History Main / KungfuJesus

* In ''PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'' this is [[spoiler: Madoka herself. Her kindness is so badass that it rewrites the laws of time, space, and reality itself.]]

-->"''Imagine if Jesus knew kung-fu; that's what everybody is dealing with.''"
-->-- '''John Morrison''', ''ECW on Sci-Fi''

[[caption-width-right:350:"[[CrossesTheLineTwice Let he who is without sin kick the first ass.]]"]]

[[FamilyGuy http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/passion_of_the_christ_2.JPG]]
[[caption-width:680:[[UsefulNotes/{{Christianity}} 0th Commandment]]: [[TheBigLebowski Nobody messes with the J-Man.]]]]

* He who carried TheBookOfEli.

* {{Hamlet 2}} - The song [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LyKxzw6cjg]]"Rock Me Sexy Jesus"

* The Judas Priest song ''Painkiller'' is about God sending a messiah down to Earth to fight evil. This messiah is called the Painkiller, and is a [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot cyborg motorcyclist who rides a motorcycle with circular saws for wheels and a fire breathing dragon for a chassis]]. He proceeds to kick evil's ass and resurrect mankind before returning to heaven. Notable in that the song predates most of the examples here.

*** And plays Bass for Aerosmith

* In ''PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'' this is [[spoiler: Madoka herself.]]

* The absurdist comedy ''LambTheGospelAccordingToBiff, Christ's Childhood Pal'' spends a long time devoted to the time span where the story of Jesus' life is missing from the Bible (roughly from about age 12 to his early 30s). In ''Lamb'' Jesus (and Biff) spend most of this time wandering the east, learning alchemy, science, and Kung Fu, (literally) among other things.

[[http://www.doodiehumor.com/jesusdesktop2.jpg]]

[[FamilyGuy http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/passion_of_the_christ_2.JPG]]

[[caption-width:680:[[UsefulNotes/{{Christianity}} 0th Commandment]]: [[TheBigLebowski Nobody fucks with the J-Man.]]]]

Name based on the ''{{Exalted}}'' fandom and on ''FanFic/AvatarTheAbridgedSeries'' description of Aang as a [[TheChosenOne "Kung Fu Action Jesus"]]. Not to be confused with SomethingAwful goon and LetsPlay aficionado Kung-Fu Jesus.

* The flash ''MadnessCombat'' involves Jesus quite extensively from making zombies to kill the protagonist to murderizing mooks with a massive smith and wesson and a sniper rifle. He also has a sword marked 3:16, this passage being "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

*** I always pictured it as Jesus summoning forth a sword from His mouth, swinging one wide blow and wiping out the entire army with the shockwave it produces. Whatever, it's still the {{Awesome Moment of Crowning}} for the King of Kings.

** I think this paragraph kinda {{mind screw}}ed me.
** Did it? Well, in the (apocryphal) Infancy Gospel of Thomas he killed a couple of kids for getting in his way, and then drove his teacher insane, and then took away people's voices when they got upset about it. Joseph convinced him to fix everything, but it wasn't until some kid accidentally died near him and he got unfairly blamed for it that he apparently started to realize what a social nightmare it is to make everyone hate you with your superpowers, and started ingratiating himself. When he brought the kid (Zeno) back to life, he was really annoyed.

** Don't forget the book of Revelation, in which a figure (commonly believed by some circles to be Jesus), [[HeavyMithril descends from heaven wearing a blood-soaked robe, wielding a double edged sword, leading the armies of heaven in the battle of Armageddon]].

** For the record, the Harrowing thing is perfectly canonical, is accepted by most mainstream churches and has been a popular subject for religious paintings and icons throughout history and across Europe. Methods and details vary.
*** [[CriticalResearchFailure Not quite.]] At least not according to most [[ChristianityIsCatholic protestants.]] While the scene was depicted in Medieval and Renissance artwork, the scene was never in the Bible. The situation is an example of WordOfDante and is not widely believed in modern day.
* According to Islam, two of the major signs that the Day of Judgment (''Yawm ad-Din'') is fast approaching are 1) the appearance of an [[TheAntiChrist Antichrist]] or false messiah (''ad-Dajjal''), followed by 2) the return of Jesus, who will then [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome kill the Antichrist]], end all wars, and preside over a period of total peace and prosperity...until [[spoiler: God knocks down [[SealedEvilInACan the wall that confines the tribes of ''yahjuj'' (Gog) and ''mahjuj'' (Magog)]] and [[ZombieApocalypse they ravage the Earth and even (successfully) attack "the people who live in the sky."]]]] Really.

*** Anyone who claims this is ''obvious'' from the text will be shot with many many nerf pistols.

* ''TheWorldEndsWithYou''. Full stop. [[strike:Jesus]] Joshua can and will use his cell phone to summon vending machines in midair above your opponents. Later on, he levitates in midair with his arms outstretched in the shape of a cross while firing laser beams made out of angels. All of which is nothing compared to [[FanNickname Jesus]] [[ColonyDrop Meteor]]. Then he [[spoiler:dies for your sins and comes back to life ([[XanatosGambit sort of]]), though it takes him a week.]]

* How did you all miss chaos from ''{{Xenosaga}}''? He's implied to be the literal Jesus Christ ''and'' fights with his fists and legs.
** And he [[CutscenePowerToTheMax destroyed Gnosis by touching it with bare hand]].

* I've been told that there is a Norse version of the Bible that portrays Jesus as a righteous warrior in a very literal sense. Whether this is the truth or not I cannot say because I have yet to actually find a copy or record of it. All the same, it's highly believable considering who the supposed authors are.

* According to a bit of ''[[{{Warhammer 40000}} 40K]]'' fluff, Jesus was highly likely one of the many pseudonyms of The Emperor of Mankind. Jesus must have been feeling ''incredibly'' merciful when He only used a bullwhip at the temple.
** That's just because bolters hadn't been invented yet.

* [[FistOfTheNorthStar Kenshiro, Raoh and Toki]] may not be actually Jesus, but they definite have various amounts of his qualities. Toki especially; one of his attacks is [[FanNickname nicknamed]] "The Jesus Beam."

* [[http://www.badkarmaproductions.com/jc/ Jesus Christ: In the Name of the Gun]] - Where else can you see a [[RuleOfCool gun-toting Jesus partner up with a time traveling Ernest Hemingway]] to [[TheyFightCrime fight Nazis]], Mutants, and a massive [[HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct Were-Hitler?]]

** One of the kenning names[[hottip:Norse poetry prided itself on [[ViewersAreGeniuses naming things via referential descriptionss]] to the point of requiring books explaining them]] for Jesus was 'the white Thor.' Given that Thor was the God of Fighting and Surviving[[hottip:Odin was more of the God of Dying Horribly in Battle]]...

* One maker of [=~Let' Play~=] videos is named Kung Fu Jesus.

the [[Marvel comics]] carcter wundarr is basically jesus from space