History Quotes / BadMovieBeatdown

4th Jan '17 7:55:47 AM DeepthroatGhoul
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->''You know how I said at the end of my '''Film/MegaSharkVsGiantOctopus''' review how Creator/TheAsylum seem to be improving? Well, I take that back because this film is atrocious on every level. The CGI is awful, with the piranhas [[OffModel changing from shot to shot]]. The acting is more wooden than a rainforest and the script, when it's not being incredibly stupid and filled with plot holes, is just an [[RecycledScript unimaginative clone]] of '''Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus'''. Even as a cheesy BMovie, it's so damn awful it borders on downright unwatchable.''

to:

->''You ->''"You know how I said at the end of my '''Film/MegaSharkVsGiantOctopus''' review how Creator/TheAsylum seem to be improving? Well, I take that back because this film is atrocious on every level. The CGI is awful, with the piranhas [[OffModel changing from shot to shot]]. The acting is more wooden than a rainforest and the script, when it's not being incredibly stupid and filled with plot holes, is just an [[RecycledScript unimaginative clone]] of '''Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus'''. Even as a cheesy BMovie, it's so damn awful it borders on downright unwatchable.''"''


Added DiffLines:

->''"This movie is a lump of coal! It's terribly scripted with a huge number of plotholes and contrivances. The characters are badly written and often act inconsistently from scene to scene. This isn't helped by the performances, particularly that of a spectacularly micast Lukas Haas, who makes himself look like a fool trying to act tough! It's like a Lifetime TV movie meets an exploitation flick, encouraging murder as female empowerment, which is borderline reprehensible! It's also full of padding and stalling to make the incredibly thin story reach feature-length, with many dull stretches particularly early on. You know what this reminded me of? British horror flick '''Film/EdenLake''', which is a lot more brutal, a lot more relentless, and a lot more suspenseful. Go see that, not this turkey!"''
-->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''While She Was Out''
26th Nov '16 4:39:43 PM Dancedom
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->''"Damn it, ''One Night Stand'' you are infuriating! This drama is completely confused. The issue of infidelity is a tricky subject and the treatment here doesn't do it justice. The performances are excellent, especially Creator/RobertDowneyJr, but the characters are largely unlikable and the plot is ludicrously convoluted. I really don't get who this was supposed to be aimed at, it's not lurid and exploitive as you might first think, but it doesn't really satisfy some mature drama because it constantly shies away from making tough decisions or actually having a viewpoint. This culminates in a preposterous cop-out twist that is absolutely rage-inducing. The AIDS scenes are absolutely harrowing but they deserve a better, different movie that isn't using the topic to make itself feel so usually important. I also found the directing style irritating and aggravatingly pretentious. The film is basically a time capsule of 90s filmmaking both for better and for worse."''

to:

->''"Damn it, ''One '''One Night Stand'' Stand''' you are infuriating! This drama is completely confused. The issue of infidelity is a tricky subject and the treatment here doesn't do it justice. The performances are excellent, especially Creator/RobertDowneyJr, but the characters are largely unlikable and the plot is ludicrously convoluted. I really don't get who this was supposed to be aimed at, it's not lurid and exploitive as you might first think, but it doesn't really satisfy some mature drama because it constantly shies away from making tough decisions or actually having a viewpoint. This culminates in a preposterous cop-out twist that is absolutely rage-inducing. The AIDS scenes are absolutely harrowing but they deserve a better, different movie that isn't using the topic to make itself feel so usually important. I also found the directing style irritating and aggravatingly pretentious. The film is basically a time capsule of 90s filmmaking both for better and for worse."''
26th Nov '16 2:31:21 AM DeepthroatGhoul
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->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the ''Die Hard'' well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarrassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this [[{{Jerkass}} massively unlikable wanker]] that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially if they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''

to:

->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the ''Die Hard'' '''Die Hard''' well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarrassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this [[{{Jerkass}} massively unlikable wanker]] that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially if they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''
25th Oct '16 5:13:26 PM CumbersomeTercel
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->''"Although it isn't as bad as some of the heinous sequels it spawned, it does deserve this review for being so dull. I mean you can't just have fast cars take the plot. There has something going on behind it. It takes itself too seriously and is no fun. Creator/PaulWalker might need checking for termites judging by his acting. And the film is already heavily dated and only eight years after its release due to its migraine-inducing soundtrack. The new movie, '''Fast & Furious''', is being depicted as a return to form for the series. From terrible to just plain mediocre. Yeah, just some comeback. Now if you excuse me, I need to go rev my engine."''

to:

->''"Although it isn't as bad as some of the heinous sequels it spawned, it does deserve this review for being so dull. I mean you can't just have fast cars take the plot. There has something going on behind it. It takes itself too seriously and is no fun. Creator/PaulWalker might need checking for termites judging by his acting. And the film is already heavily dated and only eight years after its release due to its migraine-inducing soundtrack. The new movie, '''Fast & Furious''', '''Film/FastAndFurious''', is being depicted as a return to form for the series. From terrible to just plain mediocre. Yeah, just some comeback. Now if you excuse me, I need to go rev my engine."''



->''"I mean my god, this is a terrible movie. Spectacularly bad writing is everywhere! The fight scenes are short and poorly done. The performances and casting is atrocious. And for a supposedly faithful adaptation, [[AdaptationDecay they changed pretty much everything]]! Oh, and there were only seven characters from the games. What surprised me about the movie is that it takes itself so goddamn seriously. At least [[Film/StreetFighter the first attempt]] was a bit of fun. I mean, who the hell was calling out for a [[DarkerAndEdgier dark and gritty]] version of Franchise/StreetFighter? The tone is so erratically different, that if you changed the name and title, this would be a generic martial arts movie. All the characters have been stripped of everything but their most basic traits, or in Rose's case, not even that."''

to:

->''"I mean my god, this is a terrible movie. Spectacularly bad writing is everywhere! The fight scenes are short and poorly done. The performances and casting is atrocious. And for a supposedly faithful adaptation, [[AdaptationDecay they changed pretty much everything]]! Oh, and there were only seven characters from the games. What surprised me about the movie is that it takes itself so goddamn seriously. At least [[Film/StreetFighter the first attempt]] was a bit of fun. I mean, who the hell was calling out for a [[DarkerAndEdgier dark and gritty]] version of Franchise/StreetFighter? ''Franchise/StreetFighter''? The tone is so erratically different, that if you changed the name and title, this would be a generic martial arts movie. All the characters have been stripped of everything but their most basic traits, or in Rose's case, not even that."''



->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the Die Hard well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this [[{{Jerkass}} massively unlikable wanker]] that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially as they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''

to:

->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the Die Hard ''Die Hard'' well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarassment embarrassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this [[{{Jerkass}} massively unlikable wanker]] that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially as if they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''
23rd Oct '16 3:18:14 PM DeepthroatGhoul
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->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the Die Hard well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this [[{{Jerkass}} massively unlikable wanker] that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially as they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''

to:

->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the Die Hard well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this [[{{Jerkass}} massively unlikable wanker] wanker]] that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially as they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''
23rd Oct '16 3:17:42 PM DeepthroatGhoul
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->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the Die Hard well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this massively unlikable wanker that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially as they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''

to:

->''"Even as a fan of the [[Franchise/DieHard franchise]], '''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''' is not only a disgrace to its namesake, it's also one of the worst big-budget action movies in recent memory. As much as it pains me to say this, it's abundantly clear that the Die Hard well has completely dried up by this point. There is barely the faintest echo of the [[Film/DieHard original classic]] in this soulless embarassment that has virtually no connection to the earlier movies, but damages it by association. Even without the name, this is an incompetent action movie, as director Creator/JohnMoore's awful camera work and editing turns the whole film into a headache, the villains are lame and thinly-drawn, and the cobbled-together script is clearly an afterthought between mind-numbing set pieces. But the worst thing about the film is [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]] himself, who's phoned-in and disinterested reprisal of his StarMakingRole sees him barely show up as a sidekick in his own movie to Creator/JaiCourtney's lunkhead replacement, and John [=McClane=]'s become this [[{{Jerkass}} massively unlikable wanker wanker] that gets his kicks out of hurting people, especially as they don't speak his language. '''This''' is radioactive waste that makes the [[Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard fourth film]] look like the first by comparison! In the end, it's a good day to put this series out of its own misery!"''
19th Oct '16 12:57:18 AM erforce
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-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Transmorphers}}''

->''"So what have we learned today? We learned that a PG-13 [[Film/AlienVsPredator movie]] for two R-rated horror [[Franchise/{{Alien}} franc]][[Franchise/{{Predator}} hises]] doesn't cut it, the human characters need to be fleshed out if we want to give a damn, and finally, and by far most important, that these versus movies '''never''' give us a clear victor, because that would mean pissing fans off, and not giving them enough room to make a sequel, and money means stabbing the fans in the backside as many times as possible, of which this is a particularly shameless example. It's a spit in the face of both franchises and everything they stood for! The fans frankly deserved better."''
-->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/AlienVsPredator''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Transmorphers}}''

->''"So what have we learned today? We learned that a PG-13 [[Film/AlienVsPredator [[Film/AVPAlienVsPredator movie]] for two R-rated horror [[Franchise/{{Alien}} franc]][[Franchise/{{Predator}} hises]] doesn't cut it, the human characters need to be fleshed out if we want to give a damn, and finally, and by far most important, that these versus movies '''never''' give us a clear victor, because that would mean pissing fans off, and not giving them enough room to make a sequel, and money means stabbing the fans in the backside as many times as possible, of which this is a particularly shameless example. It's a spit in the face of both franchises and everything they stood for! The fans frankly deserved better."''
-->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/AlienVsPredator''
''Film/AVPAlienVsPredator''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/StreetFighterTheLegendOfChunLi''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/StreetFighterTheLegendOfChunLi''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/MegaSharkVsGiantOctopus''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/MegaSharkVsGiantOctopus''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Driven}}''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Driven}}''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/FatSlags''

->''"'''2 Fast 2 Furious''' is too lame and too stupid to be enjoyable. It's clear that this was a script that was hastily written to cash in on the [[Film/TheFastAndTheFurious first film]], and is extremely limited by the fact that almost none of the cast return. It already has '''barely anything''' to do with street racing by this point, it uses CGI cars instead of the real thing, it's so dipped in neon, I thought I was watching '''Film/BatmanForever'''! Creator/PaulWalker is his usual unbelievably bland self, and Tyrese Gibson is an irritating and inadequete replacement for Creator/VinDiesel. The only humour this movie has is the [[HoYay macho subtext]], which the movie lays on so much, I'm almost convinced the filmmakers did it intentionally. At least '''that''' makes it more enjoyable to watch than its predecessor."''
-->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''2 Fast 2 Furious''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/FatSlags''

->''"'''2 ->''"'''[[Film/TwoFastTwoFurious 2 Fast 2 Furious''' Furious]]''' is too lame and too stupid to be enjoyable. It's clear that this was a script that was hastily written to cash in on the [[Film/TheFastAndTheFurious first film]], and is extremely limited by the fact that almost none of the cast return. It already has '''barely anything''' to do with street racing by this point, it uses CGI cars instead of the real thing, it's so dipped in neon, I thought I was watching '''Film/BatmanForever'''! Creator/PaulWalker is his usual unbelievably bland self, and Tyrese Gibson is an irritating and inadequete replacement for Creator/VinDiesel. The only humour this movie has is the [[HoYay macho subtext]], which the movie lays on so much, I'm almost convinced the filmmakers did it intentionally. At least '''that''' makes it more enjoyable to watch than its predecessor."''
-->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''2 ''[[Film/TwoFastTwoFurious 2 Fast 2 Furious''
Furious]]''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Gamer}}''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Gamer}}''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/GhostsOfMars''.

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/GhostsOfMars''.



-->--'''Film Brain''', on the ending of ''Film/TheCavern''.

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on the ending of ''Film/TheCavern''.



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/TheCavern''.

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/TheCavern''.



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/DieAnotherDay''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/DieAnotherDay''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Stealth}}''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Stealth}}''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/DeckTheHalls''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/DeckTheHalls''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Prometheus}}''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/{{Prometheus}}''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Breaking Wind''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Breaking Wind''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on Costa in ''Film/ProjectX''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on Costa in ''Film/ProjectX''



-->--'''Film Brain''', on ''Film/JackAndJill''

to:

-->--'''Film -->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Film/JackAndJill''



-->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace''

to:

-->-- '''Film Brain''', on ''Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace''
''Film/LawnmowerMan2BeyondCyberspace''


Added DiffLines:

14th Oct '16 9:33:53 PM Ferot_Dreadnaught
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->''"'''The Cavern''' not only surpasses '''Bear''' as the worst horror film I've ever seen, but may well be the worst film period. I reviewed racist, sexist, unfunny, and downright unpleasant films before, but this is a special kind of film: '''[[UpToEleven It's unwatchable]]'''. I don't care if it's low-budget, that doesn't mean [[TheyJustDidntCare you forget basic principles of lighting or cinematography]]. I know the film's creators though they were being iterative, but that's because [[WhatAnIdiot no one was dumb enough]] to do it before. The film [[SpecialEffectsFailure has an ugly, over-produced digital look]], the script is [[IdiotPlot woefully incomprehensible nonsense]], and the ending is [[GratuitousRape reprehensible]]. Even at 80 minutes, this is sheer torture that makes your home movies look professional by comparison. Every single copy of '''The Cavern''' should be thrown in the deepest, darkest pit imaginable, so that it never blights a TV screen EVER AGAIN."''

to:

->''"'''The Cavern''' not only surpasses '''Bear''' as the worst horror film I've ever seen, but may well be the worst film period. I reviewed racist, sexist, unfunny, and downright unpleasant films before, but this is a special kind of film: '''[[UpToEleven It's unwatchable]]'''. I don't care if it's low-budget, that doesn't mean [[TheyJustDidntCare you forget basic principles of lighting or cinematography]].cinematography. I know the film's creators though they were being iterative, but that's because [[WhatAnIdiot no one was dumb enough]] to do it before. The film [[SpecialEffectsFailure has an ugly, over-produced digital look]], the script is [[IdiotPlot woefully incomprehensible nonsense]], and the ending is [[GratuitousRape reprehensible]]. Even at 80 minutes, this is sheer torture that makes your home movies look professional by comparison. Every single copy of '''The Cavern''' should be thrown in the deepest, darkest pit imaginable, so that it never blights a TV screen EVER AGAIN."''



->''"'''Breaking Wind: Part 1''' is one of the worst spoof movies ever made and definitely one of the worst comedies I've seen in general too. [[ShallowParody It has nothing to say about its topic]], which it hates to the point of being dismissive. All the jokes [[DudeNotFunny are below the belt]] and if they thought this was at all edgy or adult, then they should be downright ashamed of themselves. In addition, the terrible direction and acting oversell every single repetitive joke, to the point that it becomes almost unbearable. Craig Moss needs to stay away from doing anymore of these spoof movies, because he's frankly so abysmal that the art of comedy needs to file a restraining order. And really, if you want to laugh at '''Literature/{{Twilight}}''', go watch the first, second, and fifth films since they're pretty much unintentional comedies anyway. All watching this does is award the filmmakers [[TheyJustDidntCare lack of effort]] and encourage them further. And pray they don't make a part two. Or to put it in a way that this movie frankly deserves... (Film Brain starts BlowingARaspberry [[FlippingTheBird while giving a two-fingered gesture at the camera]])"''

to:

->''"'''Breaking Wind: Part 1''' is one of the worst spoof movies ever made and definitely one of the worst comedies I've seen in general too. [[ShallowParody It has nothing to say about its topic]], which it hates to the point of being dismissive. All the jokes [[DudeNotFunny are below the belt]] and if they thought this was at all edgy or adult, then they should be downright ashamed of themselves. In addition, the terrible direction and acting oversell every single repetitive joke, to the point that it becomes almost unbearable. Craig Moss needs to stay away from doing anymore of these spoof movies, because he's frankly so abysmal that the art of comedy needs to file a restraining order. And really, if you want to laugh at '''Literature/{{Twilight}}''', go watch the first, second, and fifth films since they're pretty much unintentional comedies anyway. All watching this does is award the filmmakers [[TheyJustDidntCare lack of effort]] effort and encourage them further. And pray they don't make a part two. Or to put it in a way that this movie frankly deserves... (Film Brain starts BlowingARaspberry [[FlippingTheBird while giving a two-fingered gesture at the camera]])"''



->''"'''Project X''' is a detestable little film, and that's frankly if you can even call it that [[ExcusePlot but it barely has enough plot to fill a 2-minute trailer, let alone a feature film]]. What passes for a script here probably amounts to about 10 pages tops, half of which are references to much superior films in the genre. Every single thing about the movie is ugly, [[DarknessInducedAudienceApathy from the nasty pustules passing for characters]], including [[TheScrappy Costa, possibly one of the worst seen on screen in the last ten years]], [[SpecialEffectsFailure to the camerawork due to its badly executed found footage gimmick]]. But by far the most ill-judged thing is its tone. [[TheyJustDidntCare This could have made a terrific social parody if they actually showed the consequences]], but the film depressingly plays it straight, and actually [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop endorses and celebrates the increasing depravity, and even encourages emulation to top the partying bar]]. And to cap it all, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the party just looks overcrowded and crappy]]. This is basically a vile film that seems to be aimed at [[{{Sociopath}} sociopaths]] and [[{{Jerkass}} pricks]], and is skin-crawling for all the wrong reasons. I mean if you want to go to a party, you don't have to live vicariously through this movie. Just to go one. I guarantee you'll have a much better time."''

to:

->''"'''Project X''' is a detestable little film, and that's frankly if you can even call it that [[ExcusePlot but it barely has enough plot to fill a 2-minute trailer, let alone a feature film]]. What passes for a script here probably amounts to about 10 pages tops, half of which are references to much superior films in the genre. Every single thing about the movie is ugly, [[DarknessInducedAudienceApathy from the nasty pustules passing for characters]], including [[TheScrappy Costa, possibly one of the worst seen on screen in the last ten years]], [[SpecialEffectsFailure to the camerawork due to its badly executed found footage gimmick]]. But by far the most ill-judged thing is its tone. [[TheyJustDidntCare This could have made a terrific social parody if they actually showed the consequences]], consequences, but the film depressingly plays it straight, and actually [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop endorses and celebrates the increasing depravity, and even encourages emulation to top the partying bar]]. And to cap it all, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the party just looks overcrowded and crappy]]. This is basically a vile film that seems to be aimed at [[{{Sociopath}} sociopaths]] and [[{{Jerkass}} pricks]], and is skin-crawling for all the wrong reasons. I mean if you want to go to a party, you don't have to live vicariously through this movie. Just to go one. I guarantee you'll have a much better time."''
6th Oct '16 9:28:54 AM DeepthroatGhoul
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->''"[[Film/TheTimeMachine2002 This]] certainly isn't the Creator/HGWells [[Literature/TheTimeMachine novel]] in '''any shape of form'''. It's not even that I have a problem with, it's the fact it's not even Wells' message! At least keep intact the original spirit. They simply made some crappy little sci-fi flick about time travel, and slapped a name on it. It's a terrible, terrible adaptation, a true bastardisation! The issue is not the film was remade, but the fact that the film had so much potential. This isn't even the worst film featured on this programme by far, but it's still a bad movie just managing to turn a literary great into a boring and idiotic action film! H.G. should be doing cartwheels in his grave about now!"''

to:

->''"[[Film/TheTimeMachine2002 This]] certainly isn't the Creator/HGWells [[Literature/TheTimeMachine novel]] in '''any shape of form'''. It's not even that I have a problem with, it's the fact it's not even Wells' message! At least keep intact the original spirit. They simply made some crappy little sci-fi flick about time travel, and slapped a name on it. It's a terrible, terrible adaptation, a true bastardisation! The issue is not the film was remade, but the fact that the film had so much potential. This isn't even the worst film featured on this programme by far, but it's still a bad movie just managing to turn a literary great into a boring and idiotic action film! H.G. should be doing cartwheels in his grave about now!"''now! Simon Wells hasn't directed anything since, although he is working on an animated feature out next year called '''[[WesternAnimation/MarsNeedsMoms Mars Need Moms]]'''. Let's hope it's nothing like '''[[WesternAnimation/WereBackADinosaursStory We're Back!]]''' Personally, I wish I could time travel so I can prevent this movie from existing, but unfortunately, I've got to settle for [[Series/QuantumLeap quantum leaping]]."''
4th Oct '16 12:21:30 AM DeepthroatGhoul
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->''"[[Film/TheTimeMachine2002 This]] certainly isn't the Creator/HGWells [[Literature/TheTimeMachine novel]] in '''any shape of form'''. It's not even that I have a problem with, it's the fact it's not even Wells' message! At least keep intact the original spirit. They simply made some crappy little sci-fi flick about time travel, and slapped a name on it. It's a terrible, terrible adaptation, a true bastardisation! The issue is not the film is remade, but the fact that the film had so much potential. This isn't even the worst film featured on this programme by far, but it's still a bad movie just managing to turn a literary great into a boring and idiotic action film! H.G. should be doing cartwheels in his grave about now!"''

to:

->''"[[Film/TheTimeMachine2002 This]] certainly isn't the Creator/HGWells [[Literature/TheTimeMachine novel]] in '''any shape of form'''. It's not even that I have a problem with, it's the fact it's not even Wells' message! At least keep intact the original spirit. They simply made some crappy little sci-fi flick about time travel, and slapped a name on it. It's a terrible, terrible adaptation, a true bastardisation! The issue is not the film is was remade, but the fact that the film had so much potential. This isn't even the worst film featured on this programme by far, but it's still a bad movie just managing to turn a literary great into a boring and idiotic action film! H.G. should be doing cartwheels in his grave about now!"''
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