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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. Big! DAMN! '''CONSPIRACY'''! '''''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''''' Including [[Creator/RitaHayworth HER!]]
to:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy fussy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. Big! DAMN! '''CONSPIRACY'''! '''''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''''' Including [[Creator/RitaHayworth HER!]]
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--> "I ain't going to count to three! I'm not even going to count to '''ONE'''! You will shut the fuck up, or I'll sing you a lullaby!"
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Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
-> "What the Christ is this happy horseshit?"
to:
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-> "What the Christ is this happy horseshit?"
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--> " What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?"
--> " If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary. Every last motherfucker in here!"
** Not to mention his whole exchange with the other guards and Andy about his windfall:
--> "Dumb shit, what do you think the government's gonna do to me? Take a big wet bite out of my ass is what."
--> "Oh that's funny. You're gonna look funnier sucking my dick with no teeth!"
--> "Bunch of ball-washing bastards!"
--> " If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary. Every last motherfucker in here!"
** Not to mention his whole exchange with the other guards and Andy about his windfall:
--> "Dumb shit, what do you think the government's gonna do to me? Take a big wet bite out of my ass is what."
--> "Oh that's funny. You're gonna look funnier sucking my dick with no teeth!"
--> "Bunch of ball-washing bastards!"
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** And Hadley's reply:
--> "You'll be telling him about my baton up your ass!"
--> "You'll be telling him about my baton up your ass!"
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* As brutal and utterly heinous he truly was, Captain Byron Hadley was a goldmine of unintentionally (?) funny lines:
--> "You eat when we say you eat. You piss when we say you piss, and you shit when we say you shit. You got that, you maggot dick motherfucker?"
--> "You eat when we say you eat. You piss when we say you piss, and you shit when we say you shit. You got that, you maggot dick motherfucker?"
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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
*** Not Rita. By 1966, it was lovely [[OneMillionYearsBC Raquel]].
to:
*** Not Rita. By 1966, it was lovely [[OneMillionYearsBC [[Film/OneMillionYearsBC Raquel]].
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
** Um.... ouch.
to:
** Um.... ouch. Talk about adding insult to injury.
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** As tragic as the fate of "Fat Ass" is, some of the other inmate's lines are ''hysterical'':
-->'''"Fat Ass:"''' ''([[InelegantBlubbering sobbing to guard]])'' I'm not supposed to be here!
-->'''Random inmate:''' Me neither! They run this place [[DeadpanSnarker like a fuckin' prison!]]
-->'''"Fat Ass:"''' ''([[InelegantBlubbering sobbing to guard]])'' I'm not supposed to be here!
-->'''Random inmate:''' Me neither! They run this place [[DeadpanSnarker like a fuckin' prison!]]
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Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
** While "Fat Ass" breaks down and starts [[IWantMyMommy starts crying for his mother]], one of the veteran inmates calls out "[[MoodWhiplash I've had your mother, she wasn't that great!]]"
to:
** While "Fat Ass" breaks down and starts [[IWantMyMommy starts crying for his mother]], one of the veteran inmates calls out "[[MoodWhiplash I've had your mother, she wasn't that great!]]"
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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
** The library includes [[BrickJoke a decently-sized collection of]] Music/Hank Williams [[BrickJoke music]], which Heywood is shown happily singing along to. [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Much to the annoyance of another prisoner.]]
to:
** The library includes [[BrickJoke a decently-sized collection of]] Music/Hank Williams Music/HankWilliams [[BrickJoke music]], which Heywood is shown happily singing along to. [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Much to the annoyance of another prisoner.]]
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* Poor Heywood.
to:
* Poor Heywood.[[ButtMonkey Heywood]].
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* Heywood, of all people, gets a pretty good crack when overhearing Hadley's bitching about [[EntitledBastard inheriting $35,000 from his dead brother.]]
-->'''Heywood:''' [[SarcasmMode Poor Byron. Terrible fuckin' luck, huh?]]
-->'''Red:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Cryin' shame. Some people really got it awful.]]
-->'''Heywood:''' [[SarcasmMode Poor Byron. Terrible fuckin' luck, huh?]]
-->'''Red:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Cryin' shame. Some people really got it awful.]]
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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
** The library includes [[BrickJoke a decent collection of Hank Williams music]], which Heywood is shown happily singing along to. [[FunnyBackgroundMoment Much to the annoyance of another prisoner.]]
to:
** The library includes [[BrickJoke a decent decently-sized collection of Hank of]] Music/Hank Williams [[BrickJoke music]], which Heywood is shown happily singing along to. [[FunnyBackgroundMoment [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Much to the annoyance of another prisoner.]]
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Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
** Becomes HilariousInHindsight, as part of the prison break in the Literature/TheCountOfMonteCristo involves a hidden tunnel, like the one Andy would eventually make. He took Red's suggestion to heart.
to:
** The library includes [[BrickJoke a decent collection of Hank Williams music]], which Heywood is shown happily singing along to. [[FunnyBackgroundMoment Much to the annoyance of another prisoner.]]
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Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. Big! DAMN! '''CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including [[Creator/RitaHayworth HER!]]
to:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. Big! DAMN! '''CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND '''''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' IT!!''''' Including [[Creator/RitaHayworth HER!]]
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** While "Fat Ass" breaks down and starts [[IWantMyMommy starts crying for his mother]], one of the veteran inmates calls out "[[MoodWhiplash I've had your mother, she wasn't that great!]]"
** When Hadley comes out to quiet down the noisy inmates, bellowing "What in Christ's sake is this happy horseshit?", one particularly brave random inmate gets off the absolute zinger of a line, "[[DeadpanSnarker He took the Lord's name in vain! I'm telling]] [[TheFundamentalist the Warden]]!"
** When Hadley comes out to quiet down the noisy inmates, bellowing "What in Christ's sake is this happy horseshit?", one particularly brave random inmate gets off the absolute zinger of a line, "[[DeadpanSnarker He took the Lord's name in vain! I'm telling]] [[TheFundamentalist the Warden]]!"
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*** Not Rita. By 1966, it was lovely [[OneMillionYearsBC Raquel]].
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** Becomes HilariousInHindsight, as part of the prison break in the Literature/TheCountOfMonteCristo involves a hidden tunnel, like the one Andy would eventually make. He took Red's suggestion to heart.
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Changed line(s) 43 (click to see context) from:
* Andy offering to help Hadley avoid paying taxes on his inheritance is HilariousInHindsight when you realize that Clancy Brown also played [[WesternAnimation SpongeBobSquarepants Mr. Krabs]], who was famously stingy with his money.
to:
* Andy offering to help Hadley avoid paying taxes on his inheritance is HilariousInHindsight when you realize that Clancy Brown also played [[WesternAnimation SpongeBobSquarepants [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarepants Mr. Krabs]], who was famously stingy with his money.
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** What's funny is that, in a way, he was actually right about Rita's involvement. [[StealthPun She was helping with the cover-up.]]
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* Andy offering to help Hadley avoid paying taxes on his inheritance is HilariousInHindsight when you realize that Clancy Brown also played [[WesternAnimation SpongeBobSquarepants Mr. Krabs]], who was famously stingy with his money.
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. Big! DAMN! '''CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
to:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. Big! DAMN! '''CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER![[Creator/RitaHayworth HER!]]
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
* Red: "Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to."
to:
* Red: "Andy crawled [[spoiler:crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to."]]"
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
Red: "Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to."
to:
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Red: "Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to."
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. BIG! '''DAMN CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
to:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One. BIG! '''DAMN CONSPIRACY'''! Big! DAMN! '''CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One-BIG-'''DAMN CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
to:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One-BIG-'''DAMN One. BIG! '''DAMN CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One - BIG - '''DAMN CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
to:
-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One - BIG - '''DAMN One-BIG-'''DAMN CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
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-->'''Norton:''' Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind! Nothing left but damn rocks on the windowsill. And that cupcake on the wall. Let's ask her. Maybe she knows. What say there, fuzzy britches? Feel like talking? Aw, guess not. Why should she be any different? This is a conspiracy. That's what this is. One - BIG - '''DAMN CONSPIRACY'''! '''AND EVERYONE'S IN ON IT!!''' Including HER!
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* [[ButtMonkey Poor Heywood.]]
** Red suggests getting Andy a gift, and his friends agree. Remembering that Andy had been planning to make his own chess set, he says, "[[BadassBookworm Guy likes to play chess.]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext Let's get him some rocks.]]" Heywood nods agreeingly...but then the phrase sinks in and he looks puzzled, turning to Red like a lost puppy.
** Red suggests getting Andy a gift, and his friends agree. Remembering that Andy had been planning to make his own chess set, he says, "[[BadassBookworm Guy likes to play chess.]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext Let's get him some rocks.]]" Heywood nods agreeingly...but then the phrase sinks in and he looks puzzled, turning to Red like a lost puppy.
to:
* [[ButtMonkey Poor Heywood.]]
Heywood.
** Red suggests getting Andy a gift, and his friends agree. Remembering that Andy had been planning to make his own chess set, he says,"[[BadassBookworm Guy "Guy likes to play chess.]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext chess. Let's get him some rocks.]]" " Heywood nods agreeingly...but then the phrase sinks in and he looks puzzled, turning to Red like a lost puppy.
** Red suggests getting Andy a gift, and his friends agree. Remembering that Andy had been planning to make his own chess set, he says,
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'''Red''': A [[RoadApples horse apple]].\\
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'''Red''': A [[RoadApples horse apple]].apple.\\
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'''Andy''': ''[[Creator/AlexandreDumas Dumas]]''. You know what it's about? You'll like it. It's about [[ShoutOut a prison break]].\\
to:
'''Andy''': ''[[Creator/AlexandreDumas Dumas]]''. You know what it's about? You'll like it. It's about [[ShoutOut a prison break]].break.\\
Changed line(s) 29,31 (click to see context) from:
* The day the prison receives a shipment of books, they come with a letter for Andy, who's been sending letters to libraries asking for funding. It closes with, "We now consider the matter closed; please stop sending us letters!" [[{{Determinator}} Not only does he not listen,]] he decides to start sending them ''[[UpToEleven two]]'' [[UpToEleven letters a week from then on.]]
** The end result: [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Andy wins and the library gets expanded.]]
* "On the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. [[HadToComeToPrisonToBeACrook I had to come to prison to be a crook.]]" Red's reaction is great.
** The end result: [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Andy wins and the library gets expanded.]]
* "On the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. [[HadToComeToPrisonToBeACrook I had to come to prison to be a crook.]]" Red's reaction is great.
to:
* The day the prison receives a shipment of books, they come with a letter for Andy, who's been sending letters to libraries asking for funding. It closes with, "We now consider the matter closed; please stop sending us letters!" [[{{Determinator}} Not only does he not listen,]] listen, he decides to start sending them ''[[UpToEleven two]]'' [[UpToEleven ''two'' letters a week from then on.]]
on.
** The end result:[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Andy wins and the library gets expanded.]]
expanded.
* "On the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow.[[HadToComeToPrisonToBeACrook I had {{had to come to prison to be a crook.]]" crook}}." Red's reaction is great.
** The end result:
* "On the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow.
Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tommy:''' So I'm backin' out the door, right? Had the TV like this... ''[Mimes his grip]'' Big ol' thing. Couldn't see shit. Suddenly, there's this voice: "Freeze, kid! Hands in the air!" Well, I just stand there holdin' on to that TV, so the voice says, "You hear what I said, boy?" And I say, [[MortonsFork "Yes, sir; I sure did; but if I drop this fuckin' thing, you got me on 'Destruction of Property,' too!"]]
to:
-->'''Tommy:''' So I'm backin' out the door, right? Had the TV like this... ''[Mimes his grip]'' Big ol' thing. Couldn't see shit. Suddenly, there's this voice: "Freeze, kid! Hands in the air!" Well, I just stand there holdin' on to that TV, so the voice says, "You hear what I said, boy?" And I say, [[MortonsFork "Yes, sir; I sure did; but if I drop this fuckin' thing, you got me on 'Destruction of Property,' too!"]]too!"
Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:
** Um.... [[HarsherInHindsight ouch.]]
to:
** Um.... [[HarsherInHindsight ouch.]]
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--->'''Red:''' I like to think the last thing that went through his head-- other than that bullet-- was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
* Norton's VillainousBreakdown after discovering [[spoiler: Andy's escape.]] What makes it so great is when he [[spoiler: starts throwing rocks around]] Hadley and Red, the sadistic prison guard and the old prisoner, [[ATruceWhileWeGawk have the exact same expression of befuddlement]] at both the situation and Norton's behavior.
* Andy's first conversation with Red brings up the RunningGag of the in-mates saying they weren't guilty and were only incarcerated because their lawyers screwed them over. When Tommy joins the crew, Andy remembers exactly what Heywood said as a response: "Me? A lawyer fucked me." The look on Heywood's face is an expression that can't really be described with certainty.
* Norton's VillainousBreakdown after discovering [[spoiler: Andy's escape.]] What makes it so great is when he [[spoiler: starts throwing rocks around]] Hadley and Red, the sadistic prison guard and the old prisoner, [[ATruceWhileWeGawk have the exact same expression of befuddlement]] at both the situation and Norton's behavior.
* Andy's first conversation with Red brings up the RunningGag of the in-mates saying they weren't guilty and were only incarcerated because their lawyers screwed them over. When Tommy joins the crew, Andy remembers exactly what Heywood said as a response: "Me? A lawyer fucked me." The look on Heywood's face is an expression that can't really be described with certainty.
to:
--->'''Red:''' I like to think the last thing that went through his head-- head -- other than that bullet-- bullet -- was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
* Norton's VillainousBreakdown after discovering [[spoiler: Andy's escape.]] What makes it so great is when he [[spoiler: starts throwing rocks around]] Hadley and Red, the sadistic prison guard and the old prisoner,[[ATruceWhileWeGawk have the exact same expression of befuddlement]] befuddlement at both the situation and Norton's behavior.
* Andy's first conversation with Red brings up the RunningGag of thein-mates inmates saying they weren't guilty and were only incarcerated because their lawyers screwed them over. When Tommy joins the crew, Andy remembers exactly what Heywood said as a response: "Me? A lawyer fucked me." The look on Heywood's face is an expression that can't really be described with certainty.
* Norton's VillainousBreakdown after discovering [[spoiler: Andy's escape.]] What makes it so great is when he [[spoiler: starts throwing rocks around]] Hadley and Red, the sadistic prison guard and the old prisoner,
* Andy's first conversation with Red brings up the RunningGag of the
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* [[SarcasmMode Poor]] [[ButtMonkey Heywood.]]
to:
----
*[[SarcasmMode Poor]] [[ButtMonkey Poor Heywood.]]
*
Changed line(s) 35,36 (click to see context) from:
** And while we're on the subject of BlackComedy...
--->'''Red:''' I like to think the last thing that went through [the Warden's] head-- other than that bullet-- was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
--->'''Red:''' I like to think the last thing that went through [the Warden's] head-- other than that bullet-- was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
to:
** And while we're on the subject of BlackComedy...
BlackComedy... here's Red talking about [[spoiler:Warden Norton after he splatters his brains all over the wall.]]
--->'''Red:''' I like to think the last thing that went through[the Warden's] his head-- other than that bullet-- was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
--->'''Red:''' I like to think the last thing that went through