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* At the very beginning, the boys attempt to persuade Lucretia to let them do a "picking out summer fashions" montage before leaving. She desperately shoos them out of her office, but they do go to pick out some clothes to wear to the desert. Magnus rather sensibly chooses some plaid cargo shorts, Taako goes for a mauve skirt, and Merle buys a pair of ''camo print jodhpurs'' and has Garfield cut them down to knee-length for him. By the end of it, Garfield is ''also'' trying to get them to get the hell out.
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* At the very beginning, the boys attempt to persuade Lucretia to let them do a "picking out summer fashions" montage before leaving. She desperately shoos them out of her office, but they do go to pick out some clothes to wear to the desert. Magnus rather sensibly chooses some plaid camo-print cargo shorts, Taako goes for a mauve skirt, and Merle buys a pair of ''camo print ''plaid jodhpurs'' and has Garfield cut them down to knee-length for him.him to make "jort-purs". By the end of it, Garfield is ''also'' trying to get them to get the hell out.
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* At the very beginning, the boys attempt to persuade Lucretia to let them do a "picking out summer fashions" montage before leaving. She desperately shoos them out of her office, but they do go to pick out some clothes to wear to the desert. Magnus rather sensibly chooses some plaid cargo shorts, Taako goes for a mauve skirt, and Merle buys a pair of ''camo print jodhpurs'' and has Garfield cut them down to knee-length for him. By the end of it, Garfield is ''also'' trying to get them to get the hell out.
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* Everyone's reaction to "I cast INSECT SWARM!" and how Clint justifies this as a spell to use on a heist.
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** Angus is initially amazed by it, but then Taako casts Prestidigitation to make it look like his nose really ''is'' gone...
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[[folder: Live in Nashville!]]
* Lup recruits Taako, Magnus, and Merle to help her pull off a [[TheCaper casino heist]]... so she can [[RunningGag finally get that $15 back from Greg Grimaldis]].
** While she explains the plan to them, Magnus makes this brilliant observation:
--->'''Magnus:''' Oh shit, a stealth mission, huh?
--->'''Lup:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Yes, most heists are.]]
** Barry, who is otherwise not involved in the episode in any way, serves them all hot chocolate, apparently unbothered by the fact that his family is planning a risky interdimensional casino robbery.
* During the planning stage, Lup impresses upon the boys how important it is that they ''only'' take the $15 from the casino's vault and nothing else. GilliganCut to her in the casino's vault announcing that she's going to steal ''everything''.
* The audience cheers at basically any mention of Lup, prompting Travis to sarcastically ask [[EnsembleDarkhorse if the fans all like Lup]]. They cheer even louder, so Travis asks if they like Lup more than Tres Horny Boys, to which several audience members ''and Griffin'' respond with an enthusiastic yes.
* Magnus gets hit for a whopping 77 points of damage but is able to use Parry to decrease the damage by 8. There's a {{Beat}} while everyone does the math in their heads, and then the audience and players all promptly lose their minds.[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke 77 minus 8 is 69.]][[/note]]
[[/folder]]
* Lup recruits Taako, Magnus, and Merle to help her pull off a [[TheCaper casino heist]]... so she can [[RunningGag finally get that $15 back from Greg Grimaldis]].
** While she explains the plan to them, Magnus makes this brilliant observation:
--->'''Magnus:''' Oh shit, a stealth mission, huh?
--->'''Lup:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Yes, most heists are.]]
** Barry, who is otherwise not involved in the episode in any way, serves them all hot chocolate, apparently unbothered by the fact that his family is planning a risky interdimensional casino robbery.
* During the planning stage, Lup impresses upon the boys how important it is that they ''only'' take the $15 from the casino's vault and nothing else. GilliganCut to her in the casino's vault announcing that she's going to steal ''everything''.
* The audience cheers at basically any mention of Lup, prompting Travis to sarcastically ask [[EnsembleDarkhorse if the fans all like Lup]]. They cheer even louder, so Travis asks if they like Lup more than Tres Horny Boys, to which several audience members ''and Griffin'' respond with an enthusiastic yes.
* Magnus gets hit for a whopping 77 points of damage but is able to use Parry to decrease the damage by 8. There's a {{Beat}} while everyone does the math in their heads, and then the audience and players all promptly lose their minds.[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke 77 minus 8 is 69.]][[/note]]
[[/folder]]
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* When Cassidy finally stops running long enough to let Merle talk to her, he smiles at her gently... and belts out a parody of "Hello" from Theatre/TheBookOfMormon. Unfortunately, it doesn't have the desired effect of calming her down, considering her response is to bash him over the head with a shovel.
--> '''Merle:''' Pan loves you anyways!
--> '''Merle:''' Pan loves you anyways!
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* Early on, the party come to the conclusion that things would be going better if they had another party member, and the brothers jokingly ask Clint to make them a new sibling. Clint takes the opportunity to inform them that there is, in fact, a fourth brother... [[spoiler:named Jon Snow.]] When they ask him how long he'd been waiting to say that, he confesses that he'd had it planned since the second episode.
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** Even better is Magnus' reaction:
--->'''Magnus:''' Now, to be fair, Merle, I think we would both agree that Taako would want to die after making that joke, so we should just let him go peacefully into that good night.
** Justin also justifies Taako being able to say this line while unconscious because "I can't say cool shit twenty minutes after we kill someone, and with the fuckin' Marx Brothers over here, it could be upwards of thirty."
--->'''Magnus:''' Now, to be fair, Merle, I think we would both agree that Taako would want to die after making that joke, so we should just let him go peacefully into that good night.
** Justin also justifies Taako being able to say this line while unconscious because "I can't say cool shit twenty minutes after we kill someone, and with the fuckin' Marx Brothers over here, it could be upwards of thirty."
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* Magnus jumping into the anti-gravity room and singing about how magical it is to fly.
-->'''Magnus:''' It's everythiiiing I dreeeamed it would beee! I feel aliiiive for the first tiiiime!
-->'''Magnus:''' It's everythiiiing I dreeeamed it would beee! I feel aliiiive for the first tiiiime!
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** As Merle's trick-shot rebounds and smacks Leon in the face, his frustration boils over.
-->'''Leon''': AH, GOD, JUST PICK IT UP, PLEASE, and put it in the machine! Please! I'm dying. I'm in hell. I'm in hell and you're Satan!
-->'''Leon''': AH, GOD, JUST PICK IT UP, PLEASE, and put it in the machine! Please! I'm dying. I'm in hell. I'm in hell and you're Satan!
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--> '''Rascal''': TIME FOR RASCAL TO FLY TO JESUS!
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'''Taako:''' I have something that I think is ''really'' gonna interest you.\\
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'''Taako:''' [[WhamLine I have something that I think is ''really'' is]] ''[[WhamLine really]]'' [[WhamLine gonna interest you.\\]]\\
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-->'''Taako''': I'm following Angus; I'll see you all in hell!
-->'''Taako''': I wanna tell you a story about the time that there were tree ogres, and one of the hit me so hard I almost ''died!'' You were sitting up on some weird laser, just shooting flasks willy-nilly, and Travis was ripping the arms off a robot, and I got punched so hard I almost died! I'm not gonna go toe-to-toe with a crab while you're armed with a terrible Scottish accent and Travis doesn't even have a shield!
-->'''Taako''': I wanna tell you a story about the time that there were tree ogres, and one of the hit me so hard I almost ''died!'' You were sitting up on some weird laser, just shooting flasks willy-nilly, and Travis was ripping the arms off a robot, and I got punched so hard I almost died! I'm not gonna go toe-to-toe with a crab while you're armed with a terrible Scottish accent and Travis doesn't even have a shield!
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-->'''Conductor''': Why, [[DoubleEntendre your package is in the caboose]], sir.
to:
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* Taako abuses the poor train conductor:
-->'''Taako''': I'm sorry, where did you say our package was again?
-->'''Conductor''': Why, [[DoubleEntendre your package is in the caboose]], sir.
-->'''Taako''': (''Uncontrollable giggling'')
-->'''Taako''': I'm sorry, where did you say our package was again?
-->'''Conductor''': Why, [[DoubleEntendre your package is in the caboose]], sir.
-->'''Taako''': (''Uncontrollable giggling'')
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* [[BlackComedy Travis inviting Angus into the pleasure room with him.]]
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* The reaction of everyone involved in [[spoiler: the [[StatingTheSimpleSolution collective realization that Lucretia could've just sealed away The Hunger with her barrier instead of risking reality's bonds.]]]]
to:
* The reaction of everyone involved in [[spoiler: the [[StatingTheSimpleSolution collective realization that Lucretia could've just sealed away formed a seal around The Hunger with her barrier instead of risking reality's bonds.slicing one livable plane out of reality.]]]]
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* The ''glorious'' return of fan favorite character [[spoiler:Hodge-Podge]] as the demi-lich behind Lucas' simulation being hijacked.
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* The group's discovery during the tardigrade fight that Taako has a +7 modifier to Acrobatics
-->'''Griffin:''' You're a fuckin' flip wizard and you haven't done ANYTHING with that!
-->'''Griffin:''' You're a fuckin' flip wizard and you haven't done ANYTHING with that!
Deleted line(s) 159 (click to see context) :
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* The episode starts InMediasRes, with Tres Horny Boys inside The TabletopGame/TombOfHorrors, Lucas' voice talking from nowhere, and various members of the Bureau typing into a Twitch-style audience chat. When Justin asks Griffin to explain, Griffin insists he ask in-character, leading to:
to:
* The episode starts InMediasRes, with Tres Horny Boys inside a simulation of The TabletopGame/TombOfHorrors, Lucas' voice talking from nowhere, and various members of the Bureau typing into a Twitch-style audience chat. When Justin asks Griffin to explain, Griffin insists he ask in-character, leading to:
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* The episode starts InMediasRes, with Tres Horny Boys inside The TabletopGame/TombOfHorrors, Lucas' voice talking from nowhere, and various members of the Bureau typing into a Twitch-style audience chat. When Justin asks Griffin to explain, Griffin insists he ask in-character, leading to:
-->'''Taako''': Hey, Lucas, remind me again why we're here?
-->'''Lucas''': Wait, you don't remember?
--->'''Justin''': Fuck off.
-->'''Taako''': Hey, Lucas, remind me again why we're here?
-->'''Lucas''': Wait, you don't remember?
--->'''Justin''': Fuck off.
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[[folder: Live in San Diego!]]
* At one point the simulation glitches, and they're transported to a fishing game called "Big Bass Challenge". Things immediately go off the rails when Magnus punches Rascal the fisherman off the boat they're on into the water, where he then gets eaten by a giant bass.
** Things spiral out of control even further when Taako levitates part of the lake to create a column of water with fish swimming inside, including the giant bass. Magnus jumps in and tries to cut the bass open to save Rascal, but gets SwallowedWhole.
-->'''Griffin''': [[RunningGag IT'S NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS!]]
** The sequence culminates with Merle attempting to banish the bass (with Magnus still inside) to another plane of existence. The simulation doesn't know how to handle it, breaks down, and spits them out back into the Tomb of Horrors.
-->'''Griffin''': I didn't expect it to go like that...
-->'''Travis''': What did you expect to happen?
-->'''Griffin''': You to [[SuddenlyShouting CATCH A FUCKING FISH]] IN THE ''FISH MINIGAME!'' Am I out of my ''mind'', is that an unreasonable expectation!?
[[/folder]]
* At one point the simulation glitches, and they're transported to a fishing game called "Big Bass Challenge". Things immediately go off the rails when Magnus punches Rascal the fisherman off the boat they're on into the water, where he then gets eaten by a giant bass.
** Things spiral out of control even further when Taako levitates part of the lake to create a column of water with fish swimming inside, including the giant bass. Magnus jumps in and tries to cut the bass open to save Rascal, but gets SwallowedWhole.
-->'''Griffin''': [[RunningGag IT'S NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS!]]
** The sequence culminates with Merle attempting to banish the bass (with Magnus still inside) to another plane of existence. The simulation doesn't know how to handle it, breaks down, and spits them out back into the Tomb of Horrors.
-->'''Griffin''': I didn't expect it to go like that...
-->'''Travis''': What did you expect to happen?
-->'''Griffin''': You to [[SuddenlyShouting CATCH A FUCKING FISH]] IN THE ''FISH MINIGAME!'' Am I out of my ''mind'', is that an unreasonable expectation!?
[[/folder]]
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* When spinning a machine for magical items, Taako starts playing up his stupidity, first not knowing where the coin slot is, and then forcing the aggravated cashier to repeatedly tell him which way to turn the handle.
-->'''Cashier:''' To the right. To the ''right.'' To the ''RIGHT''. Okay, we're doing the goddamn Cupid Shuffle now.
-->'''Cashier:''' To the right. To the ''right.'' To the ''RIGHT''. Okay, we're doing the goddamn Cupid Shuffle now.
to:
* When spinning a machine for magical items, Taako starts playing up his stupidity, first not knowing where the coin slot is, and then forcing the an aggravated cashier Leon to repeatedly tell him which way to turn the handle.
-->'''Cashier:''' -->'''Leon:''' To the right. To the ''right.'' To the ''RIGHT''. Okay, we're doing the goddamn Cupid Shuffle now.
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* When spinning a machine for magical items, Taako starts playing up his stupidity, first not knowing where the coin slot is, and then forcing the aggravated cashier to repeatedly tell him which way to turn the handle.
-->'''Cashier:''' To the right. To the ''right.'' To the ''RIGHT''. Okay, we're doing the goddamn Cupid Shuffle now.
-->'''Cashier:''' To the right. To the ''right.'' To the ''RIGHT''. Okay, we're doing the goddamn Cupid Shuffle now.
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* Magnus' oral report for Music Appreciation class is about "One Week" by BarenakedLadies.
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* Magnus' oral report for Music Appreciation class is about "One Week" by BarenakedLadies.''Music/BarenakedLadies''.
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* Lucretia sends the three on a mission to recover seven magical artifacts. Taako requests to know upfront if the seventh one is going to be "love" and was inside them the whole time.
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'''[[Funny/TheAdventureZone Funny Index]]'''
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--> Griffin: Make a fucking constitution saving throw to see if you can swallow this ''fucking rock'' that you're trying to ''eat'' with your ''mouth'' and put in your body.
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--> Griffin: '''Griffin''': Make a fucking constitution saving throw to see if you can swallow this ''fucking rock'' that you're trying to ''eat'' with your ''mouth'' and put in your body.body.
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** Breaking [[http://derkeethass.tumblr.com/post/149729507189 that scene]] down there is ''so much'' to it. The Stone is being held by [[spoiler: Lucas's mother Maureen]], who's upset about their treatment of Lucas. By saying he can fix things and rolling a high Persuade score Magnus gets her to hand it over, at which point it speaks in a "Joe Pesci-ass voice" trying to get him to use it to turn the world to gold so he could "line your pockets" and "buy all the candies and sweets you want". Magnus ''instantly'' puts it in a glove and tries to eat it, which makes Griffin squawk "What the ''fuck''." He tries to convince Travis that this is only going to end badly [[spoiler: but Travis just goes on with it, and]] a minute or so later admits that yeah this was a stupid idea but he'd been really committed to eating a rock.
--> Griffin: Make a fucking constitution saving throw to see if you can swallow this ''fucking rock'' that you're trying to ''eat'' with your ''mouth'' and put in your body.
-->'''The Philosopher's Stone''': "Hey, Magnus, is it weird that I’m kinda into [[EatenAlive this?]] I'm learning all kinds of stuff about myself right now."
--> Griffin: Make a fucking constitution saving throw to see if you can swallow this ''fucking rock'' that you're trying to ''eat'' with your ''mouth'' and put in your body.
-->'''The Philosopher's Stone''': "Hey, Magnus, is it weird that I’m kinda into [[EatenAlive this?]] I'm learning all kinds of stuff about myself right now."
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We can't just say "the entire damn Podcast," so some select moments are below:
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:In General]]
* Magnus "The Hammer" Burnside's tendency to leap into action without thinking more often than not ends with [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensuing]]. Ironically this is compounded by Travis's tendency to try and have Magnus do something awesome rather than simply hit things until they go away (which doesn't always work anyway). Due to the RandomNumberGod this ends in embarrassment as often as it succeeds.
* Taako's overarching quest is to unlock the ancient Elvish secret of...the taco. [[spoiler: And when he finally gets it, obtaining that secret is integral in ''saving the world''.]]
* Griffin's character voices are priceless at times. As are his attempts to try and keep them all straight in his head.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Here Be Gerblins" Arc]]
* At the very beginning of the adventure:
--> '''Griffin:''' Merle, what are you doing?
--> '''Clint:''' I am probably studying my cantrips. I--
--> '''Travis:''' Just say masturbating, Dad! "Don't come in, Mom, I'm [[UnusualEuphemism studying my cantrips]]!"
* The conclusion of our heroes' first victory involves a confused moment in which Justin observes Clint trying to get out of his chair (despite still having his headphones in) so that he may perform a celebratory "murder dance," followed by proclaiming that he plans to eat all of Justin's shrimp. Justin is less than enthused, but this is a prime example to the listener of exactly what's to come for the series.
* In Wave Echo Cave, our heroes come upon a fungus that reacts to loud noises: namely, it releases a poisonous cloud whenever our [[IdiotHero Idiot Heroes]] talk above a whisper. Not only that, but they're attacked by a slime monster. Despite everyone being fully aware of the noise-triggered fungus, they all proceed to shout at each other for the rest of the combat.
* The party trying to stall and Yeemic becoming more and more agitated.
* By casting a CharmPerson spell on the monstrous Bugbear Klarg, our heroes gain a powerful ally. And it turns out Klarg is a hugger. And Bugbear fur is surprisingly soft and comfy.
* The Climactic Battle with the Black Spider aka Magic Brian ends with a SpotTheImposter game [[spoiler: that is easily resolved since Magic Brian didn't bother to disguise his ridiculous faux-German accent.]]
* In hot pursuit of [[spoiler: Artifact-possessed Gundren Rockseeker]], Magnus attempts to high-five their cart [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext to try and make it go faster]]. Taako finally gets sick of it and casts Sleep on him.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Moonlighting" Lunar Interlude]]
* Johann the Sad Bard plays a song for our heroes during their elevator ride, apparently the most beautiful music they've ever heard. Justin points out the {{Irony}} of them hearing the most beautiful song ever while riding in an elevator.
** When Griffin tries to impress upon the boys just how beautiful this song was, Travis asks him to compare it to [[Music/CarlyRaeJepsen "Call Me Maybe"]], and Griffin says they're equal. Travis, Justin, and Clint are suitably impressed.
* After drinking the Voidfish's...excretion and having their LaserGuidedAmnesia reversed, Taako has a flashback to his childhood, stirring cream on his grandfather Tostada's dairy farm. The cream has gone sour in the hot sun, revealing another piece of the Ancient Elvish Tex-Mex Mystery. The first thing out of Taako's mouth when he comes out of his trance is "Sour Cream!", which causes everyone to look at him funny.
* Griffin has apparently worked up a very elaborate backstory for the Bureau of Balance and the Voidfish, and he manages his InfoDump perfectly twice...then Clint pretends to have not heard it the second time and asks him to repeat it.
* After getting the bracers from Director Lucretia, the heroes ask what happens when they get all the relics and they don't need the bracers anymore.
-->'''Lucretia:''' [[DidntThinkThisThrough Oh shit.]]
* While haggling with the Fantasy Costco cashier:
-->'''Cashier:''' What am I gonna do with an armless robot and an old garbage axe?
-->'''Merle:''' You'll find some fool to buy them just like we're buying this stuff.
-->'''Cashier:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I don't appreciate the implication that I'm gonna wanna do sex stuff with this armless robot! That you're obviously trying to make! This implication, I mean!]]
** Later:
--->'''Cashier:''' Give me your gooey sheets, give me your sex robot, give me your garbage axe--
--->'''Justin:''' This is exactly what the Statue of Liberty says at the bottom, right?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Murder On The Rockport Limited" Arc]]
* Magnus is forced to drink a "dank potion" since he can't carry it on the flight. He instantly becomes a SentimentalDrunk, fawning over Bureau guard Avi.
* Griffin describes how the boys are caked in muck after the fight in the swamp:
--> '''Griffin:''' Dad, you look like some sort of weird shit monster--
--> '''Justin:''' And your character in this game looks pretty bad, too!
* The three players have to impersonate the murder victim, Leman Kessler, and his two bodyguards, but don't decide precisely who is who until Tom Bodett asks them their names. Merle immediately identifies himself as the murder victim, and the other two as his retainers Bo and Diddley. Taako interrupts, claiming to be someone named Leon Kessler, Flan Bodett, and ''Justin''.
* The endless taunting and harassment of [[MeaningfulName Jenkins]].
** [[LampshadeHanging The constant jabs at his voice.]]
** Taako going after him for carrying luggage as opposed to using spells and outright laughing at him. [[BrickJoke He doesn't stop.]]
* Griffin fails to improvise a name for Angus' grandfather, which he [[HandWave Hand Waves]] in-universe by having Angus claim that "[[TheNameless the memory of my grandfather's name died long before I was born.]]"
* Griffin forgot whether he gave Angus an age or not, but didn't break character, leading to this interesting conversation:
-->'''Taako''': Listen, look at us. We’re three grown men trusting a baby, with our secrets. We’re not professionals–
-->'''Angus''': I’m not a baby! I’m f– I’m a– I’m a– eight– what, how old–? I’m, ten– did I say how old I was last time?
-->'''Merle''': Ten.
-->'''Angus''': Ten it is!
* Justin's ScrewThisImOuttaHere rant as Taako flees from a crab monster.
* While interrogating Graham the Juicy Wizard, Magnus, playing Bad Cop to Taako's Good Cop, ends up smacking him a little too hard, forcing Merle to use a Healing spell on him. It turns out to be Clint's best roll to date in the game, meaning he just wasted a perfect spell on an NPC that they were slapping around for fun.
* Finding himself outnumbered and outgunned, [[spoiler:Jenkins]] tries to negotiate by pointing out that if they destroy his remaining Flesh Golem, they will have no way of stopping the train from crashing into Neverwinter. The party tells him to take a hike so he decides to [[TakingYouWithMe be dramatic]] by firing a spell at the golem himself...and getting a low roll that causes him to miss by a country mile. The next turn is by that same Flesh Golem...who immediately tosses [[spoiler:Jenkins]] off the train.
* The party discusses how to deal with the now RunawayTrain:
--> '''Clint''': Is it possible we can disconnect the locomotive from the rest of the train?
--> '''Griffin''': Yeah, but the locomotive is still gonna hit Neverwinter and it's gonna cause a lot of damage.
--> '''Clint''': [[DestructiveSavior Have you met us?]]
--> '''Justin''': [[SomebodyElsesProblem That's some other D&D game's problem.]]
--> '''Clint''': Yeah! Let 'em fix...
--> '''Griffin''': ''[Laughs]'' Wait a minute, wait a minute: "You have safely brought the princess back to her chambers in Neverwinter after besting the nineteen dragons of the Horrid Rim and- OH FUCK, A TRAIN!!! OH MY GOD NO A TRAIN JUST RAN INTO- Oh, God, no. Oh Jesus."
--> '''Justin''': I'm just living out my lifelong dream of reenacting the end of ''Film/SilverStreak''. It's all I've ever wanted.
* Toward the end of the arc, everyone starts choosing new character voices, to help distinguish when they're talking in character. Clint goes through a series of characters he used to do for radio, before settling on a "Creepy Youth Minister" voice for Merle.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Carnival Chaos" Lunar Interlude]]
* During the Midsummer carnival, our heroes head to the Fry Witch's stand, who can conjure and deep-fry anything you desire. Magnus asks for some specific unicorn parts: the penis and the horn. They're both difficult to eat, for very different reasons. And immediately after the weirdness on the Moon starts:
-->'''Clint''': And Magnus immediately assumes he got a hold of some bad unicorn dick.
* Lucretia's response to Magnus [[SlapYourselfAwake slapping her awake]]:
-->'''Griffin''': She slaps you back.
-->'''Lucretia''': Booyah.
* Magnus picks a Mystery Bag from the Fantasy Costco...which contains a goldfish in a glass ball. He names it "Steven" and insists that he has magical powers.
** Magnus insisting that Lucretia say Hi to his fish.
---> '''Lucretia:''' You want me to address– Oh look at that. Yes, yes. I see you've got a little friend there. Does he do anything?
---> '''Magnus:''' He swims around in his tiny ball. And he loves me.
* While Taako tries to figure out the magical item distributing machine, Magnus and Merle enact a FunnyBackgroundEvent of Merle shooting an arrow at Magnus so that he can catch it with his new Fletcher's Mitt artifact. Due to the influence of the RandomNumberGod, it fails miserably.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Petals to the Metal" Arc]]
* Partway through the arc, Travis decides to switch voices for Magnus, going from a typical gruff Tough Guy voice to a bombastic WesternAnimation/DudleyDoright inflection, which he refers to as "Golden Age Magnus."
* Merle attempts a CharmPerson spell on nearby plants and animals, and discovers that he now has control over Magnus's goldfish Steven. DungeonMaster Griffin has to admit that he doesn't even know what that means. Merle just makes him poop.
* The infamous [=Merle/vines=] sex scene. Between Clint's dirty-talking, Griffin's description of the vines' reactions, and Justin and Travis' [[BrainBleach utter horror]], it's hard to even pick a funniest part.
-->'''Justin:''' Statistically speaking, at least one of our listeners has just discovered that they are in possession of ~''the world's worst fetish!''~
* Griffin's reaction to Taako now knowing the "Blink" spell, which enables him to teleport between dimensions:
-->'''Griffin''': You can fucking [[ComicBook/XMen Nightcrawl]] now?!
-->'''Justin''': Yep. I can ''Bamf''.
* Coupled with Magnus's in-character reaction to Taako using it for the first time:
-->'''Travis''': And Magnus ''loses his damn mind.''
* Merle's attempts to talk down and/or distract Trent the Treant, who is badly wounded, trying to kill them, and not very bright to begin with.
-->'''Merle''': If you'll just look at this Extreme Teen Bible...
-->'''Trent''': [[NoIndoorVoice I CAN'T READ! I'M A TREE!]].
* Taako killing Trent.
--> '''Taako:''' So, um. Just born, huh?
--> '''Trent:''' Yeah! I'm Trent the treant! I was just born today-
--> '''Taako:''' ''(immediately casts Scorching Rays)'' '''[[Film/IndependenceDay WELCOME TO]] [[MemeticMutation EARF]].'''
* Magnus's attempts to open the strongbox involve Travis making various attribute check rolls. They get very meta and very ridiculous in a hurry:
** Strength Check: Magnus picks the box up over his head. Nothing happens.
** Dexterity Check: Magnus throws the box up in the air and dodges it on the way down [[note]] He gets hit by the box, since he failed the roll [[/note]].
** Constitution Check: Magnus and the box both drink poison. Magnus survives. The box dies, and opens.
* Taako is asked why he chose a mongoose mask, and gets a little bit too real:
-->'''Taako''': Because the mongoose has specialized acetylcholine receptors that make it impervious to venom, so they’re known for killing snakes. Very surprisingly dangerous – you know, like Riki Tiki Tavi? … You know? You know not everything has to be a joke. Sometimes you can just be honest about your feelings! And that’s how I see myself, you know? I may not be the most threatening silhouette but I like to think of myself as somebody who can stand up for- you know, it doesn’t always have to be goof-goof-dildo the whole time, okay? You know, I’m traveling around with the boner squad and I never get to say what I’m feeling! I have emotions! It’s not all ‘Abra-ca-fuck-you’ and what have you! I have a beating heart! I'm multi-dimensional! I’m a fully-realized creation! Fuck!
* Once the WackyRaces-style battlewagon race starts, the Funny and Awesome come at breakneck speed. Of particular note is Taako's summoning of Garyl, the ridiculously-cool Spectral Unicorn that speaks with a mellow Creator/MatthewMcConaughey voice, whose stats are apparently as great as the plot requires.
* The conclusion to the arc, when the group finally gets the Gaia Sash. First, Taako not only fails to resist the call of an artifact for the first time, but he ''critically fails.'' Then [[spoiler:the voices of Hurley and The Raven call out to him, giving him another shot...]] and he fails ''again,'' at which point Magnus punches him in the head and Merle grabs the sash, at which point...
--> '''Gaia Sash:''' C'mon, man, put me on! There's no plant - [[CallBack no vine you'll never be able to not fuck!]] I'll give you sexual conquest over anything! Whaddya wanna fuck, an onion?
--> '''Merle:''' I don't need your help, pal!
--> '''Griffin, incredulous:''' ''Fucking an onion?!''
** [[HilariousInHindsight This becomes even funnier]] given the fact that [[spoiler:Merle ''created'' the Gaia Sash in the first place!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Crystal Kingdom" Arc]]
* During the Bureau's "[[YouMeanXmas Candle Nights]]" party:
-->'''Lucretia''': I do not expect any gifts from you, I am your employer. Frankly, that would be...
-->'''Magnus''': I hand her a coupon for "One Free Backrub".
-->'''Lucretia''': ''[[[TheComicallySerious deadpan]]]'' This is exactly what I was actually afraid of. This is...Magnus, this is the ''nightmare scenario''.
-->'''Magnus''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint You can use that whenever!]]
* Upon meeting Killian's team, the party is introduced to a surly-looking dwarf who looks like Merle was "blended" and then put back together. The visor to his space suit rises, revealing his scowling face as cigar smoke billows from his helmet. In a gravelly voice, he growls:
-->'''Dwarf''': "My name... is Boy-Land."
** The next episode opens with Griffin reading a message from Boyland's real life namesake claiming that while his [[ItsPronouncedTroPay name is actually pronounced "boy-luhnd"]], he 100% endorses the other pronounciation for his fictional counterpart.
* As Magnus and Merle fight a cockroach while shrunken down to miniature size, Taako (who is still normal size) spends the whole time more concerned with his sandwich than his friends' lives. When he does finally decide to help, he goes to distract the cockroach by creating an illusion of a female cockroach in a sexy dress, only to realize that [[SkewedPriorities that's heteronormative]] and create an illusion of another sandwich instead.
* As they enter an arcane airlock for the first time, Griffin describes it as being similar to one you'd find on a submarine, or a ''spaceship'', to which Travis says:
--> '''Travis''': "Which we have all been in!"
-->'''Griffin''': "Um, no. Well... [[{{Foreshadowing}} maybe]]?"
-->'''Clint''': [[HilariousInHindsight Maybe in the backstory!]]
-->'''Griffin''': [[TeasingCreator Probably not]].
* Angus awkwardly ending the phone call with Magnus.
--> ('''Magnus:''' Let us know if you come up with anything.)
--> '''Angus:''' Yeah, no problem! ..... I lo- I love you!
--> '''Magnus:''' Love you too.
--> '''Clint:''' Shut up, don't- No. Please, no.
* Taako angrily ranting about how he's done with elevators since last time he was inside one, "vines tried to eat [his] dick". When Magnus tries to pick him up and carry him inside the Elevator Of Tomorrow, Taako wildly protests:
-->'''Taako''': You will not like how this ends! I ''will'' burn a spell slot, I give no shits!
** When the elevator starts shrinking down Taako starts "running around with his hands in the air like [[Creator/MichaelJordan Jordan]] after he won one of his many basketball championships".
--> '''Taako:''' Do you see? ''Do you SEE?'' Don't look so stupid now, do I? You tiny ''bitches''! I could ''eat you!''
** As shrunk-down Merle and Magnus watch the small futuristic version of Neverwinter in the elevator, Taako does Godzilla impressions outside of the elevator above them.
* Travis accidentally breaks the fourth wall by asking Justin a question instead of Taako, which turns into an absurd bit about "Fantasy Justin," a combination phone sex operator and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delilah_(radio_host) Delilah]]-style radio personality.
-->'''Griffin:''' "This is Fantasy Justin filling in for Delilah, who I have killed and taken over her life, ''Film/TheTalentedMrRipley''-style."
-->'''Justin:''' If you're like me out there, you are just looking for that shoulder to cry on. If you're like me out there also, you're [[RefugeInAudacity wearing Delilah's skin]].
-->'''Travis:''' ...I hate you guys so much.
* When the party asks for a "problem-solving" question from Hodge Podge the trivia robot, he [[MotorMouth speeds through the various clues to the logic puzzle more and more quickly.]] Magnus immediately answers despite catching absolutely none of it (in character, at least), and so...
--> '''Hodge Podge:''' Almost — completely — wrong!
* The "Stump Hodge Podge" bonus round is also worth mentioning: Merle asks him [[WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove what love is]] and receives an exact dictionary definition, then tries (unsuccessfully) to salvage it by claiming the right answer was "a score of zero in tennis"; Magnus asks if they all get a shot, and while they do, [[WastefulWishing that counts as his question]]; and Taako tries "why did the chicken cross the road," which gets rejected as being a riddle rather than trivia. It only devolves further from there.
* Merle's painkiller-induced ramblings [[spoiler: after having his arm chopped off]] are hilarious. Especially because he's basically telling the truth; it's just so weird that nobody believes him.
--> '''Merle:''' God lied to me! Then there was this British guy...
* Taako's... ''unique'' way of attacking Kravitz--and asking for his name--in a fight where the gang is mostly-paralyzed:
--> '''Taako, casting [[CombatTentacles Evard's Black Tentacles]]:''' Hey thug! What's your name! [[RefugeInAudacity I'm about to tentacle your dick!]]
** There's also something hilarious about the fact that [[spoiler: ''this is how Taako meets his future boyfriend.'']]
* Griffin turning his inability to keep Kravitz' cockney British accent consistent into a joke.
* When they finally get their hands on the Philosopher's Stone, Magnus attempts to ''eat it.'' [[spoiler:And succeeds, even though -- being a powerful magical object -- the Glutton's Fork can't transmute it.]]
** This presents a problem when they return to the Bureau of Balance and need to, ahem, ''procure'' the artifact. [[spoiler:Taako and Merle eventually manage to extricate it by transforming Magnus' entire body to stone and using Stone Shape to turn the lower half of his body into a corkscrew slide through which the artifact can roll.]]
* Magnus stealing Angus' nose - Angus freaks out.
** When he reaches up to touch his nose and realizes it's still there, he comments on how "that joke was a dark one".
* An easy-to-miss one: if the song "Crystal Minuet" from this arc's soundtrack sounds familiar, it's because it uses the [[MemeticMutation memetic]] saxophone melody from "Run Away With Me" by Music/CarlyRaeJepsen.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Rest & Relaxation" Lunar Interlude]]
* In reference to the party's past troubles using the Fantasy Gachapon correctly, Leon attempts to entice our heroes with three pieces of their favorite candy if each of them can correctly operate the machine. [[spoiler:Magnus and Merle both comply with the request, but Taako instead blinks behind Leon, steals the candy, and replaces it with his Gachapon Token. Leon falls to the floor and begins to weep.]]
-->'''Leon:''' We were so... We were ''so close'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext to Candy Station...]]
-->'''Taako:''' (clearly holding back laughter) I'm already pullin' in [[YiddishAsASecondLanguage bubela]]!
** What makes this even better [[spoiler: is when Taako then grabs his token from Leon's prone, weeping form and puts it into the Gachapon perfectly while munching on his candy, meaning that he's doing all of this ''solely'' to be a dick to Leon.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Eleventh Hour" Arc]]
* In the third episode, having realized they're in a GroundhogDayLoop, Merle and Magnus decide to bet ten diamonds (which they don't have) in an arm-wrestling match against a Goliath, figuring that if worse comes to worst they can avoid any consequences. They quickly realize that while they may be able to avoid ''long-term'' consequences, that doesn't stop them from getting the snot beaten out of them by an angry giant. Cue desperate attempts to get out of trouble.
* With another loop coming up, Taako starts flying spells left and right, just because he can.
* Once our heroes get to the booby-trapped mine, the nature of the GroundhogDayLoop means that they start shamelessly making use of SaveScumming to move the story along...much to the apparent consternation of the mysterious old lady who's running it.
--> '''Magnus:''' Sorry! We're working on it! Be back in a minute!
* The team goes through the entire booby-trapped mine three times trying to solve a [[WireDilemma wire-cutting puzzle]] by process of elimination. When Merle realizes that there was a key in the first room that would solve the puzzle without having to go through all the wire-cutting and explosions, Magnus makes the only reasonable decision:
--> '''Magnus:''' Well if we're already here, hold on, I'll get us out of here!
--> ''Magnus cuts all five wires at once, the boys go to Heaven.''
* The second time Taako visits Ren in the Davy Lamp, Griffin mentions that the piano player is playing Jock Jams on the piano. He mentions that he's going to leave a silence to edit that in later, then expresses doubt that he could figure out how to do that within 24 hours. Almost immediately, the soundtrack kicks in with a piano rendition of Get Ready For This.
* Taako had gotten a prophecy from Paloma that was a vision of rail tracks and Paloma practically yelling "Turn right" in his face for a solid minute. A few episodes later, during a chase scene in a mine, they have a fork in the tracks and Taako needs to choose which way to go. While Justin hems and haws, you can hear Travis struggling in the background, eventually yelling at at him to go right repeatedly and ending up on the floor. Made funnier by the fact that they're all recording in the same room for once and Justin is clearly aware of all this.
-->'''Travis''': *Rolling on the floor in exasperated pain.*
-->'''Justin''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Trav, please, my daughter's sleeping.]]
* In a scene familiar to anyone with siblings, Justin teases Travis for asking if Luca the skeleton is alive and Travis gets ''really'' defensive.
-->'''Travis:''' IT'S D&D! SKELETONS MOVE IN THIS GAME, JUSTIN!
-->'''Justin:''' Hey Griffin, is the rug alive? It's D&D, so...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Calm Before The Storm" Lunar Interlude]]
* Taako attempts to negotiate with the BountyHunter-esque GrimReaper for the lives of himself, his party, and the entire population of Refuge. He holds this meeting at the local wine-and-pottery place on what turns out to be ''couples' night''. Why did Taako changed the location from the party's dorm, their previous meeting place?
-->'''Taako:''' Well, ironically, because I thought it would get ''weird''. [...] I don't know why I thought this would be the better option.
** Said wine and pottery place is called the [[SophisticatedAsHell Chug and Squeeze]].
* One of the Fantasy Costco items on sale this time around, The Slicer of T'pire Wire Isles, is a magically enticing but otherwise largely unremarkable stone which the user, on a successful persuasion check, can barter for the most valuable item in someone's possession. Another, the Pocket Guide to Adventuring, grants advantage on any skill check once per day. Taako buys both, reads the section on Persuasion, and then ''[[GuileHero immediately trades the stone back to Garfield]] for [[InfinityPlusOneSword the Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword of Doom,]]'' which Griffin had [[HoistByHisOwnPetard specifically priced obscenely high]] so that none of the party would ever be able to buy it. [[spoiler:And then he doesn't even wield it or give it to Magnus, preferring to wear it as an accessory.]]
-->'''Taako:''' Garfield?\\
'''Garfield:''' Yes?\\
'''Taako:''' I have something that I think is ''really'' gonna interest you.\\
[[{{Beat}} *beat*]]\\
'''Griffin (OOC):''' [[OhCrap OH MY]] [[BigOMG GOD!]]
** Griffin also mentions that no less than ''20'' listener-submitted Fantasy Costco items were vaping themed, for some reason.
* Taako's unfathomably dickish treatment of Leon the Artificer reaches its zenith in this round at the Fantasy Gachapon; [[spoiler: After Magnus and Merle put their coins in and get their respective items with no incident (other than Merle trying to make it fancy), Taako seemingly goes over to the machine and puts his coin in, causing Leon to fall prostrate on the ground, weeping and giving thanks to a god none of them have heard of before... cue the coin flying out of the machine and bonking Leon on the head while "Taako" disappears from in front of the machine, revealing that Taako (now screaming with laughter at Leon's misfortune) had cast Mislead out in the hall to dupe Leon as he stayed at the door.]] Taako is laughing so hard that he doesn't even really want anything from the Gachapon, as nothing will be able to give him as much joy as seeing Leon's dead, broken expression at having been tricked again.
** And then [[spoiler: while Leon is practically catatonic from the mental agony ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Taako declares "I win!" and then picks up his token and uses it to get a magic item from the Gachapon.]]'']]
*** And for bonus points [[spoiler: ''This is the absolute last time we ever see Leon in the campaign''.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Suffering Game" Arc]]
* After Magnus [[spoiler:knocks out two guards and stores them in the Pocket Workshop]], Griffin immediately 1) expresses annoyance that now he has to name them both and 2) establishes a two-person limit so that he can't keep "pokémon-ing" people to have an "infinite bag of boys."
* While choosing voices to use for Lydia and Edward:
-->'''Griffin''': Hmmm...I'm thinking maybe [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Team Rocket?]]\\
'''Travis''': [[{{Squee}} YES]]!
* As Merle is being given a PrisonersDilemma in episode two, Taako ''almost immediately'' cuts in with shouts of "forsake."
** A few episodes later, when the same scenario pops up, Taako ''immediately'' uses Mage Hand to mash the "Forsake" button, prompting Lydia to gently remind him that they need to ''select'' someone to make the choice first. Which still ends up being Taako.
* During the fight in [[spoiler: the Monster Factory, Taako's bad luck kicks in. Cue a ''washing machine'' (or a piece of industrial machinery akin to it) falling out of the air and slamming into Taako's midsection and legs apropos of nothing. It's PlayedForDrama, but the sheer absurdity of it wouldn't be out of place in a Warner Brothers cartoon.]]
* After Justin gets annoyed that Griffin won't let him cast stone flesh on the [[spoiler: the poisonous regenerating slime]], he decides to make Taako cast Disintegrate on it, but using the Umbra Staff to cast it out of his butt. [[spoiler: And it works. Really well]]
* When they meet Cam he's playing dead (a very easy thing to do in his circumstances) but, when touched, opens his eyes and yells "BLAAAH!". Magnus does not react at all and acts like it didn't happen.
* Clint trying to justify giving up Merle's wedding ring, [[BlatantLies which he's definitely had this whole time,]] as a sacrifice for the boys' second go on the wheel. This despite the fact that he 1) hated his ex-wife and 2) ''was the one to walk out on his family.'' The boys aren't having it.
--> '''Griffin:''' I'm a shithead, feel bad for me, the Oprah special! You get a car!
* Taako's reaction when he finds out about [[spoiler: Merle's kids]]:
--> '''Taako:''' [[SarcasmMode Imagine my shock, ]][[spoiler: [[SarcasmMode Merle's a deadbeat dad]]]][[SarcasmMode . Agag. Agog. I'm aghast. As nurturing as he is, you know?]]
* One of Merle's roulette wheel spins doesn't really line up with his ability set, leading to this exchange:
--> '''Edward:''' How about this? In your next battle here in Wonderland, you're gonna be a real dunce. And if you accept this--
--> '''Magnus:''' No, but what's his punishment?
--> '''Taako:''' Yeah, but then what happens after?
* The fact that in the BossRush fight Cam keeps rolling really high on Dex and dodging things and casting spells that cause hideous amounts of damage. He's a ''talking head''.
* Taako deciding that he's over and done with the BossRush fight, and decides to cut to the chase by [[spoiler: polymorphing himself into a ''fucking '''Tyrannosaurus Rex''''' and chomping the recreated Shark Tank from ''Petals to the Metal'' in half in one bite, bisecting the mannequin Marvey in much the same way that Magnus did to the real deal. He also maintains his wizard hat, but its comically tiny upon his now massive head.]]
* Edward the Lich's hilariously inept attempts to [[spoiler: impersonate Magnus once he's hijacked Magnus's body.]]
--> '''[[spoiler: Fake!]]Magnus:''' Yep, that's me! Magnus! I'm rushing in!
* The party is ''very'' done by the time the arc is finished.
--> '''The Animus Bell:''' How would you like to live forever?
--> '''[[spoiler:Magnus:]]''' I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.
** Almost immediately comes back to a tearjerker when Travis says that [[spoiler: Magnus, while not necessarily a death seeker, is looking forward to dying so that he can see his wife again.]]
* Despite being unconscious, Taako manages to get out a BondOneLiner so ridiculous that Merle and Magnus can't decide if they're horrified or impressed:
-->'''Taako:''' [[spoiler: Liches... get... stitches.]]
* Travis' reaction to learning [[spoiler: Lydia completely destroyed Magnus' body as payback for her brother's death, trapping Magnus in the mannequin he was forced to possess.]]
-->'''Travis:'''[[spoiler: My beautiful body!]]
* TheReveal that the Red Robe is, in fact, [[spoiler:Barry Bluejeans, of all people.]] Griffin builds it up as this huge, dramatic twist — and, to some extent, it is — but Clint understandably goes into conniptions as soon as the words [[spoiler:"sturdy, denim, and blue"]] drop and everything clicks into place.
* When things are looking especially grim for the party during the final battle against Lydia and Edward, Taako lampshades how the party is usually saved from such situations by a DeusExMachina:
-->There has to be [[ActionGirl a competent woman]] somewhere! That’s what we always lean on when we’re in dire straits, a competent woman!
** This is doubly funny given that [[spoiler: Lydia and Edward were ultimately defeated by the Umbra Staff, which was created by, is currently imprisoning and is partially controlled by Lup. So in a way, they actually ''were'' saved by a competent woman!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Reunion Tour" Lunar Interlude]]
* This exchange:
-->'''Clint/Merle:''' So wait, are we now [[spoiler: going against the Bureau of Balance?]]\\
'''Travis/Magnus:''' Yes, Dad. [[BreakingTheFourthWall Surprising no one on Reddit.]]
* While the debate over the pros and cons of [[spoiler: Magnus returning to his body]] is mostly a TearJerker, it does have a few funny lines courtesy of Taako:
** Taako points out that he and Merle would absolutely abuse their responsibility of [[spoiler: reeducating Magnus about the world]].
--->'''Taako:''' I mean, you are coming back as the [[ImYourBiggestFan A-number-one fan]] of Taako and also my [[BeleagueredAssistant personal assistant]], ''for sure''.
** When Magnus tries to explain [[spoiler: [[AndIMustScream the true cost of being in a mannequin body]]]]:
--->'''Magnus:''' [[spoiler: [[SenseLossSadness I can't feel]] ''[[SenseLossSadness anything.]]'']]
--->'''Taako:''' [[spoiler: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint So you can't feel sad that you don't have a body!]]]]
* Merle's attempt to give Magnus a heartfelt goodbye.
-->'''Merle:''' See ya, good boy.
-->'''Magnus:''' Okay. Weird.
* During Merle and Taako's confrontation with [[spoiler: Angus]] in the Lucretia's Private Chamber, Griffin asks them to do a Charisma Saving Throw. When they handily succeed, Griffin reveals that [[spoiler: Angus just tried to use Zone of Truth on them.]]
-->'''Merle:''' HA! Thought you could try that move on me? I ''invented'' that move!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Stolen Century" Arc]]
* Griffin lets the players come up with the name for the [[spoiler: IPRE ship]]. Their suggestions include "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boaty_McBoatface Boaty McBoatface]]", "The Laser Spinnaker", and the eventual winner, "Starblaster".
-->'''Griffin''': I still can't believe they named it that.
* The entire press conference scene, which gets dragged further and further off-topic as Justin, Travis, and Clint have fun coming up with goofy names and publications for reporters. By the time Clint [[TalkingToHimself interviews Merle]] as [[Series/{{Cheers}} Cliff Clavin]] and [[ButHeSoundsHandsome compliments his incredible physique]], any attempt at seriousness or professionalism has been abandoned.
** [[spoiler: Barry]] gives an excited and detailed answer to one reporter, prompting [[spoiler: Lup]] to make fun of him for being a nerd in a StageWhisper.
** [[spoiler: Lup's]] reason for wanting to [[spoiler: go on the IPRE voyage]] was because she felt she'd already "crushed it" in [[spoiler: her original world]] and saw it as an opportunity to [[SkewedPriorities "expand her brand"]]. She then calls out a guy who owes her $15 and performs a MicDrop that makes [[spoiler: Davenport]] wince.
** Aside from Cliff Clavin, the crowd of reporters also includes a [[StrawmanPolitical vaguely Libertarian guy complaining about tax-funded research]] via Skype, "Wisp Blinkman from [[VideoGame/EyeOfTheBeholder eyeofthebeholder]]\[[Website/GeoCities geocities.com]]", a guy called "Name Name from ''Publication''" (changed by Griffin to "Jeff Jeffins from the ''Jeff Report''" after Travis complains), and an inexplicable cameo by [[{{Series/Frasier}} Frasier Crane]] (whom Cliff enthusiastically greets as he hadn't seen him since [[Series/{{Cheers}} "the original show"]]).
** When Travis enquires about the ship's weaponry, Griffin as Davenport tosses the question over to the ship's Security Officer...[[TalkingToHimself Magnus]]:
--->'''Travis''': And Magnus like flips his cool guy fantasy shades and he asks "Uh...what was the question?" ''[OOC]'' Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
--->''[[[{{Beat}} Awkward silence]]]''
--->'''Griffin''' [[EpicFail ...you asked it]].
* [[spoiler: Lucretia]] being so absorbed in her note-taking that she ends up StrollingThroughTheChaos of the bar fight.
* Griffin originally expected ''The Stolen Century'' to be a short and quick-moving arc that they could wrap up in two episodes. Naturally, it takes the boys half of the first episode ''just to [[spoiler: leave their home world]]''.
** Griffin also points out that that half of the episode comprises what his notes refer to as "Year Zero". Of an arc called "''The Stolen '''Century'''''".
* One of the cycles takes the crew to [[spoiler:the world of ''Characters/TheAdventureZoneNights'']], where they quickly determine that they have no hope of [[spoiler:finding the Light of Creation and saving the plane. Travis' response to Clint pointing out that Griffin is, essentially, destroying his game world is to claim that he'll have the next session of ''TAZ Nights'' start with a random guy waking up and revealing that ''TAZ Balance'' was AllJustADream.]]
* After Merle chooses to spend his "turn" with [[spoiler:Lucretia]] recording the history of the robot civilization and the stories they have to tell so that their culture lives on, it's Taako's turn... and he ''[[MoodWhiplash immediately]]'' announces that he and [[spoiler:Lup]] are going to [[HeroicComedicSociopath loot the entire city and murder the robots for resources]]. Fortunately, he doesn't end up having to do that, but...
** And after they find that they can just loot the uninhabited ruins of the city instead, Lup finds a Tommy gun... and immediately unloads it into the air shouting "Count the Shells!". '''''Twice'''''. [[spoiler: She even hands the robotic Troth one of the guns she found and tells her to [[SophisticatedAsHell "Light them the fuck up"]].]]
* Clint stressing that the stories that they hear from the robots emphasize [[Characters/TheAdventureZoneNights an especially handsome bard]].
* Griffin asking Travis for help with some worldbuilding and then immediately teasing him about it:
-->'''Griffin:''' What's the symbol of [[spoiler: the Beasts of the Ring]] look like, Trav?
-->'''Travis:''' It's a... it's a howling wolf with a, uh... a gear as the moon.
-->'''Griffin:''' Okay, it's just a dog yelling at some technology, I like it.
-->'''Travis:''' It's a howling wolf on a gear, alright?
-->'''Griffin:''' It's a dog who saw a gear and got really scared and yelled at it!
* [[spoiler: Lup]] gives a touching, teary speech to the rest of the crew about how she has to believe that there's some way to [[spoiler: save the worlds that have already been devoured by the Hunger]]... because [[CallBack Greg Grimaldis still]] [[MoodWhiplash owes her $15]]. The funniest part is that this happens [[spoiler: ''seventeen years'' after the IPRE crew left their home world, meaning Lup has been carrying this grudge for close to two decades]].
* Clint makes a roll so bad that Merle almost dies ''during the'' ''BeachEpisode''.
** What makes it even funnier is that Griffin immediately walks it back, declaring that EveryoneLives during the Beach Episode, but Clint insists on playing Merle as if [[ItMakesSenseInContext he's just been poisoned by an exploding seashell]], spending a good chunk of the loop vomiting into a hole in the ground.
* Merle's whole gift-giving scene just keeps getting worse as each recipient finds an increasingly transparent excuse to get rid of whatever trash Merle gave them. By the time he gives [[spoiler: Lup]] a hollowed-out jellyfish to use as a shower cap, she just tells him that she's not going to put a dead fish on her head and then drops it on the floor, claiming [[BlatantLies an invisible demon knocked it out of her hands]].
* When asked how he's going to spend his year, Magnus closely examines a beautiful piece of driftwood, which Travis builds up like it's the beginning of Magnus' love of carpentry. Then he [[BaitAndSwitch throws it in the air, yells for]] [[spoiler: Lup]] [[BaitAndSwitch to use it as target practice]], and spends the whole year sneaking up on people and scaring them to keep them on their toes.
-->[[CatchPhrase "MAGNUS!"]]
* Taako and [[spoiler: Barry's]] conversation near the end of the BeachEpisode is definitely heartwarming, but it also contains such gems as Taako speaking like a SurferDude the whole time and [[spoiler: Barry]] saying that he's not in love with [[spoiler: Lup]], he just has a crush [[CannotSpitItOut that's gone on for 21 years]].
* As part of a trial to gain the Light of Creation, Merle has to successfully use a spell called Parlay to put himself at risk to communicate with his enemy [[spoiler: and the crew chooses to use this to get some insight into The Hunger.]] The catch? He has to be naked to cast it. Taako leaves the room after hearing that and then ''leaves the room he left to'' after Merle actually starts stripping.
** He actually ''doesn't'' have to be naked, but Merle insists on at least taking his shirt off.
* In a dimension where there is no war or military, Magnus channels his skills and energies into coaching a kids' sports team. Travis presents us with a Category-5 ClicheStorm, with Griffin barely keeping up with the kids' voices, and [[{{Corpsing}} barely keeping it together]].
** Magnus' obligatory RousingSpeech quickly turns into an ItsAllAboutMe moment, with him telling the kids that the magic wasn't [[ItWasWithYouAllAlong inside them all along]] because it was actually inside ''him'', that they shouldn't worry about the crowd or the other team because the only thing they need to worry about is disappointing him and making him look bad, and that if they do badly in the game [[CrossesTheLineTwice he won't save the plane at the end of the year when the Hunger comes]].
** During said RousingSpeech, Clint chimes in with a character-voice-less comment even though Merle isn't in the scene. The other boys decide that, InUniverse, this came from a nearby [[TakeThat loser janitor named Clint [=McElroy=] who was fired for embezzlement]].
* When entering [[spoiler: the Voidfish's homeworld]], the crew hears a cacophony of different songs, poems and stories. Griffin allows the players to decide what particularly stuck out to their characters, so Travis decides that Magnus' Animal Handling proficiency means he would hear a song about animals--specifically, "Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men.
** Merle hears "Cheeseburger in Paradise - Live Version" by Jimmy Buffet. And Taako?
--->'''Justin''': ''[[PaulBlartMallCop Paul Blart]] 3''. That's right. It's coming, folks!
* In the midst of the Statues leveling serious accusations about the character of our heroes, one of them takes the time to call Merle out on his plant fetish to which he asks if he can plead differently for each of the charges and also delivers an {{Pun}} which receives a LamePunReaction from Griffin.
* Equally funny and heartwarming is Taako's response to [[spoiler: Lup's]] request to give her "the best day ever:" he takes her to an abandoned [[ObstructiveBureaucracy DMV building]] and lets her ''utterly trash it''. Yeah, Taako gets her.
* [[spoiler: Lup's]] first action upon [[spoiler: becoming a lich]] is to ''dab''. The absurdity is compounded by the MoodWhiplash of this moment coming directly after a long, tense, emotional buildup to the ritual.
* [[spoiler: As the IPRE crew is deciding where to hide their Relics, Taako, in his own inimitable fashion, chucks the Philosopher's Stone down a well in Phandalin, yells that there's a cool rock down the well, and promptly fucks off.]] In this massive TearJerker of an episode this is a stark moment of levity.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: "Story and Song" Finale]]
* With great fanfare, the Dungeons and Dragons ruleset returns, with both Merle and Taako having to make saving throws... and Clint immediately rolls a 2. Justin makes fun of him... [[LaserGuidedKarma and then rolls a 2 himself.]]
* Justin's comment while explaining how he's kitted out Taako with his experience points:
-->'''Justin''': Should I talk slower so that everyone who's been complaining about us not playing D&D has time to nut?
* After nearly three years, Magnus ''finally'' gets to use his [[RunningGag Animal Handling proficiency]].
* [[spoiler: The first thing Lup says after Taako releases her lich form from the Umbra Staff, proving that she's still alive and herself; ''"You're dating the Grim Reaper?!"'']]
** On that note, [[spoiler: In a crossover with [[AwesomeMoment Awesome]], Lup's [[TranquilFury reaction]] to Edward entering the Umbra Staff during the events of ''The Suffering Game''.]]
-->'''[[spoiler:Lup]]''': ''[[spoiler: I'm gonna fucking kill you now.]]''
* While both moments are [[Tearjerker/TheAdventureZone very]] [[Heartwarming/TheAdventureZone emotional]] in different ways, the fact that this is the second episode ''in a row'' where [[spoiler: Barry's been willing to instantly die for Lup unprompted]] is kind of hilarious.
* As [[spoiler: Lup, Barry, and Taako jump off the edge of the Bureau's base down to the remains of Phandalin,]] Taako turns to the others before going over:
-->'''Taako:''' Don't worry, guys. I have magic powers. *jumps off the edge and casts Levitate on himself*
-->'''Magnus:''' ...Was that supposed to be some sort of reveal?
* When [[spoiler: Barry and Lup]] start getting overwhelmed by the Hunger's forces as Taako struggles to open a window to the Astral Plane, who should show up in nick of time to turn the tide? Why, it's [[spoiler: Upsy, Your Lifting Friend of course! And now the world's most horrifying elevator has ''arms and legs'' and is being piloted by Lucas!]]
** On that note, the fact that despite [[spoiler: growing a pretty kickass beard, Lucas is still the same nerdy loser he was in ''The Crystal Kingdom''.]]
* Despite having absolutely ''no idea'' [[spoiler: what ''VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}'' even ''is'', Taako mocks Joaquin for being a Genji main.]]
* There's a lot of great callbacks in part 2 of the finale (including "[[spoiler:no dogs on the moon]]", after [[spoiler:Avi knocks the Royal Wolf off the moonbase]], but the best one has got to be:
-->[[spoiler:'''Joaquin''': Everything's going to be alright. I've got magic powers.]]
* [[spoiler: Before Kravitz and Taako kiss, Kravitz stops and cups his hands to his mouth to warm up his normally ice-cold lips so the kiss won't be "cold and weird."]]
** [[spoiler: However, the reason he's cold is because he's undead, and thus has no internal body heat. His breath would've been just as cold as his lips!]]
* The reaction of everyone involved in [[spoiler: the [[StatingTheSimpleSolution collective realization that Lucretia could've just sealed away The Hunger with her barrier instead of risking reality's bonds.]]]]
-->[[spoiler:"Huh".]]
* [[spoiler: As the crew of the ''Starblaster'', sans Barry and Lup, prepare to leave the Bureau headquarters and take the fight to the Hunger itself, Magnus offers up his grandfather's knife to Angus for luck. It makes for a heartwarming farewell... before it's immediately followed by about three minutes worth of less and less tearful farewells and increasingly thoughtless or inane gestures of affection. By the end of it Davenport and Lup are begging them to get on with it, as are a majority of the audience.]]
* There's something hilarious that after everything The Adventure Zone has given us in its first "season", all the various emotions it's made us feel and the long beautiful journey it's taken us on, the Balance Arc winds up concluding on ''[[HehHehYouSaidX Episode 69]]''.
-->'''Griffin''': That's the sex number!
* One of the recurring characters summoned with the team's Bonds during the final battle is Garfield the Deals Warlock, who gives quite possibly the best PreAssKickingOneLiner in the entire series.
-->'''Garfield the Deals Warlock:''' ...you want to know the best part of working at Fantasy Costco? [[spoiler:'''''FREE SAMPLES!''''' (''chucks a magic grenade at John that causes massive damage'')]]
* In the Epilogue, we have Merle's "conditions" for accepting the position of Governor of the soon to be rebuilt village of Bottlenose Cove: while Lord Sterling reluctantly accepts to change Merle's title from "Governor" to "Earl" (thus making him "Earl Merle"), he absolutely refuses to change the name of the village to "Merlegaritaville". As compromise, Lord Sterling agrees to personally build him a themed bar and call it whatever he wants. Later on, we find out this was NotHyperbole, as we see the bumbling nobleman making a valiant effort to actually build something.
* Magnus' coverup for sneaking off to talk to Carey before the wedding ceremony:
--> '''Magnus''': If you'll all excuse me, I have... to shit.
* After the story is fully wrapped up, there's a moment of poignant silence, and then the boys [[MoodWhiplash start cracking jokes]] about the fact that they've been playing [=DnD=] for three years while "No Dogs on the Moon!" plays.
** "Thus ends The Adventure Zone: Balance, the story of [[SelfDeprecation four idiots that played DnD so hard that they made themselves cry]]."
** Justin jokes that someone needs to come clean up the massive amounts of urine that have accumulated from a nonstop, three-year [=DnD=] session.
--->'''Travis:''' Wait, is it weird that I haven't peed this whole time?
--->'''Griffin:''' In three years?! Travis, go to the emergency room ''now.''
--->'''Travis:''' I mean, I think I've just started sweating it out. I also haven't consumed any liquids, though, so like...
--->'''Griffin:''' Oh, you're good then. Oh wait, no, you're not good, Travis, go to the emergency room right now.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Live Boston Stunt Spectacular]]
* Justin playing Taako playing Tuff Greg.
-->'''Taako:''' Well as I always say to [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday the wife before I hop into bed]], make room for Greg!
* Merle calls Magnus a dork for getting super into his character, who he has given the Elvish name "I'Morko." Travis responds "Elvish is not dorky, [[FreudianSlip dad!]]" ''in his character voice'' and Griffin ''immediately'' cuts in to say that that was definitely in-character.
* Early on in the special Merrick tries to offer Angus a Jeff Angel button, which the boy detective rejects on the basis that he's "no chump mark" sending the audience into hysterics. [[spoiler: Later on as Garrigos attempts to re-enter the world, the chaos causes Angus to be revealed in the crowd [[HypocriticalHumor wearing a Jeff Angel shirt.]]]]
* The RandomNumberGod strikes again when Taako casts a CharmPerson on Gerald the Catwalk Boy:
-->'''Griffin''': I have to make a Wisdom saving throw.\\
'''Justin:''' ::sarcastically:: Right. I'm up against the formidable Wisdom of ''Catwalk Boy.''\\
'''Griffin:''' ::rolls die, pauses:: Aaaand, that's a Natural 20.\\
::audience goes insane::
* When Jeff Angel makes his entrance, Griffin makes a big deal of having everyone listen to "Jeff Angel's Theme", which he describes as "the only piece of original music that I have prepared for the evening". It turns out to just be Creator/JohnCena's theme played in a fake trumpet soundfont.
** Jeff Angel himself is a massive parody of Cena, which itself is a recipe for hilarity. When he first shows up he cuts a promo that amounts to "My opponents are bad because I think they don't call their dads but I call mine EVERY DAY!" and the most notable thing he does during the fight is perform Cena's "You Can't See Me!" taunt [[spoiler: which ''actually turns him invisible.'']]
* When Clint goes to roll a d20, a woman from the crowd yells, "Do you know which one that is?" Griffin acknowledges it as a sick burn.
* Clint's continued mentions of things being 'sold in the lobby after the show', despite nothing being sold after the show at all. The boys grow increasingly exasperated.
* Early on, Clint pretends that he's going to cast [[SignatureMove Zone]] [[TruthSerum Of Truth]], then stops, saying he'll cast it at an even more inappropriate moment. Near the end, when most of the party is below half health and an attack has knocked Taako's HPToOne, [[BrickJoke he casts it]], and the crowd promptly loses their minds. The best part? ''It ends up saving the day!''
-->'''Clint''': I SAVE THE DAY!!!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:[=MaxFunCon=] East Live]]
* The Totem of Constructive Criticism. Travis and Justin are both horrified when they realize that they can't choose who they have to give constructive criticism to. Magnus politely requests that Taako be more careful with spells that could hurt Magnus because "our cleric sucks", Merle tells Magnus that he'd worry a lot less if Magnus didn't rush in "like a giant horse's ass", but Taako's takes the cake:
-->'''Travis''': I just want to remind you that this is our daddy.
-->'''Griffin''': Justin? It's our daddy though.
-->'''Justin/Taako''': Your spells... CAN... be used... to heal wounds. So maybe... ''give 'er a shot!''
* ''Everything'' about the boys [[FreakyFridayFlip swapping bodies]] is pretty great, but particularly of note is Travis saying that Magnus in Taako's body ''instinctively reaches for a gemstone instead of catching his friend,'' in spite of Magnus's own desires/better judgement.
* Finally, after 50+ episodes of adventuring and story, the boys have ''finally'' gone into a [[TitleDrop Dungeon and encountered a Dragon...]] [[BaitAndSwitch the dungeon being a shitty kiddie play place and the dragon being a dude in a suit throwing puff balls.]] [[spoiler: Art dropping them into the ''real'' dungeon and forcing them to fight a ''real'' skeletal dragon turns it into a [[Awesome/TheAdventureZone Crowning Moment of Awesome.]]]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Live in Austin!]]
* When they all [[HighSchoolAU wake up as teenagers in a high school dormitory]], Magnus doesn't immediately find anything weird.
* They meet Angus, who is a teenager like them. Here, he's as muscular as Magnus, nearly as tall, and has calm, low voice.
--> '''Angus''': I drink protein shakes every day, it's why I am the way I am, and I hate the way they taste.
* The TotallyRadical teen, Brody, who's never anywhere without his skateboard. [[spoiler: He turns out to be the avatar of the mind flayer who captured them and put them in this dreamscape.]]
* They find Marvey and the Hammerheads smoking in the bathroom. When Marvey tries to say something to them, Magnus immediately punches him in the face for ''15 damage'', knocking him out cold.
* Magnus' oral report for Music Appreciation class is about "One Week" by BarenakedLadies.
** Travis and Justin singing "One Week" from memory ''in unison'' is a [[http://occidentalavian.tumblr.com/post/165133403063/travis-and-justin-fucking-killing-it sound to behold]].
* Merle once again sweet-talks a plant in his Botany class. This causes Travis and Justin to leave the room. ''At a live show.''
* [[spoiler: When Taako [[ItMakesSenseInContext dunks a basketball into the hoop at the center of Brody's final form]], they're released from the DreamLand they were trapped in. They all wake up in a chamber in The Underdark, where their captor, a mind flayer, proclaims "If you get dunked on in the dream, you get dunked on in real life!", and dies on the spot.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Other]]
* The intro to the, sadly difficult to find, [[https://youtu.be/_cyc3gVYBI0 LA Podfest live show]] is jam packed with hilarity.
** Magnus' reasons for rushing in to danger are listed as "[[ChronicHeroSyndrome To help someone in need]]", "[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Thinks there might be something cool over there]]", "Sees a Bird", "Needs footage for stunt reel", and "It's Tuesday".
** The Announcer makes his opinion that time Merle basically had sex with a bunch of vines [[BrainBleach very clear.]]
--->'''Announcer:''' His spiritual power allows him to talk to plants, which one time he used to have sexual intercourse with some vines. I was there, and it was ''very'' upsetting.
*** For bonus funny, the facts that show up when the Announcer mentions he was there includes the line "It has cast a dark shadow on the rest of my days on this Earth."
** When Taako's turn comes around an ''enormous'' lampshade is hung on the fact that his original stated goal, inventing tacos, has been so OutOfFocus it might as well be an AbortedArc.
--->'''Announcer:''' [[HilariousInHindsight We haven't really circled back on that subplot for... a really long time.]]
[[/folder]]
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:In General]]
* Magnus "The Hammer" Burnside's tendency to leap into action without thinking more often than not ends with [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensuing]]. Ironically this is compounded by Travis's tendency to try and have Magnus do something awesome rather than simply hit things until they go away (which doesn't always work anyway). Due to the RandomNumberGod this ends in embarrassment as often as it succeeds.
* Taako's overarching quest is to unlock the ancient Elvish secret of...the taco. [[spoiler: And when he finally gets it, obtaining that secret is integral in ''saving the world''.]]
* Griffin's character voices are priceless at times. As are his attempts to try and keep them all straight in his head.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Here Be Gerblins" Arc]]
* At the very beginning of the adventure:
--> '''Griffin:''' Merle, what are you doing?
--> '''Clint:''' I am probably studying my cantrips. I--
--> '''Travis:''' Just say masturbating, Dad! "Don't come in, Mom, I'm [[UnusualEuphemism studying my cantrips]]!"
* The conclusion of our heroes' first victory involves a confused moment in which Justin observes Clint trying to get out of his chair (despite still having his headphones in) so that he may perform a celebratory "murder dance," followed by proclaiming that he plans to eat all of Justin's shrimp. Justin is less than enthused, but this is a prime example to the listener of exactly what's to come for the series.
* In Wave Echo Cave, our heroes come upon a fungus that reacts to loud noises: namely, it releases a poisonous cloud whenever our [[IdiotHero Idiot Heroes]] talk above a whisper. Not only that, but they're attacked by a slime monster. Despite everyone being fully aware of the noise-triggered fungus, they all proceed to shout at each other for the rest of the combat.
* The party trying to stall and Yeemic becoming more and more agitated.
* By casting a CharmPerson spell on the monstrous Bugbear Klarg, our heroes gain a powerful ally. And it turns out Klarg is a hugger. And Bugbear fur is surprisingly soft and comfy.
* The Climactic Battle with the Black Spider aka Magic Brian ends with a SpotTheImposter game [[spoiler: that is easily resolved since Magic Brian didn't bother to disguise his ridiculous faux-German accent.]]
* In hot pursuit of [[spoiler: Artifact-possessed Gundren Rockseeker]], Magnus attempts to high-five their cart [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext to try and make it go faster]]. Taako finally gets sick of it and casts Sleep on him.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Moonlighting" Lunar Interlude]]
* Johann the Sad Bard plays a song for our heroes during their elevator ride, apparently the most beautiful music they've ever heard. Justin points out the {{Irony}} of them hearing the most beautiful song ever while riding in an elevator.
** When Griffin tries to impress upon the boys just how beautiful this song was, Travis asks him to compare it to [[Music/CarlyRaeJepsen "Call Me Maybe"]], and Griffin says they're equal. Travis, Justin, and Clint are suitably impressed.
* After drinking the Voidfish's...excretion and having their LaserGuidedAmnesia reversed, Taako has a flashback to his childhood, stirring cream on his grandfather Tostada's dairy farm. The cream has gone sour in the hot sun, revealing another piece of the Ancient Elvish Tex-Mex Mystery. The first thing out of Taako's mouth when he comes out of his trance is "Sour Cream!", which causes everyone to look at him funny.
* Griffin has apparently worked up a very elaborate backstory for the Bureau of Balance and the Voidfish, and he manages his InfoDump perfectly twice...then Clint pretends to have not heard it the second time and asks him to repeat it.
* After getting the bracers from Director Lucretia, the heroes ask what happens when they get all the relics and they don't need the bracers anymore.
-->'''Lucretia:''' [[DidntThinkThisThrough Oh shit.]]
* While haggling with the Fantasy Costco cashier:
-->'''Cashier:''' What am I gonna do with an armless robot and an old garbage axe?
-->'''Merle:''' You'll find some fool to buy them just like we're buying this stuff.
-->'''Cashier:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I don't appreciate the implication that I'm gonna wanna do sex stuff with this armless robot! That you're obviously trying to make! This implication, I mean!]]
** Later:
--->'''Cashier:''' Give me your gooey sheets, give me your sex robot, give me your garbage axe--
--->'''Justin:''' This is exactly what the Statue of Liberty says at the bottom, right?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Murder On The Rockport Limited" Arc]]
* Magnus is forced to drink a "dank potion" since he can't carry it on the flight. He instantly becomes a SentimentalDrunk, fawning over Bureau guard Avi.
* Griffin describes how the boys are caked in muck after the fight in the swamp:
--> '''Griffin:''' Dad, you look like some sort of weird shit monster--
--> '''Justin:''' And your character in this game looks pretty bad, too!
* The three players have to impersonate the murder victim, Leman Kessler, and his two bodyguards, but don't decide precisely who is who until Tom Bodett asks them their names. Merle immediately identifies himself as the murder victim, and the other two as his retainers Bo and Diddley. Taako interrupts, claiming to be someone named Leon Kessler, Flan Bodett, and ''Justin''.
* The endless taunting and harassment of [[MeaningfulName Jenkins]].
** [[LampshadeHanging The constant jabs at his voice.]]
** Taako going after him for carrying luggage as opposed to using spells and outright laughing at him. [[BrickJoke He doesn't stop.]]
* Griffin fails to improvise a name for Angus' grandfather, which he [[HandWave Hand Waves]] in-universe by having Angus claim that "[[TheNameless the memory of my grandfather's name died long before I was born.]]"
* Griffin forgot whether he gave Angus an age or not, but didn't break character, leading to this interesting conversation:
-->'''Taako''': Listen, look at us. We’re three grown men trusting a baby, with our secrets. We’re not professionals–
-->'''Angus''': I’m not a baby! I’m f– I’m a– I’m a– eight– what, how old–? I’m, ten– did I say how old I was last time?
-->'''Merle''': Ten.
-->'''Angus''': Ten it is!
* Justin's ScrewThisImOuttaHere rant as Taako flees from a crab monster.
* While interrogating Graham the Juicy Wizard, Magnus, playing Bad Cop to Taako's Good Cop, ends up smacking him a little too hard, forcing Merle to use a Healing spell on him. It turns out to be Clint's best roll to date in the game, meaning he just wasted a perfect spell on an NPC that they were slapping around for fun.
* Finding himself outnumbered and outgunned, [[spoiler:Jenkins]] tries to negotiate by pointing out that if they destroy his remaining Flesh Golem, they will have no way of stopping the train from crashing into Neverwinter. The party tells him to take a hike so he decides to [[TakingYouWithMe be dramatic]] by firing a spell at the golem himself...and getting a low roll that causes him to miss by a country mile. The next turn is by that same Flesh Golem...who immediately tosses [[spoiler:Jenkins]] off the train.
* The party discusses how to deal with the now RunawayTrain:
--> '''Clint''': Is it possible we can disconnect the locomotive from the rest of the train?
--> '''Griffin''': Yeah, but the locomotive is still gonna hit Neverwinter and it's gonna cause a lot of damage.
--> '''Clint''': [[DestructiveSavior Have you met us?]]
--> '''Justin''': [[SomebodyElsesProblem That's some other D&D game's problem.]]
--> '''Clint''': Yeah! Let 'em fix...
--> '''Griffin''': ''[Laughs]'' Wait a minute, wait a minute: "You have safely brought the princess back to her chambers in Neverwinter after besting the nineteen dragons of the Horrid Rim and- OH FUCK, A TRAIN!!! OH MY GOD NO A TRAIN JUST RAN INTO- Oh, God, no. Oh Jesus."
--> '''Justin''': I'm just living out my lifelong dream of reenacting the end of ''Film/SilverStreak''. It's all I've ever wanted.
* Toward the end of the arc, everyone starts choosing new character voices, to help distinguish when they're talking in character. Clint goes through a series of characters he used to do for radio, before settling on a "Creepy Youth Minister" voice for Merle.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Carnival Chaos" Lunar Interlude]]
* During the Midsummer carnival, our heroes head to the Fry Witch's stand, who can conjure and deep-fry anything you desire. Magnus asks for some specific unicorn parts: the penis and the horn. They're both difficult to eat, for very different reasons. And immediately after the weirdness on the Moon starts:
-->'''Clint''': And Magnus immediately assumes he got a hold of some bad unicorn dick.
* Lucretia's response to Magnus [[SlapYourselfAwake slapping her awake]]:
-->'''Griffin''': She slaps you back.
-->'''Lucretia''': Booyah.
* Magnus picks a Mystery Bag from the Fantasy Costco...which contains a goldfish in a glass ball. He names it "Steven" and insists that he has magical powers.
** Magnus insisting that Lucretia say Hi to his fish.
---> '''Lucretia:''' You want me to address– Oh look at that. Yes, yes. I see you've got a little friend there. Does he do anything?
---> '''Magnus:''' He swims around in his tiny ball. And he loves me.
* While Taako tries to figure out the magical item distributing machine, Magnus and Merle enact a FunnyBackgroundEvent of Merle shooting an arrow at Magnus so that he can catch it with his new Fletcher's Mitt artifact. Due to the influence of the RandomNumberGod, it fails miserably.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Petals to the Metal" Arc]]
* Partway through the arc, Travis decides to switch voices for Magnus, going from a typical gruff Tough Guy voice to a bombastic WesternAnimation/DudleyDoright inflection, which he refers to as "Golden Age Magnus."
* Merle attempts a CharmPerson spell on nearby plants and animals, and discovers that he now has control over Magnus's goldfish Steven. DungeonMaster Griffin has to admit that he doesn't even know what that means. Merle just makes him poop.
* The infamous [=Merle/vines=] sex scene. Between Clint's dirty-talking, Griffin's description of the vines' reactions, and Justin and Travis' [[BrainBleach utter horror]], it's hard to even pick a funniest part.
-->'''Justin:''' Statistically speaking, at least one of our listeners has just discovered that they are in possession of ~''the world's worst fetish!''~
* Griffin's reaction to Taako now knowing the "Blink" spell, which enables him to teleport between dimensions:
-->'''Griffin''': You can fucking [[ComicBook/XMen Nightcrawl]] now?!
-->'''Justin''': Yep. I can ''Bamf''.
* Coupled with Magnus's in-character reaction to Taako using it for the first time:
-->'''Travis''': And Magnus ''loses his damn mind.''
* Merle's attempts to talk down and/or distract Trent the Treant, who is badly wounded, trying to kill them, and not very bright to begin with.
-->'''Merle''': If you'll just look at this Extreme Teen Bible...
-->'''Trent''': [[NoIndoorVoice I CAN'T READ! I'M A TREE!]].
* Taako killing Trent.
--> '''Taako:''' So, um. Just born, huh?
--> '''Trent:''' Yeah! I'm Trent the treant! I was just born today-
--> '''Taako:''' ''(immediately casts Scorching Rays)'' '''[[Film/IndependenceDay WELCOME TO]] [[MemeticMutation EARF]].'''
* Magnus's attempts to open the strongbox involve Travis making various attribute check rolls. They get very meta and very ridiculous in a hurry:
** Strength Check: Magnus picks the box up over his head. Nothing happens.
** Dexterity Check: Magnus throws the box up in the air and dodges it on the way down [[note]] He gets hit by the box, since he failed the roll [[/note]].
** Constitution Check: Magnus and the box both drink poison. Magnus survives. The box dies, and opens.
* Taako is asked why he chose a mongoose mask, and gets a little bit too real:
-->'''Taako''': Because the mongoose has specialized acetylcholine receptors that make it impervious to venom, so they’re known for killing snakes. Very surprisingly dangerous – you know, like Riki Tiki Tavi? … You know? You know not everything has to be a joke. Sometimes you can just be honest about your feelings! And that’s how I see myself, you know? I may not be the most threatening silhouette but I like to think of myself as somebody who can stand up for- you know, it doesn’t always have to be goof-goof-dildo the whole time, okay? You know, I’m traveling around with the boner squad and I never get to say what I’m feeling! I have emotions! It’s not all ‘Abra-ca-fuck-you’ and what have you! I have a beating heart! I'm multi-dimensional! I’m a fully-realized creation! Fuck!
* Once the WackyRaces-style battlewagon race starts, the Funny and Awesome come at breakneck speed. Of particular note is Taako's summoning of Garyl, the ridiculously-cool Spectral Unicorn that speaks with a mellow Creator/MatthewMcConaughey voice, whose stats are apparently as great as the plot requires.
* The conclusion to the arc, when the group finally gets the Gaia Sash. First, Taako not only fails to resist the call of an artifact for the first time, but he ''critically fails.'' Then [[spoiler:the voices of Hurley and The Raven call out to him, giving him another shot...]] and he fails ''again,'' at which point Magnus punches him in the head and Merle grabs the sash, at which point...
--> '''Gaia Sash:''' C'mon, man, put me on! There's no plant - [[CallBack no vine you'll never be able to not fuck!]] I'll give you sexual conquest over anything! Whaddya wanna fuck, an onion?
--> '''Merle:''' I don't need your help, pal!
--> '''Griffin, incredulous:''' ''Fucking an onion?!''
** [[HilariousInHindsight This becomes even funnier]] given the fact that [[spoiler:Merle ''created'' the Gaia Sash in the first place!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Crystal Kingdom" Arc]]
* During the Bureau's "[[YouMeanXmas Candle Nights]]" party:
-->'''Lucretia''': I do not expect any gifts from you, I am your employer. Frankly, that would be...
-->'''Magnus''': I hand her a coupon for "One Free Backrub".
-->'''Lucretia''': ''[[[TheComicallySerious deadpan]]]'' This is exactly what I was actually afraid of. This is...Magnus, this is the ''nightmare scenario''.
-->'''Magnus''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint You can use that whenever!]]
* Upon meeting Killian's team, the party is introduced to a surly-looking dwarf who looks like Merle was "blended" and then put back together. The visor to his space suit rises, revealing his scowling face as cigar smoke billows from his helmet. In a gravelly voice, he growls:
-->'''Dwarf''': "My name... is Boy-Land."
** The next episode opens with Griffin reading a message from Boyland's real life namesake claiming that while his [[ItsPronouncedTroPay name is actually pronounced "boy-luhnd"]], he 100% endorses the other pronounciation for his fictional counterpart.
* As Magnus and Merle fight a cockroach while shrunken down to miniature size, Taako (who is still normal size) spends the whole time more concerned with his sandwich than his friends' lives. When he does finally decide to help, he goes to distract the cockroach by creating an illusion of a female cockroach in a sexy dress, only to realize that [[SkewedPriorities that's heteronormative]] and create an illusion of another sandwich instead.
* As they enter an arcane airlock for the first time, Griffin describes it as being similar to one you'd find on a submarine, or a ''spaceship'', to which Travis says:
--> '''Travis''': "Which we have all been in!"
-->'''Griffin''': "Um, no. Well... [[{{Foreshadowing}} maybe]]?"
-->'''Clint''': [[HilariousInHindsight Maybe in the backstory!]]
-->'''Griffin''': [[TeasingCreator Probably not]].
* Angus awkwardly ending the phone call with Magnus.
--> ('''Magnus:''' Let us know if you come up with anything.)
--> '''Angus:''' Yeah, no problem! ..... I lo- I love you!
--> '''Magnus:''' Love you too.
--> '''Clint:''' Shut up, don't- No. Please, no.
* Taako angrily ranting about how he's done with elevators since last time he was inside one, "vines tried to eat [his] dick". When Magnus tries to pick him up and carry him inside the Elevator Of Tomorrow, Taako wildly protests:
-->'''Taako''': You will not like how this ends! I ''will'' burn a spell slot, I give no shits!
** When the elevator starts shrinking down Taako starts "running around with his hands in the air like [[Creator/MichaelJordan Jordan]] after he won one of his many basketball championships".
--> '''Taako:''' Do you see? ''Do you SEE?'' Don't look so stupid now, do I? You tiny ''bitches''! I could ''eat you!''
** As shrunk-down Merle and Magnus watch the small futuristic version of Neverwinter in the elevator, Taako does Godzilla impressions outside of the elevator above them.
* Travis accidentally breaks the fourth wall by asking Justin a question instead of Taako, which turns into an absurd bit about "Fantasy Justin," a combination phone sex operator and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delilah_(radio_host) Delilah]]-style radio personality.
-->'''Griffin:''' "This is Fantasy Justin filling in for Delilah, who I have killed and taken over her life, ''Film/TheTalentedMrRipley''-style."
-->'''Justin:''' If you're like me out there, you are just looking for that shoulder to cry on. If you're like me out there also, you're [[RefugeInAudacity wearing Delilah's skin]].
-->'''Travis:''' ...I hate you guys so much.
* When the party asks for a "problem-solving" question from Hodge Podge the trivia robot, he [[MotorMouth speeds through the various clues to the logic puzzle more and more quickly.]] Magnus immediately answers despite catching absolutely none of it (in character, at least), and so...
--> '''Hodge Podge:''' Almost — completely — wrong!
* The "Stump Hodge Podge" bonus round is also worth mentioning: Merle asks him [[WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove what love is]] and receives an exact dictionary definition, then tries (unsuccessfully) to salvage it by claiming the right answer was "a score of zero in tennis"; Magnus asks if they all get a shot, and while they do, [[WastefulWishing that counts as his question]]; and Taako tries "why did the chicken cross the road," which gets rejected as being a riddle rather than trivia. It only devolves further from there.
* Merle's painkiller-induced ramblings [[spoiler: after having his arm chopped off]] are hilarious. Especially because he's basically telling the truth; it's just so weird that nobody believes him.
--> '''Merle:''' God lied to me! Then there was this British guy...
* Taako's... ''unique'' way of attacking Kravitz--and asking for his name--in a fight where the gang is mostly-paralyzed:
--> '''Taako, casting [[CombatTentacles Evard's Black Tentacles]]:''' Hey thug! What's your name! [[RefugeInAudacity I'm about to tentacle your dick!]]
** There's also something hilarious about the fact that [[spoiler: ''this is how Taako meets his future boyfriend.'']]
* Griffin turning his inability to keep Kravitz' cockney British accent consistent into a joke.
* When they finally get their hands on the Philosopher's Stone, Magnus attempts to ''eat it.'' [[spoiler:And succeeds, even though -- being a powerful magical object -- the Glutton's Fork can't transmute it.]]
** This presents a problem when they return to the Bureau of Balance and need to, ahem, ''procure'' the artifact. [[spoiler:Taako and Merle eventually manage to extricate it by transforming Magnus' entire body to stone and using Stone Shape to turn the lower half of his body into a corkscrew slide through which the artifact can roll.]]
* Magnus stealing Angus' nose - Angus freaks out.
** When he reaches up to touch his nose and realizes it's still there, he comments on how "that joke was a dark one".
* An easy-to-miss one: if the song "Crystal Minuet" from this arc's soundtrack sounds familiar, it's because it uses the [[MemeticMutation memetic]] saxophone melody from "Run Away With Me" by Music/CarlyRaeJepsen.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Rest & Relaxation" Lunar Interlude]]
* In reference to the party's past troubles using the Fantasy Gachapon correctly, Leon attempts to entice our heroes with three pieces of their favorite candy if each of them can correctly operate the machine. [[spoiler:Magnus and Merle both comply with the request, but Taako instead blinks behind Leon, steals the candy, and replaces it with his Gachapon Token. Leon falls to the floor and begins to weep.]]
-->'''Leon:''' We were so... We were ''so close'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext to Candy Station...]]
-->'''Taako:''' (clearly holding back laughter) I'm already pullin' in [[YiddishAsASecondLanguage bubela]]!
** What makes this even better [[spoiler: is when Taako then grabs his token from Leon's prone, weeping form and puts it into the Gachapon perfectly while munching on his candy, meaning that he's doing all of this ''solely'' to be a dick to Leon.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Eleventh Hour" Arc]]
* In the third episode, having realized they're in a GroundhogDayLoop, Merle and Magnus decide to bet ten diamonds (which they don't have) in an arm-wrestling match against a Goliath, figuring that if worse comes to worst they can avoid any consequences. They quickly realize that while they may be able to avoid ''long-term'' consequences, that doesn't stop them from getting the snot beaten out of them by an angry giant. Cue desperate attempts to get out of trouble.
* With another loop coming up, Taako starts flying spells left and right, just because he can.
* Once our heroes get to the booby-trapped mine, the nature of the GroundhogDayLoop means that they start shamelessly making use of SaveScumming to move the story along...much to the apparent consternation of the mysterious old lady who's running it.
--> '''Magnus:''' Sorry! We're working on it! Be back in a minute!
* The team goes through the entire booby-trapped mine three times trying to solve a [[WireDilemma wire-cutting puzzle]] by process of elimination. When Merle realizes that there was a key in the first room that would solve the puzzle without having to go through all the wire-cutting and explosions, Magnus makes the only reasonable decision:
--> '''Magnus:''' Well if we're already here, hold on, I'll get us out of here!
--> ''Magnus cuts all five wires at once, the boys go to Heaven.''
* The second time Taako visits Ren in the Davy Lamp, Griffin mentions that the piano player is playing Jock Jams on the piano. He mentions that he's going to leave a silence to edit that in later, then expresses doubt that he could figure out how to do that within 24 hours. Almost immediately, the soundtrack kicks in with a piano rendition of Get Ready For This.
* Taako had gotten a prophecy from Paloma that was a vision of rail tracks and Paloma practically yelling "Turn right" in his face for a solid minute. A few episodes later, during a chase scene in a mine, they have a fork in the tracks and Taako needs to choose which way to go. While Justin hems and haws, you can hear Travis struggling in the background, eventually yelling at at him to go right repeatedly and ending up on the floor. Made funnier by the fact that they're all recording in the same room for once and Justin is clearly aware of all this.
-->'''Travis''': *Rolling on the floor in exasperated pain.*
-->'''Justin''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Trav, please, my daughter's sleeping.]]
* In a scene familiar to anyone with siblings, Justin teases Travis for asking if Luca the skeleton is alive and Travis gets ''really'' defensive.
-->'''Travis:''' IT'S D&D! SKELETONS MOVE IN THIS GAME, JUSTIN!
-->'''Justin:''' Hey Griffin, is the rug alive? It's D&D, so...
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Calm Before The Storm" Lunar Interlude]]
* Taako attempts to negotiate with the BountyHunter-esque GrimReaper for the lives of himself, his party, and the entire population of Refuge. He holds this meeting at the local wine-and-pottery place on what turns out to be ''couples' night''. Why did Taako changed the location from the party's dorm, their previous meeting place?
-->'''Taako:''' Well, ironically, because I thought it would get ''weird''. [...] I don't know why I thought this would be the better option.
** Said wine and pottery place is called the [[SophisticatedAsHell Chug and Squeeze]].
* One of the Fantasy Costco items on sale this time around, The Slicer of T'pire Wire Isles, is a magically enticing but otherwise largely unremarkable stone which the user, on a successful persuasion check, can barter for the most valuable item in someone's possession. Another, the Pocket Guide to Adventuring, grants advantage on any skill check once per day. Taako buys both, reads the section on Persuasion, and then ''[[GuileHero immediately trades the stone back to Garfield]] for [[InfinityPlusOneSword the Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword of Doom,]]'' which Griffin had [[HoistByHisOwnPetard specifically priced obscenely high]] so that none of the party would ever be able to buy it. [[spoiler:And then he doesn't even wield it or give it to Magnus, preferring to wear it as an accessory.]]
-->'''Taako:''' Garfield?\\
'''Garfield:''' Yes?\\
'''Taako:''' I have something that I think is ''really'' gonna interest you.\\
[[{{Beat}} *beat*]]\\
'''Griffin (OOC):''' [[OhCrap OH MY]] [[BigOMG GOD!]]
** Griffin also mentions that no less than ''20'' listener-submitted Fantasy Costco items were vaping themed, for some reason.
* Taako's unfathomably dickish treatment of Leon the Artificer reaches its zenith in this round at the Fantasy Gachapon; [[spoiler: After Magnus and Merle put their coins in and get their respective items with no incident (other than Merle trying to make it fancy), Taako seemingly goes over to the machine and puts his coin in, causing Leon to fall prostrate on the ground, weeping and giving thanks to a god none of them have heard of before... cue the coin flying out of the machine and bonking Leon on the head while "Taako" disappears from in front of the machine, revealing that Taako (now screaming with laughter at Leon's misfortune) had cast Mislead out in the hall to dupe Leon as he stayed at the door.]] Taako is laughing so hard that he doesn't even really want anything from the Gachapon, as nothing will be able to give him as much joy as seeing Leon's dead, broken expression at having been tricked again.
** And then [[spoiler: while Leon is practically catatonic from the mental agony ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Taako declares "I win!" and then picks up his token and uses it to get a magic item from the Gachapon.]]'']]
*** And for bonus points [[spoiler: ''This is the absolute last time we ever see Leon in the campaign''.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Suffering Game" Arc]]
* After Magnus [[spoiler:knocks out two guards and stores them in the Pocket Workshop]], Griffin immediately 1) expresses annoyance that now he has to name them both and 2) establishes a two-person limit so that he can't keep "pokémon-ing" people to have an "infinite bag of boys."
* While choosing voices to use for Lydia and Edward:
-->'''Griffin''': Hmmm...I'm thinking maybe [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Team Rocket?]]\\
'''Travis''': [[{{Squee}} YES]]!
* As Merle is being given a PrisonersDilemma in episode two, Taako ''almost immediately'' cuts in with shouts of "forsake."
** A few episodes later, when the same scenario pops up, Taako ''immediately'' uses Mage Hand to mash the "Forsake" button, prompting Lydia to gently remind him that they need to ''select'' someone to make the choice first. Which still ends up being Taako.
* During the fight in [[spoiler: the Monster Factory, Taako's bad luck kicks in. Cue a ''washing machine'' (or a piece of industrial machinery akin to it) falling out of the air and slamming into Taako's midsection and legs apropos of nothing. It's PlayedForDrama, but the sheer absurdity of it wouldn't be out of place in a Warner Brothers cartoon.]]
* After Justin gets annoyed that Griffin won't let him cast stone flesh on the [[spoiler: the poisonous regenerating slime]], he decides to make Taako cast Disintegrate on it, but using the Umbra Staff to cast it out of his butt. [[spoiler: And it works. Really well]]
* When they meet Cam he's playing dead (a very easy thing to do in his circumstances) but, when touched, opens his eyes and yells "BLAAAH!". Magnus does not react at all and acts like it didn't happen.
* Clint trying to justify giving up Merle's wedding ring, [[BlatantLies which he's definitely had this whole time,]] as a sacrifice for the boys' second go on the wheel. This despite the fact that he 1) hated his ex-wife and 2) ''was the one to walk out on his family.'' The boys aren't having it.
--> '''Griffin:''' I'm a shithead, feel bad for me, the Oprah special! You get a car!
* Taako's reaction when he finds out about [[spoiler: Merle's kids]]:
--> '''Taako:''' [[SarcasmMode Imagine my shock, ]][[spoiler: [[SarcasmMode Merle's a deadbeat dad]]]][[SarcasmMode . Agag. Agog. I'm aghast. As nurturing as he is, you know?]]
* One of Merle's roulette wheel spins doesn't really line up with his ability set, leading to this exchange:
--> '''Edward:''' How about this? In your next battle here in Wonderland, you're gonna be a real dunce. And if you accept this--
--> '''Magnus:''' No, but what's his punishment?
--> '''Taako:''' Yeah, but then what happens after?
* The fact that in the BossRush fight Cam keeps rolling really high on Dex and dodging things and casting spells that cause hideous amounts of damage. He's a ''talking head''.
* Taako deciding that he's over and done with the BossRush fight, and decides to cut to the chase by [[spoiler: polymorphing himself into a ''fucking '''Tyrannosaurus Rex''''' and chomping the recreated Shark Tank from ''Petals to the Metal'' in half in one bite, bisecting the mannequin Marvey in much the same way that Magnus did to the real deal. He also maintains his wizard hat, but its comically tiny upon his now massive head.]]
* Edward the Lich's hilariously inept attempts to [[spoiler: impersonate Magnus once he's hijacked Magnus's body.]]
--> '''[[spoiler: Fake!]]Magnus:''' Yep, that's me! Magnus! I'm rushing in!
* The party is ''very'' done by the time the arc is finished.
--> '''The Animus Bell:''' How would you like to live forever?
--> '''[[spoiler:Magnus:]]''' I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.
** Almost immediately comes back to a tearjerker when Travis says that [[spoiler: Magnus, while not necessarily a death seeker, is looking forward to dying so that he can see his wife again.]]
* Despite being unconscious, Taako manages to get out a BondOneLiner so ridiculous that Merle and Magnus can't decide if they're horrified or impressed:
-->'''Taako:''' [[spoiler: Liches... get... stitches.]]
* Travis' reaction to learning [[spoiler: Lydia completely destroyed Magnus' body as payback for her brother's death, trapping Magnus in the mannequin he was forced to possess.]]
-->'''Travis:'''[[spoiler: My beautiful body!]]
* TheReveal that the Red Robe is, in fact, [[spoiler:Barry Bluejeans, of all people.]] Griffin builds it up as this huge, dramatic twist — and, to some extent, it is — but Clint understandably goes into conniptions as soon as the words [[spoiler:"sturdy, denim, and blue"]] drop and everything clicks into place.
* When things are looking especially grim for the party during the final battle against Lydia and Edward, Taako lampshades how the party is usually saved from such situations by a DeusExMachina:
-->There has to be [[ActionGirl a competent woman]] somewhere! That’s what we always lean on when we’re in dire straits, a competent woman!
** This is doubly funny given that [[spoiler: Lydia and Edward were ultimately defeated by the Umbra Staff, which was created by, is currently imprisoning and is partially controlled by Lup. So in a way, they actually ''were'' saved by a competent woman!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"Reunion Tour" Lunar Interlude]]
* This exchange:
-->'''Clint/Merle:''' So wait, are we now [[spoiler: going against the Bureau of Balance?]]\\
'''Travis/Magnus:''' Yes, Dad. [[BreakingTheFourthWall Surprising no one on Reddit.]]
* While the debate over the pros and cons of [[spoiler: Magnus returning to his body]] is mostly a TearJerker, it does have a few funny lines courtesy of Taako:
** Taako points out that he and Merle would absolutely abuse their responsibility of [[spoiler: reeducating Magnus about the world]].
--->'''Taako:''' I mean, you are coming back as the [[ImYourBiggestFan A-number-one fan]] of Taako and also my [[BeleagueredAssistant personal assistant]], ''for sure''.
** When Magnus tries to explain [[spoiler: [[AndIMustScream the true cost of being in a mannequin body]]]]:
--->'''Magnus:''' [[spoiler: [[SenseLossSadness I can't feel]] ''[[SenseLossSadness anything.]]'']]
--->'''Taako:''' [[spoiler: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint So you can't feel sad that you don't have a body!]]]]
* Merle's attempt to give Magnus a heartfelt goodbye.
-->'''Merle:''' See ya, good boy.
-->'''Magnus:''' Okay. Weird.
* During Merle and Taako's confrontation with [[spoiler: Angus]] in the Lucretia's Private Chamber, Griffin asks them to do a Charisma Saving Throw. When they handily succeed, Griffin reveals that [[spoiler: Angus just tried to use Zone of Truth on them.]]
-->'''Merle:''' HA! Thought you could try that move on me? I ''invented'' that move!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:"The Stolen Century" Arc]]
* Griffin lets the players come up with the name for the [[spoiler: IPRE ship]]. Their suggestions include "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boaty_McBoatface Boaty McBoatface]]", "The Laser Spinnaker", and the eventual winner, "Starblaster".
-->'''Griffin''': I still can't believe they named it that.
* The entire press conference scene, which gets dragged further and further off-topic as Justin, Travis, and Clint have fun coming up with goofy names and publications for reporters. By the time Clint [[TalkingToHimself interviews Merle]] as [[Series/{{Cheers}} Cliff Clavin]] and [[ButHeSoundsHandsome compliments his incredible physique]], any attempt at seriousness or professionalism has been abandoned.
** [[spoiler: Barry]] gives an excited and detailed answer to one reporter, prompting [[spoiler: Lup]] to make fun of him for being a nerd in a StageWhisper.
** [[spoiler: Lup's]] reason for wanting to [[spoiler: go on the IPRE voyage]] was because she felt she'd already "crushed it" in [[spoiler: her original world]] and saw it as an opportunity to [[SkewedPriorities "expand her brand"]]. She then calls out a guy who owes her $15 and performs a MicDrop that makes [[spoiler: Davenport]] wince.
** Aside from Cliff Clavin, the crowd of reporters also includes a [[StrawmanPolitical vaguely Libertarian guy complaining about tax-funded research]] via Skype, "Wisp Blinkman from [[VideoGame/EyeOfTheBeholder eyeofthebeholder]]\[[Website/GeoCities geocities.com]]", a guy called "Name Name from ''Publication''" (changed by Griffin to "Jeff Jeffins from the ''Jeff Report''" after Travis complains), and an inexplicable cameo by [[{{Series/Frasier}} Frasier Crane]] (whom Cliff enthusiastically greets as he hadn't seen him since [[Series/{{Cheers}} "the original show"]]).
** When Travis enquires about the ship's weaponry, Griffin as Davenport tosses the question over to the ship's Security Officer...[[TalkingToHimself Magnus]]:
--->'''Travis''': And Magnus like flips his cool guy fantasy shades and he asks "Uh...what was the question?" ''[OOC]'' Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
--->''[[[{{Beat}} Awkward silence]]]''
--->'''Griffin''' [[EpicFail ...you asked it]].
* [[spoiler: Lucretia]] being so absorbed in her note-taking that she ends up StrollingThroughTheChaos of the bar fight.
* Griffin originally expected ''The Stolen Century'' to be a short and quick-moving arc that they could wrap up in two episodes. Naturally, it takes the boys half of the first episode ''just to [[spoiler: leave their home world]]''.
** Griffin also points out that that half of the episode comprises what his notes refer to as "Year Zero". Of an arc called "''The Stolen '''Century'''''".
* One of the cycles takes the crew to [[spoiler:the world of ''Characters/TheAdventureZoneNights'']], where they quickly determine that they have no hope of [[spoiler:finding the Light of Creation and saving the plane. Travis' response to Clint pointing out that Griffin is, essentially, destroying his game world is to claim that he'll have the next session of ''TAZ Nights'' start with a random guy waking up and revealing that ''TAZ Balance'' was AllJustADream.]]
* After Merle chooses to spend his "turn" with [[spoiler:Lucretia]] recording the history of the robot civilization and the stories they have to tell so that their culture lives on, it's Taako's turn... and he ''[[MoodWhiplash immediately]]'' announces that he and [[spoiler:Lup]] are going to [[HeroicComedicSociopath loot the entire city and murder the robots for resources]]. Fortunately, he doesn't end up having to do that, but...
** And after they find that they can just loot the uninhabited ruins of the city instead, Lup finds a Tommy gun... and immediately unloads it into the air shouting "Count the Shells!". '''''Twice'''''. [[spoiler: She even hands the robotic Troth one of the guns she found and tells her to [[SophisticatedAsHell "Light them the fuck up"]].]]
* Clint stressing that the stories that they hear from the robots emphasize [[Characters/TheAdventureZoneNights an especially handsome bard]].
* Griffin asking Travis for help with some worldbuilding and then immediately teasing him about it:
-->'''Griffin:''' What's the symbol of [[spoiler: the Beasts of the Ring]] look like, Trav?
-->'''Travis:''' It's a... it's a howling wolf with a, uh... a gear as the moon.
-->'''Griffin:''' Okay, it's just a dog yelling at some technology, I like it.
-->'''Travis:''' It's a howling wolf on a gear, alright?
-->'''Griffin:''' It's a dog who saw a gear and got really scared and yelled at it!
* [[spoiler: Lup]] gives a touching, teary speech to the rest of the crew about how she has to believe that there's some way to [[spoiler: save the worlds that have already been devoured by the Hunger]]... because [[CallBack Greg Grimaldis still]] [[MoodWhiplash owes her $15]]. The funniest part is that this happens [[spoiler: ''seventeen years'' after the IPRE crew left their home world, meaning Lup has been carrying this grudge for close to two decades]].
* Clint makes a roll so bad that Merle almost dies ''during the'' ''BeachEpisode''.
** What makes it even funnier is that Griffin immediately walks it back, declaring that EveryoneLives during the Beach Episode, but Clint insists on playing Merle as if [[ItMakesSenseInContext he's just been poisoned by an exploding seashell]], spending a good chunk of the loop vomiting into a hole in the ground.
* Merle's whole gift-giving scene just keeps getting worse as each recipient finds an increasingly transparent excuse to get rid of whatever trash Merle gave them. By the time he gives [[spoiler: Lup]] a hollowed-out jellyfish to use as a shower cap, she just tells him that she's not going to put a dead fish on her head and then drops it on the floor, claiming [[BlatantLies an invisible demon knocked it out of her hands]].
* When asked how he's going to spend his year, Magnus closely examines a beautiful piece of driftwood, which Travis builds up like it's the beginning of Magnus' love of carpentry. Then he [[BaitAndSwitch throws it in the air, yells for]] [[spoiler: Lup]] [[BaitAndSwitch to use it as target practice]], and spends the whole year sneaking up on people and scaring them to keep them on their toes.
-->[[CatchPhrase "MAGNUS!"]]
* Taako and [[spoiler: Barry's]] conversation near the end of the BeachEpisode is definitely heartwarming, but it also contains such gems as Taako speaking like a SurferDude the whole time and [[spoiler: Barry]] saying that he's not in love with [[spoiler: Lup]], he just has a crush [[CannotSpitItOut that's gone on for 21 years]].
* As part of a trial to gain the Light of Creation, Merle has to successfully use a spell called Parlay to put himself at risk to communicate with his enemy [[spoiler: and the crew chooses to use this to get some insight into The Hunger.]] The catch? He has to be naked to cast it. Taako leaves the room after hearing that and then ''leaves the room he left to'' after Merle actually starts stripping.
** He actually ''doesn't'' have to be naked, but Merle insists on at least taking his shirt off.
* In a dimension where there is no war or military, Magnus channels his skills and energies into coaching a kids' sports team. Travis presents us with a Category-5 ClicheStorm, with Griffin barely keeping up with the kids' voices, and [[{{Corpsing}} barely keeping it together]].
** Magnus' obligatory RousingSpeech quickly turns into an ItsAllAboutMe moment, with him telling the kids that the magic wasn't [[ItWasWithYouAllAlong inside them all along]] because it was actually inside ''him'', that they shouldn't worry about the crowd or the other team because the only thing they need to worry about is disappointing him and making him look bad, and that if they do badly in the game [[CrossesTheLineTwice he won't save the plane at the end of the year when the Hunger comes]].
** During said RousingSpeech, Clint chimes in with a character-voice-less comment even though Merle isn't in the scene. The other boys decide that, InUniverse, this came from a nearby [[TakeThat loser janitor named Clint [=McElroy=] who was fired for embezzlement]].
* When entering [[spoiler: the Voidfish's homeworld]], the crew hears a cacophony of different songs, poems and stories. Griffin allows the players to decide what particularly stuck out to their characters, so Travis decides that Magnus' Animal Handling proficiency means he would hear a song about animals--specifically, "Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men.
** Merle hears "Cheeseburger in Paradise - Live Version" by Jimmy Buffet. And Taako?
--->'''Justin''': ''[[PaulBlartMallCop Paul Blart]] 3''. That's right. It's coming, folks!
* In the midst of the Statues leveling serious accusations about the character of our heroes, one of them takes the time to call Merle out on his plant fetish to which he asks if he can plead differently for each of the charges and also delivers an {{Pun}} which receives a LamePunReaction from Griffin.
* Equally funny and heartwarming is Taako's response to [[spoiler: Lup's]] request to give her "the best day ever:" he takes her to an abandoned [[ObstructiveBureaucracy DMV building]] and lets her ''utterly trash it''. Yeah, Taako gets her.
* [[spoiler: Lup's]] first action upon [[spoiler: becoming a lich]] is to ''dab''. The absurdity is compounded by the MoodWhiplash of this moment coming directly after a long, tense, emotional buildup to the ritual.
* [[spoiler: As the IPRE crew is deciding where to hide their Relics, Taako, in his own inimitable fashion, chucks the Philosopher's Stone down a well in Phandalin, yells that there's a cool rock down the well, and promptly fucks off.]] In this massive TearJerker of an episode this is a stark moment of levity.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: "Story and Song" Finale]]
* With great fanfare, the Dungeons and Dragons ruleset returns, with both Merle and Taako having to make saving throws... and Clint immediately rolls a 2. Justin makes fun of him... [[LaserGuidedKarma and then rolls a 2 himself.]]
* Justin's comment while explaining how he's kitted out Taako with his experience points:
-->'''Justin''': Should I talk slower so that everyone who's been complaining about us not playing D&D has time to nut?
* After nearly three years, Magnus ''finally'' gets to use his [[RunningGag Animal Handling proficiency]].
* [[spoiler: The first thing Lup says after Taako releases her lich form from the Umbra Staff, proving that she's still alive and herself; ''"You're dating the Grim Reaper?!"'']]
** On that note, [[spoiler: In a crossover with [[AwesomeMoment Awesome]], Lup's [[TranquilFury reaction]] to Edward entering the Umbra Staff during the events of ''The Suffering Game''.]]
-->'''[[spoiler:Lup]]''': ''[[spoiler: I'm gonna fucking kill you now.]]''
* While both moments are [[Tearjerker/TheAdventureZone very]] [[Heartwarming/TheAdventureZone emotional]] in different ways, the fact that this is the second episode ''in a row'' where [[spoiler: Barry's been willing to instantly die for Lup unprompted]] is kind of hilarious.
* As [[spoiler: Lup, Barry, and Taako jump off the edge of the Bureau's base down to the remains of Phandalin,]] Taako turns to the others before going over:
-->'''Taako:''' Don't worry, guys. I have magic powers. *jumps off the edge and casts Levitate on himself*
-->'''Magnus:''' ...Was that supposed to be some sort of reveal?
* When [[spoiler: Barry and Lup]] start getting overwhelmed by the Hunger's forces as Taako struggles to open a window to the Astral Plane, who should show up in nick of time to turn the tide? Why, it's [[spoiler: Upsy, Your Lifting Friend of course! And now the world's most horrifying elevator has ''arms and legs'' and is being piloted by Lucas!]]
** On that note, the fact that despite [[spoiler: growing a pretty kickass beard, Lucas is still the same nerdy loser he was in ''The Crystal Kingdom''.]]
* Despite having absolutely ''no idea'' [[spoiler: what ''VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}'' even ''is'', Taako mocks Joaquin for being a Genji main.]]
* There's a lot of great callbacks in part 2 of the finale (including "[[spoiler:no dogs on the moon]]", after [[spoiler:Avi knocks the Royal Wolf off the moonbase]], but the best one has got to be:
-->[[spoiler:'''Joaquin''': Everything's going to be alright. I've got magic powers.]]
* [[spoiler: Before Kravitz and Taako kiss, Kravitz stops and cups his hands to his mouth to warm up his normally ice-cold lips so the kiss won't be "cold and weird."]]
** [[spoiler: However, the reason he's cold is because he's undead, and thus has no internal body heat. His breath would've been just as cold as his lips!]]
* The reaction of everyone involved in [[spoiler: the [[StatingTheSimpleSolution collective realization that Lucretia could've just sealed away The Hunger with her barrier instead of risking reality's bonds.]]]]
-->[[spoiler:"Huh".]]
* [[spoiler: As the crew of the ''Starblaster'', sans Barry and Lup, prepare to leave the Bureau headquarters and take the fight to the Hunger itself, Magnus offers up his grandfather's knife to Angus for luck. It makes for a heartwarming farewell... before it's immediately followed by about three minutes worth of less and less tearful farewells and increasingly thoughtless or inane gestures of affection. By the end of it Davenport and Lup are begging them to get on with it, as are a majority of the audience.]]
* There's something hilarious that after everything The Adventure Zone has given us in its first "season", all the various emotions it's made us feel and the long beautiful journey it's taken us on, the Balance Arc winds up concluding on ''[[HehHehYouSaidX Episode 69]]''.
-->'''Griffin''': That's the sex number!
* One of the recurring characters summoned with the team's Bonds during the final battle is Garfield the Deals Warlock, who gives quite possibly the best PreAssKickingOneLiner in the entire series.
-->'''Garfield the Deals Warlock:''' ...you want to know the best part of working at Fantasy Costco? [[spoiler:'''''FREE SAMPLES!''''' (''chucks a magic grenade at John that causes massive damage'')]]
* In the Epilogue, we have Merle's "conditions" for accepting the position of Governor of the soon to be rebuilt village of Bottlenose Cove: while Lord Sterling reluctantly accepts to change Merle's title from "Governor" to "Earl" (thus making him "Earl Merle"), he absolutely refuses to change the name of the village to "Merlegaritaville". As compromise, Lord Sterling agrees to personally build him a themed bar and call it whatever he wants. Later on, we find out this was NotHyperbole, as we see the bumbling nobleman making a valiant effort to actually build something.
* Magnus' coverup for sneaking off to talk to Carey before the wedding ceremony:
--> '''Magnus''': If you'll all excuse me, I have... to shit.
* After the story is fully wrapped up, there's a moment of poignant silence, and then the boys [[MoodWhiplash start cracking jokes]] about the fact that they've been playing [=DnD=] for three years while "No Dogs on the Moon!" plays.
** "Thus ends The Adventure Zone: Balance, the story of [[SelfDeprecation four idiots that played DnD so hard that they made themselves cry]]."
** Justin jokes that someone needs to come clean up the massive amounts of urine that have accumulated from a nonstop, three-year [=DnD=] session.
--->'''Travis:''' Wait, is it weird that I haven't peed this whole time?
--->'''Griffin:''' In three years?! Travis, go to the emergency room ''now.''
--->'''Travis:''' I mean, I think I've just started sweating it out. I also haven't consumed any liquids, though, so like...
--->'''Griffin:''' Oh, you're good then. Oh wait, no, you're not good, Travis, go to the emergency room right now.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Live Boston Stunt Spectacular]]
* Justin playing Taako playing Tuff Greg.
-->'''Taako:''' Well as I always say to [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday the wife before I hop into bed]], make room for Greg!
* Merle calls Magnus a dork for getting super into his character, who he has given the Elvish name "I'Morko." Travis responds "Elvish is not dorky, [[FreudianSlip dad!]]" ''in his character voice'' and Griffin ''immediately'' cuts in to say that that was definitely in-character.
* Early on in the special Merrick tries to offer Angus a Jeff Angel button, which the boy detective rejects on the basis that he's "no chump mark" sending the audience into hysterics. [[spoiler: Later on as Garrigos attempts to re-enter the world, the chaos causes Angus to be revealed in the crowd [[HypocriticalHumor wearing a Jeff Angel shirt.]]]]
* The RandomNumberGod strikes again when Taako casts a CharmPerson on Gerald the Catwalk Boy:
-->'''Griffin''': I have to make a Wisdom saving throw.\\
'''Justin:''' ::sarcastically:: Right. I'm up against the formidable Wisdom of ''Catwalk Boy.''\\
'''Griffin:''' ::rolls die, pauses:: Aaaand, that's a Natural 20.\\
::audience goes insane::
* When Jeff Angel makes his entrance, Griffin makes a big deal of having everyone listen to "Jeff Angel's Theme", which he describes as "the only piece of original music that I have prepared for the evening". It turns out to just be Creator/JohnCena's theme played in a fake trumpet soundfont.
** Jeff Angel himself is a massive parody of Cena, which itself is a recipe for hilarity. When he first shows up he cuts a promo that amounts to "My opponents are bad because I think they don't call their dads but I call mine EVERY DAY!" and the most notable thing he does during the fight is perform Cena's "You Can't See Me!" taunt [[spoiler: which ''actually turns him invisible.'']]
* When Clint goes to roll a d20, a woman from the crowd yells, "Do you know which one that is?" Griffin acknowledges it as a sick burn.
* Clint's continued mentions of things being 'sold in the lobby after the show', despite nothing being sold after the show at all. The boys grow increasingly exasperated.
* Early on, Clint pretends that he's going to cast [[SignatureMove Zone]] [[TruthSerum Of Truth]], then stops, saying he'll cast it at an even more inappropriate moment. Near the end, when most of the party is below half health and an attack has knocked Taako's HPToOne, [[BrickJoke he casts it]], and the crowd promptly loses their minds. The best part? ''It ends up saving the day!''
-->'''Clint''': I SAVE THE DAY!!!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:[=MaxFunCon=] East Live]]
* The Totem of Constructive Criticism. Travis and Justin are both horrified when they realize that they can't choose who they have to give constructive criticism to. Magnus politely requests that Taako be more careful with spells that could hurt Magnus because "our cleric sucks", Merle tells Magnus that he'd worry a lot less if Magnus didn't rush in "like a giant horse's ass", but Taako's takes the cake:
-->'''Travis''': I just want to remind you that this is our daddy.
-->'''Griffin''': Justin? It's our daddy though.
-->'''Justin/Taako''': Your spells... CAN... be used... to heal wounds. So maybe... ''give 'er a shot!''
* ''Everything'' about the boys [[FreakyFridayFlip swapping bodies]] is pretty great, but particularly of note is Travis saying that Magnus in Taako's body ''instinctively reaches for a gemstone instead of catching his friend,'' in spite of Magnus's own desires/better judgement.
* Finally, after 50+ episodes of adventuring and story, the boys have ''finally'' gone into a [[TitleDrop Dungeon and encountered a Dragon...]] [[BaitAndSwitch the dungeon being a shitty kiddie play place and the dragon being a dude in a suit throwing puff balls.]] [[spoiler: Art dropping them into the ''real'' dungeon and forcing them to fight a ''real'' skeletal dragon turns it into a [[Awesome/TheAdventureZone Crowning Moment of Awesome.]]]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Live in Austin!]]
* When they all [[HighSchoolAU wake up as teenagers in a high school dormitory]], Magnus doesn't immediately find anything weird.
* They meet Angus, who is a teenager like them. Here, he's as muscular as Magnus, nearly as tall, and has calm, low voice.
--> '''Angus''': I drink protein shakes every day, it's why I am the way I am, and I hate the way they taste.
* The TotallyRadical teen, Brody, who's never anywhere without his skateboard. [[spoiler: He turns out to be the avatar of the mind flayer who captured them and put them in this dreamscape.]]
* They find Marvey and the Hammerheads smoking in the bathroom. When Marvey tries to say something to them, Magnus immediately punches him in the face for ''15 damage'', knocking him out cold.
* Magnus' oral report for Music Appreciation class is about "One Week" by BarenakedLadies.
** Travis and Justin singing "One Week" from memory ''in unison'' is a [[http://occidentalavian.tumblr.com/post/165133403063/travis-and-justin-fucking-killing-it sound to behold]].
* Merle once again sweet-talks a plant in his Botany class. This causes Travis and Justin to leave the room. ''At a live show.''
* [[spoiler: When Taako [[ItMakesSenseInContext dunks a basketball into the hoop at the center of Brody's final form]], they're released from the DreamLand they were trapped in. They all wake up in a chamber in The Underdark, where their captor, a mind flayer, proclaims "If you get dunked on in the dream, you get dunked on in real life!", and dies on the spot.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Other]]
* The intro to the, sadly difficult to find, [[https://youtu.be/_cyc3gVYBI0 LA Podfest live show]] is jam packed with hilarity.
** Magnus' reasons for rushing in to danger are listed as "[[ChronicHeroSyndrome To help someone in need]]", "[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Thinks there might be something cool over there]]", "Sees a Bird", "Needs footage for stunt reel", and "It's Tuesday".
** The Announcer makes his opinion that time Merle basically had sex with a bunch of vines [[BrainBleach very clear.]]
--->'''Announcer:''' His spiritual power allows him to talk to plants, which one time he used to have sexual intercourse with some vines. I was there, and it was ''very'' upsetting.
*** For bonus funny, the facts that show up when the Announcer mentions he was there includes the line "It has cast a dark shadow on the rest of my days on this Earth."
** When Taako's turn comes around an ''enormous'' lampshade is hung on the fact that his original stated goal, inventing tacos, has been so OutOfFocus it might as well be an AbortedArc.
--->'''Announcer:''' [[HilariousInHindsight We haven't really circled back on that subplot for... a really long time.]]
[[/folder]]
