History Main / YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou

27th Jul '17 3:38:53 PM ngh93
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* ''WesternAnimation/SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas'': After Sinbad's encounter with Eris (while in an air bubble under water), his crew scoop him up back up and onto the ship.

to:

* ''WesternAnimation/SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas'': After Sinbad's encounter with Eris (while in an air bubble under water), underwater), his crew scoop him up back up and onto the ship.
27th Jul '17 3:38:08 PM ngh93
Is there an issue? Send a Message


{{Beat}}\\

to:

{{Beat}}\\''{{Beat}}''\\
27th Jul '17 3:37:03 PM ngh93
Is there an issue? Send a Message


[[folder:Film]]

to:

[[folder:Film]][[folder:Film--Animation]]
*''WesternAnimation/SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas'': After Sinbad's encounter with Eris (while in an air bubble under water), his crew scoop him up back up and onto the ship.
-->'''Kale''': What happened down there?\\
'''Sinbad''': You wouldn't believe me if I told you.\\
'''Kale''': Try me.\\
'''Sinbad''': Alright, here goes. So I meet Eris, the Goddess of Chaos. She's got a major crush on me, and she invited me back to her place.\\
{{Beat}}\\
'''Kale''': Ha! That's a good one! Goddess of Chaos? Oh, I'm writing that down.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film--Live-Action]]
3rd Jun '17 10:57:26 AM MarsJenkar
Is there an issue? Send a Message


A common variation (or addition) is: "I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't seen/lived/heard/witnessed/experienced it." And as the examples show, there are several permutations of this sentiment. In short, it's the way a character avoids the CassandraTruth situation.

to:

A common variation (or addition) is: "I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't seen/lived/heard/witnessed/experienced it." And as the examples show, there are several permutations of this sentiment. In short, it's the way a character avoids the CassandraTruth situation.situation, or at least tries to--the questioner may insist on hearing the story anyway.
9th Apr '17 6:49:24 PM AthenaBlue
Is there an issue? Send a Message


[[folder:Literature]]
* A variation: In ''Literature/TheBible'', Luke 22, the arrested Jesus is interrogated and asked to confirm that he claims to be the Christ. He answers with pretty much this phrase. If Our Lord being a DeadpanSnarker distresses you, wait 'til you find the puns.
* A slight variation is said by Shay Bourne to Father Michael in Jodi Picoult's ''Change of Heart'':
-->They moved to the far side of the room, and I leaned closer to Shay.
-->"Are you okay?"
-->"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
-->"Oh, try me."
* Happens in ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'' novel ''Changes'', where the [[GoodCopBadCop Good Cop]] is questioning Harry about a building that was bombed. Harry delivers this line when asked if he knows who did it, then the two change subject and talk a while before the cop decides he's innocent and lets him go. Before Harry leaves, the cop asks who really did it, to which he responds "Vampires," adding "I told you you wouldn't believe me" a minute later when the cop goes through surprise and disbelief.
** Note that said cop was a LivingLieDetector, so he realizes Harry actually believes his answer is the truth.
* In ''The Gatekeeper: The Gate Contracts'', George Green has to explain to his boss what happened with Lynn in the Men's restroom:
-->'''Dr. Sign''': Okay George, let's hear it.\\
'''George''': Lynn and I went to the cafeteria to eat. I told her to wait a minute, I had to use the bathroom. I went in and used the urinal as someone else came into the bathroom. When I turned around I discovered that she was the someone else. She proceeded to make various cooing sounds and I attempted to tell her this was inappropriate. She unzipped my fly, removed my penis from my pants and got on her knees. I put my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to push her away. At that moment the [campus police] officer came into the bathroom." I smiled a little. "I'm sorry, Dr. Sign, I shouldn't be smiling about this. I know this is serious, but I got a mental picture in my head of what he saw and trying to explain to him it wasn't what he thought it was. I looked at what was happening. I said to the officer that I wasn't going to say a word to him, if I was him and I told him what I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
* In ''[[Literature/{{Ravirn}} WebMage]]'', Ravirn is placed under a "Cassandra Curse" that prevents people from believing anything he says about the BigBad. When Eris tries to question him about a related matter, he tells her that she wouldn't believe him if he told her -- [[CassandraTruth which she naturally doesn't believe]].
[[/folder]]



* In ''Series/PushingDaisies'', Chuck tells Ned that Olive wouldn't believe that Ned had brought Chuck back to life even if she told her. Ned asks her how she knows that, and she says, "because I told her and she wouldn't believe me."
* ''Series/{{Bewitched}}'' episode "Daddy Comes to Visit"
* ''Series/WarOfTheWorlds'' episode "The Resurrection"

to:

* In ''Series/PushingDaisies'', Chuck tells Ned that Olive wouldn't believe that Ned had brought Chuck back to life even if she told her. Ned asks her how she knows that, and she says, "because I told her and she wouldn't believe me."
*
%%* ''Series/{{Bewitched}}'' episode "Daddy Comes to Visit"
* ''Series/WarOfTheWorlds'' episode "The Resurrection"
Visit"



* At the end of the classic ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode "The Three Doctors", a man is zapped back to his small English village after being accidentally sucked into one of the show's typical plots. His wife appears and starts peppering him with questions about where he disappeared to. He listens stoically, then grunts "You'd never believe me, woman. Supper ready?" and stomps into his house.
** It's also a common reply by the Doctor himself in regards to questions like "How did you get here?", "How do you know that?", "What makes you think our benevolent leader (who is actually The Master) is up to something bad?" and so on. The few times he does tell, people predictably don't believe him.
** Subverted in "Death in Heaven". When Osgood asks who "Missy" is, the Doctor uses this line - except Osgood's already guessed that she's the latest incarnation of TheMaster. "That was fairly quick."

to:

* ''Series/DoctorWho'':
** It's a common reply by the Doctor himself in regards to questions like "How did you get here?", "How do you know that?", "What makes you think our benevolent leader (who is actually the Master) is up to something bad?" and so on. The few times he does tell, people predictably don't believe him.
**
At the end of the classic ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode [[Recap/DoctorWhoS10E1TheThreeDoctors "The Three Doctors", Doctors"]], a man is zapped back to his small English village after being accidentally sucked into one of the show's typical plots. His wife appears and starts peppering him with questions about where he disappeared to. He listens stoically, then grunts "You'd never believe me, woman. Supper ready?" and stomps into his house.
** It's also a common reply by the Doctor himself in regards to questions like "How did you get here?", "How do you know that?", "What makes you think our benevolent leader (who is actually The Master) is up to something bad?" and so on. The few times he does tell, people predictably don't believe him.
** Subverted in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS34E12DeathInHeaven "Death in Heaven". Heaven"]]. When Osgood asks who "Missy" is, the Doctor uses this line - -- except Osgood's already guessed that she's the latest incarnation of TheMaster. "That was fairly quick.""
* ''Series/EarlyEdition'' had this fairly often too, when Gary Hobson, a man who gets tomorrow's newspaper today, is asked how he knows that things are going to happen before they do.
* In an episode of ''Series/FullHouse'', Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) Music/ElvisPresley, and when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.



* In an episode of ''Series/FullHouse,'' Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) Music/ElvisPresley, and when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.

to:

* In an episode of ''Series/FullHouse,'' Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) Music/ElvisPresley, ''Series/PushingDaisies'', Chuck tells Ned that Olive wouldn't believe that Ned had brought Chuck back to life even if she told her. Ned asks her how she knows that, and she says, "because I told her and she wouldn't believe me."
* ''Series/{{Sliders}}'' had this nearly every episode,
when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says they had to convince people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.in whatever AlternateUniverse they were visiting of where they came from.



* ''Series/{{Sliders}}'' had this nearly every episode, when they had to convince people in whatever AlternateUniverse they were visiting of where they came from.
* ''Series/EarlyEdition'' had this fairly often too, when Gary Hobson, a man who gets tomorrow's newspaper today, is asked how he knows that things are going to happen before they do.

to:

* ''Series/{{Sliders}}'' had this nearly every episode, when they had to convince people in whatever AlternateUniverse they were visiting of where they came from.
* ''Series/EarlyEdition'' had this fairly often too, when Gary Hobson, a man who gets tomorrow's newspaper today, is asked how he knows that things are going to happen before they do.
%%* ''Series/WarOfTheWorlds'' episode "The Resurrection"



[[folder:Literature]]
* A variation: In Literature/TheBible, Luke 22, the arrested Jesus is interrogated and asked to confirm that he claims to be the Christ. He answers with pretty much this phrase. If Our Lord being a DeadpanSnarker distresses you, wait 'til you find the puns.
* A slight variation is said by Shay Bourne to Father Michael in Jodi Picoult's ''Change of Heart'':
-->They moved to the far side of the room, and I leaned closer to Shay.
-->"Are you okay?"
-->"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
-->"Oh, try me."
* Happens in ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'' novel ''Changes'', where the [[GoodCopBadCop Good Cop]] is questioning Harry about a building that was bombed. Harry delivers this line when asked if he knows who did it, then the two change subject and talk a while before the cop decides he's innocent and lets him go. Before Harry leaves, the cop asks who really did it, to which he responds "Vampires," adding "I told you you wouldn't believe me" a minute later when the cop goes through surprise and disbelief.
** Note that said cop was a LivingLieDetector, so he realizes Harry actually believes his answer is the truth.
* In ''[[Literature/{{Ravirn}} WebMage]]'', Ravirn is placed under a "Cassandra Curse" that prevents people from believing anything he says about the BigBad. When Eris tries to question him about a related matter, he tells her that she wouldn't believe him if he told her -- [[CassandraTruth which she naturally doesn't believe]].
* In ''The Gatekeeper: The Gate Contracts'', George Green has to explain to his boss what happened with Lynn in the Men's restroom:
-->'''Dr. Sign''': Okay George, let's hear it.\\
'''George''': Lynn and I went to the cafeteria to eat. I told her to wait a minute, I had to use the bathroom. I went in and used the urinal as someone else came into the bathroom. When I turned around I discovered that she was the someone else. She proceeded to make various cooing sounds and I attempted to tell her this was inappropriate. She unzipped my fly, removed my penis from my pants and got on her knees. I put my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to push her away. At that moment the [campus police] officer came into the bathroom." I smiled a little. "I'm sorry, Dr. Sign, I shouldn't be smiling about this. I know this is serious, but I got a mental picture in my head of what he saw and trying to explain to him it wasn't what he thought it was. I looked at what was happening. I said to the officer that I wasn't going to say a word to him, if I was him and I told him what I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
[[/folder]]



%%* ''SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas''
* ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooAndTheGoblinKing''. At the end of the episode, the [[spoiler:benevolent]] Goblin King casts a spell that erases memory of the night's events from everyone but Shaggy and Scooby. When the rest of the gang asks what happened, they use the trope.



* ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003 TMNT (2003)]]'': In [[Recap/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003S1E3AttackOfTheMousers "Attack of the Mousers,"]] Master Splinter is (understandably) afraid that April O'Neil will tell people about the existence of himself and his four sons, but April points out that even if she did tell anyone, they probably wouldn't believe her--even Leo and Mikey agree that April does have a point.


Added DiffLines:

* ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooAndTheGoblinKing''. At the end of the episode, the [[spoiler:benevolent]] Goblin King casts a spell that erases memory of the night's events from everyone but Shaggy and Scooby. When the rest of the gang asks what happened, they use the trope.
%%* ''WesternAnimation/SinbadLegendOfTheSevenSeas''
* ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsRebels'': In [[Recap/StarWarsRebelsS3E19ZeroHour "Zero Hour"]], Kanan says this by way of explanation for why he never told Hera, or anyone else except Ezra, about the Bendu, a mysterious and extremely powerful Force-wielder who lives on Atollon.
* ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003 TMNT (2003)]]'': In [[Recap/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003S1E3AttackOfTheMousers "Attack of the Mousers,"]] Master Splinter is (understandably) afraid that April O'Neil will tell people about the existence of himself and his four sons, but April points out that even if she did tell anyone, they probably wouldn't believe her--even Leo and Mikey agree that April does have a point.


Added DiffLines:

1st Mar '17 1:28:05 PM LordNictus
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->'''Emily:''' Honesty is the best policy!\\
'''Ash:''' Honesty would get both of us put in an asylum.
-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}''

to:

->'''Emily:''' Honesty is ->'''Mullroy:''' I think he's telling the best policy!\\
'''Ash:''' Honesty would get both
truth.\\
'''Murtogg:''' If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.\\
'''Captain Jack Sparrow:''' Unless,
of us put in an asylum.
course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.
-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}''
''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl''
30th Jan '17 6:02:26 PM jccw227
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* One sketch on ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'' features pee building up outside of a plane, and freezing in the cold air. It keeps building up and getting bigger until it forms a giant frozen piss-ball and breaks off, plummeting to Earth and ultimately crushing the British royal family. The headline simply read, "You're Not Going To [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Believe This!"
20th Sep '16 4:33:57 PM TMNTFanGirl
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003 TMNT (2003)]]'': In [[Recap/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003S1E3AttackOfTheMousers "Attack of the Mousers,"]] Master Splinter is (understandably) afraid that April O'Neil will tell people about the existence of himself and his four sons, but April points out that even if she did tell anyone, they probably wouldn't believe her--even Leo and Mikey agree that April does have a point.
5th Jun '16 3:46:35 PM nombretomado
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* In ''PushingDaisies'', Chuck tells Ned that Olive wouldn't believe that Ned had brought Chuck back to life even if she told her. Ned asks her how she knows that, and she says, "because I told her and she wouldn't believe me."

to:

* In ''PushingDaisies'', ''Series/PushingDaisies'', Chuck tells Ned that Olive wouldn't believe that Ned had brought Chuck back to life even if she told her. Ned asks her how she knows that, and she says, "because I told her and she wouldn't believe me."
22nd Apr '16 10:19:29 PM aye_amber
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* In an episode of ''FullHouse'', Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) ElvisPresley, and when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.

to:

* In an episode of ''FullHouse'', ''Series/FullHouse,'' Jesse receives some timely advice from a man who looks like (though hinted it might be) ElvisPresley, Music/ElvisPresley, and when Jesse mentions he looks familiar, the stranger says people mistake him for Wayne Newton. When Jesse is telling everyone else about the stranger, he realizes that being a huge Elvis fan, it was just too weird that he got advice from a man who looked like Elvis, so he said the man looked like Wayne Newton.
This list shows the last 10 events of 79. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Main.YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou