History Funny / Rome

-->'''Antony''': ''[beaten] Fine''. Do as you like!

-->'''Antony:''' ''[baffled]'' On Juno's... CUNT!

* Dark example, when [[TheSociopath Octavius]] ([[EnfantTerrible age about 14]]) takes over Pullo's interrogation and torture of Evander.

* Antony is given a strict budget to recover Caesar's eagle. Half a talent. When he debriefs Vorenus on the mission, Antony steals half of it without a second thought, and meassures the weight of the money bag with his hand to make sure he's being rapacious enough.

* It's a recurrent line of his, but Antony's expression and delivery when Octavian confirms that he's already borrowed three million sestertii to give to plebs makes that particular instance stand out.

-->'''Antony:''' [baffled] On Juno's... CUNT!

-->'''Cicero''': ''[moving to leave]'' [[BlantantLies A pleasure as always]].

--->Fine, fine. Merula, fetch that German slut from the kitchen.

* Atia and Octavia arguing over who will kill who when their house was under siege by Pompeii's men in episode 3.

** While he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly begins to ponder, "I don't suppose, seeing as I'm with the quality..." (meaning the upper class)

* Pullo goes to a high class brothel to find a girl for Octavian and is outraged by their prices. But while he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly suggest that "as long as he's with the quality" (meaning the upper class):
-->'''Madam:''' (without looking up from her ledger) Not a chance!
** Also:

* Antony is given a strict budget to recover Caesar's eagle. Half a talent. When he debriefs Vorenus on the mission, Antony steals half of it without a second though, and meassures the weight of the money bag with his hand to make sure he's being rapacious enough.

-->Also:

'''Vorenus:''' [[TemptingFate Why can't you learn to keep your fat mouth shut?!]]\\

-->'''Vorenus''': This can only mean that the Republic has fallen!
-->'''Pullo''': And yet, the sky is still above us and the earth still below. Strange.
-->'''Vorenus''': If Mars were watching, he would never allow such dishonor.
-->'''Pullo''': Maybe he was having a crap and missed it.

-->'''Agrippa''': I would follow you to Hades, [[FateWorseThanDeath to Britain even]], if I thought we had the right.

* Mark Antony's really shines and enjoys himself when his hour comes:

* Mark Antony's rather strong pronouncement that he wants to stay in bed...
-->I'm not rising from this bed until I fuck someone.

-->Fine, fine. Merula, fetch that German slut from the kitchen.
* After Servilia's [[spoiler: suicide]]:
-->'''Mark Antony:''' Now ''that'' is an exit.

'''Pompey:''' Perhaps you would have us climb a tree! ''(the whole Senate laughs)

* Mark Antony's rather strong pronouncement that he wants to stay in bed...
-->I'm not rising from this bed until I fuck someone.
** Mirrored by Atia's "fine fine" answer:
-->Fine, fine. Merula, fetch that German slut from the kitchen.

* After Servilia's [[spoiler: suicide]]:
-->'''Mark Antony:''' Now ''that'' is an exit.

* Agrippa taking a drunk and high Octavia home only to be confronted by her mother as he's trying to get away.
-->'''Octavia''': I was at an orgy, mother.
-->'''Agrippa''': ''Early'' stages! Early stages of an orgy. The Bacchcic rituals had not yet begun.

* During the Battle of Philippi, Octavian is peering into the dust kicked up by two virtually identical Roman armies slogging it out hand-to-hand.
-->'''Octavian:''' What's going on?
-->'''Antony:''' ''(casually munching on some bread)'' Noooo idea.

* Atia and Octavia are kept waiting outside Cleopatra's palace in the heat in formal Roman dress, unaware that Marc Antony and Cleopatra are arguing over whether or not to kill them. They're relieved when the doors finally open, only for Jocasta to [[GoingNative emerge in Egyptian dress]] and start cheerfully gossiping to her old friend Octavia who just gapes in astonishment. Then an embarrassed Posca runs out and physically hauls Jocasta back inside.
-->'''Atia:''' They've all gone insane, obviously!

-->'''Octavian''' ''(businesslike):'' Cut off his thumbs.
-->'''Pullo''' ''(half admiring, half appalled):'' Juno's cunt, but you're salty! And I was worried about bringing ''you'' here!

* Agrippa taking Octavia home.

-->'''Agrippa''': ''Early'' stages of an orgy. The Bacchcic rituals had not yet begun.
* An irritated Octavia mocking the way her own mother moans during sex. Antony (the one who induced the sounds) [[ActuallyPrettyFunny can't help but praise the reenactment]]: "She has you exactly."

* Pullo's first meeting with Cleopatra pretty much shows ''exactly'' what he's about. He bursts into her tent, saving her and her slave from an assassin, and then keeps stabbing the guy about twenty times while looking around the room and slowly realizing that: a) the guy is very dead ''and'' b) here be womenfolk

* Pullo's first meeting with Cleopatra pretty much shows ''exactly'' what he's about. He bursts into her tent, saving her and her slave from an assassin, and then keeps stabbing the guy about twenty times while looking around the room and slowly realizing that
--> a) the guy is very dead
-->''and''
--> b) here be womenfolk
-->His stabs slooowly peter off as he looks around and then he grins up at the '''''Queen of Egypt'''''

-->His stabs slooowly peter off as he looks around and then he grins up at the '''/''Queen of Egypt''/'''

-->'''Vorenus:''' "Report to Princess Cleopatra and do whatever she tells you to."
* One extremely vigorous and noisy sex scene later...*
'''Pullo:''' Gods, that was something, let me tell you.
'''Vorenus:''' I don't want to hear about it. If you're wise, you'll [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain never speak of this again]].

-->His stabs slooowly peter off as he looks around and then he grins up at the '''Queen of Egypt'''

-->'''Vorenus:''' "Report to Princess Cleopatra and do whatever she tells you to."\\
* One extremely vigorous and noisy sex scene later...*\\
'''Pullo:''' Gods, that was something, let me tell you.\\
'''Vorenus:''' I don't want to hear about it. If you're wise, you'll [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain never speak of this again]].\\