History Main / EvilLawyerJoke

6th Mar '17 9:05:13 PM ryanasaurus0077
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* If you consider that umpires, for all intents and purposes, function more or less as baseball's lawyers in game-related matters:
-->One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling, the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."\\
"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."
22nd Feb '17 5:37:17 PM Kadorhal
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--> '''Athena''': I heard the Judge actually held an exorcism in his courtroom after that.
--> '''Apollo''': Good. Hopefully that's the last we'll see of that pain-in-the-neck yokai.
--> '''Athena''': I don't know...I think Temna Taro could exorcise an exorcist.
--> '''Apollo''': As an attorney defending a demon, I know exactly how that feels.
* In ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'', when the PlayerCharacter, Manny, is trying convince slimy lawyer Nick Virago to help spring his friend from prison, he wants Manny stroke his ego by asking if you want a good lawyer or the best. One of the player's reply options is "Well, logically, the best lawyer would be a dead one", which causes him to caustically point out that that definition includes every single attorney in the Land of the Dead.

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--> '''Athena''': -->'''Athena''': I heard the Judge actually held an exorcism in his courtroom after that.
-->
that.\\
'''Apollo''': Good. Hopefully that's the last we'll see of that pain-in-the-neck yokai.
-->
yokai.\\
'''Athena''': I don't know...I think Temna Taro could exorcise an exorcist.
-->
exorcist.\\
'''Apollo''': As an attorney defending a demon, I know exactly how that feels.
* In ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'', when the PlayerCharacter, Manny, is trying convince slimy lawyer Nick Virago to help spring his friend from prison, he wants Manny to stroke his ego by asking if you want a good lawyer or the best. One of the player's reply options is "Well, logically, the best lawyer would be a dead one", which causes him to caustically point out that that definition includes every single attorney in the Land of the Dead.


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* ''VideoGame/UnrealTournament'' makes note of this in the description for one of the opponents in the singleplayer Deathmatch ladder, claiming that economists are one of the few things close to being as bad as a lawyer, and that the audience for the tournament will pay big bucks to see such "scum" get blown to pieces repeatedly.
24th Jan '17 10:11:27 PM dmcreif
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* A lawyer was once running late for a meeting, and when he got in the Judge said "Speak of the devil..." The lawyer [[DeadpanSnarker replied]] "I believe you are confusing me with my employer."

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* A lawyer was once running late for a meeting, and when he got in the Judge said "Speak of the devil..."SpeakOfTheDevil..." The lawyer [[DeadpanSnarker replied]] "I believe you are confusing me with my employer."
24th Jan '17 7:01:38 PM SuperJedi224
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* One Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic strip contains this bit of dialogue:

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* One Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic'' strip contains this bit of dialogue:
24th Jan '17 7:00:49 PM SuperJedi224
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* One Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic strip contains this bit of dialogue:
-->'''[[GrimReaper Head Death]]''': WE MAY BE DEATH, BUT THERE'S WORSE OUT THERE. DO YOU WANT TO GET ''LAWYERS'' INVOLVED?
-->'''[[OddJobGods The Death of Choking on a Giant Frog]]''': Oh... no, sir.
10th Dec '16 9:45:58 PM GhostOfAGeek
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* The final panel of [[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/eddurd/everydayheroes/series.php?view=single&ID=176095 this]] ''Webcomic/EverydayHeroes'' is an extended evil lawyer joke, half of which is [[SelfDeprecation spoken by a lawyer]].

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* The final panel of [[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/eddurd/everydayheroes/series.php?view=single&ID=176095 [[http://eheroes.smackjeeves.com/comics/2111623/talking-sensibly/ this]] ''Webcomic/EverydayHeroes'' is an extended evil lawyer joke, half of which is [[SelfDeprecation spoken by a lawyer]].



* ''Webcomic/{{Narbonic}}'': After [[spoiler:Mell]] falls from heavens: [[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/shaenongarrity/narbonic_plus/series.php?view=archive&chapter=51462&name=narbonic_plus "Holy cheese, do they need lawyers up there!"]]

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* ''Webcomic/{{Narbonic}}'': After [[spoiler:Mell]] falls from heavens: [[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/shaenongarrity/narbonic_plus/series.php?view=archive&chapter=51462&name=narbonic_plus [[http://narbonic.com/comic/january-2-7-2006/ "Holy cheese, do they need lawyers up there!"]]
30th Nov '16 2:58:31 PM Mooncalf
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** In ''Magazine/{{Mad}}'''s spoof of the movie, they actually appended "How does that work?" "Much, much better!" to the exchange. Subtle.
30th Nov '16 2:02:41 PM GrammarNavi
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* In ''{{Peanuts}}'', Snoopy often fantasizes about being an attorney, and he tends to get these a lot, mostly from Lucy. It's lampshaded once, after he appears to have lost a case (where he represented Peter Rabbit who was suing Mr. McGregor) and he gets upset at Woodstock. ("No, I do NOT want to hear a funny attorney joke!" he snaps.)

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* In ''{{Peanuts}}'', Snoopy often fantasizes about being an attorney, and he tends to get these a lot, mostly from Lucy. It's lampshaded once, after he appears to have lost a case (where he represented Peter Rabbit who was suing Mr. McGregor) [=McGregor=]) and he gets upset at Woodstock. ("No, I do NOT want to hear a funny attorney joke!" he snaps.)



* Used frequently regarding Creator/SteveDallas in ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty''. In one of the collections, Breathed remarked about how frequently lawyers would respond positively (often asking to buy a print) to the jokes.
* ''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine'' does this every once in awhile; the cartoonist is Creator/StephenPastis, an ex-lawyer, and is known to delve into these jokes occasionally.

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* Used frequently regarding Creator/SteveDallas Steve Dallas in ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty''. In one of the collections, Breathed remarked about how frequently lawyers would respond positively (often asking to buy a print) to the jokes.
* ''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine'' does this every once in awhile; the cartoonist is Creator/StephenPastis, Creator/StephanPastis, an ex-lawyer, and is known to delve into these jokes occasionally.



--->'''Blake:'''Alright, sounds like a plan. Sounds like we’ve got some disturbing, soulless freaks of nature to summon. [[BaitAndSwitchComparison When we’ve done that, we can take a break and summon some ghosts.”]]

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--->'''Blake:'''Alright, -->'''Blake: '''Alright, sounds like a plan. Sounds like we’ve got some disturbing, soulless freaks of nature to summon. [[BaitAndSwitchComparison When we’ve done that, we can take a break and summon some ghosts.”]]
29th Nov '16 11:11:55 AM dmcreif
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* The French words for lawyer and avocado are essentially the same (avocat). Hilarity ensues when translating French recipes for guacamole into English using computer software--they end up instructing you to do things like "chop up three lawyers and then put them in a blender".

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* The French words word for lawyer and avocado are essentially 'lawyer' in each of the same (avocat). Romance languages is pretty similar to "avocado": avocat (French), avvocato (Italian), abogado (Spanish), etc. Hilarity ensues when translating French recipes for a guacamole recipe in one of these languages into English using computer software--they software--you may end up instructing you being instructed to do things like "chop chop up three lawyers and then put them in a blender".blender.
28th Oct '16 2:00:43 PM JohnnyLurg
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* On one episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Duckman}}'', there is a law firm called Manson, Dahmer, Gacy, and Bundy, all names of serial killers.
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