History Funny / TheThickOfIt

1st Mar '16 2:42:58 AM Magennis
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to:

*Never mock Al Jolson in front of Jamie. Ever.
** "You take the piss out of Jolson again, I will remove your iPod from its tiny nano-sheath, and push it up your cock! Then I'll plug some speakers up your arse and put it on to shuffle with my fucking fist! And every time I hear something I don't like, which will be every time that something comes on, I will skip to the next track by crushing *your* balls.
21st Nov '15 1:11:22 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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* Malcolm's response to being asked not to swear is hysterical: "I'm really sorry, you won't hear any more swearing from us, YOU MASSIVE GAY SHITE! Fuck off!"

to:

* Malcolm's response to being asked not to swear is hysterical: "I'm really sorry, you won't hear any more swearing from us, YOU MASSIVE GAY SHITE! ''SHITE''! Fuck off!"
31st Aug '15 1:34:03 PM JonShannow
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Added DiffLines:

* When Peter is asked for a comment on the NHS worker's protest.
--> '''Peter:''' "As we enter the third week, I find Mr Tickel's attention seeking tent based twattery even more annoying than weeks one and two."
9th Oct '14 6:43:13 PM szaleniec1000
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Added DiffLines:

* Malcolm trying to gauge Hugh's pop culture awareness:
-->'''Malcolm:''' Who's the [[Series/LittleBritain only gay in the village]]?
-->'''Hugh:''' [[Radio/TheArchers Eddie Grundy?]]
11th Apr '14 12:04:04 AM RepellentJeff
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Added DiffLines:

-->'''Jamie:''' "EAT THE FUCKING CHEESE!"
20th Mar '14 9:52:07 PM erforce
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* The photo spread featuring Malcolm shooting lasers from his eyes and his head 'shopped on the body of JamesBond, and the "10 Facts About Malcolm Tucker", are both hilarious and practically MemeticBadass [[AscendedMeme ascended]].

to:

* The photo spread featuring Malcolm shooting lasers from his eyes and his head 'shopped on the body of JamesBond, Film/JamesBond, and the "10 Facts About Malcolm Tucker", are both hilarious and practically MemeticBadass [[AscendedMeme ascended]].
12th Mar '14 6:57:43 PM ACondomFullOfCrisco
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Added DiffLines:

* "EAT THE FUCKING CHEESE. ''EAT THE CHEESE, NICHOLSON!''"
15th Feb '14 12:12:48 AM gosmiti
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** [[spoiler: When Mary Drake eventually announces to Stuart that the PM wants him out,]] Peter's reaction says it all.
14th Feb '14 9:18:34 PM boo1348
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* Three words: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99CZHHgAOy8 Catastrophic. Erectile. Dysfuntion.]]

to:

* Three words: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99CZHHgAOy8 Catastrophic. Erectile. Dysfuntion.]]Dysfunction.



* ([=S02E06=], the diary fiasco and Hugh lying to a Select Committee)
-->'''Hugh:''' Well, I lied to the Select Committee. It's like lying to the House.
-->'''Malcolm:''' Yeah, I know, but if she doesn't know then it doesn't matter, Hugh.
-->'''Terri:''' Excuse me, but I really can't be fielding calls right now. I have got a lot of lines to learn. It's Claire Ballentine's office -- they want departmental diaries from the last twelve weeks.

to:

* ([=S02E06=], [=S02E06=], the diary fiasco Diary Fiasco and Hugh lying to a Select Committee)
Committee:
-->'''Hugh:''' Well, "Well, I lied to the Select Committee. It's like lying to the House. \n"
-->'''Malcolm:''' Yeah, "Yeah, I know, but if she doesn't know then it doesn't matter, Hugh.
Hugh."
-->'''Terri:''' Excuse "Excuse me, but I really can't be fielding calls right now. I have got a lot of lines to learn. It's Claire Ballentine's office -- they office--they want departmental diaries from the last twelve weeks."



-->'''Malcolm:''' ''Hugh'', go and get Ollie and Glenn in here! This is really serious. You have ''lied'' to a Select Committee.
-->'''Hugh:''' I told you that!
-->'''Malcolm:''' But that's like lying to the House!
-->'''Hugh:''' That's what I said.
-->'''Malcolm:''' Yeah, but ''they're on to you!''

to:

-->'''Malcolm:''' ''Hugh'', "''Hugh'', go and get Ollie and Glenn in here! This is really serious. You have ''lied'' to a Select Committee.
Committee."
-->'''Hugh:''' I "I told you that!
that!"
-->'''Malcolm:''' But "But that's like lying to the House!
House!"
-->'''Hugh:''' That's "That's what I said.
said."
-->'''Malcolm:''' Yeah, "Yeah, but ''they're on to you!''you!''"



* The entirety of the '[[ItMakesSenseInContext Quiet Batpeople]]' debacle in the second episode of Series 4.

to:

* The entirety of the '[[ItMakesSenseInContext Quiet Batpeople]]' Bat People]]' debacle in the second episode of Series 4.



-->'''Malcolm:''' What's that film you love?
-->'''Ollie:''' What film?
-->'''Malcolm:''' The one about the hairdresser. The space hairdresser and the cowboy...the guy, he's got a tinfoil pal and a pedalbin...his father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister...Lego, they're all made of fucking Lego.
-->'''Ollie:''' [[spoiler:Star Wars?]]
-->'''Malcolm:''' That's the one!

to:

-->'''Malcolm:''' What's "What's that film you love?
love?"
-->'''Ollie:''' What film?
"What film?"
-->'''Malcolm:''' The "The one about the hairdresser. The space hairdresser and the cowboy...the guy, he's got a tinfoil pal and a pedalbin... his father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister...Lego, they're all made of fucking Lego.
Lego."
-->'''Ollie:''' [[spoiler:Star Wars?]]
[[spoiler:"...Star Wars?"]]
-->'''Malcolm:''' That's "That's the one!one!"



* Peter Mannion's endless disdain for Stuart: '''"I'd like to use his mouth as an ashtray - it doesn't mean I'd actually ''do'' it."'''

to:

* Peter Mannion's endless disdain for Stuart: '''"I'd Stuart:
--> '''Peter:''' "I'd
like to use his mouth as an ashtray - it ashtray--it doesn't mean I'd actually ''do'' it."'''"



-->'''Malcolm:''' You're fucking dead. And those three little words, "Tim in Ruislip", are the fucking nails in your coffin, dear. Tim. In. Ruislip! Tim in fucking Ruislip. And as for Tim, in--\\
'''Janice:''' Can you stop FUCKING saying that please!?\\
'''Malcolm:''' --'''FUCKING Ruislip''', he's fucking dead as well! That fucking texting coward! Give me his number. What's his fucking number?! Give me the fucking number of Tim in Ruislip! If you don't give me his fucking number, do you know what I'm going to have to do? I'm gonna have to go to fucking Ruislip, and fucking ''snap the thumb and forefinger'' of every single person I see, who I think resembles the find of ''wanker'' that walks around in this day and age with a name like '''fucking TIM.'''

to:

-->'''Malcolm:''' You're "You're fucking dead. And those three little words, "Tim in Ruislip", are the fucking nails in your coffin, dear. Tim. In. Ruislip! Tim in fucking Ruislip. And as for Tim, in--\\
in--"\\
'''Janice:''' Can "Can you stop FUCKING saying that please!?\\
please!?"\\
'''Malcolm:''' --'''FUCKING "--'''FUCKING Ruislip''', he's fucking dead as well! That fucking texting coward! Give me his number. What's his fucking number?! Give me the fucking number of Tim in Ruislip! If you don't give me his fucking number, do you know what I'm going to have to do? I'm gonna have to go to fucking Ruislip, and fucking ''snap the thumb and forefinger'' of every single person I see, who I think resembles the find of ''wanker'' that walks around in this day and age with a name like '''fucking TIM.'''
'''"



[[WMG: From ''The Missing [=DoSAC=] Files'': ]]

to:

[[WMG: From ''The Missing [=DoSAC=] Files'': ]]
Files'':]]



*** "This is all fine, up to a point. Not as good as what I said, but it'll do. But I reckon it needs something arty up top. Something about a cloud? Cloud's look like - butter? Or sheep? [='The clouds that morning looked like buttery sheep and Mike had a bone-on like a yew tree.'=]"

to:

*** "This is all fine, up to a point. Not as good as what I said, but it'll do. But I reckon it needs something arty up top. Something about a cloud? Cloud's look like - butter? like--butter? Or sheep? [='The clouds that morning looked like buttery sheep and Mike had a bone-on like a yew tree.'=]"



-->'''Nicola:''' Should I have read the...you know...(pantomimes the official Whitehall document box that theoretically contains important governmental information)
-->'''Ollie:''' Oh, those. No, don't worry. They're purely ornamental, much like Glenn's balls.

to:

-->'''Nicola:''' Should "Should I have read the...you know...(pantomimes " ''(pantomimes the official Whitehall document box that theoretically contains important governmental information)
information)''
-->'''Ollie:''' Oh, "Oh, those. No, don't worry. They're purely ornamental, much like Glenn's balls."



-->'''Glenn:''' You don't hang around in this business for as long as I have without making a few contacts.
-->'''Ollie:''' Yes, Glenn, but Disraeli is dead. He died in the Crimea. Did you not hear the town crier announce it?

to:

-->'''Glenn:''' You "You don't hang around in this business for as long as I have without making a few contacts.
contacts."
-->'''Ollie:''' Yes, "Yes, Glenn, but Disraeli is dead. He died in the Crimea. Did you not hear the town crier announce it?it?"
26th Jan '14 5:11:42 PM CaptainSlag
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* Flemming's NewWorldEraSpeech, and the immediate reaction from everyone in the room.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheThickOfIt