History Main / RealMenHateAffection

[[AC:RealLife]]
* [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Heartwarmingly]] subverted in this Website/YouTube video where a dad pretends to not hug his little boy because it's 'un-manly', yet kids around and cuddles with his son afterward.

* In ''{{Supernatural}}'', Dean Winchester often acts like this, rather to Sam's annoyance.

* [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Heartwarmingly]] subverted in this Website/YouTube [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNau6FnW_BE video]] where a dad pretends to not hug his little boy because it's 'un-manly', yet kids around and cuddles with his son afterward.

* There is a scene in ''Series/{{Merlin}}'' which fits this trope to a tee: Merlin and Arthur have a Friendship Moment, and Merlin moves to hug Arthur, feeling it was the logical follow-up. Arthur doesn't quite see it that way. After an awkward moment, Arthur rolls his eyes and leaves. Merlin just smiles.

* Played with by "A Father's Love", sung by Bucky Covington and High Valley (not sure which is the original and which is the cover). The song talks about the singer's dad and how he wasn't all that affectionate, but helped out with home maintenance, checking the oil and filling the tires his car, and so on. The singer admits that "I didn't see it then, but I see it now: he was saying 'I love you' the only way he knew how." It's treated just as valid as physical affection, just more subtle. (Also averted by the singer himself, by the line "I knew he'd stiffen up, but I hugged him anyway.")

** They do hug in ''Deathly Hallows,'' however, after some intense issues are worked out (including an ImaginaryLoveTriangle with Hermione). J.K. Rowling noted that her American editor (or someone like that) wanted them to hug during a similar but less intense scene in the fourth book, but according to J.K. [[TruthInTelevision British men do not show affection that easily]].

* Zigzagged in spades in ''{{Berserk}}''. The main male characters, Guts and Griffith, can be described as ambitious, ruthless, {{Jerk Ass}}es, [[MenAreUncultured uncultured]] in the case of Guts, and [[CompleteMonster a monster]] in the case of Griffith ([[HeWhoFightsMonsters and almost with Guts]]), but one thing for sure is that they're '''not''' afraid to talk about their feelings in very [[WarriorPoet poetic manners]], especially to one another ([[HoYay making certain implications arise]]). In the case of Guts, he can switch from being [[http://www.mangakong.com/manga/Berserk/037.047/210 a gruff jerk]] to being [[http://www.mangakong.com/manga/Berserk/037.047/211 very tender]] [[http://www.mangakong.com/manga/Berserk/037.047/212 and caring]].

* The two ''BillAndTed'' movies both have moments where the boys respond to a display of male affection with "Fag!" In the first, it follows a ManHug between the boys when it turned out that Ted wasn't killed by an evil knight. In the second, the boys say it to their evil robot duplicates to try and stave off death; the robots deliver the line, then [[DisneyDeath throw them off]] KirksRock anyway.

** Then there's the episode where Tim's boss and friend Mr. Binford dies. Both Al and Tim's wife Jill get on his case for not mourning openly, while Tim wonders why it's a big deal if he doesn't turn on the waterworks like they do. At the same time, Brad compiments him for taking the loss "like a real man" and not crying, which bothers Tim greatly:

* TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir: Anytime Carlton wants to hug Will, or even spend time talking to one another. Carlton is all for it, while Will puts on his Manly Face and bares it.

** He might be on to something. At least one study said that women might live longer because they process stress and emotion better. If a women feels bad, she'll have a good cry or talk it out with her friends, whereas a man tends to bottle it up. All that stress wears on you over time.

* TheFreshPrinceofBelAir: Anytime Carlton wants to hug Will, or even spend time talking to one another. Carlton is all for it, while Will puts on his Manly Face and bares it.

* Averted in WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender where the main characters often share hugs and other shows of affections. The ones that are arguably most poignant are Zuko and his [[FatherFigure Uncle Iroh]]; when the two of them embrace in the finale, its widely considered a CrowningMomentofHeartwarming.

This is a relatively recent trope, and of varying geographical distribution. Until around the eighteenth century, it was expected of "men of sensibility"[[hottip:*:until some time in the 19th century, "sensibility" meant something rather more like what we would call "sensitivity"]] to show their emotions much more openly (as in The Song Of Roland, in which the heroic French weep and faint away in groups of twenty thousand at a time). Even PDA between males was much more common as little as a hundred and fifty years ago, though generally more restrained in Anglophone countries (with their Puritan traditions) than elsewhere. (19th century English diarists record their horror at seeing male Frenchmen and Germans kissing each other on the mouth, though this gesture had been actually more common among all genders in England than elsewhere up to the time of the Civil Wars.)

-->--'''Cotton Hill''', ''KingOfTheHill''

Also, don't expect teenage boys to be sensitive even with their own fathers. After a rare personal talk, no matter how short, always expect an awkward silence followed by a throat clearing, and a quick mumble of "I gotta go" or "that was a good talk, son". You can also expect lots of nervous hand shakes, but never a hug, [[ManHug at least not any longer than three seconds]]. This is a ''huge'' DoubleStandard, as it implies that men who show affection are weak, but it is normal for women to be affectionate.

As the title implies, examples of this trope are almost AlwaysMale, but inversions are welcome.
This also only usually applies to male bonding.

!!Examples:

* ''RanmaOneHalf'': Played straight with Ranma and his father, Genma. They never hug or tell each other that they care; they very rarely have personal talks. The thought of getting parental affection from his dad is so weird to Ranma that Genma once used an attack against him that consisted only of an overly affectionate hug, which totally freaked him out. Growing up with the Real Men Hate Affection mindset could explain why he [[HatesBeingTouched doesn't really like being touched]] and seems to only have love/hate relationships with the people he's closest to. (i.e. [[ThreeAmigos Ryoga, Akane,]] etc.)

[[AC:{{Film}}]]

[[AC:{{Film}}-Animation]]

* Averted in {{Disney/Aladdin}}, the (arguably) most important relationship in the film is between Aladdin and Genie, two male characters. They are often shown talking about their feelings and hug multiple times, all while averting the trappings of HoYay, and neither coming off as unmanly.

[[AC:LiveActionTelevision]]
* There is a scene in ''{{Series/Merlin}}'' which fits this trope to a tee: Merlin and Arthur have a Friendship Moment, and Merlin moves to hug Arthur, feeling it was the logical follow-up. Arthur doesn't quite see it that way. After an awkward moment, Arthur rolls his eyes and leaves. Merlin just smiles.

* The Father and son talk variant is inverted, brilliantly in an episode of ''{{iCarly}}''. Spencer and Carly are both visibly uncomfortable as Spencer tries to give Carly TheTalk.

* Averted in ''HowIMetYourMother'' with Marshall. He is very affectionate and emotional, and he tells his father everything, literally.
* ''{{Friends}}'' also averted this with Chandler and Joey who were very close, ''did'' talk about their feelings and often engaged in hugging.

** Angela is the rare female example, hating affection as much as Dwight, making them perfect for each other.

[[AC:{{Literature}}]]

** They do hug in ''Deathly Hallows,'' however, after some intense issues are worked out (including an ImaginaryLoveTriangle with Hermione). J.K. Rowling noted that her American editor (or someone like that) wanted them to hug during a similar but less intense scene in the fourth book, but according to J.K. [[TruthInTelevision British men do not show affection that easily]].

[[AC:Music]]

[[AC:{{Theater}}]]

* Yahtzee from ''ZeroPunctuation'' does this often.

[[AC:WesternAnimation]]

* Most of ''KingOfTheHill'' is like this, with Hank being mortified whenever Bobby doesn't follow this trope.

* Averted in AvatarTheLastAirbender where the main characters often share hugs and other shows of affections. The ones that are arguably most poignant are Zuko and his [[FatherFigure Uncle Iroh]]; when the two of them embrace in the finale, its widely considered a CrowningMomentofHeartwarming.

* Comedian Bill Burr has a theory that men have a lower average life expectancy than women because of all the stress that builds up from their asshole "[=DudeBro=]" friends calling them "fag" any time they show any signs of caring, kindness or sensitivity.

* [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Heartwarmingly]] subverted in this YouTube [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNau6FnW_BE video]] where a dad pretends to not hug his little boy because it's 'un-manly', yet kids around and cuddles with his son afterward.

* Kirk and Spock's complete aversion of this trope in ''StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' led to the creation of the first {{Slash Fic}}s. Particularly interesting since Vulcans dislike showing emotion in general, so Spock's obvious affection for Kirk effectively breaks two sets of social rules.

* In {{Pippin}} when the title character returns home from the university of Padua, he and his father almost hug, but wind up shaking hands. Pippin then attempts to talk to him about his feelings of emptiness and quest to find something meaningful, but his father fobs him off with cliches and 'well I've got to go.' By the way, his father is Charlemagne. Yes, ''that'' one.

* Yahtzee from ''[[ZeroPunctuation]] does this often.