History Main / CruelToBeKind

Compare ShootTheDog, WellIntentionedExtremist, and PercussivePrevention. For the parental version see ToughLove. Also compare BreakHisHeartToSaveHim and ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies, where a character abandons a love interest in an attempt to protect him or her.

* [[{{Your Mileage May Vary}} Arguably, the whole point]] of the {{Mercy Kill}} trope: killing someone (quickly and with a minimum of pain) rather than letting them die painfully.

* One of the hardest things a parent, coach or teacher sometimes has to do is the opposite of helping a student/child ovecome self-doubt. Sometimes, one has to puncture a dream, shatter a hope, because the circumstances are such that it's just not going to happen and pursuing it can even be harmful. It's agonizingly hard to be sure (usually) when such kind cruelty is necessary, and then very painful to inflict it. An example would be an offspring or student who is ''pretty good'' at baseball, say, and dreams of playing MLB. The trouble is that he's nust not ''that'' good, he's not pro material and the parent or coach knows it, and knows his dream could keep him from pursuing a more realistic and acheivable goal. How to tell him without being more cruel than need be? (And of course how to be sure you're right that he really doens't have what it takes!)

[[folder: Theater]]
* ''{{Hamlet}}'': The TropeNamer. It is generally considered as the origin of the StockPhrase. (See the titular character's quote above)

* Not suprisingly, this is the the subject of Nick Lowe's 1979 hit "Cruel to Be Kind"; the narrator's girlfriend uses the title phrase to justify the way she treats him ("It means that I love you").

* In ''{{Bleach}}'', Matsumoto finds this to be one of Gin's most endearing attributes. He always did what was best for Matsumoto, even if it ended up hurting her or others. After [[spoiler:the final battle Gin disappeared, leaving nothing behind for Matsumoto to use as a keepsake. She understands that he did this because a keepsake would have made her linger in the past; without it, she has to move on]].

** Including abortion, even if it's to save the life of the mother.

Do not confuse with CruelMercy, which is about being kind in order to be cruel.

** Similarly, the idea of sailors not learning to swim sounds incredibly stupid and impractical in modern times, but in the age of sail, someone who could swim a little but couldn't be saved would drown slowly, while someone who could not swim at all would drown quickly. Since nobody was actually ''forbidden'' to learn to swim, this was more being cruel to be kind to yourself.

* ''StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'': The episode "A Private Little War''. Mr. Spock is using a form of self-hypnosis to concentrate all of his metabolic activity into healing a wound. As he tries to fight his way out of it he asks Nurse Chapel to hit him, because the pain will help him back to consciousness. This leads to some confusion for Mr. Scott who doesn't understand that the slapping is actually helping Spock.

* In ''{{Bleach}}'', Matsumoto finds this to be one of Gin's most endearing attributes. He always did what was best for Matsumoto, even if it ended up hurting her or others. After [[spoiler:Gin disappears during the final battle without even leaving a keepsake, Matsumoto realizes that if he had left one she would have clung to it and stayed frozen in the past. By leaving her nothing to remember him by, Gin forced Matsumoto to move forward]].

->I must be [[TropeNamer cruel only to be kind.]]
->Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.
->'''''Hamlet''''', Act 3, Scene 4, 173–179

* [[{{Your Mileage May Vary}} Arguably, the whole point]] of the {{Mercy Kill}} trope: killing someone (quickly) rather than letting them die painfully.

* In BurnNotice, Michael state that you have to be cruel to be kind when in hostage negotiations, because if you show too much care for the hostage, you're going to give the hostage taker leverage. If you show you're willing to let them kill the hostage if they're too badly hurt, you've gained an advantage, as hostage taking is a business.

* ''{{Twilight}}'': Bella deliberately picks a fight with her dad, using some of the same words that her mother did when she left him, before storming out of the house, so that James won't go to her house and kill her dad.

* In ''{{Bleach}}'', Matsumoto finds this to be one of Gin's most endearing attributes. He always did what was best for Matsumoto, even if it ended up hurting her or others. After [[spoiler:Gin disappears during the final battle without even leaving a keepsake, Matsumoto realizes that if he had left one she would have clung to it and stayed frozen in the past. By leaving her nothing to remember him by, Gin forced Matsumoto to move forward.

Compare ShootTheDog, WellIntentionedExtremist, and PercussivePrevention. For the parental version see ToughLove.

Compare ShootTheDog, WellIntentionedExtremist, and PercussivePrevention.