History Main / ThinkUnsexyThoughts

The opposite of LieBackAndThinkOfEngland when used for sex. FetishRetardant and TheLoinsSleepTonight are inversions of this.

** "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E9TheLastTemptationOfHomer The Last Temptation of Homer]]": While stuck in an elevator with Mindy Simmons, a sexy new coworker, Homer Simpson imagines his sisters-in-law, Patty and Selma, wearing towels and shaving their legs in the bathroom, as well as his best friend Barney in a polka dot bikini drunkenly humming the theme to ''[[Series/IDreamOfJeannie I Dream of Jeannie]]''. It doesn't work, as Barney morphs into Mindy. His mantra is the {{Trope Namer|s}}. Ironically, Mindy ''also'' had the same mantra as Homer.

[[caption-width-right:350:Sadly that didn't help him make his... GOOOAL... of lasting longer.]]

[[quoteright:225:[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/momentthoughtresult.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:225:[[UncomfortableElevatorMoment The Moment]] / [[FanDisservice The Thought]] / [[DrivenToSuicide The Result]]]]

* ''Film/TheAdventuresofFordFairlane'': Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay) at one point early in the film gets an unwanted erection and says out loud to his penis ""Come on, down boy. Down Stanley. Roseanne Barr naked. Gone."

* A ''Webcomic/{{Oglaf}}'' strip features [[TheCavalry the Sexual Cavalry]], who attempt to save a man in the throes of impending premature ejaculation through "diversions", including a difficult maths problem and an optical illusion. Unfortunately, their efforts prove fruitless to stop it--prompting the man's partner to ask the cavalry to help with ''her'' problem.

-->'''Girlfriend:''' Oh for crying out loud! Think about base ball. Think about base ball!!!

* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/BigMouth'', Andrew tries to repress his sexual urges while out on a date with his crush, but Maurice, his hormone monster, won't leave him alone, so Andrew tries to ward him off with pictures of his grandmother and a mezuzah (he thinks it works like a cross). When neither of those work, he subjects Maurice to Garrison Keillor jokes, causing Maurice to convulse in pain.

[[quoteright:214:[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/momentthoughtresult.jpg]]]]
[[caption-width-right:214:[[UncomfortableElevatorMoment The Moment]] / [[FanDisservice The Thought]] / [[DrivenToSuicide The Result]]]]

* ''Film/TheAdventuresofFordFairlane'': Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay) at one point early in the film gets an unwanted erection and says out loud to his penis "“Come on, down boy. Down Stanley. Roseanne Barr naked. Gone.”

-->She laughed and pulled him over to the window, “OK, ''dude'', the key is chairs.”\\
“Chairs?” He looked puzzled.\\
“Think about anything non-sexual. Furniture is good for most guys. Or someone totally heinous, like Hitler or George W. Bush. Anything to get your mind off the problem.”\\
Understanding slowly dawned on his face, “Ah… ok… chairs. Right, chairs. Hey, chairs are made out of wood, right?”\\
“No,” Sara shook her head, “don’t go there. Creator/WoodyAllen’s not a good one either. How about cups? Not too erotic?”\\
“Depends what you put in them.”\\
“Touché. Ok, I’ve got a sure fire winner. [[DeanBitterman Ms. Hartford]].”\\
Hank winced, “Thanks, I’ll never get any wood ever again...”

* At the beginning of ''VisualNovel/DoubleHomework'', the protagonist’s imagination starts to run wild when he first meets the attractive Dr. Mosely. He comes up with a rather squicky image to keep his hormones in check:

* ''LightNovel/InfiniteStratos'': Ichika finds himself in a changing room with Charlotte, after she pulled him in both to hide from the [[ClingyJealousGirl other girls]] following them, as well as to show him the outfit she planned to wear at the beach. With his back turned to her, as he hears her undressing, he forces himself to [[MouthfulOfPi recite Pi]] in order to get his mind off thinking about her naked body. It eventually works, but a few moments later they get caught...by his older sister and homeroom teacher.

* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'': In "Coup By Clam", D'Argo becomes mentally linked to [[DirtyOldWoman Noranti]], who starts [[ADateWithRosiePalms stimulating herself]], causing an identical reaction in D'Argo, who doesn't enjoy it as much as you'd think.

* Maccer from ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas'' is a [[ADateWithRosiePalms chronic masturbator]]. To get him to stop, his manager tells him to "Think of [[UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher Thatcher]]". Unfortunately, that just turns him on more.

-->-- '''Austin Powers''', ''Film/AustinPowersInternationalManOfMystery''

* In ''LightNovel/InfiniteStratos'', Ichika finds himself in a changing room with Charlotte, after she pulled him in both to hide from the [[ClingyJealousGirl other girls]] following them, as well as to show him the outfit she planned to wear at the beach. With his back turned to her, as he hears her undressing, he forces himself to [[MouthfulOfPi recite Pi]] in order to get his mind off thinking about her naked body. It eventually works, but a few moments later they get caught...by his older sister and homeroom teacher.
* In ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist'', Ed is with Winry and trying not to think of the time Hawkeye teased him about [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend being in love with her]], and starts spouting out the periodic table.
* In one chapter of ''Manga/AILoveYou'', Hitoshi has been forced into a pair of underwear that will [[GroinAttack slap him in the crotch]] whenever he stirs and will ''explode'' if it reaches thirty slaps. He tries to avoid getting whacked by thinking about male bodybuilders... [[TooDumbToLive while peeking in on the girls' locker room]]. (Un)fortunately, he loses focus for a second, the underwear slaps him, and the sound alerts the girls, who beat him up.
* In ''Manga/IchaichaSuruToOkaneGaWaichauFutariNoHanashi'', Aki wakes up with a {{nosebleed}} after having an EroticDream sleeping next to Hanasaki, and runs to stand in a cold waterfall to stop being turned on before she wakes up.
* In the dub of ''Anime/PantyAndStockingWithGarterbelt'', when Brief has to avoid ejaculating or [[spoiler:he'll unleash the SealedEvilInACan]], he starts yelling "Dead puppies and grandma! Dead puppies and grandma!"

* In the Creator/SteveMartin movie ''Film/AllOfMe'', a woman is stuck in the body of the main character. He wants to sleep with another female character, but his "roommate" objects and starts filling his head with images of dead kittens and old nuns.
* The title character of ''Film/{{Blankman}}'' routinely goes into... convulsions... when kissed or otherwise aroused. "Think about math..."
* UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher again serves as anti-erection fodder in ''Film/BedroomsAndHallways'', where Leo, a gay man, is convinced to sit in a sauna with the fellow (straight) members of his support group.

* In ''Film/TheMansion'', Djamal encounters a vintage porno mag and then attempts to think of unsexy things because he knows [[GagPenis his erection]] will keep him from being able to move quickly. He fails.
* A RunningGag in ''Film/BubbleBoy'' is Jimmy reciting the Pledge of Allegiance any time he gets an erection and repeating it until it goes away, as his hyper-fundamentalist mother had taught him to do. This includes when his crush gets a little too close to him while teaching him to play guitar and, much later, when [[ItMakesSenseInContext mud wrestling two bikini-clad women]].
* ''Film/TheAdventuresofFordFairlane'': Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay) at one point early in the film gets an unwanted erection and says out loud to his penis "“Come on, down boy. Down Stanley. Roseanne Barr naked. Gone.”

** "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E9TheLastTemptationOfHomer The Last Temptation of Homer]]": While stuck in an elevator with Mindy Simmons, a sexy new coworker, Homer Simpson imagines his sisters-in-law, Patty and Selma, wearing towels and shaving their legs in the bathroom, as well as his best friend Barney in a polka dot bikini drunkenly humming the theme to ''[[Series/IDreamOfJeannie I Dream of Jeannie]]''. It doesn't work, as Barney morphs into Mindy. His mantra is the TropeNamer. Ironically, Mindy ''also'' had the same mantra as Homer.

* ''Film/TheAdventuresofFordFairlane'': Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay) at one point early in the film gets an unwanted erection and says out loud to his penis "“Come on, down boy. Down Stanley. Roseanne Barr naked. Gone.”.

* ''Film/TheAdventuresofFordFairlane'': Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay) at one point early in the film is trying to avoid getting "aroused" at the sight of sexy woman and says out loud, "Think Rosanne Barr Naked".

* In ''[[Film/TheAdventuresOfCaptainProton Captain Proton]] and the Planet of Lesbians'', Buster Kincaid is faced with [[TwinThreesomeFantasy twin]] scantily-dressed {{Hot Scientist}}s intent on using him as a GlorifiedSpermDonor for their LadyLand society. He tries a SurvivalMantra ("[[Franchise/{{Dune}} I must drink beer, beer is the mind killer...]]"), the procedure for assembling a Class IV Rocket Engine ("Insert the long tribanium rod into the moist cunt...I mean the Moise-Carver termination socket. Do not attempt to force the rod if it becomes stuck, but instead come, I mean ''coat'' the rod in ejaculate...''ejection'' lubricant in order to ease its passage into the tight hole...") and then:

* ''Series/FlandersCompany'': After Andromalia (a [[HornyDevils Succubus]]) has inflicted a RagingStiffie on Dr. Parker, Hippolyte is asked how he's resisting her influence (beyond a NoseBleed). Hippolyte's answer is that he's thinking about dead puppies. Lots of dead puppies.

“No,” Sara shook her head, “don’t go there. Woody Allen’s not a good one either. How about cups? Not too erotic?”\\

* ''Series/LazyTown'' has Bill Thompson captured by the "Evil Dudette"(who is the brother of the "Evil Dude") shouting out "You're an ugly girl!" & what Austin Powers said about Margret Thatcher without clothes on a cold day.