History Funny / Theater

* In ''[[Theatre/ShoggothOnTheRoof A Shoggoth on the Roof]]'', the song ''To Life'' (wherein [[Creator/HPLovecraft Herbert West]] tries to convince his prospective father-in-law that reviving dead people is "supremely great work"). Especially the dancing zombie chorus.

* ComicBook/FunHome is a '''very'' sad musical, but that doesn't stop it from having some funny moments.
** Right before her first sexual encounter, Joan Performs a ShutUpKiss to Middle Allison and her reaction is priceless.
** When Bruce finds a dead mouse in a box of old antiques, Small Allison gladly takes it in.
-->'''Bruce:''' (Disgusted) Ugh, dead mouse.
-->'''Small Allison:''' (Excited) Oh, Oh! Can I have it?
-->'''Bruce:''' ...It's all yours (hands her the mouse).
** Regular Allison has this golden line.
-->'''Allison:''' Caption: My dad and I are exactly alike!
-->*Beat*
-->'''Allison:''' Caption, my dad and I are ''nothing'' alike.
** Middle Allison's awkward yet Adorkable sing-song rambles are bound to get a chuckle out of some.
-->'''Middle Allison:''' Joan I feel like ''Hercules!''- Oh GOD that sounds ridiculous!

* At the beginning of ''Theatre/CyranoDeBergerac'', a man tries to insult Cyrano, telling him "Sir, your nose is... hmm... it is... very big!", (something that he's very sensitive to). Cyrano calmly responds that it is, but this insult was lousy, and proceeds to tell a LongList of better insults in many different styles. Then fights a duel with him, while improvising a sonnet.

* ''Theatre/ThirteenTheMusical'' has several of these. What? Teenagers have a sense of humor, too.
** Brett walks into the girls bathroom, sees the tampon machine and says "Whoa, you have a candy machine in here".
** This is a line during the CutSong "Opportunity":
--->'''Lucy:''' I could be Brett's brand-new girlfriend.
--->'''Kendra:''' Lucy! Look at Brett.
--->'''Lucy:''' I could show him a lot of new tricks.
--->'''Kendra:''' He looks like a rainbow full of sad.
** Also, this exchange between Archie and Patrice"
--->'''Archie:''' ... and if you cared at all, you'd be going to save him.
--->'''Patrice:''' I don't care. I'm not going.
--->'''Archie:''' Okay.
--->'''Patrice:''' I'm not.
--->'''Archie:''' I know.
--->'''Patrice:''' You know I'm going, don't you?
--->'''Archie:''' Yup.
--->'''Patrice:''' I hate you. ''(She runs off to save [[spoiler: Evan]])''
*** In some shows, Archie would respond "I hate you too."

* ''Theatre/{{Urinetown}}'' has some brilliantly funny scenes, but some productions play it more seriously than others.
** The song 'Follow Your Heart,' which is an absolutely spot-on parody of love songs.
** This exchange:
---> '''Little Sally:''' What's it like, Officer Lockstock?
---> '''Lockstock:''' What's ''what'' like?
---> '''Little Sally:''' Urinetown!
---> '''Lockstock:''' Oh, I can't tell you that, Little Sally.
---> '''Little Sally:''' Why not?
---> '''Lockstock:''' Because it's a secret, that's why!Look, its power depends on mystery. I can't just blurt it out like [[spoiler: 'There is no Urinetown! We just kill people!']] Oh no. The information must ooze out until it breaks forth in one mighty cathartic moment!! ...Somewhere in Act II, with lots of singing and things like that.
** There was a regional production that had a clear parody of ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}'''s "Defying Gravity" at the end of "Look at the Sky": [[TheHero Bobby Strong]], standing on a higher level than the rest of the cast, brandished a toilet plunger (like Elphaba with her broom) under a bright green spotlight, belting the final note at the top of his lungs.

* [[http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/drowsychaperone/brideslament.htm "Bride's Lament"]] in ''The Drowsy Chaperone'' is StylisticSuck done hilariously right. Or wrong. Or both.
** "He was the Allbright Toothpaste man, which was really popular because the main ingredient was cocaine. It was the 5th one down on the list. Right after sugar."
** "Man of a thousand accents. All of them offensive."
** "That was pure vodka, you POOP!"
*** For a while, it was "...you FOOL!" Georgia Engel said "POOP" instead of "FOOL" because she was so overly religious that it was against her beliefs to use that word. [[ThrowItIn Of course, her use of the phrase just stuck with them for the rest of the run, and it's been added to the script ever since.]]
** "As we stumble! Bumble! Fumble!... ... ... ...''PLUMBLE''!
** "Try not to think of the poodles."
** "I Am Adolfo!"
*** "I can sing it very fast, 'Adolfo!' I can sing it very slow...ly. I would do it now, but it would take ''hours''."
** " L-*cane drops* while you can."

* It's the entire point of the show, but TheCompleteWorksOfWilliamShakespeareAbridged.
-->'''Soothsayer:''' Beware the Ides of March...ooo...
-->'''Caesar:''' What, is that like, a band, or something?
-->'''Soothsayer:''' That's the 15th of March!
-->'''Caesar:''' Why that's today! ''*Hrk*''
** Hamlet, backwards. "OOB"
*** Also, the BrickJoke when Ophelia drowns. The actor takes a cup of water, splashes it in his face, and walks off. When they do it backwards, he comes onstage and ''spits a mouthful of water into an empty cup''.
** An index card mix-up gives us this gem: "Shakespeare invaded Poland September 1st, 1939, thus precipitating World War II. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I didn't know that...]]
** "Cut the crap, Hamlet! My biological clock is ticking and I want babies ''now''!"

* ''Film/TheProducers'': "Now Ulla belt." Words cannot describe how funny it is when the breathy sex kitten character suddenly starts making like Ethel Merman.
** The entire exchange starting with the introduction of Leo's blue blanket. "I'm WET! I'm WET! I'm hysterical and I'm WET!!"
*** "I'm IN ''PAIN''! I'm in pain and I'm wet and I'm ''STILL HYSTERICAL''!"
** Adolf [[EmbarrassingMiddleName Elizabeth]] Hitler?
** It's Mel Brooks, what do you expect? From "Betrayed":
--> Step two, hire the director. Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it two three kick turn turn turn kick turn. Ulla. Ooh-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah. Step three, raise the money. Along came Bialy. Intermission! *Sits down and has a bag of lollies, on stage*
** A common joke at "Intermission!" is for the actor playing Max to pull out the program and note, "Oh, he's good. [[OriginalCastPrecedent He's no Nathan, but he's good.]]"
*** When [[PhoenixFire I]] saw it, it was in a college town and the theater was rather empty due to a pivotal football game on the same day. During the "intermission," Max turned to the audience and said, "In case any of you were wondering, the score is 19 to 22."
** "Leo, why you go so far downstage right?"
** "Gimme those books!" "Fat fat fatty!" "Gimme those books!" "Fat fat fatty!" "Books!" "Fat!" "Books!" "Fat! "Books!" "Fat!"

* From ''[[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail Spamalot]]'':
-->'''Patsy''': [[spoiler:Well, sir...I'm a Jew.]]
-->'''Arthur''': [[spoiler:...Well, why on earth didn't you ''say'' so, Patsy?]]
-->'''Patsy''': [[spoiler:I'm sorry, sir, but...it's just not the sort of ''thing'' you tell a heavily-armed Christian.]]
** Most of the songs, but in particular "I'm All Alone". Arthur singing about how alone he is? Sad. Patsy standing ''right there''? Really sad. ''A bunch of other knights'' joining in Arthur's lament of how alone he is? Priceless.
** TheReveal of the Lady of the Lake's true identity.
--->'''Arthur''': Lady...I would have your true name.
--->'''Lady''': [[spoiler: It's...Guinevere.]]
--->'''Lancelot''': ...Holy '''''shit.'''''
** His name is Lance-a-lot, and in tight pants-a-lot!
**
--->'''Arthur''': I thought you were a fairy.
--->'''Lady of the Lake''': No, that's Lancelot.
*** [[OverusedRunningGag Holy shit]].
** "The Song That Goes Like This." Each time the Lady of the Lake and Galahad try to bring the song to a close, the key just modulates ''again.'' By the final chorus, they're screaming "Oh, GODDAMMIT!" at the orchestra.
** The battle between King Arthur and the Black Knight is 100% pure hilarity.
*** "It's only a flesh wound!"
*** "You stupid bastard, you've got no arms!"
*** In the touring production, at least, they distract the audience from setting up the "legless" special effect by having a man come on asking for "arms for the poor".
** In "You Won't Succeed on Broadway", Sir Robin, his Minstrels and the Knight Chorus re-enact the Bottle Dance scene from ''Theatre/FiddlerOnTheRoof''... with ''grails on their heads''. Robin's first mention of "if we don't have any Jews" is usually met with a full minute of laughter as well.

* ''[[Main/SeventeenSeventySix 1776]]'' has the entirety of "But Mr. Adams," the song where the Founding Fathers shove the writing of their lame excuse to delay Congress from taking a vote (today more commonly known as The Declaration of Independence) on Thomas Jefferson, but the ending is absolutely hilarious. Also, any production that does not include ludicrous dancing is not doing it right.
--->'''Jefferson:''' "Mr. Adams! Damn you, Mr. Adams! / You are [[Main/PhraseCatcher obnoxious and disliked]], that cannot be denied! / Once again, you stand between me and my lovely bride..."
--->'''Franklin, Livingston, and Sherman''': "Love-lee briiiiiide..."
--->'''Jefferson:''' "Ohhh, Mr. Adams! / You are driving me to homicide!"
--->'''F, L, & S:''' ''HOMICIDE! HOMICIDE!''
--->'''Adams:''' "QUIET! Jefferson! Mr. Jefferson!"
--->'''F, L, & S:''' "We may see murderrr! Yeeee-eeeeeet...!"
** Also, Richard Henry Lee leaving and coming back to sing his theme song, and Adams and Franklin's reaction to him.
-->'''John Adams''': That was the most revolting display I have ever witnessed.
-->'''Benjamin Franklin''': They're warm-blooded people, Virginians.
-->'''John Adams''': Not him, Franklin, ''you''!
** The fight (well, one of them) in Congress:
--->'''John Dickinson:''' Are you calling me a coward?\\
'''John Adams:''' Yes... coward!\\
'''John Dickinson:''' Madman!\\
'''John Adams:''' Landlord!\\
'''John Dickinson:''' LAWYER!\\
'''''CANEFIGHT!!!'''''\\
'''GUNSHOT!!''' In '''CONGRESS!!'''

* The whole song "An Original Musical" from ''[[TitleOfShow [title of show]]]''.
** "THAT IS THE NOTE I AM SINGING, JEFF"

* The reprise of ''You're Lovely'' from ''Theatre/AFunnyThingHappenedOnTheWayToTheForum''. Two unattractive old men, one in drag, reenacting the earlier FallingInLoveMontage down to the tee.
** Made ''even funnier'' in one performance where the actor playing Pseudolus takes the opportunity to bang his head on a nearby pillar.
** This ''priceless'' exchange:
-->'''[[MeaningfulName Hysterium]]:''' I'm ruined! My father will turn in his grave!
-->'''[[MeaningfulName Pseudolus]]:''' But your father's not dead.
-->'''Hysterium:''' This will kill him.
** "One, two, three, LOOK OVER THERE! seven, eight, nine." "What happened to four, five, and six?" "I was getting there! Four, five, six."
** "Son, if what you feel for this woman even approaches what I feel for your mother, my heart bleeds for you."
** The one moment in the ridiculous SnowballLie GambitPileup when even Pseudolus is overwhelmed, shouting at Hysterium to "''Stay calm!''"

* In ''Theatre/LegallyBlonde TheMusical'', one of the funniest moments has to be the party scene with Elle in the PlayboyBunny outfit. Now, anyone who's seen the movie will be thinking, Okay, yeah, that was cute, but why is this a crowing moment of funny? Because of a slight change that the script writers included that was absolutely brilliant. After Vivienne tells her to go home and change out of her "skank costume," Elle immediately says that she is not, in fact, dressed as a PlayboyBunny, but instead as Gloria Steinem during her time working as a Bunny to do research for her feminist article "I Was a Playboy Bunny." She then loudly asks if Vivienne's calling Gloria Steinem a skank - cue slightly tipsy StrawFeminist Enid coming in and yelling "Who's calling Gloria Steinem a skank?" before chasing Vivienne off-stage looking ready to tear her hair out and telling Vivienne's boyfriend to get out of the way. Silly? Yes. Hilarious? Also, yes.
** Also, "There, Right There!". "Is he gay or European?"

* ''Theatre/RosencrantzAndGuildensternAreDead'' has a ton, most of them playing on the {{metafiction}}, such as Ros yelling "FIRE" and wondering why no one's leaving their seats. But the best ones are Guildenstern waxing philosophical, only for Rosencrantz to take his musings completely literally:
**
--->'''Guil:''' I'm him, you see.\\
'''Ros:''' Who am I then?\\
'''Guil:''' You're yourself.
**
--->'''Guil:''' [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotDidactic Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not-be on a boat.]]\\
'''Ros:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I've frequently not been on boats.]]

* In ''Theatre/TheNormanConquests,'' which sets up [[ChekhovsGun Chekhov's Jokes]] that don't go off until ''other plays'', one of the best lines is "Norman Dewers: Gigolo! ...and assistant librarian. That's what's inside me. What's inside you, Reg? Besides six bowls of corn flakes?"
** A great example of the Chekhov's Joke starts in the first play, ''Table Manners'', when Reg being egged by Sarah into spying on Norman and Annie (in the living room, where the second play, ''Living Together'' is going on). He can't come up with a good excuse to walk in there, and Sarah suggests he pretend to be retrieving something. He goes off to do it and comes back with a wastepaper basket. Funny. A play later, when Reg walks into the living room, picks up the wastepaper basket, and walks out, nothing said? ''Hilarious''.

* ''{{Urinetown}}'' has some brilliantly funny scenes, but some productions play it more seriously than others.

* The musical version of ''Literature/TheSecretGarden'' after Mary meets her Uncle Archibald, her new guardian:

* [[Theatre/InTheHeights "How do you get this gold shit off?!"]]
** Also the origins of Usnavi's name, Usnavi chasing off Vanessa's aggressive suitors with ''a price gun'', or anything Sonny says ("She was my babysitter first!").
** "Does your cousin dance?" "Like a drunk Chita Rivera."

* ''RosencrantzAndGuildensternAreDead'' has a ton, most of them playing on the {{metafiction}}, such as Ros yelling "FIRE" and wondering why no one's leaving their seats. But the best ones are Guildenstern waxing philosophical, only for Rosencrantz to take his musings completely literally:
--> '''Guil''': I'm him, you see.
--> '''Ros''': Who am I then?
--> '''Guil''': You're yourself.
--->'''Guil''': [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotDidactic Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not-be on a boat.]]
--->'''Ros''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I've frequently not been on boats.]]

* The dialogue between the Wicked Witch of the West and the Winkie Leader in ''TheWizardOfOz''. It's arguably funnier than anything in [[Film/TheWizardOfOz the movie]]. To clarify, The Wicked Witch asks the Winkies [[LampshadeHanging why they always make a low brooding chant whenever they go anywhere.]]

** In "You Won't Succeed on Broadway", Sir Robin, his Minstrels and the Knight Chorus re-enact the Bottle Dance scene from ''FiddlerOnTheRoof''... with ''grails on their heads''. Robin's first mention of "if we don't have any Jews" is usually met with a full minute of laughter as well.