History Main / EvilLawyerJoke

7th Jul '16 10:31:26 AM Morgenthaler
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* The spoof movie ''The Silence Of The Hams'' had a gag in the part parodying ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs'' where the protagonist is walking through the prison of mentally insane criminals--he walks past a bunch of maniacal, howling lawyers standing in a pit, with a warning sign reading "Don't feed the lawyers".

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* The spoof movie ''The Silence Of The Hams'' ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheHams'' had a gag in the part parodying ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs'' where the protagonist is walking through the prison of mentally insane criminals--he walks past a bunch of maniacal, howling lawyers standing in a pit, with a warning sign reading "Don't feed the lawyers".
6th Jul '16 1:10:25 PM ImperialMajestyXO
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* In the Universe of Fanfic/PokemonResetBloodlines, Lawyers are one of the five mortal enemies of Ninjas.

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* In the Universe of Fanfic/PokemonResetBloodlines, ''Fanfic/PokemonResetBloodlines'', Lawyers are one of the five mortal enemies of Ninjas.



-->'''Jake:''' You said it, not me.

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-->'''Jake:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You said it, not me.me]].
4th Jul '16 5:45:17 PM FGHIK
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* In ''Film/IndependenceDay'', when Marty Gilbert finds out the aliens are about to attack, he quickly worries about who he needs to warn.

-->'''Marty Gilbert''': A countdown... wait, a countdown to what David?
-->'''David Levinson''': [[ChessMotifs It's like in chess:]] First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right you strike. They're using this signal to syncronize their efforts and in 5 hours the countdown will be over.
-->'''Marty''': And then what?
-->'''David''': ''Checkmate''.
-->'''Marty''': [[OhCrap Oh, my God.]] I gotta call my brother, my housekeeper, my lawyer. Nah, forget my lawyer
30th Jun '16 1:47:03 AM SilverDragon
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** Apollo Justice has a go at himself with these occasionally..

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** Apollo Justice has a go at himself with these occasionally..occasionally.
29th Jun '16 2:52:55 PM Viira
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* [[Franchise/AceAttorney Phoenix Wright's]] protegé, Apollo Justice, has a go at himself with these occasionally..

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* [[Franchise/AceAttorney Phoenix Wright's]] protegé, The ''Franchise/AceAttorney'' series as a whole likes to use these kind of jokes. Considering the basic nature of the series's concept (hero lawyers, fighting for justice), they're mainly used ironically. Most of the time they're self-deprecating humor from the lawyers themselves.
**
Apollo Justice, Justice has a go at himself with these occasionally..



** The series as a whole likes to use these kind of jokes. Considering the basic nature of the series's concept (hero lawyers, fighting for justice), they're mainly used ironically. Most of the time they're self-deprecating humor from the lawyers themselves.
** In ''[[PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies Dual Destinies]]'', one of the witnesses calls Apollo a no good shyster.

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** The series as a whole likes to use these kind of jokes. Considering the basic nature of the series's concept (hero lawyers, fighting for justice), they're mainly used ironically. Most of the time they're self-deprecating humor from the lawyers themselves.
** In ''[[PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies ''[[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies Dual Destinies]]'', one of the witnesses calls Apollo a no good shyster.
25th Jun '16 2:13:43 AM Kakai
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* ''Literature/DoraWilkSeries'': When vampire Antoni glamours his lawyers, exasperated with the amount of trouble he has with them, Dora is full of understanding.
-->'''Dora''': In a room with a lawyer, a notary, a tax collector and a vampire, the vampire is hardly the most bloodthirsty one.
24th Jun '16 7:06:56 PM KrspaceT
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* In the Universe of Fanfic/PokemonResetBloodlines, Lawyers are one of the five mortal enemies of Ninjas.
23rd Jun '16 11:33:39 AM Ebrbfureh
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* The spoof movie ''The Silence Of The Hams'' had a gag in the part parodying ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs'' where the protagonist is walking through the prison of mentally insane criminals -- he walks past a bunch of maniacal, howling lawyers standing in a pit, with a warning sign reading "Don't feed the lawyers".

to:

* The spoof movie ''The Silence Of The Hams'' had a gag in the part parodying ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs'' where the protagonist is walking through the prison of mentally insane criminals -- he criminals--he walks past a bunch of maniacal, howling lawyers standing in a pit, with a warning sign reading "Don't feed the lawyers".



* This quote from ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows Deathly Hallows]]'' -- and WordOfGod points out that, ironically, [[spoiler:Hermione became the magical equivalent of a lawyer and used her position to improve the lot of [[FantasticRacism House-elves, Muggles and Muggle-Borns]]]].

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* This quote from ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows Deathly Hallows]]'' -- and Hallows]]''--and WordOfGod points out that, ironically, [[spoiler:Hermione became the magical equivalent of a lawyer and used her position to improve the lot of [[FantasticRacism House-elves, Muggles and Muggle-Borns]]]].



* The ''{{TabletopGame/Munchkin}}'' Card Game has several lawyer monsters, including So Suu Mee -- the Chinese lawyer demon.

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* The ''{{TabletopGame/Munchkin}}'' Card Game has several lawyer monsters, including So Suu Mee -- the Mee--the Chinese lawyer demon.



* In the ''Webcomic/KevinAndKell'' universe, most -- if not all -- lawyers are, in fact, sharks, leading to frequent jokes... for example, when Herd Thinners Inc. is flooded (due to drooling resulting from having an injured rabbit on the premises), Angelique comments that it's not a total loss -- now their legal staff can work on-site.

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* In the ''Webcomic/KevinAndKell'' universe, most -- if most--if not all -- lawyers all--lawyers are, in fact, sharks, leading to frequent jokes... for example, when Herd Thinners Inc. is flooded (due to drooling resulting from having an injured rabbit on the premises), Angelique comments that it's not a total loss -- now loss--now their legal staff can work on-site.



* Used in ''Webcomic/AHDotComTheSeries'', "Heart of Steel", in a flashback -- upon hearing that the new crewmember is a lawyer, the two American crewmembers are reflexively thrown into a psychotic rage.

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* Used in ''Webcomic/AHDotComTheSeries'', "Heart of Steel", in a flashback -- upon flashback--upon hearing that the new crewmember is a lawyer, the two American crewmembers are reflexively thrown into a psychotic rage.



* ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'' -- Helen (an attorney) is often in the background talking to her boss about cases. At one point she says something to the effect of "No, no, absolutely not! It's unethical, it's immoral, it may well be illegal. I'll have no part of it. ''[pause]'' Okay, I'll do it."

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* ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'' -- Helen ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}''--Helen (an attorney) is often in the background talking to her boss about cases. At one point she says something to the effect of "No, no, absolutely not! It's unethical, it's immoral, it may well be illegal. I'll have no part of it. ''[pause]'' Okay, I'll do it."



* In a ''WesternAnimation/{{Wunschpunsch}}'' episode where the [[MonsterOfTheWeek Curse Of The Week]] turns all people into animals, the heroes need to put them all on one ship to reverse it. They initially fail as the curse won't stop working -- apparently someone is missing -- until the ship starts sinking and a pair of sharks swim in -- three guesses who those two people were.

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* In a ''WesternAnimation/{{Wunschpunsch}}'' episode where the [[MonsterOfTheWeek Curse Of The Week]] turns all people into animals, the heroes need to put them all on one ship to reverse it. They initially fail as the curse won't stop working -- apparently working--apparently someone is missing -- until missing--until the ship starts sinking and a pair of sharks swim in -- three in--three guesses who those two people were.



* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' has this exchange. Note that the lawyer in question was the only person who fought for Zoidberg and believed he didn't do anything wrong when he ate an Earth flag on Freedom Day -- even the ''president of the ACLU'' thought Zoidberg should have been executed.

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* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' has this exchange. Note that the lawyer in question was the only person who fought for Zoidberg and believed he didn't do anything wrong when he ate an Earth flag on Freedom Day -- even Day--even the ''president of the ACLU'' thought Zoidberg should have been executed.



* A prominent firm of libel lawyers in Great Britain who are renowned for their tenacity in pursuing cases -- and fees -- are called Carter-Ruck. ''PrivateEye'', a magazine often stung by them, renamed them ''Carter-Fuck''. The alternative title has taken off, much to their annoyance.

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* A prominent firm of libel lawyers in Great Britain who are renowned for their tenacity in pursuing cases -- and fees -- are cases--and fees--are called Carter-Ruck. ''PrivateEye'', a magazine often stung by them, renamed them ''Carter-Fuck''. The alternative title has taken off, much to their annoyance.
4th Jun '16 1:52:09 PM Prfnoff
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* ''Literature/TheNewAmericanDictionary'' defines a lawyer as "a paid criminal".I

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* ''Literature/TheNewAmericanDictionary'' defines a lawyer as "a paid criminal".I



* ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'': Harry gets a decent amount of mileage out of the fact that the resident GoodShepherd Father Forthill not only passed the bar exam before discerning his vocation to the priesthood, but still occasionally helps his parishioners with their legal reoubles.

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* ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'': Harry gets a decent amount of mileage out of the fact that the resident GoodShepherd Father Forthill not only passed the bar exam before discerning his vocation to the priesthood, but still occasionally helps his parishioners with their legal reoubles.troubles.
* In ''No Way to Treat a First Lady'' by Creator/ChristopherBuckley, the LongList of despicable types successfully defended by [[AmoralAttorney Boyce "Shameless" Baylor]] concludes with "even fellow lawyers."



* In ''Dinosaurs,'' when Earl is about to sell his soul:

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* In ''Dinosaurs,'' ''Series/{{Dinosaurs}}'', when Earl is about to sell his soul:
27th May '16 6:14:19 AM TheAmazingBlachman
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* In ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'', when the PlayerCharacter, Manny, is trying convince slimy lawyer Nick Virago to help spring his friend from prison, he wants Manny stroke his ego by asking if you want a good lawyer or the best. One of the player's reply options is "Well, logically, the best lawyer would be a dead one", which causes him to caustically point out that that definition includes every single attorney in the land of the dead.

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* In ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'', when the PlayerCharacter, Manny, is trying convince slimy lawyer Nick Virago to help spring his friend from prison, he wants Manny stroke his ego by asking if you want a good lawyer or the best. One of the player's reply options is "Well, logically, the best lawyer would be a dead one", which causes him to caustically point out that that definition includes every single attorney in the land Land of the dead.Dead.
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