->''"What you don’t know is that we've decided to make the Saxxy’s a lot more like an illegal underground martial-arts bloodsport. That’s right: This year ''there are no rules''. There are, however, a whole bunch of brutal laws, traditions, commandments, and decrees, plus some rules."''
-->-- '''[[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 The TF2 Team]]'''

First you say what it isn't. Then you say what it is. Both of them effectively have the same meaning.

This is when a character rejects a word in preference of a more colorful (or much blunter) one--often with the same practical meaning, given the circumstances, but with some extra connotations. In most occasions, it will reflect just how easy, one-sided, or unsporting the thing in question is.

A common form is "We're not lost, we just don't know where we are."

May also relate to CannotTellALie or WillNotTellALie, when the wording is very deliberately selected to convey a false impression without technically being a lie in the traditional sense.

See also BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord, MetaphoricallyTrue, InsistentTerminology, OverwhelmingException, and ByNoIMeanYes.
Contrast BothSidesHaveAPoint. Not to be confused with WontTakeYesForAnAnswer.

As an aside: In philosophy, this is a fallacy known as "Distinction Without a Difference".

%% NOTE: Please consider putting the following kinds of examples under other pages instead of posting them here:
%% Clear distinctions, but are lies in context, ex. a thief saying "I don't steal things, I borrow them". Consider putting this kind of example in BlatantLies instead.
%% Distinctions between things that are used interchangeably in general, but are hugely important in context, ex. a man kills someone in self-defence, gets put on trial for murder, and denies having committed a murder while acknowledging that he killed someone.
%% A character makes a distinction between two things, ex. "I don't have a brother, I have a sister". In that example, it only really counts here if "brother" was clearly meant to mean "sibling" in context.
%% See DoubleStandard to see if your example would fit better there.


* It's not a cookie, it's a Fig Newton.
* Fast food companies like this one, much to the delight of [[SnarkBait snarkers]] everywhere:
** "It's way better than fast food, it's Wendy's."
** "There's fast food and then there's UsefulNotes/{{K|entuckyFriedChicken}}FC."
** Dairy Queen is "Fan Food" rather than "Fast Food".
* It's not TV, it's Creator/{{HBO}}.
* An American Twix ad in 2012 detailed the differences between the left-hand bar and the right-hand bar -- using synonyms.
* It's not just any [X], It's an M&S [X].
* It's not a PC, it's a Mac. Except when it ''is'' a PC, thus contradicting all of their prior advertising and confusing viewers.
* There was a now-forgotten phone brand who demanded the audience to not call it a phone, ostensibly due to some features it had.
* Zest had a long-running series of commercials that compared its qualities with "soap." Not "other soaps," or even "ordinary soap." Just "Zest vs. Soap," as if Zest were not, actually, soap.
** Similarly, "Dove is not a soap." (Expect it written onscreen at the time it's said to make you ''doubly'' sure that Dove is not a soap.)
* Scheaffer, like most companies that make fountain pens, also makes fountain pen ink, under the brand name "Skrip". For long time (though not any more) their advertising tag line was that Skrip wasn't ink, it was a new thing, better than ink. The bottle labels would call it a "writing fluid."

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* At the end of ''Anime/RedGarden,'' the villain tells the main characters that he isn't killing them, he's destroying them; since they're already dead, it [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman doesn't count as killing]].
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'':
** Tomo loses to Sakaki in a footrace, and shouts that she's not the loser, but the runner-up.
** Osaka asks Kaorin if she's gay. Kaorin angrily corrects her ("the correct term is lesbian!"), then tells her she's not a lesbian (she has a massive crush on HugeSchoolgirl Sakaki).
* ''Anime/MagicalGirlLyricalNanohaAs''
** Used and {{lampshade|Hanging}}d during the battle between [[PettingZooPeople Arf and Zafila]].
--->'''Arf:''' Are you one of their familiars?\\
'''Zafila:''' In Belka space, we don't call the beasts that serve their masters "familiars"! We call them their fangs and shields! We're Guardian Beasts!\\
'''Arf:''' It's just the same damn thing!
** And again in ''Audioplay/StrikersSoundStageX'', which is set [[TimeSkip three years after]] ''Anime/MagicalGirlLyricalNanohaStrikerS'', when Agito visits Lutecia in the latter's [[PenalColony Prison Planet]], which, to be fair to Agito, [[LuxuryPrisonSuite really is a pretty nice place]].
--->'''Agito:''' You know, this place is really great.\\
'''Lutecia:''' You mean you can't see that it's a criminal deportation world?\\
'''Agito:''' That's not what I mean. It's not a penal colony. It's a world that people are currently adapting and developing.
* In ''Manga/MariaHolic'', when Mariya first comes to the conclusion that Kanako is a lesbian pervert, Kanako insists that he refer to it as "yuri". He of course then [[LampshadeHanging points out]] that that means the same thing.
* Similarly, in ''Manga/LuckyStar'', after Konata asks [[PervertDad her dad]], on account of him having loved [[OlderThanTheyLook Kanata]] and being clingy with Konata herself, if he is a {{Lolicon}}, he insists that she's got him all wrong; he not only likes young girls, but likes more mature, well-endowed women, too, so he is "''also'' a lolicon"... Konata is suitably disturbed.
* After another [[FailureIstheOnlyOption Team Rocket]] plot failed on ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'', Meowth said to think of it instead as not succeeding.
* [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Futari_Ecchi_v01_002.jpg Apparently]] ''Manga/FutariEcchi'' is not {{hentai}}, but rather the thinking man's erotic manga. The author insists he's not lying.
* In ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'', when Naruto accused Jiraya of being a pervert, Jiraya replied that he's not a pervert but a ''super''-pervert.
** A much more serious example happens later, when [[spoiler: [[BigBad Ob]][[EvilFormerFriend ito]] tells Kakashi that [[TheLostLenore Rin's]] death is not his reason for pulling the entire world into a war. He then goes on to state that Rin's death [[StartOfDarkness opened his eyes to the truth]] that [[StrawNihilist the world is worthless,]] and so therefore [[AssimilationPlot needs to]] [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans change.]]]]
* Munakata of ''Manga/MedakaBox'' introduces himself by saying that he does not kill people for no reason. He begins to list his reasons for killing, each flimsier than the last, until finally he just says, [[ForTheEvulz "And for no reason whatsoever, I'll kill you."]] [[spoiler:He doesn't kill Hitoyoshi, nor does he intend to throughout their fight, even though his Abnormality gives him an overwhelming desire to do so. Quite possibly his ''real'' Abnormality is "self-control".]]
* ''Webcomic/AxisPowersHetalia'':
--> '''Germany:''' Your enemy demands that you surrender! How do you respond?
--> '''Japan:''' Like a true Japanese, I shall say "I'll think about it", or "Perhaps next time", or "I'd like to, but...". All of these answers mean no!

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* From the Creator/DonRosa story "The Billionaire of Dismal Downs":
-->'''Fergus:''' Oh, dear--my son is as crazy as a loon!\\
'''Hortense:''' ''[[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney Poor]]'' [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney people are crazy, papa! Rich people are]] ''[[InsistentTerminology eccentric]]''!\\
'''Matilda:''' Scroogey's as eccentric as a loon!
* Devin Grayson stated that Comicbook/{{Nightwing}}'s... unfortunate encounter with Tarantula "wasn't rape, just nonconsensual"--a feat roughly on par with saying "not the ocean, just a really big sea."
* ComicBook/DeathsHead isn't a BountyHunter, he's a ''freelance peacekeeping agent,'' [[VerbalTic yes]]?

[[folder:Fan Fiction]]
* Princess Corona does this in the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' Fanfic ''FanFic/TheSuccessors'' when her sister asks her how her flying lessons went:
-->'''Corona:''' Um… awesome! Yeah, they were great. I, uh… well, I’m still having trouble taking off…and staying airborne… and, uh… landing…. ''[{{beat}}]'' Okay, so I’m not really doing all that great.
* In ''[[FanFic/SovereignGFCOrigins Origins]]'', a ''MassEffect''[=/=]''StarWars''[[spoiler:[=/=]''[=Borderlands=]''[=/=]''[=Halo=]'']] MassiveMultiplayerCrossover, Admiral Grayson pulls a very long-winded version of this trope. The Republic Intelligence Service doesn't [[spoiler:use the Current/Force]], except, here's a rather lengthy anecdote about problems they had that would only occur if they were dabbling in that which he just said they weren't doing.
* Nora uses this to deny running a betting ring on when Darrel and Yang would kiss in ''FanFic/RWBYReckoning''.
-->'''Nora:''' No, no, it's not betting. We just put some money into a communal account, and depending on when you two engage in certain activities together, we each earn a little bit depending on when we said it would happen.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8777309/4/Families-and-Familiars-Second-Year Families and Familiars: Second Year]]'':
-->It had been almost two months since his exceedingly ignominious... no, he refused to call it a defeat. He, Lord Voldemort, had not, and never would be, truly defeated. It had merely been a setback.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9809583/4/No-Obvious-Truths No Obvious Truths]]'' Lucius Malfoy tries Pepsi for the first time and decides he likes it.
-->'''Tom Riddle:''' Oh, good, now Lucius will have a new addiction!\\
'''Lucius:''' I do not have addictions! I merely indulge in what pleases me.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4912291/28/The-Best-Revenge The Best Revenge]]'':
-->'''Harry:''' I did not ''faint''! I only-blacked out-just for a little bit.

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]
* ''Disney/RobinHood'', the [[Franchise/DisneyAnimatedCanon Disney version]]:
-->'''Robin Hood:''' Rob? Tch tch. That's a naughty word, we never rob. We just... Sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.\\
'''Little John:''' Borrow? Heh. Boy, are we in debt.
* From ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory'': "That wasn't flying. It was falling with style!"
* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersVsAliens:''
** "I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die."
** Also, "Don't think of it as a prison. Think of it as a hotel you can never leave, 'cause it's locked from the outside."
* On the DVD commentary for ''WesternAnimation/GIJoeTheMovie'', it was mentioned that while Cobra ''retreats'', the Joes ''withdraw''.
* Sulley in ''Disney/MonstersUniversity'':
-->'''Sulley:''' You're wasting time. We need a new team.\\
'''Mike:''' We can't just "get a new team"! I checked this morning, it's against the rules.\\
'''Sulley:''' What if we disguise the new team to look like the old team?\\
'''Mike:''' Oh no, we are not cheating!\\
'''Sulley:''' It's not cheating, it's... leveling the playing field.\\
''[[[DisapprovingLook Mike narrows his eye]]]''\\
'''Sulley:''' Okay, so it's kinda cheating.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Storks}}'': Junior (stork) responding to Tulip (human) about the baby they are trying to deliver.
--> '''Junior:''' We're not like a family, we're just a guy and girl trying to put our baby to sleep.

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''Film/TheMummyReturns'':
-->'''Evie:''' Alex, I'm serious. If you've lost that key, you're grounded.\\
'''Alex:''' I didn't lose it, i just can't find it. There's a difference.\\
'''Evie:''' Well you'd better start finding it, then.
* ''Film/TheBigRedOne'':
-->'''Griff:''' ''[referring to German soldiers]'' I can't murder anybody.\\
'''The Sergeant:''' We don't murder; we kill.\\
'''Griff:''' ''[sarcastically]'' What's the difference?\\
'''The Sergeant:''' You don't murder animals; you kill 'em.
* In ''Film/RatRace'' the rich gambler (Creator/JohnCleese) orchestrating the titular race is "too rich to be crazy. I'm 'eccentric!'"
* In ''Film/{{Garfield}}: A Tail of Two Kitties'', as Jon tells Smithy about the [[PrinceAndPauper mix-up between Garfield and Prince]]:
-->'''Smithy:''' Are you saying you have a cat that's Prince's {{doppelganger}}?
-->'''Jon:''' No, I'm saying they look exactly alike, and there's a chance they may have gotten mixed up.
* ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}''
** The protagonists Lone Starr and Barf need '1 million spacebucks' to get out of a debt with a creature called 'Pizza the Hutt' in a situation clearly meant to mirror Han Solo and Chewbacca's within ''Franchise/StarWars''. After being given a mission to rescue a king's daughter and successfully demanding that price, Barf is afraid by how they are risking their lives for money. Lone Starr replies:
--->'''Lone Starr:''' Barf, we're not [[OnlyInItForTheMoney just doing this for money]]. ''[{{beat}}]'' We're doing it for a ''[[PrecisionFStrike shitload]]'' of money!
** Before that, they were hesitant to accept the mission:
--->'''Barf:''' Look, Your Highness, it's not that we're afraid--far from it! It's just that we've got this thing about death. It's... not us.
* The Don Rosa quote above mirrors one in ''Film/{{Speed}}'':
-->'''Jack:''' ''[to Payne, holding Annie hostage]'' Mister, you're crazy!\\
'''Payne:''' No, Jack. Poor people are crazy. ''[pointing to ransom money]'' I'm eccentric.
* From ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl'':
-->'''Anamaria:''' You stole my boat!\\
'''Jack:''' ''Borrowed!'' Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of giving it back to you.\\
'''Anamaria:''' ''But you DIDN'T!!''
** Subverted earlier; Jack is not denying theft, per se, but if Will's going to be on a ship, he needs to use the right terms.
--->'''Will:''' We're going to steal a ship? That ship? ''[beckoning to the ''Dauntless'']''\\
'''Jack:''' Commandeer. We're going to '''commandeer''' ''[points to the ''Interceptor'']'' '''that''' ship. Nautical term.
* Preemptively averted by Sgt. Howie in ''Film/TheWickerMan'' (1977). "Now you can wrap it up any way you like, but you people are about to commit ''murder''."
* A profoundly nonsensical example shows up in ''Film/{{Troll 2}}'':
-->'''Holly:''' [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend He's not my beau]]. He's my ''boyfriend''!
* ''Film/TheBigLebowski'':
-->'''The Dude:''' Just stay away from my fucking lady friend.\\
'''Da Fino:''' Hey, hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.\\
'''The Dude:''' She's not my "special lady," she's my fucking lady friend.
* Gargamel isn't obsessed with Film/TheSmurfs, he just "can't stop thinking about them".
* From ''Film/TheShining'', as Jack Torrance has lost it and starts menacing his wife.
-->'''Jack:''' I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash them right the fuck in!
* In ''Film/XMenFirstClass'', Emma Frost interrupts the CIA Director and Stryker Sr. when they're discussing the possibility of a war. She prefers not to use that term; it implies that both sides have an equal chance of winning. Though it doesn't imply that at all, of course. See the Anglo-Zanzibar War for example (or many others). Made for a good piece of dialogue though.
* In ''Film/NationalTreasure'', [[Creator/NicolasCage Ben]] tells Riley that when UsefulNotes/ThomasEdison was asked about his first failed 1000 attempts to make a light bulb, he replied that he didn't fail. He just figured out 1000 ways how ''not'' to make a light bulb.
* In ''Film/GetHimToTheGreek'', Aldous offers the sage advice: "Don't think of it as a threesome, think of it as having sex with your girlfriend while someone else also has sex with your girlfriend." This one actually makes ''some'' amount of sense, since there's a distinction between these kind of threeways, and the kind that involve lovemaking between all three participants.
* In ''Film/TheBluesBrothers'', Jake finds out from Elwood that the rest of their old band had taken straight jobs. Jake is upset that Elwood lied to him and claimed that the band might still get back together; Elwood replies, "It wasn't a lie... it was bullshit."
* A classic example from ''Film/ThisIsSpinalTap'':
-->'''Marty:''' The last time Tap toured America, they were, uh, booked into 10,000 seat arenas, and 15,000 seat venues, and it seems that now, on their current tour, they're being booked into 1,200 seat arenas, 1,500 seat arenas, and uh, I was just wondering, does this mean uh... the popularity of the group is waning?\\
'''Ian:''' Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no... no, no, not at all. I, I, I just think that the... uh... their appeal is becoming more selective.
* In ''Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron'', Tony has a plan involving the casket they just recovered from Ultron.
-->'''Bruce:''' So, you want me to help you put Jarvis into this thing?\\
'''Tony:''' No, of course not! I want to help ''you'' put Jarvis in this thing. We're out of my field here. You know bio-organics better than anyone.
** Ultron gets in on the act too.
--->'''Wanda Maximoff:''' Is that why you've come, to end the Avengers?\\
'''Ultron:''' I've come to save the world! But, also... [[BluntYes yeah]].
* From ''Film/ThorTheDarkWorld'':
-->'''Loki:''' ''[to Odin]'' It's not that I don't love our talks, it's just... I don't love them.
* In ''Film/HighSchoolMusical 2'', [[JerkAss Sharpay]] whines about how she doesn't deserve the bad things currently happening to her, as (in her view) she's a good person: "I've never lied! {{Beat}} Except when necessary..."
* From ''Film/MissionImpossibleRogueNation'':
-->'''Luther:''' Benji needed my help.
-->'''Benji:''' I didn't need help. I just...I needed assistance, it's a different thing.
* ''If These Walls Could Talk 2'':
--->'''Fran''': It's not that we don't want you in the child's life.
--->'''Kal''': But really, it's mainly... it's just that we don't want you... ({{Beat}}) in the child's life.

* In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban'', Cornelius Fudge says "Sirius Black didn't kill Pettigrew. He destroyed him!" In fairness to Fudge, [[spoiler:the prevailing theory/official story at the time was that]] Black [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill caused an explosion in a crowded street, and Pettigrew was caught at the center such that the biggest/only part of him they could recover and identify was a finger]]. Blowing someone up is a fairly extreme way to kill someone, especially given the existence of spells that can kill quickly and silently.
* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'':
** Sam Vimes: "I was a drunk. You have to be richer than I was to be an alcoholic."
** Granny Weatherwax doesn't get lost. She always knows where she is. It's the rest of the world that has a location problem.
** Literature/{{Discworld}} itself doesn't have continuity errors, but it does occasionally have alternate pasts. This is not just a clever reinterpretation--attempting to understand the canon timeline is an exercise in futility because the timeline in the Discworld was literally shattered into a billion pieces and glued together bit by bit by a bunch of monks. ''Twice'' (that we've seen in detail so far...it's strongly implied that the History Monks do this ''all the time''). These monks are also constantly shunting time from places with too much to places with too little, so how long things take depends on how long they need to take.
** The ''Discworld'' books have also used the "poor people are mad, rich people are eccentric" line a few times. In the ''Companion'' it adds that King Ludwig the Tree (who believed there should be a new kind of frog, and wore his underpants on his head) was "a little confused".
** The Assassin's Guild are masters of this trope:
## Small-a assassins are thugs who kill people for money; capital-A Assassins are [[WickedCultured refined gentlemen of wealth and breeding who enjoy food, wine, and culture]] and are occasionally commissioned by other refined gentlemen of wealth and breeding to "remove, for a consideration, any inconvenient razors from the candyfloss of life".
## Capital-A Assassins do not "kill" people. They "inhume", "delete", "rub out", or "remove" people, but "killing" implies a certain unprofessionalism.
## Capital-A Assassins are ''never'' "employed". They are "commissioned", "engaged", "retained", "contracted"[[note]]Of the four, the most valid. There exists a minor but valid distinction under RealLife Employment Law that presumably also applies on the Discworld[[/note]].
** The Assassins' Guild are so insistent on this, they've got regular citizens doing it. In ''Discworld/{{Jingo}}'', when Angua asks Carrot if Snowy Slopes (a deceased criminal) is an assassin, Carrot replies, "No. He just kills people for money."
** It's not "necromancy", it's "Post-Mortem Communication". Necromancy is a very bad form of magic, done only by evil wizards. [[NoTrueScotsman Since we are not evil wizards, what we are doing cannot possibly be called necromancy]].
** As the author has asserted, Fourecks is NOT UsefulNotes/{{Australia}}. It just happens to share certain suspicious resemblances, turned UpToEleven.
* Literature/CiaphasCain, '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM''', has an interesting take on this. Usually the reword puts someone in a better light. He, on the other hand, spends hundreds of pages explaining in detail how he is ''not'' a hero, that he doesn't charge the enemy, he's really retreating through them. You can bet each one of his stories has hundreds of these rewordings; being the ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}'' universe, though, he ''is'' a BadAss.
* ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' has Ax retort that he did not ''fall asleep'' in class, as has been insinuated, he just became calm and restful and not completely alert.
-->'''Rachel:''' Did you snore when you got all calm and restful and not completely alert?
* The ''Lasher'' series:
-->'''Mona:''' I didn't lose my virginity. [[UpToEleven I obliterated all traces of its existence]].
* Inverted in the fourth ''Literature/ArtemisFowl'' book, when Trouble Kelp orders his troops to "retreat". The narration points out the troops' disbelief; whether it's called a retreat or a tactical withdrawal, they're still running away.
** "It ain't got nothing to do with luck. Fortune delivered you into my hands."
* Becoming involved in the machinations of Contact in ''[[Literature/TheCulture Look to Windward]]'', Ziller suggests some of the Minds may be lying and is corrected by a Contact drone in an ExpospeakGag fashion:
-->'''Drone:''' Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confound, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent, and willfully misunderstand with what appears to be a positively gleeful relish and are generally perfectly capable of contriving to give one an utterly unambiguous impression of their future course of action while in fact intending to do exactly the opposite, but they never lie. Perish the thought.
* In ''Literature/HonorHarrington'', when a Grayson makes a promise to a doomed man, the text states that it was not a promise, but an oath. Possibly justified, since Graysons are all highly religious.
* ''Literature/TheBelgariad'' has a lot of fun with this, particularly regarding nautical terms. Land-based characters are frequently called out on their use of "tip over" instead of "capsize", "right" instead of "starboard", and "boat" instead of "ship".
* ''Literature/SherlockHolmes'' has this in "The Adventure of Black Peter":
-->"You say I murdered Peter Carey; I say I killed Peter Carey, and there's all the difference."
:: In the man's defense, Peter Carey had attacked him first. He was essentially saying that he killed the man in self-defense, rather than murdering him in cold blood, which, of course, is a ''very'' significant difference in a legal context.
* ''[[Literature/HilaryTamar Thus Was Adonis Murdered]]'' by Sarah Caudwell has a nice example:
-->"It's not exactly that she's unobservant. It's just that she doesn't always notice what's happening."
* ''Literature/AnimalFarm'': One of the commandments of the animal-run farm is that "All animals are equal." Once the pigs get used to abusing their power to place themselves far above all others, they alter the rule to be "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
* Acheron Hades, the main villain of the first ''Literature/ThursdayNext'' novel, isn't "mad", despite the fact that he does terrible things for the sake of doing them. No, he's "differently-moraled". And don't you forget it.
* ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'': In ''Literature/SkinGame'' Murphy asks Harry if he really intends to rob Hades. Harry replies that he intends to ''burgle'' Hades, and that it won't be robbery since he, in spite of Murphy's previous impressions of him, is not about to offer violence to a ''god''. There is a genuine legal distinction between robbery and burglary, which most people don't think about much, but Murphy, being a police officer, would be well aware of the difference (namely, "Robbery" involves violence or the threat of it, while "Burglary" only requires taking stuff).
* In ''[[Literature/MonsterHunterInternational Monster Hunter Legion]]'':
** The Hunters are fighting a monster that can take your worst fears and make them real. Trip worries about what the it might be able to pull from Owen's mind:
--->'''Trip:''' I mean, come on, you've been to Hell.\\
'''Owen:''' It wasn't really Hell. It was more of an infinite dimension of eternal suffering populated by awful beings beyond comprehension. Totally different.
** The sequel contains descriptions of what a Christian like Trip would probably consider Hell (the dimension where Lucifier and the other Fallen Angels were banished after their rebellion against God failed), and it reveals that yes, it is in fact a totally different place from the dimension of the Old Ones that Owen visited, and they don't have much in common beyond the fact that they both suck.
* In Paul Robinson's ''In the Matter Of: The Gatekeeper: The Gate Contracts'', George Green is asked if he was rude to someone. He pulls a RulesLawyer and asks for the definition of "rude". His boss hands him an electronic dictionary and discovers he was, so he admits it. Later he tells his boss he was going to say no, he had been "curt" but he discovered it's essentially the same thing, so he said yes, he was rude.
* ''Literature/EndersGame'':
** Graff claims that Ender isn't a killer, he just "wins thoroughly"...by killing his opponents.
** Similarly, WordOfGod is that Ender didn't exterminate the Buggers, he "removed their ability to make war" - and it just so happened that he did so by exterminating them. This isn't just sophistry, though: the idea that the morality of an action is determined solely by the motives behind it is prominent throughout the series, to the point that it's at the core of the religion Ender founds.
* In ''Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'', the Oompa-Loompas' song about Augustus Gloop:
--> But don’t, dear children, be alarmed; \\
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed, \\
Although, of course, we must admit \\
He will be ''altered'' quite a bit. \\
He’ll be ''quite'' changed from what he’s been, \\
When he goes through the fudge machine.
:: As the song goes on to make clear, "altered" includes being sliced up with knives and boiled.
* In ''Literature/StarWarsKenobi'', [[spoiler:Orrin Gault]], deep in debt to {{Loan Shark}}s, doesn't want Annileen's money! He just wants to marry her so he can access her account!

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* In an episode of ''Series/{{Selfie}}'', Eliza is hit by a car and then falls down a manhole. When Henry comes to visit her, she says she's okay--and then lists her terrible injuries.
-->'''Eliza:''' Oh, it's not a big deal. I just got hit by a smart car, dislocated my tailbone, fell down a manhole, fractured my pelvis, banged my head, got a concussion, saw the white light, ran into Tupac and Biggie, who squashed it.
* On ''Series/{{Angel}}'', Cordelia tries to move in with Angel when she gets sick of her own roach-infested apartment, saying "It's not that you're my last resort; it's just that I had nowhere else to go."
* ''Series/{{Smallville}}'':
-->'''Chloe Sullivan:''' This is not a date. This is a fact-finding mission to see if he deserves a date.
** InsistentTerminology possibly due to the fact that she was still trying to snag [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Clark Kent]] (she was talking about another guy).
* ''Series/DoctorWho'':
** The Eleventh Doctor does one with himself in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E9NightTerrors "Night Terrors"]]: "Pantophobia. Not fear of pants, though, if that's what you're wondering. It's the fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose, in that case."
** Later, when the Doctor and the TARDIS get to speak.
--->'''The TARDIS:''' Then you stole me. And I stole you.\\
'''The Doctor:''' I borrowed you.\\
'''The TARDIS:''' Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing which was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?
** And of course, famously:
--->'''Dalek:''' ''[to Cybermen]'' THIS IS NOT WAR!! THIS IS PEST CONTROL!!![[note]]Technically, no, pest control is ''not'' war, but the ''implication'' is clearly that the Daleks ''do'' in fact intend to wage war against the Cybermen--they simply do not wish to dignify it with the name of "war." After all, [[Film/TheAvengers2012 boots do not "make war" on ants]].[[/note]]
* Inverted (sort of) in ''Series/{{Firefly}}'':
-->'''Inara:''' Well, since I can't seem to find work as a Companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!\\
''[uncomfortable silence]''\\
'''Mal:''' [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne Petty?]]\\
'''Inara:''' I didn't mean petty.\\
'''Mal:''' What did you mean?\\
'''Inara:''' ...''Suo-shee''?\\
'''Mal:''' [[LostInTranslation That's Chinese for "petty".]]
** From "Objects In Space":
--->'''River:''' She understands. She doesn't comprehend.\\
'''Mal:''' [[SarcasmMode Glad we have that cleared up>]]
** Also from "Objects In Space":
--->'''Simon:''' So you're a bounty hunter.\\
'''Jubal Early:''' No... That ain't it at all.\\
'''Simon:''' Then what are you?\\
'''Jubal Early:''' I'm a bounty hunter.
%%* ''Literature/GossipGirl'': "Actually, it's hash. I find it gives a softer high."
* Inverted on ''Series/TheVicarOfDibley'' in "Love and Marriage", when Alice shows her mum's ideas for her wedding dress (which includes Teletubbies, a bobbie's helmet, and a [[LiteralMinded train]] made of ''Thomas the Tank Engine'' characters, all made of wool and linoleum). Geraldine asks if she can give her honest opinion and Alice says yes... so long as it's not nasty or critical in any way.
%%* The Dutch children's show ''Series/BassieEnAdriaan'' gives us a [[RunningGag repeated example]]:
%%-->'''Bassie:''' ''[usually while drifting to sleep]'' I'll go look at that on the inside of my eyes.
%%** Usually this implied "I'm going to dream about that."
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'':
** Cordelia does this as early as the second episode.
--->'''Cordelia:''' I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more.
** Buffy also prefers to think of it as [[InsistentTerminology "slaying"]] vampires rather than "killing" them.[[note]]She's on somewhat firm ground, linguistically. [[HaveAGayOldTime Historically]], "slay" meant "cause the death of, including justifiably", while "kill" meant "murder"... and "murder" meant "assassinate"; the coinage of "assassinate" by Shakespeare probably contributed to the definition-creep of the other words.[[/note]]
* From ''Series/BurnNotice'':
-->'''Sam Axe:''' Yeah, actually, I need you to keep your head down for a while 'cause this is going to get worse before it gets better.\\
'''Madeline:''' Sam... you're asking me to hide?\\
'''Sam:''' Oh, no, no, no, of course not. I just need you to be some place where no one can see you.
** Quoth Westen, upon being asked what he was thinking threatening an FBI agent for information: "I didn't threaten him. I asked him questions... with a gun in my hand." (If you saw the scene... he was ''totally'' threatening him.)
* ''Series/TheDailyShow'':
** From John Stewart: "[The Bush] Administration does not torture logic, no! This administration merely flew logic in an unmarked plane to Bulgaria. Whatever happened to logic there, we have no idea."
** John Oliver once insisted that [[PornStash a box marked "porn"]] in fact contained erotica, which was his legacy and had to go to a library.
* Rigel from ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' does this a lot.
** He insists that he never retreats, but "strategically maneuvers".
** When once accused of "snurching" (''Farscape''-ese for stealing), he responds, "I don't snurch, I...''procure''."
* This bit from ''Series/HelloCheeky'', just after Tim has told a dirty joke to the camera.
-->'''Barry:''' Please! There's no room for vulgarity on this program!
-->'''John:''' Why?
-->'''Barry:''' There's too much filth and nonsense!
* ''Series/HeyDude'':
-->'''Buddy:''' Mom, Dad, I'm gonna lasso you two if you don't stop yelling!\\
'''Mr. Ernst:''' We're not yelling, Buddy, we're talking loudly.\\
'''Buddy:''' That's what you always say.
* Monty Python's Eric Idle did a sketch on ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' in which he begins a talk show on which he'll be interviewing Richard Nixon by assuring the audience that his show is, of course, "completely uncensored, except for the little bits we'll cut out."
* From ''Series/RedDwarf'':
** In the episode "Emohawk: Polymorph II":
--->'''Kryten:''' It's charging us with looting Space Corps derelicts.\\
'''Lister:''' But we don't loot Space Corps derelicts. We just hack our way in and swipe what we need!\\
'''Rimmer:''' ...Lister, if this goes to trial, I demand separate lawyers.
** Also from the episode "Holoship":
--->'''Rimmer:''' Oh, and sir--you're wrong. We won't be apart, we just... won't be together. ''[{{beat}}]'' I cannot believe I just said that.
** This is itself a callback to some crappy ''Film/{{Casablanca}}'' knockoff they were watching at the start of the episode. (Rimmer considered it {{Glurge}}.)
--->'''Marnie:''' We'll always be together! It's just... that we'll be apart.
* A skit on ''Radio/RoyalCanadianAirFarce'' during the Bre-X scandal: "Now, Pamela [Wallin, a somewhat famous Canadian news anchor], we don't lie--we misappropriate the truth."
* ''Franchise/StarTrek'':
** ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'':
*** The episode "Court Martial" has this exchange when Spock tries to defend Kirk on the witness stand.
---->'''Shaw:''' Are you disputing with the computer?\\
'''Spock:''' I am not disputing with the computer; I am merely stating that it is wrong.
*** Several times through the series and movies, Spock is accused of lying, only to reply that he "exaggerated", or "implied" or in some other way [[WillNotTellALie deliberately led others to false conclusions without technically lying]].
** ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'':
*** At one point, Sisko says, "I wasn't yelling. I was expressing my opinion loudly." It seems to run in the family, as his father once claimed "I wasn't sleeping, I was checking my eyelids for holes."
*** The Female Changeling, when declaring the need to pull back their forces, is accused of retreating by her Breen allies. She and Weyoun immediately try to spin it as a momentary withdrawal so they can build up their forces and attack again.
* In ''Series/TheXFiles'', Mulder once claimed "I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation."
* "It's one of those irregularly declining words. I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he's round the twist." Bernard Woolley, ''Series/YesMinister''. Also, "I hold confidential briefings, you leak, he's been charged under section 2A of the Official Secrets Act."
* ''Series/{{JAG}}'': "Heroes" in the second season has Harm [[NeverLiveItDown firing a loaded submachine gun]] [[CourtroomAntics into the courtroom ceiling]]. Mac, for her part, goes diving under the table when this happens. When she later claims that Marines never hide, Harm asks her what she was doing down there.
-->'''Mac:''' Taking cover.
* Early in the second season of ''Series/GameOfThrones'':
-->'''Janos Slynt:''' I won't have my honor questioned by an imp!\\
'''Tyrion Lannister:''' I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.[[note]]Actually a good point; "question" usually implies one is unsure of the answer. Tyrion is not asking Janos to prove he's not dishonorable, he's saying he ''knows'' Janos is dishonorable--and thus, is firing him.[[/note]]
* Also from ''Series/{{MASH}}'':
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Oh, no. No credit extended to visiting supply sergeants.
-->'''BJ:''' It's nothing personal, he just doesn't trust you.
** Also, when Margaret states that they are blackmailing Frank, Hawkeye and BJ respond, "[[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord Blackmail is such an ugly word]]. We prefer extortion."
* ''Series/{{Arrow}}'':
-->'''Oliver:''' Felicity, are you hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe?\\
'''Felicity:''' [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord "Hacking" is such an ugly word.]] No, I'm... ''[pauses, can't come up with a better word]'' yeah, totally hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe.
* ''Series/{{Community}}'': "She's not dead. Her brain, heart, lungs, and kidneys stopped working".
* On the 2010 reimagined ''Series/HawaiiFive0'', Danny is a regular offender of this, usually when it comes to Steve and his tendency to do things his way which, according to Danny, is the insane way that requires professional help.
-->'''Steve:''' You were worried about me!\\
'''Danno:''' No, I wasn't worried, I was rationally concerned.
* Quoth Esposito, in an episode of ''Series/{{Castle}}'', while chasing a suspect: "No, I didn't ''lose'' him, I just... don't have visual contact."
* ''Series/TheRevolutionWillBeTelevised'' has the sketch character of Eugene X, a South African white supremacist. He denies being racist, saying that he instead knows some races are superior to others.
* ''Series/StargateSG1'', when Mitchell finds Carter has been working in her lab all night.
-->'''Mitchell:''' Did you sleep here last night?\\
'''Carter:''' No... I slept down the hall in my quarters.
* On ''Series/SlingsAndArrows'', playwright Lionel Train suffers an attack of insecurity over his new play, and tries to get the actors to improvise a script for him.
-->'''Lionel:''' You're paraphrasing. That's not what I want you to do. I want to tell the story as written, but in your own words.\\
'''Ellen:''' That's what paraphrasing is.
* In the ''Series/{{Chuck}}'' episode "Chuck Versus the Best Friend", Morgan wants to figure out if his ex has a new boyfriend.
-->'''Morgan:''' Dude, it's not stalking, okay? It's caring enough about someone to learn things about them they won't tell you themselves.\\
'''Chuck:''' Which is stalking.
* From ''Series/NewsRadio'':
-->'''Dave:''' Wait a minute, you wrote that review?\\
'''Jimmy:''' Why not? I own the damn magazine.\\
'''Dave:''' Isn't that a conflict of interest?\\
'''Jimmy:''' No, no, no, no... well, yeah.
* ''Series/{{Veep}}'': In "C*ntgate", Mike states to the press that the President is not planning on bailing out banks, she's just going to give them large infusions of cash.
-->'''[[IntrepidReporter Leon West]]:''' [[LampshadeHanging That's literally the definition of "bailout", Mike.]]
* In ''Series/TheTwilightZone'' Episode entitled "Number Twelve Looks Just Like You" Everyone that reaches the age of nineteen undergoes "Transformation."It is [[CrapsaccharineWorld a change in physical appearance that makes you "beautiful and young with the only drawback being there are only two choices for each gender and everyone looks the same as everyone else.]] The doctors assure the main character that nobody has ever been forced to undergo the transformation if they didn't want to, before calmly adding "We just find out why you don't want to and make the necessary correction."
* ''Series/{{House}}: Cuddy confronts House about something or other, and he says, "Who squealed? Taub?" Cuddy responds, "I'll never tell. But yes."

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3oFVAyAEWs "Yes, we Have no Bananas"]]
* Verse three of Music/TheBeatles' ''Strawberry Fields Forever'':
-->Always, no, sometimes think it's me\\
But you know I know that it's a dream\\
I think a "no" will be a "yes" but it's all wrong\\
That is I think I disagree.
* "Only on Days That End in 'Y'" by Clay Walker:
-->The only time I ever miss you, honey\\
Is when I'm alone or when I'm with somebody\\
Your memory never even gets to me\\
Except for when I'm awake and when I'm sleeping\\
Girl, you never even cross my mind\\
Except just when I think I've left you far behind\\
Only when I laugh, only when I cry\\
And only on days that end in "Y"

[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* The ''Wrestling/{{WWE}}'' uses the phrase "released to pursue future endeavors" as a much politer euphemism for "We fired his ass".
** There is also the phrase: "WWE has come to terms with the release of [insert wrestlers name], we wish him/her the best in his/her future endeavors." Not surprisingly, it has reached [[MemeticMutation meme status.]]
** In his series ''Wrestle! Wrestle!'', [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]] uses "future endeavors" to mean "The company is screwing you up the ass, quit now while you still have your dignity".
* While normally just a case of InsistentTerminology, whenever a [[strike:ring announcer]] commentator or [[strike:wrestler]] superstar verbally corrects their colleague about how to refer to [[strike:ProfessionalWrestling]] Sports Entertainment, it starts slipping into this territory. Especially if it's blatant enough to get [[strike:the fans]] The Universe to start booing about it.
* When a wrestler gets suspended it's not because testing revealed them to have massive amounts of steroids in their system, it's because they committed a "wellness violation".

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
* A joke from before TheGreatPoliticsMessUp where an American and a Russian are racing with the American winning. When the Russian newspapers print the story, they read that the American was second-to-last and the Russian was in second place.

* In the musical ''Theatre/FiniansRainbow'', there's the song "When the Idle Poor Become the Idle Rich", which covers this trope. A typical example:
-->When [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney a rich man]] loses on a horse\\
Oh, isn't he a sport?\\
When a poor man loses on a horse--\\
He's a gambler, he's a spender\\
He's a low life, he's a reason for divorce!
* From ''Theatre/IntoTheWoods'', when the Witch reveals to the Baker that she claimed his younger sibling as payment for a wish.
-->'''Baker:''' I had a brother?
-->'''Witch:''' No! But you had a sister.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* ''VideoGame/SonicBoom: Rise of Lyric'' has Amy suggest that she and Sonic go one way, while Knuckles and Tails go another. Knuckles calls the plan stupid...then suggests the same thing, just in different wording. [[SureLetsGoWithThat Sonic just agrees to it to get Knuckles moving]].
* ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty 2'' has a mission called "Retreat? We're Advancing in Another Direction".
* ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' joins in on the fun. Victory in The Halls of Reflection relies upon you running from [[BigBad The Lich King]] and escaping his fortress before he one-shot kills your entire party. The linked achievement for doing this in a certain time is "We're Not Retreating; We're Advancing In A Different Direction!"
* In the rerelease of ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyTactics'', [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXII Balthier]] clarifies for some bounty hunters: "I'm no thief. I'm a Sky Pirate."
** Because of Japanese linguistic conventions, the word "pirate" refers to one who is not in a Navy and not a fisherman - so it can also refer to people who claim salvage and seafaring (or skyfaring in this case) Treasure Hunters. Although he may be a thief as well, in Japanese media you can't assume Thief = Pirate.
*** He has a series of abilities called Plunder, which are just more effective variants of the Thief's Steal abilities. It is made pretty clear what his job entails.
** Similarly, in ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI'', Locke insists, "I'm not a thief, I'm a treasure hunter!" Regardless of the fact that some of the treasures he hunts are currently owned by someone else.
* VideoGame/FireEmblemAwakening: Regarding the passing on of important information:
--> '''Lissa:''' Vaike! Did you forget to tell Stahl about our mission?
-->'''Vaike:''' The Vaike never forgets! ...I just don't always remember, is all...
* [[LordErrorProne Yuan Shao]] in ''VideoGame/DynastyWarriors 5'': "This is not a retreat! Rather, a move for my future!"
* Used in the PC adventure game ''The Dagger of Amon Ra'':
-->"[[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord Kill is such an ugly word]]. Actually, we're going to [[HumanSacrifice sacrifice]] you to Amon Ra!"
* ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword'': The developers said that the girl in the early promotional art wasn't the Master Sword, she was the Goddess Sword...which becomes the Master Sword later.
* In the first case of ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney'', prosecutor Winston Payne asks defendant Larry Butz if his ex-girlfriend, Cindy Stone (the murder victim in the case), broke up with him:
-->'''Butz:''' I wasn't dumped! She just wasn't taking my phone calls... or seeing me... ever. ''What's it to you, anyway?!''\\
'''Payne:''' Mr. Butz, what you describe is generally what we mean by "dumped".
* In the ''Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen'' game, this is used by [[BloodKnight Grindor]] to question [[TheStarscream Starscream's]] [[DirtyCoward courage under fire]]:
-->'''Grindor:''' I'm sorry, Starscream, I forgot: you don't retreat, you advance backwards!
* From ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'':
-->'''Courier:''' In the meantime, you'd rule Vegas as some kind of dictator?\\
'''Mr. House:''' I prefer the term "autocrat".
** Also, from the Old World Blues DLC:
--->'''Dr. Klein:''' I'm not going to harm it. I'm going to dissect it until it's dead!
* When you're Ubercharged as Soldier in ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'':
-->'''Soldier:''' We have you surrounded, at least from this side!
* ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}'': "I'm not saying you owe me, but I am ''implying'' it."
* ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedIII'': Connor has just gone through an epic naval battle at Chesapeake Bay, all to get some French ships to aid him in his assault on Ft. George in New York. When he begins to explain his request to the Admiral, the following exchange occurs:
-->'''Admiral de Grasse:''' Wait, wait. I thought you might need some pirates killed, or goods transported. And instead, you ask us to... what, shell New York?\\
'''Connor:''' No. Of course not.\\
'''de Grasse:''' Ah...\\
'''Connor:''' Only part of it.\\
'''de Grasse:''' ...explain yourself.
* In ''VideoGame/{{Persona 3}}'', near after TheReveal regarding [[spoiler:Ikutsuki's manipulations to Eiichiro Takeba's video]]:
-->[[spoiler:'''Ikutsuki:''' Ah yes, he did record that himself]]. Of course, I had to make some modifications.
-->'''[[spoiler:Yukari]]:''' You doctored it?
-->'''[[spoiler:Ikusuki]]:''' I corrected it.
* In ''VideoGame/SidMeiersAlphaCentauri'', "war" has become a taboo term, on account of the memory of EarthThatWas. Nevertheless, the various factions still get into bloody conflicts with each other. So how do they get around this? Well, instead of "declaring war," they "[[DeadlyEuphemism pronounce Vendetta]]." [[{{Hypocrite}} That oughta do it]]!
* In ''Gizmos: Riddle of the Universe'' Kurt suggests reporting a crashed NASA unmanned spacecraft to the Gizmo Land government.
-->'''Sid:''' Are you serious? Man up!\\
'''Kurt:''' Hey, I'm not scared, I'm just a little frightened.

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* From [[http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0566.html episode 566]] of ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids''.
-->'''Palpatine:''' The Jedi have become a threat to the Republic, and... um...\\
'''Clone Trooper:''' Oh, no! That's terrible.\\
'''Palpatine:''' ...they attacked me.\\
'''Clone Trooper:''' Those bastards! Do you want us to kill them, sir?\\
'''Palpatine:''' Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that, but... [[MurderIsTheBestSolution Yes]].
* [[http://evil-inc.com/comic/when-worlds-collide-part-four-10/ This]] wonderful ''Webcomic/EvilInc'' comic {{subvert|edTrope}}s the expectation of the "[[AntiHero bad guy]]" when he insists on InsistentTerminology.
* Vincent from ''Webcomic/MyLifeInBlue'':
-->'''Vincent:''' I'm not queer, I'm inverted, [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe thou lie-breeding swine]].
* ''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFoxhound''
-->'''Ocelot:''' 'Torture' is such an '''inelegant''' word. [[TortureTechnician I'm an artist.]] [[GroinAttack Their testicles are my canvas.]]
* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'':
** Haley isn't a thief; she's a "freelance wealth redistribution specialist."
** She also describes Elan [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0017.html thus]]: "He's not useless, he's... use-impaired."
** Varsuvius [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0641.html insists]] [[AmbiguousGender she/he]] did ''NOT'' [[DealWithTheDevil sell his/her soul to fiends]] but merely [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness negotiated an exchange with three gentlemen from other planes of existence]], specifically [[TheLegionsOfHell planes in the ventral direction]], [[ExpospeakGag involving a fixed-term lease with an occupancy date yet to be determined]]. The distinction between a sale and a lease is important (to the story if not to the conversation), the attempt to imply that the other parties in the agreement were anything other than [[TheLegionsOfHell fiends]] not so much.
* ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' got a lot of this:
** Or [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-11-25 this]] one, on which our amorph answers:
--->'''TV Con:''' …If what I just said insulted your intelligence, you should change the channel now.\\
'''Schlock:''' I need this guy's address, and some breacher-round reloads.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-12-14 Andy is not bait. He is flypaper.]]
* From ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}'': [[http://www.misfile.com/?date=2009-01-12 I'm not spying, I'm strategically listening.]]
* From ''Webcomic/ThreePanelSoul'': "[[http://threepanelsoul.com/2012/06/11/on-workforces They're not replacements. They're just going to do the same job as you, and eventually you won't work here anymore.]]"
* From ''Webcomic/{{Vexxarr}}'', a variation.
-->'''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Firstofficerbot]]:''' Is this true?\\
'''Vexxarr:''' Only in the sense that it's factually accurate...
* In ''Webcomic/GoGetARoomie'', [[http://www.gogetaroomie.com/index.php?id=209 Lillian answers two questions from Roomie in this form.]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* "Technically you could call me a SerialKiller. I don't know if that's the correct noun. Personally, I just think I'm a bloke who had a few people put down. I don't have [[HearingVoices any voices in my head, and I haven't got any]] [[OedipusComplex mother-love fantasies]]. Well, not really." ~ [[spoiler:Terrence]], ''WebVideo/KateModern: The Last Work''
* ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'':
-->'''Joey:''' Shut up, Tristan! You just want to get into my sister's pants!\\
'''Tristan:''' No, I don't. I just want to ''have sex'' with her! ''[{{beat}}]'' Oh, [[CloudCuckoolander that's what you meant]]!
* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'':
** There's Sarge's "We're not retreating; We're advancing, towards future victory!"
** Also: "It's not pink, it's lightish red! Which gets the appropriate response: "They have a word for that. PINK!"
** "I wouldn't really use the word '[[ReplacementGoldfish replace]]', but there's no word for 'take over for you and make everything better almost immediately', so we just say 'replace'."
* From the ''Website/SomethingAwful'' review of the movie ''The House That Screamed'': "I'm not saying I disliked the film, I'm just saying that I'd rather rip all of my teeth out with rusty pliers, make them into a comb, and use the comb made of my own teeth to scrape all of my skin off than watch it again."
* This line from a [[http://childrenwithprivilege.tumblr.com/post/29074533665/pedo-fillet-the4mat-childrenwithprivilege post]] on "Children Who Need To Check Their Privilege":
-->"Ignorant shithead, I never said “KILL ALL WHITE BABIES” you’re putting words in my mouth asshole. We just need to kill ''some'' of them, especially the racist ones."
* In ''WebVideo/ThirdRateGamer'''s ''Daze Before Christmas'' review:
-->''Ooh, I know what you're thinking: "How dare you make fun of Santa Claus!?" But I'm not! This game is awesome, but it's a piece of shit.''
** This was a parody of what WebVideo/TheIrateGamer said about ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros2'':
--->''I know what you're thinking--that I'm going to sit here and bash ''Super Mario 2''. But before you start sending your hate mail, just hear me out. Now, I don't hate ''Mario 2'', but when compared to the other ''Mario'' games, this one just has "ass" written all over it!''

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* In the ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' episode "Up a Tree", Finn's conversation with the squirrel guarding his cell:
-->'''Finn:''' So does that mean I'm a prisoner forever?\\
'''Squirrel:''' Well yes. And no. Are you a prisoner? Yes. Will you ever be free? No.
* In the little-known Creator/DreamWorksAnimation miniseries ''WesternAnimation/InvasionAmerica'' when the evil Dragit attempts to capture the Cale Oosha so he can invade/conquer Earth, this exchange takes place:
-->'''Cale:''' TREASON!\\
'''Dragit:''' Revolution.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}'' in an episode just after Chas and Kira's wedding (and after the word "no" was established as Chuckie's first word), Chuckie is offered some juice and accepts, despite replying with "no". The adults understand him. This is TruthInTelevision, as "no" is easier to pronounce and is learned earlier.
* In ''WesternAnimation/AaahhRealMonsters'', Oblina practically uses one as a CatchPhrase, usually after someone disregards her advice and later [[LaserGuidedKarma pays for it]]: "I'm certainly not going to say 'I told you so'-- but I told you so!"
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'':
** From the episode "The Cryonic Woman":
--->'''Fry:''' Let's do this now and never regret it.\\
'''Fry:''' I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.
*** Earlier in the same episode:
-->'''Fry''': But she's totally different now! Before she was demanding and possessive, but now she wants me to do stuff for her and be with her all the time!
** From "Anthology of Interest I"
--->'''Bender:''' BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord. I prefer "extortion". [[XtremeKoolLetterz The "x" makes it sound cool.]]
** From "The Sting":
--->'''Leela:''' Are you saying I'm going crazy?\\
'''Professor Farnsworth:''' No, no, no one's saying that... but I'm certainly thinking it loudly.
** In "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back":
-->'''Farnsworth''': The Central Bureaucracy is a tangled mess of red tape and regulations! I've never been, but a friend of mine went mad just trying to find the washroom!\\
'''Leela''': Then we'll need a guide. Someone who's been there before.\\
'''Farnsworth''': Oh, I've been there before! Lots of times!
** In "A Clone of My Own":
-->'''Zoidberg''': Now I'm not saying Professor Farnsworth is old, but considering his age, he's likely to die soon.
*** Later in the same episode:
-->'''Cubert''': Look Professor, I may be identical to you in every possible way but that doesn't mean I'm anything like you!
** From "The Bird-Bot of Ice-Catraz":
-->'''Farnsworth''': Good news, everyone! You're going on a highly controversial mission!\\
'''Fry''': Controversial?\\
'''Farnsworth''': Oh my, no. Now, for this highly controversial mission...
*** Also in the same episode:
-->'''Free Waterfall Sr.''': Now Leela, nobody enjoys shooting penguins. But if you ''have'' to shoot penguins... well, you might as well enjoy it.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':
** "Tennis the Menace":
-->'''Lisa:''' You're replacing me?\\
'''Homer:''' Oh Lisa, dumping is such a harsh word. Let's just say I'm replacing you.
** From "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife":
-->'''Homer:''' I didn't lie! I was writing fiction with my mouth!
** And from "Team Homer":
-->'''Mr. Burns:''' Look at them, Smithers, enjoying their embezzlement.
-->'''Smithers:''' I have a much uglier word for it, sir: ''misappropriation.''
** In "Homer Defined" when the power plant is having a meltdown, Kent Brockman asks Mr. Burns about it in a news report. Mr. Burns replies saying a meltdown "one of those annoying buzzwords" and calls the situation an "unrequested fission surplus."
** "Homer the Heretic"
-->'''Marge:''' Are you actually giving up your faith?\\
'''Homer:''' No! No-no-no-no-no no! Well, yes.
** In "I Am Furious (Yellow)", when Bart creates the web comic "Angry Dad", based on Homer.
-->'''Lisa:''' Bart, this is just Dad.
-->'''Bart:''' It's a CompositeCharacter: your dad, my dad, and a little Maggie's dad.
* In one ''WesternAnimation/AladdinTheSeries'' episode, Iago says "This isn't stealing! It's surplus inventory reduction!"
* Happens all the time in ''WesternAnimation/SonicBoom''. Typically it's Orbot and Cubot making the exchange, though Sonic and Knuckles get a couple as well.
* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''
** "They're not pirate ghosts; they're ''ghost pirates!''". The distinction, apparently, is that a ghost pirate is the ghost of a pirate, whereas a pirate ghost is a ghost that decided to become a pirate.
** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I don't make the rules for crack baby basketball]]. I just think them up and then write them down".
** "I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking. Right, boys?"
* In an episode of the ''WesternAnimation/SuperMarioWorld'' cartoon, Oogtar puts it plain and simple. "Oogtar not lost! Oogtar just... not know where he is."
** Also this exchange:
--->'''Oogtar:''' Oogtar not run. Oogtar jogging for health!\\
'''Yoshi:''' Jogging good for health?\\
'''Oogtar:''' Is when hungry, Oogtar-eating caterpillar behind you!
* ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'':
-->'''Sokka:''' You guys are pirates!\\
'''Pirate:''' We prefer to think of ourselves as "high-risk traders".
* Drakken of ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'' once decided to start "outsourcing" instead of "stealing"...yeah.
* In ''WesternAnimation/DanVs'' "The Bank", Dan corrects Chris that they won't go to jail for robbing the bank. Prison, probably, but not jail.[[note]]There is actually a difference, at least in American English. "Prison" is a state or even federal facility intended for sentences of over a year; "jail" is a municipal or county facility intended for sentences under a year.[[/note]]
* A RunningGag in ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'' is for somebody (usually Krieger) to be accused of some immoral or bizarre activity, then to give a long, implausible denial, and finally state "Also, yes."
* ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy''
** One episode gives us this little exchange:
--->'''Billy:''' [[NoIndoorVoice GRIM!]] Guess what I got on our camping trip! Guess guess guess guess guess!!\\
'''Grim:''' I don't know, Billy!... A rash?\\
'''Billy:''' No!... well, yes.
** There's also this:
--->'''Mandy:''' Objection! He's leading the witness!
--->'''Billy:''' I'm not leading him, I'm just making him say everything I want him to!
* ''WesternAnimation/DangerMouse'' uses this in "Gremlin Alert" when he corners the anti-logic Gremlin with a "how can you agree with me when gremlins always disagree?" argument.
* ''WesternAnimation/UncleGrandpa'', "Driver's Test":
-->'''Uncle Grandpa:''' But do you know how to drive the Uncle Grandpa Way?\\
'''Mary:''' You mean like [[DrivesLikeCrazy on top of buildings and in outer space and stuff]]?\\
'''Uncle Grandpa:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes.
* ''WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends'', "Berry Scary": "We can still do it together, just without you."
* Darwin does this in ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball'' episode "The Name":
-->'''Gumball:''' I can't do it! I'm weak!\\
'''Darwin:''' You're not weak! You just lack upper body strength, lower body strength, and mental strength!
** Later in the same episode:
--->'''Gumball/[[SplitPersonality Zach]]:''' [[ThirdPersonPerson Zach]] doesn't listen... he ''hears''.\\
'''Darwin:''' [[LampshadeHanging They're the same thing]].\\
'''Gumball:''' What's that? I can't ''listen'' you right now.
** And in "The Boss":
--->'''Gumball:''' You have a better idea?\\
'''Darwin:''' No, I have a much better idea.
* Lampshaded in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/MyGymPartnersAMonkey'', where Adam thinks that Lola the llama is trying to steal Ingrid's life.
-->'''Windsor:''' It does appear that Ingrid is a victim of an APA; Aggressive Pack Assimilation. It's when a wayward and oftentimes mentally unstable animal with no pack to speak of attempts to circumvent the normal and customary rituals for joining a group by simply disposing of the weakest member and taking their place.
-->'''Adam:''' So, Lola's stealing Ingrid's life? That's what I said.
-->'''Windsor:''' Yes, but my description was wordier.
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''. Radio/RushLimbaugh regarding his car: "I'm not saying you have to be gay to drive something else, but if you drive something else, you're probably a guy who likes to pleasure other men sexually."
** "It's not so much that I want to kill [my mother], just that I want to... make it so that she's not alive anymore."

[[folder:Real Life]]
* Maj. Gen. Oliver P. Smith, the Commanding General, 1st Marine Division, at the Chosin Reservoir, said, "Retreat, hell! We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction." To a civilian, retreat means "move away from a battle or position" but the military definition is specifically "withdrawal of troops to a more favorable position ''to escape the enemy's superior forces or after a defeat''. Since they were moving to ''attack'' the enemy as part of their break-out, their actions could be described as an advance rather than a retreat.[[note]]Given that they were completely surrounded, ''any'' move in ''any'' direction would have been an attack.[[/note]] What it all comes down to, of course, is that Marines would much rather point out that they were ''attacking'' the enemy instead of getting hung up on the fact that they were ''also'' getting themselves out of a very untenable situation. "Retreat" is a word that brings with it connotations of running away from the fight, which they were certainly not doing.
* People from Brussels have a habit of saying "non peut-etre" ("maybe no") when they actually mean "yes". ''Comicbook/{{Asterix}}'' once parodied this habit mercilessly, to the utter confusion of the Roman legionaries.
* Jasper Carrott did a stand-up routine about the Balinese allegedly hating to answer "No" to any question, leading to a conversation like:
-->'''Carrott:''' Do you have any tartare sauce?\\
'''Balinese waiter:''' Oh, yes! ''[does nothing]''\\
'''Carrott:''' Er... well, can I have some then?\\
'''Balinese waiter:''' Oh, yes! ''[smiles, does nothing]''\\
'''Carrott:''' ''[looks at watch]'' Er... will it be long?\\
'''Balinese waiter:''' ''[nodding pointedly]'' Oh, ''yes''!
** Their neighbors, the Javanese, also have this habit. This concept is called "Inggih, boten kepanggih" which is "Yes" as in "Yes, I understand perfectly what you said, but I never said I'm agreeing with you/confirming that".
* According to William Lutz, author of The New Doublespeak, the first Doublespeak Award went, in 1974, to US Air Force Colonel David Opfer in Phnom Penh, Cambodia for saying to American reporters, "You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support."[[note]]Strictly speaking "air support" is a type of bombing, as distinguished from interdiction and strategic bombing. And the term "bombing" restricts one to the use of bombs exclusively. "Air Support" allows one to also use unguided rockets, missiles, and/or strafing with guns, which are much more useful in a tactical role. It also allows the use of helicopters as a launch vehicle—helicopters don't drop many bombs. (Of course, the distinction between rockets, missiles, and bombs is as lost on the average journalist as that between "''ὁμοούσιον''" and "''ὁμοιούσιον''").[[/note]]. The source of the colonel's complaint is presumably that American journalists [[InsistentTerminology deliberately used only the term]] "bombing", [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything probably in order to bring to mind]] the deliberate bombing of civilian targets that was common in World War II (the only war most of the American public had had any direct contact with)—rather than giving the details of what "air support", something very different, entails (it's generally much more precise and smaller-scale, and mostly only used against enemy forces that are actually a threat).
* David Dinkins, after it was discovered that he hadn't paid income tax some years earlier, replied: “I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
** He didn't commit a crime by taking an action the law prohibits. He failed to comply with the the law by failing to take an action the law requires. The distinction is understandably lost on ordinary citizens who can't get away with either. The difference between an ''offence'' and a ''failure to comply'' can be the difference between a jail sentence and a request from a legal authority to kindly comply with the law.
*** Additionally, different levels of culpability (or ''mens rea'') may be involved: committing a crime generally involves a deliberate act, such as murder, theft, or even driving at a dangerous speed; failure to comply with the law can involve a mere mistake, such as genuinely neglecting to account for a 1099 in preparing your tax return.
** There was a Swedish quote: "Jag har inte begått något brott, jag bara misslyckades med att följa lagen." Translation: "I haven't committed a crime, I simply failed in following the law."
* After losing to the Americans in a sporting event (not the Olympics) the Soviet media (supposedly) claimed that they had come in second, while the US came in second to last. Which is all totally true...since the event only had two nations competing: The U.S. and the Soviets.
* Such a common way of speaking there was a book about racism named (in Finnish) after the phrase: "I'm not racist, ''but''..." (Alternative: "I'm not racist, I just...") There are legitimate ways of continuing at least the latter sentence, of course, but the usual use falls under this trope.
** Now, thanks to the old Internet’s magic, we have: [[http://www.notracistbut.com/ NotRacistBut.com]], [[BileFascination a site where you can enjoy]] [[WhatAnIdiot quotes taken from public facebook search from various]] [[{{Hypocrite}} people who are not racist, but…]]
*** The other one is "I have black/gay/Jewish/white/Asian/insert minority to taste friends..."
* There is a "game" called Conjugation, which works like the "irregularly declining" words noted in the YesMinister example above. I'm liberal, you're radical, he's a bomb-throwing anarchist; I'm cautious, you're conservative, he's puritanical.
* ClarkesThirdLaw can be paraphrased as "the HandWave I'm using isn't magic, it's just science we don't understand yet!" You'd be surprised how often this excuse is given for stories which violate well-understood laws of physics.
* Books on marine mammals will often claim that "the orca isn't a whale, it's a dolphin"... despite the fact that dolphins are whales themselves: in brief, all dolphins are whales, but not all whales are dolphins.
* Daniel Boone once said of himself, "I can't say as ever I was lost, but I was bewildered once for three days."[[note]]This anecdote is sometimes used by the Boy Scouts while training in orientation to make an important distinction: To be ''lost'' is to be beyond hope of recovery. To be ''disoriented'' is to simply not know where you happen to be, a situation which is quite fixable if you do not lose hope.[[/note]]
* It's not a threat; it's a promise.
* This famous dialogue from UsefulNotes/TheFrenchRevolution just after Louis XVI was informed of the Bastille's fall:
-->'''Louis XVI:''' Is it a revolt?\\
'''Aide:''' No, sire. It is a revolution.[[note]]Technically true, as a revolt is a revolution that failed (i.e. does not overthrow the reigning power), while a revolution is a revolt that succeeds. By the time the quote was uttered, it was clear that the ''entire'' French populace was up in arms, and that there was no hope of quashing the revolt without killing everyone, which was an impossibility.[[/note]]
* Bob Barker once asked an obviously jittery game show contestant, "Are you nervous?" In reply, the man stammered, "Er, ah, um, no."
* Field Marshal BernardLawMontgomery had to get round this problem in WW2. during his limited participation on the Battle of the Bulge[[note]] '''Strictly''' limited, but he ''was'' involved. Not as much as he later ''claimed'' to be, though[[/note]], he was placed in command of a significant part of the American forces on the northern flank of the German advance. His American subordinates were clearly unhappy about his request to them to retreat without firing a shot or even having seen the enemy. this was even though Monty had seen their positions were clearly untenable in the event of any determined German attack and could easily be outflanked and encircled. With great and uncharacteristic diplomacy and tact, Monty got them to see that this was not so much a ''retreat'' as a ''strategic realignment'' to positions they could realistically hold, upon which the Germans would blunt their offensive strength, and from which a quick counter-attack could be launched. The Americans complied.
* Common in politics from every side, "It's not a cut, it's an efficiency dividend", "We're not raising taxes, we're indexing them to inflation", "It's not a new tax it's a levy/co-payment/tax adjustment", "It's not a broken promise, circumstances changed which meant we couldn't fulfill our original commitments".