History Main / EvilLawyerJoke

11th Feb '16 12:37:30 PM Morgenthaler
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* ''Literature/TroyRising'': One morbid joke following the Horvath [[ColonyDrop bombardment]] of Earth is that the Horvath only read one bit of human culture, and that was Shakespeare's ''HenryVI Part 2''. Due to a quirk of demographics, the profession with the heaviest casualties from the bombardment was the American Bar Association (that's what happens when Washington DC and Los Angeles are major targets).
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* ''Literature/TroyRising'': One morbid joke following the Horvath [[ColonyDrop bombardment]] of Earth is that the Horvath only read one bit of human culture, and that was Shakespeare's ''HenryVI Part 2''.''Theatre/HenryVIPart2''. Due to a quirk of demographics, the profession with the heaviest casualties from the bombardment was the American Bar Association (that's what happens when Washington DC and Los Angeles are major targets).

* OlderThanSteam: Creator/WilliamShakespeare's famous "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." He made several other jabs at lawyers in his works, but the line from ''Theatre/HenryVI Part 2'' is the most famous and well known. (Lawyers are quick to point out that's part of [[PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny a plan to create anarchy and tyranny in revolution]].)
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* OlderThanSteam: Creator/WilliamShakespeare's famous "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." He made several other jabs at lawyers in his works, but the line from ''Theatre/HenryVI Part 2'' ''Theatre/HenryVIPart2'' is the most famous and well known. (Lawyers are quick to point out that's part of [[PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny a plan to create anarchy and tyranny in revolution]].)
6th Feb '16 12:42:32 PM Quanyails
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* In [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents Timmy's Secret Wish]], Timmy was brought to Fairy Court on charges of being the worst godkid ever and Foop was the prosecutor. Foop explained that he became a lawyer to be evil enough to defeat Poof.
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* In [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents "[[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents Timmy's Secret Wish]], Wish]]", Timmy was brought to Fairy Court on charges of being the worst godkid ever and Foop was the prosecutor. Foop explained that he became a lawyer to be evil enough to defeat Poof.
6th Feb '16 12:42:05 PM Quanyails
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** And in one of the cases from VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies, one character thinks he's a demon lawyer from hell.
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** And in one of the cases from VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies, ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies'', one character thinks he's a demon lawyer from hell.
30th Dec '15 8:24:39 PM LadyJafaria
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# giving lawyers AnimalMotifs that classify them as evil.
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# giving lawyers AnimalMotifs that classify them as evil. evil (typically a [[SnakesAreEvil snake]] or a [[ThreateningShark shark]])
18th Dec '15 4:33:40 PM Gideoncrawle
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alphabetized folders, italicized work name, removed superfluous markup
[[folder:Fan Works]] * In ''Fanfic/TheLegendOfTotalDramaIsland'', a school of sharks won't harm Courtney out of "professional courtesy" because she plans to be a lawyer when she grows up. * In ''Fanfic/KitsuneNoKenFistOfTheFox'', Orochimaru--who's a lawyer in this story's continuity--complains that he's going to be on the receiving end of these after he manages to get Dosu, Zaku and Kin (members of Mizuki's gang) out on bail. [[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]] * In [[Fanfic/TheLegendOfTotalDramaIsland The Legend of Total Drama Island]], a school of sharks won't harm Courtney out of "professional courtesy" because she plans to be a lawyer when she grows up. * In ''Fanfic/KitsuneNoKenFistOfTheFox'', Orochimaru--who's a lawyer in this story's continuity--complains that he's going to be on the receiving end of these after he manages to get Dosu, Zaku and Kin (members of Mizuki's gang) out on bail. [[/folder]]
10th Dec '15 6:28:16 PM Prfnoff
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Added DiffLines:
* In ''Two on an Island'' by Elmer Rice (who studied law in his early years before quitting to pursue a writing career), the theatrical producer Lawrence Ormont gripes: -->"What is a lawyer? A eunuch who spends the first thirty years of his life training himself to think in terms of five per cent. A parasite who has neither the agility of the flea nor the curiosity of the louse."
1st Dec '15 4:32:24 PM Delphi
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Added DiffLines:
* What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? [[labelnote:Answer]]There are skid marks in front of the snake.[[/labelnote]]

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* In ''Dinosaurs,'' when Earl is about to sell his soul: -->'''Earl:''' Maybe I should have a lawyer look at this...\\ '''Dinosaur Devil:''' I am the KING of lawyers! Just SIGN IT!
26th Oct '15 2:20:42 AM eroock
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->''We're both called Phoenix, but I'm a destroyer of worlds and you're a lawyer. I wonder which one of us is more hated?''
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->''We're ->''"We're both called Phoenix, but I'm a destroyer of worlds and you're a lawyer. I wonder which one of us is more hated?''hated?"''
3rd Sep '15 4:16:28 PM TARINunit9
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* A lawyer was once running late for a meeting, and when he got in the Judge said "Speak of the devil..". The lawyer [[DeadpanSnarker replied]] "I believe you are confusing me with my employer."

* True Story: A lawyer was once running late for a meeting, and when he got in the Judge said "Speak of the devil..". The lawyer [[DeadpanSnarker replied]] "I believe you are confusing me with my employer."
4th Aug '15 2:50:47 PM SilverDragon
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* In the manual of every Legend Entertainment game where was a lawyer joke inserted into the licence agreement. These jokes were almost never repeated from game to game.
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* In the manual of every Legend Entertainment game where there was a lawyer joke inserted into the licence agreement. These jokes were almost never repeated from game to game.
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