History Main / TheAllegedComputer

* The Coleco Adam had a really nasty design flaw- if you ad a tape in the drive when you turned the machine on, an electromagnetic surge would wipe all the data from it.

* When the notoriously bloated Windows Vista first came out, some low-end machines still ended up getting installed with it, making users' computing experience with them akin to wading through treacle. Many people ended up resorting to downgrading back to Windows XP as a result, and Microsoft had to cave in and keep the older OS alive.
* And of course Vista was nothing compared to Windows 98 and Me, notorious for Blue Screen of Death-ing, missing DLL files, "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down", and other instabilities.
* Inexperienced users, especially those who allow their machine to be infected with malware through not installing proper protection or otherwise, can turn their machine into examples of this trope.
* Older Windows machines which become bloated due to the need for continual software upgrades will eventually turn into examples of this trope.

* The computer produced by the original WayForward Technologies in Douglas Adams' ''Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency'', which Richard MacDuff advises police who have a non-functioning model would be best used as a giant paperweight. (They tried that, but then they'd have nothing to stop the door banging shut.) The same book also contains a very much defective example of the not-exactly-a-computer-in the-conventional-sense Electric Monk, which does all your believing for you.

* In ''TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob'' has the [[MadScientist mad scientist]] Dean Martin (no, not [[DeanMartin that one]]), who uses a Tandy TRS-80.

* In ''TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob'' the [[MadScientist mad scientist]] Dean Martin (no, not ''that'' DeanMartin) uses a Tandy TRS-80.

* In ''TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob'' the MadScientist Dean Martin (no, not ''that'' DeanMartin) uses a Tandy TRS-80.

* In ''TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob'' the MadScientist Dean Martin (no, not ''that'' DeanMartin) uses a TRS-80.

* In ''Webcomic/{{Homestuckesque}}'', Tyler has an Unbelievably Shitty Laptop with a CRT screen.

This is The Alleged Computer. This computer, to put it kindly, isn't the most viable to use to lollygag or search. In fact, you could probably benefit using an old mobile phone with internet capabilities over this type of "computer". Their best use is probably a novelty doorstop. If it runs overly slowly or breaks with a single touch, it definitely fits here.

If a computer is actually much more efficient than it looks, see WhatAPieceOfJunk.

-->--''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' sbemail "gimmicks"

* Strong Bad from ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' apparently loves computers like this and uses them by choice. His first computer, the Tandy, fits this trope after Strong Bad continues to use it after it ''explodes''. The Compy doesn't show any negative qualities other than general obsolescence for its time, but the Lappy is known for being too heavy to be portable and has a battery life of five minutes. He mocks his friend The Cheat for using a modern Apple that doesn't have a text-based interface, he thinks a flat screen means someone cut half of the monitor away, and he thinks the Apple mouse is a bar of soap. Averted with his current computer, the Compé, which was current when the toons that featured it were made.

->'''Strong Sad:''' Well, I hope that's for a new computer. You could get one like yours at a garage sale for, like... (chuckling) $15.

* On ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', the school's aptitude tests are scored by a huge mainframe-like machine named "Emma", which takes some PercussiveMaintenance to operate. It said Bart should be a cop and Lisa a homemaker.

->'''Strong Sad:''' ''Did your terrible computer explode?''
->'''Strong Bad:''' ''[[BlatantLies No]], shut up! Look, I'm gonna need to borrow, like, $900.''
->'''Strong Sad:''' ''Well, I hope that's for a new computer. You could get one like yours at a garage sale for, like... (chuckling) $15.''

->—''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' sbemail "gimmicks"

Compare TheAllegedCar and TheAllegedSteed, which are underperforming automobiles and horses. Also see NoBackwardsCompatibilityInTheFuture and OurGraphicsWillSuckInTheFuture.

* ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents''

->—''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' sbemail gimmicks

* TheDailyWTF has few stories about these.

!Examples:

->'''Strong Sad:''' ''Well, I hope that's for a new computer. You could get one like yours at a garage sale for, like... (chuckling) fifteen dollars.''

->'''Strong Sad:''' Did your terrible computer explode?
->'''Strong Bad:''' [[BlatantLies No]], shut up! Look, I'm gonna need to borrow, like, $900.
->'''Strong Sad:''' Well, I hope that's for a new computer. You could get one like yours at a garage sale for, like... (chuckling) fifteen dollars.

->''"Well, I hope [the $900 Strong Bad is requesting is] for a new computer. [Strong Bad] could get one like [mine] at a garage sale for, like... (chuckling) $15.''
-> '''Strong Sad''', [[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner sbemail]] gimmicks

Examples:

->''"Well, I hope [the nine hundred dollars Strong Bad is requesting is] for a new computer. [Strong Bad] could get one like [his] at a garage sale for, like... (chuckling) fifteen dollars"''.

* Newton Pulsifer, in NeilGaiman's and TerryPratchett's ''Literature/GoodOmens'' has a singular knack for machinery. That is to say he can make it stop working just by trying to make it work. And he ''always'' buys the worst. His computers somehow always manage to be the early model with the hopelessly flawed chipset and the like. [[TheAllegedCar And don't ask about his car.]]

[[AC:Live Action TV]]
* Holly from ''Series/RedDwarf'', Despite apparently having an I.Q of 3000, he (she in the later series) has gone very senile, and often blunderingly damages the people on the ship.

* One ''Series/TalesFromTheDarkside'' episode "The Word Processor Of The Gods" has writer Richard Hagstrom receive a homemade word processor from his nephew Jonathan. The machine struggles with mundane text processing, but when commanded to [[RealityWarper rewrite his life]], the results are astounding.
* Subverted in the ''Series/TalesFromTheDarkside'' episode "The Word Processor Of The Gods" has writer Richard Hagstrom receive a homemade word processor from his nephew Jonathan. The machine struggles with mundane text processing, but when commanded to [[RealityWarper rewrite his life]], the results are astounding.

* In ''ComicStrip/KnightsOfTheDinnerTable'', B.A. had a Trash 80 nicknamed Molly whose slowness made it the butt of many jokes.

[[AC: Webcomics]]

* ''Webcomic/GeneralProtectionFault'' - the secret organization of the Brotherhood of the Twisted Pair seek a geek "like none other, whose skills are without equal. He (or she) will initiate a golden age of geekdom, and lead a revolution of ideas that will revolutionize the computerized world." One of the tests is averting this trope with out-of-date machinery.
** Fooker passed by building a server out of computer equipment made from the late 1980s, when said components were at least a decade out of date.
** Sharon passed by writing down what you'd have to do in order to pull off a similar feat, using 20-year old equipment.

* On ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' the school's aptitude tests are scored by a huge mainframe-like machine named "Emma" which takes some PercussiveMaintenance to operate. It said Bart should be a cop and Lisa a homemaker.