History Main / ParentalBlamelessness

This can relate to bad parenting, which is all too common, so no RealLife examples, please.

* ''Literature/TheRemainsOfTheDay'': the protagonist's father tells him while lying on his deathbed: "I hope I've been a good father. I tried me best." A rather understated example, as he does not state it in reaction to any accusations and in fact hopes that his best really was good enough.

* ''Series/MysteriousWays'': The episode "Condemned", which treats issues of atonement and forgiveness, centers on a convicted killer whose execution has been delayed following a power outage. When his lawyer fails at an attempt to stop the execution, he gets upset about it and throws a fit before his mother, who is visiting him in prison. She starts getting emotional and he tells her: "Don't worry. You won't have to see me here much longer." She calls him out on saying such a hurtful thing and the following transpires:

Shortly afterward, [[spoiler: Luther's mother dies. By the end of the episode, the execution has been re-scheduled, and shortly before it is about to take place, Luther has received formal forgiveness from his victim's mother. Just before the execution, when asked if he has any final words, a now penitent Luther deeply apologizes to his victim's mother and states that he is sorry for having given his own mother a life of suffering and pain.]]

* ''Webcomic/JoeVsElanSchool'': Becomes the defining trait of Mr. and Mrs. Nobody in . After their son Joe returns from the abusive Elan School, they repeatedly ignore his protests that the school was abusive, and tell Joe that they were in the right for leaving him there for three years. They insist that Joe is just an ungrateful brat and bad kid rather than a person who is suffering PTSD, they believe the school's line that any talk of abuse is their child trying to manipulate them, and they brush off any other survivor testimony as false.

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* ''ComicBook/RobinSeries'': Jack Drake's reaction to Tim making a joke about or even seeming like he's about to question Tim's incredibly neglectful upbringing is to scream at him for being disrespectful and not understanding how hard Jack claims to have worked at being a father, usually paired with Jack destroying some of Tim's things.

[[folder:Religion]]
* Invoked in ''[[Literature/BookOfHebrews Hebrews 12:9-10]]'' in ''[[Literature/TheBible the Bible]]'', as part of the following analogy for God's motives for punishing those whom he loves: "Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness." (NKJV) The author seems to be following this train of thought: 1) he assumes that his readers accept the discipline they received as children; 2) he deems said discipline to have been considered appropriate by the fathers, but implies it may not have always been perfect or adequate; 3) he assumes that God, being God, gives perfect discipline, unlike Earthly fathers...''ergo'', the reader should appreciate the chastisement of god.

* Becomes the defining trait of Mr. and Mrs. Nobody in ''Webcomic/JoeVsElanSchool''. After their son Joe returns from the abusive Elan School, they repeatedly ignore his protests that the school was abusive, and tell Joe that they were in the right for leaving him there for three years. They insist that Joe is just an ungrateful brat and bad kid rather than a person who is suffering PTSD, they believe the school's line that any talk of abuse is their child trying to manipulate them, and they brush off any other survivor testimony as false.

* ''Birthmarked'': in this 2018 Irish-Canadian film, a husband-wife scientist team raise their children as a scientific experiment, trying to prove that nurture is more powerful than nature. Their actions eventually result in their children being taken away by social services and placed in a private school. The parents make an unauthorized visit, corral the kids, and try to get through to them, claiming that with the experiment they made mistakes, but that those mistakes were made out of love. The kids don't buy it.

* ''Fathers Day 1997'': Jack (Creator/BillyCrystal) and Dale (Creator/RobinWilliams) are each told by a mutual ex-girlfriend that he is the biological father of her teenage son Scott, who has run away from home. They soon catch up to him and Scott explains that he had run away because his (official) father had forbidden him to see his girlfriend, also claiming that for absolutely no reason, he has taken his car away. Jack decides to tell him a story about how on his tenth birthday, his father had dropped off his dog at the vet's on the way to the circus, telling him after they returned that he had had to be put down, and when Jack had asked why he had to do it on his birthday, had merely replied: "It was on the way". Scott ''and'' Dale ask Jack what his point is, and get this answer: "The point is that parents screw up sometimes, and that they don't mean it and that they make mistakes because they're human beings. Doesn't mean that they don't love you; doesn't mean that they don't care; just means that they're doing the best they can! You know?" Scott keeps looking at him silently; Jack leaves and Dale tells him: "I didn't understand the story either." The film appears to be parodying the trope here.

* ''This Boy's Life'': At the end of the film, when Toby and his mother [[spoiler: leave]] Toby's domestic tyrant stepfather Dwight, he goes into a VillainousBreakdown and rants at them: "You always sided against me, thought you were better! I tried! I did the best I could! [[ItsAllAboutMe What about me?]]" [[spoiler: and continues blubbering on in this fashion as they leave.]]

Very much TruthInTelevision; this kind of low-effort excuse will probably not be accepted if the person being called out is anyone other than a parent. While it is true that everyone makes mistakes, and while raising children is certainly a difficult task, it is a conveniently sweeping assumption to claim that therefore, one could under no circumstances have done better, or that one is always entitled to wrong one's own child without any consequences. Rather than offering an argument backed up by evidence, the parent typically makes no effort to justify the claim that they did their best, other than by repeating platitudes like "children don't come with a guidebook.[[note]]Many life situations, such as marriage, or being a politician, for example, don't come with a guidebook either, but that does not give people a pass never to be held to account for their actions in these situations.[[/note]] It also pretty much assumes that the parent's action was well-meaning, whereas there are many parents whose actions, at least at times, are self-serving, narcissistic, or even downright malicious. A parent resorting to this tactic is essentially refusing ''a priori'' to be called to account; conversely, a child justifying a parent's actions in this way can be seen as being reluctant to see the parent in a negative light and fully admit that they may have been wronged.

This can relate to bad parenting, which is all to common, so no RealLife examples, please.