History Funny / Taskmaster

** First, Frank makes it 10 minutes before deciding finding a 55 year-old would be too hard and instead decides to high five several people whose ages add up to 55. This leads him to high fiving two 27 year-olds and threatening to withold ice cream from a baby until it high fives him.

** Tim awkwardly walks around the mall for several minutes, and then in a stroke of luck the first person he talks to is 55. However, Tim told the man they were filming for UsefulNotes/ComicRelief, a very well-respected charity in the UK. The other contestants promptly lambast Tim for using charity as a strategy.

* The 'buy a gift for the Taskmaster' task was particularly good, including such highlights as Tim getting Greg some book tokens, and Josh getting Greg's name tattooed onto his foot (which won him the task).

** Not to mention Romesh's attempt, in which he gave the boulder to a man with a van, and then accidentally told him to drive in the wrong direction, meaning the boulder never really got that far from the house at all.

** Richard was the only one not to use any of the banned words while ordering. However, the person taking his order was undoubtedly confused and messed up his order, so he ended up with the least accurate pizza order (there were ''two'' pizzas for a start).

'''Greg:''' ''[later, in the studio]'' Interesting, innit? Because you could argue that Jon has a much better voice than Doc,... and yet, it was far more embarrassing.

** Alex accidentally [[ThanksForTheMammaries feeling Mel's breasts]] while searching the wardrobe she was hiding in. What's even funnier is that you can see the exact moment on Alex's face when he realises what he's just done.

** Nish's "most incredible" footage was of him quickly and ''incorrectly'' filling out a Sudoku puzzle. Greg is so underwhelmed, he finds it necessary to go into "teacher mode" and pull Nish aside and talk to him as if he were an underperforming student.

** Nish gets to the doorstep of the house and chucks it, only for it to bounce back and roll back to him. Instead of picking it back up (the coconut having rolled within arm's reach) and having another go, he gave up!

* The final recorded task is to find as many gold rings in the lab and put them on a drumstick with your hands clasped together. Jo and Katy notice that one of the gold rings was on Alex's finger and they both use their mouths to take the ring.

* The entire task to transport eggs from a balcony to a frying pan without throwing them is a symphony of failure. However Mawaan stands out by trying to inflate an egg with helium, which predictably exploded. Greg is incredulous that a grown man would think that would work, and predicted this early lunacy would define Series 10.

** Johnny isn't really needed for the team task, so he gets his own task that puts him on top of an umpire's chair and has him make different, and gradually louder, noises for ten seconds every minute for 20 minutes. He makes several different noises, but the standout is him starting out by quoting Richard Nixon:
--->'''Johnny''': I am not a crook! I am not a crook! I am not a crook!
--->'''Katherine:''' Is that part of the task?
--->'''Mawaan:''' No, I think that’s just Johnny?

* The live task was to list off unique three, four and then five letter words with no more than a 2 second gap in between each word. Daisy's approach was to rattle off as many swear words possible, including one that was ''still'' censored in the post-watershed airing.

** Her attempt culminates with Daisy questioning the decision to pair her with Richard.
---> '''Daisy:''' (to Alex) Why couldn’t you have put me with Katherine Parkinson?
*** Made even funnier by the fact that all of the clips are filmed before the in-studio segments and given her performance up until now, it’s highly doubtful that Daisy would have been better off with Katherine.

** The pole is in the middle of a red green, which only liquid may touch; if anything else touches it, then the contestant is disqualified. The result? ''Everyone'' is disqualified. Greg is so unimpressed that he tells everyone to sit in silence and reflect on what they've done. When Alex gives an update on the scores, everybody's pictures on the scoreboard shuffles around on the screen wildly before returning to the original positions.

** Katherine attempts to fill a ''net'' with water and it takes her all of half a minute to realise that the water was flowing out through the mesh.

* Katherine again, this time in the 'put the wellies on the spider' task. She fails to realise that she can leave the room, spends some time looking for the 'spider' (briefly considering that she might be the spider, but then coming to the conclusion that she can't be, because she doesn't have eight legs), and finally inexplicably interprets the table on which the wellies are resting as the 'spider' (as it has eight legs).
** This leads to an in-studio debate as to what constitutes a ‘spider’.
--->'''Greg:''' What is a spider?
--->'''Daisy:''' A spider. Not table legs.
--->'''Katherine:''' Well, it isn’t a massive stuffed animal either.
--->'''Mawaan:''' (holding his chair upside down) Look: a cat! It’s a cat!
* All the contestants brutally mistreating Bernard the mannequin, especially Daisy and Johnny, both of whom smash his head open.
** Katherine decides to smell Bernard’s underwear.
--->'''Greg:''' (Genuinely bewildered) Did you smell his pants?
---> '''Katherine:''' ... I think I did, yeah.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWVNdDfOVMk Mike and Lee's gloriously coordinated mimes of nursery rhymes in the stage task]]. (Despite the video's title [[NeverTrustATitle saying otherwise]], that was more on Greg's part)
** Greg's incompetence in this task is either frustrating or hilarious; he takes a whole minute to guess 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', despite it being glaringly obvious to everyone else, and initially guessed 'Three Blind Mice' as 'Blind Anus'. During the other team's go, Greg's failure to guess gets so frustrating that Lee openly declares that, while he still wants to win, he feels genuinely bad for them.

** Lee also does some 'lateral thinking' - the toilet roll cannot leave the toilet roll holder, so he unfixes the holder from the wall and gives it to someone in their car. The show then cuts to an advert break; and when they return, it's revealed that while Lee was detaching the holder, he removed the roll from the holder to make it easier, instantly disqualifying himself. Jamali then reveals that during the break, Lee had told him that he couldn't help but feel that his attempt had been too perfect and that something was amiss.

* The prize task, which was to bring in something that would make the owner look "hard":
** Mike brought in his own hair... which he'd ''shaved into a mohawk''. This act of madness naturally earned him five points, along with the incredulity of the entire panel.

** Sarah was dubbed "picnic girl" for her own crushingly sensible option, a backpack filled with survival supplies in case of the apocalypse. The best part was, despite being the only person who brought in anything that would look remotely sane at a picnic, she initially didn't realise that the nickname was being applied to ''her''. Her voice when she says "''I'm'' picnic girl?!" is filled with pure indignation. Also, when Greg first dubs Sarah "picnic girl", he is talking about her to Charlotte -- the only other woman present. Someone was in a wee bit of denial, it seems.

*** Alan's film includes a puppet version of Victoria, who unintentionally ends up drowning in the film because she came off the stick he was using to move her.

** Then Victoria's prize entry comes up, which is a Manchester United season ticket... for Alan, who is a committed fan of Arsenal. (And it seems she didn't even mean it as any kind of insult!)
--->'''Alan''': That is the most passive aggressive, calculated, personal attack I have ever experienced.
--->'''Greg''': Victoria, I knew you wouldn't let me down!

** The crowning example of this, however, is Victoria's attempt, where she never finds the red chair on the ground at all, and instead believes the chair to be somewhere in the tower. One of the items in said tower is a very small sweet.
--->'''Victoria''': There can't be a chair in a sweet, can there?
*** (Greg mocks the above quote repeatedly in the studio, and it naturally becomes the episode title.)
*** Also, Victoria never finds the chair, and instead sits on a pile of red circles.

** Alan, introducing his prize entry, a Wet Wet Wet album:
--->'''Alan''': I've brought in a vinyl LP from the 1980s. It's a time when I was a student, when Nelson Mandela was still in prison, when the Berlin Wall was still up...
--->'''Greg''': Keep it light.

** During Morgana's turn, Guz just gives up, and just starts writing messages to his friends.

* Victoria continues her tradition of underwhelming prize tasks by bringing in a bread bin. The instructions are to bring in something you use for a different purpose. Her different purpose is that she stores the bread on top of the bin, rather than in it. She comes last.
** At the end of the episode, when Alan wins the prizes, he puts the bread into the bread bin, just to annoy Victoria.

** Victoria [[ThisIsGonnaSuck instantly breaking down in dread]] at the prospect of involving an outside person in a task without being allowed to explain it to them. When given the instruction to laugh at everything the other person says, she remarks that it won't be a problem since she's already been emitting a constant stream of nervous laughter for the entire conversation. Funnily enough, despite all of her worry, she ends up coming in second in the task.
** Alan calls up a friend who he hasn't contacted in ''years'', only to start off with the instruction to yawn loudly for 10 seconds and then immediately hang up when this prompts her to say the prohibited key word. The entire conversation lasts 20 seconds.

-->'''Greg''': I know a lot of you out there in social media land think that sometimes, when it comes to judgments, I don't always get it right. Well, you're wrong. And you'd better make sure those comments come from a server in Central Europe. It's not hard for a man with my connections to get a name, do you understand? ''(getting progressively angrier)'' You might be Dumbledore online, but I'll find you! And I'll disguise myself as a giant crow in a tree outside your house. '''YOU EVER BEEN JUMPED ON BY A SIX-FOOT EIGHT CROW??''' Then maybe keep your opinions to yourself.

** Victoria and Alan's attempt features a sports events ticker on the bottom of the screen, which includes some humorous references from across the series:
--->

--->'''Guz''': You know, on the drive home, the wording for this task kept coming through my head... I felt like I needed some kind of assessment.

-->'''Morgana''': [["CuttingTheKnot How tall is Greg from Taskmaster?"]]

-->'''Rhod (Reading what's on the card):''' "I, Gregory Davis, being of sound mind, [[TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat hereby predict that during the coat hanger task Rhod Gilbert will make a joke about how fat I am]]".

** Ed saves the last question from the listeners for last, which is whether Katherine had actually done a fart, which she quickly and loudly denies.

--->'''Greg''': This is [[MrsRobinson the latest in a series]] of incidences with Sally where she's made it very clear that she wants more sex in her life. And I think it's a bit like fossil fuels and the ozone layer -- you know, the time for graphs has probably stopped, and we all -- we should all huddle together and [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean see what we're gonna do about it]].

* Just the sheer, bewildering madness that Desiree Burch's attempt at popping a red balloon from a distance turns into. She initially contemplates using the pair of scissors that can instantly end the task in exchange for a substantial time penalty early on, but decides against it because (so she later claims in the studio) it wouldn't be entertaining. What follows is her trying literally everything else -- that is, literally every other item available to use -- in an increasingly desperate and exasperated attempt at destroying the balloon, only to fail every single time. The area consequently lends up looking like a rather eccentric battlefield, and an overall total time that is, when incorporating penalties, almost three hours long. And ''then'', to add insult to injury, when she finally deigns to use the scissors it turns out that the string holding the sharp blade has somehow slackened, resulting a slight delay between her cutting the string and the balloon popping that oh-so-slightly increases her time even ''more''.

** At one point, Desiree chooses to buy a bucket of forks costing an hour rather than the eight-minute scissors.

** Victoria and Alan get through the task just fine, though Victoria does most of the heavy lifting, leaving Alan seeming a little redundant at times. At once point, Victoria is so immersed in solving the code with only her half of the jigsaw that it doesn’t occur to her that Alan is holding the other half.

-->'''Victoria''': I didn't know the ball could go ''upwards''.

** Desiree demonstrates that she speaks a bit of French. However, being able to speak with the French speaker made her not realize he ''wasn't'' the person she was supposed to be talking to.

* Series 12 featured a special one-off task set to [[ProductPlacement promote Google Translate]], which had a couple of corkers.

* In the same task, Victoria builds a barricade in front of the ball, then [[TemptingFate bets Alex £100 that he can't score a goal with it in the way]]. He kicks the ball over the barricade and scores on his first attempt.

* In the same task, Victoria builds a barricade in front of the ball, then [[TemptingFate bets Alex 100 pounds that he can't score a goal with it in the way]]. He kicks the ball over the barricade and scores on his first attempt.

'''Guz''': Who the fuck is Veronica?

-->'''Victoria:''' You can't sit on Father Christmas's face!
-->'''Morgana:''' (''flirtatiously'') Oh yes you can.

** In comparison, the team of three's attempt is all over the place -- to the extent that during their attempt, Alex can be seen constantly {{Corpsing}} and even falling off his chair at one point. Highlights include:

** Morgana's film features Alex playing a number of obviously fake ghosts (though she still gets four points).

--->(NOT IN A RACIST WAY, JUST IN A MURDEROUS WAY)

** Victoria and Alan get through the task just fine. At once point, Victoria is so immersed in solving the code with only her half of the jigsaw that it doesn’t occur to her that Alan is holding the other half.

*** In the studio, Alex reveals that [[FailedASpotCheck Guz took 41 minutes to find the riddle]], even though it was on the table in front of him. For purposes of contrast, this is just over ten minutes longer than it took the other team to ''complete the task entirely''.