History Funny / TheLongestDay

* The Mayor of Colleville (Creator/{{Bourvil}}) welcomes the British soldiers at Sword Beach with a bottle of Champagne, wearing a fireman helmet on his head and speaking English with a thick French accent.

* Early on we see one of the French Resistance members listening to a secret broadcast while eating dinner. When he hears the code-phrase indicating the invasion is coming ("John has a long mustache"), he's so happy that he first nearly runs out with an army helmet on, then almost forgets to put the radio away...then, after he's left, his wife realizes he didn't turn it off. And all the while he's deliriously repeating "John has a long mustache!" Were you not clued into the significance of the phrase, you'd think he was just a crazy old man who is very enthusiastic about facial hair.
* An entire German checkpoint getting DistractedByTheSexy when resistance member Janine Boitard (Irina Demick) [[https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZTMyYjc5NjQtODI0Ni00ZGMzLTkwNmQtM2VkODA1YzdkMDdkXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTAyNDQ2NjI@._V1_.jpg rides up on her bicycle]] with a low-cut blouse to help her compatriot smuggle downed Allied airmen through in a hay cart. ''Especially'' when the Germans get annoyed by the other's request for clearance drawing their attention away from flirting with her.

** A Bren-Carrier is having engine trouble.

* An overweight Wehrmacht sergeant (Creator/GertFrobe) is minding his own business delivering coffee to the bunkers as he does every morning, he then sees the huge allied invasion fleet steaming off the coast of Normandy [[OhCrap just before the bombardment opens up]]. His reaction is understandable.

** And as he's opening his champagne bottle, the Mayor giddily comments, "I don't there will be enough for everyone!"

-->"My old grandmother used to say, 'Anything mechanical, [[PercussiveMaintenance give it a good bash]]'." (''whacks vehicle with shillelagh - engine starts, much to everyone's surprise'')

* Everything out of Sean Connery's mouth. "The evil of it all, trying to drown a man before he's had a chance to fight! Ah, come on!"

** Twinned with the Frenchman who watches Fröbe deliver the coffee every morning. He's ecstatically waving his tricolore flag from his window even as the naval bombardment is tearing his house down.

* An overweight Wehrmacht sergeant (Creator/GertFrobe) is minding his own business delivering coffee to the bunkers, he then sees the huge allied invasion fleet steaming off the coast of Normandy [[OhCrap just before the bombardment opens up]]. His reaction is understandable.

* UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler and his top brass carry the IdiotBall.

* A British paratrooper crawling out of the river near Sainte-Mère-Église sees a uniformed priest who keeps diving back underwater. Because he dropped his ''communion case'' somewhere in the river. The trooper can only gawk as the priest bids him carry on, he'll only be a few minutes. All of this is occurring while the pair are under fire from the Germans. Eventually the trooper can't help but assist the priest look for the case.
-->'''Priest:''' I've got it! I've got it!

-->'''Priest:''' Now, my son, let's go about God's work this night.

--->'''Heinz''': It's getting very difficult to get any sleep around here!

--->'''Priller''': [[GallowHumour Your prospects for a long sleep]] [[DeadpanSnarker are excellent]].

** Then, after he and his copilot obeyed the order and conducted a pointless strafing of the beach on which hundreds of Allied soldiers are landing.

-->'''Priller:''' You were a lousy pilot when we flew into Russia. Now you're flying a desk ''and you're still a lousy pilot!''

-->'''Priller:''' What the hell can I do with two planes?!

-->'''Priller:''' Back home, Bergsdorf. ''(laughs)'' That was the Luftwaffe's greatest moment! ''(laughs louder)''

* Col. Josef 'Pips' Priller (to his commanding officer): "You were a lousy pilot when we flew into Russia. Now you're flying a desk ''and you're still a lousy pilot!''"
** Later when ordered to attack the invasion force, he actually laughs at his commander, demanding "What the hell can I do with two planes?!"

* Early on we see one of the French Resistance members listening to a secret broadcast while eating dinner. When he hears the code-phrase indicating the invasion is coming ("John has a long mustache"), he's so happy that he first nearly runs out with an army helmet on, then almost forgets to put the radio away...then, after he's left, his wife realizes he didn't turn it off. And all the while he's deliriously repeating "John has a long mustache!"

* The glider-landed troops assaulting the bridges have taken casualties, and what's worse, their medic is missing after the glider he was in dropped into a swamp. Suddenly, with the germans still holding one end of the bridge, the missing medic calmly jogs across the bridge ''from the german side''. When his CO asks what the hell he was doing over there the medic (who has just gone through enemy lines and an ongoing gunfight) responds with a very, very british "Sir, anybody can make a mistake".

* A Bren-Carrier is having engine trouble.

* An entire German checkpoint getting DistractedByTheSexy when resistance member Janine Boitard (Irina Demick) rides up on her bicycle with a low-cut blouse to help her compatriot smuggle downed Allied airmen through in a hay cart. ''Especially'' when the Germans get annoyed by the other's request for clearance drawing their attention away from flirting with her.

* The Mayor of Colleville (Creator/{{Bourvil}}) welcomes the British soldiers at Sword Beach with a bottle of Champagne, wearing a fireman helmet on his head and speaking English with a heavy French accent.

* The Mayor of Colleville (Creator/{{Bourvil}}) welcomes the British soldiers at Sword Beach with a bottle of Champagne, wearing a fireman helmet on his head.

--> "My old grandmother used to say, 'Anything mechanical, [[PercussiveMaintenance give it a good bash]]'." (''whacks vehicle with shillelagh - engine starts, much to everyone's surprise'')
* (''after seeing the Mayor of Colleville(Creator/{{Bourvil}}) welcoming them with a bottle of Champagne'') "[[{{Understatement}} If you ask me, Flanagan, there's a lot of very peculiar blokes on this beach.]]"

* "[[{{Understatement}} If you ask me, Flanagan, there's a lot of very peculiar blokes on this beach.]]"