History PlayingWith / ArsonMurderAndJayWalking

* '''Subverted''': "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he leaves the toilet seat up...then he beat his last girlfriend with the said toilet seat."

** "[[BreadEggsMilkSquick He leaves the toilet seat up, he wears a hat at the dinner table, and he supplies terrorists with plutonium.]]"

** "He's committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and he jaywalks/

First, you must cross a mountain, then you must cross a river, then you must go back to ArsonMurderAndJaywalking. Then you must fly around the world, then you must [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife browse TV tropes,]] and then you must kill your pet cat and sacrifice it, then go outside and soak up some rays, [[OverlyLongGag and then you must go to Mars.]] Make sure to take a Mars bar with you, too, and a knife. Oh, and also, can you wash the dishes? There's blood on them.

First, you must cross a mountain, then you must cross a river, then you must go back to ArsonMurderAndJaywalking. [[SubvertedTrope Then you must fly around the world,]] [[DoubleSubversion then you must]] [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife browse TV tropes,]] [[RunningGag and then you must kill your pet cat and sacrifice it, then go outside and soak up some rays,]] [[OverlyLongGag and then you must go to Mars. Make sure to take a Mars bar with you, too, and a knife. Oh, and also, can you wash the dishes? There's blood on them.]]

** "[[BigBad Emperor Evulz]], YouMonster! You want to bring the EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt YouKilledMyFather and you mocked [[TheLancer Alice]]."

* '''Zig Zagged''': "...and he also beat his last boyfriend. ''And'' he has a silly haircut! ''And'' I think he does heroin! ''And''..."

** "[[BigBad Emperor Evulz]], YouMonster! You want to [[end the world as we know it EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt]], YouKilledMyFather and you mocked [[TheLancer Alice]]."

** "Emperor Evulz, YouMonster! You want to result in EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt, YouKilledMyFather and you mocked [[TheLancer Alice]]."

* '''Played For Horror''': Alice is a psychotic KnightTemplar who would behead Bob [[AllCrimesAreEqual either]] because he jaywalked or because he shot his neighbor. She still lists Bob's crimes in order of alleged least priority because there is something about Bob going "wait a second, you're gonna kill me because I ''jaywalked''?" that makes the act more sweet for her.

* '''Lampshaded''': "Wow, you've really don't have your priorities in order."

** The "and he wears a silly hat" wasn't a crime but distinguished Bob from the other escaped mass murders on the FBIs most wanted list. It sounds trivial but it answers the question of "which one" quickly for those who don't recognize Bob's generic name.

* '''Zig Zagged''': "...and he also beat his last [[BiTheWay boyfriend]]. ''And'' he has a silly haircut! ''And'' I think he does heroin! ''And''..."

** "Emperor Evulz, YouMonster! You want to result EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt, YouKilledMyFather and you mocked [[TheLancer Alice]]."

* '''Subverted''': "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he leaves the toilet seat up...then he beat his last girlfriend with said toilet seat."

First you must cross a mountain, then you must cross a river, then you must go back to ArsonMurderAndJaywalking. [[SubvertedTrope Then you must fly around the world,]] [[DoubleSubversion then you must]] [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife browse TV tropes,]] [[RunningGag and then you must kill your pet cat and sacrifice it, then go outside and soak up some rays,]] [[OverlyLongGag and the you must go to Mars. Make sure to take a Mars bar with you, too, and a knife. Oh, and also, can you wash the dishes? There's blood on them.]]

* '''Parodied''': Carol and Diane are listening as Alice lists off her reasons. [[LawOfDisproportionateResponse They react with casual indifference as the allegations the he drinks a lot and cheats, but react with incredible shock when they find out he leaves the toilet seat up]].

* '''Parodied''': Carol and Diane are listening as Alice lists off her reasons. They react with casual indifference as the allegations the he drinks a lot and cheats, but [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne react with incredible shock when they find out he leaves the toilet seat up]].

** Alice lists reasons why Bob is awesome, saying "He saves lives, he is never rude, and he makes great pasta."

* '''Averted''': All of the items on the list are equally bad, or equally trivial problems.

** BreadEggsMilkSquick

** "[[BreadEggsMilkSquick He leaves the toilet seat up, he wears a hat at the dinner table, and he supplies terrorists with plutonium.]]"

* '''Parodied''': Carol and Diane are listening as Alice lists off her reasons. They react with casual indifference as the allegations the he drinks a lot and cheats, but react with incredible shock when they find out he leaves the toilet seat up.

* '''Zig Zagged''': "...and he beat his last [[BiTheWay boyfriend]]. ''And'' he has a silly haircut! ''And'' I think he does heroin! ''And''..."

** "Well, we're almost out of comedy gags... wait! I have an idea!"

* '''Zig Zagged''': "...and he beat his first girlfriend. ''And'' he has a silly haircut! ''And'' I think he does heroin! ''And''..."

** "Well, we're almost out of comedy gags...how about the standard 'long list' where the last item is weak?"