History Main / TheGuardsMustbeCrazy

* Having alarms that can be switched off by cutting the power or the wire.[[note]]In real life, alarms have battery backup, fault-detection to detect when a wire has been cut (because wires popping loose is also a likely problem to occur), and even an alarm being shut off legitimately will alert the people monitoring it.[[/note]]

* Averted in ''Webcomic/{{Goblins}}'': [[http://www.goblinscomic.com/11272006/ the title goblins try to sneak into the city]] and ''random low-level town guards'' have enough sense to both check where the rock came from and summon help, resulting in a city riot about an army of goblins hiding in the sewers.

Being a [[PatrollingMook guard]] for an EvilOverlord is a low-status, low-pay, high-risk job in an [[NoOSHACompliance unsafe workplace]], with very little [[YouHaveFailedMe long term job security]] (but they normally have a brilliant [[{{Retirony}} pension plan]]). So it's hardly surprising that most applicants aren't exactly [[CluelessDeputy the sharpest knives in the drawer]], and could be fooled by tricks that wouldn't phase an average six-year old.

* In ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8643131/1/The-New-Millennium The New Millenium]]'' fanfic, this trope is subverted. Celeste's Yami, Aclina, who is supposed to be somewhat of a guardian for Yami (At least according to Word of God), is implied to be crazy by the way she punishes [[spoiler:Ran's kidnappers]]: with an imersion into insanity. When she turns on the [[spoiler:kidnappers]], she has 'A smile stained with pure insanity' on her face. But when she turns back to Yami, she has 'Her usual look of indifference' on. This implies that Selective Insanity is present.

* ''Fanfic/TheDilgarWar'':
** Played straight when a Dilgar infiltrator on Earth successfully kidnaps the deputy director of the [=PsiCorps=] in spite of her and her guards being ''telepaths'', and then defeats said guards by using their telepathy against them. To the guards' defence, they were usually employed to hunt down rogue unarmed telepaths and their opponent was a professional extremely good at fighting and hiding his thoughts and equipped with a suit making him invisible...
** Later {{Subverted}}: when the infiltrator penetrates [=EarthDome=] (the city near Geneva built specifically to house the Earth Alliance government), he successfully enters thanks to the codes he extracted from the deputy director, his invisible suit, and the fact he's believed to have drowned right after the scuffle with the telepaths, but fails to leave when [[EvilDetectingDog a dog sniffs him, fails to see him, and attacks]], wrecking his suit and causing half the guards to come to kill him (he's killed by the ones who found him about one minute before a hundred guards tracks him down). After that incident, guard dogs are dispatched to the entrance of all military bases, with one Dilgar with an identical suit failing to secretly follow one of his leaders to a diplomatic meeting specifically because of a guard dog alerting the guards.
* In ''Fanfic/TheFifthAct'', Genesis gets reports of a lone unaffliated man outside the camp, believed to be a Wutai spy. Genesis thinks the scouts who reported [[PeggySue Cloud's]] presence are morons since Cloud is not hiding in the least, is too blond to be from Wutai and is openly camping.

* The sleeping [[http://bobadventures.comicgenesis.com/d/20080603.html peanut butter factory guard]] and the slow and clumsy [[http://bobadventures.comicgenesis.com/d/20090829.html guard-bot]] in ''Webcomic/TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob''.

* The ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' fanfiction ''Fanfic/{{Jericho}}'' has some amusing amounts of this.

* ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'': {{Lampshaded}} in "[[Recap/StevenUniverseS5E2TheTrial The Trial]]" by Defense Zircon. At the time that she allegedly shattered Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz had been a recognized public enemy for centuries, and there were no other Rose Quartz gems in Pink Diamond's court or entourage. So ''how'' did Rose Quartz get close enough to Pink Diamond to shatter her? Why didn't her [[{{Seer}} Sapphires]] see Rose coming? Why didn't her [[PraetorianGuard Agates]] try to fight Rose Quartz off? Shouldn't her [[BeautifulSlaveGirl Pearl]] at least have been able to sound the alarm? [[spoiler: It is later revealed there's a ''very good reason'' for this.]]

* ''WesternAnimation/{{DuckTales|1987}}'':

** None of them make a token effort to fight Lancelot during while he massacres the wedding party, or even try to ''[[TooDumbToLive avoid him.]]''

* ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' The Banana Guards are not particularly bright. In "Root Beer Guy" they completely ignored a resident (the eponymous Root Beer Guy) who claimed Princess Bubblegum had been kidnapped, preferred to watch reality TV shows over the surveillance tapes that clearly showed her being kidnapped, and only responded to Root Beer Guy when he claimed he was [[DisproportionateRetribution taking a boat out after 8:00]]. [[spoiler: Fortunately, it was all just a test to determine the efficiency of the Banana Guards; Root Beer Guy, who was the only one following the clues, became the new captain of the guard.]]

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19219_the-7-craziest-things-ever-done-to-get-laid.html Czechoslovakian hairdresser-turned-soldier-turned-Nazi-POW Horace Greasley]] repeatedly broke out of the POW camp he was transferred to so he could have sex with his previous camp's quarry director's daughter. And then snuck ''back into his current POW camp'' as if nothing happened. '''''He did this three times a week for five years.''''' Then the war ended and he was set free.

* [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] in Ride/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyMissionBreakout. The staff are secretly in on Rocket's plan out of spite for their BadBoss.
* Ride/StitchsGreatEscape: All the security systems in the high security teleportation chamber can be disabled simply by spitting on them. And the guards thought it was safe to raise the glass tube that Stitch was in.
** All the recruits stationed in that room were on their first day on the job, were unarmed, and were being restrained by DNA scanners that had already finished serving their purpose.

* In ''Webcomic/GetMedieval'', Torquel Hane pulled free of his chains (by dislocating his thumbs); when a guard came to investigate his cry of pain, Torquel distracted him by pointing his obviously unchained hand and saying ''another'' prisoner had escaped. The guard [[TooDumbToLive turned to look]], and CLUNK!

** Guards at the castle show a [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20081105 deplorable underreaction]] when someone claiming he's that [[OverlordJr son and heir of their boss]] who [[OneManArmy stopped a small army single-handedly]] a few hours ago "asked ''nice''" to enter. That he leads a crowd, brandishes an unknown device and [[CheshireCatGrin maniacally grins]] didn't spur their brains to work faster either. Obviously, the guards weren't really listening. If you follow that elegant and finely-crafted link above, you'll notice that about one panel later he says, "[[DoubleTake Wait, you're who?]]"

** A prisoner escaped under Larry's watch and placed a dummy in his place. It took three months before Lord Sinister got wind of this.

* The guards of the "high security" prison in the ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'' episodes "The Boiling Rock". Sokka and Zuko somehow obtain uniforms and pass themselves off as newbies. The AloneWithPrisonerPloy occurs in the first of the two episodes. Strangely enough, Zuko slips up and is caught -- but Sokka, who was the one alone with Suki, isn't suspected at all. Later on, Sokka pulls up his mask and goes to the side to talk to two prisoners. They're obviously not hiding particularly well because they ''are'' caught... by another prisoner.
** Somewhat justified in that without having a miniature zeppelin they would never have gotten in. Identity would only have to be checked at the entrance and exit. Even if someone did get a guard's uniform there is only one exit and presumably, they DO check guards leaving.
* ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales1987'':

** Part one of the ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague'' episode "[[Recap/JusticeLeagueS1E8And9InjusticeForAll Injustice for All]]" involved Lex Luthor breaking himself and the Ultra-Humanite out of prison. The latter is stated to be a model prisoner, having accrued quite a few privileges and "necessities" during his stint there, but the guards still don't take chances with him or the other prisoners. A retina scanner is the only way into the cells, and when Humanite asks the guards to bring over his dinner, claiming to be unwell, they immediately draw their truncheons on the off chance it's a ruse. This being the [[GeniusBruiser Ultra-Humanite]], however, they don't take into account that part of the floor has been electrified enough to render them unconscious right as they wheel the food over it, giving Humanite and Luthor the chance they need to escape.

-->'''Guard 1:''' I've seen month old fish that smelled better than this.\\

** In "Sparkle's Seven", despite Shining Armor's efforts to ramp up the security of the castle, the royal guards still aren't sterling examples of vigilance. Even discounting Zephyr Breeze (whom Luna assigned with the expectation he'd fail anyway), the other guards are easily falling for distractions — twice, by "Apple Chord"'s singing and then by Pinkie Pie's party. Also, one guard getting his medal stolen — which is the key to the doors of the castle — isn't noticed nor immediately reported. And another guard is easily fooled by Rarity's Paper-Thin Disguise when she pretends being here to relieve him.

* In the second episode of ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheBadBatch'' [[Spoiler:Cut Lawquaine and his family]] are boarding a heavily guarded shuttle off-planet using fake chain codes. [[Spoiler:Cut]] manages to make it to the boarding ramp before one of the clone troopers recognizes his face, only managing to escape after Force 99's nearby firefight attracts more attention.

* In the second episode of ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheBadBatch'' [[Spoiler: Cut Lawquaine and his family]] are boarding a heavily guarded shuttle off-planet using fake chain codes. [[Spoiler: Cut]] manages to make it to the boarding ramp before one of the clone troopers recognizes his face, only managing to escape after Force 99's nearby firefight attracts more attention.

* The Banana Guards in ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' completely ignored a resident who claimed Princess Bubblegum had been kidnapped, preferred to watch reality TV shows over the surveillance tapes that clearly showed her being kidnapped, and only responded to the resident when he claimed he was [[DisproportionateRetribution taking a boat out after 8:00]]. [[spoiler: Fortunately, it was all just a test to determine the efficiency of the Banana Guards, and the candy resident, who was the only one following the clues, became the new chief of police.]]

** Rich removes the handcuffs of [[TheReptilians an alien lizardman]] (who's been imprisoned for rape) thinking he's friendly. It goes as well as you imagine.

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

[[folder:Pinball]]
* In Creator/WilliamsElectronics' ''Pinball/SafeCracker'', the player must sneak into a guarded bank vault. Methods for doing so include [[DonutMessWithACop distracting the guards with donuts]] and bribing them with points.

[[folder:Print Media]]
* ''Reader's Digest'' once had a story in "Humor in Uniform" where a group of army brass talked about the guards on duty at their base and mentioned that some of them are on duty for so long, they don't bother to verify presented identification. So, they came up with a challenge to see who could get past security with the weakest form of identification. They each successfully passed security with driver's licenses, library cards, credit cards, and so forth. The winner's identification: a piece of toast.

** Speaking of early adventure modules, the above example is all the more unusual because the gnoll in question ''isn't'' already distracted from its duty by gambling with fellow guards. Betting on dice, brawls, and/or BeastlyBloodsports is ubiquitous among humanoids in old-school D&D modules; it's amazing any of them actually have any treasure left.

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* In ''Anime/{{Windaria}}'' the key to Lunara's floodgates are guarded by an old man that sleeps most of the day in a guardhouse without a door. At the start of the film, a spy walks in there, takes the keys, and no one realizes anything until he opens the flood gates. Considering this could have flooded the entire city it merges with TooDumbToLive.
* One episode of ''Anime/DigimonAdventure'' has Piyomon and Gomamon knock out and steel some food from a particularly dumb [[BedsheetGhost Bakemon]] guard by goading him into taunting them with it.

* In ''Manga/OnePiece'', Impel Down is the World Government's high-security super-max mostly due to its architecture and resources, such as demon guardians and seastone restraints. Unfortunately, it seems very little attention was given to selecting and training human guards, who are woefully unprepared for handling prisoners with Devil Fruit powers should said prisoners be able to ''use'' them. (It doesn't apply to named characters like Magellan and Sadi-Chan, however.)
* Those two guards on the top floor of the hotel in the Island arc of ''Manga/AssassinationClassroom'' are trained agents, yet both of them immediately left their spot to chase after a kid just because he insulted them. Not to mention they got outrun by a kid (a kid trained in assassination and the fastest runner, but still...).
* In ''Anime/TheMysteriousCitiesOfGold'', the Mayan sentries are supposed to guard the house where the gang is staying. Instead, they sleep on the job, giving Pedro and Sancho a chance to sneak out.
* In the ''Anime/CaptainHarlock'' manga, Earth's prime minister has Daiba arrested with plans to have the guards follow him to Harlock or otherwise use him as bait... Then Yuki, from Harlock's crew, walks in the prison, ''presents herself as one of Harlock's pirates'' and '''''asks for confirmation if that's where they keep Daiba for the trap''''', at which point they just let her pass. Harlock's vice-commander Yattaran, who had got himself thrown in the same cell as Daiba to help him in a "proper" escape attempt, can barely believe it, the guards belately realize they look like fools... And the plan to follow Harlock's ship falls through because the radar operator was ''playing golf with the prime minister''.

* In ''TabletopGame/{{Chess}}'', it's a rare game where the King's pawns are not somehow involved in blocking his retreat and forming a checkmate.

* ''ComicBook/FantasticFour'':
** An old story saw the government imprisoning them in specially designed cells. Reed Richards and Johnny managed to find tiny flaws in the prison design. The Thing found that the door was strong enough to take one punch from him, but not multiple blows, which makes the prison designer crazy. Sue Storm turned herself invisible. And yes, guards set to guard The Invisible Woman opened the door ''because they couldn't see her''.
** A not-so-old issue of ''ComicBook/UltimateFantasticFour'' uses the same idea, only it was evil zombie versions of the entire team in one cell together, and the Reed Richards counterparts prepared the trick by claiming he had built a teleporter from a ballpoint pen and a string of hair. Zombie Susan even lampshades how amazed she is that the guards were tricked by the Invisible Woman... turning invisible. This one is especially pathetic, given that even if the teleporter claim had been true, there would still have been no earthly reason to open the doors.
** A case of "The Security Designers Must Be Crazy" happened after Reed and Doom were apparently killed. The rest of the team and Llyja was captured by the Skulls who thought they had designed a cell and shackles that could nullify their powers. Well, the stuff worked... For about an hour. After that, escaping was pretty easy. (Not to mention that the four of them were ''very'' angry at the Skrulls for humiliating them with their version of a "perp walk" beforehand, so to speak.)

* In an early ''ComicBook/JohanAndPeewit'' story, a bunch of guards abandon all common sense for a barrel of mead, leaving the guard room empty (and allowing Johan to sabotage the drawbridge).

* In ''Franchise/{{Tintin}}: [[Recap/TintinTheSevenCrystalBalls The Seven Crystal Balls]]'', Thompson and Thomson are assigned to guard Dr. Midge. They are suspicious of a package addressed to him which turns out to be a harmless present, but neglect the [[DangerousWindows windows]], which were the point of entry for previous attacks and the one that claims Dr. Midge.
* Pretty much the reason behind the Daltons' JokerImmunity in ''ComicBook/LuckyLuke''; the jail's wardens put [[CardboardPrison little to no effort]] into ensuring the Daltons stay in their cell, to the point they sometimes escape as soon as they reached jail. Lucky Luke actually gets sick of it in later albums and outright calls them idiots for it.

* Happens all the day in Spanish comic book ''ComicBook/MortadeloYFilemon'', although its first story, ''ComicBook/ElSulfatoAtomico'', featured absolutely-not-Nazi soldiers that were competent in many cases (not in the rest, of course).

* In ''Film/JurassicWorld'' the ''I. Rex's'' escape is, in spite of it being smart enough to fake an escape by making it look as though it climbed over the wall and hiding, and having enough control over its bodily functions to fool a thermal scanner, still reliant on people being dumb enough to enter its enclosure ''before'' checking if its implanted tracker is still in there, even though this information is a phone call away.

* In ''Film/{{Star Trek VI|The Undiscovered Country}}'', the ''Enterprise'' manages to fly deep into Klingon territory to rescue Kirk and [=McCoy=] despite a listening post picking them up and demanding to know their identity and destination. They manage to fool the completely incompetant guards despite having to resort to using an English-Klingon dictionary to look up their answers and making several grammatical errors during the conversation.

** Star Trek VI also has what must be one of the most idiotic examples in the history of cinema. Kirk and [=McCoy=] are in an inescapable prison, but conspirators want them dead to be sure they're really out of the way. They have another prisoner tell Kirk and [=McCoy=], "I can get outside the beaming shield, but I have nobody to beam me up when I get there. If you have a way to get off the surface, we can escape together." When Kirk verifies that they can beam up once outside the shield, the prisoner, with the help of the conspirators, leads them to a position outside the shield where the conspirators will shoot them with the excuse that they were trying to escape. The conspirators are then surprised to see Kirk and [=McCoy=] beam up right in front of their eyes, despite having gone out of their way to verify that they were prepared to do so.

* Subverted by the ''Literature/AlexRider'' book ''Scorpia Rising'': When Jack is escaping from her cell (by means of a convenient loose bar in the window), she marvels at how none of the guards overhear the huge amount of noise she makes, there's only one guard left watching the cars, and they've left the keys in the ignition. She even wonders if this might not all be too good to be true... and she's right, as her entire "escape" has been stage-managed in order to lead her into a deathtrap.
* In ''Literature/WarriorCats'':
** Cats guarding the camp often [[FailedASpotCheck don't notice]] when their Clanmates sneak out.
** In ''The Darkest Hour'', Jaggedtooth is guarding Tigerstar's prisoners. Ravenpaw pretends to be a [=RiverClan=] cat and tells him that he'll take over as guard for a bit since Tigerstar wants Jaggedtooth to report to him. Despite Jaggedtooth not recognizing Ravenpaw, and he himself pointing out that Tigerstar declared that only [=ShadowClan=] cats are allowed to guard them, he still leaves the prisoners alone with the stranger, enabling them to escape.

* ''Danger International'', Investigation Script example. If the {{PC}}s are captured they can use the "sick captive" trick to lure the guards into their cell, [[MuggedForDisguise ambush them and take their clothing and weapons]] so they can [[DressingAsTheEnemy pass for them]].

* An incredibly rare example in ''WebAnimation/DusksDawn'' when the guard in question, Donut, is a main character! He doesn't notice anything about the BigBad who's "obviously cured" and as he's walking down a corridor [[InnerMonologue monologing]] about how bored he is, a highly suspicious dark shadow flies by. Rather than do his job and check it out, he just brushes off a potential intruder as "a cat or something" (despite seeing it fly) and continues walking forward.

* ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids'' gives us some stormtroopers who are not only [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy horrible shots]], but also [[http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0744.html not very bright]].

* Played with in ''Webcomic/TheSilverEye''. Enel is not a professional guard, but when he is tasked with guarding someone, they easily convince him to let them go with the promise of revealing the secrets of Levant to him, despite the fact that he was told this person was a notorious criminal.
* ''Webcomic/StandStillStaySilent'': Averted by the security detail aboard the Dalahästen. They get to save the heroes, and are shown to be disciplined, dedicated and highly competent.
* DoublySubverted in ''Webcomic/AnecdoteOfError'', where a security guard posted outside the school grounds stops Shimei and Atshi from sneaking out because class is still in session, but then when Atshi [[BlatantLies claims]] the teacher sent them, rather than getting any confirmation[[note]]There are other guards at his post who could cover him if need be[[/note]] he just lets them through.

[[quoteright:266:[[Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/guard_bots.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:266:[[SarcasmMode Elite security]].]]

[[quoteright:282:[[Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/guard_bots_5651.jpg]]]]
[[caption-width-right:282:[[SarcasmMode Elite security]].]]

[[quoteright:275:[[Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/guard_bots_5651.jpg]]]]
[[caption-width-right:275:[[SarcasmMode Elite security]].]]

*** Most classes that would traditionally be used as guards don't have Spot, Listen or Sense Motive as class skills. This essentially makes them partially blind, hearing-impaired, and incredibly gullible. Exactly how this plays out depends on the DM. Most play the trope straight because guards tend not to be treated as more than minor enemies. Those skills are mainly intended to counteract Hide, Move Silently, and Bluff. In addition, those skills are not infallible unless the DM hands [=NPCs=] the IdiotBall. For example, no matter what your Hide skill is, if you walk in front of a guard without some form of cover, he sees you, no matter what.

** Adam Savage of Mythbusters fame has a story about how he forgot BFS 12 inch razor blades in his luggage and they didn't catch them. [[GroinAttack But they made sure to grope his genitals.]]