History Main / RealMenHateAffection

** In "Homer's Phobia", Homer, fearing Bart was gay, took him out to try and spend time with him. [[HilarityEnsues It does not go well.]]

** [[GenderBender Boy-turned-girl]] Matsuri [[DifferentForGirls stands out from the others girls]] by being more aloof and distant. He grows to open up emotionally, but is still taken aback by physical contact and almost never initiates it himself. Partly, this is because [[OneOfTheGirls most of Matsuri's friends are girls]], but he thinks touching any of them is wrong so long as he still thinks of himself as a boy ([[DoubleStandard even if he doesn't demand girls show the same restraint]]). Toward [[TheOneGuy Soga]], he's usually cheerful, adoring, and even a bit of a CuddleBug.

* In ''Webcomic/{{Sinfest}}'',
** [[http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2054 In the pimp story]], this produces AllergicToLove.
** when Squigley confesses to a Trike Feminist about his attempt to quit porn, [[http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=4299 he realizes he's getting all emotionally vulnerable and purposefully retreats.]]

This is a ''huge'' DoubleStandard, as it implies that men to show affection are weak and/or swing the other way, but it is normal for women to do the same. Said double standard also underlies many cases of ShippingGoggles; if a pair of male HeterosexualLifePartners in fiction are more affectionate to each other than what is commonly expected for men, expect shippers to pair them up even if the work never intended to portray them as a romantic couple at any point.

* In ''Film/PulpFiction'', [[Creator/JohnTravolta Vincent Vega]] invokes this trope in a SeinfeldianConversation with [[Creator/SamuelLJackson Jules Winnfield]] about a fellow gangster who got [[DestinationDefenestration thrown out a window]] on the orders of [[TheDon their boss Marsellus Wallace]]. After mentioning the rumor that the incident was revenge for giving [[Creator/VingRhames Marsellus's]] wife [[Creator/UmaThurman Mia]] a [[AuthorAppeal foot massage]], Jules mentions that he doesn't see a foot massage as intimate enough to warrant [[DisproportionateRetribution that kind of payback]]. Vincent retorts with the ArmorPiercingQuestion "would you give a guy a foot massage?"

* In ''Film/PulpFiction'', [[Creator/JohnTravolta Vincent Vega]] invokes this trope in a SeinfeldianConversation with [[Creator/SamuelLJackson Jules Winnfield]]. When Vincent explains how [[TheDon their boss Marsellus Wallace]] had another gangster [[DestinationDefenestration thrown out a window]], allegedly as revenge for that gangster giving [[Creator/VingRhames Marsellus's]] wife [[Creator/UmaThurman Mia]] a [[AuthorAppeal foot massage]], Jules mentions that he doesn't see a foot massage as intimate enough to warrant [[DisproportionateRetribution that kind of payback]]. Vincent retorts with the ArmorPiercingQuestion "would you give a guy a foot massage?"

* In ''Film/PulpFiction'', [[Creator/JohnTravolta Vincent Vega]] invokes this trope in a SeinfeldianConversation with [[Creator/SamuelLJackson Jules Winnfield]]. When Vincent mentions that [[TheDon their boss Marsellus Wallace]] had another gangster [[DestinationDefenestration thrown out a window]], allegedly as revenge for that gangster giving [[Creator/VingRhames Marsellus's]] wife [[Creator/UmaThurman Mia]] a [[AuthorAppeal foot massage]], Jules mentions that he doesn't see a foot massage as intimate enough to warrant [[DisproportionateRetribution that kind of payback]]. Vincent retorts with the ArmorPiercingQuestion "would you give a guy a foot massage?"

* In ''Film/PulpFiction'', [[Creator/JohnTravolta Vincent Vega]] invokes this trope in a SeinfeldianConversation with [[Creator/SamuelLJackson Jules Winnfield]]. When Vincent mentions that their boss [[Creator/VingRhames Marsellus Wallace]] had another gangster [[DestinationDefenestration thrown out a window]], allegedly as revenge for that gangster giving [[TheDon Marsellus's]] wife [[Creator/UmaThurman Mia]] a [[AuthorAppeal foot massage]], Jules mentions that he doesn't see a foot massage as intimate enough to warrant [[DisproportionateRetribution that kind of payback]]. Vincent retorts with the ArmorPiercingQuestion "would you give a guy a foot massage?"

* In ''Film/PulpFiction'', [[Creator/JohnTravolta Vincent Vega]] invokes this trope in a SeinfeldianConversation with [[Creator/SamuelLJackson Jules Winnfield]]. When Vincent mentions that their boss [[Creator/VingRhames Marsellus Wallace]] had another gangster [[DestinationDefenestration thrown out a window]] for giving [[TheDon Marsellus's]] wife [[Creator/UmaThurman Mia]] a [[AuthorAppeal foot massage]], Jules expresses surprise at what he considers DisproportionateRetribution, then explains how he doesn't see a foot massage as intimate enough to warrant that kind of comeuppance. Vincent retorts with the ArmorPiercingQuestion "would you give a guy a foot massage?"

[[caption-width-right:350:''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Wow. I am so uncomfortable right now.]]'']]

This is a ''huge'' DoubleStandard, as it implies that men to show affection are weak, but it is normal for women to do the same. Said double standard also underlies many cases of ShippingGoggles; if a pair of male HeterosexualLifePartners in fiction are more affectionate to each other than what is commonly expected for men, expect shippers to pair them up even if the work never intended to portray them as a romantic couple at any point.

This is a ''huge'' DoubleStandard, as it implies that men to show affection are weak, but it is normal for women to do the same. Said double standard also underlies many cases of ShippingGoogles; if a pair of male HeterosexualLifePartners in fiction are more affectionate to each other than what is commonly expected for men, expect shippers to pair them up even if the work never intended to portray them as a romantic couple at any point.

This is a ''huge'' DoubleStandard, as it implies that men who show affection are weak, but it is normal for women to be affectionate.

* Discussed in ''WesternAnimation/IceAge3DawnOfTheDinosaurs'':

* Averted in ''Film/AcrossTheUniverse'', with Max and Jude. They only knew each other for about a year, yet they are doing the MeadowRun by the film's end.

* ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'''': proud he-man Ron Swanson visibly ''squirms'' when he is hugged.

** In one episode Tim's boss and friend Mr. Binford dies. Both Al and Tim's wife Jill get on his case for not mourning openly, while Tim wonders why it's a big deal if he doesn't turn on the waterworks like they do.[[note]]In Tim's defense, he lost his dad when he was 11 years old and he coped with it by acting as if everything was normal afterwards.[[/note]] At the same time, Tim is disturbed to hear Brad [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame complimenting him]] for taking the loss "like a real man" and [[MenDontCry not crying]]:

** In one episode Tim's boss and friend Mr. Binford dies. Both Al and Tim's wife Jill get on his case for not mourning openly, while Tim wonders why it's a big deal if he doesn't turn on the waterworks like they do.[[note]]In Tim's defense, he lost his dad when he was 11 years old and he coped with it by acting as if everything was normal afterwards.[[/note]] At the same time, Brad compliments him for taking the loss "like a real man" and not crying, which bothers Tim greatly:

--->'''Brad:''' Well, the great part about it is, no one can tell.

Also, don't expect teenage boys to be sensitive even with their own fathers. After a rare personal talk, no matter how short, always expect an awkward silence followed by a throat clearing, and a quick mumble of "I gotta go" or "that was a good talk, son". You can also expect lots of nervous hand shakes, but never a hug, [[ManHug at least not any longer than three seconds]].

This is a relatively recent trope, and of varying geographical distribution. Until around the eighteenth century, it was expected of "men of sensibility"[[labelnote:*]]until some time in the 19th century, "sensibility" meant something rather more like what we would call "sensitivity"[[/labelnote]] to show their emotions much more openly (as in Literature/TheSongOfRoland, in which the heroic French weep and faint away in groups of twenty thousand at a time). Even PDA between males was much more common as little as a hundred and fifty years ago, though generally more restrained in Anglophone countries (with their Puritan traditions) than elsewhere. (Nineteenth century English diarists record their horror at seeing male Frenchmen and Germans kissing each other on the mouth, though this gesture had been actually more common among all genders in England than elsewhere up to the time of the Civil Wars.)

* ''Manhwa/{{Chonchu}}'' plays with the concept. While the eponymous main character may appear as a your regular AxCrazy BloodKnight who lives to kill, deep down he ''really'' wants to be shown affection, especially from a woman who could soothe his damaged mind and calm his outbursts. And the only woman who can do that in the series so far is, quite ironically, his nemesis' fiancée.

* ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'': Played straight with Ranma and his father, Genma. They never hug or tell each other that they care; they very rarely have personal talks. The thought of getting parental affection from his dad is so weird to Ranma that Genma once used an attack against him that consisted only of an overly affectionate hug, which totally freaked him out. Growing up with the Real Men Hate Affection mindset could explain why he [[HatesBeingTouched doesn't really like being touched]] and seems to only have love/hate relationships with the people he's closest to. (i.e. [[ThreeAmigos Ryoga, Akane,]] etc.)

[[folder: Comic Books]]

[[folder: Fan Works]]

* ''Fanfic/ChildOfTheStorm'' goes out of its way to discuss and argue against this trope, with Thor (formerly James Potter. It's that kind of story) early on gently telling Harry that there is no shame in tears, and they don't make you weaker or more childish - indeed, [[ManlyTears he is known to shed them himself]]. Asgardians as a whole are much less uptight about such things, while human men tend to be a little more awkward about it. In any case, Harry takes this lesson onboard when coming out of his emotional repression, and becomes notably more openly affectionate, welcoming hugs and gestures of affection, becoming considerably better adjusted as a result. However, as is noted in chapter 48 of the sequel, Harry is distinctly unusual among his peers in this respect, with Sean Cassidy noting that the kind of shoulder clasp or hug that Harry would appreciate would be firmly rejected by Ron, and most other teenage boys, precisely because of this mentality.

* ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'': Despite the two being brothers, they are too embarrassed to hug in public, so whenever they share a tender moment, they will give each others a "quick hug" which involves wrapping their arms around each other for a split second and then looking away. Averted in private, though.

* ''Series/{{Frasier}}'': In episode "Breaking the Ice", the trope is deconstructed with Martin. While Frasier and Niles know Martin loves them even though he can't express it, Martin complains that he ''wants'' to be able to express it, and his wife Hester used to nag him about showing affection for his sons.
* ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'': Anytime Carlton wants to hug Will, or even spend time talking to one another, Carlton is all for it, while Will puts on his Manly Face and bears it. Occasionally inverted. In the episode where Will gets shot he asks Carlton to give him a hug and Carlton is reluctant to do it. Possibly because[[spoiler: Carlton started carrying a gun and didn't want Will to see it.]]

-->'''Tim:''' Oohhh, you're getting that "I'm going to hug you" look; I ''don't'' like that, Al!
-->'''Al:''' Just a little one!
-->'''Tim:''' No, Al, I-- ''[Al [[TheGlomp glomps]] him]'' AAAA! You're fired!
-->'''Al:''' I am not, you big friend, you!

* In an episode of ''{{Series/Frasier}}'', the title character expresses his frustration that "we've become a society of huggers." This comes a bit out of left field, as in other episodes he doesn't show the same reluctance to show affection, and has complained about his father's inability to say "[[PlatonicDeclarationOfLove I love you]]" to him. Perhaps it was because the man in this case is a coworker he barely knows.

[[folder:Literature]]
* Inverted in ''Literature/ABrothersPrice''; Eldest Whistler explains to Jerin that she doesn't blame him for being too trusting, as that's how boys are brought up - she notes that his little brother would allow himself to be hugged by a stranger, while the girls would check for weapons, first. Due to male GenderRarityValue, boys are sheltered and cuddled and spoiled, which makes them much more prone to displays of affection than the girls (who are brought up to be able to defend themselves and their brothers).
* In ''Literature/HarryPotter'', Ron's usual display of affection was clapping Harry on the back. In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince'' he's so thrilled to see Harry he practically assaults him, much to Hermione's chagrin.
** They do hug in ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows Deathly Hallows]],'' however, after some intense issues are worked out (including an ImaginaryLoveTriangle with Hermione). J.K. Rowling noted that her American editor (or someone like that) wanted them to hug during a similar but less intense scene in the [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire fourth book]], but according to J.K. [[StiffUpperLip British men]] [[TruthInTelevision do not show affection that easily]].
* In ''Literature/{{Hurog}}'', Ward has an emotional scene with his brother Tosten, and lampshades this trope by pointing out that, thanks to his father (who was an affection-hating real man) he still isn't able to properly show affection to his brother. Averted in other parts of the series, he's very affectionate towards his sister, Ciarra, and occasionally shows his caring side when Oreg is having one of his PTSD-moments.
* A repeated gag in the works of Creator/DaveBarry. Just as men cannot comprehend why women would buy entirely useless gifts for people they met maybe once, so women will never understand that men do not need to talk at length about their feelings even among friends ([[WomenAreWiser since they function at a more basic level]]).
[[/folder]]

* PlayedForLaughs in ''Webcomic/BusterWildeWeerwolf'' when [[http://www.furnation.com/BusterWilde/comics/buster022.gif Hector is slightly disgusted]] by Buster and Gordon's over-the-top reconcilation after Gordon slapped Buster.

[[folder:Stand Up Comedy]]
* Comedian Creator/BillBurr has a theory that men have a lower average life expectancy than women because of all the stress that builds up from their asshole "[=DudeBro=]" friends calling them "fag" any time they show any signs of caring, kindness or sensitivity.
** He might be on to something. At least one study said that women might live longer because they process stress and emotion better. If a woman feels bad, she'll have a good cry or talk it out with her friends, whereas a man tends to bottle it up. All that stress wears on you over time.
** The higher suicide rate in men is probably a related issue- even the fact that men are more likely to ignore symptoms of illness for too long. This is also thought to be the reason why men are more likely to become alcoholics, and women more likely to get depression.
* Another comedian: "The only time a man is allowed to show any emotion is when he is sitting at his dying father's bedside. Only then is he allowed to say '[[PlatonicDeclarationOfLove I love you]]" and allow a SingleTear (just one!) to fall. But what if he pulls through? I think I'd actually have to kill him 'cause neither of us would be able to stand the embarrassment."
[[/folder]]

* ''Manga/DeathNote'': Interestingly inverted, where [[VillainProtagonist Light Yagami]]'s hatred of ''female'' affection cements his status as AmbiguouslyGay. A SerialKiller BadassGay, but gay nonetheless.

* ''Series/{{Frasier}}: In episode "Breaking the Ice", the trope is deconstructed with Martin. While Frasier and Niles know Martin loves them even though he can't express it, Martin complains that he ''wants'' to be able to express it, and his wife Hester used to nag him about showing affection for his sons.

** In one episode Tim's boss and friend Mr. Binford dies. Both Al and Tim's wife Jill get on his case for not mourning openly, while Tim wonders why it's a big deal if he doesn't turn on the waterworks like they do.[[note]]In Tim's defense, he lost his dad when he was 11 years old and he coped with by acting as if everything was normal afterwards.[[/note]] At the same time, Brad compliments him for taking the loss "like a real man" and not crying, which bothers Tim greatly: