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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
'''Hector:''' The last time you spoke to me like this, you were ten years old and you had just stolen father's horse. '''''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck What have you done now?]]'''''
to:
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* This exchange right before Paris reveals he secretly brought Helen with them to Troy. Hector's expressions (especially the ''massive'' OhCrap face when he finds out) are just glorious.
--> '''Paris:''' Do you love me, brother? Will you protect me from any enemy?\\
''({{beat}})''\\
'''Hector:''' The last time you spoke to me like this, you were ten years old and you had just stolen father's horse. '''''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck What have you done now?]]'''''
--> '''Paris:''' Do you love me, brother? Will you protect me from any enemy?\\
''({{beat}})''\\
'''Hector:''' The last time you spoke to me like this, you were ten years old and you had just stolen father's horse. '''''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck What have you done now?]]'''''
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* Paris gets a good barb in on Menelaus when the latter rants about him stealing his wife "in the middle of the night".
--> '''Paris:''' "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint The sun was shining when your wife left you]]."
* Odysseus doesn't mince words after Menelaus's death.
--> '''Odysseus:''' The men believe we came here for Menelaus's wife. Won't be needing her anymore.
--> '''Agamemnon:''' My brother's blood still wets the sand and you insult him!
--> '''Odysseus:''' It's no insult to say a dead man is dead.
** Nestor says the men's morale is merely "weak".
--> '''Odysseus:''' Weak? They're ready to swim home!
** Agamemnon rants about Achilles is as likely "to spear me as to speak to me!"
* Achilles attempts an AfterActionPatchUp to Briseis who, not unreasonably after nearly being gang raped, keeps slapping his hand away as he tries to mop her wounds. He then throws the cloth at her and she throws it back at him!
--> '''Paris:''' "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint The sun was shining when your wife left you]]."
* Odysseus doesn't mince words after Menelaus's death.
--> '''Odysseus:''' The men believe we came here for Menelaus's wife. Won't be needing her anymore.
--> '''Agamemnon:''' My brother's blood still wets the sand and you insult him!
--> '''Odysseus:''' It's no insult to say a dead man is dead.
** Nestor says the men's morale is merely "weak".
--> '''Odysseus:''' Weak? They're ready to swim home!
** Agamemnon rants about Achilles is as likely "to spear me as to speak to me!"
* Achilles attempts an AfterActionPatchUp to Briseis who, not unreasonably after nearly being gang raped, keeps slapping his hand away as he tries to mop her wounds. He then throws the cloth at her and she throws it back at him!
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** HilariousInHindsight: This exchange is even funnier now that Creator/SeanBean (who played Odysseus) has become famous as a ChronicallyKilledActor... and this time his character actually made it to the credits!
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* The film opens with a CombatByChampion between Boagrius and Achilles...except Achilles didn't bother to show up.
-->'''Triopas''': Boagrius has that effect on many heroes.
-->'''Triopas''': Boagrius has that effect on many heroes.
Changed line(s) 4,8 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Helen:''' You shouldn't be here.
--> '''Paris:''' That's what you said last night.
--> '''Helen:''' Last night was a mistake.
--> '''Paris:''' And the night before that?
--> '''Helen:''' I have made many mistakes this week.
--> '''Paris:''' That's what you said last night.
--> '''Helen:''' Last night was a mistake.
--> '''Paris:''' And the night before that?
--> '''Helen:''' I have made many mistakes this week.
to:
--> '''Helen:''' You shouldn't be here.
-->here.\\
'''Paris:''' That's what you said lastnight.
-->night.\\
'''Helen:''' Last night was amistake.
-->mistake.\\
'''Paris:''' And the night beforethat?
-->that?\\
'''Helen:''' I have made many mistakes this week.
-->
'''Paris:''' That's what you said last
-->
'''Helen:''' Last night was a
-->
'''Paris:''' And the night before
-->
'''Helen:''' I have made many mistakes this week.
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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
-->Row you lazy whores, row!
to:
-->Row you lazy whores, row!row! Greeks are dying!
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* Helen and Paris at the start.
--> '''Helen:''' You shouldn't be here.
--> '''Paris:''' That's what you said last night.
--> '''Helen:''' Last night was a mistake.
--> '''Paris:''' And the night before that?
--> '''Helen:''' I have made many mistakes this week.
--> '''Helen:''' You shouldn't be here.
--> '''Paris:''' That's what you said last night.
--> '''Helen:''' Last night was a mistake.
--> '''Paris:''' And the night before that?
--> '''Helen:''' I have made many mistakes this week.
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* Near the beginning of the movie, the look on Hector's face when he realizes just where Paris is... it's somewhere between OhCrap and YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe
to:
* Near the beginning of the movie, the look on Hector's face when he realizes just where Paris is... it's somewhere between OhCrap and YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMeYouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe.
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* After being forced to retreat, Agamemnon angrily chugs his wine while complaining how Troy is "[[HypocriticalHumor DRUNK with victory]]".
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Changed line(s) 4,7 (click to see context) from:
* As the Greek ships are landing on the beaches of Troy, Achilles spots a familiar face who's just arrived...
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over!
-->'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
* Two of Agamemnon's messengers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd begins to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over!
-->'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
* Two of Agamemnon's messengers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd begins to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
to:
* As In the Greek ships are landing on the beaches of Troy, Achilles spots a familiar face who's just arrived...
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over!
-->'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
* TwoDirector's Cut, two of Agamemnon's messengers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd begins to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over!
-->'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
* Two
-->Row you lazy whores, row!
Changed line(s) 10,11 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Hector''': You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at the gates of Troy for husbands they will never see again?
-->'''Achilles''': [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.]]
-->'''Achilles''': [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.]]
to:
-->'''Hector''': You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at the gates of Troy for husbands they will never see again?
-->'''Achilles''':again? \\
'''Achilles''': [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.]]]]
* As the Greek ships are landing on the beaches of Troy, Achilles spots a familiar face who's just arrived...
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over! \\
'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
-->'''Achilles''':
'''Achilles''': [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.
* As the Greek ships are landing on the beaches of Troy, Achilles spots a familiar face who's just arrived...
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over! \\
'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
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Changed line(s) 14 (click to see context) from:
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? chilles is standing in an open field, yelling "'''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''''"
to:
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? chilles Achilles is standing in an open field, yelling "'''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''''"
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!All spoilers will be unmarked ahead. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned!
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
* Two of Agamemnon's messangers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd begins to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
to:
* Two of Agamemnon's messangers messengers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd begins to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
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Changed line(s) 11,12 (click to see context) from:
* Hectoooooooorrrrr! HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? [[spoiler: Achilles is standing in an open field, yelling ''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? [[spoiler: Achilles is standing in an open field, yelling ''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]
to:
* Hectoooooooorrrrr! HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!
"Hectoooooooorrrrr! HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!"
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why?[[spoiler: Achilles chilles is standing in an open field, yelling ''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]"'''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''''"
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why?
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
* Two of Agamemnon's messangers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
to:
* Two of Agamemnon's messangers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd begins to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
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* Two of Agamemnon's messangers are dispatched to find Odysseus and come across a lone shepherd resting in the hills. When he hears who they're looking for, the shepherd to angrily rant about how Odysseus sucks, offending the men with his lack of respect for his king. [[KingIncognito The shepherd is Odysseus]] and he has a good laugh at their expense.
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Achilles''': Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.
to:
-->'''Achilles''': [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.]]
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* Near the beginning of the movie, the look on Hector's face when he realizes just where Paris is...
to:
* Near the beginning of the movie, the look on Hector's face when he realizes just where Paris is... it's somewhere between OhCrap and YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe
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* Ajax being so eager to join in with Achilles and the Myrmidons in their assault on the beach, and him being so pissed off that his vessel isn't going any faster, that he pulls off one of the rowers and starts rowing himself.
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnYdteja7Y0 The laugh Agamemnon lets out]] during Menelaus and Paris's fight. It's so [[EvilIsHammy hammy]] and [[MoodDissonance contrary to the seriousness of the scene]] that it CrossesTheLineTwice to become downright hilarious.
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnYdteja7Y0 The laugh pointing and laughing that Agamemnon lets out]] does]] during Menelaus and Paris's fight. It's so [[EvilIsHammy hammy]] and [[MoodDissonance contrary to the seriousness of the scene]] that it CrossesTheLineTwice to become downright hilarious.
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* As the Greek ships are landing on the beaches of Troy, Achilles spots a familiar face who's just arrived...
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over!
-->'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
-->'''Achilles''': If you sailed any slower, this war would be over!
-->'''Odysseus''': I don't mind missing the start, just so long as I'm here at the end!
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Added the funny moment with Agamemnon's laugh.
Added DiffLines:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnYdteja7Y0 The laugh Agamemnon lets out]] during Menelaus and Paris's fight. It's so [[EvilIsHammy hammy]] and [[MoodDissonance contrary to the seriousness of the scene]] that it CrossesTheLineTwice to become downright hilarious.
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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? [[spoiler: Achilles is standing in an open field, yelling ''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]
to:
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? [[spoiler: Achilles is standing in an open field, yelling ''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
* Hectoooooooorrrrr! HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!!
to:
* Hectoooooooorrrrr! HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!!HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? [[spoiler: Achilles is standing in an open field, yelling ''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]
** Gut-wrenchingly funny in the Russian dub. Why? [[spoiler: Achilles is standing in an open field, yelling ''''HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!! HECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!'''']]
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Achilles''': Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.
to:
-->'''Achilles''': Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.wives.
* Hectoooooooorrrrr! HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!!
* Hectoooooooorrrrr! HECTOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!!
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Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
* "You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at the gates of Troy for husbands they will never see again?" "Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives."
to:
* "You This exchange outside the newly sacked temple of Apollo:
-->'''Hector''': You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at the gates of Troy for husbands they will never seeagain?" "Perhaps again?
-->'''Achilles''': Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives."
-->'''Hector''': You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at the gates of Troy for husbands they will never see
-->'''Achilles''': Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* Near the beginning of the movie, the look on Hector's face when he realizes just where Paris is...
to:
* Near the beginning of the movie, the look on Hector's face when he realizes just where Paris is...is...
* "You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at the gates of Troy for husbands they will never see again?" "Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives."
* "You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at the gates of Troy for husbands they will never see again?" "Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives."
