His reaction to the shocking swerve of the reveal of the killer in season 1.
"Yeah, all those clues you were collecting for the whole season to try and find out who done it? They meant absolutely BUPKIS because we left out the only clue that mattered until the very last act...SCREW YOU, OUR LOYAL FANBASE!!!"
Also, his reaction when the show used the same shocking swerve type of twist for a third time.
My Mother the Car
"Boy, the only person I can think of who has bigger mommy issues is Norman Bates."
Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation
His rant to the Saban executives that this show was why the Ninja Turtles fans hate the Power Rangers fans, which ends with him calmly stating that he is "not thrilled".
At the end, he wonders what could be worse than this. (singing) "We're the turtles! You can count on us!"
In his Turtles Retrospective, he notes when a guy is staring at a mirror with a warning of great evil being released onto our world, he quips "So that's where the Kardashians came from!"
Sex and the City
Rowdy saying that Carrie spends her money more on clothing than he does on baseball tickets.
Men Behaving Badly
After a character uses underwear as a coffee filter: (Face Palm) "That was in the promos, people!"
"FYI: When Jon Arbuckle isn't as pathetic around women as you are, you're doing something wrong!"
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
When he first mentions Grandma Spankenheimer's name, he adds "And NO, I'm NOT commenting on that name whatsoever".
At the end, when he wishes that Lucy Van Pelt had some comeuppance, he turns to the infamous scene from Family Guy where Peter roundhouse kicks Lucy. He then realizes that he's laughing at child abuse.
The face Chris makes upon seeing Mort get beaten up in the Disney universe for being Jewish.
Followed up by his reaction; he walks into his restroom, a callback to his review of Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation. This time, though, he is reduced to pure Angrish... before storming out of the restroom and going on a brutal rant.
"A universe without God where Meg is hot? Gee... could this be referencing another episode?"
Family Guy: "Family Gay"
"Well, at least they're equal opportunity offenders: stereotyping straight people as well as gays!"
The last two minutes of his review. After taking a look at the worst Family Guy episodes, he declares "What's left to talk about?" He then launches into a brutal rant against Seth, with the speech being a parody of the one Quagmire gave to Brian in "Jerome is the New Black". Doubles as an Awesome Moment.
After noticing all of the Fanservice in the show......
"I'm just going to skip to the clip and stop ogling her now...I'm still ogling her, aren't I?"
Kath and Kim
Chris's sister is blasting her music too loud. Chris lays down some ground rules:
"You pick up after yourself, you keep the music down, and no, you can't use Jeannie to go to Vegas or change your credit rating!"
After learning that the princess selected the This Loser Is You type heroes as the best examples of humanity (wise, handsome and noble), all he can do is laugh and fall to the floor.
Caption: Fifteen minutes of uncontrollable laughter later...
Charlie Brown: "I don't know. I've never seen her before."
Chris: "I think it's one of those things that we were told causes cooties. GET YOUR BOOSTER SHOTS!"
The beginning: Perkins and Cecil decide to "Occupy Hollywood" for their mistreatment of cats, and even go as far as to put black labels on the DVD boxes.
Gary the Rat
"Gary's a jerk, he's better than everyone else, he cheats to get his way, and he always comes out on top with no remorse or retribution. He's the freaking Barry Bonds of cartoons!"
"Now, after having to endure this piece of crap, my producer and I are going to go have a philosophical discussion." (brandishes a baseball bat)
After his review of the second season, he lays with a shirt that says "Yankee Voice" (A reference to the episode where New Direction wore shirts about stuff they didn't like about themselves), and then dreams where he sings an off-key version of Bon Jovi's "It's My Life".
The Mighty Ducks
The beginning of his crossover with Hewy Toonmore. As Chris is ranting about the emails he got for his Glee review, Hewy cuts in.
Hewy: Don't you know that every reviewer has a remote to cut into others video feeds?
After Toonmore breaks in, Chris decides to let him do a crossover, and let him pick the review.
When one of the main characters first appear, the appearance is so sudden and startling it leaves Chris yelling "What the—what—what—what?!?!".
Due to the similarities between the characters to what he calls "Dr. Seuss rejects", along with the sexual innuendo he declares that if Audrey Geisel saw this, that she would give The Cat in the Hat movie a pass.
Chris: The dog wants to take over the world! This show is equal opportunity!
When a plot point revolves around an all-you-can-eat buffet, and Dilbert's father refuses to leave until he's had all he can eat: "Oh sure, it works for him, but I try it, and I get banned from every Ryan's in the state! Maybe the sleeping bag was a bit much."
At the end, he declares that centerfolds are more feminist then the aforementioned strip, because women take advantage of men's desires and make money off of it. He then takes his stack of magazines into the bathroom to "contribute to the feminist movement".
During the argument between Cathy and her mother: "It's like switching between MSNBC and Fox News. Eventually you find out they're both full of crap."
"This story is about a whiny, petulant woman who obsesses about one man, and now says she's sick and tired of nice guys? Stephenie Meyer was a Cathy fan, wasn't she?!"
His review begins with him waking up two days late (this episode was released on Wednesday instead of its traditional Monday release), where it is revealed that his hatred of the accidental anti-feminism in Cathy caused him to find some real admirable women and had Jeannie send him to London, causing him to have photos of him and Hope Solo on the internet somewhere, and having his passport possibly revoked.
After a joke about the Ku Klux Klan in the final episode, three words. Three simple words. "CUT THE FEED!" One scene later, he is seen messed up, with a baseball hat in his hands, and state that he is lucky to have a Genie to repair the result of his frustrations afterward. One of the darkest, and yet the funniest, scenes in the show.
"Ah yes, the baby photo albums. How quaint and nostalgic. Some of you might be too young to remember this, but back in the dark prehistoric times, all pictures had to be printed on glossy, easily-damaged paper, and easily stored in these huge, cumbersome books. One of the greatest fears of man back then was when parents would pull out the giant tomes and insist their friends look at the countless monotonous images of their kids as ugly little brats, or the many boring sites they visited on vacation. And that's not even getting into the horror that was… slideshows."
"Wow, willing to step away from a child before he's a year old. Jenny's got a lot more restraint than most comic strip moms."
Jenny:…sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away.
Marvin: Spider? Gruesome. Is she sure this nursery rhyme is G-rated?
The beginning of the review, where Chris has been stupefied by watching the show and needs to drink "Liquid IQ" to do the review.
Then, he suggests the viewers that the show is so mind-numbingly awful that they should pause the review, go get "take out from Long John Silver's" and come back once they've got enough brain food to endure the show being reviewed.
His reaction to a scene where one of the main characters gets attacked by a guard parrot and throws it at a wall:
He points out that it's been his trend to "celebrate" the anniversary of his first review, Stripperella, by reviewing either another Pamela Anderson show (Stacked) or another show from Spike TV's cartoon block (Gary the Rat). He then claims that he has to "bite the bullet" and review Ren & Stimpy "Adult Party Cartoon". Cue him being told from off-camera that they couldn't procure the episodes in time, followed by a shot of Rowdy rolling on the floor, laughing gleefully.
Glee Season 3
He tries to recap the entire 2nd season in a way similar to the opening of every episode, and fails.
After New Directions does a song relating to The Wizard of Oz, the camera jitters around, with Chris falling off his chair.
"Good night! You caused a freaking earthquake from how many times Judy Garland turned over in her grave!"
"OK! That's it! This show is now officially TROLLING the geek community! (gets lightsaber and NES gun out) The war... is ON!"
"(The writers) should either watch the previous episode, or lay off the funny brownies!"
The Simpsons: "The Principal and the Pauper"
When going into Skinner's past, he realizes the comparisons between Skinner's past and "Born in the USA".
"Now I have to wait for the deluge of comments comparing me to Comic Book Guy!"
"Mmmmmm.....processed horse innards!"
The entire review!
"Welcome to TV Trash! Reality TV sucks! See you next time!" (roll credits)
This was an April Fools' joke Turnabout Intruder
"If I make one more year's worth of Captain's Log entries, I can have a book."
"The stupid is spewing out of these characters like Mount Vesuvius!"
"I was imagining Billie Jean King coming in out of nowhere and backhanding her with a tennis racket!"
Adventures in Wonderland
Chris remarks that occasionally, surprises come out of stuff ordered second hand. Flash back to years earlier.
"What a ripoff! I paid $200 for this replica Jeannie bottle, and they did not even take the time to PAINT the damn thing! You know, I'm going to pull the cork on this thing right now, and if a real genie doesn't pop out, those guys are going to be hearing from my lawyer!"
"Unless [the white rabbit on rollerskates] is going to perform a duet with Olivia Newton-John, I ain't interested!"
He decides to take some time out to relax. Then, he realises that the show has songs. He just says "No" a few times, flatly.
Chris questions who would think combining Pinky And The Brain with Elmyra was a good idea.
(As a Warner Bros. executive with a sideways hat and a deliberately misspelled "Warner Executive" tag) "Durrr, I think it brilliant!!!"
He was about to rant about Brain choosing spending two weeks without Elmyra as opposed to actually going into space and controlling the world via a satellite—but then he realized that that made perfect sense.
The call-back to The Groovenians review at the beginning.
Chris: You know if you open this, it's going to reveal something SO godawful it'll drive you into near insanity. So why are you gonna open it? Because I'm an internet critic, it's my DUTY! (walks back into house) GHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAarrrrrrrggggggghhhhh!!!!!!
Saying that he gives Dink the Little Dinosaur a pass even though it contains one of his Pet Peeve Tropes — namely, averting Girls Have Cooties — since "it's set in the Stone Age, and I'm pretty sure cooties weren't discovered until sometime around the Dark Ages."
He sets the pencil-esque opening to Dino-Riders with "Take on Me" by A-ha.
The basic premise (aliens trying to learn about humanity) and baseball episode of Dinosaucers give off some strange vibes. He then makes the connection; the show is similar to Galactica 1980.
(on seeing the footage of the Galactica 1980 episode "Spaceball") "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BURN THAT FOOTAGE!"
(on the similarities between Dinosaucers and Galactica 1980) "My doctor says that I could get BRAIN DAMAGE from taking out my frustrations! (takes out baseball bat)
When he sees the heroes and villains of Dino Riders fighting with armed dinosaurs, his mouth hangs open and we get a caption that says AWESOMENESS METER OVERLOAD.
Upon finding out that the jersey wasn't destroyed, he assumes that the kids are still entering athletes' bodies today.
"But they better not have been in Nelson Cruz during the 2011 World Series!"note (In Game 6 of said series, The Rangers were an out away from winning their first World Series when David Freese hit a ball to Nelson Cruz, who missed the ball and allowed a game-tying triple.)
After the title character throws a temper tantrum: "I haven't seen that much childish whining since… well, since the 2011 World Series. And no, you can't see it. I burned all the photographic evidence."
"Nope! No, it doesn't work that way. You can not make your main character an asshole who talks down to everyone, encourages pedophilia, and then try to make us sympathetic to him with a poop joke! Go back to middle school English class and try again!"
After a sex tape between the title character and his elderly principal is mentioned, Rowdy smiles quietly for several seconds, then walks all the way to a train station and lets out a drawn-out scream. Cue the ad break, and then Rowdy writing a letter reading "Dear producers of Stripperella: I am so very, very sorry…"
After the boys are captured by the Taliban, Osama Bin Laden begins recording when the review swaps the footage with footage from Family Guy, which causes Rowdy to scold Perkins for doing that.
Home Alone (5): The Holiday Heist
After a character says "Will you look at that snow? Never got that in California", Rowdy frowns, then cues a picture of a snowy landscape captioned "Fresno, CA". "That's Hollywood for you, thinking that California doesn't go any farther north than Bakersfield."
His pointing out that the film is so cheap that the parents are crammed into a twin-size insted of queen-size bed.
Rowdy: You know, we're about halfway through this movie, so just so I know, are we gonna have much more stupid coming forth in this thing?
Caption: LOTS MORE STUPID!!!!
Rowdy: OK, I'm gonna go make some eggnog laced with Liquid IQ to get through this thing. We'll be right back.
Moore declares his impartial method of judging the music in the show... whenever a song comes on, he throws on his iPod and listens to 80s Rock. The second he learns that "Call Me Maybe" will be the first song, he plops on his headphones and sings "Living on a Prayer".
He rejects the typical opening narration from Glee to start the episode.
"(Finn's return) was so soon, it wasn't even available in the pool!"
"If (going to Washington" means you'll be gone from the show, who do I have to bribe to get you on the committee?" Complete with Chris ripping out his chequebook.
When the episode "Guilty Pleasures" makes a Small Wonder reference, Chris wonders which is sadder: Glee pandering to nerds with a reference to an obscure '80s sitcom, or that he knows they got the reference wrong by putting VIKI's control box in her chest when it's supposed to be in her back.
Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon
"Who am I kidding, a barf dumpster wouldn't be enough for this show..."
After discussing the end of the second episode, the show cuts to Chris calling an insane asylum to get John K committed.
Rowdy's faces of shock and disgust after hearing/seeing the tasteless jokes.
"Gee, television really DOES encourage violence! I now want to hunt down these writers and chop off their fingers so they can never TYPE AGAIN!"
10 Worst Commercials
"HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead…" (grabs baseball bat) "How about I apply THIS directly to your forehead instead?!"
At the beginning of the review, The Wrestling Mark is depressed over the events of Wrestlemania.
Close to the end, Mark barges in, blasting Rowdy for almost taking on E's coverage of wrestler's private lives.
As Rowdy lists the Kardashian spin-offs, he gets to Khloe and Lamar when he's wearing Mavericks clothes and snarls, "Why YES, these ARE the two I hate the most from that family! What ever made you guess?"
Hulk Hogan's Rock-N-Wrestling
In lieu of Rowdy C (who disappeared off of the face of the Earth around the same time as Professor Stupidiot), the review is done by The Wrestling Mark.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: "Dreamlighting"
The entire review is done by "The Slacker Sis", played by Chris's real life sister. The review proceeds to take some stabs at the Recap/Review-type webshow, as well as Chris himself.
"Welcome to TV Trash. (beat) REALLY? THAT'S the best intro my brother could come up with?"
"That robot will take away thousands of jobs. Let's hope the Koch Brothers don't see this!"
Immediately afterwards, after an unfortunate camera angle: "Let's hope Roman Polanski doesn't see this!"
"Who'd this guy learn robotics from? Dr Frankenstein?"