History Funny / TVTrash

* "You know that episode of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' that says that 'WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' is written by a bunch of manatees? [[InsultToRocks The manatees should be INSULTED!]]"

-->'''Cecil:''' Oh, really? An evil cat character?\\

* His critique of WesternAnimation/SouthPark-styled commentary, mentioning that the current episodes of WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons and WesternAnimation/WreckItRalph are funnier than WesternAnimation/SouthPark. Also doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.

* His pointing out that the film is so cheap that the parents are crammed into a twin-size insted of queen-size bed.

* "And then there's Agents Black and White! '''''[[SarcasmMode HAAAAAA!!!!]]'''''

'''Hitler:''' It's the Goldenstiens!\\

-->'''Everyone:''' OH! YOU BLOCKHEAD!\\

* After the title character throws a temper tantrum: "I haven't seen that much childish whining since... well, since the 2011 World Series. And no, you can't see it. I burned all the photographic evidence."
* "Nope! No, it doesn't work that way. You can ''not'' make your main character an asshole who talks down to everyone, encourages pedophilia, and then try to make us sympathetic to him with a poop joke! Go back to middle school English class and '''''TRY AGAIN!'''''"
* After a sex tape between the title character and his elderly principal is mentioned, Rowdy [[TheUnsmile smiles]] quietly for several seconds, leaves his condo, then walks all the way to a train station and lets out a [[SkywardScream drawn-out scream.]] Cue the ad break, and then Rowdy writing a letter reading "Dear producers of ''Stripperella'': I am so very, ''very'' sorry..."

* Chris's reaction after watching an episode where the club owner's mother performs a lapdance for her husband?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm guessing "santaclaus.com" was taken by a porno site.

-->'''Chris:''' Predictable comic ending coming RIIIIGHT ABOUUUUUUUT......''(points at camera)''\\

'''Chris:''' [[Music/BritneySpears OOPS, HE DID IT AGAIN!]]

'''Chris:''' ''(disheveled and reading off of a piece of paper)'' "[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 It's just a show, I should just relax!]] [[MST3KMantra It's just a show! I should just relax!]]"

'''Chris:''' What did he say?\\

'''Chris:''' Oh my god! It's [[Film/TheRoom2003 Tommy Wiseau]]! I KNEW there was a bigger reason for me to hate this!

'''Chris:''' Well, you're already a bitch, so what's the big deal? HEY-O!

* Chris can't seem to decide which is worse: The "horrific" musical numbers in ''Series/CopRock'', or "[[Series/NYPDBlue Dennis Franz's bare ass]]!"

-->'''Chris:''' That...and they had Creator/SarahMichelleGellar.

* Chris' impression of The Oracle.

-->'''Chris:''' We're four minutes into this, and I [[TemptingFate can't see how this can POSSIBLY get worse]]!\\

'''Chris:''' ''[[LampshadeHanging WHY DO I TEMPT FATE??]]''

* After hearing the godawful theme song to the show, Chris puts a Nintendo Zapper to his head.

* At the beginning of the episode, Chris is in a huge funk. He decides to listlessly flip through TV. Within seconds of seeing TMZ, he is up, dressed, and cleans up his studio.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they torn down all of our trees and bushes, but.....[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny LOOK, HOT TOPIC!!!]]"

* The face Chris makes upon seeing Mort get beaten up in the Disney universe for being Jewish.

* Chris's sister is blasting her music too loud. Chris lays down some ground rules:

'''Chris:''' "I think it's one of those things that we were told causes cooties. GET YOUR BOOSTER SHOTS!"

* The beginning of his crossover with [[WebVideo/HewysAnimatedMovieReviews Hewy Toonmore]]. As Chris is ranting about the emails he got for his ''Series/{{Glee}}'' review, Hewy cuts in.

* After Toonmore breaks in, Chris decides to let him do a crossover, and let him pick the review.

'''Chris:''' "Cartoon critic named after the greatest band ever say what?"

* And Chris appearing at the end, asking if they messed with his equipment.

-->'''Chris:''' AHHHHHH!!!!! (Falls to floor) WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHHY?!?!?!?!\\

* When one of the main characters first appear, the appearance is so sudden and startling it leaves Chris yelling "What the--what--what--'''''what?!?!'''''".

-->'''Chris:''' You're too late.\\

'''Chris:''' The dog wants to take over the world! This show is equal opportunity!

* The review begins with Chris getting pizza delivered from the P.O.ed Pizza Guy.

--->'''Jeannie:''' I sent Malicia to a far-away, desolate place devoid of life or civilization!\\
'''Chris:''' [[{{Joisey}} So New Jersey?]] Yeah, Oklahoma's not far enough!

* His look of disgust at some of the nudity.

* It begins with an intervention that Chris is going too far deep with this one. It ends with [[spoiler:Chris getting bombarded by the trolls]].

* Chris's summary of the show: "THIS SHOW WAS TOTALLY BOGUS!!!"

* The beginning of the review, where Chris has been stupefied by watching the show and needs to drink "Liquid IQ" to do the review.

* After New Directions does a song relating to ''Film/TheWizardOfOz'', the camera jitters around, with Chris falling off his chair.

* Chris remarks that occasionally, surprises come out of stuff ordered second hand. Flash back to years earlier.

* Chris questions who would think combining Pinky And The Brain with Elmyra was a good idea.

-->'''Chris:''' You know if you open this, it's going to reveal something SO godawful it'll drive you into near insanity. So ''why'' are you gonna open it? Because I'm an internet critic, it's my duty! ''(walks back into house)'' ''[[FreakOut NNNNYAAAAAAAaaaaauuuuggghhh!!!]]''

-->'''Chris:''' And you know, THAT might've worked with the right concept! They could've had Pinky and the Brain vs. WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}} Pinky and the Brain join the Franchise/DCUniverse and battle ComicBook/{{Superman}} and ComicBook/{{Batman}}! '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis ANYTHING! BUT! THIS!!!!!]]'''''
-->'''Brain:''' Pinky and I are being held hostage by some HORRIBLE little girl whose name escapes me right now.\\

'''Chris:''' ''(crosses fingers)'' ''DEMON!!!!'' '''''DEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!'''''

* Chris declares he will not be stopped in his attempt to find the sender of the "WesternAnimation/PinkyElmyraAndTheBrain" DVD. Cue him realizing that it is August, his traditional theme month.

* After a sex tape between the title character and his elderly principal is mentioned, Chris [[TheUnsmile smiles]] quietly for several seconds, then walks all the way to a train station and lets out a [[SkywardScream drawn-out scream.]] Cue the ad break, and then Chris writing a letter reading "Dear producers of ''Stripperella'': I am so very, ''very'' sorry..."

-->'''Chris:''' I don't know if I could hear anything that could make my day even worse after this.\\

'''Chris:''' '''''GHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!''''' (brandishes a baseball bat)

* "If (going to Washington" means you'll be gone from the show, who do I have to bribe to get you on the committee?" Complete with Chris ripping out his chequebook.

* When the episode "Guilty Pleasures" makes a ''Series/SmallWonder'' reference, Chris wonders which is sadder: ''Glee'' pandering to nerds with a reference to an obscure '80s sitcom, or that ''he'' knows they got the reference ''wrong'' by putting VIKI's control box in her chest when it's supposed to be in her back.

* After discussing the end of the second episode, the show cuts to Chris calling an insane asylum to get John K committed.

* The Cold Open for the review has Chris simply looking traumatized, before pulling up the DVD box and pointing at it.
-->'''Chris:''' "[[CurseCutShort WHAT THE FUUUUU]]-"''(cue theme music)''

-->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Krusty the Clown]]:''' ...what the hell was THAT?\\
'''Chris:''' A gateway to hell, Krusty!

* A majority of the review in general, thanks to Chris's reactions to the sheer insanity unfolding on-screen.

* The series of "D'OH!"s Chris makes regarding Creator/G4TV's failures are utterly perfect.

* During the argument between Cathy and her mother: "It's like switching between MSNBC and Creator/{{Fox News|Channel}}. Eventually you find out they're both full of crap."

* The series of "D'OH!"s Chris makes regarding Creator/{{G4}}'s failures are utterly perfect.

* "About the only thing dumber is to expect to make all that money back via internet ad revenue! [[HypocriticalHumor Speaking of which, we'll be right back.]]"

* A majority of the review in general, thanks to Chris's reactions to [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs the sheer insanity unfolding on-screen]].

* After hearing T-Bird say [[Film/BackToTheFuture "Where we're going, we don't NEED tires!"]]

* "''AND WHY IS THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT ON THE SHIP A [[MultiBoobage THREE-BREASTED]] WOMAN VOICED BY'' '''''[[WhatTheHellCastingAgency RUPAUL]]?!?!?!!'''''"

'''Chris:''' Oh my god! It's [[Film/TheRoom Tommy Wiseau]]! I KNEW there was a bigger reason for me to hate this!

** "When the WesternAnimation/MuppetBabies sing better than you, you should STOP TRYING!!!!!"

* "Note to self: watch the ''WesternAnimation/{{Madagascar}}'' movies again, to be reminded of how penguins can actually be funny."

-->"And ''I'' may be partially to blame for it. [[WhatAnIdiot I really suck at this!]]"

* His reaction to Franchise/WinnieThePooh [[UncannyValley in live action]].

--> [[BrainBleach This is why I do reviews on an empty stomach...]]

* At the end, he wonders what could be worse than this. [[spoiler: (singing) "We're the turtles! You can count on us!"]]

-->'''Jake''': (reading aloud) To santaclaus@santaclausisreal.com
-->'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm guessing "santaclaus.com" was taken by a porno site.

-->'''Chris''': Predictable comic ending coming RIIIIGHT ABOUUUUUUUT......''(points at camera)''
-->'''Grandma''': NOT AGAIN..... ''(Santa and his reindeer run over Grandma. Again.)''
-->'''Chris''': [[Music/BritneySpears OOPS, HE DID IT AGAIN!]]

--> '''Caption''': Fifteen minutes later..
--> '''Chris''': ''(disheveled and reading off of a piece of paper)'' "[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 It's just a show, I should just relax!]] [[MST3KMantra It's just a show! I should just relax!]]"

--> '''Joel''': You are tearing me apart!
--> '''Chris''': What did he say?
--> '''Joel''': You are tearing me apart!
--> '''Chris''': Oh my god! It's [[Film/TheRoom Tommy Wiseau]]! I KNEW there was a bigger reason for me to hate this!

--> I used to have a thing for [[ActionGirl strong-willed women]]. [[BrainBleach THANKS FOR RUINING THE FANTASY]]!

--> "Don't worry! You still have your future life partner- NO! NO! I'm NOT stooping to any Patty/Marcie lesbian jokes!"

---> '''Lucy''': There's dog germs in my root beer!
---> '''Chris''': Well, you're already a bitch, so what's the big deal? HEY-O!

* He is so depressed at the end (it was his 1st anniversary), that he needs something to pick him up. [[spoiler: Cue ALF.]]

--> "Ladies and gentlemen, the birth of modern-day gangsta rap!"

--> '''Chris''': That...and they had Creator/SarahMichelleGellar.

--> "[[Series/FamilyMatters Urkel]] times 3. That might be enough to make [[TakeThatMe MY voice]] tolerable by comparison!"

--> "COME ON, I JUST REVIEWED ''COP ROCK'', HAVE YOU NO MERCY?!?!"

--> "And ''I'' may be partially to blame for it. [[WhatAnIdiot I really suck at this!]]"

--> '''Chris''': We're four minutes into this, and I [[TemptingFate can't see how this can POSSIBLY get worse]]!
--> '''Eva''': What is it, honey?
--> '''Hitler''': It's the Goldenstiens!
--> '''Chris''': ''[[LampshadeHanging WHY DO I TEMPT FATE??]]''

--> "Oh, yeah! [[HesBack It's ON!]]"

--> "I take back EVERYTHING I SAID about ''Sonic Underground'' and ''Cop Rock''!"
** "[[SarcasmMode Oh yeah, these guys are]] ''[[SarcasmMode really]]'' [[SarcasmMode gonna give]] [[Music/WeirdAlYankovic Weird Al]] [[SarcasmMode a run for his money!]]"

-->'''Cindy:''' Jellystone Mall! Just THINK of all the opportunities!
-->'''Chris:''' Yeah, they torn down all of our trees and bushes, but.....[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny LOOK, HOT TOPIC!!!]]"

--> "Spoiler alert: He makes [[Film/PaulBlartMallCop Paul Blart]] look competent! Not a good comparison."

--> "I'm just going to skip to the clip and stop ogling her now...I'm still ogling her, aren't I?"

--> "You pick up after yourself, you keep the music down, and no, you ''can't'' use Jeannie to go to Vegas or change your credit rating!"

--> '''Caption''': Fifteen minutes of uncontrollable laughter later...

---> "There is now NOTHING sacred anymore!"

--> '''Linus''': "Who is that, Charlie Brown?"
--> '''Charlie Brown''': "I don't know. I've never seen her before."
--> '''Chris''': "I think it's one of those things that we were told causes cooties. GET YOUR BOOSTER SHOTS!"

--> '''Hewy''': Don't you know that every reviewer has a remote to cut into others video feeds?

---> '''Hewy''': "WesternAnimation/MightyDucksTheAnimatedSeries."
---> '''Chris''': "Cartoon critic named after the greatest band ever say what?"

* His fit over the climax of ''Charlie Brown's All Stars'', where Charlie Brown [[spoiler: fails to slide into home plate]].
-->'''Chris''': AHHHHHH!!!!! (Falls to floor) WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHHY?!?!?!?!
--> '''Perkins''': Woah. Didn't think he'd take it so hard.
--> '''Cecil''': Compared to the tantrum he threw after the World Series, this is nothing!!

---> '''Chris''': You're too late.
---> '''Hewy Toonmore''': ''(beat)'' You poor, unfortunate bastard.

--> "What am I going to do with all my Benji Stu jokes?"

* After [[spoiler: Marcie wins the Junior Olympics due to Snoopy and TheRival getting tangled up]]
---> "Yeah, I guess WE would have loved to see that, too. [[CoughSnarkCough cough*Show, Don't Tell*Cough]].

* After making a mention of [[CatsAreMean Catbert]]:
--> '''Cecil''': Oh, really? An evil cat character?
--> '''Chris''': The dog wants to take over the world! This show is equal opportunity!

-->'''Jenny''':…sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away.
-->'''Marvin''': Spider? Gruesome. Is she sure this nursery rhyme is G-rated?
-->'''Rowdy''': That's nothing, kid. Wait 'til she reads ''Literature/TheLittleMermaid'' and realizes it's a ''little'' different from [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 the Disney version]].

--> "Nice guy, but sure he can do something about that potty mouth."

--> "I'm the Rowdy Reviewer, and I remember it [[SelfDeprecation because I have no life]]."

---> '''Jeannie''': I sent Malicia to a far-away, desolate place devoid of life or civilization!
---> '''Chris''': [[{{Joisey}} So New Jersey?]] Yeah, Oklahoma's not far enough!

* It begins with an intervention that Chris is going too far deep with this one. It ends with [[spoiler: Chris getting bombarded by the trolls]].

-->'''Sally''': What's-his-name is right. You can't go home.
-->'''Rowdy''': I think Jon Music/BonJovi and [[Music/{{Sugarland}} Jennifer Nettles]] might have [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_Says_You_Can%27t_Go_Home something to say]] about that.

--> "GET ME PETA."

--> "Good night! You caused a freaking earthquake from how many times Judy Garland turned over in her grave!"

--> "OK! That's it! This show is now officially TROLLING the geek community! (gets lightsaber and NES gun out) The war... is ON!"

-->'''Principal Skinner''': They gave me a choice: Jail, the army, or [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking apologizing to the judge and the old lady]]. [[TemptingFate Of course,]] [[HarsherInHindsight if I'd known there was a war going on, I probably would've apologized.]]
-->'''Rowdy''': [[LetMeGetThisStraight So, in other words...]]
-->'''Bruce Springteen''': (played over footage of the flashback) Got in a little hometown jam...\\

--> "Welcome to TV Trash! Reality TV sucks! See you next time!" (roll credits)
** [[spoiler: This was an April Fools' joke]]

[[AC: Turnabout Intruder]]

[[AC: Adventures in Wonderland]]

--> "What a ripoff! I paid $200 for this replica [[Series/IDreamOfJeannie Jeannie bottle]], and they did not even take the time to PAINT the damn thing! You know, I'm going to pull the cork on this thing right now, and if a real genie doesn't pop out, those guys are going to be hearing from my lawyer!"

[[AC: Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain]]

--> ''(As a Warner Bros. executive with a sideways hat and a deliberately misspelled "Warner Executive" tag)'' "Durrr, I think it brilliant!!!"

-->'''Brain:''' Pinky and I are being held hostage by some HORRIBLE little girl whose name escapes me right now.
-->'''Elmyra:''' ''(pounding him on the head with her fist)'' '''E-L-M-Y-R-A!''' I'm Elmyra, silly cranky big-head mousy!
-->'''Chris:''' ''(crosses fingers)'' ''DEMON!!!!'' '''''DEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!'''''

[[AC: Dinosaurs]]

* His discomfort about Baby Sinclair being puppeteered by KevinClash. [[note]] For those unaware, Clash was most famous as Elmo from ''Series/SesameStreet''... and resigned over a sex scandal that went nowhere.[[/note]]

-->(''on seeing the footage of the'' Galactica 1980 ''episode "Spaceball"'') "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BURN THAT FOOTAGE!"
-->(''on the similarities between'' Dinosaucers ''and'' Galactica 1980) "My doctor says that I could get BRAIN DAMAGE from taking out my frustrations! (''takes out baseball bat'')

[[AC: The Jersey]]

--> "But they better not have been in Nelson Cruz during the 2011 World Series!"[[note]](In Game 6 of said series, The Rangers were an out away from winning their first World Series when David Freese hit a ball to Nelson Cruz, who missed the ball and allowed a game-tying triple.)[[/note]]

-->'''Chris:''' I don't know if I could hear anything that could make my day even worse after this.
-->'''Perkins''' Did you hear ''WesternAnimation/PinkyElmyraAndTheBrain'' is getting a DVD release?
-->'''Chris:''' '''''GHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!''''' (brandishes a baseball bat)

[[AC: Film/{{JFK}}]]
* His RapidFire explanation of what's wrong with the conspiracy which also doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.

[[AC: South Park: "Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants"]]

[[AC: [[Film/HomeAloneTheHolidayHeist Home Alone (5): The Holiday Heist]]]]

-->'''Rowdy''': You know, we're about halfway through this movie, so just so I know, are we gonna have much more stupid coming forth in this thing?
-->'''Caption''': LOTS MORE STUPID!!!!
-->'''Rowdy''': OK, I'm gonna go make some eggnog laced with [[CallBack Liquid IQ]] to get through this thing. We'll be right back.

[[AC: Series/{{Supertrain}}: Express to Terror]]

--> "Supertrain! Soon we'll be melting into goo!"

--> "You are the second-dumbest old fart I've heard open his pie-hole this week. [[UnintentionalPeriodPiece You should thank Red McCombs for not being first!!]]"

[[AC: Glee Season 4]]

* "(Brittney's fondue show) [[TakeThat might be more entertaining than]] [[WebVideo/TheIrateGamer The Irate Gamer's!"]]

* When the episode "Guilty Pleasures" makes a ''LiveActionTV/SmallWonder'' reference, Chris wonders which is sadder: ''Glee'' pandering to nerds with a reference to an obscure '80s sitcom, or that ''he'' knows they got the reference ''wrong'' by putting VIKI's control box in her chest when it's supposed to be in her back.

* [[spoiler: Professor Stupidiot]] is just one long love letter to [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb Doctor Doofenschmirtz]].

[[AC: Brickleberry]]

[[AC: E! Network]]

[[AC: Hulk Hogan's Rock-N-Wrestling]]

[[AC: Alvin and the Chipmunks: "Dreamlighting"]]

[[AC: Small Wonder]]

[[AC: [=ProStars=]]]

-->'''Rowdy''': When the best that I can say is that it's still better than ''Club Mario'', that ain't good.

[[AC: The Adventures of Electra Elf]]

-->'''Chris''': "[[CurseCutShort WHAT THE FUUUUU]]-"''(cue theme music)''

--> '''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Krusty the Clown]]''': ...what the hell was THAT?
--> '''Chris''': A gateway to hell, Krusty!

[[AC: Susie Q]]

[[AC: Johnny Test]]

[[AC: Spaceballs: The Animated Series]]

** When we first meet [[MarySue Melody Melody]]

--> "What am I going to do with all my [[MarySue Benji Stu]] jokes?"

* His reaction to the AssPull reveal of the culprit at the end of the first season.

** Also, his reaction when the show used the same ass pull type of twist for a ''third'' time.

* His reaction to the AssPull of the reveal of the culprit at the end of the first season.

** Also, his reaction when the show used the same shocking swerve type of twist for a ''third'' time.

* His reaction to the ShockingSwerve of the reveal of the culprit at the end of the first season.

-->"Yeah, all those clues you were collecting for the whole season to try and find out who done it? They meant absolutely ''BUPKIS'' because we left out the only clue that mattered until the very last act...SCREW YOU, OUR LOYAL FANBASE!!!"

* His reaction to the shocking swerve of the reveal of the killer in season 1.

* Due to the similarities between the characters to what he calls "Creator/DrSeuss rejects", along with the [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar sexual innuendo]] he declares that if Audrey Geisel saw this, that she would give Film/TheCatInTheHat movie a pass.

* Stating that Edd's nickname, Double D, is [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar one of the most blatant innuendos to get past the censors since]] [[WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife "Chokey Chicken"]].

* On the topic of [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotForKids the adult humor]] [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar spread throughout]]--"SUBTLETY? WHAT'S THAT?"

* "Even I take a break on the [[NoIndoorVoice high volume]] [[LullDestruction more often than this show!]] But don't expect too much of that in this review, because I don't think my rage will allow it."

---> '''Hewy''': "WesternAnimation/TheMightyDucks."

-->'''Rowdy''': That's nothing, kid. Wait 'til she reads ''Literature/TheLittleMermaid'' and realizes it's a ''little'' different from [[Disney/TheLittleMermaid the Disney version]].

* His critique of WesternAnimation/SouthPark-styled commentary, mentioning that the current episodes of WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons and Disney/WreckItRalph are funnier than WesternAnimation/SouthPark. Also doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.