History Main / CutHimselfShaving

** One episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman'' had him joking that he CutHimselfShaving to explain a bandage on ''his arm'' (it was actually from a weird chemical Joker injected into him that made him start to act like Joker). His body ''was'' oddly hairless...

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', Snake comes into Dr Nick's surgery with a bleeding stomach. His reasoning: "I like, fell onto a bullet, and it like, drove itself into my gut..." Not missing a beat, the receptionist casually ticks off "liquor store robbery" on her clipboard. Dr. Nick tells him to save the stories for the courts and leads him back to the office.

** When Homer hires the Mafia to help Marge's pretzel business, she delivers some to Skinner who answers his door with a bandaged wrist. She asks what happens and a hidden goon behind him whispers "*mumble mumble* boating accident". Skinner repeats robotically "I believe it was a boaking accident."[[hottip:*: This isn't a typo, Skinner blurts out ''boaking'' ]]
* The first episode of ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' had the subversion. Bobby and Peggy end up with bruises thanks to the non-athletic Bobby throwing around a baseball. A social worker [[AbuseMistake assumes that Hank is physically abusive]] and tries to get Bobby taken away. However, his supervisor calls him out on the fact that he was jumping to conclusions and didn't bother doing any of the actual investigative work involved in abuse cases, which gets the social worker ReassignedToAntarctica.

* In the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' episode "Wasted Talent," Stewie tries to watch television, but is distracted by the [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal poor piano playing]] of one of Lois's students. When Lois leaves the room briefly, Stewie sweeps in and [[OffscreenCrash beats up the student]]. When Lois returns and sees all of the injuries of the piano student, he tells her, at Stewie's prompting, that "I fell?"

*** Yet ''another'' Stewie example -- he, Chris, and Brian are in a car, and Chris was claiming not to be responsible for getting caught with some alcohol at school (it really was a friends). Stewie orders the car pulled over. Cut to him relentlessly spanking a sobbing Chris and demanding, "What do you say if your teachers ask about your bruises?" "I got hit with a baaase-baaall."

* In a rarely-aired episode of ''ILoveLucy'', Lucy gets a black eye accidentally. She jokingly tells Fred and Ethel "Ricky slugged me!" But they believe her. And not her later protestations.

* Very similar to the ILoveLucy example above an episode of TheDickVanDykeShow had the main character toss a book to his wife, Laura, giving her a shiner. The humor of the episode is derived from everyone believing the main character "slugged" his wife rather than believing the more mundane explanation. The episode ends with Laura tossing a book to Rob (Dick Van Dyke) and giving 'him' a black eye. He is mocked relentlessly.

* An episode of DrQuinnMedicineWoman had newcomer Dorothy being examined by Mike, who noticed her many bruises and didn't buy her excuses for any of them. Sure enough, Dorothy eventually admits to being beaten by her husband. A sympathetic Mike reveals that even working with her father in a posh Boston neighborhood, she frequently saw women who had "fallen down the stairs".
* In TheBorgias, Cesare has just murdered [[spoiler: his former brother-in-law, Giovanni Sforza]] by stabbing him through the hand, through the neck and then about ten more times in the torso, and Rodrigo tries to explain that [[spoiler: Giovanni]] had an "accident" where "He fell...on a knife...which... Cesare happened to be holding". His voice trails off as he realises just how completely ridiculous this sounds.

* In a VerySpecialEpisode of ADifferentWorld, Gina's popular boyfriend repeatedly beats her up; she makes excuses like "I got into a fight with this girl" and "I bumped into my desk." When she contradicts herself with one of her excuses, her friends start to get suspicious. Once the news gets out all over school, someone calls the cops when they see him dragging her outside for a "private talk". At the end of the episode, Gina says she's going to file a complaint and he is arrested.

* On an episode of ''Series/{{ER}}'', a policeman's wife comes in badly hurt by her husband. Some of his coworkers are witnesses, but won't speak against him because of cop code. Benton shows the abuser's lieutenant her medical records, showing that he's been beating her up for years. While the other cops sill don't give him up, they do beat the shit out of him with the cover story that he fell while chasing a suspect.

* LarkRiseToCandleford uses the euphemism "chopping firewood" when Susan Braby is involved in a domestic quarrel with her husband Sam. The trope is subverted though - Susan makes no such excuses for the black eye she has and insists on calling the constable to deal with her assailant. The expression is specific to the time and place, and Flora Thompson's original book explains the origin, which is not elucidated in the TV episode.

* B.J. Hunnicutt uses the exact phrase in the ''Series/{{Mash}}'' episode "The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan", to explain away a suspicious leg wound. However, he says this to annoy [[CrazyPrepared Col.]] [[CrazySurvivalist Flagg]], and does not particularly care if he is believed or not. (Actually, he'd been accidentally shot in the leg by Frank Burns.)

* In ''This Can't Be Happening At MacDonaldHall!'' byCreator/ GordonKorman, Bruno and Boots kidnap the rival hockey team's mascot (a large domestic cat) before the first game of the season, and it scratches Boots' face. The coach later asks what happened to his face and Boots says he cut himself shaving. The coach says he knows darn well that Boots is too young to be shaving, and that if the scratch came from a cat, he doesn't want to know about it.

* Every time someone gets beaten up in {{Scum}}:

--> '''Boy:''' I fell

* SleepingWithTheEnemy: Battered wife Laura tells her swimming class classmates that she also takes gymnastics lessons in order to explain "all those terrible bruises".

* ''Film/{{Spider-Man}}'' has Spidey getting a nasty cut from one of Green Goblin's little toys. When NormanOsborn questions Peter about it later at [[DidMomJustHaveTeaWithCthulhu Thanksgiving dinner]], Peter claims to have been knocked down by a bike messenger.

For example, when the police question a murder suspect, they find that he has some cuts or scratches on his face, consistent with the type of wounds that the perpetrator would incur in that sort of crime (perhaps because someone with a knife fought back). When asked where he got them, nine times out of ten he will say he CutHimselfShaving. Likewise, a guy who beat someone up will often say that the victim "fell down some stairs" or "ran into a door" whenever being questioned by the cops.

* In ''Manga/{{Change 123}}'' a student fights with a [[{{Ninja}} kunoichi]] whose weapon of choice is a bunch of sharpened keys on a wire (sort of a disguised rope dart). These keys leave a serious wound on the student's leg, but in the school infirmary she tells the nurse that she accidentally cut herself with her own keys. The nurse, of course, doesn't buy this story (knowing that normal keys don't leave wounds like this), but pretends to accept it [[spoiler:as she is also a kunoichi, from the same clan as the perpetrator, and has recognized her colleague's ''modus operandi''.]]

* ''{{Batman}}'' is quite fond of this. For example, in the comics, Bruce Wayne was once in the hospital and the doctor notes that for a supposed lazy MillionairePlayboy, he has considerable scarring (which is from his work as {{Batman}}, WesternAnimation/{{Batman|TheAnimatedSeries}}, and WesternAnimation/{{Batman|Beyond}}). Wayne responded with:

** One episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman'' had him joking that he CutHimselfShaving to explain a bandage on ''his arm'' (it was actually from a weird chemical Joker injected into him that made him start to act like Joker). Of course, his body ''was'' oddly hairless...

** Yet another Archie comic strip had a surprisingly dark example, when you think about it. Archie is literally ''forced'' by his friends to date Betty because they feel bad for her since Archie always snubs her for Veronica. She's in such a flip to get ready that she slams her cheek AND her forehead and bruises them, but just covers it with makeup. Then her and Archie have to jog through the rain which washes off her makeup, and all the guys at the dance assume he ''roughed her up on the way''. It ends with the guys taking Archie out back and beating him up.

* ''Film/{{Thunderball}}'' begins with James Bond fighting it out with a bad guy in widow drag wielding a fireplace poker. Later, when a physical therapist (a hot one, of course) is examining him, she comments on a scar on his back:

* In TamoraPierce's TortallUniverse books, the would-be knights use "I fell down" as the traditional explanation for any injuries obtained while fighting, because it's considered dishonourable to tell on another page or squire. At one point in ''Alanna: The First Adventure,'' when questioned about [[SweetPollyOliver Alan's]] claim that he "fell down," a servant confirms that, yes, Alan ''did'' fall down... of course, another squire ''helped'' him fall, several times. With his fists.

* In the Swedish novel ''Ondskan'' (The Evil), the main character goes to a BoardingSchoolOfHorrors where the students are punished by the student body through sadistic means, one of them being ''beaten up''. Sometimes, a few get bruised so badly they have to be taken to a nearby hospital, where everyone gives the FellDownTheStairs explanation. The doctor doesn't buy for a moment and asks what the hell is going on but not before lampshading that it "must be one hell of a long staircase."

* In ''Cursor's Fury'' of the ''Literature/CodexAlera'', Crassus attacks Tavi trying to get his mother's purse back, only for Tavi to beat the hell out of him. Crassus thinks he's going to get cashiered out of the Legion for it, until Tavi realizes why he really did it--to protect Tavi from his mother's wrath--and says they don't kick you out of the Legion for falling down the stairs. Crassus then asks what happens if he 'remembers' that Tavi stole his mother's purse, and Tavi responds in that case he'll remember that there are no stairs anywhere near where they are.

* ''TheBradyBunch'': Literally, with Greg in Season 5's "Out of This World," who had a bandage on his chin and Alice makes it a point to ask him to explain. In Barry Williams' autobiography "Growing Up Brady," he explains that he had been involved in a car accident around the time this episode was filmed in November 1973 – the driver of another car was talking to her dog(!) – and that Sherwood Schwartz suggested the "cut himself shaving" explanation.

** Played with - In the cold open of a Season 6 episode, a couple are arguing, and it disturbs their neighbour. When the man answers the door, the Woman (Patient of the Week)'s face comes out all bruised. Neighbour of course assumes the obvious, but it's just a symptom

** It always does. Vampire puppets, trout zombies, a boy-band bent on returning to their home galaxy through a portal powered by tweens' screams, and, of course, Sensei Ping's feud with los luchadores. It all makes sense in context. Mind, the context may not make sense.

* In the first ''HoratioHornblower'' TV movie, Hornblower is held down and beaten by another midshipman on his ship (a habitual bully and abuser of the other midshipmen). One of the officers sees his injuries, and he claims that he missed his footing and fell down a causeway (basically, he fell down the stairs). When he continues to deny that anybody else was involved, the GenreSavvy officer orders him to [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment stay up in the rigging]] (exposed to the rather nasty English Channel weather) so that he might "learn to watch his footing".

* People in the Society for Creative Anachronism engage in sport fights; they wear armor and use sticks rather than metal weapons, but it's quite possible to get bruises and even broken bones. So, note: if you're a female SCA fighter and your doctor asks where you got the marks, do ''not'' offhandedly say, "Oh, my husband and I were fighting..."

* In ''8 Mile'', after getting his ass beat, [[{{Eminem}} Rabbit]] walks into his mom's trailer, and she asks what happened. "I fell down the stairs." [[BlatantLies The stairs in front of their house is comprised of only two steps.]]

* In RobinHobb's ''DragonKeeper'', Sedric explained coming home at dawn with torn clothes and puffy lips after his first encounter with Hest as being very drunk and falling into a ditch.

* Subverted in the Danish series "Langt fra Las Vegas". Casper thinks his father-in-law is abusing his wife, but at the [[BrickJoke end of the episode]], he finds the stone she said she had tripped over.

* The "what's happening" episode "One Strike and You're Out". A strike at his workplace begins the day the main character Raj goes home to find out his mother is unable to work due to ill health and was actually counting on his income. He goes to work to break the strike and comes home with his shirt torn and staggering. When asked what happened he says "I fell down" to which his younger sister asks "Where, down an elevator shaft?". He then admits he was beaten up and lies about who did it because he was embarrassed that it was elderly mother of his boss. She hit him on the back of the head with her protest sign when Raj started yelling at her son and then beat him up while he was down.

* In ''[[http://www.biggercheese.com Bigger than Cheeses]]'' one character gets beaten by his wife and tries to tell his friend:

* Subverted in ''Film/DoloresClaiborne'' by Creator/StephenKing. Although Joe does have a history of beating her, she stopped him from doing so months before. She really, honestly did simply injure herself on accident. But the checkout lady refuses to believe her. However, both her and Joe do use the large bruise to let him save face by ''pretending'' that he gave it to her. It's complicated.

* In ''JonahHex'' the title character sarcastically gives all sorts of unlikely explanations to his massive facial scarring when asked about it, from the traditional "cut myself shaving" to "my toothpick slipped."

* In the novel ''Heart'' by Edmondo D'Amici, Enrico's friend and classmate [[TheWoobie Pietro Precossi]] says similar stuff when people ask him about his bruises. Turns out he's being abused by his alcoholic father. Who, to be fair, later swears off the booze. This is OlderThanRadio.

* In the ''Literature/SPQR'' novel ''A Point of Law", Fulvia's late husband Clodius used to come home gravely wounded due to his position as a gangster and tell her he cut himself shaving. This comes up because her new fiancé Curio comes home with a wound he informs her is minor and she [[TalkingTheMonsterToDeath has to be talked out of]] going on a RoaringRampageOfRevenge. Unfortunately for Curio, one of the concessions the authorities make to avert the rampage is launching a thorough investigation, exposing his WoundedGazelleGambit.

* In Büchner's play ''Theatre/{{Woyzeck}}'' (OlderThanRadio), Woyzeck goes to the tavern after stabbing Marie to death. When blood is spotted on his hand, he claims to have cut himself there. Then how did it get on his elbow? He lamely tries to explain, but the crowd has caught on.

* ''TenaciousDInThePickOfDestiny'' features a dour waitress played by Amy Poehler who, when asked how she received her black eye, she hesitates and mumbles, "Burned myself with a curling iron." In the deleted scenes, she gives various other lame excuses.

* One gag theory trying to explain [[KnightsOfTheOldRepublic Darth Malak's]] missing jaw, claims he cut himself while [[TestosteronePoisoning shaving WITH A LIGHTSABER!]]

* [[VisualNovel/AceAttorney Detective Gumshoe]] always has a bandage on his jaw, possibly a shaving cut.

* ''Film/{{Spider-Man}}'' has Spidey getting a nasty cut from one of Green Goblin's little toys. When Norman Osborn questions Peter about it later at [[DidMomJustHaveTeaWithCthulhu Thanksgiving dinner]], Peter claims to have been knocked down by a bike messenger.

* In ''{{Tropico}} 3'', whenever you mark a citizen to be "dealt with", [[ThePollyanna Juanito the radio announcer]] says that they "slipped and fell out of a 3rd floor window, landed on the street and got run over by both an ambulance and a hearse". Not a single drop in approval rating.