla."\\
'''Richie''': Yes, but when he saidcomparable "comparable in size size" I didn't think he meant an aweful "an awful lot smaller than.
-->'''Eddie''': What youthan".\\
'''Eddie''': What? You mean it didn'twork?
-->'''Richie''': Wellwork?\\
'''Richie''': Well, he did enhance ittemporarily, but ''temporarily''... But when it said on the door "revolutionary, door, "revolutionary new enhancement technique" technique", I didn't realise think he was just gonna going to stick me in a cubicle with a copy of razzle.''Razzle''.
-->'''Eddie''':
'''Eddie''': Attempted asphyxiation of the population of [[NoCommunitiesWereHarmed West London]], detonating 400 pounds of semtex in controversion of the Anti-Terrorism Act, attempted genocide, arson, causing an affray, and wiggling our todgers at the Queen.
-->'''Richie''': They wander around saying "cricky isn't everything big?"
-->'''Richie''':
'''Richie''': You know very
-->'''Eddie''':
'''Eddie''': They
-->'''Richie''':
'''Richie''': Oh yes, and
-->'''Eddie''': Well
'''Eddie''': Well, it wasn't me who let us get behind with
-->'''Richie''': Alright
'''Richie''': Alright, let's change the subject, it's
-->'''Richie''':
'''Richie''': Er... cup of
-->'''Eddie'''
'''Eddie''': [[LargeHam WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY
-->'''Eddie''': For
'''Richie''': Oh, God.\\
'''Eddie''': "For a mere £85, you too can have your personal organ
-->'''Richie''': Yes and
'''Richie''': Yes, but when he said
-->'''Eddie''': What you
'''Eddie''': What? You mean it didn't
-->'''Richie''': Well
'''Richie''': Well, he did enhance it
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Changed line(s) 82 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie''': You know very well. They toke the telly away because acording to you, while you were wending your merry way down to the telly shop with the rent money. You came across a strange old man who sold you 4 magic beans which cost exactly the £86.23 we owed in back-rent to Rumbalows.
to:
-->'''Richie''': You know very well. They toke took the telly away because acording according to you, while you were wending your merry way down to the telly shop with the rent money. You came across a strange old man who sold you 4 magic beans which cost exactly the £86.23 we owed in back-rent to Rumbalows.Rumbalow's.
Changed line(s) 84 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richie''': Oh yes and hear is the magic beanstalk(holds up an empty plant pot).
to:
-->'''Richie''': Oh yes yes, and hear is the magic beanstalk(holds up an empty plant pot).pot).
-->'''Eddie''': Well it wasn't me who let us get behind with rent was it? how did we get £86.23 behind in the first place?
-->'''Richie''': Alright let's change the subject, it's irrelevent in fact I forgive you.
-->'''Eddie''' It wasn't me who bypassed Rumbalow's for 3 months, saved up the money and took it to Dr. O'Grady's [[DoubleEntendre personal organ enhancement clinic]]
-->'''Richie''': Er... cup of tea Eddie or some money?
-->'''Eddie''' [[LargeHam WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY MONEY THAT'S THE PROBLEM]].
-->'''Eddie''': For a mere £85, you too can have your personal organ enhance so that is comparable in size to that of a fully grown mountain gorilla.
-->'''Richie''': Yes and when he said comparable in size I didn't think he meant an aweful lot smaller than.
-->'''Eddie''': What you mean it didn't work?
-->'''Richie''': Well he did enhance it temporarily, but when it said on the door "revolutionary, new enhancement technique" I didn't realise he just gonna stick me in a cubicle with a copy of razzle.
-->'''Eddie''': Well it wasn't me who let us get behind with rent was it? how did we get £86.23 behind in the first place?
-->'''Richie''': Alright let's change the subject, it's irrelevent in fact I forgive you.
-->'''Eddie''' It wasn't me who bypassed Rumbalow's for 3 months, saved up the money and took it to Dr. O'Grady's [[DoubleEntendre personal organ enhancement clinic]]
-->'''Richie''': Er... cup of tea Eddie or some money?
-->'''Eddie''' [[LargeHam WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY MONEY THAT'S THE PROBLEM]].
-->'''Eddie''': For a mere £85, you too can have your personal organ enhance so that is comparable in size to that of a fully grown mountain gorilla.
-->'''Richie''': Yes and when he said comparable in size I didn't think he meant an aweful lot smaller than.
-->'''Eddie''': What you mean it didn't work?
-->'''Richie''': Well he did enhance it temporarily, but when it said on the door "revolutionary, new enhancement technique" I didn't realise he just gonna stick me in a cubicle with a copy of razzle.