History Main / CantYouReadTheSign

"No Projectile Vomiting"

* Ashley in ''Film/JustMyLuck'' tries to sit down at a restaurant and get a glass of water, but the FunnyForeigner manager tells her [[YouNoTakeCandle "No buy no sit!"]], then points out a sign that actually ''does'' use those exact words.

** Jay talks to a cab driver. The driver (suitably foreign) says [[YouNoTakeCandle "Look at sign!"]]. It reads "Driver knows only three words of English".

* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'': In [[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E16GraveyardShiftKrustyLove "Graveyard Shift"]], Squidward is closing up shop at the Krusty Krab and puts up the CLOSED sign just as Tom walks up. He asks if they're open, to which Squidward tells him to read the sign. Tom then immediately makes an order.

'''Tom:''' ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe, and a Double Chili Kelp Fries!]]\\

* In ''Manga/{{Inuyasha}}'', during the fox demon exams, Shippo dangles a rope with a sign attached in front of Inuyasha that reads "Do Not Pull". Inuyasha pulls it, and Shippo pulls out a sign that reads "Idiots Will Pull" complete with fireworks. Needless to say, Inuyasha is very pissed and uses the ''[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverKill Wind Scar]]'' on ''Shippo''. Needless to say, Creator/RumikoTakahashi loves this gag, and it appears several more times in her works.

** In the manga, Ryōga, thinking of Akane, hugs a pole that has the notice "Do Not Hug Pole." Because he's so strong, he breaks the pole. And right above the former sign there is another, off-panel in the previous panel, which reads "Do Not Break Pole".
** An exhausted Ryōga is so desperate he asks a ''horse'' for directions. Naturally, there's a nearby sign that reads, "Do not talk to horse".
** Ranma's mom sits on a water main marked "Danger: Do Not Sit".
** Pantyhose Taro is dangled from a tree with a sign on it reading: "Please do not hang people from this tree".

** Ranma is once running atop the fence by the canal (as he does all the time), when a section falls out, marked with a sign that reads "Danger: Unstable. Do not stand on top." He quickly jumps onto the next section... which read "Also unstable" and dumps him into the water.
** One of the more humorous examples has a one-shot character waiting for Kodachi at a garden while doing a NoblewomansLaugh. Naturally, there is a sign right outside that says "Please do not laugh loudly inside the garden".

* ''Series/CowboyBebop2021'':

** In the "Treehouse Of Horror IX" segment "Hell Toupee", Snake starts smoking while in the Kwik-E-Mart, with Apu saying "You cannot smoke in here, sir. Please, the sign is clearly posted, sir.", pointing to a tiny "No Smoking" sign surrounded by more massive cigarette ads. Snake gets arrested and as per Springfield's "three-strikes" law in this segment, [[FelonyMisdemeanor he's executed by the police]].

[[folder:Real Life]]
* Some shops also have a similar sign to the one in ''Wayne's World'', reading "Customers playing 'Smoke on the Water' may seriously wish to reconsider their motives in buying musical instruments." "Sweet Child of Mine," "Freebird," and "Stairway to Heaven" have also been given this treatment. Working in a music shop must be hell. [[note]] Play the bass line to Smoke on the Water, it is different than the guitar rif, and see if they notice. [[/note]]
* Sign sometimes seen in science labs: "Caution: Do Not Look into Laser with Remaining Eye".
* Another favorite "Caution: Only bring cheap watches/credit cards you weren't planning on using anymore near magnet".
* At least one lab has a sign in the hallway reading: "CAUTION: Active Robot". Do not stand in its way, or else.
* [[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/signlanguage/ A collection of bizarre signs]], some of which fit the trope, including [[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4678744/Kissing-banned-at-Warrington-railway-station.html this "no kissing" sign]].
* Back in the day in St. Louis, there was a wonderful greasy spoon that looked like it was a Hollywood set dresser's idea of a Midwestern diner. It was called "Irv's Home Cooking." When (inevitably) a drunk college kid would ask "Where's Irv?", the [[ServiceSectorStereotypes stock character waitress]] would snap her gum, point at the sign out front and say, "Cantcha read the sign? He's home, cooking".
* And finally, who HASN'T seen a "no standing" sign, only to stand next to it? ("Standing", in the first case, meaning the act of leaving your car running in the parking space). Or, for that matter, a "No Loitering" sign.
* Four words: "Slow Children at Play". AmbiguousSyntax results because of the lack of a comma between "Slow" and "Children".
* Thanks to ValuesDissonance, [[https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4083/5063704941_240a3182b4_b.jpg this "No Durians"]] sign falls under this trope just because people might see it and want to try it out to see what's so bad. The main reason behind these signs are that Durians [[ForeignQueasine smell indescribably foul]]. However; you're very unlikely to find the fruit itself outside of South-eastern Asia.
* Related, but with a different intent are signs that read "No Peanuts" or "No Raw Onions". Given how sensitive peanut allergies can be...not really a laughing matter. The "Raw Onions" case is incredibly specific, too -- it's actually on a building at Colorado State University because a professor has a ''severe'' onion allergy, just as bad as peanut allergies.
* "No Turn On Red." The freedom to make a right turn on a red light was introduced in most of the US and Canada [[note]]Quebec is an exception, do not turn on the red light.[[/note]] as a response to the gas crisis -- the idea being that if it's safe to turn, you might as well do it rather than waste gas idling at the light -- and it's now a standard part of drivers' education. These signs appear at busy or obstructed intersections and are among the easiest to miss because they tend to be small black-and-white signs. (Plus, shrubberies can block signs off.) It's a fair bet that if you've driven a car in a medium- or large-sized city in North America, you've blown one of these signs without noticing it.
** Subverted when the "No turn on red" only applies to certain times of the day or certain days. However, the conditions are printed in a smaller size. This ends up with people not turning, but not realize they can turn on red since the condition isn't met.
* An anecdote about the [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar Battle of Gettysburg]]: On the first day of the battle, part of the Union army's XI corps had taken up a position in the town's cemetery as a reserve position. During the events of the first day's battle, the rest of the Union troops were driven back into the cemetery by the Confederates. On the second day of the battle, a junior officer to Gen. O.O. Howard (the XI corps commander) jokingly pointed out a sign in the cemetery saying "Shooting and Use of Firearms is Prohibited". The officer asked if they would get in trouble for violating the sign. Shortly after, a cannonball struck the sign and destroyed it. Gen. Howard reportedly quipped, "It appears the ordinance has been rescinded, and the shooting may go on".
* There was a sign in a mall escalator in the Philippines warning about hitting a sign on the way up the escalator. In other words, it's a sign warning people about hitting their head on it. The real reason it was put up was to get people who aren't paying attention to hit their head on it and duck, rather than to accidentally get them stuck in the wedge where the two escalators meet.
* One of the last photo sessions Music/TheBeatles had was that of the group reclining on a lawn with a "Keep Off the Grass" sign clearly in view.
* In the early 1980s, a 12-year-old boy visiting Ride/SixFlags Over Georgia boarded a car on the rollercoaster ''The Great American Scream Machine'' and flagrantly disobeyed a sign and verbal instructions telling riders to keep their arms in the car, holding the bar in front. As a result, the boy's arms were mangled. The boy's parents attempted to sue the park for his medical bills, claiming extra effort should have been used to enforce the rule.
* One man used a sign that accidentally said something wrong to wriggle out of a parking violation. Specifically, he argued that because the sign actually read "No ''Stoping''" instead of "No ''Stopping''", he was allowed to stop there as he hadn't engaged in any "stoping," that is, mining ore from underground, in the area.
* Anyone who has ever worked in a customer service job can probably tell you that you could have a huge sign on the front door that says "Closed" with the hours of operation listed below, and someone will still try to pull the door open and bang on it furiously wondering why nobody is letting them in.
* Creator/GaryOldman recalled during filming of ''Film/AirForceOne'', the sound stage had a large sign that said "NO DRINKING, NO SMOKING AND NO EATING ON SET". One day, he saw Creator/HarrisonFord standing beneath the sign with a burrito, a cigar and a cup of coffee.
* Anyone who works in a place with animals as a heavy focus (pet store, zoo, animal shelter, etc.) can tell you that a sign saying "Do Not Tap On Glass" or "Do Not Put Fingers In Cage" is bound to be ignored by children and adults alike, much to the annoyance of employees, the stress of the animals in question, and possibly the pain of the offending fingers. Also, visitors will often ask questions about the animals featured that can be easily answered by reading the signs identifying the animals and listing facts about them.
* A common sight in Vietnam is walls painted with "Do not dump trash here" or "Do not urinate here", and bags of trash or, um, "water" stains right beneath the lettering.
* A common complaint is that some door-to-door salesmen (particularly from MLM companies) have ignored “no-soliciting” signs on neighbors’ houses while knocking on doors. Many homeowners, staunchly uninterested in their questionable offers, are generally not happy about engaging with these strangers.
* The UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic had many public buildings and places of business enforce a masking rule with accompanying signage indicating that all people entering must wear a mask upon entry. Many people ignored the signs and went in maskless, which helped spread COVID-19.
* You can easily buy a sign reading "No Junk Mail" and display it next to, or even on, your letterbox, but you shouldn't expect it to actually reduce the quantity of junk mail you will receive.[[note]]The guy hauling a heavy bag of promotional materials around your neighbourhood isn't paid enough to care, and the postal service worker can end up facing legal consequences if they fail to deliver the mail to the address given on the envelope.[[/note]]
[[/folder]]

** There's also an instance early on in the episode with Homer's heart attack, when he begins a quiet prayer to God and is shushed immediately by the nurse, who points to a sign reading "NO PRAYING".

** Lisa is trying to ride the bus to see a museum exhibit:

** In order to protect himself from Homer, Bart hid behind a sign reading "Report Child Abuse".

** When Homer got lost inside a labyrinth, he tried to climb his way out but got electrocuted. He then found a sign stating it was electrified. Out of anger, he punched it and got another shock. He then found a sign reading "Signs also electrified".

** Bart is wearing a fancy Batman-style utility belt and the bullies are chasing him. He presses the belt's "Emergency" button, which gives off a siren ([[WithCatlikeTread telling the bullies his location]]) and shoots off a flare which parachutes to the ground with the words "Need Help Call Police" on the 'chute. When the bullies run up to him Bart says "Can't you read? Call the police!"

* Some shops also have a similar sign to the one in ''Wayne's World'', reading "Customers playing 'Smoke on the Water' may seriously wish to reconsider their motives in buying musical instruments." "Sweet Child of Mine," "Freebird," and "Stairway to Heaven" have also been given this treatment. Working in a music shop must be hell.

* "No Turn On Red." The freedom to make a right turn on a red light was introduced in most of the US and Canada as a response to the gas crisis -- the idea being that if it's safe to turn, you might as well do it rather than waste gas idling at the light -- and it's now a standard part of drivers' education. These signs appear at busy or obstructed intersections and are among the easiest to miss because they tend to be small black-and-white signs. (Plus, shrubberies can block signs off.) It's a fair bet that if you've driven a car in a medium- or large-sized city in North America, you've blown one of these signs without noticing it.

* In ''Manga/InuYasha'', during the fox demon exams, Shippo dangles a rope with a sign attached in front of Inuyasha that reads "Do Not Pull." Inuyasha pulls it and Shippo pulls out a sign that reads "Idiots Will Pull" complete with fireworks. Needless to say, Inuyasha is very pissed and uses the ''[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverKill Wind Scar]]'' on ''Shippo''. Needless to say, Creator/RumikoTakahashi loves this gag, and it appears several more times in her works.

** Also used for ominous {{foreshadowing}} -- at the end of "[[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS1E2TheHarvest The Harvest]]" Angel appears to be standing next to a sign saying WATCH YOU -- appropriate enough for his MysteriousWatcher role. But when he walks away we see the sign actually reads WATCH YOUR STEP, foretelling his FaceHeelTurn into Angelus.

* ''Series/{{Cowboy Bebop|2021}}'':
** In "Venus Pop" our heroes are desperate to get to an EscapePod, yet [[FailedASpotCheck completely miss the large luminous sign]] showing where it is.
** In "Binary Two-Step", the ''[=BeBop=]'' is ComingInHot on top of an abandoned military base, and crashes through a sign saying DO NOT ENTER.
** In "Sad Clown A-Go-Go", foreshadowing of Mad Pierrot's introduction to our heroes is given by a shot of a sign saying CAUTION.

** Inverted in the Classic episode "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS7E1SpearheadFromSpace Spearhead from Space]]", in which the Third Doctor is recovering from regeneration in a British hospital. He sneaks out of his room in a hospital gown, seeking clothes and to hide from his (very perplexed) physician; spotting a door marked "Doctors Only", he (being ''the'' Doctor) walks right in.
** In "The Woman Who Fell to Earth", the Doctor and companions must climb a tall crane to take on the VillainOfTheWeek. There's a sign on the crane showing a falling man and DANGER OF DEATH--DO NOT CLIMB. It also counts as {{Foreshadowing}}, as someone does end up falling.

* ''Series/GetSmart''. In "Where-What-How-Who Am I?", Maxwell Smart crashes his car next to a sign advertising Safe Driving Week. In fairness he only did so because a KAOS agent was firing an automatic weapon at him.

* In the ''Series/{{Monk}}'' episode "Mr. Monk and Little Monk", Monk and Natalie had to stake out at a biker bar to identify the patrons who killed Gladys, the housekeeper of an old friend of Monk's. Monk attempts to tell a biker at the bar that he shouldn't be smoking and points to a no smoking sign right above the biker. Not only did the biker not stop smoking, but the biker simply reached up for the sign and set it on fire.

** In the episode "[[Recap/SupernaturalS02E19FolsomPrisonBlues Folsom Prison Blues]]", there are numerous signs posted saying that fighting by inmates will not be tolerated, but the episode is full of GoodOldFisticuffs.
** In "My Heart Will Go On", Fate is trying to kill the Winchesters with freak accidents. As the brothers walk nervously along the street, they're alarmed by skateboarders zooming past them, pedestrians walking large dogs, and street performers juggling sharp objects, despite a sign forbidding all of these activities.
** In "A Little Slice of Kevin", Crowley tortures Kevin Tran by cutting off a finger. We then cut to our heroes passing a sign saying, "Beware: Sharp Edges Keep Fingers Clear".
** In "Remember the Titans", Zeus tortures Prometheus with lightning. There's a sign on the wall that says, "Danger 1000 volts".
* A Christmas episode from ''Series/SwiftandShiftCouriers'' has Mario being told to stop by the Traffic Controller, which causes a fight between them. Later that same episode, Amanda nearly killed the traffic controller while drunk.

* ''Series/TorchwoodChildrenOfEarth''. Gwen pistol-whips a (fake) ambulance officer, next to a poster warning of the legal consequences of assaulting ambulance officers.

* At the start of ''Film/MadMax2TheRoadWarrior'', Max finds a truck abandoned near a sign indicating the Mundi Mundi Lookout, except the Look and Out are separated by a space. Clearly the driver didn't look out, as Max finds his corpse.

* You can easily buy a sign reading "No Junk Mail" and display it next to, or even on, your letterbox, but you shouldn't expect it to actually reduce the quantity of junk mail you will receive.[[note]]The guy hauling a heavy bag of promotional materials around your neighbourhood isn't paid enough to care, and the postal service worker is can end up facing legal consequences if they fail to deliver the mail to the address given on the envelope.[[/note]]

* ''VideoGame/EarthBound'':

[[caption-width-right:350:[[WesternAnimation/{{Arthur}} That sign won't stop me, because I can't read!]]]]

[[caption-width-right:350:You can't tell me what to do -- because I don't even know what it means!]]

->''"Sign, sign, everywhere a sign\\

Can't you read the sign?"''

* ''Film/CarryOnBehind'': Two pretty girls plan to camp at a caravan site. One of them is dismayed by the sign saying "caravans only", but the other knows that they will easily charm the site owner, as indeed they do.

** Parodied in the animated series. Timon narrowly escapes a [[PiranhaProblem piranha infested lake]] and complains that there should be a sign. Pumbaa replies "Like this one?" and points out a plain looking sign next to them saying "Beware: Piranhas". Timon tries to save face by saying the sign should be bigger and Pumbaa points out an even ''bigger'' sign with spotlights and the same word written in lights.

** In "Remember the Titans", Zeus tortures Prometheus with lighting in an AbandonedWarehouse, and there's a sign on the wall that says, "Danger 1000 volts".

* ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya'' never met a sign she didn't [[GenkiGirl promptly]] [[{{Jerkass}} ignore]], such as the NO DIVING sign during the pool scene in "Endless Eight", while Kyon has never missed a sign that he didn't suffer for. At least, not yet. R.I.P., Kyon's Bike.

* Actually inverted in ''Webcomic/{{Alice|Webcomic}}'', in which the title character actually ''ignores'' the sign.

** The [[SelfDestructMechanism auto destruct button]] has a sign warning not to press it unless you really, really mean it. Also doubles as SchmuckBait.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO0F6enwzEo Gun Free Zone]]'' video. Be safe -- buy yourself a sign!
[[/folder]]

* An intro skit in ''Machinima/SanityNotIncluded'' {{parodie|dTrope}}s the trope.