History Main / ThinkUnsexyThoughts

20th Oct '17 2:52:44 PM DrFraud
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** In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4780695/14/A-Collection-of-Harmonious-OneShots A Collection of Harmonious OneShots]]'' Hermione gets fed up with Harry's comment that he loves her like a sister, ties him to a bed and then strips.
-->Harry felt a slight stirring in his crotch, but concentrated on images of Umbridge in a bikini... with a riding crop... spanking Mr. Filch... yeah, that worked.
1st Aug '17 6:27:34 PM DrFraud
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** ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12137113/2/Revealing-Perspectives Revealing Perspectives]]'':
-->'''Harry:''' ''No! Stop it. Think about something else. Think about Snape. Eurgh. Snape and Umbridge; in tutus. Hrrk.''
26th Jul '17 7:24:35 PM DrFraud
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** In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/works/392778 The Artist and the Savior]]'' Harry moans while eating dessert in the Great Hall and Dean gets an erection.
-->''Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Um, crap. Uh, [=McGonagall=] getting it on with Dumbledore.''

to:

** In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/works/392778 The Artist and the Savior]]'' Harry moans while eating dessert in the Great Hall and Dean gets an erection.
-->''Think
Savior]]'':
-->'''Dean:''' ''Think
unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Um, crap. Uh, [=McGonagall=] getting it on with Dumbledore.''


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** ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619147/7/Violence-Inherent-in-the-System Violence Inherent in the System]]'':
-->'''Harry:''' ''Umbridge naked dancing. Dumbledore shagging a troll. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Ver- oh, that's just sick.''
15th Jul '17 8:14:49 AM JackG
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* ''Series/{{Farscape}}''. In "Coup By Clam", D'Argo becomes mentally linked to [[DirtyOldWoman Noranti]], who starts [[ADateWithRosiePalms stimulating herself]], causing an identical reaction in D'Argo, who doesn't enjoy it as much as you'd think.
-->'''Aeryn:''' Come on D'Argo. Just fight it.
-->'''John:''' Dee, think about baseball. Math. Isosceles triangle. Rusty... razor blades. Gravel. ''[hint: it doesn't work]''
20th Jun '17 5:44:32 PM DrFraud
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** In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/1520690/chapters/4753695 Better Late Than Never]]'' Harry deals with an erection due to remembering a wet dream about Draco Malfoy by thinking of Mrs. Weasley in a bikini.

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** In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/1520690/chapters/4753695 Better Late Than Never]]'' Harry deals with an erection due to remembering from a wet dream about Draco Malfoy by thinking of Mrs. Weasley in a bikini.



* Happens a couple of times in ''Fanfic/SerendipitousFate'' with Adrien, with thoughts such as his father in a Speedo and kittens which may or may not be dead. Results in a hilarious DiggingYourselfDeeper exchange with Marinette when she asks what she's thinking about.

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** In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8535709/3/Grey-Is-Better Grey Is Better]]'' Harry thinks of Snape having sex with Umbridge after walking in on a partially-dressed Hermione.
* Happens a couple of times in ''Fanfic/SerendipitousFate'' with Adrien, with thoughts such as his father in a Speedo and kittens which may or may not be dead. Results in a hilarious DiggingYourselfDeeper exchange with Marinette when she asks what she's he's thinking about.
12th May '17 2:14:41 PM GrammarNavi
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-->''Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Um, crap. Uh, McGonagall getting it on with Dumbledore.''

to:

-->''Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Um, crap. Uh, McGonagall [=McGonagall=] getting it on with Dumbledore.''
15th Apr '17 6:55:43 PM kazokuhouou
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* Zigzagged in ''WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}}. Murderface at first tries to think of sexy thoughts so he doesn't think about how a male doctor is examining his junk, then when he realizes he's getting hard, tries desperately to think of unsexy thoughts because jerking off in a doctor's face 'makes you gay'.
5th Apr '17 5:58:01 AM PF
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Either way, the solution is the same: to conjure up some image in the brain that draws attention away from the contents of the pants. Such an image is either hilariously mundane or hilariously horrific. In American media, the former option often takes the form "think about baseball!" ... Which is odd, considering [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex the whole "base" thing]], but there you go.

to:

Either way, the solution is the same: to conjure up some image in the brain that draws attention away from the contents of the pants. Such an image is either hilariously mundane or hilariously horrific. In American media, the former option often takes the form "think about baseball!" ... Which is odd, considering [[https://en.baseball!"[[note]][[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex the whole "base" thing]], but Ironically, there you go.
are a bunch of baseball metaphors for sex.]][[/note]]
5th Apr '17 5:36:48 AM DrFraud
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** In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/works/392778 The Artist and the Savior]]'' Harry moans while eating dessert in the Great Hall and Dean gets an erection.
-->''Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Um, crap. Uh, McGonagall getting it on with Dumbledore.''
31st Mar '17 7:46:33 AM billybobfred
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Either way, the solution is the same: to conjure up some image in the brain that draws attention away from the contents of the pants. Such an image is either hilariously mundane or hilariously horrific. In American media, the former option often takes the form "think about baseball!"[[note]]Which is ironic considering [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex this.]][[/note]]

to:

Either way, the solution is the same: to conjure up some image in the brain that draws attention away from the contents of the pants. Such an image is either hilariously mundane or hilariously horrific. In American media, the former option often takes the form "think about baseball!"[[note]]Which baseball!" ... Which is ironic odd, considering [[http://en.[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex this.]][[/note]]
the whole "base" thing]], but there you go.
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