History Main / StockShticks

* "Take my wife... ''please!''"

* AwfulWeddedLife

* DirectionlessDriver

* "...and then I got off the bus"/"pull back and reveal" (a form of TomatoSurprise). [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2j9yBOXyPVc Deconstructed]] by Lee and Herring.

** "The music these kids listen to..."
** "Kids are so spoiled with all these electronic toys..."

** "Bike helmets and seatbelts and sunscreen are garbage! When I was a kid..."
* "Hollywood is so messed up- sex is rated R or X/NC-17, and explosions are fun for kids!"

* "... and then I got off the bus", otherwise known as 'pull back and reveal'. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2j9yBOXyPVc Deconstructed]] by Lee and Herring.

* "[[PsychoExGirlfriend My ex is a bastard/bitch.]]"

->''"Did you ever notice how men leave the toilet seat up? [{{beat}}] [ChirpingCrickets] ...That's the joke."''

* "The people in the religion I was brought up with are INSANE."
* "The people in my race or ethnic group are INSANE."
* "The people in my part of the country are INSANE."

*** Latino comics go even further, making white men sound effeminate, or even [[CampGay gay]].

* "[[PsychoExGirlfriend My ex-(boyfriend|girlfriend|husband|wife) is a (bastard|bitch).]]"

*** YMMV on that one. While this describes [[WeAllLiveInAmerica intra-U.S. flights]] accurately, it's still a big spectrum with lots of variance. One surprising airline on the opposite extreme of that spectrum is El-Al: It installs expensive missile defense systems [[TheresNoKillLikeOverkill on board all of its planes]], [[CrazyPrepared something no other airline does]], and yet, there's it still has enough spare money to offer free hot meals for ''all'' passengers on ''all'' flights. Given the average Israeli's tastes and El-Al's relatively palatial fleet choices[[note]]On a Tel Aviv to Paris flight, for example, Air France will only offer your typical intra-European fare - Narrow-Body A320, Overhead TV, Buisness Class is little more than Economy with prioritized service and a table replacing the middle seat. El Al, however, handles the Paris route with their long-haul 777s (plus the occassional 747 or 787) - the same 777s they use for Trans-Atlantic flights - half the time, and even the 737s and 767s they use the other half have an actual buisness class.[[/note]], that's not gonna change soon.

*** YMMV on that one. While this describes [[WeAllLiveInAmerica intra-U.S. flights]] accurately, it's still a big spectrum with lots of variance. One surprising airline on the opposite extreme of that spectrum is El-Al: It installs expensive missile defense systems [[TheresNoKillLikeOverkill on board all of its planes]], [[CrazyPrepared something no other airline does]], and yet, there's it still has enough spare money to offer free hot meals for ''all'' passengers on ''all'' flights. Given the average Israeli's tastes and El-Al's relatively palatial fleet choices [[note]]On a Tel Aviv to Paris flight, for example, Air France will only offer your typical intra-European fare - Narrow-Body A320, Overhead TV, no First Class, Buisness is little more than Economy with prioritized service and a table replacing the middle seat. El Al, on the other hand, handles the Paris route both with the 737s and 767s they send to most European Destinations, as well as 777s (plus the occassional 747 or 787) from its long-haul fleet.[[/note]], that's not gonna change soon.

*** YMMV on that one. While this describes [[WeAllLiveInAmerica intra-U.S. flights]] accurately, it's still a big spectrum with lots of variance. One surprising airline on the opposite extreme of that spectrum is El-Al: It installs expensive missile defense systems [[TheresNoKillLikeOverkill on board all of its planes]], [[CrazyPrepared something no other airline does]], and yet, there's it still has enough spare money to offer free hot meals for ''all'' passengers on ''all'' flights.

** Parodied in TheSimpsons with Rainier "[=McBain=]" Wolfcastle's "Why do men leave the toilet seat up?...[[DontExplainTheJoke That's the joke]]."

* Kids saying the darndest things. Summed up by StewartLee as "Some of the things kids say are mad though. It's like they can only understand the world from the perspective of a child"

* "[[OutsideJoke Why don't they just make the planes out of the black box material?]]" [[labelnote:Because...]]It would be too heavy to fly, and an unbreakable plane [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou wouldn't help all those poor breakable folks inside anyway]].[[/labelnote]]

-> [[TheStinger Thank you! I'll be here all night, folks!]]

Another form is BottomOfTheBarrelJoke, when the comedian uses a raunchy or off-color remark as low-effort "humor."

** It would have ended the series.

* "Why does my VCR always flash '12:00'?" (Reason: You're an idiot who can't comprehend simple procedures.)

* [[OverusedRunningGag Seriously, what is it with airline food?]][[note]]There's nothing wrong with the food. Being at a high altitude causes humans to lose their sense of taste. [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle Now you know what the deal is]].[[/note]]

* [[WhiteDudeBlackDude "White people go like this, but black people go like this!]]"

* "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all week." Said after a joke that didn't go over.