History Main / YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou

'''Sinbad''': Alright, here goes. So I meet Eris, the Goddess of Chaos. She's got a major crush on me, and she invited me back to her place.\\

* In an episode of ''Series/FullHouse'', Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) Music/ElvisPresley, and when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.

* In ''VisualNovel/ZeroTimeDilemmma'', Carlos used "SHIFT" to send his consciousness between different versions of his body in different timelines, and [[spoiler:ends up in the timeline where he killed Akane (in self-defense, following a misunderstanding over Junpei's murder). When Eric brings up that they all know he killed Akane, Carlos tries to explain that even though that might be the case it "isn't what he did right now". He responds with "I doubt you would believe me if I tried explaining it", when Eric asks what he's babbling about. He does try telling them, to which both Sigma and Diana understand straight away due to having the same SHIFT ability. Whereas Eric continues to think the three of them are sprouting crap.]]

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

** Subverted in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS34E12DeathInHeaven "Death in Heaven"]]. When Osgood asks who Missy is, the Doctor uses this line -- except Osgood's already guessed that she's the latest incarnation of TheMaster. "That was fairly quick."

* ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsRebels'': In [[Recap/StarWarsRebelsS3E19ZeroHour "Zero Hour"]], Kanan says this by way of explanation for why he never told Hera, or anyone else except Ezra, about the Bendu, a mysterious and extremely powerful Force-wielder who lives on Atollon.
* ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003 TMNT (2003)]]'': In [[Recap/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003S1E3AttackOfTheMousers "Attack of the Mousers,"]] Master Splinter is (understandably) afraid that April O'Neil will tell people about the existence of himself and his four sons, but April points out that even if she did tell anyone, they probably wouldn't believe her--even Leo and Mikey agree that April does have a point.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'' short ''Tweet and Sour'', Sylvester is threatened with being sent to the violin string factory if he's caught trying to eat Tweety again. After spending the rest of the cartoon trying to save Tweety from another cat, Granny walks in ''just'' as Sylvester was putting him ''back'' in his cage. The cat stammers trying to explain, but he then gives up, saying "What's the use? She'll ''never'' believe me."

** Subverted in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS34E12DeathInHeaven "Death in Heaven"]]. When Osgood asks who "Missy" is, the Doctor uses this line -- except Osgood's already guessed that she's the latest incarnation of TheMaster. "That was fairly quick."

* In the ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueUnlimited'' episode "Double Date", Green Arrow asks [[CloudCuckoolander The Question]] why he's helping [[VigilanteMan Huntress]] track down the man who killed her parents. Question responds with this, and everyone just assumes he says it because his motives are something insane. (It turns out he's just trying to impress Huntress.)

* During the final level of Crysis Nomad finally meets with Psycho again, who had been supporting him throughout the game up until they were separated, and sees that he has secured an alien life-form for the U.S Navy to study. Nomad asks Psycho how he got the alien off the island and onto a Naval vessel Psycho responds saying, "Long story. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." However there was a DLC for the original PC version where we do in fact see how Psycho got it.

** ''ForrestGump''

** It's a common reply by the Doctor himself in regards to questions like "How did you get here?", "How do you know that?", "What makes you think our benevolent leader (who is actually the Master) is up to something bad?" and so on. The few times he does tell, people predictably don't believe him.

* ''WesternAnimation/SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas'': After Sinbad's encounter with Eris (while in an air bubble under water), his crew scoop him up back up and onto the ship.

{{Beat}}\\

[[folder:Film]]

A common variation (or addition) is: "I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't seen/lived/heard/witnessed/experienced it." And as the examples show, there are several permutations of this sentiment. In short, it's the way a character avoids the CassandraTruth situation.

* In ''Series/PushingDaisies'', Chuck tells Ned that Olive wouldn't believe that Ned had brought Chuck back to life even if she told her. Ned asks her how she knows that, and she says, "because I told her and she wouldn't believe me."
* ''Series/{{Bewitched}}'' episode "Daddy Comes to Visit"
* ''Series/WarOfTheWorlds'' episode "The Resurrection"

* At the end of the classic ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode "The Three Doctors", a man is zapped back to his small English village after being accidentally sucked into one of the show's typical plots. His wife appears and starts peppering him with questions about where he disappeared to. He listens stoically, then grunts "You'd never believe me, woman. Supper ready?" and stomps into his house.
** It's also a common reply by the Doctor himself in regards to questions like "How did you get here?", "How do you know that?", "What makes you think our benevolent leader (who is actually The Master) is up to something bad?" and so on. The few times he does tell, people predictably don't believe him.
** Subverted in "Death in Heaven". When Osgood asks who "Missy" is, the Doctor uses this line - except Osgood's already guessed that she's the latest incarnation of TheMaster. "That was fairly quick."

* In an episode of ''Series/FullHouse,'' Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) Music/ElvisPresley, and when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.

* ''Series/{{Sliders}}'' had this nearly every episode, when they had to convince people in whatever AlternateUniverse they were visiting of where they came from.
* ''Series/EarlyEdition'' had this fairly often too, when Gary Hobson, a man who gets tomorrow's newspaper today, is asked how he knows that things are going to happen before they do.

[[folder:Literature]]
* A variation: In Literature/TheBible, Luke 22, the arrested Jesus is interrogated and asked to confirm that he claims to be the Christ. He answers with pretty much this phrase. If Our Lord being a DeadpanSnarker distresses you, wait 'til you find the puns.
* A slight variation is said by Shay Bourne to Father Michael in Jodi Picoult's ''Change of Heart'':
-->They moved to the far side of the room, and I leaned closer to Shay.
-->"Are you okay?"
-->"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
-->"Oh, try me."
* Happens in ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'' novel ''Changes'', where the [[GoodCopBadCop Good Cop]] is questioning Harry about a building that was bombed. Harry delivers this line when asked if he knows who did it, then the two change subject and talk a while before the cop decides he's innocent and lets him go. Before Harry leaves, the cop asks who really did it, to which he responds "Vampires," adding "I told you you wouldn't believe me" a minute later when the cop goes through surprise and disbelief.
** Note that said cop was a LivingLieDetector, so he realizes Harry actually believes his answer is the truth.
* In ''[[Literature/{{Ravirn}} WebMage]]'', Ravirn is placed under a "Cassandra Curse" that prevents people from believing anything he says about the BigBad. When Eris tries to question him about a related matter, he tells her that she wouldn't believe him if he told her -- [[CassandraTruth which she naturally doesn't believe]].
* In ''The Gatekeeper: The Gate Contracts'', George Green has to explain to his boss what happened with Lynn in the Men's restroom:
-->'''Dr. Sign''': Okay George, let's hear it.\\
'''George''': Lynn and I went to the cafeteria to eat. I told her to wait a minute, I had to use the bathroom. I went in and used the urinal as someone else came into the bathroom. When I turned around I discovered that she was the someone else. She proceeded to make various cooing sounds and I attempted to tell her this was inappropriate. She unzipped my fly, removed my penis from my pants and got on her knees. I put my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to push her away. At that moment the [campus police] officer came into the bathroom." I smiled a little. "I'm sorry, Dr. Sign, I shouldn't be smiling about this. I know this is serious, but I got a mental picture in my head of what he saw and trying to explain to him it wasn't what he thought it was. I looked at what was happening. I said to the officer that I wasn't going to say a word to him, if I was him and I told him what I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
[[/folder]]

%%* ''SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas''
* ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooAndTheGoblinKing''. At the end of the episode, the [[spoiler:benevolent]] Goblin King casts a spell that erases memory of the night's events from everyone but Shaggy and Scooby. When the rest of the gang asks what happened, they use the trope.

* ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003 TMNT (2003)]]'': In [[Recap/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003S1E3AttackOfTheMousers "Attack of the Mousers,"]] Master Splinter is (understandably) afraid that April O'Neil will tell people about the existence of himself and his four sons, but April points out that even if she did tell anyone, they probably wouldn't believe her--even Leo and Mikey agree that April does have a point.

->'''Emily:''' Honesty is the best policy!\\
'''Ash:''' Honesty would get both of us put in an asylum.
-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}''

* In ''PushingDaisies'', Chuck tells Ned that Olive wouldn't believe that Ned had brought Chuck back to life even if she told her. Ned asks her how she knows that, and she says, "because I told her and she wouldn't believe me."

* In an episode of ''FullHouse'', Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) ElvisPresley, and when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.

* ''{{Doug}}'' episode "Doug Takes the Case/Doug's Secret Song"
* ''SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas''

* In the ''JusticeLeagueUnlimited'' episode "Double Date", Green Arrow asks [[CloudCuckoolander The Question]] why he's helping [[VigilanteMan Huntress]] track down the man who killed her parents. Question responds with this, and everyone just assumes he says it because his motives are something insane. (It turns out he's just trying to impress Huntress.)

* ''TheFinalCountdown'' uses the, "They're never going to believe it," variation as the USS ''Nimitz'' is returning to Pearl Harbor, having just spent about a week in 1941 thanks to TimeTravel.

* In ''Fanfic/KyonBigDamnHero'', after [[VisualNovel/HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi Rika Fuurude]] convinces [[LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya Kyon]], [[spoiler:her nephew]], to trust her and tell her his story about the supernatural by her telling him her [[AnyoneCanDie own]] [[GroundhogDayLoop supernatural]] [[EverybodyLives experiences]] he explains that his adventures, while true, are still difficult to believe.

->'''Emily:''' Honesty is the best policy!
->'''Ash:''' Honesty would get both of us put in an asylum.

The opposite is CassandraTruth, where Alice ''does'' tell Bob, and Bob doesn't buy it. Related is SarcasticConfession, where Alice tells Bob in a sarcastic manner to prevent him from taking it seriously. Contrast SuspiciouslySpecificDenial.

* In ''Fanfic/KyonBigDamnHero'', after [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi Rika Fuurude]] convinces [[LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya Kyon]], [[spoiler:her nephew]], to trust her and tell her his story about the supernatural by her telling him her [[AnyoneCanDie own]] [[GroundhogDayLoop supernatural]] [[EverybodyLives experiences]] he explains that his adventures, while true, are still difficult to believe.