History Main / NoExceptYes

16th Jul '16 5:42:16 PM thatother1dude
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* ''Literature/AnimalFarm'': "All animals are equal... but some animals are more equal than others." Which is, of course, an inversion, as they are ''not'' implying that all animals are equal...

to:

* ''Literature/AnimalFarm'': One of the commandments of the animal-run farm is that "All animals are equal... equal." Once the pigs get used to abusing their power to place themselves far above all others, they alter the rule to be "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." Which is, of course, an inversion, as they are ''not'' implying that all animals are equal...
7th Jul '16 8:45:11 PM HeraldAlberich
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-->'''Fergus:''' Oh, dear - my son is as crazy as a loon!\\

to:

-->'''Fergus:''' Oh, dear - my dear--my son is as crazy as a loon!\\



* Devin Grayson stated that Comicbook/{{Nightwing}}'s... unfortunate encounter with Tarantula "wasn't rape, just nonconsensual" - a feat roughly on par with saying "not the ocean, just a really big sea."
* DeathsHead isn't a BountyHunter, he's a ''freelance peacekeeping agent,'' [[VerbalTic yes]]?

to:

* Devin Grayson stated that Comicbook/{{Nightwing}}'s... unfortunate encounter with Tarantula "wasn't rape, just nonconsensual" - a nonconsensual"--a feat roughly on par with saying "not the ocean, just a really big sea."
* DeathsHead ComicBook/DeathsHead isn't a BountyHunter, he's a ''freelance peacekeeping agent,'' [[VerbalTic yes]]?



--> '''Corona''': Um…awesome! Yeah, they were great. I, uh…well, I’m still having trouble taking off…and staying airborne…and, uh…landing…. ({{beat}}) Okay, so I’m not really doing all that great.

to:

--> '''Corona''': Um…awesome! -->'''Corona:''' Um… awesome! Yeah, they were great. I, uh…well, uh… well, I’m still having trouble taking off…and staying airborne…and, uh…landing…. ({{beat}}) airborne… and, uh… landing…. ''[{{beat}}]'' Okay, so I’m not really doing all that great.



-->It had been almost two months since his exceedingly ignominious...no, he refused to call it a defeat. He, Lord Voldemort, had not, and never would be, truly defeated. It had merely been a setback.

to:

-->It had been almost two months since his exceedingly ignominious... no, he refused to call it a defeat. He, Lord Voldemort, had not, and never would be, truly defeated. It had merely been a setback.



* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersVsAliens:'' "I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die."

to:

* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersVsAliens:'' ''WesternAnimation/MonstersVsAliens:''
**
"I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die."



--> '''Sulley''': You're wasting time. We need a new team.
--> '''Mike''': We can't just "get a new team"! I checked this morning, it's against the rules.
--> '''Sulley''': What if we disguise the new team to look like the old team?
--> '''Mike''': Oh no, we are not cheating!
--> '''Sulley''': It's not cheating, it's...leveling the playing field.
--> [[DisapprovingLook (Mike narrows his eye)]]
--> '''Sulley''': Okay, so it's kinda cheating.

to:

--> '''Sulley''': -->'''Sulley:''' You're wasting time. We need a new team.
--> '''Mike''':
team.\\
'''Mike:'''
We can't just "get a new team"! I checked this morning, it's against the rules.
--> '''Sulley''':
rules.\\
'''Sulley:'''
What if we disguise the new team to look like the old team?
--> '''Mike''':
team?\\
'''Mike:'''
Oh no, we are not cheating!
--> '''Sulley''':
cheating!\\
'''Sulley:'''
It's not cheating, it's...it's... leveling the playing field.
--> [[DisapprovingLook (Mike
field.\\
''[[[DisapprovingLook Mike
narrows his eye)]]
--> '''Sulley''':
eye]]]''\\
'''Sulley:'''
Okay, so it's kinda cheating.



-->'''Griff:''' [referring to German soldiers] I can't murder anybody.\\

to:

-->'''Griff:''' [referring ''[referring to German soldiers] soldiers]'' I can't murder anybody.\\



'''Griff:''' [sarcastically] What's the difference?\\

to:

'''Griff:''' [sarcastically] ''[sarcastically]'' What's the difference?\\



--->'''Lone Starr:''' Barf, we're not [[OnlyInItForTheMoney just doing this for money]]. ({{beat}}) We're doing it for a ''[[PrecisionFStrike shitload]]'' of money!

to:

--->'''Lone Starr:''' Barf, we're not [[OnlyInItForTheMoney just doing this for money]]. ({{beat}}) ''[{{beat}}]'' We're doing it for a ''[[PrecisionFStrike shitload]]'' of money!



--->'''Barf:''' Look, Your Highness, it's not that we're afraid-- far from it! It's just that we've got this thing about death. It's... not us.

to:

--->'''Barf:''' Look, Your Highness, it's not that we're afraid-- far afraid--far from it! It's just that we've got this thing about death. It's... not us.



-->'''Jack''': (To Payne, holding Annie hostage) Mister, you're crazy!\\
'''Payne''': No, Jack. Poor people are crazy. (Pointing to ransom money) I'm eccentric.

to:

-->'''Jack''': (To -->'''Jack:''' ''[to Payne, holding Annie hostage) hostage]'' Mister, you're crazy!\\
'''Payne''': '''Payne:''' No, Jack. Poor people are crazy. (Pointing ''[pointing to ransom money) money]'' I'm eccentric.



'''Jack:''' ''Borrowed!'' Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of giving it back.\\

to:

'''Jack:''' ''Borrowed!'' Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of giving it back.back to you.\\



-->'''Will:''' We're going to steal that ship? ''(beckoning to the ''Dauntless'')''\\
'''Jack:''' Commandeer. We're going to '''commandeer''' ''(points to the ''Interceptor'')'' '''that''' ship. Nautical term.

to:

-->'''Will:''' --->'''Will:''' We're going to steal that a ship? ''(beckoning That ship? ''[beckoning to the ''Dauntless'')''\\
''Dauntless'']''\\
'''Jack:''' Commandeer. We're going to '''commandeer''' ''(points ''[points to the ''Interceptor'')'' ''Interceptor'']'' '''that''' ship. Nautical term.



-->'''The Dude''': Just stay away from my fucking lady friend.\\
'''Da Fino''': Hey, hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.\\
'''The Dude''': She's not my "special lady," she's my fucking lady friend.

to:

-->'''The Dude''': Dude:''' Just stay away from my fucking lady friend.\\
'''Da Fino''': Fino:''' Hey, hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.\\
'''The Dude''': Dude:''' She's not my "special lady," she's my fucking lady friend.



-->'''Marty:''' The last time Tap toured America, they were, uh, booked into 10,000 seat arenas, and 15,000 seat venues, and it seems that now, on their current tour, they're being booked into 1,200 seat arenas, 1,500 seat arenas, and uh, I was just wondering, does this mean uh... the popularity of the group is waning?
-->'''Ian:''' Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...no, no, not at all. I, I, I just think that the... uh... their appeal is becoming more selective.

to:

-->'''Marty:''' The last time Tap toured America, they were, uh, booked into 10,000 seat arenas, and 15,000 seat venues, and it seems that now, on their current tour, they're being booked into 1,200 seat arenas, 1,500 seat arenas, and uh, I was just wondering, does this mean uh... the popularity of the group is waning?
-->'''Ian:'''
waning?\\
'''Ian:'''
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...no... no, no, not at all. I, I, I just think that the... uh... their appeal is becoming more selective.



-->'''Bruce''': So, you want me to help you put Jarvis into this thing?\\
'''Tony''': No, of course not! I want to help ''you'' put Jarvis in this thing. We're out of my field here. You know bio-organics better than anyone.

to:

-->'''Bruce''': -->'''Bruce:''' So, you want me to help you put Jarvis into this thing?\\
'''Tony''': '''Tony:''' No, of course not! I want to help ''you'' put Jarvis in this thing. We're out of my field here. You know bio-organics better than anyone.



--->'''Wanda Maximoff''': Is that why you've come, to end the Avengers?\\
'''Ultron''': I've come to save the world! But, also... [[BluntYes yeah]].

to:

--->'''Wanda Maximoff''': Maximoff:''' Is that why you've come, to end the Avengers?\\
'''Ultron''': '''Ultron:''' I've come to save the world! But, also... [[BluntYes yeah]].



--> '''Loki''' [to Odin]: It's not that I don't love our talks, it's just... I don't love them.

to:

--> '''Loki''' [to Odin]: -->'''Loki:''' ''[to Odin]'' It's not that I don't love our talks, it's just... I don't love them.



* ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' had Ax retort that he did not ''fall asleep'' in class, as had been insinuated, he just became calm and restful and not completely alert.

to:

* ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' had has Ax retort that he did not ''fall asleep'' in class, as had has been insinuated, he just became calm and restful and not completely alert.



-->"Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confound, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent, and willfully misunderstand with what appears to be a positively gleeful relish and are generally perfectly capable of contriving to give one an utterly unambiguous impression of their future course of action while in fact intending to do exactly the opposite, but they never lie. Perish the thought."

to:

-->"Oh, -->'''Drone:''' Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confound, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent, and willfully misunderstand with what appears to be a positively gleeful relish and are generally perfectly capable of contriving to give one an utterly unambiguous impression of their future course of action while in fact intending to do exactly the opposite, but they never lie. Perish the thought."



* ''Literature/AnimalFarm'': "All animals are equal...but some animals are more equal than others." Which is, of course, an inversion, as they are ''not'' implying that all animals are equal...

to:

* ''Literature/AnimalFarm'': "All animals are equal... but some animals are more equal than others." Which is, of course, an inversion, as they are ''not'' implying that all animals are equal...



* In ''Literature/SkinGame'' Murphy asks Harry if he really intends to rob Hades. Harry replies that he intends to ''burgle'' Hades, and that it won't be robbery since he, in spite of Murphy's previous impressions of him, is not about to offer violence to a ''god''.
** There is a genuine legal distinction between robbery and burglary, which most people don't think about much, but Murphy, being a police officer, would be well aware of the difference (namely, "Robbery" involves violence or the threat of it, while "Burglary" only requires taking stuff).

to:

* ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'': In ''Literature/SkinGame'' Murphy asks Harry if he really intends to rob Hades. Harry replies that he intends to ''burgle'' Hades, and that it won't be robbery since he, in spite of Murphy's previous impressions of him, is not about to offer violence to a ''god''. \n** There is a genuine legal distinction between robbery and burglary, which most people don't think about much, but Murphy, being a police officer, would be well aware of the difference (namely, "Robbery" involves violence or the threat of it, while "Burglary" only requires taking stuff).



* In ''Literature/StarWarsKenobi'', [[spoiler:Orrin Gault]], deep in debt to {{Loan Shark}}s, doesn't want Annileen's money! He just wants to marry her so he can access her account!



--> '''Dalek''' ''*to Cybermen*'' "THIS IS NOT WAR!! THIS IS PEST CONTROL!!!"[[note]]Technically, no, pest control is ''not'' war, but the ''implication'' is clearly that the Daleks ''do'' in fact intend to wage war against the Cybermen--they simply do not wish to dignify it with the name of "war." After all, [[Film/TheAvengers2012 boots do not "make war" on ants]].[[/note]]

to:

--> '''Dalek''' ''*to Cybermen*'' "THIS --->'''Dalek:''' ''[to Cybermen]'' THIS IS NOT WAR!! THIS IS PEST CONTROL!!!"[[note]]Technically, CONTROL!!![[note]]Technically, no, pest control is ''not'' war, but the ''implication'' is clearly that the Daleks ''do'' in fact intend to wage war against the Cybermen--they simply do not wish to dignify it with the name of "war." After all, [[Film/TheAvengers2012 boots do not "make war" on ants]].[[/note]]



'''Mal:''' [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne Petty]]?\\

to:

'''Mal:''' [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne Petty]]?\\Petty?]]\\



'''Mal:''' [[LostInTranslation That's Chinese for "petty"]].

to:

'''Mal:''' [[LostInTranslation That's Chinese for "petty"]]."petty".]]



-->'''River:''' She understands. She doesn't comprehend.\\
'''Mal:''' [[SarcasmMode Glad we have that cleared up]].

to:

-->'''River:''' --->'''River:''' She understands. She doesn't comprehend.\\
'''Mal:''' [[SarcasmMode Glad we have that cleared up]].up>]]



-->'''Simon''': So you're a bounty hunter.\\
'''Jubal Early''': No... That ain't it at all.\\
'''Simon''': Then what are you?\\
'''Jubal Early''': I'm a bounty hunter.

to:

-->'''Simon''': --->'''Simon:''' So you're a bounty hunter.\\
'''Jubal Early''': Early:''' No... That ain't it at all.\\
'''Simon''': '''Simon:''' Then what are you?\\
'''Jubal Early''': Early:''' I'm a bounty hunter.



--->"I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more."
** Buffy also prefers to think of it as [[InsistentTerminology "slaying"]] vampires rather than "killing" them[[note]]She's on somewhat firm ground, linguistically. [[HaveAGayOldTime Historically]], "slay" meant "cause the death of, including justifiably", while "kill" meant "murder"...and "murder" meant "assassinate"; the coinage of "assassinate" by Shakespeare probably contributed to the definition-creep of the other words[[/note]].

to:

--->"I --->'''Cordelia:''' I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more."
more.
** Buffy also prefers to think of it as [[InsistentTerminology "slaying"]] vampires rather than "killing" them[[note]]She's them.[[note]]She's on somewhat firm ground, linguistically. [[HaveAGayOldTime Historically]], "slay" meant "cause the death of, including justifiably", while "kill" meant "murder"... and "murder" meant "assassinate"; the coinage of "assassinate" by Shakespeare probably contributed to the definition-creep of the other words[[/note]].words.[[/note]]



'''Madeline:''' Sam...you're asking me to hide?\\

to:

'''Madeline:''' Sam... you're asking me to hide?\\



** Quoth Westen, upon being asked what he was thinking threatening an FBI agent for information: "I didn't threaten him. I asked him questions...with a gun in my hand." (If you saw the scene...he was ''totally'' threatening him.)
* From Jon Stewart on ''Series/TheDailyShow'': "[The Bush] Administration does not torture logic, no! This administration merely flew logic in an unmarked plane to Bulgaria. Whatever happened to logic there, we have no idea."

to:

** Quoth Westen, upon being asked what he was thinking threatening an FBI agent for information: "I didn't threaten him. I asked him questions... with a gun in my hand." (If you saw the scene... he was ''totally'' threatening him.)
* ''Series/TheDailyShow'':
**
From Jon Stewart on ''Series/TheDailyShow'': John Stewart: "[The Bush] Administration does not torture logic, no! This administration merely flew logic in an unmarked plane to Bulgaria. Whatever happened to logic there, we have no idea."



--->'''Rimmer:''' Oh, and sir--you're wrong. We won't be apart, we just...won't be together. ''[{{beat}}]'' I cannot believe I just said that.

to:

--->'''Rimmer:''' Oh, and sir--you're wrong. We won't be apart, we just... won't be together. ''[{{beat}}]'' I cannot believe I just said that.



--->'''Marnie:''' We'll always be together! It's just...that we'll be apart.

to:

--->'''Marnie:''' We'll always be together! It's just... that we'll be apart.



* The ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' episode "Court Martial" has this exchange when Spock tries to defend Kirk on the witness stand.
-->'''Shaw:''' Are you disputing with the computer?
-->'''Spock:''' I am not disputing with the computer; I am merely stating that it is wrong.
** Several times through the series and movies, Spock was accused of lying, only to reply that he "exaggerated", or "implied" or in some other way [[WillNotTellALie deliberately led others to false conclusions without technically lying]].
* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'':
** At one point, Sisko says, "I wasn't yelling. I was expressing my opinion loudly." It seems to run in the family, as his father once claimed "I wasn't sleeping, I was checking my eyelids for holes."
** The Female Changeling, when declaring the need to pull back their forces, is accused of retreating by her Breen allies. She and Weyoun immediately try to spin it as a momentary withdrawal so they can build up their forces and attack again.

to:

* ''Franchise/StarTrek'':
** ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'':
***
The ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' episode "Court Martial" has this exchange when Spock tries to defend Kirk on the witness stand.
-->'''Shaw:''' ---->'''Shaw:''' Are you disputing with the computer?
-->'''Spock:'''
computer?\\
'''Spock:'''
I am not disputing with the computer; I am merely stating that it is wrong.
** *** Several times through the series and movies, Spock was is accused of lying, only to reply that he "exaggerated", or "implied" or in some other way [[WillNotTellALie deliberately led others to false conclusions without technically lying]].
* ** ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'':
** *** At one point, Sisko says, "I wasn't yelling. I was expressing my opinion loudly." It seems to run in the family, as his father once claimed "I wasn't sleeping, I was checking my eyelids for holes."
** *** The Female Changeling, when declaring the need to pull back their forces, is accused of retreating by her Breen allies. She and Weyoun immediately try to spin it as a momentary withdrawal so they can build up their forces and attack again.



'''Tyrion Lannister:''' I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.[[note]]Actually a good point; "question" usually implies one is unsure of the answer. Tyrion is not asking Janos to prove he's not dishonorable, he's saying he ''knows'' Janos is dishonorable - and thus, is firing him. [[/note]]

to:

'''Tyrion Lannister:''' I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.[[note]]Actually a good point; "question" usually implies one is unsure of the answer. Tyrion is not asking Janos to prove he's not dishonorable, he's saying he ''knows'' Janos is dishonorable - and dishonorable--and thus, is firing him. him.[[/note]]



'''Felicity:''' [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord "Hacking" is such an ugly word]]. No, I'm... ''[pauses, can't come up with a better word]'' yeah, totally hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe.

to:

'''Felicity:''' [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord "Hacking" is such an ugly word]]. word.]] No, I'm... ''[pauses, can't come up with a better word]'' yeah, totally hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe.



* Quoth Esposito, in an episode of ''Series/{{Castle}}'', while chasing a suspect: "No, I didn't ''lose'' him, I just...don't have visual contact."

to:

* Quoth Esposito, in an episode of ''Series/{{Castle}}'', while chasing a suspect: "No, I didn't ''lose'' him, I just... don't have visual contact."



* ''StargateSG1'', when Mitchell finds Carter has been working in her lab all night.
-->'''Mitchell''': Did you sleep here last night?
-->'''Carter''': No...I slept down the hall in my quarters.

to:

* ''StargateSG1'', ''Series/StargateSG1'', when Mitchell finds Carter has been working in her lab all night.
-->'''Mitchell''': -->'''Mitchell:''' Did you sleep here last night?
-->'''Carter''': No...
night?\\
'''Carter:''' No...
I slept down the hall in my quarters.



-->'''Lionel''': You're paraphrasing. That's not what I want you to do. I want to tell the story as written, but in your own words. \\
'''Ellen''': That's what paraphrasing is.

to:

-->'''Lionel''': -->'''Lionel:''' You're paraphrasing. That's not what I want you to do. I want to tell the story as written, but in your own words. \\
'''Ellen''': '''Ellen:''' That's what paraphrasing is.



-->'''Morgan''': Dude, it's not stalking, okay? It's caring enough about someone to learn things about them they won't tell you themselves.\\
'''Chuck''': Which is stalking.

to:

-->'''Morgan''': -->'''Morgan:''' Dude, it's not stalking, okay? It's caring enough about someone to learn things about them they won't tell you themselves.\\
'''Chuck''': '''Chuck:''' Which is stalking.



* ''Series/{{Veep}}'': In "C*ntgate", Mike states to the press that the President is now planning on bailing out banks, she's just going to give them large infusions of cash.
-->'''[[IntrepidReporter Leon West]]''': [[LampshadeHanging That's literally the definition of "bailout", Mike.]]

to:

* ''Series/{{Veep}}'': In "C*ntgate", Mike states to the press that the President is now not planning on bailing out banks, she's just going to give them large infusions of cash.
-->'''[[IntrepidReporter Leon West]]''': West]]:''' [[LampshadeHanging That's literally the definition of "bailout", Mike.]]



-->''Always, no, sometimes think it's me''
-->''But you know I know that it's a dream''
-->''I think a "no" will be a "yes" but it's all wrong''
-->''That is I think I disagree.''

to:

-->''Always, -->Always, no, sometimes think it's me''
-->''But
me\\
But
you know I know that it's a dream''
-->''I
dream\\
I
think a "no" will be a "yes" but it's all wrong''
-->''That
wrong\\
That
is I think I disagree.''



-->'''Butz:''' I wasn't dumped! She just wasn't taking my phone calls...or seeing me...ever. ''What's it to you, anyway?!''\\

to:

-->'''Butz:''' I wasn't dumped! She just wasn't taking my phone calls... or seeing me...me... ever. ''What's it to you, anyway?!''\\



-->'''Admiral de Grasse''': Wait, wait. I thought you might need some pirates killed, or goods transported. And instead, you ask us to....what, shell New York?
-->'''Connor:''' No. Of course not.
-->'''de Grasse:''' Ah....
-->'''Connor:''' Only part of it.
-->'''de Grasse:''' ....explain yourself.

to:

-->'''Admiral de Grasse''': Grasse:''' Wait, wait. I thought you might need some pirates killed, or goods transported. And instead, you ask us to....to... what, shell New York?
-->'''Connor:'''
York?\\
'''Connor:'''
No. Of course not.
-->'''de
not.\\
'''de
Grasse:''' Ah....
-->'''Connor:'''
Ah...\\
'''Connor:'''
Only part of it.
-->'''de Grasse:''' ....
it.\\
'''de Grasse:''' ...
explain yourself.



-->"I'm not queer, I'm inverted, [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe thou lie-breeding swine]]."

to:

-->"I'm -->'''Vincent:''' I'm not queer, I'm inverted, [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe thou lie-breeding swine]]."



-->'''Ocelot:''' 'Torture' is such an '''inelegant''' word. [[TortureTechnician I'm an artist]]. [[GroinAttack Their testicles are my canvas]].
* Haley from ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' isn't a thief; she's a "freelance wealth redistribution specialist."
** She also describes Elan [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0017.html thus]] : "He's not useless, he's... use-impaired".
** Varsuvius [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0641.html insists]] [[AmbiguousGender she/he]] did ''NOT'' [[DealWithTheDevil sell his/her soul to fiends]] but merely [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness negotiated an exchange with three gentlemen from other planes of existence]], specifically [[TheLegionsOfHell planes in the ventral direction]], [[ExpospeakGag involving a fixed-term lease with an occupancy date yet to be determined]]. The distinction between a sale and a lease is important (to the story if not to the conversation), the attempt to imply that the other parties in the areement were anything other than [[TheLegionsOfHell fiends]] not so much.

to:

-->'''Ocelot:''' 'Torture' is such an '''inelegant''' word. [[TortureTechnician I'm an artist]]. artist.]] [[GroinAttack Their testicles are my canvas]].
canvas.]]
* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'':
**
Haley from ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' isn't a thief; she's a "freelance wealth redistribution specialist."
** She also describes Elan [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0017.html thus]] : thus]]: "He's not useless, he's... use-impaired".
use-impaired."
** Varsuvius [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0641.html insists]] [[AmbiguousGender she/he]] did ''NOT'' [[DealWithTheDevil sell his/her soul to fiends]] but merely [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness negotiated an exchange with three gentlemen from other planes of existence]], specifically [[TheLegionsOfHell planes in the ventral direction]], [[ExpospeakGag involving a fixed-term lease with an occupancy date yet to be determined]]. The distinction between a sale and a lease is important (to the story if not to the conversation), the attempt to imply that the other parties in the areement agreement were anything other than [[TheLegionsOfHell fiends]] not so much.



-->'''TV Con''': …If what I just said insulted your intelligence, you should change the channel now.\\
'''Schlock''': I need this guy's address, and some breacher-round reloads.

to:

-->'''TV Con''': --->'''TV Con:''' …If what I just said insulted your intelligence, you should change the channel now.\\
'''Schlock''': '''Schlock:''' I need this guy's address, and some breacher-round reloads.



-->'''Finn''': So does that mean I'm a prisoner forever?
-->'''Squirrel''': Well yes. And no. Are you a prisoner? Yes. Will you ever be free? No.

to:

-->'''Finn''': -->'''Finn:''' So does that mean I'm a prisoner forever?
-->'''Squirrel''':
forever?\\
'''Squirrel:'''
Well yes. And no. Are you a prisoner? Yes. Will you ever be free? No.



--> '''Cale''': TREASON!
--> '''Dragit''': Revolution.

to:

--> '''Cale''': TREASON!
--> '''Dragit''':
-->'''Cale:''' TREASON!\\
'''Dragit:'''
Revolution.



--->'''Bender:''' BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord. I prefer "extortion". [[XtremeKoolLetterz The "x" makes it sound cool]].

to:

--->'''Bender:''' BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord. I prefer "extortion". [[XtremeKoolLetterz The "x" makes it sound cool]].cool.]]



'''Professor Farnsworth:''' No, no, no one's saying that...but I'm certainly thinking it loudly.

to:

'''Professor Farnsworth:''' No, no, no one's saying that... but I'm certainly thinking it loudly.



--->'''Marge''': Are you actually giving up your faith?
--->'''Homer''': No! No-no-no-no-no no! Well, yes.

to:

--->'''Marge''': --->'''Marge:''' Are you actually giving up your faith?
--->'''Homer''':
faith?\\
'''Homer:'''
No! No-no-no-no-no no! Well, yes.



* In an episode of the ''WesternAnimation/SuperMarioWorld'' cartoon, Oogtar puts it plain and simple. "Oogtar not lost! Oogtar just...not know where he is."

to:

* In an episode of the ''WesternAnimation/SuperMarioWorld'' cartoon, Oogtar puts it plain and simple. "Oogtar not lost! Oogtar just... not know where he is."



--->'''Billy:''' [[NoIndoorVoice GRIM]]! Guess what I got on our camping trip! Guess guess guess guess guess!!
--->'''Grim:''' I don't know, Billy!...A rash?
--->'''Billy:''' No!...well, yes.

to:

--->'''Billy:''' [[NoIndoorVoice GRIM]]! GRIM!]] Guess what I got on our camping trip! Guess guess guess guess guess!!
--->'''Grim:'''
guess!!\\
'''Grim:'''
I don't know, Billy!...Billy!... A rash?
--->'''Billy:''' No!...
rash?\\
'''Billy:''' No!...
well, yes.



'''Mary''': You mean like [[DrivesLikeCrazy on top of buildings and in outer space and stuff]]?\\
'''Uncle Grandpa''': No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes.

to:

'''Mary''': '''Mary:''' You mean like [[DrivesLikeCrazy on top of buildings and in outer space and stuff]]?\\
'''Uncle Grandpa''': Grandpa:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes.



--->'''Gumball/[[SplitPersonality Zach]]''': [[ThirdPersonPerson Zach]] doesn't listen...he ''hears''.\\

to:

--->'''Gumball/[[SplitPersonality Zach]]''': Zach]]:''' [[ThirdPersonPerson Zach]] doesn't listen...listen... he ''hears''.\\



--->'''Gumball''': You have a better idea?\\
'''Darwin''': No, I have a much better idea.

to:

--->'''Gumball''': --->'''Gumball:''' You have a better idea?\\
'''Darwin''': '''Darwin:''' No, I have a much better idea.



'''Carrott:''' Er...well, can I have some then?\\

to:

'''Carrott:''' Er... well, can I have some then?\\



'''Carrott:''' ''[looks at watch]'' Er...will it be long?\\

to:

'''Carrott:''' ''[looks at watch]'' Er... will it be long?\\



-->'''Louis XVI:''' Is it a revolt?
-->'''Aide:''' No, sire. It is a revolution[[note]]Technically true, as a revolt is a revolution that failed (i.e. does not overthrow the reigning power), while a revolution is a revolt that succeeds. By the time the quote was uttered, it was clear that the ''entire'' French populace was up in arms, and that there was no hope of quashing the revolt without killing everyone, which was an impossibility[[/note]].

to:

-->'''Louis XVI:''' Is it a revolt?
-->'''Aide:'''
revolt?\\
'''Aide:'''
No, sire. It is a revolution[[note]]Technically revolution.[[note]]Technically true, as a revolt is a revolution that failed (i.e. does not overthrow the reigning power), while a revolution is a revolt that succeeds. By the time the quote was uttered, it was clear that the ''entire'' French populace was up in arms, and that there was no hope of quashing the revolt without killing everyone, which was an impossibility[[/note]].impossibility.[[/note]]
6th Jul '16 5:14:01 PM Benthelame
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Added DiffLines:

*In ''Series/TheTwilightZone'' Episode entitled "Number Twelve Looks Just Like You" Everyone that reaches the age of nineteen undergoes "Transformation."It is [[CrapsaccharineWorld a change in physical appearance that makes you "beautiful and young with the only drawback being there are only two choices for each gender and everyone looks the same as everyone else.]] The doctors assure the main character that nobody has ever been forced to undergo the transformation if they didn't want to, before calmly adding "We just find out why you don't want to and make the necessary correction."
6th Jul '16 5:55:22 AM LadyJafaria
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Added DiffLines:

** The Assassins' Guild are so insistent on this, they've got regular citizens doing it. In ''Discworld/{{Jingo}}'', when Angua asks Carrot if Snowy Slopes (a deceased criminal) is an assassin, Carrot replies, "No. He just kills people for money."
26th Jun '16 3:20:45 AM ading
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* Another army story has Canadian troops during UsefulNotes/WorldWarII moving through a village, when a German Tank rounded the corner. Beating a hasty retreat, they told their [=CO=], who angrily yelled "You are Canadians! You do not retreat!" The troops feared he was going to order them on a suicide charge, until he followed up with "You are moving to a more strategic location!"
* According to William Lutz, author of The New Doublespeak, the first Doublespeak Award went, in 1974, to US Air Force Colonel David Opfer in Phnom Penh, Cambodia for saying to American reporters, "You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support."[[note]]Strictly speaking "air support" is a type of bombing, as distinguished from interdiction and strategic bombing. And the term "bombing" restricts one to the use of bombs exclusively. "Air Support" allows one to also use unguided rockets, missiles, and/or strafing with guns, which are much more useful in a tactical role. It also allows the use of helicopters as a launch vehicle—helicopters don't drop many bombs. (Of course, the distinction between rockets, missiles, and bombs is as lost on the average journalist as that between "''ὁμοούσιον''" and "''ὁμοιούσιον''").[[/note]]
** The source of the colonel's complaint is presumably that American journalists [[InsistentTerminology deliberately used only the term]] "bombing", [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything probably in order to bring to mind]] the deliberate bombing of civilian targets that was common in World War II (the only war most of the American public had had any direct contact with)—rather than giving the details of what "air support", something very different, entails (it's generally much more precise and smaller-scale, and mostly only used against enemy forces that are actually a threat).
* Publicly stated by a foreign official in 1998: "No viewpoints have been banned, except for those that have been banned by the law."

to:

* Another army story has Canadian troops during UsefulNotes/WorldWarII moving through a village, when a German Tank rounded the corner. Beating a hasty retreat, they told their [=CO=], who angrily yelled "You are Canadians! You do not retreat!" The troops feared he was going to order them on a suicide charge, until he followed up with "You are moving to a more strategic location!"
* According to William Lutz, author of The New Doublespeak, the first Doublespeak Award went, in 1974, to US Air Force Colonel David Opfer in Phnom Penh, Cambodia for saying to American reporters, "You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support."[[note]]Strictly speaking "air support" is a type of bombing, as distinguished from interdiction and strategic bombing. And the term "bombing" restricts one to the use of bombs exclusively. "Air Support" allows one to also use unguided rockets, missiles, and/or strafing with guns, which are much more useful in a tactical role. It also allows the use of helicopters as a launch vehicle—helicopters don't drop many bombs. (Of course, the distinction between rockets, missiles, and bombs is as lost on the average journalist as that between "''ὁμοούσιον''" and "''ὁμοιούσιον''").[[/note]]
**
[[/note]]. The source of the colonel's complaint is presumably that American journalists [[InsistentTerminology deliberately used only the term]] "bombing", [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything probably in order to bring to mind]] the deliberate bombing of civilian targets that was common in World War II (the only war most of the American public had had any direct contact with)—rather than giving the details of what "air support", something very different, entails (it's generally much more precise and smaller-scale, and mostly only used against enemy forces that are actually a threat).
* Publicly stated by a foreign official in 1998: "No viewpoints have been banned, except for those that have been banned by the law."
threat).



* A country club spokesman on why a specific person was refused admission thereto:
--> We didn't turn him down. We didn't admit him.



* It's not a recession, it's an economic deceleration. Which can make sense, assuming the speaker means the economy is still growing, albeit more slowly, instead of shrinking. Similarly, but in the opposite direction, the common complaint that some government is not ''cutting'' spending, but only ''slowing the rate'' at which spending increases. While the difference may seem clear, remaining the same or even a slight increase might look like a decrease if it doesn't keep up with inflation, the population size, or other factors.



* Croatian politician Andrija Hebrang, after being called a liar: "I do not lie, nor do I tell lies, I merely speak untruths, which is much more polite."
20th Jun '16 9:35:14 PM Argon2
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Added DiffLines:

* In ''Film/HighSchoolMusical 2'', [[JerkAss Sharpay]] whines about how she doesn't deserve the bad things currently happening to her, as (in her view) she's a good person: "I've never lied! {{Beat}} Except when necessary..."
10th Jun '16 8:50:45 AM TheWanderer
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See also BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord, MetaphoricallyTrue, InsistentTerminology, and ByNoIMeanYes.

to:

See also BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord, MetaphoricallyTrue, InsistentTerminology, OverwhelmingException, and ByNoIMeanYes.
30th May '16 8:19:46 AM ZimFan89
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:: InsistentTerminology possibly due to the fact that she was still trying to snag [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Clark Kent]] (she was talking about another guy).

to:

:: ** InsistentTerminology possibly due to the fact that she was still trying to snag [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Clark Kent]] (she was talking about another guy).


Added DiffLines:

* ''Series/{{Veep}}'': In "C*ntgate", Mike states to the press that the President is now planning on bailing out banks, she's just going to give them large infusions of cash.
-->'''[[IntrepidReporter Leon West]]''': [[LampshadeHanging That's literally the definition of "bailout", Mike.]]
29th May '16 3:55:07 PM john_e
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Added DiffLines:

* In ''Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'', the Oompa-Loompas' song about Augustus Gloop:
--> But don’t, dear children, be alarmed; \\
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed, \\
Although, of course, we must admit \\
He will be ''altered'' quite a bit. \\
He’ll be ''quite'' changed from what he’s been, \\
When he goes through the fudge machine.
:: As the song goes on to make clear, "altered" includes being sliced up with knives and boiled.
9th Apr '16 3:40:11 PM Aquila89
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** From "Viva Mars Vegas":
--->'''Zoidberg:''' You mean I'm invisible?\\
'''Professor Farnsworth:''' No, no, no. Not in any sense of the word. But essentially, yes, entirely.
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