History Funny / Tintin

'''Colonel''': Yes, sir: four days detention, sir.\\

* The Thompsons' OutdatedOutfits and being followed by a huge crowd of locals, dressed in normal clothes and laughing at them.

* There's a RunningGag where [[ThoseTwoGuys Thomson and Thompson]] keep getting their wallets lifted. Eventually they decide to secure their wallets with elastic bands, which results in a bit of {{slapstick}} when the pickpocket shows up later in the story. Later, they are amazed that their wallets ''haven't'' been stolen, despite said wallets being on a chain ([[HilariousInHindsight predicting, by coincidence, a minor fad in the 1990s]]). Finally, they pay the pickpocket responsible a visit, and a search of the thief's collection (he's a kleptomaniac who hasn't actually taken the contents of the wallets for his own use, and in fact feels some guilt over it all) reveals an entire ''shelf'' of wallets... with a conspicuously large section labeled "T".

* The fact that Bianca is world-famous despite every on-panel character hating her singing, with one of the few exceptions being Dr Calculus, who's poor hearing means the shrillness of her voice is scaled down and he can actually hear the tones. He's one of her biggest fans and is heavily implied to have a crush on her.

* Some of Thompson and Thomson's slapstick moments qualify; in their first episode, they step through the cabin door of a ship and one of them bashes his head on the top of the door frame -- the first mate tells them to mind their head, and the other responds with "Mind my head, of course.", ducks ... ''and trips over''.
** At one point, a photo of them falling down the steps in an attempt to apprehend the criminal is used in ''a newspaper article'' about the event, complete with ComicallySerious caption.
** One album even Lampshades this where Tintin feels sympathy for the detectives being constantly in over their heads.

* Whenever Captain Haddock loses his temper. And when Haddock ''does'' lose his temper, some [[FloweryInsults wonderfully creative insults]] are on their way.

* "Helloooo! I can hear you!" ("Allo! J'écou-ou-oute!")
* "MERCY! MY JEWELS!" ("CIEL! MES BIJOUX!")
* "No, I'm sorry, this is not Cutts the Butcher!" ("Non, Monsieur/Madame, ce n'est pas la Boucherie Sanzot!")
* This one isn't a running gag, but there's something hilarious about the ''Paris-Flash'' tabloid proclaiming the betrothal of Haddock and Castafiore. One of the photos shows Haddock scowling murderously at Iago the parrot, accompanied by the placid caption "He opens his heart to the parrot she gave him."

** Leo [=McKern=]'s deliciously hammy delivery of the line in the audio drama certainly counts as well.

-->'''Audience member:''' "Shut that dog up!"
-->'''Haddock:''' "That's no way to talk about a lady, sir!"

*** His pink cowboy outfit. Even Hergé remarked that after drawing Rastapopulous in it, he couldn't take him seriously anymore

*** His pink cowboy outfit.

-->'''Haddock:''' "That's no way to talk about a lady!"

** Not to mention Captain Haddock getting all kinds of congratulatory missives from everyone from [[CallBack Captain Chester to Cutts the Butcher to Oliveira da Figueira]]. What takes the cake is when Thompson and Thomson ring him up to offer their congrats. Haddock's reaction has to be read to be believed.

* From, ''The Seven Crystal Balls'', when Snowy starts howling during Bianca Castafiore's performance:

* From Tintin in Tibet:

** Haddock breaking the ''Ramona'''s [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engine_order_telegraph engine order telegraph]] and, after failing to fix it, trashing it in a fit of rage (and hurting his foot in the process).
** Worth noting is that instead of "full speed ahead," it gets jammed at "half speed astern," (aka. putting the ''Ramona'' in reverse). Even better – the sudden change of direction allows the ship to ''dodge a torpedo''.

** Haddock breaking the ''Ramona'' [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engine_order_telegraph engine order telegraph]] and, after failing to fix it, trashing it in a fit of rage (and hurting his foot in the process).
** Worth noting is that instead of "full speed ahead," it gets jammed at "half speed astern," (aka. putting the ''Ramona'' in reverse. Even better – the sudden change of direction allows the ship to ''dodge a torpedo''.

* Snowy manages to terrify a trained 'guard gorilla' into panicky retreat by barking and growling and is thinking to himself how ridiculous it is for the gorilla to be scared of something so small and harmless... [[HypocriticalHumor when he spots a spider on the floor and beats a panicky retreat.]]

* The fact that Bianca is world-famous despite every on-panel character hating her singing, with one of the few exceptions being Dr Calculus, who's poor hearing means the shrillness of her voice is scaled down and he can actually hear the tones. He's one of her biggest fans and is heavily implied to have a crush on her.

* One of the passengers on the Aurora getting splashed in the face with ocean water.

* The time Haddock ''doesn't'' lose his temper, and is faced with a reporter from the newspaper that had leaked their treasure hunting intentions. Instead of chewing the man out, he asks that he interview his secretary: Professor Calculus.

* After returning to Europe, Thompson and Thomson say they'll be staying at some friends' farm for a well-earned vacation. [[HereWeGoAgain They end up working on an agricultural machine that look exactly like that accursed manual air pump they've been operating for the last weeks.]]

** Haddock breaking the ship's steering mechanism and, after failing to fix it, trashing it in a fit of rage (and hurting his foot in the process).
* An underwater TimeBomb gets mishandled and is swallowed by a shark, which keeps hiccuping until it explodes.

* The Tibetan members of the team try to tell Haddock a story about how the Yeti once found a bottle of alcohol and drunk it. Problem is, said alcohol happens to be named "Tchang", just as Tintin's friend they are on a quest to find. As a result, Haddock is left wondering what the hell they are talking about as they tell him the Yeti "drunk Tchang".

--> '''Haddock:''' Bianca Castafiore! She's HERE by thunder! That woman follows us to the ends of the Earth!

** The step never being fixed until the end...wherin it is completely destroyed again.
*** The mason shown as being lazy.

*** One particular time, Nestor went to answer the door, slipped on the step, but then jumped on one foot all the way down the stairs and slid to the door and didn't fall. Doubles as an Awesome Moment.

* This one isn't a running gag, but there's something hilarious about the Paris-Flash tabloid proclaiming the betrothal of Haddock and Castafiore. One of the photos shows Haddock scowling murderously at Iago the parrot, accompanied by the placid caption "He opens his heart to the parrot she gave him."

* At one point earlier in the story, a Romani old woman offers to tell Haddock his future, much to his irritation. As he is trying to politely refuse, she appears to notice something on his hand and screams in surprise, causing him to ask what it is:

-->(''After she announced she would be going to the United States soon''): Poor Americans. They were so nice and quiet until Christoph Colombus arrived.

** Allan sees a monkey and laugh at it because it have a big nose then say that it remind him of someone, that someone is Rastapopulous, [[OhCrap the person Allan was talking to.]]

* [[http://i.imgur.com/WRQYChO.png Haddock's]] UnstoppableRage on seeing his whiskey bottle drained by the yeti.

* The time he ''doesn't'' lose his temper, and is faced with a reporter from the newspaper that had leaked their treasure hunting intentions. Instead of chewing the man out, he asks that he interview his secretary: Professor Calculus.
* When Calculus is discovered aboard the ship, leading to the WhosOnFirst exchange culminating in "Separate pieces? My whiskey is in separate pieces?"

** Also his freak out when he thinks Bianca Castafiore is in the next tent (It's actually the radio.)
--> '''Haddock:''' Bianca Castafiore! She's HERE by thunder! That woman follows us to the ends of the Earth!

--> '''Haddock:''' ''(chasing a villain)'' Blackamoor! Anthracite! Coconut! [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Fuzzy-wuzzy!]] Cannibal!

** [[CluelessDetective Thompson and Thomson have wrongfully captured Tintin]]. The latter escapes and handcuffs them both to one another. As they chase Tintin, the handcuffs get caught on a lamppost and [[AmusingInjuries they slam straight on each other.]]

* Whenever Captain Haddock loses his temper.
** The time he ''doesn't'' lose his temper, and is faced with a reporter from the newspaper that had leaked their treasure hunting intentions. Instead of chewing the man out, he asks that he interview his secretary: Professor Calculus.
** When Calculus is discovered aboard the ship, leading to the WhosOnFirst exchange culminating in "Separate pieces? My whiskey is in separate pieces?"
** And when Haddock ''does'' lose his temper, some [[FloweryInsults wonderfully creative insults]] are on their way.

** In the same comic, Tintin and Snowy had to hitch a ride with Bianca Castafiore to the Syldavian capital, and she decided to "treat" them to her music.
** The fact that Bianca is world-famous despite every on-panel character hating her singing, with one of the few exceptions being Dr Calculus, who's poor hearing means the shrillness of her voice is scaled down and he can actually hear the tones. He's one of her biggest fans and is heavily implied to have a crush on her.

** Thompson and Thomson try to help with navigating. After reading the coordinates they give him, Captain Haddock tells them to remove their hats and pray. They do, and enquire why. The reason? "According to these coordinates, gentlemen, we are currently standing inside Westminster Abbey!"
** After returning to Europe, Thompson and Thomson say they'll be staying at some friends' farm for a well-earned vacation. [[HereWeGoAgain They end up working on an agricultural machine that look exactly like that accursed manual air pump they've been operating for the last weeks.]]
** The parrots on the desert island who are still mimicking the curses taught to them by Sir Francis Haddock centuries ago, and passed down through generations.

** Haddock's in the bath when the phone rings. He has the detachable shower head in his hand, and mistakenly puts it up to his ear instead.
** Castafiore comes to greet the rescued Tintin, Haddock and Skut. Haddock's (perfectly serious, slightly panicky) reaction: "Do we get back on the raft?", followed by this dialogue: "Ah, and Captain Padlock, er, Harrock" "[[RockAndRoll ...n'roll]], Signora Castoroili. Harrock'n'roll!" (the Captain wearing [[https://fr.tintin.com/images/tintin/persos/haddock/C18%2040%20C1.jpg what can only be described as a trollface]]).
** One moment has Müller in command of a military base, tasking some aeroplanes to eliminate the convoy Tintin and Haddock are travelling with. Müller then says that armored trucks are on their way, and reiterates that Tintin's convoy need to be wiped out. The pilot commander, [[TooDumbToLive who is kind of an idiot,]] [[PoorCommunicationKills orders his planes to eliminate the armored trucks.]] Müller congratulates the commander on his excellent job, then as soon as he hangs up, [[DoubleTake realises what has happened.]] [[ReassignedToAntarctica It can be assumed that the commander is dealt with.]]
** When what turns out to be a slave trader boards the ship (thinking Haddock is the regular captain), Haddock kicks him off the ship and continues yelling his trademark insults after him, until Tintin points out the slaver is out of hearing range. Haddock then gets a ''megaphone'' and continues to rain insults until definitely out of range.

** An underwater TimeBomb gets mishandled and is swallowed by a shark, which keeps hiccuping until it explodes.

** The Tibetan members of the team try to tell Haddock a story about how the Yeti once found a bottle of alcohol and drunk it. Problem is, said alcohol happens to be named "Tchang", just as Tintin's friend they are on a quest to find. As a result, Haddock is left wondering what the hell they are talking about as they tell him the Yeti "drunk Tchang".
** When Tintin has his premonition and [[TheScream screams]] "TCHANG!", everyone in the room jumps - apart from the 'slightly hard of hearing in one ear' Professor Calculus.

** "Helloooo! I can hear you!" ("Allo! J'écou-ou-oute!")
** "MERCY! MY JEWELS!" ("CIEL! MES BIJOUX!")
** "No, I'm sorry, this is not Cutts the Butcher!" ("Non, Monsieur/Madame, ce n'est pas la Boucherie Sanzot!")
** This one isn't a running gag, but there's something hilarious about the Paris-Flash tabloid proclaiming the betrothal of Haddock and Castafiore. One of the photos shows Haddock scowling murderously at Iago the parrot, accompanied by the placid caption "He opens his heart to the parrot she gave him."
** After putting up with Iago imitating Bianca Castafiore he tells it to change the record after she's gone, whereupon it scares him by bellowing "BILLIONS OF BLUE BLISTERING BARNACLES, SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING!" in his face.
** The remarkably surreal scene where Calculus attempts color television.
** Haddock's nightmare deserves a mention. You can't possibly say that a parrot wearing a dress and singing opera doesn't make you laugh.
** At one point earlier in the story, a Romani old woman offers to tell Haddock his future, much to his irritation. As he is trying to politely refuse, she appears to notice something on his hand and screams in surprise, causing him to ask what it is:

** Haddock's various snarks while watching the Castafiore getting interviewed:

* Pick a moment involving Professor Calculus. Any moment.
-->'''Haddock''': But we ''are'' in Jakarta!\\
'''Calculus''': Really? I could have sworn we were in Jakarta...

* Oliveira da Figueira disguises Tintin as introduces him as his nephew Alvaro to get into Professor Smith’s house. He then weaves an elaborate story about “Alvaro’s” parents died and left him a orphan. TakenUpToEleven in the Nelvana series.

[[folder:''Land of the Black Sun'']]
* Oliveira da Figueira disguises Tintin as introduces him as his nephew Alvaro to get into Professor Smith’s house. He then weaves an elaborate story about “Alvaro’s” parents died and left him a orphan.

* The Thompsons'OutdatedOutfit appearance:
-->"Don't look now, but I think we're being followed." *are being followed by a huge crowd of Chinese civilians, dressed in normal clothes, who are laughing at them*