History HypocriticalHumor / LiveACtionTV

** [[Recap/DoctorWhoS30E8SilenceInTheLibrary "Silence in the Library"]]: When {{jerkass}} Strackman Lux refuses to share information about the Library with the Doctor because he refuses to sign a nondisclosure contract, the Doctor berates him, pointing out that he doesn't want one man's pride to kill everyone in the room. River Song then asks him why he doesn't just sign Lux's contract... before admitting that, despite having been hired by Lux, she didn't sign it either.

* ''The 5 Mrs. Buchanans'' : In "Heart of the Matter?", Roy agrees not to play in an alumni football game because his wife, Alex, believes he will get hurt. When Mother Buchanan (the family's domineering matriarch) finds out, she is furious. She insists that Roy play in the game to uphold the Buchanan family tradition. When Roy mentions that Alex doesn't want him to, Mother Buchanan tells him, ''"Roy Buchanan, I did not raise you to be dictated to by some overbearing woman."''

* ''Series/DearWhitePeople'': When Al complains about how Apple uses child slave labor in China to manufacture its phones, his phone starts going off. Guess what phone it is?

'''The Doctor:''' Yeah...Shut up.

*** Graham asks why they should be running after the dangerous alien, then follows everyone else...who are running after the dangerous alien.

'''Sheldon:''' Little Miss "grown-ups don't play with toys"! If I went into that apartment right now, would I not find Toys/BeanieBabies? Are you not an accumulator of Franchise/{{Care Bears}} and Franchise/{{My Little Pon|y}}ies? And who is that Japanese feline frolicking on your shorts? Hello, HelloKitty!

%%* Ms. Hushbaum, the Loud Librarian from ''Series/AllThat''?

* In the ''Series/BabylonFive'' episode "The Geometry of Shadows", technomage Elric refutes Londo's false denial about pestering Elric for an a event of Vir delivering just such a request. Londo complains, "Recording a conversation __ a very low thing to do." as the screen cuts to a shot of the hidden camera Londo had just planted in Sherifian's office.

* On ''Series/CrazyExGirlfriend'', Rebecca sings about how [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4hh1YhDfbA she's a good person]]… while ''threatening people with a knife''. "Say it! Say it or I'll kill your husband! I'll gut him like a fish!"

'''The Doctor:''' Yeah... Shut up.

*** Graham asks why they should be running after the dangerous alien, then follows everyone else... who are running after the dangerous alien.

* Mimi from ''Series/TheDrewCareyShow'' constantly makes fun of Drew's weight, calling him names like "pig", despite the fact that she's noticably bigger than he is.

* In ''Series/TheFlash2014'' episode "Flash vs. Arrow", [[Series/{{Arrow}} Oliver Queen]] visits Central City to ask for the help of Star Labs with some analysis. While that's happening, he decides to train Barry to be a better superhero. Before said training, he tells Barry that they'll have discuss his use of "silly code names" for his enemies. This is coming from the guy who regularly uses similar code names for his own enemies. Barry [[LampshadeHanging points this out]] by asking if the aforementioned discussion will be "over coffee with Deathstroke and The Huntress."

--->'''Roz:''' Frasier's a good guy, he's smart, he's sweet, and way too good for you. Why don't you just leave, nobody here likes you anyway.\\

** In the episode where the ''Series/{{Cheers}}'' regulars show up, the lazy bar-fly Norm hits it off with Marty. When time comes for them to part company, Marty invites Norm to catch up if ever Norm's in Seattle:

** There's also a bit where it looks like Frasier is going to be compelled to tell the truth about Niles' feelings for Daphne at Niles' divorce deposition, thus ruining his chance of getting anything in the settlement ''and'' exposing his feelings for Daphne. Martin urges him to just lie, but Frasier feels his ethics forbid this. After the resulting argument, Frasier storms out, and Martin sneers about how Frasier buckles under pressure, and how "some of us [i.e. him] can deal with a tough situation head on, and others just need an escape'... whilst he's pouring himself a stiff drink and Niles has retreated to his 'safe place' under the piano.

** In the same episode, there's someone in the building across the street with a telescope trained on their apartment building. The gang are horrified by this invasion of privacy, but then get distracted when they notice Ugly Naked Guy has got gravity boots.

--->'''Spencer:''' Hey guys, don't make me look guilty, like it was all my fault.\\

* In a recurring ''Series/InLivingColor'' skit, Kim Wayans played an inner city woman named Miss Benita Buttrel, who would often decry the gossip surrounding several figures in her neighborhood...and then proceed to bury them under rumor and slander in the ugliest way possible. Nearly every time she was finished talking about someone, she would then add on, "But I ain't one to gossip, ''so you didn't hear that from me''."
* ''Series/{{Jessie}}'': In "World Wide Web of Lies", Christina tells Jessie she has her under 24 hour surveillance and then complains about being under 24 hour surveillance herself by the paparazzi.

* During the 2016 presidential race, Donald Trump's inflammatory rhetoric, and the release of an ''Access Hollywood'' tape of him making lewd remarks, caused some Republicans up for re-election to unendorse him. However, pressure from the Trump Republican base caused some of those Republicans who denounced him to un-unendorse him so as not to anger those who might vote for him. Put it another way, they denounced Trump as a terrible candidate but said they'd vote for him. Best shown with Pennsylvania Senator Pat Toomey, whose indecisiveness prompted ''Jimmy Kimmel Live'' to create [[AttackOfThePoliticalAd a parody ad]]:

** This was half of Maya's repertoire, aside from [[SoapboxSadie shrill activism]]. Oddly enough, there were other times where they didn't seem to be playing it as a gag, she just was... hypocritical. (For instance, deriding Elliot for his nerdy looks back in high school.) In fact there were times where this seemed to be a FamilyUnfriendlyAesop, implying that others were being ''unreasonable'' in asking her to stop berating someone over their looks or social status, or for her to apologize for doing so.

* ''Series/MadAboutYou'' : Ira attempts to bribe a college professor into letting Jamie into his class. When Ira asks what he teaches, the professor coolly replies, ''"Ethics."'' In their very next scene, the professor is taking Ira's money and approving Jamie's entry into his class.
* In an episode of ''Series/MadeInCanada'', Richard Strong tells the star of their most popular show to get hair replacement surgury in Mexico, where it's much cheaper. Cut to a report of him dying of post-operative infection "I begged him not to get those hair implants.".
* ''Series/{{MADtv}}'': There's a sketch spoofing ''Series/LawAndOrder'' where the ColdOpen of random people finding a corpse is either nonsensical or [[{{Filler}} unnecessarily elaborate]]. It includes a mafia hit man interrupting one of his kills (strangling someone to death with a cord for being a rat) because he's shocked to find a nearby corpse he wasn't aware of.

** In its first couple of seasons, they would often show [[StrawHypocrite Majors Burns and Houlihan]] spying on and expressing disgust at the sexual dalliances of the other characters... which would get the Majors so horny they'd immediately start fooling around themselves.
** In a later season, Hawkeye and B.J. start riffing on famous Shakespearean phrases ("Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears, I promise to return them.") Winchester counters with a straight reading of the ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'' line, "There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Hawkeye replies, "Man, if there's one thing I hate it's someone who butchers Shakespeare."

** In "Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever", Monk has witnessed a gang shooting and is in WitnessProtection under Agent Grooms. On their way to the safehouse, they stop at the general store to stock up on supplies, and Agent Grooms tells Monk, Natalie and Stottlemeyer to not do anything that could draw attention to themselves.....while he's wearing a very conspicuous three-piece suit. [[LampshadeHanging Natalie even lampshades it]].

** Another episode, in a Muppet Labs segment, had Dr Bunsen Honeydew describe his assistant Beaker as a "short stubbly person". Beaker is actually ''taller'' than Bunsen.

* In the ''Series/MurdochMysteries'' ElectionDayEpisode, Mrs Brackenreid tells her husband exactly why he shouldn't vote for several of the candidates, and then when he suggests that leaves the suffragists, says that she doesn't understand why some women want the vote, she's quite content leaving it to him.

* Kate in ''Series/{{NCIS}}'' complained about Tony's porn obsession but looked at porn sites herself off-work and moaned about sexual objectification of women just before finding a bunch of shirtless men being photographed highly attractive. We'll put the Wet T-Shirt contest in her college days as something that occurred when drunk.

--> '''Tom:''' Kids are easily excited over the silliest things. ''[sees a gallon of ice cream]'' Ooh, neon pistacho glow ice cream!

* Played straight in the ''Series/OnlyFoolsAndHorses'' episode "Little Problems". Del is asked to make a contribution for his younger brother's wedding, and doesn't want to pay out too much money. Once he realizes that the bride's father only means a contribution of ideas and opinions, he attempts to get out of his earlier suggestion of using the old pub for the reception and back to a country club. When Alan anxiously asks, "But surely you don't like all that type of thing, do you?", Del replies, "Oh, I hate it. I hate it, Alan. I mean, those sorts of people only do things for effect," as he is served a massive cocktail, complete with fruit and umbrellas.

** In "Perspective", Commander Cruger is asking the rangers to tell him about their most recent battle due to the satellite surveillance footage being disrupted. Red Ranger Jack goes first, corrupting the story with his own vanity. Blue Ranger Sky attempts to retell the story accurately, but makes the same mistake.

** In the November 18, 1999 episode, Dave the Cabbie complains to a passenger that "there are too many immigrants coming over here and living off us hardworking Canadians!" Then he mentions that he has to pick up his welfare cheque after work.

* In ''Series/SamanthaWho'', Samantha is relating an incident to her ex boyfriend, breaking off to ask him to 'Please put down the baloney, I'm trying to tell you how I don't need attention from men anymore!'

-->'''Lindsay''': Really? Well, with Tommy, what you see is what you get. He's always just himself. He'd never do anything sneaky.
-->*hard cut to Tommy listening in on the girls' conversation through the bug*

-->'''Screech''': And if I might butt in, Tommy, you should have told Lindsay what you did a long time ago.
-->'''Mr. Belding''': *through the bugging radio equipment* That's good advice, Screech. You should have taken it yourself.[[note]]Mr. Belding turns out to have found and fixed the broken equipment, as well as placing a bug under a football helmet that's among the things Screech attempts to sell to raise money.[[/note]]
* Extremely common in ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' episodes. E.g.: Elliot makes a crack about Dr Cox's god complex. Dr Cox claims he has no idea what she's talking about, only to demand a random extra kiss his ring. In another episode, JD complains about a former patient following him around like she has no other friends; immediately after Turk goes to see his wife and JD says "I'll go with you." "[[LampshadeHanging Of course]]."

** In the middle of a discussion about getting tax cuts past the senate crossbench:

** Possibly unintentional example: In an episode Kirk is told "Your old titles mean nothing here, Captain."

* ''Series/TheWalkingDead'': Once Negan returns to Alexandria after roaming alone, he encounters [[LittleMissBadass Judith]]. The two talk, and Negan casually curses in front of her, leading to this:

-->'''Miranda:''' Do you know who makes video games? Corporate America. I hate Corporate America. I'm starting a club about it. We're looking for sponsers.

'''Adam:''' Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean that its bad. Also, fuck you, everything you like sucks.\\

* ''Series/YesMinister'': The Chief Whip gets a glorious eexaple while dressing Hacker down for making some... inopportune statements... in public.
-->"In politics you have to learn to say things with tact and finesse, you berk!"

* One of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenny_Everett Kenny Everett's]] running characters was 'Mr Angry of Mayfair', a city gent who would usefully appear to complain about the filth on TV, only to reveal at the end that he was dressed in women's underwear.

* In the first time presenting a show on commericial television Andrew Denton pretends to ring up the head of the network to complain about how often the ad breaks are. He was formerly on the Australian government-run ABC which has no ad breaks. We only hear his part of the conversion and it ends like this:

* The ''Series/SavedByTheBellTheNewClass'' episode "The Love Bugs" has a few examples of this.
** Lindsay is faced with both Ryan and Tommy competing for her favor and decides to talk it over at the slumber party with Rachel and Maria. Ryan and Tommy, separately and without the other knowing, plant a bug each at Lindsay's bedroom to overhear the girls' conversation. When the focus is on Ryan during the conversation, Lindsay starts to gush over him a bit, leading to the dialogue below:
-->'''Maria''': Yeah, I know Ryan has a great smile, but, trust me, I went to Valley with him, and he's ''always'' up to something.
-->'''Ryan''': How can she say that?! I need more volume. *increases volume to hear better*
** Then this is followed up by:

** Finally, after Lindsay gives a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech to Tommy and Ryan for having bugged Lindsay's bedroom before announcing her decision to [[TakeAThirdOption take Maria to the concert instead of either Tommy or Ryan]] at the moment that Screech is holding a sale at the gym in a desperate attempt to raise enough money to pay for the equipment Tommy used to eavesdrop on the girls before it got broken, all while trying to keep it hidden from Mr. Belding because Screech fails to tell him what happened to the equipment:

** Finally, after Lindsay gives a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech to Tommy and Ryan before announcing her decision to [[TakeAThirdOption take Maria to the concert instead of either Tommy or Ryan]] at the moment that Screech is holding a sale at the gym in a desperate attempt to raise enough money to pay for the equipment Tommy used to eavesdrop on the girls before it got broken, all while trying to keep it hidden from Mr. Belding because Screech fails to tell him what happened to the equipment:

--->'''Karen:''' Ok, ok, it's over. Now, listen to me. ''[gets out a pill]'' The first thing you have to do is admit that you have a problem. (swirls the pill in her martini) Because if you can't even recognize the signs... (drops the wet pill into her mouth) Then you are really in sorry shape. ''[washes down the pill]'' Oh, mmm! ''[to the martini glass]'' Why are you so good to me?

* ''The 5 Mrs. Buchanans'' : In the episode ''"Heart of the Matter?"'' Roy agrees not to play in an alumni football game because his wife, Alex, believes he will get hurt. When Mother Buchanan (the family's domineering matriarch) finds out, she is furious. She insists that Roy play in the game to uphold the Buchanan family tradition. When Roy mentions that Alex doesn't want him to, Mother Buchanan tells him, ''"Roy Buchanan, I did not raise you to be dictated to by some overbearing woman."''

(''man in the background slips and falls'')\\

(''camera pans to a TV that says "Executive Producer Lorne Michaels"'')
* ''Series/AgentsOfSHIELD'' has a moment where Coulson criticizes an ancient organization for their SigilSpam, pointing out that the attention it draws is the reason he removed the eagle logos from the S.H.I.E.L.D. vans. Bobbi Morse responds thusly:
-->'''Bobbi:''' You know, we have a ginormous eagle on top of our jet.\\

** In the episode [[Recap/AgentsOfSHIELDS2E9YeWhoEnterHere "Ye Who Enter Here"]], one of the Koenig brothers, who are all InexplicablyIdenticalIndividuals, learns about Agent 33, a Comicbook/{{HYDRA}} agent who, due to a damaged holographic mask, looks exactly like Agent May. He comments how weird it must be for two people to have the same face.

-->'''James''': You know the one thing I can't stand about your brother, Tris? It's when he gets patient with you. He gets this saintly look on his face and you know that any moment now he's going to forgive you. For something ''he's'' just done.

* ''Series/{{Angel}}''. A RunningGag with Doyle's character.
-->'''Doyle''': It's not all about fighting and gadgets and such. It's about reaching out to people, showing them that there's love and hope still left in the world...\\
'''Homeless Woman''': (interrupting) Hey, spare change?\\
'''Doyle''': Get a job, you lazy sow!

-->'''Michael''': Some people are just impossible to have a conversation with.\\
'''Lucille''': If that's a veiled attempt to insult me, I didn't hear it, and I won't respond to it.

* ''Series/{{Austin and Ally}}'': Trish has been fired from numerous jobs and proceeds to call Austin and Ally lazy.

* 60's ''Series/{{Batman}}'', having just encountered The Green Hornet in a window
-->'''Robin''' (whispering): Gosh Batman, what do they dress like that for?

* ''The Bazura Project'''s episode on bad language in cinema has a segment where the white male hosts are dismissive of a woman's complaints about gendered insults (bitch, slut, etc) in films, but take offense at a woman calling a man a "jerk". Then they show a bunch of scenes with racist language, and object to [[Film/TheBluesBrothers "What are you gonna do about it, whitey?"]].

** Done by ''Sheldon'' of all people, during the episode "The Nerdvanna Annihilation". After Penny derides Leonard for his toy collection, driving him into such a depression that he gives them all away, Sheldon [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFaDGg1ySgE gives her]] a well-deserved TheReasonYouSuckSpeech:
--->'''Penny''': What the hell's going on? \\
'''Sheldon''': (With genuine anger) You ''hypocrite''!\\
'''Penny''': What? \\
'''Sheldon''': Little Miss "grown-ups don't play with toys"! If I went into that apartment right now, would I not find Toys/BeanieBabies? Are you not an accumulator of Franchise/{{Care Bears}} and Franchise/{{My Little Pon|y}}ies? And who is that Japanese feline frolicking on your shorts? Hello, HelloKitty!

--->*someone knocks on the door*\\
'''Leonard''': Want to get that?\\
'''Sheldon''': Not particularly.\\
'''Leonard''': Could you get that?\\
'''Sheldon''': I suppose I could, if I were asked.\\
'''Leonard''': Would you please get that?\\
'''Sheldon''': Well, of course. *gets up to answer the door* Why do you have to make things so complicated?

-->'''Avon''': ''(on vox)'' Use your delicate, skillful touch.\\
''(Vila kicks the hatch open instead)''\\
'''Vila''': I used my delicate, skillful boot.
* In ''Series/BreakoutKings'', in the episode "Cruz Control," the team is chasing a terminally ill escaped convict who is killing other criminals, and the team of [[BoxedCrook Boxed Crooks]] discusses whether they really should bother to catch him.
-->'''Erica''': Regardless of whom he's taking out, you can't appoint yourself judge, jury, and executioner.\\
'''Shea''': Good point. What's your tattoo stand for again? Wait, is that the Chinese symbol for "hypocrite"?\\
'''Erica''': Still got room for one more, Shea.\\
'''Shea''': Allegedly though, right?

-->'''Santiago''': You handled this really well, Peralta, I take back what I said about you being immature.\\
'''Peralta''': Oh. Apology accepted, Fart-monster.

** In the episode "Earshot" Wesley points out that since Buffy can hear everyone's thoughts, it would take mental discipline to not broadcast their thoughts to Buffy. Within seconds, Wesley thinks about Cordelia in a highly inappropriate way. Buffy smirks at Wesley, and he excuses himself from the room in embarrassment.
** Also from Earshot is this:
--->'''Xander''': Hogan Martin thinks he's sooooo hot. Like we should all be awed by him 'cause he can put a ball in the net.\\
'''Hogan''': Hey, Xander.\\
'''Xander''': He said my name. He knows my name.
** In the MusicalEpisode "Once More With Feeling" Spike's song is all about how he wishes Buffy would get away from him as his unrequited feelings for her are tearing him up. When Buffy flees at the end of the song, Spike calls out pitiably, "So, you're not staying then?"
** In "A New Man" Giles is turned into a demon, but declares that he won't start acting like a monster just because he looks like one. Then he sees Professor Walsh, who pissed him off earlier in the episode, and chases her down the street roaring loudly.

---> Xander, just because this is never going to work there's no need to be negative.

--->'''Cordelia''': Senior boys are the only way to go. Guys from our grade, forget about it, they're children. Y'know? Like Jesse. Did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog. You just wanna put him to sleep. But senior boys, hmm, they have mystery. They have... What's the word I'm searching for? Cars! I just am not the type to settle. Y'know? It's like when I go shopping. I have to have the most expensive thing. [[DistinctionWithoutADifference Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more.]]\\
'''Girl''': You know, I--\\
'''Cordelia''': Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished?
* In Season 8 of ''Series/CanadasWorstDriver'' from host Andrew Younghusband:
-->'''Andrew''': As the host of ''Canada's Worst Driver'', I'm not allowed to curse, but holy (''bleep'') (''bleep'') balls, Flora scared the living (''bleep'') (''bleep'') out of me.

--->'''Martha''': ''[chuckling]'' You really are something, you know? You always think everything's about you. ''[Hands him a stack of leaflets]]'' Here.\\
'''Castle''': What are these?\\
'''Martha''': Oh, they're fliers for my play. I thought you could hand them out when you were signing books tomorrow.
** In a later episode, both Castle and Beckett have gone out on separate dates and ended up at the same very exclusive restaurant. They spent the entire time preoccupied with the BodyOfTheWeek and had a tendency to slip away from their supposed dates to confer about the case with each other. Finally, they bailed entirely and the dates hooked up with one another. At the end of the episode, as Castle and Beckett go out to grab a bite to eat at a burger joint, they swap notes on their dates earlier that evening, remarking that they seemed 'boring' and 'a little self-absorbed':
--->'''Castle''': Some people just don't know how to behave on a date.\\
'''Beckett''': ''Especially'' on a first date.

--->'''Martha''': I am shocked that there is gambling in this house! Deal me in.

** In "3XK", when Montgomery's profiling the murderer Castle remarks that [[NotSoDifferent he shares several similarities with Montgomery's profile]]. When Montgomery gets to "has a menial, unimportant job," Beckett (slightly snidely) points out that this means the killer is "''definitely'' you." Quick as a flash, Castle casually remarks that in that case, [[InsultBackfire he'll base his next bestselling mystery novel on Esposito instead]]. Beckett looks genuinely shocked and insulted. You were saying something about "menial and unimportant", Beckett?

--->'''Norm''': Woody you can't go sneaking out nights on someone you love! Woody you have to believe that truth–\\
'''Carla''': Norm your wife Vera's on the phone!\\
'''Norm''': I'm not here. ''[back to Woody]'' –and honesty are the cornerstones of a relationship!

--->'''Barfly 1''': Hey isn't that that French guy who's trying to steal Woody's girlfriend?\\
'''Cliff''': Yeah, what a slimebag.\\
'''Barfly 2''': The man's got the morals of a snake.\\
'''Norm''': Can't believe he'd show his face in here.\\
'''Henri''': (smiles and waves) Hello fellows!\\
'''Norm and the others''': (very cheerfully) Hey Henri! How you doin'?

--->'''Britta:''' Ow! Real mature. ''[She leaves]''\\
'''Senor Chang''': ''[Childishly]'' That's right, we ''are'' mature! ''Too'' mature to sit in a class with a cheating lying poop-face!\\

--->'''Annie:''' [''To Britta''] I'm not hiding my own pen, you paranoid weirdo! [''To everyone else''] Everyone stay within each other's sight lines, one of you is a monster.

--->'''Oscar''': (''to Emma'') Your son is turning the gas station into a movie theatre!\\
'''Brent''': Keep in mind that Dad does have a tendency to overstate these things.\\
'''Oscar''': I've never overstated a single thing in the history of the planet!

--->'''Karen''': She seems quick to judge. I noticed that right away about her.

-->'''Sally''': It's homophobic, you stupid queen!

** Bonus joke if you know Stewart [[StageNames wasn't Jon's original last name]].[[note]]His birth name was Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz[[/note]]

* ''Series/ADifferentWorld'' The students are volunteering at a community center in a poor neighborhood when Whitley' s wallet is stolen. When she makes a snarky comment about she should have expected it from "people like that", Dwayne blasts her for her elitist attitude--then hurries off, having just realized that he forgot his computer at the center.
* ''Series/DoctorWho''. Happens with the Doctor all the time, as his AwesomeEgo is a RunningGag.

* ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'': In the episode "Driver's License", Drake and Josh talk about they being now mature, just before fighting over the "purple controller" and tackle each other down.
** In the episode "Josh is Done", when Drake is forced by Mr. Roland to work with Clayton due to Josh working with a new lab partner, Craig and Eric make fun of Clayton for being a nerd, even though they are nerds themselves.

* Mimi from ''Series/TheDrewCareyShow'' constantly makes fun of Drew's weight, calling him names like 'pig', despite the fact that she's noticably bigger than he is.

(''{{beat}}'')\\

(''The Flash runs in and pushes her out of the way at superspeed'')\\

* ''Series/{{Frasier}}'' :

** In a season five episode, Ross is annoyed by Chandler's frequent flirting with a delivery girl even though he is dating Monica. Chandler says it's no big deal_unil Monica says she does it all the time.
** Phoebe believes that Swedish massages are an evil corperation even though she works at a Swedish spa herself.

* ''Series/{{Good Luck Charlie}}'': In "Duncan's Got Talent", Ivy calls Spencer a chicken for not telling Teddy that she can't dance, but she didn't tell her either.
* The basic concept of Michelle in ''Grownups''; a nutritionist who constantly eats junk food.

'''Jill:''' ''(sigh)'' You're right.\\
''{{beat}}''\\

-->'''Narrator Ted''': On the night of Stewart and Claudia's wedding, reality was the enemy. \\
'''Bridesmaid''': The Peace Corps? \\
'''Barney''': Yeah. I ship out tomorrow. Two Years. Some people say the Peace Corps is the most noble thing one can do. To those people I say, is it? And most of them say, yes it is.

--->'''Ted''': So, kids, Kathy couldn't stop talking. Can you imagine how awful that is?\\
'''Kids''': ...

--->'''Lily''': He just left! In the middle of our own party! You don't ''do'' that.\\
'''Robin''': …\\
'''Lily''': Unless, of course, you're chasing after somebody who's already done it, and then...and then I think it's okay. *trails off*

--->'''Robin:''' [offended] So you dumped me as a patient so you could ''ask me out''?\\

'''Robin:''' [disappointed] You're not asking me out?

--->'''Carly''': Poor kid. It must feel bad to love someone who doesn't love you back.\\
'''Freddie''': (turns to stare at Carly)\\
'''Carly''': Sorry.

--->'''Sam''': Some people just have no manners. (throws an empty soda can on the floor for Freddie to pick up)

--->'''Spencer''': Hey guys, don't make me look guilty, like it was all my fault.\\
'''Carly, Sam, Freddie''': (ALL stare at Spencer)\\
'''Spencer''': Oh yeah.

--->'''Spencer''': Aw, I hate that channel! They always make adults look like buffoons!\\
'''Carly''': You forgot to wear pants.\\
'''Spencer''': Oh my God.

* In ''Series/LarkRiseToCandleford'', Dorcas Lane has a tendency to describe whatever vice/indulgence she's about to enjoy -- fine food, fine baths, clothes, etc -- as "my one weakness."

--->'''Klinger:''' It was all just a misunderstanding; I would never try to bribe an officer! ({{beat}}) Ten bucks to forget the whole thing.

--->'''Charles''': I won it in a debate. "Should the U.S. permit more liberal immigration?" I, of course, took the negative. My family has had problems with immigrants ever since we came to America.

--->'''Frank''': The way I see it, unless we each conform, unless we obey orders, unless we follow our leaders blindly, there is no possible way we can remain free.

--->'''Frank''': (to an angry patient) There's a war on, and we've no time for violence!

'''Radar:''' (after signing) Sir, would you sign that I signed?\\
'''Henry:''' I'll sign that. (signs)

** In the episode "Mr. Monk and the Leper". When Monk overreacts to shaking hands with a leper (who turns out to have been a phony), Natalie has to talk him out of lighting his hand on fire, acting all calm and reasonable. Cut to later in the episode, when Natalie makes out with Dr. Aaron Polanski, an expert on leprosy, who knows the disease well because he reveals that he had the disease. She freaks out, drinking hot water directly out of her house faucet and telling Julie to fill a bathtub with Listerine. The next day, when Monk and Natalie go to Mandy Bronson's house to investigate, Monk is disturbed to see Natalie drinking a bottle of mouthwash:

** Also, in "Mr. Monk and the Voodoo Curse," Randy cites his astrological sign - a Pisces - as the reason he isn't superstitious.
** In "Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever," Monk has witnessed a gang shooting and is in WitnessProtection under Agent Grooms. On their way to the safehouse, they stop at the general store to stock up on supplies, and Agent Grooms tells Monk, Natalie and Stottlemeyer to not do anything that could draw attention to themselves.....while he's wearing a very conspicuous three-piece suit. [[LampshadeHanging Natalie even lampshades it]].

** "I! WOULD PUT A TAX! ON ALL PEOPLE! WHO'D STAND! IN WATER! [[LampshadeHanging WHOA!"]]

** The Argument Clinic sketch 'ends' when a policeman named [[SmithOfTheYard Inspector Thompson's Gazelle of the Yard]] arrives to arrest the whole show on three counts: BreakingTheFourthWall, "Always saying it's so-and-so of the yard whenever the fuzz arrives" and getting out of using a {{Punchline}} by "[[ExplainExplainOhCrap simply ending every bleeding sketch by just having a policeman come in and... Wait a minute...]]" (this immediately causes him to be arrested as well).

--->'''Statler''': What is THAT?!\\
'''Waldorf''': Looks like two ancient old guys sitting in a theatre box watching television!\\
'''Statler''': That's crazy! [[WhoWouldWantToWatchUs No one would watch junk like that]]!

* In an episode of Series/{{My Name Is Earl}}, Joy tells [[ManChild Randy]] he needs to get a job and start acting like an adult...right before turning around and yelling at her husband for stealing gummy worms from her trick-or-treat bucket.

-->'''Dick''': So I was driving down the freeway the other day, and I cut somebody off, no big deal. The next thing I knew, this woman is honking and [[FlippingTheBird flipping me the birdie finger.]] If I hadn't waved my gun, who knows what she would've done! I'm tellin' ya, folks, she was ''crazy''.

* In the ''Series/TheOffice'' episode "Business School" a bat is loose in the office, Creed suggests killing it, Kelly tells him not to kill it because it's a living thing with feelings and a family, seconds later when it flies toward her she yells "Kill it! Kill it!".

''(Finch gives her an AsideGlance.)''
* ''Series/PowerRangersSPD'' has this in the episode "Perspective", where Commander Cruger is asking the rangers to tell him about their most recent battle due to the satellite surveillance footage being disrupted. Red Ranger Jack goes first, corrupting the story with his own vanity. Blue Ranger Sky attempts to retell the story accurately, but makes the same mistake.
-->'''Jack''': Someone is a victim of their own imagination.
** In the earlier episode "Idol", Jack is left in charge of SPD while Commander Cruger is away. An alien ship enters Earth's atmosphere, and Bridge repeatedly attempts to warn Jack, who refuses to be interrupted as he is talking. When the other rangers finally get his attention and tell him about the incoming threat, he admonishes Bridge for "waiting until the last minute" to tell him.

-->'''Shawn''': You've seen ''Series/TheMentalist'', right?\\
'''Rob''': Yes.\\
'''Shawn''': It's like that.\\
'''Gus''': Except that guy's a fake.\\
'''Shawn''': Right. If I was a fake psychic, it would be eerily similar.\\
'''Gus''': Exactly the same.\\
'''Shawn''': [[TakeThat A virtual carbon copy.]]

--->'''Rimmer''': Who'd want to read ''your'' diary? It's full of puerile nonsense about Kristine Kochanski.\\
'''Lister''': Ah, so you ''have'' read my diary.\\
'''Rimmer''': Yes, but at least I had the common decency to do it sneakily behind your back.
* ''Radio/RoyalCanadianAirFarce'':
** In the April 14 2000 episode, Vera asks her friends at the donut shop if they got their Lotto 649 tickets for the week. Charlie gets upset and says that lotteries are a tax on the stupid, people have a better chance of getting hit by a bus than winning, and lotteries are for "lazy unmotivated people who don't want to do an honest day's work." Al asks how many tickets he bought, and Charlie replies, "The usual, six."
** In the March 31 2000 episode, John Morgan is on a commuter train and two of his fellow passengers start having loud conversations on their cell phones. He picks up an imaginary phone and starts having a pretend conversation about how he's "sitting in the middle of a couple of cell phone A-holes" and how obnoxious it is to talk on a cell phone in public. After the "cell phone A-holes" get up and leave, though, Morgan takes out an actual cell phone and makes a call of his own.
** In the November 18 1999 episode, Dave the Cabbie complains to a passenger that "there are too many immigrants coming over here and living off us hardworking Canadians!" Then he mentions that he has to pick up his welfare cheque after work.

** In the episode "The Jimmy", Jerry asked Kramer "Do you really feel the need to use a lot of obscenities at the dentist's office?" It's interesting because Jerry once used a [[Franchise/StarTrek colorful metaphor]] to describe how good his yogurt was.

** In the first part of ''The Bad Beginning'', Olaf's troupe complains about the meal the children made for them while still eating it.

--->'''Darius''': Why do you think someone like [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Martin_(Australian_politician) Steve Martin]] agreed to vote with us?\\
'''Shaun''': (as Creator/SteveMartin) Oh, I don't know, because he's a wild and crazy guy?\\
'''Darius''': Shaun, this is neither the time nor the place for terrible impressions.

-->'''Mrs. Hudson''': ...Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes.\\
'''Mycroft''': Oh, shut up, Mrs. Hudson!\\
'''Sherlock and John''': ''[In unison, outraged]'' MYCROFT!\\
'''Mycroft''': Apologies.\\
'''Mrs. Hudson''': Thank you.\\
'''Sherlock''': ''[To Mrs. Hudson]'' Though do, in fact, shut up.

-->'''Gabe''': ''(to a hipster that bumped into him)'' Faggot!\\
'''Claire''': Hey, shut up! My brother is a faggot.

-->'''Anna''': I was asking about pot. You know, marijuana.\\
'''Maria''': I know what pot is. So, you assume I'm a pothead, as well as a lesbian? Because all stage managers are pot-smoking lesbians, right?\\
'''Anna''': No! \\
'''Maria''': Well, I'm sorry to disappoint 'cha, but... I'm all out. This process has been hard on my stash, and my guy's out of town 'till Tuesday. Sorry.

-->'''Chloe''': [[ManOfSteelWomanOfKleenex I thought you said you couldn't...]]\\
'''Lana''': [[LightningCanDoAnything Normally, we couldn't, but...]]\\
'''Clark''': You guys talk about this?!\\
'''Lana''': What? It's just [[PlatonicLifePartners Chloe]].

--->'''Deanna''': What would you like your father to promise, Alexander?\\
'''Alexander''': No yelling.\\
'''Worf''': I DO NOT ... I do not yell.\\
'''Deanna''': [[SarcasmMode Well, then you should have no trouble with that part.]]

-->'''Malcolm:'''You know, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure you use up a lot more oxygen WHEN YOU SHOUT LIKE THAT!"

* Occurs many times on ''Series/TheSuiteLifeOnDeck''.

-->'''Malcolm''': Oh, and that's an incredibly homophobic headline you're running with, you massive poof.

--->'''Malcolm''': Don't you '''EVER''' call me a bully!\\

'''Malcolm''': I'm so much worse than that.

* ''Series/{{Victorious}}'': In ''Wi-Fi in the Sky'', when Trina asks the dad to don't let his son kick her seat, but he doesn't care.
-->'''Trina''': Some people are so rude!\\
'''Tori''': [Picks up the trash Trina put on her table some moments ago] I know!

-->'''[[Music/WeirdAlYankovic Al]]''': How awful! How heartless! How could anyone sink so low as to do a PARODY of another human being??
* ''Series/TheWestWing''
** They sometimes PlayedForLaughs the fact that much of the US population engages in this. At one point they quoted two opinion polls that demonstrated at least 14% of Americans think contributions to the UN are too high, and at the same time think it shouldn't be cut.[[note]]This is actually very easily duplicated, and is not as much a matter of hypocrisy as it is the result of asking leading questions. It's TruthInTelevision, as many polls are designed to get certain results to be used as propaganda.
** Then there's the sixth season's Democratic convention negotiations.[[/note]]
--->'''Leo''': This is the week when pull this party together and show the American people we can lead with integrity and maturity. Okay, the speaking order. Rock, Paper, Scissors on three.

--> '''Val:''' I can be spontaneous. Right now I'm going to come up with a list of spontaneous things to do. I'm gonna need some graph paper.

--->'''Karen''': Ok, ok, it's over. Now, listen to me. (gets out a pill) The first thing you have to do is admit that you have a problem. (swirls the pill in her martini) Because if you can't even recognize the signs... (drops the wet pill into her mouth) Then you are really in sorry shape. (washes down the pill)Oh, mmm! (to the martini glass) Why are you so good to me?

--->'''Karen''': Well, you know me. If there's one thing I cannot do, it is hurt another person's feelings.\\
'''Jack''': That is so true, Karen. You do have a kind heart.\\
'''Karen''': ''(pause)'' I'm sorry, honey. I don't what it is, but your faggy little voice is just going right through me today.

--->'''Grace''': You know what? You're never going to understand. I mean, the fact is, I'm tolerant. And you are... well, maybe a little bit racist.\\
'''Karen''': How dare you call me a racist! A homophobe? Maybe. Distrustful of Spaniards? Who isn't? But nobody calls me a racist. And you can ask anyone I own.
* ''Series/{{Wizards of Waverly Place}}'': The episode "First Kiss" gives one from Justin's goth girlfriend.

-->'''Adam''': If you don’t want to date me that’s fine – I get that. But you’re wrong and I hate you.\\
'''Adam''': Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean that its bad. Also, fuck you, everything you like sucks.\\
'''Adam''': (when Ders is riding on a mini-carousel in a drunken funk over turning 25) This is the saddest thing I've ever seen dude, you're not a child! (to Blake) Yo, do you have some more tokens, I wanna play Pop-Shot. I've got like the fourth highest score, I'm not gonna give up I'm not a quitter.

## Lister is turned off by his female counterpart [[TheLadette drinking six pints of lager and belching the whole of "Yankee Doodle Dandy."]] Rimmer points out the irony of this situation, as Lister is a complete slob himself.
## Rimmer is disgusted by his female counterpart groping him and making sexual advances on him. Earlier in the episode, Lister was chiding Rimmer on his chauvinistic sexual advances on various women.
## Rimmer's opposite makes the aforementioned sexual advances on Rimmer. When she finds out that the two Listers got drunk enough to [[ScrewYourself get in bed together]], she questions why one would make love to oneself.

* In ''Series/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'', in The Austere Academy Part 1, the Baudelaires encounter Carmelita Spats, an [[SpoiledBrat odious little girl]] whose go-to insult is the bizarre-sounding "cakesniffer." In The Austere Academy Part 2, when they sneak into the cafeteria at Prufrock Prep after hours, she's also there...literally sniffing a cake. [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything With white powdered sugar on it]].

* ''Series/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents2017'':
** In the first part of ''The Bad Beginning'', Olaf's troupe complains about the meal the children made for them while still eating it.
* ''Series/ShaunMicallefsMadAsHell'' has a few of these from [[TheAhnold Darius Horsham]]:
** In response to Shaun's joke about Senator Mathias Cormann that "[[LaymansTerms Plain English]] isn't his first language", Darius tells him, "You shouldn't make fun of the way people talk, Shaun."
** In the middle of a discussion about getting tax cuts past the senate crossbench:
-->'''Darius''': Why do you think someone like [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Martin_(Australian_politician) Steve Martin]] agreed to vote with us?\\
'''Shaun''': (as Creator/SteveMartin) Oh, I don't know, because he's a wild and crazy guy?\\
'''Darius''': Shaun, this is neither the time nor the place for terrible impressions.

** In the second episode of third season, Dexter is trying to track down the address of a recent murder victim; his searches take him to a sorority house during a party. When he asks two of the girl's sisters if they know her, they dismissively state that she's a "total ho bag". Then they ask Dexter if he's got any drugs. "We put out."

--->'''Rimmer''': Who'd want to read ''your'' diary? It's full of puerile nonsense about Kristine Kochanski.
--->'''Lister''': Ah, so you ''have'' read my diary.
--->'''Rimmer''': Yes, but at least I had the common decency to do it sneakily behind your back.

* In the second episode of ''Series/{{Dexter}}'''s third season, Dexter is trying to track down the address of a recent murder victim; his searches take him to a sorority house during a party. When he asks two of the girl's sisters if they know her, they dismissively state that she's a "total ho bag". Then they ask Dexter if he's got any drugs. "We put out."

** [[Recap/DoctorWhoS37E1TheWomanWhoFellToEarth "The Woman Who Fell to Earth"]]: When Yaz introduces herself as "PC Khan", the Doctor retorts that she asked for Yaz's name, not her title. This coming from someone who only ever introduces themselves with a title...

* In one episode of ''Series/DiagnosisMurder'', Community General Hospital's IT system is brought to its knees by a virus; Hospital Administrator Norman Briggs hires an IT engineer to restore the system and asks him to give the staff a lecture on proper computer usage to remind them that their computer terminals are not toys. At the end of the lecture, the engineer tells the crowd that the virus causing the problem is often found in copies of a particular computer game... which Norman has installed on his terminal.

-->'''Jack:''' "Kidz" is a hit the whole family can watch together, not your usual sitcom crap full of gratuitous vulgarity and pratfalls.\\

-->'''Liz:''' Hey, when this movie airs, can my name be the first credit that comes up at the end?\\

* The Creator/{{ITV}} documentary ''A-Z of Comedy'' had Ian Hislop doing S is for Satire, concluding that ultimately the message of satire is that nobody is above ridicule. His ''Series/SpittingImage'' puppet then pops up and goes into a routine making fun of him. The real Hislop's reaction is "That's pathetic! It doesn't even ''look'' like me!"

* Ms. Hushbaum, the Loud Librarian from ''Series/AllThat''?

--> '''Deacon Frye''': "Thelma, calm down! I know you're disappointed, but we have to call off the wedding! So what if I'm out $10,000. ''$10,000!'' (Grabs Reuben and starts shaking him the same way Thelma was) Wake up! Wake up! How could you do this to me!"
--> (Minister grabs the Deacon)
--> '''Minister:''' "Ernest, pull yourself together man! Money isn't everything!"
--> '''Deacon:''' "I'm glad to hear you say that, because if there's no wedding, you don't get paid!"
--> '''Minister:''' (grabs Reuben and starts shaking him) "Wake up! Wake up!"

-->'''Doyle''': It's not all about fighting and gadgets and such. It's about reaching out to people, showing them that there's love and hope still left in the world....
--> '''Homeless Woman''': (interrupting) Hey, spare change?
--> '''Doyle''': Get a job, you lazy sow!

-->'''Michael''': Some people are just impossible to have a conversation with.
-->'''Lucille''': If that's a veiled attempt to insult me, I didn't hear it, and I won't respond to it.

-->'''Penny''': What the hell's going on?
-->'''Sheldon''': (With genuine anger) You ''hypocrite''!
-->'''Penny''': What?
-->'''Sheldon''': Little Miss "grown-ups don't play with toys"! If I went into that apartment right now, would I not find Toys/BeanieBabies? Are you not an accumulator of Franchise/{{Care Bears}} and Franchise/{{My Little Pon|y}}ies? And who is that Japanese feline frolicking on your shorts? Hello, HelloKitty!

--->*someone knocks on the door*
--->'''Leonard''': Want to get that?
--->'''Sheldon''': Not particularly.
--->'''Leonard''': Could you get that?
--->'''Sheldon''': I suppose I could, if I were asked.
--->'''Leonard''': Would you please get that?
--->'''Sheldon''': Well, of course. *gets up to answer the door* Why do you have to make things so complicated?

-->'''Avon''': ''(on vox)'' Use your delicate, skillful touch.
-->''(Vila kicks the hatch open instead)''
-->'''Vila''': I used my delicate, skillful boot.

-->'''Santiago''': You handled this really well, Peralta, I take back what I said about you being immature.
-->'''Peralta''': Oh. Apology accepted, Fart-monster.

---> '''Xander''': Hogan Martin thinks he's sooooo hot. Like we should all be awed by him 'cause he can put a ball in the net.
---> '''Hogan''': Hey, Xander.
---> '''Xander''': He said my name. He knows my name.

* In ''Series/BreakoutKings'', in the episode "Cruz Control," the team is chasing a terminally ill escaped convict who is killing other criminals, and the team of [[BoxedCrook Boxed Crooks]] discusses whether they really should bother to catch him.
-->'''Erica''': Regardless of whom he's taking out, you can't appoint yourself judge, jury, and executioner.
-->'''Shea''': Good point. What's your tattoo stand for again? Wait, is that the Chinese symbol for "hypocrite"?
-->'''Erica''': Still got room for one more, Shea.
-->'''Shea''': Allegedly though, right?
** The humor is that the tattoo is in fact a series of hash-marks that Erica used to check off the men she allegedly murdered to avenge the murder of her father.

-->'''Martha''': ''[chuckling]'' You really are something, you know? You always think everything's about you. ''[Hands him a stack of leaflets]]'' Here.
-->'''Castle''': What are these?
-->'''Martha''': Oh, they're fliers for my play. I thought you could hand them out when you were signing books tomorrow.

---> '''Castle''': Some people just don't know how to behave on a date.
---> '''Beckett''': ''Especially'' on a first date.

-->'''Norm''': Woody you can't go sneaking out nights on someone you love! Woody you have to believe that truth-"
-->'''Carla''': "Norm your wife Vera's on the phone!"
-->'''Norm''': "I'm not here.(back to Woody)- and honesty are the cornerstones of a relationship!"

--->'''Barfly 1''': Hey isn't that that French guy who's trying to steal Woody's girlfriend?
--->'''Cliff''': Yeah, what a slimebag.
--->'''Barfly 2''': The man's got the morals of a snake.
--->'''Norm''': Can't believe he'd show his face in here.
--->'''Henri''': (smiles and waves) Hello fellows!
--->'''Norm and the others''': (very cheerfully) Hey Henri! How you doin'?

-->'''Britta:''' "Ow! Real mature." ''[She leaves]''\\
'''Senor Chang''': ''[Childishly]'' "That's right, we ''are'' mature! ''Too'' mature to sit in a class with a cheating lying poop-face!"\\

---> '''Annie:''' Stay back psychos! Or I'll slit your throats and bathe in your blood!

-->'''Oscar''': (''to Emma'') Your son is turning the gas station into a movie theatre!
-->'''Brent''': Keep in mind that Dad does have a tendency to overstate these things.
-->'''Oscar''': I've never overstated a single thing in the history of the planet!

* On ''Series/CrazyExGirlfriend'', Rebecca sings about how [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4hh1YhDfbA she's a good person]]...while ''threatening people with a knife''. "Say it! Say it or I'll kill your husband! I'll gut him like a fish!"

* ''Series/Daredevil2015'': In "World on Fire," Wilson Fisk tells the other crime lords that he killed Anatoly. He explains that they'll make Anatoly's brother Vladimir think the Devil of Hell's Kitchen was responsible, at least, until they are ready to make a move against him, saying "We all knew that we would need to eliminate the Russians one day. They were too unpredictable." This, as Leland Owlsley points out, coming from a man who just decapitated Anatoly with a car door [[DisproportionateRetribution because the guy interrupted his date with Vanessa]].

-->'''The Doctor:''' We're the most civilised civilisation in the universe. We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes.\\

** In the ForWantOfANail episode, [[TheOneWith The One That Could Have Been]], Rachel wishes her and her husband Barry were [[CallBack "on a break"]] so that she could sleep with Joey.

* In ''Series/FreaksAndGeeks'', Daniel tells Kim he's "just trying to be rational" about why Lindsay's parents would disapprove of her. Kim does not appreciate it.
-->'''Kim:''' Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off and throw it over that fence.

* ''Series/{{House}}'':
** When Greg House puts speed in Wilson's coffee to test if Wilson is on anti-depressants, Wilson is rather livid. Later in that episode comes the revelation that Wilson has been [[NotSoAboveItAll dosing House with anti-depressants]]. Wilson may have actually been angry at House for deliberately putting him at risk of dangerous medication interactions- but ''that'' becomes HypocriticalHumor when he follows up his rant with "give me a Vicodin before I have a stroke."
* In another episode he made a remark about feminists supposedly not shaving often enough.
** On multiple occasions, House has criticized someone for doing drugs immediately before popping a Vicodin pill.

-->'''Wilson:''' I've never been a proponent of the symbolic gesture, but Tim is your husband, and he is my neighbor. We should be happy.
-->'''Jill:''' ''(sigh)'' You're right.
-->''{{beat}}''
-->'''Wilson:''' ''A '''Ph.D.'''?! '''TIM'''?!''

-->'''Narrator Ted''': On the night of Stewart and Claudia's wedding, reality was the enemy.
-->'''Bridesmaid''': The Peace Corps?
-->'''Barney''': Yeah. I ship out tomorrow. Two Years. Some people say the Peace Corps is the most noble thing one can do. To those people I say, is it? And most of them say, yes it is.

-->'''Ted''': So, kids, Kathy couldn't stop talking. Can you imagine how awful that is?
-->'''Kids''': ...
** In "Okay Awesome," after Lily tracks Marshall down to a club he ditched their boring wine-tasting party to go to, we get this conversation:
--->'''Lily''': He just left! In the middle of our own party! You don't ''do'' that.
--->'''Robin''': ...
--->'''Lily''': Unless, of course, you're chasing after somebody who's already done it, and then...and then I think it's okay. *trails off*

** In "Belly Full of Turkey," Robin mocks Ted by pointing out that America is the world's leader in handgun violence. However, Ted DoesntLikeGuns while Robin owns several of them, subscribes to ''Guns and Ammo'', and goes to the firing range when she needs to blow off steam. In addition, she's actually ''threatened people with guns'' at least twice that we've seen (Gael's friends and a pair of thieves who tried to steal her TV) and suggested that Marshall do the same when he's afraid his boss will fire him.

--->'''Robin:''' [offended] So you dumped me as a patient so you could ''ask me out''?
--->'''Therapist:''' I'm not asking you out!
--->'''Robin:''' [disappointed] You're not asking me out?
* In ''Series/TheFlash2014'' episode "Flash vs. Arrow", [[Series/{{Arrow}} Oliver Queen]] visits Central City to ask for the help of Star Labs with some analysis. While that's happening, he decides to train Barry to be a better superhero. Before said training, he tells Barry that they'll have discuss his use of "silly code names" for his enemies. This is coming from the guy who regularly uses similar code names for his own enemies. Barry [[LampshadeHanging points this out]] by asking if the aforementioned discussion will be "over coffee with Deathstroke and The Huntress."

--->'''Carly''': Poor kid. It must feel bad to love someone who doesn't love you back.
--->'''Freddie''': (turns to stare at Carly)
--->'''Carly''': Sorry.

--->'''Spencer''': Hey guys, don't make me look guilty, like it was all my fault.
--->'''Carly, Sam, Freddie''': (ALL stare at Spencer)
--->'''Spencer''': Oh yeah.

--->'''Spencer''': Aw, I hate that channel! They always make adults look like buffoons!
--->'''Carly''': You forgot to wear pants.
--->'''Spencer''': Oh my God.

-->'''Toomey Impressionist:''' I'm Pat Toomey. Let me be perfectly clear where I stand on Donald Trump. I think he's a national embarrassment and a disgrace. [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs A disgraceful embarrassment]] who I am proud to support for President of the United States. Donald Trump is exactly what this country needs: [[BaitAndSwitch a man with no idea what he's talking about, a man with no respect for democracy or common decency. A man who is totally unfit for office.]] And I am proud to support him for office. ''[anti-Trump]'' You're not. ''[pro-Trump]'' Yes I am. ''[anti-Trump]'' Am not! ''[pro-Trump]'' Am so! ''[anti-Trump]'' Are not! ''[pro-Trump]'' Am too! ''[anti-Trump]'' Shut up! ''[pro-Trump]'' You shut up!
-->'''Narrator:''' When it comes to Donald Trump, Pat Toomey's position is clear.
-->'''Toomey Impressionist:''' Yes/no. ''[Both "yes" and "no" appear on the screen, overlaying each other]''
-->'''The real Pat Toomey:''' I'm Pat Toomey, and I approve this message.
-->'''Toomey Impressionist:''' You're not.
* ''Series/{{Jessie}}'': In "World Wide Web of Lies", Christina tells Jessie she has her under 24 hour surveillance and then complains about being under 24 hour surveillance herself by the paparazzi.
* ''Series/JessicaJones2015'': Jeri Hogarth's intro scene in season 2. She gives a rah-rah girl power speech to an audience of female lawyers, then after sitting down at a table to talk to her partners in private, claims that Pam lured her into a relationship by dressing provocatively.

* Robbie is one of the most active people in ''Series/LazyTown'' due to his schemes...despite said schemes revolving around making the tow's citizens lazy and unhealthy. {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d in one of the episodes where Sportacus points out how active the villain really is.
* ''Series/{{Life On Mars|2006}}'': While on a drug-related case with Sam, Gene admits that his brother was an addict and that he could never understand why. Sam mentions that addiction is usually a sign of something missing at home.
--> '''Gene''': Yeah, but me and 'im were brought up exactly the same. I'm not addicted. ''(Takes a drink from his hip-flask)''.

--->'''Henry:''' I don't want to sign anything, Radar. ''You'' sign it.
--->'''Radar:''' (after signing) Sir, would you sign that I signed?
--->'''Henry:''' I'll sign that. (signs)

-->'''Adrian Monk:''' Are you ''drinking'' that?\\

* The number of ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' sketches using HypocriticalHumor would probably fill a page all on its own.

--> Dear Sir, I object strongly to the letters on your programme. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

-->'''Mr Barnard:''' Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
-->'''Man:''' Yes, but that's not just saying "No it isn't."
-->'''Mr. Barnard:''' Yes it is!
-->'''Man:''' No it isn't!

-->'''Statler''': What is THAT?!
-->'''Waldorf''': Looks like two ancient old guys sitting in a theatre box watching television!
-->'''Statler''': That's crazy! [[WhoWouldWantToWatchUs No one would watch junk like that]]!

--> '''Dick''': So I was driving down the freeway the other day, and I cut somebody off, no big deal. The next thing I knew, this woman is honking and [[FlippingTheBird flipping me the birdie finger.]] If I hadn't waved my gun, who knows what she would've done! I'm tellin' ya, folks, she was ''crazy''.

** In the earlier episode "Idol," Jack is left in charge of SPD while Commander Cruger is away. An alien ship enters Earth's atmosphere, and Bridge repeatedly attempts to warn Jack, who refuses to be interrupted as he is talking. When the other rangers finally get his attention and tell him about the incoming threat, he admonishes Bridge for "waiting until the last minute" to tell him.

-->'''Shawn''': You've seen ''Series/TheMentalist'', right?
-->'''Rob''': Yes.
-->'''Shawn''': It's like that.
-->'''Gus''': Except that guy's a fake.
-->'''Shawn''': Right. If I was a fake psychic, it would be eerily similar.
-->'''Gus''': Exactly the same.
-->'''Shawn''': [[TakeThat A virtual carbon copy.]]

--> '''Mrs. Hudson''': ...Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes.
--> '''Mycroft''': Oh, shut up, Mrs. Hudson!
--> '''Sherlock and John''': ''[In unison, outraged]'' MYCROFT!
--> '''Mycroft''': Apologies.
--> '''Mrs. Hudson''': Thank you.
--> '''Sherlock''': ''[To Mrs. Hudson]'' Though do, in fact, shut up.

-->'''Gabe''': ''(to a hipster that bumped into him)'' Faggot!
-->'''Claire''': Hey, shut up! My brother is a faggot.

* ''Series/ShakeItUp'' is full of these:
** In "Meatball It Up", Flynn complains about [=CeCe=] and Rocky swimming in the money they got from the bank; however, the girls catch him trying to steal half of the money.
** Rocky is a LoonyFan of Justin Starr and throughout "Age It Up" keeps obsessing over him and trying to have him all for herself. When it is revealed in the end that [[ReallySeventeenYearsOld he is really 24 and married to his manager]], what is her reaction? "I knew there was something about you the moment I first saw you, which is the reason why I was never that big of a fan".
** In "Party It Up", [=CeCe=] and Rocky blackmail Ty and Deuce into covering for them while they sneak out to Gary Wilde's party by threatening to expose them for hijacking a golf cart. Later, Flynn finds out and shakes each of them down for 20 bucks.
-->'''[=CeCe=]:''' I can't believe I'm being blackmailed by my own brother!
-->'''Deuce:''' [[LampshadeHanging Really? You didn't have a problem in the concept of what you were doing to us.]]

-->'''Chloe''': [[ManOfSteelWomanOfKleenex I thought you said you couldn't...]]
-->'''Lana''': [[LightningCanDoAnything Normally, we couldn't, but...]]
-->'''Clark''': You guys talk about this?!
-->'''Lana''': What? It's just [[PlatonicLifePartners Chloe]].

* ''Series/StargateSG1'' gives us a relatively subtle example with a Chinese ambassador attending a meeting at Stargate Command. During a recess, he disapproves of the US' secrecy concerning the Stargate, then says with absolutely ''no irony'', "The Chinese government does not believe in keeping secrets from its people." Nobody comments on that, save for a disbelieving glance from the Russian general standing right behind him.

--->'''Malcolm:'''You know, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure you use up a lot more oxygen WHEN YOU SHOUT LIKE THAT!"

-->'''Uriel (an angel):''' How dare you come in this room... [[FantasticRacism you pussing sore]].
-->'''Alastair (a demon):''' Namecalling. That hurt my feelings... [[TheFundamentalist you sanctimonious fanatical prick]].
* ''Series/{{Succession}}'': Connor is always telling his fractious family members that he "doesn't take sides." In one episode, his sister Shiv calls him during a crisis to get some information. He doesn't help her, but offers some useless moral support by saying, "You know I never take sides... but I'm on your side." She rolls her eyes and hangs up on him.

--->'''Malcolm''': Don't you '''EVER''' call me a bully!
---> (beat)
--->'''Malcolm''': I'm so much worse than that.

--->'''Trina''': Some people are so rude!
--->'''Tori''': [Picks up the trash Trina put on her table some moments ago] I know!

-->'''Leo''': This is the week when pull this party together and show the American people we can lead with integrity and maturity. Okay, the speaking order. Rock, Paper, Scissors on three.

-->'''Karen''': Ok, ok, it's over. Now, listen to me. (gets out a pill) The first thing you have to do is admit that you have a problem. (swirls the pill in her martini) Because if you can't even recognize the signs... (drops the wet pill into her mouth) Then you are really in sorry shape. (washes down the pill)Oh, mmm! (to the martini glass) Why are you so good to me?

--->'''Karen''': Well, you know me. If there's one thing I cannot do, it is hurt another person's feelings.
--->'''Jack''': That is so true, Karen. You do have a kind heart.
--->'''Karen''': ''(pause)'' I'm sorry, honey. I don't what it is, but your faggy little voice is just going right through me today.

--->'''Grace''': You know what? You're never going to understand. I mean, the fact is, I'm tolerant. And you are...well, maybe a little bit racist.
--->'''Karen''': How dare you call me a racist! A homophobe? Maybe. Distrustful of Spaniards? Who isn't? But nobody calls me a racist. And you can ask anyone I own.

--->'''Adam''': If you don’t want to date me that’s fine – I get that. But you’re wrong and I hate you.
--->'''Adam''': Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean that its bad. Also, fuck you, everything you like sucks.
--->'''Adam''': (when Ders is riding on a mini-carousel in a drunken funk over turning 25) This is the saddest thing I've ever seen dude, you're not a child! (to Blake) Yo, do you have some more tokens, I wanna play Pop-Shot. I've got like the fourth highest score, I'm not gonna give up I'm not a quitter.

--> "In politics you have to learn to say things with tact and finesse, you berk!"