History Main / IdTellYouButThenIdHaveToKillYou

* ''TabletopGame/{{Paranoia}}'': one suggested variant on "That information is outside your security clearance" is...well, this trope.

* In the HammerHorror film ''These Are The Damned'' (1963), government scientist Bernard gives his mistress Freya the quote below. [[spoiler:He's not lying either, as he kills Freya at the end of the movie after explaining the project he's working on.]]

* In the HammerHorror film ''These Are The Damned'' (1963), government scientist Bernard tells his mistress Freya. [[spoiler:He's not lying either, as he kills Freya at the end of the movie after explaining the project he's working on.]]

!!Examples

-->'''Alan:''' What happened to [[{{MI5}} MIs 1, 2, 3 and 4]]?\\

* ''[[Literature/TheQuestForKarla The Honourable Schoolboy]]'' by [[JohnLeCarre John Le Carré]] - Ricardo explains his monologuing problem to Jerry: "You confuse me, Voltaire. If I tell you too much, I have to shoot you. I'm a very talkative person, you follow me? I get lonely up here, it is my disposition always to be lonely. I like a guy, I talk to him, then I regret myself. I remember my business commitments, follow me?"

* "Were I to tell you matters pertaining to the internal politics of the [[{{Dragaera}} House of the Dragon]] I should only weary you. And I would then have to kill you for knowing. So my thought was not to trouble you with such information."

** Subverted when Agatha [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20160523#.V0Lvur6wjow asks]] how the Smoke Knights do their StealthHiBye stuff:

(''Damar's lady friend calmly walks out'')\\
'''Weyoun:''' (''somewhat snarkily'') What a pleasant woman.

* In the "Implosion" episode of ''{{Warehouse 13}}'':

'''Artie:''' I'd tell you, but then he'd have to kill you (''pointing at Mrs. Frederick's bodyguard, who has come to pick Artie up'')

* In ''Series/{{Merlin}}'', Merlin tries to [[LampshadeHanging lampshade]] this by saying "Right, 'cause if you do you'll have to kill me I suppose," but Arthur responds with "Immediately and without hesitation."

* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer:'' from the episode ''Inca Mummy Girl:''
-->'''Xander:''' [On why the life sucking mummy won't tell him why she's crying]: Hey, I know why you can't tell me. It's a secret, right? And if you told me, you'd have to kill me.
-->'''Ampata:''' [cries louder]
-->'''Xander:''' Oh! That was a bad joke, and the delivery was off, too. I’m sorry.
* ''Series/{{Spaced}}'' goes for the 'modern comedy subversion' option:
-->'''Daisy:''' Actually, what is your job, Mike?
-->'''Mike:''' (Sincerely) If I told you that I'd have to kill you.
-->'''Daisy:''' What, is is a secret?
-->'''Mike:''' No.

[[folder: Radio]]

** [[XMeetsY Combined]] this with "TheEasyWayOrTheHardWay" [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070115 here,]] when Master Payne gives two Wulfenbach troopers the choice of his being a good magician (who doesn't reveal how a trick is done) or an evil one (who doesn't leave any evidence there was a trick in the first place).

--->'''Smoke Knight''': If we told you, we'd have to let you live.\\
'''Agatha''': What?\\
'''Smoke Knight''': For a very, very long time.\\
'''Agatha''': Er, right.
* [[http://www.bugcomic.com/comics/seduced-by-mister-e/ Mocked]] by ''Webcomic/{{Bug|Martini}}''.

* From TheLastDaysOfFoxhound:
-->'''Naomi:''' It's not that I have a problem with it. But why do they want that?
-->'''Ocelot:''' Welcome to Ocelot Shack. You've got questions, [[ImpliedDeathThreat we've got bullets]].

* [[WebVideo/BumReviews Chester A. Bum]] admits that he's Super-Bum. He then says that since he's told you, he'll have to kill you.
** Good news is he's just joking- he actually makes the viewer impotent.

* Referenced in ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible''. A soldier working on a top secret project blurts out "Neutronalizer" during Wade's briefing. Mr. Dr. Possible asks "This isn't one of those, 'I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you' sort of things is it?' The soldier pauses awkwardly and tells everyone to just forget what they heard.
* In "Big Boogey Adventure", the movie for ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'', Billy asks his future self what he is going to have for lunch on Thursday. His future self replies with the trope name.

* In AmericasGotTalent, after the amazing [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhqH5kxNIXM presentation]] by quick change artists David and Dania, BrandyNorwood asks David "How do you do that?", to which an exhausted David replies: "We could tell you, and then we'd have to make you disappear".

''You now know too much about this trope. *BANG*''

[[quoteright:187:[[Webcomic/{{XKCD}} http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/xkcd_707_edit.png]]]]
%%[[caption-width-right:187:future editors can add a caption here if you want to]]

* Seen in ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'' where one character asks another what he's up to and receives the reply [[http://xkcd.com/707/ "If I told you, I'd have to kill you. I mean, sooner."]]

** Subverted when Agatha [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20160523#.V0Lvur6wjow asks]] how the Smoke Knights do their StealthHighBye stuff:

* Played with in one episode of ''{{CSI NY}}''. During the ColdOpen Adam is talking to a girl via webcam, using some fictional form of ChatRoulette. He asks her something - can't remember quite what - and she responds with this phrase...at which point [[spoiler: the murderer sneaks up behind her and kills ''her'' right in front of Adam, kicking off the MysteryOfTheWeek.]]

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4279293/3/Bleeding-Clown Bleeding Clown]]'' Harry and Snape communicate via two-way journal over the summer. Harry asks where Snape stays when he's not at Hogwarts and the reply is "In one of the Snape family manors, a highly unplottable location. If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

* In ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim'', when the player character joins the Dark Brotherhood and gains access to their sanctuary, many members are often conversing on their latest assassination contracts. One particular line of dialogue is Nazir saying, "It's all thanks to a special technique I developed. I call it the "Razor-Winged Butterfly." I'd teach it to you... but then I'd have to kill you."

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* ''TabletopGame/{{Paranoia}}'': one suggested variant on "That information is outside your security clearance" is...well, this trope.

* Japanese speakers don't have this StockPhrase, but people like [[Anime/MobileSuitGundamWing Heero Yuy]] skip straight to "''omae wo korosu''" (literally "I will kill you") when people like Relena Dorlian find out too much.