History Main / SomewhereAnEquestrianIsCrying

18th Apr '17 11:11:29 AM Malady
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Finally, in fiction it seems like [[PossessionImpliesMastery anyone presented with a horse will prove capable of riding it]]. This despite riding being an athletic discipline that takes years to master. There's a reason riding is an Olympic sport, after all. You wouldn't try figure skating, doing martial arts or driving a car without prior instruction, would you? Of course, this trope is fairly new. Pre-UsefulNotes/{{World War I}} most people were at least passingly familiar with horses.

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Finally, in fiction it seems like [[PossessionImpliesMastery anyone presented with a horse will prove capable of riding it]]. PossessionImpliesMastery. This despite riding being an athletic discipline that takes years ''years'' to master. There's While anyone can get on a reason riding is an Olympic sport, after all. You wouldn't try figure skating, doing martial arts or driving a car without prior instruction, would you? horse and ride it, it doesn't mean they can do much with it other than sit on it. Of course, this trope is fairly new. Pre-UsefulNotes/{{World War I}} Pre-UsefulNotes/WorldWarI, most people were at least passingly familiar with horses.



* ''VideoGame/SengokuBasara'' is probably not meant to be taken seriously when dealing with horses (or at all, really), as the horses tend to charge down extremely steep cliffs in several scenes, and in one scene horses are shown to [[InASingleBound fly over castle walls]]. Moreover, the horses are never shown to react to any situation and are essentially tools for the characters to use to fast travel. Date's crew actually use horses to simulate a [[AnachronismStew motorcycle gang without the motorcycles]]. This show is also the TropeNamer for MyHorseIsAMotorbike.



* Fuunsaiki is Master Asia's horse in ''Anime/MobileFighterGGundam'' who is trained to use the same incredibly painful Mobile Trace System (a ''very'' skin type suit worn paired with a special cockpit that allows the mobile fighter mecha to [[MotionCaptureMecha match the motions of the pilot]]) that the humans use to pilot a mecha. One wonders what goes through the poor things mind other than "DEAR GOD THIS IS PAINFUL" whenever it's activated. Then again he's [[BadassGrandpa Master Asia's]] [[CoolHorse horse]], so he's probably a badass himself.



* In the Western ''Rattler'' by Barry Andrew Chambers his horse is generally treated like a dog that you put a saddle on. This initially looks like a simple case of AllAnimalsAreDogs but veers off into into potential animal abuse when the horse is fed ''chocolate''. Chocolate, depending on the amount and percent of the cocoa in the mix, can be ''extremely'' toxic to horses. He also feeds, or allows others to feed, his horse pancakes, a blueberry pie, and beef jerky at various points. No one finds anything wrong with this. Additionally, when offered the chance to stable his horse and have it properly groomed and fed, he declines and ties it up outside still saddled for at least a day, possibly longer.

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* In the Western ''Rattler'' ''Literature/{{Rattler}}'' by Barry Andrew Chambers his Chambers, a horse is generally treated like a dog that you put a saddle on. This initially looks like a simple case of AllAnimalsAreDogs AllAnimalsAreDogs, but veers off into into potential animal abuse when the horse is fed ''chocolate''. Chocolate, depending on the amount and percent of the cocoa in the mix, can be ''extremely'' toxic to horses. He also feeds, or allows others to feed, his horse pancakes, a blueberry pie, and beef jerky at various points. No one finds anything wrong with this. Additionally, when offered the chance to stable his horse and have it properly groomed and fed, he declines and ties it up outside still saddled for at least a day, possibly longer.



* ''Literature/ThePrincessAndTheThreeKnights'', a Christian fairy tale by Karen Kingsbury: horses are treated like medieval versions of motorcycles.
* ''Literature/TheSquireAndTheScroll'' a Christian fairy tale by Jennie Bishop: horses are treated like medieval versions of motorcycles.

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* %%* ''Literature/ThePrincessAndTheThreeKnights'', a Christian fairy tale by Karen Kingsbury: horses are treated like medieval versions of motorcycles.
* %%* ''Literature/TheSquireAndTheScroll'' a Christian fairy tale by Jennie Bishop: horses are treated like medieval versions of motorcycles.



* [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] and [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] in ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings,'' where Gandalf's impossibly CoolHorse Shadowfax is able to gallop for miles upon miles because he is just that awesome. He is said to be the [[LastOfHisKind last]] of a breed of especially badass horses with divine ancestry (he is roughly to other horses what elves are to humans), and a groom comments with amazement when Shadowfax arrives in Minas Tirith that he looks like he's spoiling for a race rather than just coming from a long journey. Bottom line, Tolkien knew his stuff, and was acknowledging that no ordinary horse could do this.
* [[PonyTale Pony Tales]] in general usually avert this by a large margin, and often run into the opposite direction -- the stories do sometimes contain outright expo material about whatever topic is tangentially remote to the scene -- from equine nutrition to riding technique.

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* [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] {{Justified|Trope}} and [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d in ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings,'' where Gandalf's impossibly CoolHorse Shadowfax is able to gallop for miles upon miles because he is just that awesome. He is said to be the [[LastOfHisKind last]] of a breed of especially badass horses with divine ancestry (he is roughly to other horses what elves are to humans), and a groom comments with amazement when Shadowfax arrives in Minas Tirith that he looks like he's spoiling for a race rather than just coming from a long journey. Bottom line, Tolkien knew his stuff, and was acknowledging that no ordinary horse could do this.
* [[PonyTale Pony Tales]] {{Pony Tale}}s in general usually avert this by a large margin, and often run into the opposite direction -- the stories do sometimes contain outright expo material about whatever topic is tangentially remote to the scene -- from equine nutrition to riding technique.



* Discussed in ''Literature/TheToughGuideToFantasyland''; horses are treated like bicycles and Diana Wynne Jones concludes that they breed by pollination.



* In ''Literature/TheFirebringerTrilogy'' the main characters are unicorns. The ordinary horses are pretty impressed by what they can pull off.

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* %%* In ''Literature/TheFirebringerTrilogy'' the main characters are unicorns. The ordinary horses are pretty impressed by what they can pull off.



* ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'', while probably not meant to be taken seriously, features AutomatonHorses, and a horse-breaking mini-game that's laughably dangerous to anyone actually familiar with backing horses for the first time. For one thing, you'd never attempt it on a newly lassoed feral horse ''in the middle of the freaking wilderness''.

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* ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'', while probably not meant to be taken seriously, features AutomatonHorses, and a horse-breaking mini-game that's laughably dangerous to anyone actually familiar with backing breaking horses for the first time. For one thing, you'd never attempt it on a newly lassoed feral horse ''in the middle of the freaking wilderness''.



** Lampshaded [[http://hail-nekoyasha.deviantart.com/art/Great-Knight-Kieran-24805939 here]] by Hail-NekoYasha.

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** Lampshaded [[http://hail-nekoyasha.deviantart.com/art/Great-Knight-Kieran-24805939 here]] by Hail-NekoYasha.Hail-NekoYasha, where a spear misses Kieran and gets stuck in the middle of his horse, and both horse and rider live.



* Although not horses, the Deer King and his men one episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Hero 108}}'' grunt, neigh and whinny JUST LIKE HORSES, even though they sound more like [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaPhVcLdz4M this]].
* ''WackyRaces'': In "The Dopey Dakota Derby," Dick Dastardly (impersonating outlaw Deadweed Dick) rides the Mean Machine atop its dome with reins attached to the car's nose and Muttley driving. The car rears up and bucks its front tires like a horse as Dastardly calls out "Hi-yo Mean Machine! Away!"

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* Although not horses, the Deer King and his men one episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Hero 108}}'' ''WesternAnimation/Hero108'' grunt, neigh and whinny JUST LIKE HORSES, even though they sound more like [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaPhVcLdz4M this]].
* ''WackyRaces'': ''WesternAnimation/WackyRaces'': In "The Dopey Dakota Derby," Dick Dastardly (impersonating outlaw Deadweed Dick) rides the Mean Machine atop its dome with reins attached to the car's nose and Muttley driving. The car rears up and bucks its front tires like a horse as Dastardly calls out "Hi-yo Mean Machine! Away!"



25th Mar '17 2:57:13 PM Malady
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* PlayedWith in ''Literature/{{Moonflowers}}'' when TheWildHunt chases Alima Song's group. Fairy-horses can keep up with a car going 100mph, and their leader [[CelticMythology the Horned Hunter]] can jump his horse over said moving car, but they'll ''eventually'' wear out. They also get spooked by gunshots into trampling their fellows due to [[RealityEnsues the logistics of so many large animals running full-throttle in close quarters]], and when [[CarFu Alima's friend Aine rams the car into part of the mob,]] she takes out nearly thirty horses. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] later on when the mechanic who checks Alima's totaled car says that TheFairFolk can breed horses for ''centuries'' without a problem.

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* PlayedWith in ''Literature/{{Moonflowers}}'' when TheWildHunt chases Alima Song's group. Fairy-horses can keep up with a car going 100mph, and their leader [[CelticMythology the Horned Hunter]] can jump his horse over said moving car, but they'll ''eventually'' wear out. They also get spooked by gunshots into trampling their fellows due to [[RealityEnsues the logistics of so many large animals running full-throttle in close quarters]], and when [[CarFu Alima's friend Aine rams the car into part of the mob,]] she takes out nearly thirty horses. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] {{Justified|Trope}} later on when the mechanic who checks Alima's totaled car says that TheFairFolk can breed horses for ''centuries'' without a problem.problem.
* ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'': {{Averted}} or {{subverted}} In [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/791-the-bear-the-bitch-and-everything-part-two The Bear, The Bitch and Everything (Part 2)]] Tansy opines that "the secret to good riding is gripping with your knees" which apparently a hotly debated topic, according to WordOfGod, [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/speculation-101-story-arcs/1662-the-bear-the-bitch-and-everything?start=90#32199 here]]:
--> This is one of the most hotly debated topics in equestrian circles. The answer is...yes. If you're doing certain forms of advanced riding, dressage, steeple chase or barrel, knee gripping is something you [lose] points for because it damages your posture. But for new and inexperienced riders, as I learned, it's a great aid in maintaining your saddle because most horses are trained to SLOW DOWN when you grip them with your knees. Posture in my view is something you worry about once you've mastered staying on the horse.
25th Mar '17 1:44:53 PM Malady
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* Somewhat averted in ''{{Film/Gladiator}}''. When Maximus flees Germania and rides as fast as he can back to Spain, he starts with two horses, and in the next scene we see the second one dying under him, with the implication that he was alternating horses, but still working them too hard.

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* Somewhat averted in ''{{Film/Gladiator}}''.''Film/{{Gladiator}}''. When Maximus flees Germania and rides as fast as he can back to Spain, he starts with two horses, and in the next scene we see the second one dying under him, with the implication that he was alternating horses, but still working them too hard.



* In the Christian fairy tales ''The Princess and the Three Knights'' by Karen Kingsbury and ''The Squire and the Scroll'' by Jennie Bishop, horses are treated like medieval versions of motorcycles.

to:

* In the ''Literature/ThePrincessAndTheThreeKnights'', a Christian fairy tales ''The Princess and the Three Knights'' tale by Karen Kingsbury and ''The Squire and the Scroll'' Kingsbury: horses are treated like medieval versions of motorcycles.
* ''Literature/TheSquireAndTheScroll'' a Christian fairy tale
by Jennie Bishop, Bishop: horses are treated like medieval versions of motorcycles.



* Probably the most blatant example is in ''[[Literature/TheInheritanceCycle Eragon]]''. Paolini seems to be under the impression that horses can gallop for hundreds of leagues for days on end on nothing but a few crops of desert grass and sips of dirty water. This is especially inexcusable since Paolini is a Montanan and should know better.

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* Probably the most blatant example is in ''[[Literature/TheInheritanceCycle Eragon]]''. ''Literature/TheInheritanceCycle'': Paolini seems appears to be under the impression that horses can gallop for hundreds of leagues for days on end on nothing but a few crops of desert grass and sips of dirty water. This is especially inexcusable since Paolini is a Montanan and should know better. water.



* ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'': In [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/791-the-bear-the-bitch-and-everything-part-two The Bear, The Bitch and Everything (Part 2)]] Tansy opines that "the secret to good riding is gripping with your knees" which is exactly what you're '''not''' supposed to do while riding a horse. Although, that may have just been her opinion.
25th Mar '17 1:41:04 PM Malady
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* Epona, Link's horse in ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]'', is similarly invincible (as are you when riding) and while she has a stamina system, it runs on carrots... She also won't object if you shoot her in the head with arrows (she does whinny at you, though).
* In the ''[[Franchise/TheElderScrolls Elder Scrolls]]'' games the player could ride horses over vast territories with no resting (of course, the PC also never needs to rest, or eatóboth activities give temporary bonuses rather than, y'know, staving off ''death''). Tamriel's horses are also a lot less fragile than real life horses, being able to survive (and not be lamed by) big falls...and fight off bears (and in the [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim fifth one]], ''dragons'').

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* ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime'': Epona, Link's horse in ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]'', in, is similarly invincible (as are you when riding) and while she has a stamina system, it runs on carrots... She also won't object if you shoot her in the head with arrows (she does whinny at you, though).
* In the ''[[Franchise/TheElderScrolls Elder Scrolls]]'' games the ''Franchise/TheElderScrolls'': The player could ride horses over vast territories with no resting (of course, the PC also never needs to rest, or eatóboth activities give temporary bonuses rather than, y'know, staving off ''death''). Tamriel's horses are also a lot less fragile than real life horses, being able to survive (and not be lamed by) big falls... and fight off bears (and in the [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim fifth one]], ''dragons'').



* In ''VideoGame/FireEmblem'' horses never seem to get injured by attacks that seemingly hit them instead. Even worse when, due to the fact that they face the opponent head on, any attack the enemy lands hits the horse's head. Good thing the damage somehow is magically dealt to the rider, though in some games the horses seem to die when the rider dies too.

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* In ''VideoGame/FireEmblem'' ''VideoGame/FireEmblem'': The horses never seem to get injured by attacks that seemingly hit them instead. Even worse when, due to the fact that they face the opponent head on, any attack the enemy lands hits the horse's head. Good thing the damage somehow is magically dealt to the rider, though in some games the horses seem to die when the rider dies too.



* In ''VideoGame/StarStable'', you have your usual AutomatonHorses who can gallop for as long as you ask and who merely become unhappy when you forget to feed and water them. While those could be excused as AcceptableBreaksFromReality, your horse will also [[RearingHorse rear on his hind legs if you ask him to stop quickly]]; any horse who routinely did this would be deemed unsafe to ride and sent for immediate retraining, not leased out to the noob for a summer of fun.

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* In ''VideoGame/StarStable'', you have your usual AutomatonHorses who can gallop for as long as you ask and who merely become unhappy when you forget to feed and water them. While those could be excused as AcceptableBreaksFromReality, your horse will also [[RearingHorse rear on his hind legs if you ask him to stop quickly]]; any horse who routinely did this would be deemed unsafe to ride and sent for immediate retraining, not leased out to the a noob for a summer of fun.



* PlayedWith in ''{{Literature/Moonflowers}}'' when TheWildHunt chases Alima Song's group. Fairy-horses can keep up with a car going 100mph, and their leader [[CelticMythology the Horned Hunter]] can jump his horse over said moving car, but they'll ''eventually'' wear out. They also get spooked by gunshots into trampling their fellows due to [[RealityEnsues the logistics of so many large animals running full-throttle in close quarters]], and when [[CarFu Alima's friend Aine rams the car into part of the mob,]] she takes out nearly thirty horses. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] later on when the mechanic who checks Alima's totaled car says that TheFairFolk can breed horses for ''centuries'' without a problem.
* it's a good thing the various authors of the WhateleyUniverse stories tend to rely on AutomatonHorses so they can skip the details because whenever they do try to delve into the details they're usually [[CriticalResearchFailure hilariously off base.]] One recent story even had a character opine ""the secret to good riding is gripping with your knees" which is exactly what you're '''not''' supposed to do while riding a horse.

to:

* PlayedWith in ''{{Literature/Moonflowers}}'' ''Literature/{{Moonflowers}}'' when TheWildHunt chases Alima Song's group. Fairy-horses can keep up with a car going 100mph, and their leader [[CelticMythology the Horned Hunter]] can jump his horse over said moving car, but they'll ''eventually'' wear out. They also get spooked by gunshots into trampling their fellows due to [[RealityEnsues the logistics of so many large animals running full-throttle in close quarters]], and when [[CarFu Alima's friend Aine rams the car into part of the mob,]] she takes out nearly thirty horses. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] later on when the mechanic who checks Alima's totaled car says that TheFairFolk can breed horses for ''centuries'' without a problem.
* it's a good thing the various authors of the WhateleyUniverse stories tend to rely on AutomatonHorses so they can skip the details because whenever they do try to delve into the details they're usually [[CriticalResearchFailure hilariously off base.]] One recent story even had a character opine ""the ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'': In [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/791-the-bear-the-bitch-and-everything-part-two The Bear, The Bitch and Everything (Part 2)]] Tansy opines that "the secret to good riding is gripping with your knees" which is exactly what you're '''not''' supposed to do while riding a horse.horse. Although, that may have just been her opinion.
25th Mar '17 11:42:54 AM JustKnown
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* Averted in ''Film/SheWoreAYellowRibbon'', where the love interest character teases a cavalry officer about all the time they spend walking and he pedantically explains that they have to do this to keep the horses healthy. Since having a horse was essentially the whole difference between being a foot soldier and a cavalryman it behooved them to keep their horses as healthy and rested as possible.

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* Averted in ''Film/SheWoreAYellowRibbon'', ''Film/SheWoreAYellowRibbon'' where the love interest character teases a cavalry officer about all the time they spend walking and he pedantically explains that they have to do this to keep the horses healthy. Since having a horse was essentially the whole difference between being a foot soldier and a cavalryman it behooved them to keep their horses as healthy and rested as possible.



* The film of ''Literature/WarHorse'' is just crazy from this point of view- at one point Albert (the human) shows Joey (the horse) how to pull a plough, by putting the harness over his own head. This is almost exactly unlike the way one trains a horse to harness. Also, the way the film strings together horse behaviours to make the horse more "character-like" specifically by making him behave more like some kind of weird dog, means that to anyone with the slightest knowledge of equestrian behaviour the horse appears ''actually insane''. However the stage play, which the film was inspired by, was beautifully observed and executed.

to:

* The film of ''Literature/WarHorse'' is just crazy from this point of view- at one point Albert (the human) shows Joey (the horse) how to pull a plough, plough by putting the harness over his own head. This is almost exactly unlike the way one trains a horse to harness. Also, the way the film strings together horse behaviours to make the horse more "character-like" specifically by making him behave more like some kind of weird dog, means that to anyone with the slightest knowledge of equestrian behaviour the horse appears ''actually insane''. However the stage play, which the film was inspired by, was beautifully observed and executed.



* Just about any war movie featuring cavalry, which has them charging into battle at the gallop. If a charge were delivered this way over any distance, the horses would be exhausted and out of breath by the time they closed with the enemy, and the formation would be totally broken, making the impact ineffective. Charges were more often delivered at the trot for most of the way, with only a full-out "charge" for the last bit.

to:

* Just about any war movie featuring cavalry, which has them cavalry charging into battle at the gallop. If a charge were delivered this way over any distance, the horses would be exhausted and out of breath by the time they closed with the enemy, and the formation would be totally broken, making the impact ineffective. Charges were more often delivered at the trot for most of the way, with only a full-out "charge" for the last bit.stretch. For example, the U.S Army's guidance for a 1500 yard charge called for 620 yards at the trot, 440 yards at a "maneuvering gallop" (canter), and 440 yards "gallop and charge".



* In aversion, ''Film/BiteTheBullet'' includes several scenes showing the toll the 700 mile race has on the horses. In inexperience rookie runs his horse to death in the desert. Another comes up lame and has to be shot by its rider. In the end, the main character dismounts and removes the saddle from his horse and along with his friend, walks across the finish line.

to:

* In aversion, ''Film/BiteTheBullet'' includes several scenes showing the toll the 700 mile race has on the horses. In inexperience One inexperienced rookie runs his horse to death in the desert. Another comes up lame and has to be shot by its rider. In the end, the main character dismounts and removes the saddle from his horse and along with his friend, walks across the finish line.
25th Mar '17 11:16:35 AM JustKnown
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* ''WesternAnimation/SpiritStallionOfTheCimarron''.

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* ''WesternAnimation/SpiritStallionOfTheCimarron''. Spirit has ''eyebrows'' despite being anatomically accurate in almost every other respect. The animators freely admit they decided to add the eyebrows because that was the least intrusive way of giving him a human-like range of expression.
25th Mar '17 10:48:31 AM JustKnown
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Added DiffLines:

* it's a good thing the various authors of the WhateleyUniverse stories tend to rely on AutomatonHorses so they can skip the details because whenever they do try to delve into the details they're usually [[CriticalResearchFailure hilariously off base.]] One recent story even had a character opine ""the secret to good riding is gripping with your knees" which is exactly what you're '''not''' supposed to do while riding a horse.


Added DiffLines:

2nd Mar '17 2:09:33 PM cdrood
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Added DiffLines:

* In aversion, ''Film/BiteTheBullet'' includes several scenes showing the toll the 700 mile race has on the horses. In inexperience rookie runs his horse to death in the desert. Another comes up lame and has to be shot by its rider. In the end, the main character dismounts and removes the saddle from his horse and along with his friend, walks across the finish line.
11th Feb '17 9:31:11 AM LordofChoices
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** Also throughout the series are references to travelers in a great hurry riding several horses to death. Even main characters have done this when their need was very dire (although never with [[NominativeImportance named horses]]).

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** Also throughout the series are references to travelers in a great hurry riding several horses to death. Even main characters have done this when their need was very dire (although never with [[NominativeImportance [[NominalImportance named horses]]).
6th Jan '17 9:57:42 AM Morgenthaler
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Finally, in fiction it seems like [[PossessionImpliesMastery anyone presented with a horse will prove capable of riding it]]. This despite riding being an athletic discipline that takes years to master. There's a reason riding is an Olympic sport, after all. You wouldn't try figure skating, doing martial arts or driving a car without prior instruction, would you? Of course, this trope is fairly new. Pre-{{World War I}} most people were at least passingly familiar with horses.

to:

Finally, in fiction it seems like [[PossessionImpliesMastery anyone presented with a horse will prove capable of riding it]]. This despite riding being an athletic discipline that takes years to master. There's a reason riding is an Olympic sport, after all. You wouldn't try figure skating, doing martial arts or driving a car without prior instruction, would you? Of course, this trope is fairly new. Pre-{{World Pre-UsefulNotes/{{World War I}} most people were at least passingly familiar with horses.
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