History Funny / TurnCoat

* Every time Harry comes home, he finds some form of MexicanStandoff taking place between Morgan and Molly (and at one point Luccio), with Mouse being the only thing keeping it from escalating into deadly violence. The first time he's surprised. The second time he's furious, and the third time he just gets exasperated that they're at it ''again''. He even goes over and gets a drink before sitting down and sorting things out.

** Mouse immediately protests with a polite little "a-woof," prompting Harry to apologize and exempt him from that statement.

* Every time Harry comes home, he finds some form of MexicanStandoff taking place between Morgan and Molly (and at one point Luccio), with Mouse being the only thing keeping it from escalating into violence. The first time he's surprised. The second time he's resigned (he even goes over and gets a drink before sitting down and sorting things out) and the third time he just gets exasperated that they're at it ''again''.

** Even funnier, the sight of Molly in a tank top and short shorts with no bra (and freshly-chilled nipples) is apparently [[MaleGaze a pleasing sight]]. When Harry reacts with disgust, Morgan, who has been a thoroughly disagreeable old codger for the entirety of the series, tells him "I'm old, I'm not dead."

** "That's Doctor Smart-ass. [[AustinPowers I didn't go through 4 years of insult college to be called Mister]]."

** Bonus points: Harry asks how the hell Morgan found out about it, and he explains the entire Seelie court have been laughing about it for months, making it an ''in-universe'' CrowningMomentOfFunny as well.

* Morgan's reaction when he thinks Molly is going to use magic to get into the mind of a PI watching Harry's apartment (a big no-no in the Dresdenverse), but then she uses a totally different kind of [[DistractedByTheSexy "magic"]] to get information. Even funnier when Morgan is appreciative of the show she puts on, but Harry, who has known her since she was eight, is slightly {{Squick}}ed.

-->'''Harry''' Okay. He's right behind you.\\
'''Binder''' Dresden. We have a bit of banter going between us. We're both here in a moment where neither of us wants to act rashly. And that's all good fun. It's one of the little things that makes a day more enjoyable. But don't do me the incredibly insulting disservice of assuming that I'm a bloody moron.\\
'''Harry''' I'm not. He's about forty feet behind you. In a wheelchair.\\

'''Binder''' Dreseden. We have a bit of banter going between us. We're both here in a moment where neither of us wants to act rashly. And that's all good fun. It's one of the little things that makes a day more enjoyable. But don't do me the incredibly insulting disservice of assuming that I'm a bloody moron.\\

Morgan sat in his wheelchair about forty feet away from Binder, my shotgun in his hands.

* When Thomas beats up Madeline near the beginning he slams her by the ankle "smashing a 36-24-36 dent into the drywall".

** Bonus points: Harry asks how the hell Morgan found out about it, and he explains the entire Seelie court have been laughing about it for months.

* Harry talks Butters into tending Morgan's leg wound. Butters tells Harry to was up and put on some gloves, since Butters needs an extra pair of hands. Harry balks, and we get this:

'''Harry''': The A-Team?\\

---->"[[spoiler: Peabody]] may not have seen the man [[VoluntaryShapeshifting turn into]] [[EverythingsWorseWithBears a grizzly]], but he was bright enough to know that Injun Joe was getting set to adjust another relative ass-to-ears ratio."

---->"Peabody may not have seen the man [[VoluntaryShapeshifting turn into]] [[EverythingsWorseWithBears a grizzly]], but he was bright enough to know that Injun Joe was getting set to adjust another relative ass-to-ears ratio."

-->"Oh bite me, wizard boy," Butters said, his tone annoyed.

** The fact that Molly actually [[ActuallyPrettyFunny giggles]] at Morgan's comment is what makes it a CrowningMomentOfFunny for me

** The fact that Molly actually [[ActuallyPrettyFunny gigles]] at Morgan's comment is what makes it a CrowningMomentOfFunny for me

** "That's Doctor Smart-ass. I didn't go through 4 years of insult college to be called Mister."

** The fact that Molly actually [[ActuallyPrettyFunny gigles.]] at Morgan's comment is what makes it a CrowningMomentOfFunny for me

[[AC:Turn Coat]]

* The banter between Thomas and Harry.
-->'''Thomas''': Okay, so where are we going?\\
'''Harry''': Where they treat me like royalty.\\
'''Thomas''': We're going to Burger King?
* A minor one:
-->'''Harry''': "Stop. Occam time."
* A good example of Harry's wit is Murphy's speech (and Harry's response) about how the clandestine, supernatural meeting would not happen without her present.
-->'''Murphy''': "I’m going to be there as a moderating influence with your cooperation. Or we can do it the other way. Your choice, but I know a lot of cops who are sick and tired of this supernatural bullshit sneaking up on us."\\
'''Gard, warningly''': "Dresden."\\
'''Harry''': [[StayInTheKitchen "What? Once we gave them the vote, it went totally out of control."]]
** Made even funnier by the fact he's saying it to a ''Valkyrie''.
* Later, Harry is meeting the Archive at the aquarium:
-->A pair of dolphins swept by us in the water, flicking their heads to get a good look at us as they went. One of them made a chittering sound that wasn't very melodic. The other twitched its tail and splashed a little water our way, all in good fun. They weren't the attractive Flipper kind of dolphins. They were regular dolphins that aren't as pretty and don't get cast on television. Maybe they just refused to sell out and see a plastic surgeon. I held a fist up to them. Represent.
** The dolphins later help Harry against the villains, having apparently decided that he's the good guy.
* The "saving the world by asking for a doughnut" incident. [[SeriousBusiness Say it in your gravest, most Shakespearean voice.]]
-->'''[[spoiler:Eldest Brother Gruff]]:''' Likest thou jelly within thy donut?\\
'''Harry:''' Nay, but with sprinkles 'pon it, and frosting of white.
** And later, when he finds the donut in his car, still hot, Thomas asks him "Where did that come from?" He just smiles and keeps eating.
--->'''Thomas:''' You don't even explain the little things, do you?\\
'''Harry:''' [[CallBack It's like a drug]].
** For that matter, [[spoiler:Eldest Gruff's]] arrival.
--->''Thump. Thump. Thump.'' I adjusted the aim on the staff a little higher. ''Thump. Thump.'' Sweat trickled off my brow. ''Thump. Thump.'' How far did this guy have to walk? ''Thump. Thump.'' This was just getting ridiculous, now. ''Thump. Thump.'' And [[spoiler:Eldest Gruff appeared in the opening. [[ExpectingSomeoneTaller He was five feet tall. Five-two, tops.]]]]
* Harry's reaction to watching Kincaid click off his gun's safety and lay it across his chest before going to sleep.
-->'''Harry:''' How cute. He's got a teddy Glock.
* "I... I've never been hit on by a woman a hundred and fifty years older than me."
** His honest bewilderment through the conversation is -- and this is an adjective which no-one would ever attach to Harry Dresden -- adorable. He keeps ''stuttering''.
* On the same note, Thomas berating Harry for not realizing that Luccio was non-verbally hitting on him.
-->"Moron. Thank God Nicodemus is a man."
* When Harry is being rescued by Thomas at the and of the book, he makes a bunch of silly, petty complaints as Thomas respectively shoots Nicodemus's minions with a pistol at long range (''He doesn't even practice.''), hauls Harry up out of the water without any effort (''He doesn't even work out.''), and then walks back to the boat's wheelhouse, while looking awesome. (''He doesn't even moisturize.'')
* Everyone seems to forget Harry's Genius Escape Plan that had me crying from laughter
--> Miss Gard brought the reconditioned Huey up from the eastern side of the island, flying about a quarter of an inch over the treetops, blasting "''The Ride of the Valkyries''"
** Oh, and it had a ''Minigun!''