History Funny / UrinatingTreeThisWeekInSportsballNFL2

* Eliminations are heralded with the logo being added as the severed head in the guillotine scene from ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedUnity''.

-->'''UT:''' ({{beat}} just after declaring the 49ers playoff eligible in the aftermath of Packers-Giants) So.... why aren't we moving to the playoff roundup? [[TemptingFate Did I miss something in the chaos?]] [''a musical stinger appears as Titans QB Will Levis successfully passes to Chigoziem Okonkwo to get a critical first down with less than four minutes remaining''] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh no]]!

* The Lions are up by 3 with just over a minute left, and Tree wants them to finish the Vikings off. Instead they go for a field goal and miss wide right:

'''UT:'''' No not like that! You were supposed to overcome shitty play calling, not reinforce it! Oh, if only this team had a defense to hold leads properly. The new question I'm asking: Are the Vikings going to end with 3 wins or 13?

* After the Falcons manage to not blow a 27-23 lead, Tree gives them small praise and tells them to get through the baby steps first in order to fully recover

* The "Hot Pockets" jingle is now also used for fumble recoveries that end in a touchdown.

--> Here lies Carolina - Overrhuled [[note]][[JustForPun A pun]] on Panthers head coach Matt Rhule whose disastrous tenure as coach led to him getting fired mid-season.[[/note]]

--> Here lies Pittsburgh - Canadian Bacon [[note]][[JustForPun Another pun]] on a coach’s last name this time referring to Steelers offensive coordinator Matt Canada who Tree had lambasted all season for his overly conservative playcalling.[[/note]]

* Tree decides the best way to describe the [[IdiotBall infamous QB draw the Cowboys ran with 14 seconds left on the clock and no timeouts]] is to edit the ''VideoGame/{{Sonic|TheHedgehog}}'' drowning music into the play footage, the death sound ringing out at the exact second Dak Prescott tries to spike the ball as the clock hits zero and the 49ers win.

!![[AC:NFL Week Seventeen (2022)]]
* Even though there was little to laugh about by the end of Week 17 in 2022 (see the [[TearJerker/UrinatingTree Tear Jerker]] and [[Heartwarming/UrinatingTree Heartwarming]] pages if you've been under a rock since before 2023 and don't know why), here's one thing. The epitath for the freshly-eliminated Washington Commanders: Skinned Red.

'''Caption:''' [[AC:Why is it the officials fucking suck so hard this year? Gamesmanship?]]\\

'''Caption:''' [[AC: There is no spoon]]\\
'''Caption:''' [[AC:There is no false hope]]\\
'''Caption:''' [[AC:Only warming reality]]\\

'''Caption:''' '''The refs nearly fucked up the spot of the ball, too'''\\
'''Caption:''' '''Why is it the officials fucking suck so hard this year? Gamesmanship?'''\\

''(screen begins shaking and turns red, sirens go off, caption reads Yinzer Mode Activated)''\\
'''UT:''' ''The Steelers are going to the Goddamn Super Bowl! All of these miracles don't pop up without divine intervention!'' '''(caption: Prepare the primanti's)''' ''This is a team of destiny!'' '''(caption: High end talent)''' '''They are going to the Super Bowl!''' ''(pounds desk)'' '''(caption: For the old man)''' ''And I will hear no counter-arguments!'' '''(caption: Worst-case scenario)''' '''(caption: Who fucking cares?)''' '''(caption: Stillers gahnta Super Bowl)''' ''My case is concrete!'' '''(caption: Embrace the madness)''' '''(caption: There is no spoon)''' '''(caption: There is no false hope)''' '''(caption: Only warming reality)''' ''The hope of this city will go streaking down the strip while terrible fucking towels tear us apart!'' '''(caption: insufferability increase tenfold)''' '''(caption: Indoctrinate the children)''' '''(caption: In Steeler football)'''

* While talking about the game between the Colts and Ravens, Colts quarterback Gardner Minshew does something that has only been done once since 2008.[[note]]Jimmy Garoppolo did it the season prior against the Broncos.[[/note]]

* While talking about the game between the Colts and Ravens, Colts quarterback Gardner Minshew does something that hasn't been done since 2008.

''[Minshew drops back to pass and inadvertently taps his foot out of bounds at the back of the endzone, a move accompanied by the "!" noise from VideoGame/MetalGearSolid as music from the game begins to play]]''\\
'''UT''': Oh, no, Gardner, what have you done?! You pulled an Orlovsky! Don't look into the eyes of hell, Gardner! ''[accompanied by [[Series/TheOfficeUS Michael Scott's]] BigNo]'' '''''GAAAAAAARDNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!'''''

--> Buffalo - Prepare the tables [[note]]Referring to the Bills mafia fanbase's...rather interesting tradition in breaking tables.[[/note]]

--->'''[=EmpLemon=]''': I'm sure come 2021, [''the Downward Spiral begins to fade in''] [[VoiceOfTheLegion the Jags will make the most of their top draft pick and get a solid franchise quarterback]]. [''[[WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles Lucius Best]] says "HA! Never heard that one before." as pictures of Blaine Gabbert and Blake Bortles appear''] Let's be honest though, the top two [=QBs=] in this draft[[note]]Clemson's Trevor Lawrence and Ohio State's Justin Fields[[/note]] are doomed to get completely ruined by these awful teams[[note]]The Jets and Jaguars respectively -- the Jags did take Lawrence in the following draft but the Jets selected BYU's Zach Wilson instead, with Fields going to Chicago at #11[[/note]] and ten years from now, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyle_Trask Kyle Trask]][[note]]Florida, from [=EmpLemon's=] hometown of Gainesville[[/note]] will be dominating the league after dodging all the dumpster fire franchises and [[SecondPlaceIsForWinners getting drafted by an actually decent organization in the late first round]]. I seriously don't understand why Jacksonville is even allowed to have a pro football team. We're literally the smallest major sports market in America. The NFL may as well have given the franchise to Bismarck, South Dakota. [''shows that [=EmpLemon=] meant North Dakota, but doesn't care to correct the mistake because he's sick of his team's ineptitude and just wanted to go back to watching NASCAR; cuts to pictures of very sparse stands at TIAA Bank Stadium''] The Jaguars don't even have limited-capacity seating at their home games, these are just all the people they can get to show up. Just like with WebVideo/YouTubeRewind [''shows the site's notice saying there won't be a 2020 Rewind interspersed with [[MemeticMutation Will Smith looking at his cell-phone and his laughter]]''], no-one would really be upset if they just took the rest of the Jags' season and cancelled it. They better hurry too, [''cuts to a single blood-splattered skeleton sitting on a Jaguars towel with a foam finger next to [=EmpLemon=]''] [[BlackComedyCannibalism we lost another quarter of the fanbase after I was forced to eat one of them for Thanksgiving]].

* Then after Washington wins, addressing accusations from Giants fans, players and coaches that the Eagles were tanking[[note]]Eagles head coach Doug Pederson (who would be fired a few days later) had benched starting quarterback Jalen Hurts for the entire fourth quarter of the game, signaling that the Eagles, who had already been elimated from playoff contention due to a loss to the Cowboys the week prior, had given up[[/note]]:

* Tree letting false hope consume him after the Steelers managed to eke out a shaky win over the snakebitten Browns:

-->'''UT''': I just realized I forgot the double Lolcow of the Week this week. This one's easy for me, it's Philadelphia! [''as Jalen Hurts throws a bad Red Zone interception''] Fucking trash-ass franchise can't do anything right if it was a Red Zone opportunity for Jalen Hurts. [''over an unsuccessful fourth down hail mary as the Eagles trailed 7-13 with mere seconds left in the game''] This opportunity to roast them was ''wide open'' but I dropped it like [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jalen_Reagor Reagor]]. [[SelfDeprecation Imagine living in Pennsylvania, that sounds embarrassing]].

--> ''(As Joe Haden tackles Nick Westbrook-Ikhine one yard short of the first down marker on fourth down, the victory tune from VideoGame/TheLegendOfZelda plays)''\\

'''Caption:''' '''Why is it the officals fucking suck so hard this year? Gamesmanship?'''\\

'''UT:''' ''The Steelers are going to the Goddamn Super bowl! All of these miracles don't pop up without divine intervention!'' ''(caption: Prepare the primanti's)'' ''This is a team of destiny!'' ''(caption: High end talent)'' ''They are going to the Super Bowl!'' ''(pounds desk)'' ''(caption: For the old man)'' ''And I will hear no counter-arguments!'' ''(caption: Worst-case scenario)'' ''(caption: Who fucking cares?)'' ''(caption: Stillers gahnta Super Bowl)'' ''My case is concrete!'' ''(caption: Embrace the madness)'' ''(caption: There is no spoon)'' (caption: There is no false hope)'' ''(caption: Only warming reality)'' ''The hope of this city will go streaking down the strip while terrible fucking towels tear us apart!'' ''(caption: insufferability increase tenfold)'' ''(caption: Indoctrinate the children)'' ''(caption: In Steeler football)''

-->'''UT:''' Fuck you fuck you fuck youfuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufu- (screen cuts to a [[WeAreExperiencingTechnicalDifficulties Technical Difficulties]] still from ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'')

--> Here lies Tennessee - Crumbling like their stadium [[note]]The Titans had a 7-3 record and were leading the AFC South only [[EpicFail to lose seven straight games]] and miss out on the playoffs to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Meanwhile, complaints have begun mounting over the state of disrepair of the Titans home stadium, with some estimates stating that renovating the stadium will cost nearly $2 billion.[[/note]]

(''Bengals go to make the PAT, but is blocked and the game goes to overtime'')\\

--> Baltimore - Can you hold a lead? [[note]]Referring to the Ravens blowing several double-digit 4th quarter leads this season.[[/note]]

--> Here lies Houston - The Tank of Tanks [[note]]Houston has the worst record in league of all teams this season, making them eligible to receive first pickings in next year’s draft, a process often referred to as “tanking”[[/note]]

--> Here lies Denver - Laughs in Seattle [[note]]Referring to the bevy of draft picks Denver traded to Seattle in order to get Russell Wilson in light of the Broncos extremely disappointing season this year.[[/note]]

--> Jacksonville - Grinding it Out! [[note]]In perhaps the complete opposite situation of Tennessee, Jacksonville started out with a 3-7 record before having a late season surge, which is highlighted by Trevor Lawrence's vast improvement, the complete turnaround in team culture with Super Bowl-winning coach Doug Pederson in the helm, and the team ultimately seizing the AFC South division title from the crumbling Titans themselves.[[/note]]
--> Seattle - Who Needs Wilson? [[note]]''Nobody'' could have ever thought that trading away longtime Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson to the Denver Broncos actually '''benefitted''' the team. Not only did they use the 2nd and 5th-round picks gained to get Pro-Bowlers and potential ROY candidates RB Kenneth Walker III and CB Tariq Woolen, but also experienced an unbelievable Cinderella story from longtime journeyman: Geno Smith; all of which resulted in them having a better record than last year and returning to the playoffs with the last Wild Card spot. As for Wilson though...(see the Note on "Here Lies Denver" above)[[/note]]

-->'''UT''': Pittsburgh was gifted a win they didn't really deserve and look incredibly unimpressive without being bailed out for their idiocy. You know my conclusion from this? [''speaking in a Yinzer accent''] Stillers gahnta Super Bowl! Stillers gahnta Super Bowl! Ya hear me, bitches? ['''Y[-INZER MODE ACTIVATED-]'''] THA STILLERS ARE GOIN TA THA SUPER BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!

--> Tampa Bay - Tom Brady Bullshit Lives! [[note]]The fact that not only has Tom Brady has never missed the playoffs as a starter, but the fact that he did it this year with a losing record in what is arguably the NFL's worst division.[[/note]]