History Main / BetterThanSex

-->'''Julien:''' Sophie was back in the game! Pure, raw, explosive pleasure! Better than drugs, better than smack! Better than a dope-coke-crack-fix-shit-shoot-sniff-ganja-marijuana-blotter-acid-ecstasy! Better than sex, head, 69, orgies, masturbation, tantrism, Kama Sutra or Thai doggy-style! Better than banana milkshakes! Better than Creator/GeorgeLucas's trilogy, 'Franchise/TheMuppets' and [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey 2001]]! Better than [[Series/TheAvengers1960s EmmaPeel]], Creator/{{Marilyn|Monroe}}, [[Franchise/TombRaider Lara Croft]] and [[LasciviousBeautyMark Cindy Crawford's beauty mark]]! Better than the B-side to Music/AbbeyRoad, Music/JimiHendrix and the first man on the moon! Space Mountain, Santa Claus, Bill Gates' fortune, the Dalai Lama, Lazarus raised from the dead! [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Schwarzenegger]]'s testosterone shots, [[Creator/PamelaAnderson Pam Anderson]]'s lips! Woodstock, raves... Better than Sade, Rimbaud, Morrison and Castaneda! Better than freedom, better than life!

* A Taco Cabana radio ad claims that "Taco Cabana has the best Tex-Mex. Everybody says it's better than... [[SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion pizza]]," explaining that they couldn't mention sex on the radio and, besides, [[SexSells there's too much sex in advertising]].

* ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'' parodies the above-mentioned Better than Sex cake with the less ambitious, but more honest, "Better than ''Cuddling'' Cake".

* In a series filled with a lot of perverts, ''Literature/HighSchoolDxD'' has Vali Lucifer who gets turned on more with fighting stronger opponents than making love and is not interested in the latter, much to [[CatGirl Kuroka's]] [[IgnoredEnamoredUnderling headache.]]

-->"They're like sex, except [[HollywoodDateless I'm having them]]!"

* In an ''Fanfic/EmpathTheLuckiestSmurf'' mini-story, Tapper describes being intimate with the Lord the same way King David described his best friend Jonathan's love for him -- that it "surpasses the love of women". In "Smurfed Behind: The Other Side Of The Mirror", MirrorUniverse Greedy says that eating his chocolate cake is better than sex...not that he thinks that sex is bad.

** After being beside himself with joy trying ImpossiblyDeliciousFood with Shiori at a restaurant, Akira comes up with the CatchPhrase that he's still of the age where he's "more interested in food than girls". Carol later pokes holes in that idea. This is in part obfuscating that Akira has a TraumaButton relating to sex from his horrible experience in the slums before the story began.

* ''LightNovel/RebuildWorld'':

* In a series filled with a lot of perverts, ''LightNovel/HighSchoolDxD'' has Vali Lucifer who gets turned on more with fighting stronger opponents than making love and is not interested in the latter, much to [[CatGirl Kuroka's]] [[IgnoredEnamoredUnderling headache.]]

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13720201/4/The-Redemption-of-Ron-Weasley The Redemption of Ron Weasley]]'' Ginny comments in a letter that Harry once remarked that flying was better than sex and that their sole attempt to [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs combine the two]] was not as much fun as you'd think.

* ''Radio/{{Earthsearch}}''. Lenart gleefully slaughters the inhabitants of Holocaust City with laser cannons, while shouting: "This is more fun than the [[FreeLoveFuture sex competitions!]]"

[[folder: Radio]]

-->'''Jon:''' This is better than sex.
-->'''Elise (his girlfriend):''' I agree.
-->[{{Beat}}]
-->'''Jon:''' Hey!

-->'''Drake''': Oh.
-->'''Josh''': My.
-->'''Both''': God.
-->'''Drake''': We rode The Demonator.
-->'''Josh''': The greatest roller coaster in the history of mankind.
-->'''Drake''': It's ''better than love''.
-->'''Josh''': It's ''better than'' '''''girls'''''.
-->'''Drake''': Okay, don't get crazy.

--> "Imagine drinking the finest champagne and the sensation of the most sensual lovemaking you've ever experienced. Overlay that with the rush the opium fiend feels as he takes that first breath on the pipe, and you begin to have some sense, some tiny, infinitesimal sense of what it feels like to drink the blood of...a living human being."

-->'''Stewie''': It's too bad you can't have any. It's practically orgasmic. [takes a bite] [-OH YES! YES! OH! OH! YES! YES!-]
-->'''Brian''': [[Film/WhenHarryMetSally I'll have what he's having.]]