History Funny / Sharpe

* The night before the battle, Lord Uxbridge (Wellington's second-in-command) asks his plans for the following day are; Wellington's curt response is that his plans are entirely dependent on Napoleon's, and since Napoleon has not yet confided in Wellington, Wellington is unable to confide in Uxbridge.

* Sharpe is so enraged over the Prince of Orange causing his men to be slaughtered by cavalry ''for the third time'' that he attempts to [[UnfriendlyFire snipe him from the treeline]], and is elated when the Prince goes down, sure that he has inflicted a fatal, agonizing stomach wound. When he rejoins the Prince's staff, an aide informs him that the Prince was hit in the shoulder - nothing life-threatening, but forcing him to retire from the field. Sharpe curses feelingly, and the aide remarks how kind it is for Sharpe to express such compassion for the Prince, especially after all the bad blood between them. Harper, meanwhile, is [[Corpsing trying like hell not to laugh his ass off.]]

* In an episode, and a series, filled with DeadpanSnarker{{s}}, Rifleman Cooper gets the CMOF with this exchange:

-->'''Bullen''': And Sergeant...? [[TheComicallySerious Don't look funny at him.]]\\

* Sharpe, Lawford, and [=McCandless=] escape the Tipu's prison, and while [=McCandless=] is taken to Appah Rau's house, Sharpe suggests he and Lawford hide out at their favorite brothel, suggesting that one of the girls there is soft enough on Lawford that she'd take them in. Besides, Sharpe had already promised her he'd keep her safe when the assault happened. Lawford is ''really'' curious about when ''that'' conversation must have happened but decides not to press the issue.

!!Literature/SharpesTiger

!!Sharpe's Tiger

* Sharpe insists on looking inside the telegraph station, and a corrupt Portuguese Army Major tries to dissuade him:

* Pvt. Clayton tells Sharpe about the altar of the nearby monastery, which is smothered with painted wooden breasts as offerings. Sharpe thinks Clayton is pulling his leg, until he sees for himself. Even funnier is Wellington's [[StiffUpperLip commentary]]:

* On the night before the Battle of Bussaco, Marshal Ney sends an aide to Marshal Massena's headquarters to tell him the British have stopped on the ridge and are offering battle. Massena is [[SkewedPriorities occupied with his 18-year-old mistress]], so the aide is forced to yell through the bedroom door (according to Cornwell's historical note, [[TruthInTelevision this really happened]]).
* Sharpe's stubbornness about not apologising to Slingsby despite the fact that that's all Lawford wants (having been saddled by his wife with the responsibility of bringing along Slingsby, his brother-in-law). It gets to the point where Leroy bluntly informs Lawford that the only way they can make Sharpe apologise is by getting ''Arthur fucking Wellesley'' to order him to, because Wellesley is the only man who scares Sharpe.

'''Sharpe''': Then I'll break the door down.\\

'''Sharpe''': Then I'll say a prayer for forgiveness after I've knocked it in.

-->'''Wellesley''': You've done me a good turn, [[NoGoodDeedGoesUnpunished now I'm doing you a bad one.]]

-->'''Maj. Ferreira''': The door is locked, ''Senhor''.\\

'''Maj. Ferreira''': It is a shrine, ''Senhor''.\\
'''Sharpe''': Then I'll say a prayer after I've broken it down.

-->'''Maj. Ferreira'': The door is locked, ''Senhor''.\\

** At the start of the show, Sharpe saves Wellesley from French soldiers. Wellesley rewards him with a field commission, describing it such:

* Crossed with {{Awesome}}: After Harper kills the two French dragoons escorting the Man in Black, the latter turns his horse and rides away as fast as possible. Harper tap-reloads, takes careful aim... and shoots the Man in Black's hat off his head. When Sharpe and Co. rush toward the sound of the gunshots, they see two dead dragoons and Harper, sitting cross-legged on the hillside with the hat at a jaunty angle on his head.

* Perkins ComicallyMissingThePoint when Harper tells him that the Chosen Men are going to "join up with Sharpe" (whom the rest of them believed had been executed):
-->'''Perkins''': You mean we're gonna die, Sarge?

'''Cooper''': ''(reluctantly hands it over)'' Do I get it back, sir?

* In an episode, and a show, filled with DeadpanSnarkers, Rifleman Cooper gets the CMOF with this exchange:

'''Cooper''': ...Do I get it back, sir?\\

* Pvt. Clayton tells Sharpe about the altar of the nearby monastery, where painted wooden breasts are left on the altar as offerings. Sharpe thinks Clayton is pulling his leg, until he sees for himself. Even funnier is Wellington's [[StiffUpperLip commentary]]:

--> Bloody hell, Sharpe thought. In a sewer?

* The [[MacrossMissileMassacre Rocket]] [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy Troop]] in ''[[Recap/SharpeS2E2SharpesEnemy Sharpe's Enemy]]'' spend the entire morning firing at an abandoned barn. The result?

** After that, Sharpe decides to go to the one place where he can have peace and quiet. The barn.
*** Then he and Harper eat their words when it turns out the barrage was a ''little'' more noisy and barn-rattling than it seemed from first glance...
** Later still, a rocket fails to leave its launch ramp properly, forcing everyone to take cover.
--->'''Lt. Gilliand:''' [[AskAStupidQuestion Does that mean you will not be able to find a use for us, sir?]]
--->''(Sharpe slowly turns to [[DeathGlare glare at Gilliand.]])''
--->'''Sharpe:''' [[TranquilFury Oh, I'll find a use for you, Lieutenant.]] [[FalseReassurance Don't you worry about that.]]
** Upon his promotion to Major, Sharpe pits Perkins against Frederickson's best marksman, who proves his skill by shooting a hat thrown in the air several hundred yards away. When Perkins misses the same shot, Sharpe quickly covers by saying that Perkins is clearly the better shot - he shot through the hole the first shot made.
** The reading of the letter detailing his promotion to Major is also hilarious.
--->'''Major Nairn:''' ''(with a shit-eating grin throughout)'' "George III, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, King, Defender of the Faith, [[BlahBlahBlah et cetera et cetera et cetera]], to our trusty and well-beloved Richard Sharpe, Esquire; greetings. We do by these present constitute and appoint you to be Major, in our army now in Portugal and in Spain and blah blah blah blah."
* In ''[[Recap/SharpeS3E3SharpesSword Sharpe's Sword]]'', Harris is in the library looking for a book that could serve as a key for a message he's trying to decode. When Sir Henry Simmerson asks him what he's doing, Harris replies that he's looking for a book to wipe his bum with. Simmerson just tells him not to use anything British and suggests that he uses some French writing, tossing him a copy of ''Literature/{{Candide}}''.
** Also, the part where [[CuteMute Lass]] ejects Simmerson from the library at gunpoint while Harris, on his way in doesn't seem to notice as he's too busy reading the book Simmerson gave him.
** Then there is this exchange:
--> '''Berkley:''' Have they got cannon?
--> '''Simmerson:''' I have been in that fort many times under a flag of truce, and I categorically state that they have no cannon.
-->''(Cue cannon shell being fired from the fort and exploding near them)''
** Harper's wedding. Father Curtis has been getting on at him to marry his lover Ramona all episode. During the battle at the episode's climax, Harper takes a knock and the priest tells him he will die and asks if he has any last wishes. After expressing his regrets that he never married Ramona, Harper is given a battlefield wedding. Father Curtis slaps Harper on the shoulder and tells him to get up and kiss the bride. When Harper protests that he was going to die, Curtis tells him "we're all going to die, Patrick" with a roll of the eyes. Cue laughter from Sharpe and the others.
* Just about everything General Calvet says to Sharpe after taking him prisoner in ''[[Recap/SharpeS5E1SharpesRevenge Sharpe's Revenge]]'', but in particular his version of a NotSoDifferentRemark:

* In ''[[Recap/SharpeS5E3SharpesWaterloo Sharpe's Waterloo]]'', Sharpe being apologetic to a young officer who'd been on the Prince of Orange's staff and had called the Prince 'a silk-stocking full of shit' after his latest cock-up had got a battalion killed - ''again''. He'd asked Sharpe to intercede for him after telling him what had happened, then Sharpe tells him that he'll sort the Prince out... cut to a few scenes later, where Sharpe comes back, all apologetic, and explains that unfortunately, he only managed to shoot the Prince in the shoulder, rather than anywhere lethal.
* The ending of ''[[Recap/SharpeF2SharpesPeril Sharpe's Peril]]'' as Sharpe and Harper prepare to leave after Sharpe has parted on good terms with [[TheNeidermeyer Simmerson]].

* In ''Sharpe's Tiger'', Sharpe is informed that he's being sent on a secret mission, where he'll be allowed to desert in order to infiltrate the Tipu's stronghold. He reckons it's the ideal chance for him to desert for real and get one in on the Army, [[OhCrap until he learns]] he'll also have to look after his unit's EnsignNewbie along the way.
** Lawford is mortified when he realizes that Sharpe is going to immediately take full advantage of the mission and its secrecy, bringing along his girlfriend and conning a General into giving him money to buy a lockpick he already secretly owns. [[GenreSavvy General Baird]], for his part, assumed Sharpe already had the lockpick but respected [[RefugeInAudacity the ballsiness of the attempt to con him out of a guinea.]]
** The visual of Sergeant Hakeswell marching into combat carrying every weapon he could strap onto himself provides some levity [[HateSink at the character's expense,]]
** [=McCandless=] repeatedly reprimands Sharpe for blasphemy, but after Sharpe fights the tiger and let's out a [[PrecisionFStrike curse mixed with the Lord's name]], the Colonel doesn't correct him, because he knows a prayer when he hears one.
** Sharpe, Lawford, and [=McCandless=] escape the Tipu's prison, and while [=McCandless=] is taken to Appah Rau's house, Sharpe suggests he and Lawford hide out at their favorite brothel, suggesting that one of the girls there is soft enough on Lawford that she'd take them in. Besides, Sharpe had already promised her he'd keep her safe when the assault happened. Lawford is ''really'' curious about when ''that'' conversation must have happened but decides not to press the issue.
** The Tipu has a wooden contraption, a mechanical tiger that paws at a facsimile of a bloodied British soldier, with simulated growls and groans to complete the macabre presentation. It is presented as being a quite grim thing, but after the British take the city, a gaggle of British officers are seen to be playing with it, laughing in amusement at the faux British soldier being mauled.
* In ''[[Recap/SharpeS1E1SharpesRifles Sharpe's Rifles]]'' and later on, Hogan occasionally takes hits of what is probably snuff tobacco, but given some of his antics (like secretly shadowing Sharpe on his mission across contested Spain), modern audiences could be forgiven for assuming he just snorts cocaine during meetings.

** During the final battle of ''[[Recap/SharpeS1E1SharpesRifles Sharpe's Rifles]]'', this [[CasualDangerDialogue exchange]] from Cooper and Harris while trading fire with French troops.

* In ''[[Recap/SharpeS1E2SharpesEagle Sharpe's Eagle]]'', Harper is mothering Sharpe, dressing a leg wound and helping him shave. Sharpe gives off the impression that Harper was less annoying when he was trying to lead a mutiny against him.

** Sharpe is not interested in signing on to go on this mission under Simmerson's command. Hogan talks him into it by pointing out that he might run into [[ActionGirl Comandante Teresa]] again.
** After the Battle at Val de la Casa, Sharpe's very anxious about reporting to Wellesley, pacing nonstop in the foyer. Harper tries to calm him down.

* In ''Sharpe's Enemy'', there's several.
** Sharpe's stubbornness about not apologising to Slingsby despite the fact that that's all Lawford wants (having been saddled by his wife with the responsibility of bringing along Slingsby, his brother-in-law). It gets to the point where Leroy bluntly informs Lawford that the only way they can make Sharpe apologise is by getting ''Arthur fucking Wellesley'' to order him to, because Wellesley is the only man who scares Sharpe.
** Sharpe, as Quartermaster, first billeting known and semi-recovered alcoholic Slingsby in a tavern, then billeting Lawford in Major Ferreira's house solely to annoy Ferreira and Ferragus.
** ProperLady and governess Miss Fry's distaste for bad language and her steady resignation to it as Sharpe and Harper swear every other sentence on reflex and then apologise for it.
-->'''Sarah''': "It's a real language lesson."
** And as the inevitable {{UST}} develops between Sharpe and Sarah, when both are mostly naked and escaping through a tunnel, and he's helped her across a gap in pitch darkness, they have a moment. Of course, there's a matter of where that tunnel is, one that makes even [[ReallyGetsAround Sharpe]] think twice...
--> Bloody hell, Sharpe thought. In a sewer?

--->'''Major Nairn:''' "George III, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, King, Defender of the Faith, [[BlahBlahBlah et cetera et cetera et cetera]], to our trusty and well-beloved Richard Sharpe, Esquire; greetings. We do by these present constitute and appoint you to be Major, in our army now in Portugal and in Spain and blah blah blah blah."

* In ''[[Recap/SharpeS3E3SharpesSword Sharpe's Sword]]'', Harris is in the library looking for a book that could serve as a key for a message he's trying to decode. When Sir Henry Simmerson asks him what he's doing, Harris replies that he's looking for a book to wipe his bum with. Simmerson just tells him not to use anything British and suggests that he uses some French writing.
** Also, the part where a lady ejects Simmerson from the library at gunpoint while Harris, on his way in doesn't seem to notice as he's too busy reading a book.
** Then there is this exchange

* Harper's wedding in [[Recap/SharpeS3E3SharpesSword Sharpe's Sword]]. The priest has been getting on at him to marry his lover Ramona all episode. During the battle at the episode's climax, Harper takes a knock and the priest tells him he will die and asks if he has any last wishes. After expressing his regrets that he never married Ramona, Harper is given a battlefield wedding. The priest slaps Harper on the shoulder and tells him to get up and kiss the bride. When Harper protests that he was going to die, the priest tells him "we're all going to die, Patrick" with a roll of the eyes. Cue laughter from Sharpe and the others.