History Main / IceCreamKoan

* Ty Webb from ''[[Film/Caddyshack]]'' is fond of these:-

--> '''Ty''': The shortest distance between two points is a straight line in the complete and opposite direction.

* Ty Webb from ''Film/Caddyshack'' is fond of these:-

--> '''Ty''': The shortest distance between two points is a straight line in the complete and opposite direction.

Compare MistakenForProfound, FauxlosophicNarration, SeeminglyProfoundFool, WhenIsPurple, {{Metaphorgotten}}, MindScrew. Compare ''and'' contrast ShaggyFrogStory. Contrast ProverbialWisdom. For when the words are meant to make sense, see MeaninglessMeaningfulWords. Related to TrueArtIsIncomprehensible. Has nothing to do with actual Ice Cream, ''Franchise/SailorMoon'' Character or [[Anime/ShatteredAngels the absolute angel]]. Might be confused with the famous Confucian sayings (which are also Chinese, but not Buddhist), which tend to be recited in YouNoTakeCandle English.

-->'''Trapp:''' ... It's called "antimetabole." He mirrored his phrase, switching two words around in order to sound smart.
-->'''Brennan:''' Come on!
-->'''Trapp:''' No, it's true, you can do it with anything. Listen to this: "If you want love to be a part of your life, you must first make life a part of your love."
-->'''Grant:''' ...''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint THAT IS SO WISE!]]''
-->'''Katie:''' Oh my god, I ''love it!'' I love it so much and I don't even understand it!
-->'''Brennan:''' ''(typing on his phone)'' "Make life a part of..."

* WebVideo/PossumReviews discusses this trope in his review of Film/DragonballEvolution, where he mocks Grandpa Gohan's "advice" towards Goku, including the line "You must have faith in who you are."

--> It's like listening to a mirror!
--> That joke's not as funny as it isn't.
--> Don't eat with your mouth full.
--> Everything bad has a... you know, has a good.
--> Cool your horses!

-->To be is to do -- Socrates.
-->To do is to be -- Sartre.
-->[[WaxingLyrical Do Be Do Be Do]] -- [[Music/FrankSinatra Sinatra]].

* Fortune cookies tend to devolve into these whenever they’re not purposefully vague statements (or, at times, ''especially'' when). Example: “Because of your melodic nature, the moonlight never misses an appointment.”

--> A cocky novice once said to Stallman: "I can guess why the editor is called Emacs, but why is the justifier called Bolio?".
--> Stallman replied forcefully, "Names are but names, `Emac & Bolio's` is the name of a confectionery shop in Boston-town. Neither of these men had anything to do with the software."
--> His question answered, yet unanswered, the novice turned to go, but Stallman called to him, "Neither Emac or Bolio had anything to do with the ice cream, either."
--> [[spoiler: Emack and Bolio were two homeless men. The store's founders needed a name, and asked them to be store mascots in exchange for regularly receiving free cones. The program 'emacs' is short for 'editing macros', and 'emacs and bolio' is a Spoonerism from the ice cream shop, which was not far from the AI lab where Stallman worked.]]

* Wiki/{{Uncyclopedia}} offers [[https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Zen#Koans this one:]]

->''"Any sufficiently advanced riddle is indistinguishable from gibberish."''

* ''Series/KeyAndPeele'': Parodied in the "MagicalNegro Fight" sketch, with Peele's magical negro character being an AlmightyJanitor who empties the trash can of the stressed white businessman protagonist while telling him: "You know, I find the more garbage in the can, the better it feels to dump it all out! I suppose that's why we let it get so full in the first place... so we can start over!" before Key's magical negro character arrives to fix a printer and giving his own advice to the white man: "Sometimes things aren't really broken... it's the way we treat 'em that needs to be fixed!" After the two have destroyed each other at the end of a magical fight, trashing the whole office, a black woman cleaner enters and observes the chaos:

'''Black Cleaner:''' ...Who you callin' "Negro", [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!?

-->'''Black Cleaner''': Good Lord! Are you all right? ''[the white protagonist nods]'' Well, I guess sometimes things have to come apart, before we can put them back together again!\\
'''White Protagonist''': Oh, you're a Magical Negro too?\\
'''Black Cleaner''': ...Who you callin' "Negro", [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!?

** In the episode "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS30E2TheFiresOfPompeii The Fires of Pompeii]]", the Doctor and a soothsayer trade these. [[spoiler:When it turns out that he ''does'' have the ability to see the future and knows ''exactly'' who the Doctor is, it's quite the OhCrap moment.]] Notably, the last expression, with which the Doctor "wins" the exchange, is "I concede that every sun must set, yet the son of the father must also rise," which, in addition to being meaningless, also relies on a pun (son/sun) that doesn't work in Latin, the language they were supposedly speaking at the time. It would [[FridgeBrilliance explain why]] the soothsayer gave up at that point, actually; from his perspective it was random gibberish.

--->''"Good news wears no clothes."''\\
"When the road before you splits in two, take the third path."

* Half of the things that [[CloudCuckoolander Gary Busey]] says on ''Series/WorldsDumbest'' fall under this, usually with the rest of the cast [[FunnyBackgroundEvent making faces behind his back]].

* In the PilotMovie for ''Series/KungFuTheLegendContinues'' when Peter quotes his father back to him.
-->'''Peter:''' "Ah yes. Darkness shall overcome the light," as you would say. "But splinters of black will easily be crushed. The illumination of one candle shall forever touch mankind's luminous spirit."
-->'''Kwai Chang:''' I never said anything like that. Means absolutely nothing.
-->'''Peter:''' I know. Sounded great though, didn't it?
* Sally on ''Series/TheDickVanDykeShow'' frequently quotes her Aunt Agnes, much to the confusion of her fellow writers, and herself.
-->'''Sally:''' "Every time I think of those words, I want to cry..."
-->'''Buddy:''' "How come?"
-->'''Sally:''' "Because I think my Aunt Agnes is a nut!"

* [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] in an episode of ''Series/PowerRangersJungleFury'' by [[EccentricMentor R.J.]] who delivers one to [[BigBad Dai Shi]] after a fight, [[{{Troll}} just to mess with him.]]
-->'''Dai Shi:''' Consider this a draw, but hear me Wolf Master: tomorrow is another day!
-->'''R.J.:''' And tomorrow, today will be yesterday!
-->'''Dai Shi:''' ...[[WeWillMeetAgain We will meet again.]] ''[[VillainExitStageLeft (Teleports away)]]''
-->'''R.J.:''' ''(To his father)'' [[LampshadeHanging "I always like to leave my enemies with a confusing thought.]]

--> "Add a dab of lavender to your milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

-->Some people have made the mistake of seeing Shunt's work as a load of rubbish about railway timetables, but clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants see this as a deliberate ambiguity, a plea for understanding in a mechanized world. The points are frozen, the beast is dead. What is the difference? What indeed is the point? The point is frozen, the beast is late out of Paddington, the point is taken. If La Fontaine's elk would spurn Tom Jones, the engine must be our head, the dining car our oesophagus, the guard's van our left lung, the cattle car our shins, the first class compartment a piece of skin at the nape of the neck, and the level crossing an electric elk called Simon. The clarity is devastating. But where is the ambiguity? It's over there in a box. Shunt is saying the 8.15 from Gillingham when in reality he means the 8.''13'' from Gillingham. The train is the same, only the time is altered. Ecce homo, ergo elk. La Fontaine knew his sister and knew her bloody well. The point is taken, the beast is moulting, the fluff gets up your nose. The illusion is complete; it is reality, the reality is illusion and the ambiguity is the only truth. But is the truth, as Hitchcock observes, in the box? No, there isn't room; the ambiguity has put on weight. The point is taken, the elk is dead, the beast stops at Swindon, Chabrol stops at nothing, I'm having treatment and La Fontaine can get knotted.

** G'Kar did a few when his followers failed to grasp his point, just to shut them up:

'''G'Kar:''' [long explanation]\\

'''G'Kar:''' [sighs] Truth is... ''[throws up his hands in exasperation]'' a river.\\

** This was also a bad habit of Byron's, sharing space with blackmail, arrogance, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking having a really bad haircut]].
** While Kosh delivered many a genuine {{Koan}} in the course of the series, in "Deathwalker" he proceeded to engage in a cryptic conversation with a character named Abbut which consisted mostly of these. It counts as this trope because [[spoiler:the real purpose of the conversation was to get a mental scan of Talia, ostensibly there as a telepathic mediator, to stimulate and preserve her feelings of reflection, surprise and terror. If her character hadn't left the show, this would have been used as insurace after "Divided Loyalties"]].

-->'''Black Cleaner''': Good Lord! Are you all right? ''[The white protagonist nods]'' Well, I guess sometimes things have to come apart, before we can put them back together again!\\

'''Black Cleaner''': ... Who you callin' "Negro", [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!?

* In the ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode "The Fires of Pompeii", the Doctor and a soothsayer trade these.
-->'''Lucius:''' A name is but a cloud upon a summer wind!\\

** It went on like that. [[spoiler: So when it turns out he ''does'' have the ability to see the future and knows ''exactly'' who the Doctor is, it's quite the OhCrap moment.]]
** Notably, the last expression, with which the Doctor "wins" the exchange, is "I concede that every sun must set, yet the son of the father must also rise," which, in addition to being meaningless, also relies on a pun (son/sun) that doesn't work in Latin, the language they were supposedly speaking at the time. It would [[FridgeBrilliance explain why]] the soothsayer gave up at that point, actually; from his perspective it was random gibberish.
** The Seventh Doctor was known to get human expressions mixed up from time to time, with one resulting in a koan: "Time and tide melts the snowman."

-->'''Father Jim''': When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade. When I ask someone for a glass of water and they give me a glass of sand, I turn it over, make a sand castle and then pretend I'm the king. If somebody throws a rock at my head, I pretend that the bruise is a faded tattoo, and that I was once a sailor and ran a sweatshop in Singapore . . . I'm not too proud of that time in my imaginary life.
* ''Series/GetSmart''. Max tries to come up with a pearl of wisdom at the end of an episode, with expected results.

'''99:''' (''waiting'') Yes?\\

* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'': In [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS01E18DramatisPersonae "Dramatis Personae"]], the HatePlague that infects the senior staff and starts altering their personalities causes Dax to come up with this gem.

'''Kira:''' [{{beat}}] [[BlatantLies I understand.]]
* ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''. Many of Neelix's "Talaxian sayings" are these:
-->"Good news wears no clothes."\\

** A flashback scene revealed how [[TheStoic Tuvok]] was a FormerTeenRebel against the Vulcan philosophy of strict emotional control.

** Inverted in "Parturition".

'''Kim:''' [[BoringButPractical If it works, use it.]]

* ''Series/{{Loki|2021}}'': A drunk Loki gives a long comparison of love to a dagger, which Sylvie mocks as not making any sense:

--> '''Sphinx:''' If you do not master your rage...\\

-->'''Xenk''': You may have forsworn your oath, but your oath has not forsworn you.

-->'''Edgin''': Really, Xenk? Is that what you find?

* Most of the "Creator/{{Confucius}} Say" jokes utilize a combination of this, {{Incredibly Lame Pun}}s and LiteralMinded, such as "Man who farts in church sits in his own pew". They also double as ConfucianConfusion.

* A message in a hot springs resort in ''LightNovel/{{Slayers}}'' says:

** Apparently, Red Priest Rezo from ''LightNovel/{{Slayers}}'' knew a lot of those, judging by how he baffles the Slayers with crazy-sounding wisdom when they find his SoulJar.

* In ''LightNovel/{{Baccano}}'', [[spoiler:Ronnie]] responds to Ennis's questions about his apparent omniscience (caused by being, well, literally omniscient) with a rambling existential monologue that seems profound and mysterious at first glance, but was really just to confuse her into dropping the subject.

** Iroh is fond of proverbs, same of which wind up being more confusing than helpful. He outright lampshades this tendency in the episode "The Waterbending Scroll" while Zuko is fighting a pirate: during the fight, Iroh calls out "Are you so busy fighting that you cannot see your own ship set sail?" to which Zuko replies that it isn't the time for proverbs. Iroh points out the pirates' ship has been hijacked and ''really is'' leaving without them, after which the pirates make off with his and Zuko's ship. Iroh muses that "maybe it should be a proverb..."

* ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'':

* From ''Radio/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'':

* ''Videogame/DarkestDungeon'': [[WarriorPoet The Leper]] is usually a fan of regular koans and other sayings, whose meaning you ''can'' discern with a little thought even if they can be a little complicated. When he loses his mind and goes [[CloudCuckoolander Irrational]], however, his sayings, spouted with the same conviction and erudite tone, stop making any sense whatsoever and just sound ridiculous.

* In the Franchise/DanganRonpa series, [[MascotVillain Monokuma]] is full of these; particularly during the transition from night to morning with skits called "Monokuma Theater" where Monokuma continually spouts out his words of wisdom which all comes out as confusing nonsense.

[[folder:Web Comics]]

* Odin in ''WebComic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', being a [[DownplayedTrope slightly]] MadGod, spouts some of these. Sometimes you have to wonder whether they've actually got a point, though.

* Music/TheBeatles' "I Am The Walrus" starts off with this ("I am he as you are he and you are me and we are all together") and is chockfull of these. Its spoof by Music/TheRutles, "Piggy In The Middle," effects this as well. At the end of recording "I Am the Walrus", Music/JohnLennon is reputed to have said "Let's see the buggers work that one out"; as the song was at least partially intended as a TakeThat to the fans who constantly looked for hidden meanings in other Beatles songs.[[note]] It didn't work; "I Am the Walrus" was just as heavily overanalysed, leading an even more fed up John to write "Glass Onion" and claim "The walrus was Paul."[[/note]]

* ''Series/KeyAndPeele'' Parodied in the "MagicalNegro Fight" sketch, with Peele's magical negro character being an AlmightyJanitor who empties the trash can of the stressed white businessman protagonist while telling him: "You know, I find the more garbage in the can, the better it feels to dump it all out! I suppose that's why we let it get so full in the first place... so we can start over!" before Key's magical negro character arrives to fix a printer and giving his own advice to the white man: "Sometimes things aren't really broken... it's the way we treat 'em that needs to be fixed!" After the two have destroyed each other at the end of a magical fight, trashing the whole office, a black woman cleaner enters and observes the chaos:

* ''Series/KeyAndPeele'' Parodied in the "MagicalNegro Fight" sketch, with Peele's magical negro character being an AlmightyJanitor who empties the trash can of the stressed white businessman protagonist while telling him "''You know, I find the more garbage in the can, the better it feels to dump it all out! I suppose that's why we let it get so full in the first place... so we can start over!''" before Key's magical negro character arrives to fix a printer and giving his own advice to the white man: "''Sometimes things aren't really broken... it's the way we treat 'em that needs to be fixed!''" After the two have destroyed each other at the end of a magical fight, trashing the whole office, a black woman cleaner enters and observes the chaos:

** During the '60s and '70s, the writers were faced with the problem of portraying hippies in a way that did not take a stand on any of the day's important issues -- they did not support hippies but did not want to alienate readers who did. Hippies were thus depicted as carrying signs with slogans that really meant nothing, such as "[[CriticalResearchFailure Stamp Out Togetherness]]".

* The sign-off phrase of ''Radio/ImSorryIHaventAClue'' is always a variation of this concerning [[MeaninglessMeaningfulWords Time, Eternity, Fate and Destiny]]. [[Wiki/{{Wikipedia}} The Other Wiki]] gives us:

* ''Series/Maverick'' is fond of this trope. The leads, brothers Bret and Bart Maverick, often quote words of wisdom from their "Pappy". Many of them are actually these.

* Wiki/RationalWiki describes Ice Cream Koans as "[[https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Deepity Deepity]]", named after a phrase Daniel Dennett heard a teenage girl use to describe one. They define it as "a statement that is apparently profound but actually asserts a triviality on one level and something meaningless on the other." They usually use the term to criticize the snippy slogans used by [[TheFundamentalist fundamentalists]] and [[SnakeOilSalesman woo-pushers]].

* Neuroscientist and philosopher Daniel Dennett has used the term "Deepity" to describe a "seemingly profound statement" that has two levels of meanings, one that is trivially true and another one that sounds profound but is actually a meaningless statement. Allegedly it was coined by the teenage daughter of one of his friends. Wiki/RationalWiki uses this term for things like this. One example the wiki gives is the old advice "There is no 'I' in 'team'": there is no letter "i" in "team" and "you need to put aside your 'selfish' feeling for the good of the team" but never gives any reason as to ''why'' other than "you're a part of the team, so just go along with it". They even link to this trope.

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSecretOfNIMH'' the back of the amulet Nicodemus gives Mrs. Brisby has a proverb that reads "You can unlock any door, if you only have the key".

* In ''Film/TheSecretOfNIMH'' the back of the amulet Nicodemus gives Mrs. Brisby has a proverb that reads "You can unlock any door, if you only have the key".