History Main / UselessSpleen

* ''WesternAnimation/DaveTheBarbarian'':
-->''Evil minion falls over on The Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy''\\
'''Chuckles''': Oooh, I think you ruptured [[MadLibsCatchPhrase my little piggy spleen]].

* After Buck lands and manages to twist himself so that his spleen is bulging below his skin in ''WesternAnimation/IceAge5CollisionCourse'':

* A French idiom for "running very quickly" is "courir comme un dératé" ("running like someone without spleen"). It comes from the old belief that the spleen is useless beside causing side stitch during the effort, thus losing the organ wouldn't have any detrimental effect but would make you more athletic.

** Subverted in bonus comic "How the Paladin Got His Scar". A character mentions losing their spleen in a fight, which at first seems like just another case of InherentlyFunnyWords, but they later mention in passing that they [[RealityEnsues will need to take medicine for the rest of their life,]] and have been [[spoiler:honourably discharged from the army.]]

*** Although he had [[DeathOfAThousandCuts more flesh wounds than flesh and more poison than blood in his system]] (also, he was moving entirely under Force power, literally burning himself out to do it) so the spleen was just [[CriticalExistenceFailure the last straw]]. [[DyingMomentOfAwesome Anakin didn't exactly go out quietly]].

** In Mark Gottlieb's article "[[http://www.wizards.com/magic/magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom/feature/405 Combos: Future Sight Edition]]", he takes a spleen-piercing bullet to the spleen.

In fact, the spleen plays a very important role in the lymphatic and immune systems. It is easily ruptured by blunt or piercing impact and is very difficult to repair (doctors say that it has the natural consistency of a blood-soaked sponge). If severely damaged, often it must be removed surgically or the person in question is likely to bleed to death; once removed, the person has to take care to avoid bacterial and protozoan infections (to which they become more susceptible). A fairly comprehensive treatment of the subject is covered in [[http://www.politedissent.com/archives/3834 a blog entry by Dr. Scott]].

* A common punchline in ''ComicStrip/BrewsterRockitSpaceGuy'' involves Winky being attacked by an alien and screaming "Ah! My spleen!"

As far as human organs go, there is the common idea that no-one knows exactly what the spleen does.

* After Buck lands and manages to twist himself so that his spleen is bulging below his skin in WesternAnimation/IceAge5CollisionCourse:
--> '''Buck''': [pokes bulge] Ow, my spleen! Utterly useless, but it totally hurts!

-->'''Sean:''' Lost her spleen though, eh? Pity, that. [[{{Exposition}} Make it mighty tough on her to fight off infection.]]

* Inverted in a Dilbert comic strip, where Wally's excuse for being useless was that he was keeping hydrated by drinking coffee to keep his spleen from drying up.

* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS37E5TheTsurangaConundrum The Tsuranga Conundrum]]", the Doctor and companions wind up on an ambulance spaceship after falling afoul of a sonic mine. The Doctor, still recovering for most of the episode, mentions her "ecto-spleen" is hurting.

* Getting hurt in the spleen is a sort of long-term RunningGag in ''WebComic/SluggyFreelance''. It's more than just mentioned once: in a parody of ''Film/KillBill'', in which [[HairRaisingHare Bun-bun]] is [[AcceptableTargets killing telemarketers]], he's shown holding a spleen that he says one of them "dropped".

* Getting hurt in the spleen is a sort of long-term RunningGag in ''WebComic/SluggyFreelance''. It's more than just mentioned once in a parody of ''Film/KillBill'', in which [[HairRaisingHare Bun-bun]] is [[AcceptableTargets killing telemarketers]], he's shown holding a spleen that he says one of them "dropped".

* Getting hurt in the spleen is a sort of long-term RunningGag in ''WebComic/SluggyFreelance''. In perhaps the most notable example, in a parody of ''Film/KillBill'', in which [[HairRaisingHare Bun-bun]] is [[AcceptableTargets killing telemarketers]], he's shown holding a spleen that he says one of them "dropped".

** When Elan is badly wounded he asks: "How important is one of these?" while holding out an unspecified detached organ. Said wounds were due to being ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice, after which he states, "Look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen."

** Played with when Elan is badly wounded and asks: "How important is one of these?" while holding out an unspecified detached organ. Said wounds were due to being ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice, after which he states, "Look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen."

* Played with in ''Webcomic/{{Exiern}}'' [[http://www.exiern.com/2017/04/12/drive-around-the-boom-gates-at-a-level-crossing/ here]].

* Getting hurt in the spleen is a sort of long-term RunningGag in ''WebComic/SluggyFreelance''. In a parody of ''Film/KillBill'', in which [[HairRaisingHare Bun-bun]] is [[AcceptableTargets killing telemarketers]], he's shown holding a spleen that he says one of them "dropped".

** Subverted in bonus comic "How the Paladin Got His Scar". A character mentions losing their spleen in a fight, which at first seems like just another case of InherentlyFunnyWords, but they later mention in passing that they [[RealityEnsues will need to take medicine for the rest of their life.]]

As far as human organs go, there is the common idea that no one knows exactly what the spleen does.

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* In Mark Gottlieb's TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering article "[[http://www.wizards.com/magic/magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom/feature/405 Combos: Future Sight Edition]]", he takes a spleen-piercing bullet to the spleen.

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* [[ComicBook/RobinSeries Tim Drake]] loses his spleen to a sword-strike in ''Red Robin #4''.

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* Inverted in an [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX_vRpzTvLM ad]] for ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamCity'', in which Harley Quinn has a voiceover similar to theme park's "keep hands in car at all times" announcements. Harley denies liability for injuries to a series of body parts, including "spleen or other vital organs". The spleen may not be useless, but it's not a '''vital''' organ either: you ''can'' survive without one, else removing a damaged spleen would not be an option.
* In one Progressive Insurance ad, Michael Buffer claims he broke his spleen after being forced to hold the last syllable of "Let's get ready to bundle".

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-->'''Holden''': My spleen is collapsing. Hurry up.

** In the novel ''[[Literature/SpiderManTheVenomFactor The Venom Factor]]'', Comicbook/{{Venom}} states that when he finds whoever is responsible for the murders (that Venom is being wrongly accused of) he will eat his spleen. Spider-Man comments that this is an odd choice of organ to target and that Venom likely doesn't even know where someone's spleen is.
** Comes back in The Literature/SinisterSixTrilogy where Spider-Man casually jokes about Venom wanting to eat his spleen. He speculates that it's not specifically the spleen he's after, they both just think it's [[InherentlyFunnyWord a funny word]].
* Averted in the ''Literature/{{Stardoc}}'' series—or at least for the Jorenian race, for whom it's a vital organ.

--->'''Phanan''': Yes, I got so angry I had to vent my spleen.

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-->;''Rev:''' It's a '[something in Magog] pancreas.\\

* A few [[BodyOfTheWeek Bodies Of The Week]] from the ''Series/{{CSI}}'' franchise have succumbed to bleeding out after a bludgeoning attack or collision ruptured their spleen. An aversion of sorts, as it reminds viewers that, whether or not a working spleen is essential to survival, an ''injured'' spleen is liable to kill you in the absence of emergency surgery.

* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In [[Recap/DoctorWhoS37E5TheTsurangaConundrum "The Tsuranga Conundrum"]], the Doctor and companions wind up on an ambulance spaceship after falling afoul of a sonic mine. The Doctor, still recovering for most of the episode, mentions her "ecto-spleen" is hurting.

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* A common punchline in ''ComicStrip/BrewsterRockitSpaceGuy'' involves Winky being attacked by an alien and screaming "Ah! My spleen!"
* A ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide'' cartoon with "Having explored the heart of the jungle, the intrepid explorers now entered the spleen". Another has Creator/EdgarAllanPoe with list of crossed-out titles, such as The Telltalle Brain and The Telltale Spleen.
* In an ''ComicStrip/OverTheHedge'' strip where Verne gets in a sledding accident his spleen is one of several organs scattered across the landscape. Another time when RJ is trying to convince him to get past a Mayan warrior-priest guarding a fridge he tells him that guy is more likely to grab a kidney or spleen than heart, and you can live without a kidney or spleen.
* Inverted in a Dilbert comic strip, where Wally's excuse for being useless was that he was keeping hydrated by drinking coffee to keep his spleen from drying up.

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* As seen in the page picture, Black Mage's spleen is a RunningGag in ''WebComic/EightBitTheater''. By [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/11/30/thanksgiving-2002-guest-comic-2/ Thanksgiving 2002]], he's apparently found it.

* "Has anyone seen my spleen?" is a common phrase in the aftermath of combat in ''Webcomic/DorkTower''.
** Or, in real life, the aftermath of Carson trying to [[http://www.dorktower.com/2007/02/21/comics-archive-885/ kick a "fenderberg" off a moving car]].

* Played with in ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', when Elan is badly wounded and asks: "How important is one of these?" while holding out an unspecified detached organ. Said wounds were due to being ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice, after which he states, "Look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen."

* One of the ''Pyramid'' magazine ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic'' strips, which can be found [[http://www.sjgames.com/pyramid/iwc/?strip=12 here]], features a critical hit chart aimed at PC's. "Spleen" was labelled "Susceptible to Infection", which is a nuisance in a fantasy setting (more so in LowFantasy), but given how many of the other organs are labelled "Death", "Paraplegia" or "Crippled", Ruined Spleen Guy is probably getting off lightly.

-->'''Lambert:''' Draak has a comprehensive knowledge of battlefield surgery.
-->'''Draak:''' DRAAK TAKE OUT BAD SPLEEN ONE TIME.

* [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/025 Spleonard Spleenus]] in Webcomic/AwfulHospital is a [[AnimateBodyParts sapient version]] of one of these. One of his tangents even contains a link to this very page.
* ''Webcomic/DanAndMabsFurryAdventures'': apparently a form of magical CPR can be performed by [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_160.php bludgeoning a nearby fae]] in the spleen. In spite of circumstances, this is probably more RuleOfFunny than anything else.
** Though, the one in need of healing later turned out to be an EmotionEater with an affinity for pain. So, hypothetically beating a bystander in the spleen could have healed him.

'''Urtica:''' Perhaps, but this is political intrigue at the very highest of dramatic levels. No one ever aims for the spleen.

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* The first incarnation of ''Roleplay/{{GRIT}}'' had a villainous character named P-Word who often threatened to rip out people's spleens.
* The game [[WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooMysteryIncorporated Crystal Cove Online]] features the first 26 mysteries and a bonus mystery. When two orcs appeared, the one who was said to have it worst complained about a hurt spleen.
* A throwaway gag of ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' has Grif grievously injured and in immediate need of surgery. Simmons [[GotVolunteered "volunteers"]] to donate his organs to Grif, becoming a {{Cyborg}} in the process. Almost every organ is transplanted, except for the spleen, [[{{Squick}} which is inflated and used for general recreation, and espirits de corps.]]
* The WebAnimation/{{Animutation}} ''[[WebAnimation/ColinMochrieVsJesusHChrist French Erotic Film]]'' has a group of character parodying WesternAnimation/{{Captain Planet|AndThePlaneteers}} in order to stop [[Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway Colin Mochrie]] who has turned into a crazy scotsman. But instead of summoning with the power of Heart, they use the power of Spleen, with a FreezeFrameBonus asking WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway.

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