History Main / ComicallyIneptHealing

* ''[[VideoGame/ExtrapowerAttackOfDarkforce EXTRAPOWER Attack of Darkforce]]'': When Daitoku Igor is rescued from the Dark Force army, there is tension on how to remove the mind-control device embedded in his brain. The team has a medical doctor on hand, but the differences between human and alien physiology is too unknown - it's possible to even begin to speculate on what could possibly be a safe operation. In all this drama, someone decides that with so many unknowns, they might as well just rip the device out. [[OhCrap And do]]. Amazingly, this defies all odds and actually works, restoring Daitoku Igor to his pre-brainwashed state.

* In ''VideoGame/{{Deltarune}}'' Chapter 2, [[TheBigGal Susie]] gains a spell called Ultimate Heal, which, with a full [[LimitBreak TP]] Gauge, restores HP equivalent to her Magic stat +1... Which is barely above a single digit. Possibly because she's casting it as an attack spell.

* In ''VideoGame/{{Deltarune}}'' Chapter 2, [[TheBigGal Susie]] gains a spell called Ultimate Heal, which, with a full [[LimitBreak TP]] Gauge, restores an astonishing 1 or 2 HP. Possibly because she's casting it as an attack spell.

** She also has Ultimate Heal in the fangame ''VideoGame/{{Deltatraveler''}}. It's still bad, and you're better off using either items or [[RedMage Noelle's]] Healing Prayer.

* In ''VideoGame/Deltarune'' Chapter 2, [[TheBrute Susie]] gains a spell called Ultimate Heal, which, with a full [[LimitBreak TP]] Gauge, restores an astonishing 1 or 2 HP. Possibly because she's casting it as an attack spell.

* Implied in the Videogame/MysteryCaseFiles title ''Escape From Ravenhearst'', in which an animatronic figure representing a MadDoctor spouts off disturbing statements while acting out the part of surgeon in a creepy hospital diorama. One of his lines is "I should have gone to medical school...".

* The Wiki/SCPFoundation has [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-049-j SCP-049-J]], a parody of DeadlyDoctor SCP-049. While 049 is known for killing his "patients", this is framed as a result of his TouchOfDeath combined with his habit of seeking out "diseased" people for mysterious purposes, followed by performing strange procedures which typically end in the person being raised as an undead monster. 049-J, meanwhile, has a much simpler explanation for why it kills all its patients: it's completely nuts, and a moron. In the experiment log, it's shown trying to cure a sore throat by beating the person's neck in with a shoe. The article claims that the only reason 049-J is considered anomalous (besides its inhuman physiology) is that it has an uncanny ability to escape whatever medical disaster it just caused, and somehow convince people that it might be able to cure someone next time.

** Brook, being a skeleton, is under the impression that drinking milk makes him instantly healthy. At first, there's no reason to disbelieve him, since One Piece is full of crazy nonsense like that, but he's pretty clearly still in pain afterwards, despite what he tells himself.

* ''[[Machinima/MeetTheBLUTeam Meet the BLU Medic]]'' has said Medic's medigun do the exact opposite of healing, actually killing whoever gets healed. It was rather telling that [[UnwantedAssistance none of the rest of the team liked being healed]] for this reason, even before he used the medigun on them.
* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' has Doc, who has endorsed CPR as a valid treatment for a bullet to the head, treated a gunshot wound to the foot by rubbing the victim's neck with some aloe vera. Though as he's quick to remind people, he's not a doctor he's a medic. A doctor helps you recover, a medic just makes you feel better while you die. Later character Dr. Gray ''is'' an actual doctor and is perfectly capable of keeping people alive... [[ColdBloodedTorture in situations where they really probably shouldn't be]].

* ''Website/TheSCPFoundation'' has [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-049-j SCP-049-J]], a parody of DeadlyDoctor SCP-049. While 049 is known for killing his "patients", this is framed as a result of his TouchOfDeath combined with his habit of seeking out "diseased" people for mysterious purposes, followed by performing strange procedures which typically end in the person being raised as an undead monster. 049-J, meanwhile, has a much simpler explanation for why it kills all its patients: it's completely nuts, and a moron. In the experiment log, it's shown trying to cure a sore throat by beating the person's neck in with a shoe. The article claims that the only reason 049-J is considered anomalous (besides its inhuman physiology) is that it has an uncanny ability to escape whatever medical disaster it just caused, and somehow convince people that it might be able to cure someone next time.

* ''Website/TheOnion'': "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSt1m4NFUl8 World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100." The titular neurosurgeon is shown to be unable to hold a scalpel without his hands quivering, suffered a stroke in the 1980s, rates his number of surgeries as "800 to 3,000", and has a diploma authorizing him "for the treatment of the bad humors of the brain." Newspapers note that quite a few patients have died in his care, unsurprisingly.

* MeatgrinderSurgery: Crude surgery performed with whatever implements are at hand.

[[caption-width-right:250:[[SarcasmMode Yeah, that'll work.]]]]

* A doctor and an orderly come to a ward with patients awaiting treatment. The doctor looks at the first patient's files and says that the latter's left leg should be amputated, so the orderly immediately chops the arm off with an axe. With the next one, it's his right arm, which the orderly chops off as wekk. With the next one, the doctor says "The right leg. [''Chop''] I said ''leg''. [''Chop''] I said ''right''!"

* A commercial for Sling TV ahs a woman who watches medical dramas assisting an elderly woman who just collapsed. According to the younger woman, "Her kidneys are still beating", thus failing med school forever.

folder:Advertising]]