History Funny / YuGiOhGXTheAbridgedSeries

* "But what I have doesn't need to be in my Deck! For I have the power of George Michael!" Cue "Flawless (Go to the City)".

* Blair and the [[ThisIndexTouchesItself strange things]] involving Zane's cards.

* [[SeriousBusiness "Poetry is always important!"]]
* "Never again am I staying up till four in the morning watching tutorials on how to build a pancake helicopter!"

* This:

* Your caller can not continue the conversation as they are just too rich

* This Call Back
-->'''Jaden''': How the hell did I find a boat so fast?

* Jaden's lengthy insult towards Chazz.
-->'''Jaden''': Get bent Chazz you no good egocentric big tempered money loving Ojama humping butt munching asshole!
* This:
-->'''Crowler''': Didya see that Chanceller? Didya? Didya? Didya?

* "I'm a Syrus fangirl! Let's pair you up with Chumley!"

* Syrus hearing Jaden's voice in his head, and including the time Jaden got drunk and thrown out of a bar.

* Jaden's... questionable remark when he spots Syrus running away:

* After Crowler reads Jaden's letter...
-->'''Crowler''': Why this sounds like a marvelous idea! I'll get this through right away!
-->'''Jaden''': Really?
-->'''Crowler''': [[SoundEffectBleep F*ck]] no! *Rips up the letter*
-->'''Jaden''': Oh god why?

* This bit:

* Alexis getting Bastion's name wrong calling him, in order: ''Batman'', Bathtime, Bastard and [[OddNameOut John]]

** That said, Syrus's epic rapping... followed by Jaden's not so epic rapping. Even better when you consider that ShadyVox (the voice of Jaden) [[HilariousInHindsight actually makes money writing and recording songs, including rap.]]

-->'''Jaden''': Aaaah, pen and paper is inconvenient because...?

-->1. "When I said I wanted a clean deck, I meant a new deck of new cards."
-->2. "Why, why the hell would you clean paper cards with water?"
-->3. "Even if you made points 1 and 2 somehow plausible, why, oh God why, would you clean them in the freaking ocean?"
** And her response?:
-->'''Alexis''': Tee hee, you have a funny voice!

* This bit:

-->'''Jaden''': ...only made things worse and it was rumored that Chazz and Bastion had a gay relationship and no-one believed him because...
-->'''Jaden''': ...think about dating and Syrus was convinced that he was pregnant and then made us go to the emergency room where... Wh-Where the heck are we?

* This:

* This:
-->'''Jaden''': Fine, I end my turn. You big dick.

--> '''Fontaine:''' Alright, this might make your eyes water.
--> '''Crowler:''' [[TemptingFate Oh, come on. I'm a big bo-]] *Gets a NeckSnap from Fontaine, leading to zoom out from the hallway, to outside the academy, to the entire island* ''[[TheScream JEEEE-SUUUUSS]] [[DistantReactionShot CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!]]''
--> '''Jaden:''' Are you feeling any better?
--> '''Crowler, with comically oversized ear:''' No. I've just deafened myself and now my ears are swollen!

-->'''Duel Giant''': I'll be taking those. You're lucky you cards are all I'm taking... and your wallet.
-->'''Obelisk Student''': [[BigWhat WHAT?]] You can't have my wallet!

* "When you wake up, you'll be in a strange place. This card will help you." "There is NO scenario in which this card will be useful...wait, did you just say 'wake up'?" *gets knocked out cold with a brick*

-->'''Chazz:''' It's okay, I had some sea water!
-->'''Tim:''' [[ViolationOfCommonSense ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME!?]]

-->{{Beat}}

* "Because that's what friends do, we take advantage of your weakness, and then exploit it to make ourselves feel better. And then, we have the self-confidence to say, "Hey. Syrus. I'm better than you."

-->'''Zane''': No, you were not about to win. Because he had this card.

* Crowler: [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer {Actual 4Kids Dialogue}]] Poor little Syrus. He'd be the weakest link on a plate of sausages. [[LampshadeHanging Wait...what?]]

* Alexis's [[BuxomBeautyStandard huge buns]].

-->'''Jaden:''' I- it's like he's trying to tell me something I know it!

* "Aw bollocks, me cards are wet."
* Spinning the opponent into submission.

-->'''Jaden''': No! He hasn't LEARNED YET!
* "Who the hell jumps off a thirty foot building on to my car!?"

-->'''Jaden''': You don't understand. I've tried trading it, I've tried selling it, I've tried yelling at it, I've tried mailing it to Australia. The damn thing is like Droopy, Syrus. It always ''finds me!''

-->'''Alexis''': Hello.

* Blair and the [[ADateWithRosiePalms strange things]] involving Zane's cards.

-->'''Chumley:''' Naw, dawg, it all good.

-->''(Queue another giant explosion)''

-->''([[CurbstompBattle Queue Briar immediately losing the duel and collapsing]])''

** The fact that he freely throws it at the giant's face and [[spoiler:ends up getting it back.]]
* And right before that after Jaden voices his suspicions:
-->'''Bastion''': But seriously, he's no duelist. I know him. We play ''chess''.
* Jaden's rant:
-->'''Jaden''': No! I don't care! I knew it was you guys all along! I even said- I did say it was those guys Syrus.

-->'''Bryan''': That's impossible!
-->'''Boregarde''': How did he know?!
-->'''Bryan''': I said take them (the jackets) off dammit!
-->'''Jaden''': Everybody knew! You would have to be a friggin' moron to not guess it were you two! Seriously! Why does this crap always happen here?! Yesterday it was tennis! Today it's a duel giant! Tomorrow it's Tarzan! This place is crazy! I quit.

* This exchange:

-->'''Jaden''': ''What''? Wanna say that again?! You wanna repeat that?! You [[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]]ing prick?! ''Huh''?! You wanna [[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]]ing start something?! C'mon, let's go, three on three, Red versus Blue, no camp kills, we'll ''[[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]] you up''!
-->'''Ted''': J-just calm down, guys -

-->'''Jaden''': ''Me too''.
-->'''Blues''': ''(run)''
-->'''Jaden''': Yeah, that's right! You better [[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]]ing walk away. You blue bastards! Huh! ''Huh?!'' ''({{Beat}})'' I wonder what those blue bastards were talking about.

-->'''Jaden''': ''(still whispering)'' I don't like you,

-->'''Jaden''': Dude, if you randomly appear on me one more time, I'm going to hurt you. I'll go first, draw!
-->'''Kuriboh''': *Kuriiiii*

* Trying to get Beauregard to admit to being the duel giant:
-->'''Jaden''': DUEL! YOU! ME! NOW! TRIANGLES!

-->'''Tori''': ''[[OverlyLongGag (Crashes through door)]]'' Okay, I think I'm okohmygod! ''(smash)'' Why would you have two doors there?!

-->'''Dog''': ''(growls)''
-->'''Jaden''': [[BrickJoke OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN!]]

* Jinzo accidentally staying on the boat.
** "Martini, sir?" "Oh, yes please."
* The forest bit, where Jaden keeps going off screen.

-->'''Jaden''': Oh, you watch me! I'll get this guy faster that that time I was invited to Crowler's birthday party and everybody got out the... (Goes off screen) ...only made things worse and it was rumored that Chazz and Bastion had a gay relationship and no-one believed him because... (Goes off screen) ...think about dating and Syrus was convinced that he was pregnant and then made us go to the emergency room where... Wh-Where the heck are we?
* Jaden thinking Tori is dead.

-->'''Jaden''': Don't. Be. Silly. Of scourse I don't think Chumley is gay!

-->'''Jinzo''': Uhhh, okay. (Picks up chainsaw and revs it)
-->'''Jaden''': Actually, let's have a duel.
-->'''Jinzo''': Awww.
-->'''Syrus''': Awww. Kick his ass Jinzo!

* ECTOPLASMA!

-->'''Jinzo''': Funny, that's your momma's nickname for me!
-->'''Syrus''': Oh no he di'nt!
* "Electricity makes me visible! ...somehow."

* Harrington meets Alexis:
--> "She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! I can feel my heart swelling and getting bigger! And by my heart, I mean my ''penis''..."
* Crowler in the nurse's office.

--> '''Crowler:''' [[TemptingFate Oh, come on. I'm a big bo-]] *Gets a NeckSnap from Fontaine, leading to zoom out from the hallway, to outside the academy, to the entire island* ''[[TheScream JEEEESUUUUSS]] [[DistantReactionShot CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!]]''

--> '''Jaden''': What does that- ''(smack)'' Owwwwww...

* After the duel

-->'''Crowler''': Hahah, [[SoundEffectBleep F*ck]] no! Ahahahaha!

* Actual 4kids dialogue:
-->'''Jaden''': Hey, he's got a duel disk! Either that or a really funny-looking banana.

* "That's the Magic of TV Convenience!"
* When Jaden draws a card that gives him the upper hand in the duel.
--> '''Jaden''': This is exactly the card I need to spank that monkey! ...Heheheheh.
*
-->'''Doc''': Oh please, all the monkey did was make a mistake,

-->'''Jaden''': ''(off screen)'' Oh go to Hell Syrus!!

* Jaden's lines during the duel in general hit pretty well.
-->'''Jaden''': Talk about bestiality! Heheheh.

-->'''Jaden''': Now give Back Jasmine before I assert my dominance! (''Beat'') [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Giggity.]]
* At the start of the duel Jaden tries to guess what kind of deck Wheeler would be using, guessing decks that would be fun to duel with. Then Wheeler throws down Berserker Gorilla.
* Jaden looking all mad while the doc walk past him twice:
-->'''Doc 1''': Don't try to stop us. We are scientists, we have the ability to make time paradoxes.
-->'''Doc 2''': I agree. That's a very good argument, I think you should pay attention to what he says.
-->'''Jaden''': What the hell?

-->''(cocks gun)''

-->'''Jaden''': Gee, Professor, you wanna reveal the whole freakin' season to us as well?! ''(boom)'' Aaaah ahaha ow, yeah I deserved that.

-->'''Tori''': ''[[OverlyLongGag (crashes through door)]]''' Okay, I think I'm okohmygod! ''(smash)'' Why would you have two doors there?!

* After Jaden gets too close...
-->'''Jaden''': Ow my pancreas!
-->'''Syrus''': Take that you friggin' looney!

* We like to refer to this as the '[[ButtMonkey Jaden Ownage]]' episode. Remember. Never play 'Nuts On The Table'. Professor Banner required 17 stitches. Syrus had filed for a restraining order. His court case is in October.

* Syrus's epic rapping... and Jaden's not so epic rapping. Even better when you consider that Shadyvox actually makes his money with writing and recording songs, including rap. Just google Stronger by Shadyvox, it makes this HilariousInHindsight.

* "Okay! I get it! You have a boner for math!"

-->'''Chazz''': Who said that? Who the [[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]] said that?
-->'''Guy''': Duhhh it was me. ''(phage yellow arrow pings in)''

-->'''Jaden''': ''(genuinely shocked)'' What?!
-->'''Syrus''': Oh no, he di'nt!
* "Duuuuude, you have so lost your security deposit."
* After Syrus knocks Jaden off his paint platform:

-->'''Bastion''': Limey?! How dare you! *punches Jaden*
-->'''Jaden''': Ah! Ok. Mild racism. Got it.

-->'''Alexis''': Tee hee you have a funny voice!
-->'''Bastion''': That's it, I can't take it any more!(reveals dynamite strapped to his chest and explodes.)

* "Water water everywhere [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!

-->'''Crowler''': [[SoundEffectBleep F*ck]] no! Ahahahaha!

-->'''Crowler''': Yeah? Well, It sucks to be you!

--> '''Jaden''': [[BerserkButton WHERE THE]] [[SoundEffectBleep F*CK]] [[BerserkButton ARE MY CHEETOS?!]]

* After an unnecessarily long story about dissecting a worm:
--> {{Beat}}
-->'''Crowler''': Why the hell did we even accept you?

* Jaden: [[HoYay What if I kiss you?]]

-->''gun cocks''

-->'''Captain (over pa system)''': This is your captain. If you look to your left you'll see your home for the next four years, filled with shadow riders, a white dorm, alternate universes and the main character turning inexplicably evil.
-->'''Syrus''': Did that guy just ruin 4 whole seasons?

-->'''Guy''': Ruined four what now?

-->'''BGM''': Absolutely Flawless...

-->'''BGM''': Absolutely-

-->'''Others''': Elite-sounding laughter

-->'''Others''': "Ahhh..." "That sucks." "Did someone take my beans?"
* '''Computer''': Choosing battle music. (Barbie Girl plays and then stops) I apologize, that isn't my music. I don't know how it got there. My sister came over on the weekend and uploaded her songs into my database. Sincere apologies. I swear to God, I don't listen to that stuff. I like Foo Fighters. They're cool. Choosing new battle music.

** Which is followed up by his dad's appearance: "Has anyone seen my son around here? Whiny little putz."

--->'''Alexis:''' Well excuse me for being open.

* Narrator: And so after a ridiculously short duel the Alexis and Syrus shipping began.

* "[[CaptainObvious Syrus]], we can play state the obvious later..."
* Shortly, after getting the hell out of there...

-->'''Syrus''': You sound like my mother!

* Jaden's stunned reaction to Syrus traumatizing childhood
* After their duel:

--> '''Jaden''': Man I hate these submission forms. Hmm..."reasons I want to duel Zane..." He's a Douche...and I bet he smells bad too.

* whenever Zane is seen brooding by the pier:

* "Don't you even ''dare'' try to run away from me Syrus, you can't win. I've been playing [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic]] all day!" ''(video game sound as he jumps on the "perfect raft")'' "Holy crap, this raft sucks!"

--> '''Sparkman''': 'Yer talkin' shit!

--> '''Burstinatrix''': Two!

-->'''Jaden:''' {{Beat}}

-->'''Jaden''': (mockingly) "Shut up Jaden." That's Dimitri, that's what he sounds like.

-->'''Jaden''': "Diminitri would never blah blah blah."

-->'''Jaden''': My name's Dimitri and I suck balls.
-->'''Dimitri''': *Breaks out of his Yugi impersonation* I don't even sound anything like that!

-->'''Dimitri:''' *copying Jaden* Yo what's up dog?
-->'''Jaden:''' Oh, Jesus Christ...

-->'''Jaden:''' I DON'T EVEN SOUND ANYTHING LIKE THAT!

-->'''Jaden:''' {{Beat}} {{Gilligan Cut}} Well, we got Yugi's deck back and Dimitri's in the hospital! Everything turned out great!

-->'''Jaden:''' {{Beat}} Fu-

-->'''Guy''': Duh, you're not the best!

-->'''Guy''': Duh it was me. ''(phage yellow arrow pings in)''

-->'''Jaden''': ''(genuinely shocked)''' What?!

-->'''Syrus:''' Me, Syrus!

-->'''Syrus:''' Frieeeeend-uh!

-->'''Bastion''': That's because we never TALK!

-->'''Jaden''': Yeah well I didn't struggle fitting into his momma.
-->'''Dimitri''': E- Excuse me.
-->'''Jaden''': I. Plowed. Your. Mother.

-->'''Dimitri''': I don't even sound anything like that!
* There's also this exchange:
-->'''Dimitri:''' Would Dimitri summon the almighty Dark Magician of Chaos?
-->'''Jaden:''' Oh, you mean that banned ca- the card that's banned? Dark Magician of Chaos? Yeah, the one that Yugi ''wouldn't'' summon cause he knows it's banned? Yeah, Dimitri ''would'' summon that card, because Dimitri's a f''bleep''kin' idiot!
-->'''Dimitri:''' ''{{beat}}'' Well, would Dimitri summon Kuriboh in attack mode?
-->'''Jaden:''' Yeah he would, cause Dimitri's a f''bleep''kin' idiot!

* Meanwhile at the tool shed...

* Meanwhile in the tool shed... At Night! Oooooo.

-->'''Narrator''': So to clarify: everytime I say "tool shed", [[RunningGag I get a watermelon.]]

-->'''Narrator''': Okay then, let's do this! Meanwhile, in the tool shed! Hahaha! It's good to be back!

-->The next day. ''({{Beat}})'' ...[[RunningGag Tool shed.]]
--> Ugh. Someone get him a watermelon please.
--> Yes!

* After another trip to the hospitaltoolshed...
-->DAMN IT!

* Meanwhile, at Duel Acadatoolshed!
-->Oh come on, that one didn't count!

* The narrator is back:
-->'''Narrator''': So to clarify: everytime I say "tool shed", I get a watermelon.
-->'''Guy''': ''(sigh)'' Yes. Yes, you do.
-->'''Narrator''': Good. Then that's one watermelon please!
-->'''Guy''': But--! ''(sigh)'' Fine.
-->'''Narrator''': Okay then, let's do this! Meanwhile, in the tool shed! Hahaha! It's good to be back!

-->The next day. ''({{Beat}})'' Tool shed.

-->'''Bastion''': Because I got it from your Momma.

-->'''Tim:''' [[WhatAnIdiot And your first thought was to EAT it!?]]

* Alexis's [[BuxomIsBetter huge buns]].

* Hell Bastard... and brothers! "Hey Bob." "Hey Jerry." "Hey Jim." What's new?" "Oh you know, the usual." '''"We don't have fatherrrrrs!"'''

--> '''Burstinatrix''': Awright, you get home NOW!

--> '''Avian''': You weren't really gonna torch our balls off, were you?

-->'''Jaden''': You got any other obvious things you wanna point out?
-->'''Syrus''': You're a dick.

* Any time Zane is scene brooding by the pier:

-->'''Syrus''': [[SoundEffectBleep f*ck]] you! That's why!

-->'''Jaden''': You don't understand. I've tried trading it, I've tried selling it, I've tried yelling at it, I've tried mailing it to Australia. The damn thing is like droopies, Syrus. It always ''finds me!''

-->'''Jaden''': Let's go find a big person and tell someone!

--> '''Jaden''': [[BerserkButton WHERE THE [[SoundEffectBleep F*CK]] ARE MY CHEETOS?!]]

-->'''Chazz''': Uh- b- y- FUCK YOU JADEN!

--> '''Jaden''': [[BerserkButton WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY CHEETOS?!]]

-->'''Syrus''': [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you!]] That's why!

-->'''Crowler''': FUCK NO! *Rips up the letter*

-->'''Syrus''': Fuck you, that's why!

-->'''Crowler''': FUCK NO!

-->'''Chazz''': Who said that? Who the fuck said that?

-->'''Crowler''': [[RunningGag FUCK NO!]]! Ahahahaha!

-->'''Jaden''': ''What''? Wanna say that again?! You wanna repeat that?! You fucking prick?! ''Huh''?! You wanna fucking start something?! C'mon, let's go, three on three, Red versus Blue, no camp kills, we'll ''fuck you up''!

-->'''Jaden''': Shut the fuck up, Ted! We're all pumped! We're ready to fucking go! ''Let's do this!''

-->'''Jaden''': Yeah, that's right! You better fucking walk away. You blue bastards! Huh! ''Huh?!'' ''({{Beat}})'' I wonder what those blue bastards were talking about.

-->'''Jaden''': No, nononononononononono. Chumley. What the fuck. Is that your gimmick? You think you're funny? ''Huh?'' You fat fuck. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Look me. In the eye. And say one sentence.]] ''(whispers)'' One sentence.

-->'''Jaden''': ''What the fuck do you want from me?!''

-->'''Jaden:''' Get the fuck out of here, bitch.

* Crowler singing to the tune of "Staying Alive".

-->*Crowler gets beans in the face with a baseball*

* Bastion is late

* "Okay, who's getting a Crowler bitchslap?!"

--> *Clapping slows down*