History Funny / TheBible

2nd Dec '16 7:05:44 PM ImperialMajestyXO
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--> *Thousands of years later, Satoshi Tajiri is inspired to make ''Pokemon'' after reading this excerpt from the Bible*

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--> *Thousands of years later, Satoshi Tajiri Creator/SatoshiTajiri is inspired to make ''Pokemon'' after reading this excerpt from the Bible*
27th Oct '16 10:28:31 AM Mhazard
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Added DiffLines:

* Job 38:35: Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go and say to you, ‘Here we are’? Yea, we call it [[ScienceMarchesOn Telecommunication]], or [[PhoneTropes Telephone]], or perhaps [[RuleOfThree Television]].
** The Internet, and TVTropes itself, is essentially this.
11th Oct '16 11:50:51 PM Mhazard
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* A meta example, try [[https://youtu.be/Kz0TOQ1BF-M?t=2m6s searching the word "ass" in the Bible]]. Since the word "ass" can also mean "donkeys", it is used in some older versions of the Bible. But if you see it as the other kind of "[[DoubleEntendre ass]]", it's ''downright hilarious''.

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* A meta example, try [[https://youtu.be/Kz0TOQ1BF-M?t=2m6s searching the word "ass" in the Bible]]. Since the word "ass" can also mean "donkeys", it is [[HaveAGayOldTime used in some older versions of the Bible.Bible]]. But if you see it as the other kind of "[[DoubleEntendre ass]]", it's ''downright hilarious''.
8th Oct '16 2:46:24 AM Mhazard
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* A meta example, try [[https://youtu.be/Kz0TOQ1BF-M?t=2m6s searching the word "ass" in the Bible]]. Since the word "ass" can also mean "donkeys", it is used in some older versions of the Bible. But if you see it as the other kind of "[[DoubleEbtendre ass]]", it's ''downright hilarious''.

to:

* A meta example, try [[https://youtu.be/Kz0TOQ1BF-M?t=2m6s searching the word "ass" in the Bible]]. Since the word "ass" can also mean "donkeys", it is used in some older versions of the Bible. But if you see it as the other kind of "[[DoubleEbtendre "[[DoubleEntendre ass]]", it's ''downright hilarious''.
8th Oct '16 2:46:13 AM Mhazard
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-->Then the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes."

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-->Then the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.""
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* A meta example, try [[https://youtu.be/Kz0TOQ1BF-M?t=2m6s searching the word "ass" in the Bible]]. Since the word "ass" can also mean "donkeys", it is used in some older versions of the Bible. But if you see it as the other kind of "[[DoubleEbtendre ass]]", it's ''downright hilarious''.
14th Sep '16 1:47:17 PM Whoa15
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* Chapter 13 of Jeremiah has a very interesting message from the Lord. He tells Jeremiah to go buy a pair of linen undergarments, then put them on. Then He tells Jeremiah to take them off and leave them in water for a while, so that they won't fit. It actually includes the line "Just as undergarments are supposed to fit close to the body, so my people are supposed to fit close to me." It's a very surreal comparison.

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* Chapter 13 of Jeremiah has a very interesting message from the Lord. He tells Jeremiah to go buy a pair of linen undergarments, then put them on. Then He tells Jeremiah to take them off and leave them in water for a while, so that they won't fit. It actually includes the line "Just as undergarments are supposed to fit close to the body, so my people are supposed to fit close to me." It's a very surreal comparison.comparison.
* Hosea 3:1 God commands Hosea to go love his unfaithful wife
-->Then the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes."
28th Aug '16 8:38:15 AM Macgyver644200
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----

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* Chapter 13 of Jeremiah has a very interesting message from the Lord. He tells Jeremiah to go buy a pair of linen undergarments, then put them on. Then He tells Jeremiah to take them off and leave them in water for a while, so that they won't fit. It actually includes the line "Just as undergarments are supposed to fit close to the body, so my people are supposed to fit close to me." It's a very surreal comparison.
4th Jul '16 11:17:15 PM Twoeyesshort
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** One can imagine this as the exact way Pharoh said it:
--> ''Pharaoh:'' Send six hundred of my [[EliteMooks best chariots ]] after them!
--> ''Scribe:'' *scribbles furiously*
--> ''Pharoh:'' Actually... No. Send AllOfThem.
--> ''Scribe:'' AllOfThem?
--> ''Pharaoh:'' AllOfThem.
--> ''Scribe:'' ...Crud. I've already written down six hundred...
--> ''[[BadBoss Pharaoh:]]'' Are you falsifying my orders?
--> ''Scribe:'' ...Aaaand the rest.
22nd Apr '16 12:25:56 AM MoPete
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* Gideon had a dream of a [[FoodEatsYou giant loaf of bread destroying the enemy camp]].

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* Gideon had heard about a dream of a [[FoodEatsYou giant loaf of bread destroying the enemy camp]].
17th Mar '16 4:03:18 PM Raxis
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* The actual wording when the Pharaoh deploys his soldiers to capture the escaping Isrealites. He's mentioned as sending six hundred of the best chariots of Egypt, [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg along with all the]] [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment rest of the chariots in Egypt.]]

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* The actual wording when the Pharaoh deploys his soldiers to capture the escaping Isrealites. Isrealites in ''Exodus''. He's mentioned as sending six hundred of the best chariots of in Egypt, [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg along with all the]] [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment rest of the chariots in Egypt.]]
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheBible