History Funny / StuartAshen

* In his ''WesternAnimation/FiremanSam'' Blind Bag opening video, he literally gets the chance to ''[[{{Irony}} burn an action figure of a fireman]]''. He even name-drops said trope:

** In the same video, he manages to misread Dilys' name as [[SpellMyNameWithAnS "Oilys"]].

** What sells the video, though, are the next three bootlegs, which are of such low quality it's almost kind of impressive; a ''Star Wars Episode II'' copy that is a very adhoc home print where the footage itself is a cam recording, ''The Prince'' with about 10 other films on it and smooth jazz in the menus. And then, ''Stuart Little 3: Call of the Wild'', which has a blurb so incomprehensible [[{{Corpsing}} it sends Stuart and Alec into hysterics before long]]. Here is the ''first line'' of the blurb, to give you an idea how bad it is;

** Finally, a copy of ''Catch Me If You Can'' ("[[{{Irony}} A True Story of a Real Fake]]"), another decent rip... except for the back cover. It contains another review rip (though this time it's at least for the movie), and utterly nonsensical poster credits, featuring such gems as "Dreamworks product a Steven Spielberg filmwriting", someone named Frederick Knott being credited [[ShapedLikeItself for the credits]], and "Clayton Hartley by Frank W. Abagnale".

* The phrase "Loud atomic exploding roar".
* The "Magic Putty" has the slightly creepy phrase "look what it does for your pleasure" in its description.
* The "Swollen Thumb":
-->'''Description''': It will cause you to receive much sympathy from your friends.
-->'''Ashens''': "I spent 2'6 on this piece of shit." "Aw, mate, sorry to hear that."
* The catalogue's insistence that they '''[[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial do not]]''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial sell their surprise parcels to dispose of surplus stock]], but to "give a real BARGAIN".

** Next after that is a copy of ''Film/BatmanBegins''; an impressive copy for the most part, except for the blurb on the back... which has been taken from a review of the ''tie-in game'' instead of the movie itself. Then there's one for ''Film/Terminator3RiseOfTheMachines'' (or as the bootleg insists: ''Terminator 3: Rise Machines''), which is mostly stock fonts and stretched images, and has renders of official merchandise on the cover.

* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZkVHAWpGBI 87-Year-Old Jubilee Ale]], he uses a ''WesternAnimation/BettyBoop'' bottle opener that he got from a Loot Crate, to open the titular drink. While struggling to get the cap off, the Betty Boop voice irritates him.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6ji8uMengU They return]], and the results are even better. There's a ''Franchise/StarWars: Film/ANewHope'' bootleg that actually doesn't look too bad, until one looks closer and finds out that now only does it say '''The''' New Hope, but all of the images are from pretty much every other ''Star Wars'' film except the one they're trying to sell! Also one of the images is an old fan render for ships that don't appear in the films.

* [[https://youtu.be/ouvi-fwrfIY His talk about]] ''Hareraiser'', which he considers [[WorstWhateverEver the worst game ever made]], includes a moment where he [[AudienceParticipation asks the audience for who they think the celebrity in on]] ''[[Literature/KitWilliamsMasquerade Masquerade]]'' was. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Someone says "Jimmy Savile"]] and Stuart responds with a genuinely relieved [[NoJustNoReaction "Thank goodness, no!"]].[[note]]The real answer is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamber_Gascoigne Bamber Gascoigne,]] the original quizmaster of ''Series/UniversityChallenge'' from 1962 to 1987.[[/note]]

* [[https://youtu.be/TVgb5gKC_5s?t=408 July 2014]]'s Loot Crate comes with an exclusive Marvel comic, which features an advertisement at the end with a man sporting a huge afro.

* In his Loot Crate June 2014, he tries one of the Warheads candies in the box. (For those outside of the US: Warheads is a brand of extremely sour candies. And we do mean ''extremely'' sour.) Ashen's response? "Crikey! That'll draw yer arse up to your elbows."

* Ashen demonstrates the notebook included in 2016's love crackers by scrawling "PISSY TITS" on its pages.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pjzVcMfP5Y 2015 Valentines Special]]:

--->'''Ashens:''' I can't wait for the eventual movie adaptation of this. He was a man, who couldn't stop running, accidentally. Starring Creator/DwayneJohnson as Idiot.

** As he's trying show us Billy:

'''Ashens:''' No! No! No! No! No! No! No! (fades into titlecard)

* His reactions to and [[EldritchAbomination comments]] about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkYJPqAZ0bk the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Chipotle Microwave Pot]]

%%* The entirety of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1HnQosg3f0 Star Wars Bend-Ems]].

* The entirety of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1HnQosg3f0 Star Wars Bend-Ems]].

[[folder: Gadget Reviews]]

[[folder: Toy and Figure Reviews]]

[[folder: Bootleg Film Reviews]]

[[folder: Norwich Games Festival]]

[[folder: Wish and Ali Express]]

[[folder: Who Stole My Sofa?]]

* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y54VYcnqLAQ 2021 Halloween special]] blesses us with [[https://imgur.com/a/UdY0WCX this image]].

* In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbw9fGx_1RU "Violin: Wonderful Sound Strange Shape" review]], Ashen notes that he actually had to start over. Thankfully for the rest of us, he posted [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adkWiJA9xR0 the reason why]] on his Extras channel, in which he busts a gut laughing at the "translations" of the names of famous violin manufacturers. He spends a whole minute (probably longer) laughing his arse off before deciding he cannot continue.

--->'''Stuart:''' [''speaking as Queen Elizabeth''] Please. May 1, have 1 of the small Funko figurines, that has made of 1?

* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG657Vks5Sk&t=603 review]] of a [[UncannyValley creepy Garden Gnome]] that doubles as a radio. When he actually tries it out, all that comes through is evil-sounding music and a strange ticking noise.