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** Through fortunate timing, the narrator finds the Blood Whistle right as Diabetus finds the Warp Whistle.
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** Through fortunate timing, the narrator finds the Blood Whistle right as Diabetus finds uses the Warp Whistle.
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** The creator's [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial insistence]] that the game isn't a ROM Hack is unintentionally funny in and of itself.
to:
** The creator's [[YouHaveToBelieveMe repeated]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial insistence]] that the game isn't a ROM Hack Hack, but is actually an easter egg intentionally planted by Nintendo, is unintentionally funny in and of itself.
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* ''I HATE YOU''. Once again, the author's idea of 'scary' is to slather everything in blood, only this time there's the added bonus of mediocre sprite edits. There are frequent reminders of things that happen just moments earlier in the story, the writing switches into PurpleProse [[SophisticatedAsHell from time to time]], and many of the events in the story are described as "brilliant" and "a nice touch," leading slowbeef and his guests to believe the author's talking about his own writing rather than the game developer's design. Some specific moments that stand out include...
to:
* ''I ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmITolSZ7iw I HATE YOU''.YOU]]''. Once again, the author's idea of 'scary' is to slather everything in blood, only this time there's the added bonus of mediocre sprite edits. There are frequent reminders of things that happen just moments earlier in the story, the writing switches into PurpleProse [[SophisticatedAsHell from time to time]], and many of the events in the story are described as "brilliant" and "a nice touch," leading slowbeef and his guests to believe the author's talking about his own writing rather than the game developer's design. Some specific moments that stand out include...
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I wouldn\'t call the sprite edits awful - they\'re better than the ones in \"Blood Whistle\".
Changed line(s) 802 (click to see context) from:
* ''I HATE YOU'', where the author decides to unnecessarily describe his habits of downloading (and then printing?) pornography. Once again, the author's idea of 'scary' is to slather everything in blood. Only this time there's the added plus of awful-sprite edits. There are frequent reminders of things that happen just moments earlier in the story, and many of the changes are described as "brilliant" and "a nice touch," leading slowbeef and his guests to believe the author's talking about his own writing rather than whatever entity made the Mario ROM.
to:
* ''I HATE YOU'', where the author decides to unnecessarily describe his habits of downloading (and then printing?) pornography. YOU''. Once again, the author's idea of 'scary' is to slather everything in blood. Only blood, only this time there's the added plus bonus of awful-sprite mediocre sprite edits. There are frequent reminders of things that happen just moments earlier in the story, the writing switches into PurpleProse [[SophisticatedAsHell from time to time]], and many of the changes events in the story are described as "brilliant" and "a nice touch," leading slowbeef and his guests to believe the author's talking about his own writing rather than whatever entity made the game developer's design. Some specific moments that stand out include...
** The fact that the author decides to unnecessarily describe his habits of downloading (and then printing?) pornography.
** "OH GOD WHY"; to elaborate, there's a picture of Bowser's cave bleeding tears that ''inexplicably turn purple''.
** The creator's [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial insistence]] that the game isn't a ROM Hack is unintentionally funny in and of itself.
** The narration [[ViewersAreMorons spells out]] the presence of a Hell Valley Sky Tree from ''Super MarioROM.Galaxy 2'' - [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment which has absolutely no impact on the story]].
** The kicker comes with the picture at the ending: [[spoiler:Luigi's burnt corpse standing by Mario and Princess Peach, while Mario is looking moderately irritated and Peach is in tears.]] It's supposed to come across as creepy, but it CrossesTheLineTwice instead. The riffing crew have a field day with this.
** The fact that the author decides to unnecessarily describe his habits of downloading (and then printing?) pornography.
** "OH GOD WHY"; to elaborate, there's a picture of Bowser's cave bleeding tears that ''inexplicably turn purple''.
** The creator's [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial insistence]] that the game isn't a ROM Hack is unintentionally funny in and of itself.
** The narration [[ViewersAreMorons spells out]] the presence of a Hell Valley Sky Tree from ''Super Mario
** The kicker comes with the picture at the ending: [[spoiler:Luigi's burnt corpse standing by Mario and Princess Peach, while Mario is looking moderately irritated and Peach is in tears.]] It's supposed to come across as creepy, but it CrossesTheLineTwice instead. The riffing crew have a field day with this.
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Changed line(s) 802 (click to see context) from:
* ''I HATE YOU'', where the author decides to unnecessarily describe his habits of downloading (and then printing?) pornography. Once again, the author's idea of 'scary' is to slather everything in blood. Only this time there's the added plus of awful-sprite edits.
to:
* ''I HATE YOU'', where the author decides to unnecessarily describe his habits of downloading (and then printing?) pornography. Once again, the author's idea of 'scary' is to slather everything in blood. Only this time there's the added plus of awful-sprite edits. There are frequent reminders of things that happen just moments earlier in the story, and many of the changes are described as "brilliant" and "a nice touch," leading slowbeef and his guests to believe the author's talking about his own writing rather than whatever entity made the Mario ROM.
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* ''I HATE YOU'', where the author decides to unnecessarily describe his habits of downloading (and then printing?) pornography. Once again, the author's idea of 'scary' is to slather everything in blood. Only this time there's the added plus of awful-sprite edits.
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** The scene where Sebmal slaps an Xbox 360 game around an NES in an attempt to get it to work.
-->'''Sebmal:''' Oh, wow, it doesn't even fit! Thanks for such a shitty video game console, Sega!
-->'''Sebmal:''' Oh, wow, it doesn't even fit! Thanks for such a shitty video game console, Sega!
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** His second scene, featuring him attempting to [[LiteralMinded unlock an iPad]].
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-->'''James Lewell:''' How am I supposed to write the essay if it takes my pencil away from me! Where'd it go? ''[...]''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Why is there a boat here? Am I supposed to ride the boat to school?]]
to:
-->'''James Lewell:''' How am I supposed to write the essay if it takes my pencil away from me! Where'd it go? ''[...]''' [...] [[ItMakesSenseInContext Why is there a boat here? Am I supposed to ride the boat to school?]]
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-->'''James Lewell:''' How am I supposed to write the essay if it takes my pencil away from me! Where'd it go?
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-->'''James Lewell:''' How am I supposed to write the essay if it takes my pencil away from me! Where'd it go?go? ''[...]''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Why is there a boat here? Am I supposed to ride the boat to school?]]
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** Psychadelic Eyeball's attempt to draw a [[VisualPun floppy-eared dog]] can't go unmentioned.
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** Psychadelic Psychedelic Eyeball's attempt to draw a [[VisualPun floppy-eared dog]] can't go unmentioned.
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** Psychadelic Eyeball's attempt to draw a [[VisualPun floppy-eared dog]] can't go unmentioned.
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'''slowbeef:''' I think it's Mario World Reznor-who is Mario World Reznor?\\
to:
'''slowbeef:''' I think it's Mario World Reznor-who Reznor... Who is Mario World Reznor?\\
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** Slowbeef's first scene, where he struggles to use a shower.
-->'''slowbeef:''' I'm not getting clean!
** The pencil sharpener scene:
-->'''James Lewell:''' How am I supposed to write the essay if it takes my pencil away from me! Where'd it go?
-->'''slowbeef:''' I'm not getting clean!
** The pencil sharpener scene:
-->'''James Lewell:''' How am I supposed to write the essay if it takes my pencil away from me! Where'd it go?
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* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abYKKrCkF-c A Day in the Life of DarkSydePhil]]'': Quite a couple in this collab of clips, most of which parody [=DarkSydePhil=] being TooIncompetentToOperateABlanket.
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Changed line(s) 951 (click to see context) from:
** Following this is the "Sandwich" Video.
to:
** Following this is the "Sandwich" [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kipaqi3xVTk "Sandwich"]] Video.
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replaced link
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** ''[[http://www.viddler.com/v/713f71f3 The Even More Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]''
to:
** ''[[http://www.viddler.com/v/713f71f3 youtube.com/watch?v=iyvOMtLI6xY The Even More Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]''
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** In the finale, someone asks Steve a question...
-->'''Priest/Game-Show Host:''' Do you believe in God, son?
-->'''slowbeef:''' Not anymore! [[DespairEventHorizon Not since I've played Harvester!]]
-->'''Priest/Game-Show Host:''' Do you believe in God, son?
-->'''slowbeef:''' Not anymore! [[DespairEventHorizon Not since I've played Harvester!]]
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-->'''Kathy:''' Treasure? There's no treasure. Father told us he found something really horrible!\\
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-->'''Cobra:''' Sleep well, my sweet child.\\
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--> '''[[AccidentalInnuendo The Fister]]:''' ...You can carry my name with you 'til the end of time: [[FailOSuckyname Hammerbolt Joe]]!
--> ''[slowbeef laughs]''\\
--> ''[slowbeef laughs]''\\
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-->
''[slowbeef laughs]''\\
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whoops wrong guy XD
Changed line(s) 768 (click to see context) from:
** Through fortunate timing, the narrator finds the Blood Whistle right as Slowbeef finds the Warp Whistle.
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** Through fortunate timing, the narrator finds the Blood Whistle right as Slowbeef Diabetus finds the Warp Whistle.
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** Through fortunate timing, the narrator finds the Blood Whistle right as Slowbeef finds the Warp Whistle.
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* Creator/ZapDramatic[='=]s "How to Get out of Speeding Tickets" and "How to Get a Raise" feature some of the worst advice of all time, but the real gold comes when the latter video goes completely off the rails:
to:
* Creator/ZapDramatic[='=]s "How "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt05eLs-Jno How to Get out of Speeding Tickets" Tickets]]" and "How "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oQNnFgyH3E How to Get a Raise" Raise]]" feature some of the worst advice of all time, but the real gold comes when the latter video goes completely off the rails:
Changed line(s) 223 (click to see context) from:
** "How Not To Get Killed At Your Local Pub" features a very bizarre winning animation with [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext the lady that the player talks to and a tape that she puts between her tits]].
to:
** "How "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89zCBLQSfaQ How Not To Get Killed At Your Local Pub" Pub]]" features a very bizarre winning animation with [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext the lady that the player talks to and a tape that she puts between her tits]].
Changed line(s) 264 (click to see context) from:
** From ''Trapped'':
to:
** From ''Trapped'':''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcpKHG8TeGQ Trapped]]'':
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** From ''Pursuit'':
to:
** From ''Pursuit'':''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbNREEEx6ZQ Pursuit]]'':
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** From ''Escape'':
to:
** From ''Escape'':''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj_fxG8kU2c Escape]]'':
Changed line(s) 416 (click to see context) from:
** In Episode 2, slowbeef starts explaining where Valanice fits within the King's Quest royal family... then gets "distracted" and mixes up their genealogy with that of the [[ASongOfIceAndFire Lannisters and the Starks]].
to:
** In [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfOEnIWu1h0 Episode 2, 2]], slowbeef starts explaining where Valanice fits within the King's Quest royal family... then gets "distracted" and mixes up their genealogy with that of the [[ASongOfIceAndFire Lannisters and the Starks]].
Changed line(s) 421 (click to see context) from:
*** The video description for Episode 4 reads "ProtonJon decided to guest in this video [[NeverLiveItDown after he found out the King's Quest franchise didn't have much time left to live]]."
to:
*** The video description for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWFsPrwRDho Episode 4 4]] reads "ProtonJon decided to guest in this video [[NeverLiveItDown after he found out the King's Quest franchise didn't have much time left to live]]."
Changed line(s) 426 (click to see context) from:
** Episode 7 features them slowly losing their sanity at how slow and boring the game is, resulting in them simply imitating [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Bane]] for nearly the entire second half of the video. And near the end, they lose it when [[spoiler: Valanice quickly fills up a river and makes a rainbow appear without having to cry a lot]].
to:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpkXGf2lTN8 Episode 7 7]] features them slowly losing their sanity at how slow and boring the game is, resulting in them simply imitating [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Bane]] for nearly the entire second half of the video. And near the end, they lose it when [[spoiler: Valanice quickly fills up a river and makes a rainbow appear without having to cry a lot]].
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* ''VideoGame/{{Harvester}}: A Darkseed-Like'':
** The entire conversation with Mr. Johnson in Part 2.
** In part 8, slowbeef's wife walks in on the recording. During the sex scene.
** The entire conversation with Mr. Johnson in Part 2.
** In part 8, slowbeef's wife walks in on the recording. During the sex scene.
to:
* ''VideoGame/{{Harvester}}: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0moQMdtGF0 A Darkseed-Like'':
Darkseed-Like]]'':
** The entire conversation with Mr. Johnson in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKBGsuAxXk8 Part2.
2]].
** In [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WReS2vAq5KY part8, 8]], slowbeef's wife walks in on the recording. During the sex scene.
** The entire conversation with Mr. Johnson in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKBGsuAxXk8 Part
** In [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WReS2vAq5KY part
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** Part 9 starts off with the infamous [[EyeScream baby scene]]. Even the normally imperturbable Diabetus is speechless.
to:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQBMNji1atQ Part 9 9]] starts off with the infamous [[EyeScream baby scene]]. Even the normally imperturbable Diabetus is speechless.
Changed line(s) 440 (click to see context) from:
* Episode three of ''[[VideoGame/IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream I Have No Idea, But I Must Play]]'' has the two playing Nimdok's scenario... while Diabetus [[ComicallyMissingThePoint pretends to have no idea of what the setting actually is,]] and Slowbeef tries to distract him from figuring it out. [[spoiler:He nearly gets it at the nineteen minute mark, but Slowbeef turns his attention to an inflatable cat.]]
to:
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMSaMgXjHEs Episode three three]] of ''[[VideoGame/IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream I Have No Idea, But I Must Play]]'' has the two playing Nimdok's scenario... while Diabetus [[ComicallyMissingThePoint pretends to have no idea of what the setting actually is,]] and Slowbeef tries to distract him from figuring it out. [[spoiler:He nearly gets it at the nineteen minute mark, but Slowbeef turns his attention to an inflatable cat.]]
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** Episode six gives us this CallBack:
to:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIWRca0fY3c Episode six six]] gives us this CallBack:
Changed line(s) 568 (click to see context) from:
* ''Real Estate Headaches'': The VideoGame/DarkSeed wrongpurae, where every new room Mike Dawson enters in his newly-purchased house just increases their incredulity as to why anyone would actually buy this moldering money pit.
to:
* ''Real ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRH6Bu6RjbE Real Estate Headaches'': Headaches]]'': The VideoGame/DarkSeed wrongpurae, where every new room Mike Dawson enters in his newly-purchased house just increases their incredulity as to why anyone would actually buy this moldering money pit.
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* ''Terrible Sequel Headaches'': The ''[[VideoGame/DarkSeed DarkSeed 2]]'' wrongpurae replaces bad housing with Mike Dawson suddenly becoming the most pathetic person on Earth.
to:
* ''Terrible ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca6PZF660i4 Terrible Sequel Headaches'': Headaches]]'': The ''[[VideoGame/DarkSeed DarkSeed 2]]'' wrongpurae replaces bad housing with Mike Dawson suddenly becoming the most pathetic person on Earth.
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Changed line(s) 960 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://www.viddler.com/explore/retsu/videos/108/ Ultimate Challenge]]'': What might be THE defining moment in the history of combining a LP and a package of pizza rolls.
to:
* ''[[http://www.viddler.com/explore/retsu/videos/108/ youtube.com/watch?v=SpAiH2Mt564 Ultimate Challenge]]'': What might be THE defining moment in the history of combining a LP and a package of pizza rolls.
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Changed line(s) 105 (click to see context) from:
* ''Ambition Babies'' covers yet another [[Creator/ZapDramatic Michael Gibson]] series, this time focusing on children. For some reason, the player now has a "Persuasion Power" meter that fills when you become more popular with the others. It tends to fill up after particularly negative choices (i.e. mocking a boy's speech impediment), and every time it fills or drains lightning strikes the screen.
to:
* ''Ambition Babies'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ku263TRcScQ Ambition Babies]]'' covers yet another [[Creator/ZapDramatic Michael Gibson]] series, this time focusing on children. For some reason, the player now has a "Persuasion Power" meter that fills when you become more popular with the others. It tends to fill up after particularly negative choices (i.e. mocking a boy's speech impediment), and every time it fills or drains lightning strikes the screen.
Changed line(s) 117 (click to see context) from:
** The third installment has Ted outright saying he doesn't feel like teaching today, and in general saying things that are far too complex for elementary school students to understand. Also, the vice principal punishes you for participating in humiliating another student by ''sending you back in time'' to the beginning of the day, leading to several mentions of TimeTravel in the commentary (and Diabetus asking if your character is named [[Series/DoctorWho "The Doctor"]]).
to:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yxjCMl1g3o The third installment installment]] has Ted outright saying he doesn't feel like teaching today, and in general saying things that are far too complex for elementary school students to understand. Also, the vice principal punishes you for participating in humiliating another student by ''sending you back in time'' to the beginning of the day, leading to several mentions of TimeTravel in the commentary (and Diabetus asking if your character is named [[Series/DoctorWho "The Doctor"]]).
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* The Arrival in Hell Retsufrash is one long string of these, with them mocking the terrible animation and art, the awful voice acting, the rampant typos, and the confusing puzzles.
to:
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lpw3-XgZuw Arrival in Hell Hell]] Retsufrash is one long string of these, with them mocking the terrible animation and art, the awful voice acting, the rampant typos, and the confusing puzzles.
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replacing links
Changed line(s) 134 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/arise-minus-jpegs-let-s-start-the-bidding-at-2-5653720 Arise Minus JPEGs -- Let's Start the Bidding at $2]]'': The RP of ''Lechuza'': their reactions to the protagonist's NightmareFace, the rampant GISSyndrome and Slowbeef's continued lamentation that he ''paid'' for this game. ''Twice'' (for the iPad and the Mac):
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/arise-minus-jpegs-let-s-start-the-bidding-at-2-5653720 ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUYfp-8S8M8 Arise Minus JPEGs JPEGs]]'' -- ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfG7b9pbyIM Let's Start the Bidding at $2]]'': The RP of ''Lechuza'': their reactions to the protagonist's NightmareFace, the rampant GISSyndrome and Slowbeef's continued lamentation that he ''paid'' for this game. ''Twice'' (for the iPad and the Mac):
Changed line(s) 387 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/earnest-goes-to-anime-5467989 Earnest Goes to Anime]]'': The ''VideoGame/EarnestEvans'' wrongpurae has the guys (and the watchers) in hysterics after just five minutes of gameplay, thanks to the wonky animation of the main character ("based on ''{{QWOP}}''" according to Diabetus), bizarre and improbable physics, a power up [[PoisonMushroom that puts the character to sleep and nothing else]] and the IndyEscape sequence triggering the wrong way.
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/earnest-goes-to-anime-5467989 Earnest Goes to ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOkbXeIKKgY Earnest]]'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTO5xrA3Sz4 Goes]]'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmGUprJabQc to]]'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0h9xYJxlw8 Anime]]'': The ''VideoGame/EarnestEvans'' wrongpurae has the guys (and the watchers) in hysterics after just five minutes of gameplay, thanks to the wonky animation of the main character ("based on ''{{QWOP}}''" according to Diabetus), bizarre and improbable physics, a power up [[PoisonMushroom that puts the character to sleep and nothing else]] and the IndyEscape sequence triggering the wrong way.
Changed line(s) 469 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/journey-to-the-exit-of-the-arcade-5531176 Journey to the Exit of the Arcade]]'' is full of hilarious lines, but about halfway through wherein they start ''mocking the raptors'' is pure comedy gold.
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/journey-to-the-exit-of-the-arcade-5531176 ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5O5V8cSsNc Journey to the the]]'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_K1iKXNTHg Exit of the Arcade]]'' is full of hilarious lines, but about halfway through wherein they start ''mocking the raptors'' is pure comedy gold.
Changed line(s) 503 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-long-look-at-last-alert-5025355 Let's Take a Long Look at Last Alert]]'': The hour-and-a-half long RP of a commentary-free longplay of LastAlert by slowbeef and Diabetus is rife with the stuff, as should be expected by anyone who knows of the game. Especially their reaction to boss conversations.
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-long-look-at-last-alert-5025355 Let's Take a Long Look at Last Alert]]'': Alert]]''[[labelnote:Part 1 On [=YouTube=]]]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I1_183Y1MY[[/labelnote]]: The hour-and-a-half long RP of a commentary-free longplay of LastAlert by slowbeef and Diabetus is rife with the stuff, as should be expected by anyone who knows of the game. Especially their reaction to boss conversations.
Changed line(s) 525 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-sidelong-stare-at-star-strike-5123008 Let's Take A Sidelong Stare At Star Strike]]'': Sci-Fi cheese at its greatest.
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-sidelong-stare-at-star-strike-5123008 ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUm_55M6tnQ Let's Take A A]]'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eDK-dmO0lA Sidelong Stare Stare]]'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsgOEYJuxZU At Star Strike]]'': Sci-Fi cheese at its greatest.
Changed line(s) 527 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-5908537 Mortal Kombat Mythologies:]] [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-part-2-2-5910644 Sub Par]], the longplay video for VideoGame/MortalKombatMythologiesSubZero.
to:
* [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-5908537 ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRTXEEHiOtQ Mortal Kombat Mythologies:]] [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-part-2-2-5910644 Mythologies:]]'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4dlwgbj7hc Sub Par]], Par]]'': the longplay video for VideoGame/MortalKombatMythologiesSubZero.
Changed line(s) 586 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/retsupurae-3000-5187175 Retsupurae 3000]]'': The RiseOfTheDragon Wrongpurae, there's the bit where the Blade Hunter sleeps for ''days'' without doing anything. Slowbeef goes hysterical.
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/retsupurae-3000-5187175 Retsupurae 3000]]'': 3000]]'' [[labelnote:Part 1 On [=YouTube=]]]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkKphMTAbLM[[/labelnote]]: The RiseOfTheDragon Wrongpurae, there's the bit where the Blade Hunter sleeps for ''days'' without doing anything. Slowbeef goes hysterical.
Changed line(s) 589 (click to see context) from:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[labelnote:*]]actual adventures contain little to no space[[/labelnote]]
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[labelnote:*]]actual adventures contain little to no space[[/labelnote]]space[[/labelnote]] [[labelnote:Part 1 On [=YouTube=]]]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wV56Fs6les[[/labelnote]]
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* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/warning-shinobix-should-not-be-prescribed-to-anyone-anywhere-5563254 Warning: Shinobix should not be prescribed to anyone, anywhere]]'':
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/warning-shinobix-should-not-be-prescribed-to-anyone-anywhere-5563254 Warning: Shinobix should not be prescribed to anyone, anywhere]]'':anywhere]]'': [[labelnote:Part 1 On [=YouTube=]]]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_7ouBbG63U[[/labelnote]]
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* ''[[http://blip.tv/therparchive/retsupurae-the-most-shameful-thing-in-the-world-6286564 The Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]'' Don't watch if you like [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Haruhi.]] You won't after this video.
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* ''[[http://blip.tv/therparchive/retsupurae-the-most-shameful-thing-in-the-world-6286564 ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPtczI94jAY The Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]'' Don't watch if you like [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Haruhi.]] You won't after this video.
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** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MeTOpOjUEI How To ... Uh... Untangle A Tryst? (Part 2) (Ambition Part 5)]]. This is where the series really seemed to have come off the rails. Practically all of the characters make truly bizarre and borderline terrifying faces.
to:
** [[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MeTOpOjUEI How To ... Uh... Untangle A Tryst? (Part 2) (Ambition Part 5)]]. This is where the series really seemed to have come off the rails. Practically all of the characters make truly bizarre and borderline terrifying faces.
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** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDeWIroK4Z8 How To Handle The Police (Ambition Part 13)]]
to:
** [[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDeWIroK4Z8 How To Handle The Police (Ambition Part 13)]]
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* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9VWXIt_v08 Flash vs. Jason]]''. A Friday the 13th fan game starts out genuinely kind of creepy, exploring Camp Crystal Lake...and then Jason shows up.
to:
* ''[[https://www.''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9VWXIt_v08 Flash vs. Jason]]''. A Friday the 13th fan game starts out genuinely kind of creepy, exploring Camp Crystal Lake...and then Jason shows up.
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* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsGOxUhaCLM Metroid Prime: Corrupted]]'', Upon Samus dying, her silhouette features an...interesting design choice.
to:
* ''[[https://www.''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsGOxUhaCLM Metroid Prime: Corrupted]]'', Upon Samus dying, her silhouette features an...interesting design choice.
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* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIudlLzDEy8 Anime Easter Egg Hunt Adventures]]'', their Strahl Wrongpurae. The entire game could be summed up as one BigLippedAlligatorMoment after another.
to:
* ''[[https://www.''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIudlLzDEy8 Anime Easter Egg Hunt Adventures]]'', their Strahl Wrongpurae. The entire game could be summed up as one BigLippedAlligatorMoment after another.
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* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19zjhSmd598 Game of Crones]]'', the play through of ''VideoGame/KingsQuestVII'', featuring LetsPlay/PsychedelicEyeball. They freeze on a hilariously poorly-drawn face the queen makes in the opening cutscene and reuse it throughout. There's quite a bit.
to:
* ''[[https://www.''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19zjhSmd598 Game of Crones]]'', the play through of ''VideoGame/KingsQuestVII'', featuring LetsPlay/PsychedelicEyeball. They freeze on a hilariously poorly-drawn face the queen makes in the opening cutscene and reuse it throughout. There's quite a bit.
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*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtN3pna4uDQ Episode 3]].
to:
*** [[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtN3pna4uDQ Episode 3]].
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*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97qCRd1I1FY Episode 5]] is a 19-second [[HilariousOuttakes Hilarious Outtake]] that continues this joke. Slowbeef [[{{Corpsing}} couldn't make it]].
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBkLZoQG4GA&feature=player_detailpage#t=1753s The nearly four minutes of the mocking bird making snide remarks at Valanice]], eventually Slowbeef and Diabetus make the obvious joke at Jon's expense;
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBkLZoQG4GA&feature=player_detailpage#t=1753s The nearly four minutes of the mocking bird making snide remarks at Valanice]], eventually Slowbeef and Diabetus make the obvious joke at Jon's expense;
to:
*** [[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97qCRd1I1FY Episode 5]] is a 19-second [[HilariousOuttakes Hilarious Outtake]] that continues this joke. Slowbeef [[{{Corpsing}} couldn't make it]].
***[[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBkLZoQG4GA&feature=player_detailpage#t=1753s The nearly four minutes of the mocking bird making snide remarks at Valanice]], eventually Slowbeef and Diabetus make the obvious joke at Jon's expense;
***
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* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JohM4UZkcLg The Ingenious Anime of La Mancha]]'', their Wrongpurae of a...[[MindScrew rather loose interpretation]] of ''DonQuixote'' called SuperDonQuixote.
to:
* ''[[https://www.''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JohM4UZkcLg The Ingenious Anime of La Mancha]]'', their Wrongpurae of a...[[MindScrew rather loose interpretation]] of ''DonQuixote'' called SuperDonQuixote.
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* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqYVojNq0gM Neither Good Noir Interesting]]'', a riff on Cyberdreams' swan song ''Noir: A Shadowy Thriller'', which they quickly find to be neither shadowy nor thrilling.
to:
* ''[[https://www.''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqYVojNq0gM Neither Good Noir Interesting]]'', a riff on Cyberdreams' swan song ''Noir: A Shadowy Thriller'', which they quickly find to be neither shadowy nor thrilling.
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** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AdfFaPwr1M part 6]], the main character sinks a cargo ship ''which he just found to contain uranium.'' They keep pointing out how needlessly dangerous that was towards the harbor.[[note]]A commenter noted that it's probable [[RealityIsUnrealistic the ship would have prevented too much radiation from escaping,]] but it was still pretty reckless.[[/note]]
** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tamLi2NygQ part 10]], Diabetus' video stops playing while slowbeef's continues. The commentary continues for nearly a full minute before either of them notices, highlighting just how little is actually going on.
** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tamLi2NygQ part 10]], Diabetus' video stops playing while slowbeef's continues. The commentary continues for nearly a full minute before either of them notices, highlighting just how little is actually going on.
to:
** In [[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AdfFaPwr1M part 6]], the main character sinks a cargo ship ''which he just found to contain uranium.'' They keep pointing out how needlessly dangerous that was towards the harbor.[[note]]A commenter noted that it's probable [[RealityIsUnrealistic the ship would have prevented too much radiation from escaping,]] but it was still pretty reckless.[[/note]]
** In[[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tamLi2NygQ part 10]], Diabetus' video stops playing while slowbeef's continues. The commentary continues for nearly a full minute before either of them notices, highlighting just how little is actually going on.
** In
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYys5o7vwe4 Crappy Pasta IV]] is based on Franchise/MegaMan's "The Yellow Devil." The author seems to consider blood the most inherently frightening thing ever, to the point of being ignorant that ''robots don't bleed''.
to:
* [[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYys5o7vwe4 Crappy Pasta IV]] is based on Franchise/MegaMan's "The Yellow Devil." The author seems to consider blood the most inherently frightening thing ever, to the point of being ignorant that ''robots don't bleed''.
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* The inevitable result of all of these: ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO9tSJR1Zvc Slowbeef's House of Horror]]'', where slowbeef reads an ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'' creepypasta complete with scarecam and creepy music. "Scary" words highlighted from the story keep popping out, like "lag" and "Download", which soon turn into a DeadpanSnarker with phrases like "Try rebooting your router." and "Part 2: The Haunted End User License Agreement (coming soon!)"
to:
* The inevitable result of all of these: ''[[https://www.''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO9tSJR1Zvc Slowbeef's House of Horror]]'', where slowbeef reads an ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'' creepypasta complete with scarecam and creepy music. "Scary" words highlighted from the story keep popping out, like "lag" and "Download", which soon turn into a DeadpanSnarker with phrases like "Try rebooting your router." and "Part 2: The Haunted End User License Agreement (coming soon!)"
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** In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TSMKMg8bas&feature=g-u-u Retsutalk]] about the video, Diabetus sums up LetsPlay/PewDiePie's style thusly,
to:
** In the [[https://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TSMKMg8bas&feature=g-u-u Retsutalk]] about the video, Diabetus sums up LetsPlay/PewDiePie's style thusly,
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That\'s actually IS an asterisk, though
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* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[note]]actual adventures contain little to no space[[/note]]
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[note]]actual Adventures!]]''[[labelnote:*]]actual adventures contain little to no space[[/note]]space[[/labelnote]]
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hottip cleanup
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* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[hottip:*:actual adventures contain little to no space]]
to:
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[hottip:*:actual Adventures!]]''[[note]]actual adventures contain little to no space]]space[[/note]]
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** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhYDz2jYh-M A Look Into Ancient LP Technology]] [[hottip:*:let's play super mario world 2010 antiquated LP technology not bad but also unnecessary we suck at identifying accents passports will get revoked because of this video]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6vLf8I_2s Coming this fall...]] [[hottip:*:let's play chrono trigger movie preview smarmy jerk head up own ass coming soon anime nerd]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m_2m03DEXo Execute LP Protocol #2: Dash-Da-Dash]] [[hottip:*:let's play dash-da-dash humanity is no longer needed for LP keep diff down]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUvPebGSrl0 Horror! ...No, that's really the game's name.]] [[hottip:*:let's play retsupurae newgrounds horror what the hell is this garbage]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13UXd1xhEo Let's Play... What the hell is this?]] [[hottip:*:what has to be going through your masked friggin head]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lpw3-XgZuw Retsufrash - Arrival in Hell]] [[hottip:*:retsufrash newgrounds arrival in hell prison puzzles with solutions no human mind would think of]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ou5WTZP8eY Rijno and Darknessthecurse review Brave Fencer Musashi]] [[hottip:*:let's play afterglow come on at least line up the camcorder]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC1SzVR5zeo Super Bummerman 2]] [[hottip:*:let's play super bomberman or is it bummerman i'm sorry coach I'll learn to read please let me football]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-K55PfGRk The Unfair Retsupurae]] [[hottip:*:let's play the unfair platformer hard game how are videos like this considered successful]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7dnofuSMNo This is Kokiri Forest [=[citation needed]=]]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda ocarina of time kokiri forest LP 2.0 [=PiP=] whada deku scrub]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwmpd2hjtpE Tower of Horrible Voices]] [[hottip:*:let's play tower of heaven more like hell shut up horrible voice unfunny gimmick worst everything]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmSY3u9CUM You will not make it through this video]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda majora's mask oh my goodness what is that voice you are scaring the children]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6vLf8I_2s Coming this fall...]] [[hottip:*:let's play chrono trigger movie preview smarmy jerk head up own ass coming soon anime nerd]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m_2m03DEXo Execute LP Protocol #2: Dash-Da-Dash]] [[hottip:*:let's play dash-da-dash humanity is no longer needed for LP keep diff down]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUvPebGSrl0 Horror! ...No, that's really the game's name.]] [[hottip:*:let's play retsupurae newgrounds horror what the hell is this garbage]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13UXd1xhEo Let's Play... What the hell is this?]] [[hottip:*:what has to be going through your masked friggin head]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lpw3-XgZuw Retsufrash - Arrival in Hell]] [[hottip:*:retsufrash newgrounds arrival in hell prison puzzles with solutions no human mind would think of]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ou5WTZP8eY Rijno and Darknessthecurse review Brave Fencer Musashi]] [[hottip:*:let's play afterglow come on at least line up the camcorder]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC1SzVR5zeo Super Bummerman 2]] [[hottip:*:let's play super bomberman or is it bummerman i'm sorry coach I'll learn to read please let me football]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-K55PfGRk The Unfair Retsupurae]] [[hottip:*:let's play the unfair platformer hard game how are videos like this considered successful]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7dnofuSMNo This is Kokiri Forest [=[citation needed]=]]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda ocarina of time kokiri forest LP 2.0 [=PiP=] whada deku scrub]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwmpd2hjtpE Tower of Horrible Voices]] [[hottip:*:let's play tower of heaven more like hell shut up horrible voice unfunny gimmick worst everything]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmSY3u9CUM You will not make it through this video]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda majora's mask oh my goodness what is that voice you are scaring the children]]
to:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhYDz2jYh-M A Look Into Ancient LP Technology]] [[hottip:*:let's [[note]]let's play super mario world 2010 antiquated LP technology not bad but also unnecessary we suck at identifying accents passports will get revoked because of this video]]
video[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6vLf8I_2s Coming this fall...]][[hottip:*:let's [[note]]let's play chrono trigger movie preview smarmy jerk head up own ass coming soon anime nerd]]
nerd[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m_2m03DEXo Execute LP Protocol #2: Dash-Da-Dash]][[hottip:*:let's [[note]]let's play dash-da-dash humanity is no longer needed for LP keep diff down]]
down[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUvPebGSrl0 Horror! ...No, that's really the game's name.]][[hottip:*:let's [[note]]let's play retsupurae newgrounds horror what the hell is this garbage]]
garbage[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13UXd1xhEo Let's Play... What the hell is this?]][[hottip:*:what [[note]]what has to be going through your masked friggin head]]
head[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lpw3-XgZuw Retsufrash - Arrival in Hell]] [[hottip:*:retsufrash newgrounds arrival in hell prison puzzles com/watch?v=x1msHeyNn8s The LP is terrible... I hope it doesn't last]] [[note]]let's play charlie and the chocolate factory there is no life know to compare with solutions no human mind would think of]]
pure imagination imagine being dead when watching this garbage video not safe for diabetus[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ou5WTZP8eY Rijno and Darknessthecurse review Brave Fencer Musashi]] [[hottip:*:let's play afterglow come on at least line up the camcorder]]
com/watch?v=7Lpw3-XgZuw Retsufrash - Arrival in Hell]] [[note]]retsufrash newgrounds arrival in hell prison puzzles with solutions no human mind would think of[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC1SzVR5zeo Super Bummerman 2]] [[hottip:*:let's com/watch?v=0Ou5WTZP8eY Rijno and Darknessthecurse review Brave Fencer Musashi]] [[note]]let's play super bomberman or is it bummerman i'm sorry coach I'll learn to read please let me football]]
afterglow come on at least line up the camcorder[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-K55PfGRk The Unfair Retsupurae]] [[hottip:*:let's com/watch?v=OC1SzVR5zeo Super Bummerman 2]] [[note]]let's play the unfair platformer hard game how are videos like this considered successful]]
super bomberman or is it bummerman i'm sorry coach I'll learn to read please let me football[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7dnofuSMNo This is Kokiri Forest [=[citation needed]=]]][[hottip:*:let's [[note]]let's play zelda ocarina of time kokiri forest LP 2.0 [=PiP=] whada deku scrub]]
scrub[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwmpd2hjtpE Tower of Horrible Voices]][[hottip:*:let's [[note]]let's play tower of heaven more like hell shut up horrible voice unfunny gimmick worst everything]]
everything[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-K55PfGRk The Unfair Retsupurae]] [[note]]et's play the unfair platformer hard game how are videos like this considered successful[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmSY3u9CUM You will not make it through this video]][[hottip:*:let's [[note]]let's play zelda majora's mask oh my goodness what is that voice you are scaring the children]]children[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6vLf8I_2s Coming this fall...]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m_2m03DEXo Execute LP Protocol #2: Dash-Da-Dash]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUvPebGSrl0 Horror! ...No, that's really the game's name.]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13UXd1xhEo Let's Play... What the hell is this?]]
** [[http://www.youtube.
** [[http://www.youtube.
** [[http://www.youtube.
** [[http://www.youtube.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7dnofuSMNo This is Kokiri Forest [=[citation needed]=]]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwmpd2hjtpE Tower of Horrible Voices]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-K55PfGRk The Unfair Retsupurae]] [[note]]et's play the unfair platformer hard game how are videos like this considered successful[[/note]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmSY3u9CUM You will not make it through this video]]
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* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W3QIua3BHA Mortal Konversation]][[hottip:*:formerly Press F D F HP: Perform Animationality]]'': their riff on WesternAnimation/MortalKombatTheJourneyBegins in all its poorly-animated glory.
to:
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W3QIua3BHA Mortal Konversation]][[hottip:*:formerly Konversation]][[note]]formerly Press F D F HP: Perform Animationality]]'': Animationality[[/note]]'': their riff on WesternAnimation/MortalKombatTheJourneyBegins in all its poorly-animated glory.
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WebVideo/Retsupurae's very own LetsPlay/{{slowbeef}} and Diabetus has accumulated so many funny moments that it even broke the page that was meant exclusively for their account. This page will instead hold the non-Retsupurae moments.
to:
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Had to split it off as it was getting too big.
Added DiffLines:
WebVideo/Retsupurae's very own LetsPlay/{{slowbeef}} and Diabetus has accumulated so many funny moments that it even broke the page that was meant exclusively for their account. This page will instead hold the non-Retsupurae moments.
The funny moments from their Retsupuraes can be found '''[[Funny/RetsupuraeSlowbeefAndDiabetus here]]'''.
The funny moments in Retsupuraes made by other people can be found '''[[Funny/{{Retsupurae}} here]]'''.
----
!!Examples (in alphabetical order):
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Retsufrashes]]
* The ''Ambition'' series, a spin-off of ''The Negotiator'', provides endless opportunities for hilarity.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IjCBU0daGE How To Disarm A Bomb (Ambition Part 1)]]:
*** The bomber's tendency to pace around the room, with an incredibly loud knocking sound for his footsteps.
*** The 'all of the above' option.
-->'''Cop:''' Hi, my name is Jim. Put your hands in the air! What are you upset about?
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wargc7gt_D0 How To Disarm A Hitchhiker (Ambition Part 2)]]
*** [[OffModel Yale's goofy grin.]] And it won't be the only time it'll pop up again.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usctn5UtRlg How To Apply The DSM V (Ambition Part 3)]]
*** In which you are lectured about human nature by Ted, the psychotic man who was threatening everyone with explosives strapped to his chest for the past two chapters, while trying to correctly diagnose him. [[spoiler:In spite of his behavior, the correct answer is to claim ''he's perfectly sane''.]]
*** His creepy behavior and dialog do lend themselves to [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/56d148aa3d048eb6b2e53bd21e7d4c97/tumblr_mnsdm6aQE61rddyhgo1_500.gif great]] [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/8104b457ffd11477cd9c415c47cd3ab9/tumblr_mns7meK4k51r0t8auo1_1280.png images]], for what it's worth.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee0v0AoC444 How To Untangle A Tryst (Part 1) (Ambition Part 4)]]
*** Ted's escape, wherein [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/91cca44e496bcfb13cf2ba710f9230a3/tumblr_mnsznuBBPR1srt8jjo1_500.gif he pointlessly starts doing parkour on the walls]].
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MeTOpOjUEI How To ... Uh... Untangle A Tryst? (Part 2) (Ambition Part 5)]]. This is where the series really seemed to have come off the rails. Practically all of the characters make truly bizarre and borderline terrifying faces.
*** There's a random moment where a pencil somehow launches itself into the air from Yale's desk, accompanied by a drum roll and cymbal sting when Angie catches it. Yale's reaction causes both goons to completely lose it.
--->'''Yale:''' Wow. Good catch.\\
'''Diabetus:''' That was the se-\\
''[Yale does a goofy grin. Both goons burst into laughter.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' I... There was nothing we could've said to add to that. ''[further laughter following a cross-eyed Angie]'' Are you ''serious''?
*** Special note must be given to the entire scenario with Yale's wife and "you beloved aunt"'s violin. [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext She starts screaming like a velociraptor]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhiElwYQ9sg before beating in the player's head]].
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co-7gTPsJlY How To Solve The Case! (Ambition Part 6)]] In which you're a police officer who's ordered to make an arrest ''in 16 hours'', when real arrests tend to take much, ''much'' longer to occur. (You get 24 after some negotiating with your boss, but nevertheless...)
*** You turn out to be the most narcoleptic policeman on the force, too, requiring a four-hour trip to bed every 12 in-game hours or so, lest you get lost in your own city. This is represented by you ''[[http://24.media.tumblr.com/b0c921e188770342b87db79ca33a544a/tumblr_mnuzsn7Fdd1srt8jjo1_500.gif driving into your bed on the highway]]''.
--->'''slowbeef:''' We're taking another nap?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Watch out!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh God!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Aaaaaah! ''[the main menu appears]'' Oh, that was the ''coziest'' crash ever.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LerSao-2eGE How To Start Interrogating A Suspect (Ambition Part 7)]] gives us, among other funny moments, a review by a user called "ffextreme," who wonders if the creator is related to Creator/MelGibson, because they have the same last name. He says that he liked ''Film/{{Braveheart}}'' and "''Film/{{The Passion|OfTheChrist}}''". Made even funnier by the fact that slowbeef can barely contain himself while reading the review, as well as the Bane impression he does to interpret all caps.
*** During actual gameplay, slowbeef sums up the insanity of the series:
--->'''Bridget:''' You just don't get it, do you? Ted escaped because he was ''allowed'' to escape. Come on, you can do it. Connect the dots. \\
'''slowbeef:''' Could there be a giant conspiracy theory that would force a guy to [[SuicideAttack put a bomb on himself]], [[SuperWindowJump jump out a window]], [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou land in a mattress truck]], hitchhike with the very people that's ''[sic]'' conspiring against him, and then land up in a psychological assessment where it turned out he's [[spoiler:actually sane and]] maybe under this drug Paxwic, which is a drug made for produc[ing] the perfect soldier? I think not! \\
'''Diabetus:''' That's how ''you'' connect the dots?
*** The incredibly creepy "loverboy" at the beginning with the huge overbite is remarkably surreal-looking - even for ''this'' series. In addition, once Bridget spurns him, he stares directly at the player with a surprisingly intimidating (and ridiculously goofy) glare.
*** The opening of the game asserts that Rolf Klink was giving a speech at a right-wing political rally. He immediately goes into a rant about how to rule the populace through "fear"... As it turns out, the party he's giving a speech for? The ''Fascist'' Party. You know, like two ''fondly''-remembered [[UsefulNotes/NaziGermany countries from]] [[UsefulNotes/FascistItaly the 1940s]]...
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2tr_tuwtOA How To Discover The Truth (Ambition Part 8)]]. Two words: [[spoiler:Ted sings.]]
*** Then there's what's ''supposed'' to be [[spoiler:[[WoundedGazelleGambit Bridget pretending to be attacked]]]], but looks like her dancing in place whispering [[spoiler:"HELPHELPHELPHELPHELP"]]. slowbeef and Diabetus are mystified.
*** The option to punch [[TheRival Duke]] in the nose.
*** Near the end, Bridget asks the PC who said that "Facts are the enemy of the truth" and ''mocks him'' if the player doesn't answer "Miguel de Cervantes". The gameplay portion of the video ends with Pinstripe Hourglass using Google to show that [[CriticalResearchFailure the quote is from Dale Wasserman, not Cervantes.]]
*** There's one user review slowbeef finds for Diabetus to do his "screaming voice" for, which essentially is "THANK YOU MICHAEL" over and over again. Made more amusing when you consider slowbeef's real name...
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsPCJO37v6o How To Fix a Broken Marriage (Ambition Part 9)]]. The answer: pastries and 24-karat diamond necklaces that look like they came from ''Webcomic/SweetBroAndHellaJeff''.
*** More specifically, the pastry bit comes out of nowhere in the middle of a ([[{{Narm}} more or less]]) serious discussion. slowbeef's reaction makes it even better.
--->'''Helen:''' Are you suggesting that if I weren't so bitchy and instead acted like a sweet, compliant little wifie, you still would have [had an affair]?\\
'''Yale:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]]\\
'''Helen:''' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Have a pastry.]]\\
''[Yale holds a pastry making the infamous goofy grin; slowbeef starts laughing]''\\
'''Yale:''' Mmm, Helen makes the most sumptuous pastries.\\
''[slowbeef starts laughing harder]''\\
'''Helen:''' Not everyday. If I - [made them every day maybe he wouldn't have cheated on me.]\\
''[the player interrupts Helen]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' (still laughing) I'm gonna stop you here. What the hell are you talking about?\\
'''Diabetus:''' What the hell is going on?\\
''[the player selects "Ask Helen what role food plays in her life."]''\\
'''Yale:''' Food plays a significant role in her life.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[[BigWhat WHAT?!]]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' How?!\\
'''Helen:''' I think the question was addressed to me.\\
'''Yale:''' Then answer it.\\
'''Helen:''' I'm ''trying'' to.\\
'''Yale:''' She makes enormous amounts of food every day which neither of us can eat.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''What does this have to do with -''\\
'''Helen:''' Are you going to let me speak?\\
'''Diabetus:''' I'm just gonna let this play out.\\
'''Yale:''' Of course dear. I'm just allowing you time to [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness formulate your thoughts into a coherent structure.]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''Look at this!''\\
''[Diabetus laughs]''\\
'''Helen:''' Listen to him. How could anyone put up with that?\\
'''Yale:''' We're all still waiting for you to answer the question about what role food plays in your life.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Interrupt. "I'd like a pastry!"
*** Also, players guide the plot in this installment by interrupting them, which greatly amuses the [=RPers=] - especially when, near the end of a failed run, the player is ''prevented from interrupting''.
*** Near the end of the game, Yale claims that "the white man has achieved world domination because he enslaved the black man". A few seconds later, [[{{Hypocrite}} he offers Helen the aforementioned necklace made out of 24k gold and diamonds]], two materials which [[SarcasmMode are in no way related to the exploitation/enslavement of black people]].
*** "Somehow, even though it started out with a guy strapping bombs to his chest and jumping out a window, the central thesis [of the Ambition series] is '[[UnfortunateImplications bitches be crazy]]'".
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDeWIroK4Z8 How To Handle The Police (Ambition Part 13)]]
*** The player gets in a taxi cab, and finds the driver [[spoiler:has been replaced with Duke]]. He calmly asks him why [[spoiler:he's hijacked the cab]], and is met with this response:
--->'''Diabetus:''' [[TemptingFate This seems pretty normal.]]\\
[[spoiler:'''Duke:''' ''[In his usual high-pitched, nasally voice]'']] Because ''I'm a terrorist!''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[incredulous] '''WHAT?!''''' Oh my God...What?!\\
''[The two goons are left in hysterics for a good twenty seconds straight.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''Now'' I'm a terrorist! ''[continues laughing]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh my God...\\
''[The next dialog option tree pops up, with the first option being eight words long and the second being '''ten lines'''.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''Oh my God'', look at these two options! ''[more laughing]'' [[spoiler:Duke]], sit down a minute for option two!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Can we die so we can go back and see that again?\\
''[A police car drives by in the background [[spoiler: with Ted in the back seat]]]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Look, they [[spoiler:caught Ted again!]]\\
''[Another dialog option tree...]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Wait, none of the three options are ''"what the fuck?"''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Because I'm a terrorist!" ''[laughs]'' I'm sorry, let me redo that: ''[mimicking [[spoiler:Duke's nasal voice]]]'' "Because I'm a terrorist! Mooooom!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, God... ''[more chuckling]'' Ugh... You're a terrorist, but you were such a good [[spoiler:marriage counselor]]!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughs]'' He terrorizes [[spoiler:divorce lawyers]]! This is great work [[spoiler:counseling]]!\\
'''Diabetus:''' You know what, I take it back; going through all these parts was ''worth it''!
*** Even better: by sheer coincidence, this exchange begins at 9:11 in the video.
**** The video also ends with [[spoiler:Duke getting kicked in the crotch]]; a scene so hilarious that it's played out twice for the two goons.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyAvcyxBkKY How To Close Out Your Video Game Series (Ambition part 14)]] has [[spoiler:Duke killing the player in front of a mysterious green light as a guitar riff plays.]] The green light shows up several times later, and every time it shows up neither goon can comprehend what it is.
*** Speaking of [[spoiler:Duke]], the animation for [[spoiler:swinging the tire iron]]. slowbeef describes it as "[[spoiler:tire iron, gangster-style]]".
*** Also, [[spoiler:[[TheStinger after the credits]], [[MemeticMutation Helen's scream from episode 5]] pops up again.]]
* ''Ambition Babies'' covers yet another [[Creator/ZapDramatic Michael Gibson]] series, this time focusing on children. For some reason, the player now has a "Persuasion Power" meter that fills when you become more popular with the others. It tends to fill up after particularly negative choices (i.e. mocking a boy's speech impediment), and every time it fills or drains lightning strikes the screen.
** Also, the mouse from ''The Raise'' pops up from time to time to tell the player how they're doing, annoying the [=RPers=].
** Ted returns to the series as a math teacher.
** Perhaps capping everything off is a section near the end of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ku263TRcScQ Part 1]] where a fat girl who had previously {{air guitar}}ed suddenly gains a real guitar and sings about herself, transporting the school into a trippy dimension filled with poorly-animated students. The goons react about how'd you expect.
*** Afterward:
-->'''Ted:''' What are you kids up to?\\
'''Slowbeef:''' I DON'T KNOW!!\\
'''Diabetus:''' "No seriously, what the fuck was that?"
** When given the option to apologize to Dave or simply ignore him and walk away, Pinstripe Hourglass the latter choice, upon which the mouse ''congratulates him.''
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODZuBQ_wJtI Part 2]] cover's the girl's side of Monday, featuring a slumber party treated as SeriousBusiness, Duke Crabtree's reappearance (along with a complete redesign and his twin brother Luke), and the mouse popping up ''during'' the tennis match (not to mention greeting you with [[{{Narm}} "Way to go, girl!"]]).
*** Also, after Kim is left out of the slumber party, a little depressing piano ditty plays, and Janina appears again... though she doesn't sing.
*** A sequence from both gender's storylines has Janina ask you "if you could do anything, what would it be?" There are two "real" answers - sing in a band or go to Paris. Answer with "Go to Paris" and she calls you an idiot for not choosing the band option - [[HypocriticalHumor right before doing a stupid-looking]] AirGuitar bit.
** The third installment has Ted outright saying he doesn't feel like teaching today, and in general saying things that are far too complex for elementary school students to understand. Also, the vice principal punishes you for participating in humiliating another student by ''sending you back in time'' to the beginning of the day, leading to several mentions of TimeTravel in the commentary (and Diabetus asking if your character is named [[Series/DoctorWho "The Doctor"]]).
*** Then, Ted teaches a lesson with four doors: one of which houses an A+, and the other three goats.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prZun-SUu0M Arise: The New Form of Horror]]''
--> '''Diabetus:''' SUP... oh, that says help.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xl3wVH45TQk Arise 2 (2/2)]]''
-->'''''"JOHN MCCAIN, WHY?"'''''
** The RunningGag with Mofunzone's giant login banner.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JWqdwBturk Arise 3]]'' is a 10 minutes TimedMission, therefore Slowbeef [[MotorMouth musttalkreallyfasttogetthroughthegame]], ignoring both the jumpscares and a more and more confused Diabetus' objections, relaxing only for the time it takes to get through a microscope minigame.
** Immediately before the motor mouthing starts, there this excellent example of comedic timing:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Now, Arise 3 introduces a couple of new elements. Not like pop scares, since there's one coming up in about one second. ''[JUMPSCARE]''.
** >.> apparently means "It was greater than nothing, and also it was greater than having your period."
** Slowbeef rushes through the game at such a ridiculous speed that, about six minutes into the video, he triggers a pop scare ''and leaves the screen before it has time to finish''.
-->'''Diabetus:''' [in response to a jump scare consisting of every previous JPEG flashed in rapid succession] He's getting close to the cure! Throw more [=JPEGs=] at him!
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFPCEY_gURs Arise 4]]'', the worst game ever.
** "My .jpeg's! No!" "Well, how do I know that you didn't have to put in 666 backwards?" "But what in the Arise canon made the .jpeg's [[spoiler:lethal]]?" - and the discussion about the mysterious nature of the .jpeg's in general.
** "YOU'RE NOT LOGGED IIIINNNN"
** At one point, slowbeef accidentally tabs out of the game (briefly after [[TemptingFate talking about having done so earlier and losing as a result]]), and makes it back ''just'' in time to save himself. His and Diabetus' reactions to this are priceless.
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/arise-minus-jpegs-let-s-start-the-bidding-at-2-5653720 Arise Minus JPEGs -- Let's Start the Bidding at $2]]'': The RP of ''Lechuza'': their reactions to the protagonist's NightmareFace, the rampant GISSyndrome and Slowbeef's continued lamentation that he ''paid'' for this game. ''Twice'' (for the iPad and the Mac):
-->'''slowbeef:''' ''[at the start of the credits]'' And that's two dollars down the dra...I mean, ''Lechuza''.\\
...\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[On the "Graphics" credits]'' This is kind of bullshit by the way. Like pretty much [[{{Plagiarism}} every art asset in this game was ripped off!]]
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[GISSyndrome Thought just the Google logo would be under the "Graphics" part.]]
** Diabetus being startled by the character's face. ''Three times.''
* The Arrival in Hell Retsufrash is one long string of these, with them mocking the terrible animation and art, the awful voice acting, the rampant typos, and the confusing puzzles.
-->'''Character:''' You have got to be joking!\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[laughing]'' I am! Isn't it funny!\\
'''slowbeef:''' You're in jail!\\
'''Diabetus:''' You killed so many people!
** Any time Diabetus breaks out his 'happy little prisoner' voice.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Hum doo dee doo, whistle while you're in prison!
** At the very end of the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qhdRXS6jic#t=438s Arrival In Hell 2 RF]], slowbeef and Diabetus discover Newgrounds' {{Hentai}} stash:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Let's see... "Users who liked this also enjoyed Meet'N'Fuck Kingdom."\\
'''Both:''' ''[Cracking up]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' That's what they call Newgrounds meetings, where, like, people come to be together in one place.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh g- "Meet'N'Fuck Kingdom!" That's actually the staff meeting that Magda and Kalango got together at. Fucking...\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's, uh, one of the lesser known [[DisneyLand Disney attractions]].\\
'''slowbeef:''' Wait a minute, wait a minute... "[[SuperMarioBrothers Bowser & Peach (Hentai)]]," and, oh look, then there's "[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Dental Appointment]]!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' Well, these guys like to meet 'n' fuck and they like really gross shit but they keep their hygiene.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Right, yeah, you know?\\
'''Diabetus:''' I mean, they're not '''totally''' disgusting.\\
'''slowbeef:''' "I'm gonna do Princess Peach, I'm gonna need some toothpaste."\\
'''Diabetus:''' They like "ProfessorLayton pt. 6"?
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsUihT9hD2s Braidple Story]], which makes fun of an art game that rips off ''VideoGame/TheCompanyOfMyself'' and uses ''VideoGame/MapleStory'' sprites, of all things. It also features the narrator acting increasingly creepy about a girl he likes [[spoiler:(to the point where she tells him to back off at the end)]], and some of the most obtuse and tedious puzzle design in the history of gaming.
** What stands out, though, is the intro, wherein the game's host site (gamesark.com) is advertised with [[MoodWhiplash a happy giraffe surfing on the ark.]] Said giraffe remains in the upper-left corner of the game itself, prompting several goofy voices from Diabetus.
*** The giraffe icon also moves when you move your mouse pointer over it. This is noticeable several times throughout the video, [[spoiler:[[BrickJoke but the RPers only notice it at the end]], and crack up.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4-8nsEPHas Colour My Something]], a riff on [[ColourMySeries Colour My World]]. The flash itself is pretty funny, but what stands out is the end.
-->'''slowbeef:''' In this monochrome world, I will search the depths of the earth and the limitless skies for you. Alternate title - I didn't get you a Valentine's Day present. ''[laughter]'' I see right through you, Silver Stitch!
** When Diabetus reads one of the reviews:
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''[reading a review]'' I feel sad...it was a good game but now I want a girlfriend. Nine out of ten!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[splitting his sides]'' So wait a minute, wait a minute, if he had the girlfriend, would that have gotten him a ten?!\\
'''Diabetus:''' I guess so. 'If my loneliness wasn't crushing my very soul, I would give you a perfect score, sir, but as it stands I can only give you an almost perfect!'
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_9XS3YG-AQ Dead Space (this game has lots of it)]], a riff on a particularly bad ''{{Exmortis}}'' clone.
** At the end, a final JumpScare pops up and actually seems to catch Slowbeef by surprise, before he cracks up.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ7_7BfxrFo Death]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qKBtcWqL7Y Trap]]''
** Slowbeef's continuous incredulity at how utterly un-terrifying the house - made up mostly of stock 3D renderings of fashionably furnished modern rooms - is.
-->'''slowbeef:''' We're serving dinner for six here in the Death Trap!
** "[[DullSurprise My God. I've been missing for days.]]"
*** "Let me go, you motherfucker."
** The fireplace room, full stop. Another 3D rendered room, with a cheesy looping GIF of a fire crudely stuck over the top at the wrong angle and cropped so that the ''bottom'' of the fire leaks over to the ''top'' of the image, accompanied by a very loud crackling noise.
-->''[stunned silence]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Erm... what's wrong with this picture?\\
'''Diabetus:''' The fireplace is a typewriter?
** "Wait... 2006 was only one week long?"
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLo4M1tlpv9ru1RkWcFf2UBH1htR8_uGI6 The Exmortis Trilogy - Why Being a Homeowner Sucks]]'' has many hilarious moments. Constant riffing on the excessive journals (which cause Diabeetus to sincerely suggest Ben Leffler simply become a writer), ''incredibly'' bad pop scares, and confusing puzzles.
** Slowbeef's opening comments on the first Exmortis.
-->'''Slowbeef:''' I actually played this years ago, and I remember it not being too bad, unless...\\
'''Diabetus:''' Unless Leffler Web Design says differently.\\
'''Slowbeef:''' Unless he let me down.\\
''*JumpScare*''\\
'''Slowbeef:''' Okay, well, that's already bad.
** The goons' reaction to an ''incredibly'' long journal (around ''50 pages long'') in ''Exmortis II''.
-->'''slowbeef''': Oh no, another book.\\
'''Diabetus''': ''Oh, for fuck's sake.''\\
''[the longplayer begins to slowly flip through the book]''\\
'''slowbeef''': "I guess I got myself a new diary to use" is the only sentence I read from this whole thing, because, you-- this is almost a ''joke'' how long this is.\\
''[the longplayer flips through the book much more quickly]''\\
'''slowbeef''': Look at this!\\
'''Diabetus''': Wow.\\
'''slowbeef''': ''Look at this!''\\
'''Diabetus''': "You did read the necessary literature before you played ''Exmortis II'', correct?"\\
'''slowbeef''': I had some down time before we could do this video.\\
''[the longplayer finally gets to the last page]''\\
'''slowbeef''': I started reading it, but I was like "this is fucking ridiculous, I can't."
** Slowbeef's repeated troubles with the pronunciation of [[NoPronunciationGuide Lord Vlaew]].
** The third game is being sold for ''$20''. The kicker is that the longplayer ''had to get stoned'' to buy the thing.
** A game of ''{{Simon|SaysMiniGame}}'' is used as part of a trap created by demons in ''Exmortis III''.
** In the third game, Slowbeef and Diabetus point out the ridiculousness of all the ScareChord use, and completely lose it when one happens as the Longplayer draws back some curtains.
** Part 3 of the Exmortis 3 riff features the main character receiving a vision of his house, accompanied by a ScareChord.
-->'''Diabetus:''' You made it this far, but are you ready for ''[shouting]'' '''real estate'''?!
** Part 4 features the final fight with Lord Vlaew where all he does is [[spoiler: throw rocks at the player]], leading to a hurricane of jokes about his actual power.
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9VWXIt_v08 Flash vs. Jason]]''. A Friday the 13th fan game starts out genuinely kind of creepy, exploring Camp Crystal Lake...and then Jason shows up.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Alright. Let's get those glutes, girls!
** The second time Jason shows up, it actually causes Diabetus to choke on what he was drinking at the time.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txIumsCB5t8 French Dip]], their Retsufrash of ''Jack French'', a poorly drawn, badly voice acted "mystery" game with NoEnding. Diabetus and slowbeef have a field day.
** Apparently, one of the people who played the game had some trouble with a certain puzzle...
-->'''Windsong-Springheart:''' The only problem I had was the briefcase code. What the hell is it? If you're gonna have the briefcase, have the code set in so we don't have to go through millions of combinations. Other than that, I really do love your game!
-->*slowbeef and Diabetus laugh*\\
'''slowbeef:''' He just sat there clicking!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Besides having to go through ''thousands of combos''...\\
'''slowbeef:''' (as Windsong) I sat there in the hopes of seeing that Sandra girl's boobs, and I was not disappointed!
* Creator/ZapDramatic[='=]s "How to Get out of Speeding Tickets" and "How to Get a Raise" feature some of the worst advice of all time, but the real gold comes when the latter video goes completely off the rails:
-->'''[[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Talking Mouse]]:''' Psst! There's a woman taking off her clothes behind you!\\
''(player looks behind him to see a woman stripping until she shows a nipple...then morphs into the cop from the speeding ticket video)''\\
'''Cop:''' All right, pervert! You're coming with me!
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay2MIt9ApWY How To Woo The Homeless]], featuring a homeless man who looks to be a walking coal mine and kills you for giving him ''too much'' money. The death animation also features him breaking a bottle over your head, followed by a few extremely confusing and apparently symbolic graphics.
-->'''Diabetus''': Wait, did he go into our ''soul?''
** "How Not To Get Killed At Your Local Pub" features a very bizarre winning animation with [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext the lady that the player talks to and a tape that she puts between her tits]].
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRvBZLQGzwU Inculcation: (n) TOTAL FEAR]]'', a ''very'' poor "horror" game.
** The enemies in the game are very odd. They appear to be in the shape of a human, but filled in with scribbled red lines on a brown background, that seem to move around randomly even when the enemy is standing still (slowbeef even refuses to call it a texture). The animation is also incredibly choppy, to the point where slowbeef has a difficult time telling which animation indicates they're moving, and which indicates they're falling down. The quality of the art is kindergarten-level. Upon seeing one of these enemies for the first time:
-->'''slowbeef and Diabetus''': ''[laughter]''\\
'''slowbeef''': ''Come on! [laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus''': Well, uh...\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[continues laughing]''\\
'''Diabetus''': Did you mean the ''enemy'' was fast, or his ''atoms'' were fast?\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughs harder]''\\
'''slowbeef and Diabetus''': ''[chuckling]''\\
'''slowbeef''': Oh no, it's, it's, it, it's Slender Man's cousin, ''Scribble'' Man!\\
'''Diabetus''': ''[laughter]''\\
'''slowbeef''': Uh...\\
'''Diabetus''': Well ''now'' I can see why you should have the lights off when you play this.\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughter]'' Another recommendation: "Don't really ''look'' at it while you're playing, just keep your eyes unfocused."\\
'''Diabetus''': "We recommend you try not to laugh as you play this horror game."
** At one point, an enemy jumps out of a closet while the player tries to pick a lock with a pin. The goons had fun with the sudden whiplash.
* From [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4SFtIayovY their Retsufrash]] on ''Metroid Elements'': "This Let's Play is brought to you by the letter C!"
** Moreover:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Ask me if [[SequenceBreaking shinesparking]] makes an appearance in this game.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Does shinesparking make an appearance in this game, slowbeef?\\
'''slowbeef:''' LORD, NO!
** The first 20 seconds of gameplay:
-->'''slowbeef:''' WELCOME TO METROID ELEMENTS! ''[Samus falls into an BottomlessPit]'' Oh... there are... OneHitKill pits in here...
** Samus' dying screams:
-->'''slowbeef:''' What did you think of that fight, Samus?\\
''[Samus screams]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' I understand.
* And when you're done with that, follow it up with ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWTWfz4-YBc Metroid; Beginings]]'' [''sic''], in which the duo discovers a candidate for the most ObviousBeta ever. You can hear slowbeef going mad reading the Newgrounds [[FourPointScale reviews]].
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsGOxUhaCLM Metroid Prime: Corrupted]]'', Upon Samus dying, her silhouette features an...interesting design choice.
-->'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughs]'' Why did Samus wear her G-string to the Fulpian Research Institute?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Well, you know, she hasn't done her laundry in a while...
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzPrmc4kVCo Retsufrash is Art]]'': Diabetus' reaction to [[spoiler: the player-character crossing the DespairEventHorizon and committing suicide]].
-->'''Diabetus''': SPRING BREAK! WOO! ALRIGHT! SIGH!
** "Sigh..." "Sigh, sigh..."
** They have a little fun with a moment where text pops up after a certain threshold.
-->''Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming''
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TttcEFhFYdk A Son's Revenge]]'', a little Oedipus-inspired animation. Slowbeef and Diabetus end up seriously creeped out.
** At one point, the son gives his father "pain treatment" - shooting him in the arms. The fact that father [[NoSell barely flinches]] causes this response:
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''*as the father*'' [[YouFightLikeACow You shoot like a fag, son.]]
* The entire retsufrash of TheTrappedTrilogy could count.
** From ''Trapped'':
*** The TitleDrop at the very beginning.
-->'''Character:''' Why do I feel so...trapped?\\
'''Proteus:''' Oh, I see what you did there.\\
'''slowbeef:''' I can't believe they actually did that.
*** The [[MoonLogicPuzzle finger puzzle]]:
-->'''Character:''' Benjamin...Greunbaum? Is that my name?\\
'''slowbeef:''' What are you reading? Look There's a fucking ''finger'' in your wallet!\\
'''Proteus:''' No shit! I mean, like, 'oh, let me read this before I happen to look slightly to my left and notice, A FINGER!'\\
'''Character:''' I noticed a finger in my wallet. That is disgusting!\\
'''Proteus:''' And it's slightly nauseating.\\
...\\
'''Character:''' It was the finger I found in the wallet. It felt heavier than a normal finger.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh, a heavy finger. I know what to do with ''that''. We burn it!\\
'''Character:''' Very interesting. As I burned the skin off the finger, I found a metal piece. The finger was artificial.\\
'''Proteus:''' ''[laughing]'' You-you couldn't just peel the flesh back or something, you had to ''burn flesh''! Was it still bloody, I mean, what?
*** "Why is she pulsating? Why is she fucking pulsating?!"
** From ''Pursuit'':
*** '''''"DABOMB?!"''''' "DABOMB" with a Jesus fish? What the fuck does this even ''mean''?
*** "Did you just ''pocketknife'' through a concrete wall!?"
*** proteus' reaction to a girl being locked INSIDE a car. his mind is so utterly destroyed by such a ridiculous notion that he's reduced to incoherent babbling.
*** Their reaction to the fishing rod puzzle.
-->'''slowbeef''': Let's see...we have a rope. What can we combine that with to make a fishing rod?\\
'''Proteus:''' The banana!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[chuckles]'' Ummm...\\
'''Proteus:''' Is it really the banana? Please tell me it's the banana!\\
'''slowbeef:''' It's the banana!\\
'''Proteus:''' Oh my God! Is it really the banana? \\
'''slowbeef:''' Yeah! ''[combines rope and glue]'' We have a gluey rope and now we're going to glue a banana onto it!\\
'''Proteus:''' Oh my God! We're going to use a banana! You know what strikes me as something we could have used? The ''screwdriver''...that we just threw away for some fuckin' reason.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[Combines "gluey rope" with the banana]'' There, now we've got a-\\
'''Proteus:''' That doesn't even-what the fuck?\\
'''slowbeef:''' Wait, but that's not enough-it's not a fishing rod yet.\\
'''Proteus:''' It certainly is not a fishing rod, I'm not gonna lie.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Now we need to add a pocketknife to it, to make it a real fishing rod.\\
'''Proteus:''' This is the worst fishing rod!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[Combines pocketknife with "gluey banana rope"]'' Look at how it's combined when it's completed now!\\
'''Proteus:''' You're going to get some sort of retard [[VideoGame/CommanderKeen dopefish]] to grab this thing! I mean, what kind of an ''idiot''...\\
'''slowbeef:''' Look at it! ''[uses fishing rod, fish instantly appears in inventory]'' And then we just have a fish!\\
''[The two of them laugh for a few minutes]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Now, I think maybe that might be my favorite part of the series, really, but let's see what the old man says when we feed the cat.\\
'''Old man:''' Why thank you young lady, I have no use for this blowtorch of mine. It's empty, though. Here, take it!\\
''[slowbeef and Proteus erupt into hysterics]''\\
'''Proteus:''' [[BigWhat WHAT?! WHAT?!]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' He gives her...an empty ''blowtorch!!'' ...for a ''fish!!''\\
'''Proteus:''' You know, I was gonna say 'We just used six inventory items to get that fish. It better be a goddamned good reward!' I was not expecting ''that'' as our reward! That was worth it!
** From ''Escape'':
*** "Oh, god. Literally. Oh God."
*** "Oh yeah, I found this very rare, very expensive gold coin. I'm gonna use it to unscrew a toilet lid."
*** The reaction to the sink puzzle and how the room immediately floods.
*** "Let her go, Whitey, you can't have her!" "WHITEY!"
*** The reaction to the [[TwistEnding big]] [[VoodooShark twist]]:
-->'''[=McNeely=]:''' In fact, you are [[spoiler:the leader of Armor Gamsees itself]]!\\
'''Proteus:''' '''''WHAT?!!'''''\\
'''Dialla:''' But... how is that possible?\\
'''Proteus:''' ''Yeah, how IS that even possible?!''
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5QfNv0lhvM Quest for Glory]]'' - As part of the finale of Retsublitz and their 500th video, Diabetus and slowbeef finally take on Meet N'Fuck Kingdom...or more accurately, the people that actually played and reviewed the game. Special guest appearance by [[Manga/SpaceAdventureCobra Rock Knight]]!
-->''"this is my fav meet'n'fuck ever and my cock is huge"''\\
'''slowbeef:''' I can think of ''half'' the information that was necessary for that review.\\
...\\
''"this game made me hard so bad [2.5/5 stars]"''\\
'''Diabetus:''' I mean, does he not ''like'' getting hard? "This game made me hard so bad, '''GODDAMMIT! I HATE BEING HARD!'''"\\
...\\
''"good that is great haha my lptop [sic] is full of cum"''\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''Full? How are you typing that? How is your laptop working?''\\
...\\
''"Boner! I got a boner on every woman and beat it. I LOVE THIS FUCKING GAME!!!"''\\
''"Best Ending! if only it where real life"''
** At the beginning, they discuss the different Meet'N'Fuck games and the genres they belong to. At the end, slowbeef finds one called Meet'N'Fuck Star Mission. His reaction is priceless.
---> '''slowbeef:''' I got [a related game called] "Hentai Bliss [=RPG=] Two" ''and'' "Hentai Bliss [=RPG=]."\\
'''Diabetus:''' I got "Hentai Bliss [=RPG=] Four." ''Four''.
** At [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5QfNv0lhvM#t=21m19s some point]], Diabetus tries to read the next review, but immediately dissolves into laughter with slowbeef before he can continue.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Wrongpuraes]]
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIudlLzDEy8 Anime Easter Egg Hunt Adventures]]'', their Strahl Wrongpurae. The entire game could be summed up as one BigLippedAlligatorMoment after another.
** The duo's constant jokes about the main character's ridiculous pompadour hairstyle.
** The crystals all being in the exact same location.
** The God character's voice experiences an incredible amount of lag.
-->'''God:''' ''(inaudible due to lag, and the goons laughter)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Are you alright...lord?\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(imitating God, and speaking slowly)'' Is this thing on?\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(also imitating God)'' Damn you, religious microphone!\\
'''God:''' ''(says something else, which is also inaudible due to the lag)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' What?\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(laughs)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(as God)'' The 3DO, ladies and gentlemen!\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(as God)'' Please adjust your TV antenna.\\
...\\
'''God:''' ''(inaudible, as usual)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Wha?\\
'''Diabetus:''' God, do you wanna try that again?\\
'''slowbeef:''' God, is this the best audio compression you've got?\\
''(a shot of the protagonist)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(laughs)'' God, do you know a good hairdresser?\\
'''Diabetus:''' And if you do, just e-mail me, don't tell me.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(laughs)''\\
'''Diabetus:''' His e-mails come through one word at a time.
** A goblin moving its legs as though it needs to pee before being killed by the hero.
** The protagonist somehow forming a sword from a light coming from his chest.
-->''(a villain is attempting to stab the player character in his chest, which is glowing for some reason)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Keep away from my glowing heart! ''(the protagonist appears to be pulling something from the light)'' What?\\
''(The protagonist pulls a sword made of light from his chest)''\\
'''Diabetus:''' What? Uh, oh yeah, I forgot I could do that.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh, yeah, that's a power I totally have. That's chest-heart sword.\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's the Strahl, bro!
** The duo's commentary over the part where the protagonist fights a bunch of mirror clones of himself.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rSagGwWTVM Character Assassination - Authorized]]'', their long-awaited ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM'' Wrongpurae. From Samus's [[DullSurprise spiritless voice]] to Adam's [[UnfortunateImplications questionable treatment]] on Samus, this leads to many hilarious moments.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Don't let this game get produced! Shoot everything! Don't give anything a chance to render!\\
'''slowbeef:''' If only.
** Or that time where slowbeef and Diabetus introduce the Bottle Ship, as Ridley and a baby (respectively):
-->'''slowbeef:''' This is Sakamoto fanfiction! [[FanonDiscontinuity None of this happened!]] I'm officially declaring it!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Not in my canon!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Not in my canon!
** Diabetus develops foresight:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh God, how will we save Anthony?\\
'''Diabetus:''' If only grappling was authorized.\\
'''Adam:''' ''[over intercom]'' Samus, use of the Grapple Beam is authorized!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus laugh]''
** Diabetus being impressed and slightly creeped out at how well Slowbeef can imitate the soulless monotone Samus voice. Especially since Diabetus is usually the more monotone of the two.
** Unable to identify a LethalLavaLand boss, they decide it's Ridley's best friend, "Fiery Jeff".
** Constantly riffing on how "Theatre Mode" results in a disjointed mess of unconnected clips. And in Part 4 how it has a flashback with narration to events ''that literally just happened''.
** Whenever the [[BoldInflation BOTTLE SHIP (all in capitals)]] appears in the subtitles, they shout '''"BOTTLE SHIP!!"'''
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/earnest-goes-to-anime-5467989 Earnest Goes to Anime]]'': The ''VideoGame/EarnestEvans'' wrongpurae has the guys (and the watchers) in hysterics after just five minutes of gameplay, thanks to the wonky animation of the main character ("based on ''{{QWOP}}''" according to Diabetus), bizarre and improbable physics, a power up [[PoisonMushroom that puts the character to sleep and nothing else]] and the IndyEscape sequence triggering the wrong way.
--> '''Diabetus:''' Follow that boulder, Indy!
** The fact that it manages to make Diabetus, who is usually completely deadpan with his joke deliveries, almost break out into a laughing fit should be a sign about how silly the game ends up getting.
** All of their reactions to the map screen, in fact: the long pauses where nothing happens visually, the questionable knowledge of geography, the many marked cities that are never visited, the inexplicable refusal of the protagonists to fly their plane over the Atlantic Ocean. Hell, once the first level is done and the map screen comes up:
-->'''slowbeef:''' ...wait a minute, did that happen in ''Maine?'' Look at the map!
** The spinning centrifuge thing that spins Earnest around gets them to declare it the greatest game ever.
** A spinning spike trap at one point inspires a terrific reaction:
-->'''Diabetus:''' I think it's broken! [[TheJetsons Jane, stop this crazy thing!]]
** [[OffModel "Why does my back have tits?"]]
** At one point, they notice a scene showing a boat and a car looks familiar to one from LastAlert:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Oh, it's Last Alert.\\
'''slowbeef:''' I wish Guy Kazama would come in and kill this asshole.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Just blow everything up, please.\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Earnest Evans, no one can get a bitcoin!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "No one can hire my feelings", "Even with bitcoins?"\\
'''slowbeef:''' "I'll have to reevaluate that"
** Followed by a CargoShip of the boat and car.
** One of the bosses, a giant fish, is fought on a featureless wraparound battlefield. As this becomes more and more obvious, their reactions become more amused.
** "This is the worst Comic Con I've ever been to!"
** The destruction of the world.
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[ByThePowerOfGrayskull With the power of bitcoin]], ''I purchase pants!''
** And when discussing on what they should title it:
-->'''Diabetus:''' So can we title this video "[[ErnestPWorrell Earnest Goes to Anime]]"?\\
'''slowbeef:''' We can't title it anything else!
** slowbeef swears that another person he showed the video to, upon seeing Earnest's odd animation, asked "Is he supposed to be ''human''?"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPvRI7FS9KI Evite: Your doom; costume mandatory]]: Slowbeef and Diabetus' onslaught of jokes and puns when the BigBad turns into a crocodile...dragon...fetus...thing.
-->'''Diabetus''': ''{doing a whiny kid's voice}'' I'll attack you with my indigestion! It's gonna hurt! If you just stop kneeling, you big meanie!
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19zjhSmd598 Game of Crones]]'', the play through of ''VideoGame/KingsQuestVII'', featuring LetsPlay/PsychedelicEyeball. They freeze on a hilariously poorly-drawn face the queen makes in the opening cutscene and reuse it throughout. There's quite a bit.
** Psychedelic Eyeball asks if the game was originally released on the [=CDi=] and Diabetus claims that "[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaCDiGames Any second now, Link will talk about getting his stuff]]." One has to wonder if they're aware that yes, the animated cutscenes were done by ''the same company'' that did the infamous Zelda [=CDi=] game cutscenes.
** In Episode 2, slowbeef starts explaining where Valanice fits within the King's Quest royal family... then gets "distracted" and mixes up their genealogy with that of the [[ASongOfIceAndFire Lannisters and the Starks]].
** All of the references to ProtonJon's Notte Luminosa LP when he guest stars.[[labelnote:Explanation:]]ProtonJon, along with a few others, LP'd the Mario ROMHack Notte Luminosa because its creator claimed to suffer from leukemia and have only a few weeks to live and it was his dying wish that it'd be [=LPed=]. Turns out the guy had made all of this up.[[/labelnote]]
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtN3pna4uDQ Episode 3]].
--->'''slowbeef''': Play the video in 3... 2... 1... and play. ''[video starts]'' So fake cancer, you fell for that, really?\\
'''ProtonJon''': ''Oh for fuck's sake!''
*** The video description for Episode 4 reads "ProtonJon decided to guest in this video [[NeverLiveItDown after he found out the King's Quest franchise didn't have much time left to live]]."
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97qCRd1I1FY Episode 5]] is a 19-second [[HilariousOuttakes Hilarious Outtake]] that continues this joke. Slowbeef [[{{Corpsing}} couldn't make it]].
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBkLZoQG4GA&feature=player_detailpage#t=1753s The nearly four minutes of the mocking bird making snide remarks at Valanice]], eventually Slowbeef and Diabetus make the obvious joke at Jon's expense;
---> '''Slowbeef''': *as the mocking bird* If you were a let's player I'd fake cancer so you'd do my Mario Romhack.\\
'''Jon''': GOD DAMMIT, we ''almost'' made it.
** Episode 7 features them slowly losing their sanity at how slow and boring the game is, resulting in them simply imitating [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Bane]] for nearly the entire second half of the video. And near the end, they lose it when [[spoiler: Valanice quickly fills up a river and makes a rainbow appear without having to cry a lot]].
*** At one point, slowbeef [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation theorizes]] that Kuroinokaze is actually a LetsPlay/PewDiePie fan who longplayed King's Quest VII as his form of revenge.
* ''VideoGame/{{Harvester}}: A Darkseed-Like'':
** The entire conversation with Mr. Johnson in Part 2.
** In part 8, slowbeef's wife walks in on the recording. During the sex scene.
** The conversation after Steve tells Stephanie that Mr. Pottsdam ''kidnapped and raped a child'':
-->'''Stephanie:''' Oh, Christ... and all this time I've been under the same roof with that...that thing...watching me!\\
'''Steve:''' Take it easy, okay?\\
'''Stephanie:''' So...at least they'll be coming to take him away, wont they?\\
'''The Only Dialog Option:''' BYE
** Part 9 starts off with the infamous [[EyeScream baby scene]]. Even the normally imperturbable Diabetus is speechless.
-->'''Slowbeef:''' Harvester! So let me just ask you, ''did you see that coming?'' Because I forgot all the fuck about that.\\
'''Diabetus:''' How could you forget ''that''?\\
'''slowbeef:''' There's a lot that goes on in this game. I'll just put it that way.
* Episode three of ''[[VideoGame/IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream I Have No Idea, But I Must Play]]'' has the two playing Nimdok's scenario... while Diabetus [[ComicallyMissingThePoint pretends to have no idea of what the setting actually is,]] and Slowbeef tries to distract him from figuring it out. [[spoiler:He nearly gets it at the nineteen minute mark, but Slowbeef turns his attention to an inflatable cat.]]
--> '''slowbeef:''' Do you think any German people watching this are upset with my fake accent?\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's controversial.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Well it's [[IncrediblyLamePun not, see.]] [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud I mean it isn't, y'know.]]
** Episode six gives us this CallBack:
---> '''Gorrister:''' Death. This place smells like death. I've smelled it a thousand times the past 109 years.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(mimicking Gorrister's voice)'' This is like a whole ''[[VideoGame/{{Darkseed}} hall ]]''[[VideoGame/{{Darkseed}} of it]].
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JohM4UZkcLg The Ingenious Anime of La Mancha]]'', their Wrongpurae of a...[[MindScrew rather loose interpretation]] of ''DonQuixote'' called SuperDonQuixote.
** The [[EstablishingSeriesMoment establishing moment of the game]]:
--->'''slowbeef:''' Umm...are you a well-read person, Diabetus?\\
'''Diabetus:''' I'd like to think so.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Have you ever read ''The Tale of Don Quixote?''\\
'''Diabetus:''' I've not read it, but I'm a little familiar with the legend.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Well, we're going to be seeing it now.\\
''(The game shows a princess being carried away by a flying green gargoyle creature)''\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[SarcasmMode Yeah, this looks pretty true to it so far]].\\
'''slowbeef:''' Yeah, the lizard, flying goat.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Yeah, the flying gargoyle...thing and Don Quixote was a blonde white dude. ''(The game shows a [[Disney/SleepingBeauty Maleficent]] expy)'' And that's Sancho Panza.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(laughs, as the game shows Don Quixote fighting [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext rocket-powered totems]])'' And that's the rocket totem.\\
'''Diabetus:''' That's the author doing a self-insert, clearly.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2ocE19YWhs Jack Slate's First Day on the Force]]'' is twenty minutes of pure hilarity as the Retsupurae duo mock every last thing about ''VideoGame/CrimePatrol''.
-->''[an undercover cop shoots the bags of cocaine in a drug deal he and the player stopped]''\\
'''slowbeef and Diabetus''': ''[laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus''': Is that how that... that works now?\\
'''slowbeef''': ''You just destroyed the evidence!''\\
'''Diabetus''': ''[chuckle]'' '''"I fuckin' hate COCAINE!"'''\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughter]'' There isn't anything left to prosecute with!\\
'''Diabetus''': He didn't even read the cocaine its rights.\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughter]''
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/journey-to-the-exit-of-the-arcade-5531176 Journey to the Exit of the Arcade]]'' is full of hilarious lines, but about halfway through wherein they start ''mocking the raptors'' is pure comedy gold.
** The duo keeps giving raptors [[Funny/{{Slowbeef}} the Ridley voice]].
-->'''Diabetus:''' Are we in a parking lot or falling down an elevator shaft?\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think we're in a server room now.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Powered by ''dinosaurs?'' Are they running on a little gerbil wheel to power every... electricity?\\
'''slowbeef:''' It's UNIX! They know this! ''[in Ridley voice]'' "First we learn the doors, then we learn command-line scriptin'! ''[[KilledMidSentence AAGH!]]''"\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[also in Ridley voice]'' "PC gamin'! Aagh!"\\
''[short pause as the two chuckle]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in Ridley voice]'' "Macbook? Fuck that! ''Aagh!''"
** When they encounter the giant boulder.
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[ContinuityNod Oh, it's that thing from]] ''[[ContinuityNod Earnest Evans]]''.\\
''[slowbeef starts laughing]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' It will never stop. ''It can travel in time.''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh my God, wait, you realize what that means? We're in Maine!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, ''no!'' That explains everything! No wonder everyone wants to leave.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in Ridley voice]'' "[[Creator/StephenKing You guys read my new novel?]] Aagh!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[laughs]'' Is that the boulder talking?\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughs]'' No, that was the raptor that we shot. He was just really quick; you couldn't see him.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, I thought the boulder was just very literary.
** Immediately after the boulder, the Ridley voice becomes HilariousInHindsight as the vehicle falls off a bridge and the player has to shoot at [[AcrophobicBird falling pterodactyls]].
** Their confusion at the T-Rex's illogical behavior once the vehicle comes to a stop.
** Slowbeef realizing he had been saying "Stegosaurus" rather than "Triceratops" the whole episode.
-->'''slowbeef:''' Well, they're never gonna let me live that one down. I might as well quit like LetsPlay/BillyMC.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z7QnaYiY8w&feature=g-all-u&context=G22b69c4FAAAAAAAACAA King's Quest V: Absinthe makes the game more tolerable]] makes the duo imagine the story of [[VideoGame/KingsQuestVAbsenceMakesTheHeartGoYonder the game]] being told by a grumpy and absent-minded grandfather to his nephew, who is quick to pounce on plot holes and questionable game design choices.
** Their reaction to [[BearsAreBadNews the bear]] [[HaveANiceDeath death]], and Kuroinokaze (the original recorder) anticipating many game overs with an inherently funny save file title.
** In session 2, part 4/5, all the hilarity suddenly hits, back-to-back, for a solid minute and fifteen seconds straight. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQawNTREVFU It all starts with Cedric's abrupt capture by a wolf...]]
*** slowbeef and Kuroinokaze end up having [[BigYes the same reaction]] to Cedric's abduction.
** Diabetus' foresight strikes again when he successfully guesses [[GuideDangIt the infamous way to defeat the yeti.]] "[[BigYes YES!]] I'm a master of King's Quest!"
** The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Rz9gb8sNn70#t=2502s final battle]]
** They constantly make jokes about King Graham being a bodybuilding fanatic due to his physique.
** Every reaction to the [[MostAnnoyingSound town music]]. They joke that the [=LPer=]'s repeated visits to the town are deliberate attempts to kill them.
*** And then at the end, Kurinokaze (the longplayer), apparently being a fan of retsupurae, shows them an alternate ending of what happens if you don't save a certain character during the final battle, King Graham dies pretty quickly, then over the game over screen, he edits in a [[NightmareFuel disjointed, evil carnival sounding remix of the town theme.]] The two react about how you would expect them to.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkpKaFOgyoc Let's Play IMDB]]'': slowbeef and Diabetus riff on a longplay of the Playstation game ''Apocalypse'', a game whose only apparent selling point is Bruce Willis starring. This promps them to spend 15 minutes going down Willis' IMDB page to come up with a HurricaneOfPuns involving the titles of every single thing Bruce Willis has ever worked on on any capacity. HilarityEnsues (mostly of the SoUnfunnyItsFunny variety)
** Eventually they run out of Bruce Willis stuff and just start using ''random movie and TV show titles''. '''''[[OverlyLongGag For the rest of the video.]]'''''
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-long-look-at-last-alert-5025355 Let's Take a Long Look at Last Alert]]'': The hour-and-a-half long RP of a commentary-free longplay of LastAlert by slowbeef and Diabetus is rife with the stuff, as should be expected by anyone who knows of the game. Especially their reaction to boss conversations.
** When the hero confronts the president's kidnapper:
-->'''Boss:''' The President is an important guest for us too, you know. I can't let him go.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[imitating the boss]'' I love him.\\
'''Guy Kazama:''' ''[through gritted teeth]'' [[HoYay That makes me want to get him back]] [[LargeHam even more!]]\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus erupt into laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Is this some weird love triangle that we stepped in?
** When the hero meets Blue:
-->'''Blue:''' This river's gonna turn red with your blood!\\
'''Guy Kazama:''' How interesting. But it's going to be ''your'' blood, not mine!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus crack up]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Good comeback, general!\\
'''Diabetus:''' You're a general, a general of wordplay perhaps!
** Or when the hero approaches the BigBad which offers a WeCanRuleTogether speech:
-->'''Guy Kazama:''' Garcia, ''nobody'' can hire my feelings!!!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus collapse into laughter again]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[BigWhat WHAT???]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' That's the line of the game for me, I think.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Alright, uh... I'm gonna put my feelings on eBay and see what happens!\\
'''slowbeef:''' I'm gonna go on freelancer.org for my feelings! ''[laughter]''
** All their reactions to the bizarre idiosyncratic rank titles such as "Metal Soldier", "Tank Buster", and "Corporal".
*** [[spoiler:MARSHAL ARTIST.]]
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-sidelong-stare-at-star-strike-5123008 Let's Take A Sidelong Stare At Star Strike]]'': Sci-Fi cheese at its greatest.
** Not to mention the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1QrCrx6IIg video]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlqvOCMRgNg remixes]] it spawned.
* [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-5908537 Mortal Kombat Mythologies:]] [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-part-2-2-5910644 Sub Par]], the longplay video for VideoGame/MortalKombatMythologiesSubZero.
** The beginning of the wind level where Sub-Zero humorously defeats a {{Mook}} (described as Baraka minus the teeth).
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''[imitating the Mook]'' My guardpost is lonely-Ahh!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Only 8 experience for that combo? Bullshit!\\
''[Sub-Zero pushes the frozen Mook off a platform and the goons crack up]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Thank you, [=RickyC=]!
** When the player makes it to the bridge level, the robot bridge guards keep getting less original and more ridiculous. As they ponder what weapon the last one will have, the player finally approaches [[spoiler:a humanoid guard riding a fire breathing Tyrannosaurus Rex]]. Needless to say, the duo were shocked.
-->'''Diabetus:''' You know what sucks, though? After you beat this [[spoiler:dinosaur]], you have to fight one that [[spoiler:breathes]] Gatling gun bullets.\\
'''slowbeef:''' You know what sucks is how the hell do you top this? What could the next boss possibly be?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Make the game fun. That would top this!
** Diabetus discusses the "[[PaletteSwap originality]]" of the characters with slowbeef, who then lists off '''[[TheLongList every single clone in the series]]'''. Made even funnier by the fact that he didn't even mention [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg Ermac]] until later in the video.
** The particularly confusing endgame - as Sub-Zero gets Quan Chi's health down, [[spoiler:Sareena (one of the three demon girls from earlier) rushes in and punches him into a pit.]] Then [[spoiler:Shinnok]] shows up as the TrueFinalBoss, and after Sub-Zero gets the amulet back from him [[spoiler:he goes OneWingedAngel into a strange, poorly-rendered dinosaur-thing.]] The goons' reactions are only made funnier by the longplayer [[spoiler:[[EleventhHourSuperpower spamming the previously-unseen]] SmartBomb move.]]
-->'''slowbeef:''' That amulet was the only thing keeping me from looking stupid!
** Immediately afterwards, Sub-Zero runs through the portal and falls flat on his face, capping off the scene.
--> '''Diabetus:''' Sub-Zero, you klutz!
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqYVojNq0gM Neither Good Noir Interesting]]'', a riff on Cyberdreams' swan song ''Noir: A Shadowy Thriller'', which they quickly find to be neither shadowy nor thrilling.
** The main character's ability to solve crime is questionable, as it mostly consists of sneaking into a place he receives a tip about, rummaging through garbage, and leaving once he has enough evidence, without any indication that he actually accomplished anything.
** Their very quick annoyance at the fact that almost everything that happens is accompanied by a ScareChord or some other kind of dramatic musical sting, including any time you open a drawer or look into a bedroom to see dirty clothes.
** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AdfFaPwr1M part 6]], the main character sinks a cargo ship ''which he just found to contain uranium.'' They keep pointing out how needlessly dangerous that was towards the harbor.[[note]]A commenter noted that it's probable [[RealityIsUnrealistic the ship would have prevented too much radiation from escaping,]] but it was still pretty reckless.[[/note]]
** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tamLi2NygQ part 10]], Diabetus' video stops playing while slowbeef's continues. The commentary continues for nearly a full minute before either of them notices, highlighting just how little is actually going on.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGkDoYQdzxc Open House Hero]]'', an inestimably dull 'survival horror' FMV game that attempts to make ''VideoGame/GuitarHero'' mechanics into a horror game. It...doesn't work.
** The actress' laughably terrible acting generates quite a few laughs.
** The death reel at the end, with every death featuring the same ScareChord and StockScream, with no effort made to match up the scream with the actress' lip movements.
*** In the first death scene, she's clearly trying very hard not to [[{{Corpsing}} corpse]].
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4XZXJE20-k Photography Killer]]'': The killer running. Full stop.
** Even more amusing when [[http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n228/freezing_ice_kirby/Run2.gif juxtaposed]] with ''VideoGame/{{Darkseed}} II[='=]''s intro.
** At one point, we get a confusing scene where the killer apparently talks to his split personality...or something.
-->'''slowbeef:''' I think the game is more psycho than the killer!
** slowbeef's bewilderment at the credits:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh go fuck yourself! KEY GRIP? ENGINEER?\\
'''Diabetus:''' CHIEF engineer? "And I was 1st lieutenant!"\\
'''slowbeef:''' RESEARCH CONSULTANT? "How hard do I have to hit a man with a stick for him to die?"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "Hey Chief Research Consultant! Weather normally changes like this, right?"
** The death reel introduces us to the killer's penchant for hideous one-liners and bizarre facial expressions.
-->'''Killer:''' Hang up...''forever''.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Hang up, forever? Seriously? Shut the fuck up.\\
---\\
'''Killer:''' ''PREPARE TO DIEEE!''\\
(the killer spins around the main character, with the last shot being his goofy facial expression and arms flung out to the side)\\
'''slowbeef (laughing):''' That's the final thing you saw before you died.\\
'''Diabetus (imitating the killer):''' Either die or ''dance with me!''
* ''Real Estate Headaches'': The VideoGame/DarkSeed wrongpurae, where every new room Mike Dawson enters in his newly-purchased house just increases their incredulity as to why anyone would actually buy this moldering money pit.
-->'''slowbeef:''' ''[as Mike]'' "Yeah, it's roomy, and I like the way the air just flows into the attic through the open windows, that are broken!"
** "At least the lawn doesn't need mowing."
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V48J035WitQ Resident Seavil]]'', a longplay of SegaSaturn title ''VideoGame/DeepFear'', almost doesn't ''need'' Retsupurae's commentary, with its [[SoBadItsGood terrible yet amusing voice acting]] and the characters' awkward facial expressions. It does help make the game even more hilarious, though, particularly during the lengthy down times.
** The near ''reverence'' the goons hold for the repeatedly-used elevator FMV can get rather amusing by the third video in. Even more amusing when slowbeef starts getting tired of it by five videos in.
** Slowbeef and Diabetus have a lot of fun with how everyone brushes off the monsters appearing early in the game, not knowing ''why'' everyone's taking it in stride. Then, between parts 1 and 2, a viewer points out that the game had an April Fools' prank at the very beginning, and ''that'' was the reason - since it's April Fools' Day, John's superiors think he's pulling a prank of his own. The two goons proceed to have a lot ''more'' fun with this flimsy explanation.
** The various AlternateCharacterInterpretations the two come up with:
*** John Mayor is a baby-faced goofball who loves catching things, but [[spoiler:given the late-game body count, couldn't save even ''a Word document'' if his life depended on it]].
*** Mooky, your sidekick early in the game, has a terrible knowledge of sports despite being obsessed with them (based off of a comment about "the Yankees of '96"). They're so enamored with the character that they keep mimicking him [[spoiler:''well'' after he's killed early on]].
*** Anna, a buff black woman in the apartment complex, immediately becomes a MemeticBadass.
*** Clansy [sic], the head of the Big Table, is revealed in part 4 to have [[spoiler:accidentally blown up a civilian cruise ship during a Navy mission (or intentionally, it's rather vague), starting off a war,]] in a very off-hand remark he makes. He's ''immediately'' considered by the two to be [[spoiler:anywhere between the game's BigBad, the most irredeemable character in the game]]. The best part? He thinks ''he's'' the victim. This completely derails the commentary between jabs at Clansy and debilitating laughter from Slowbeef.
--->'''Diabetus (as Clansy):''' "I mean, I ''said'' "Oops"!"
** John's haphazard catching of a keycard elicts quite a few laughs from the duo.
** The duo discover a gold mine of comedy when John is sent on a FetchQuest for... a gum-gun. Even the way it ''sounds'' is hilarious.
--->'''Slowbeef''': So, are we thinking one monster or two here?
--->'''Diabetus''': I'm thinking gum-gun.
** ''Everything'' involving the Big Jim underwater suit. To start with, slowbeef misreads the "Big Jim Parts" room as "Big Jim Pa'''n'''ts" (which the two run with later on). Then, John finally gets to ''use'' the suit in part 6... with almost no animation to speak of (movement is done by floating the model up a bit and tilting forward), and the slowest movement imaginable. The two are quick to assign what they call an "[[Franchise/WinnieThePooh Eeyore voice]]" to his underwater escapades.
** Later, John fights a mutated cow that gets stuck in the wall almost as soon as the battle starts, and appears to deflate when it dies. The goons were amused by how goofy the battle was.
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/retsupurae-3000-5187175 Retsupurae 3000]]'': The RiseOfTheDragon Wrongpurae, there's the bit where the Blade Hunter sleeps for ''days'' without doing anything. Slowbeef goes hysterical.
-->'''slowbeef:''' It took an hour to get here, but it was fuckin' worth it. This game is wonderful.
** What makes that truly hilarious is that this is his immediate response to finding out that [[spoiler:his girlfriend has been kidnapped by the villains]].
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[hottip:*:actual adventures contain little to no space]]
** In part 2/7, chuckles are had over the fact that Cobra's freaked by what appear to be ''caterpillars''.
---> "Get Mike Dawson here, this guy's too much of a pussy!"
*** Cobra's reaction to the caterpillars makes it even better.
--->'''slowbeef:''' "What am I, a scaredy-cat? Yup, you know it pal!" ''[laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' This is our hero, really?
** Their reaction to the BigLippedAlligatorMoment band in the ruins (2/7), and turning almost immediately "Rock Knight" into a MemeticBadass and wishing they could play as him instead of Cobra, so much that when in 6/7 [[spoiler: Rock Knight is seemingly killed offscreen]] Slowbeef immediately declares it non-canon.
** The lengthy Crazy Joe escape sequence (straddling 3/7 and 4/7), consisting of a stupidly large number of Go On/Go Back messages on a black background, followed by what can only be described as RandomEncounters. [[spoiler:FIRE DRAGON! Wolf wheels! The Deathball!]] The two brainstorm their own enemy ideas, and point out how the strategy for every battle is the exact same, as is the dialogue afterward.
** As Cobra escapes from prison (5/7), a loud alarm repeatedly sounds (and cuts off for no reason), which instantly annoys the viewers. But then the villains discover the escape and, while the original alarm is still going, the man in charge yells "Sound the alarm!" This results in two alarms at the same time. They crack up.
** Their reaction to a YouHaveFailedMe scene that somehow manages to ignore the fact that it takes place inside a falling building that should be colliding with the ground any second.
-->''[Crystal Boy kills Schultz and his two guards]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' ...And crash!
** Their reaction to Cobra's rescue of Kathy, where [[spoiler:he kills a man by shooting a missile next to him]].
*** Cobra asks Kathy about the treasure:
-->'''Kathy:''' Treasure? There's no treasure. Father told us he found something really horrible!\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's called Cobra: Space Adventure!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughter]''
*** On the subject of Kathy, Cobra [[spoiler:mourning her corpse]]:
-->'''Cobra:''' Sleep well, my sweet child.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughter]'' Cobra! Cobra, you don't know who she is! This is so inappropriate!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Sleep well, my soulmate.
** Tarbeige deflecting Cobra's shot, resulting in [[spoiler:Duck's head exploding]]. Slowbeef loses it.
** This exchange during the battle at the temple (6/7).
--> '''[[AccidentalInnuendo The Fister]]:''' ...You can carry my name with you 'til the end of time: [[FailOSuckyname Hammerbolt Joe]]!
--> ''[slowbeef laughs]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' I'm, erm, very sorry to hear that.\\
'''slowbeef:''' God, of all the things that his name could've been, I am the happiest that that was it.\\
'''The Fister:''' [[BigWhat What?]]\\
''[Statue rises]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "THAT'S THE DUMBEST GODDAMNED NAME I'VE EVER HEARD!"\\
'''slowbeef:''' "ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S WOKEN ME UP FROM MY SLUMBRER!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "ONLY SOMEONE SO STUPID COULD AWAKEN ME."\\
'''slowbeef:''' "ARE YOU EVEN NOTICING ME? I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!"\\
''[Statue does pose similar to Music/{{Beyonce}}'s 'Single Ladies' stance]''\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus laugh hard]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[wacky clown laugh]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "[[SassyBlackWoman Oh, no you di'n't, girlfriend!]]"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "I don't think so!"\\
'''slowbeef:''': "Hammerbolt Joe, I don't think so! Look at this giant [foot]."\\
'''Diabetus:''' "I would triple-snap yo ass if I had adequate frames!"
** Cobra's 'eulogy' and subsequent actions for [[spoiler:Jane]] (6/7).
--> '''Cobra:''' I'm sorry, [[spoiler:Jane]]. We won't be seeing each other again.\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus laugh]''\\
'''Cobra:''' You'll be going onto the reward you deserve, but it's not a place where I'll be welcome.\\
'''slowbeef:''' The finest eulogy for [[spoiler:Jane]]!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Standing ovation.\\
'''Both:''' ''[{{slow clap}}]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[TemptingFate And that's it.]]\\
''[Cobra poses dramatically]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "I PART THE OCEAN TO BURY [[spoiler:JANE]]!"\\
'''Cobra:''' There's no hope left for me. May the powers of Hell now be set free!\\
'''Both:''' What?\\
'''Diabetus:''' '''Excuse''' me?\\
'''Cobra:''' May all the grief that exists in my body... Gather strength and focus on this assault!\\
'''slowbeef:''' What are you, summoning [[CthulhuMythos Cthulhu]]?!\\
'''Diabetus:''' That is the most awkward 21-gun salute.\\
'''Cobra:''' RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Oh! I'm sorry, you wanted me to play Chopin. My bad!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "[[AC:AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH MY MIGRAINE IS STILL BOTHERING ME!]]"\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh my God, you're right! He is doing a 21-gun salute... Wait, ''what''?\\
'''Diabetus:''' "Anyway, that's over with."\\
''[Doctor Light shows up]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "And now I'm here."\\
'''Diabetus:''' Wah. Woah. "Cobra, that was terrible."\\
'''slowbeef:''' *Laughs* "That was the most disrespectful thing I've ever seen!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "Seriously, what was that grunt thing that you did?"
** Everything they have to say about the name, existence and logistics of [[spoiler:Neon Big Bird]]. It receives the Ridley voice ''immediately''.
** In 7/7, Parrot Grass [[spoiler:the spy]], and all the speculation afterwards. "MY NAME IS-" [[KilledMidSentence *BOOM*]]
*** The entirety of TheReveal qualifies, with perfect comedic timing on the parts of the Retsupuraers. The {{Narm}}ful PreAssKickingOneLiner from Cobra, the UnEvilLaugh that becomes an OverlyLongGag without quite becoming tiresome, the {{Sting}} out of nowhere, and [[spoiler:the OneWingedAngel form that lasts just long enough to get a reaction]].
** The final confrontation with Crystal Boy (also 7/7), especially how it ends.
-->'''Diabetus:''' I didn't think ''[[RocketPunch that]]'' would work.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Fuck this game!
** "I'm pretty smug about it being three o'clock."
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZAWAqyjedo Spewgen]]'' and ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuCT7CuEIz0 3DO: Fatality]]'', two riffs on ''[[VideoGame/ShadowWarOfSuccession Shadow: War of Succession]]'', a low-budget ''VideoGame/MortalKombat'' knockoff for the [[ThreeDOInteractiveMultiplayer 3DO]]. The first video is a playthrough that ends early because, as explained in the comments, the game froze before the final fight. The second is simply a pair of match videos with commentary. This does not stop either one of the Retsupurae videos from being hilarious. Highlights include:
** The poorly-rendered intro sequence in which a man is assassinated with an ''[[NoKillLikeOverkill attack helicopter]]'' [[FailedASpotCheck without anyone else noticing]].
** The duo's reactions to the ''character select screen''.
** Carlos and Sasha's intro speeches, which cause both riffers to [[{{Corpsing}} burst into laughter]].
** The riffs on Sasha's dizzy animation, where she simply nods her head over and over.
** The ridiculous announcer voice whenever it yells "FIGHT!" gets several laughs. They can't decide whether it's a talking dog, a guy trying to clear his throat, or a robot made out of a rusty battleship.
** The match between Gabriella and Viper, which devolves into Gabriella spamming her ducking kick over and over.
** Erika's [[ShoutOut shout out]] to [[Film/ThePrincessBride The Princess Bride]] elicits a comment that sums up the game.
-->'''Diabetus:''' It's fitting because this game is inconceivable.
* ''Terrible Sequel Headaches'': The ''[[VideoGame/DarkSeed DarkSeed 2]]'' wrongpurae replaces bad housing with Mike Dawson suddenly becoming the most pathetic person on Earth.
--> '''Mike:''' I don't want to touch this crate. I'd probably get a splinter or a spider bite.\\
'''Diabetus:''' A splinter ''or'' a spider bite.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh my god. ''What a pussy.'' I don't think I've ever seen a nancier video game character than this. I am including [[AmericansHateTingle Tingle]] in that estimation.
** Mike's second visit to the hall of death results in this astute observation:
-->'''Mike Dawson:''' Oh no, not the hall of death again! The only way out of here is death!
** And [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BINXO02RZTY ring toss]].
** The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtrMka0WBKs&t=1m50s epic climax]] of VideoGame/DarkSeed 2: [[spoiler:Mike's mother's head exploding.]] Slowbeef, who knows it's coming, can hardly contain himself in anticipation. Diabetus, who is unaware of it, completely loses it for a minute straight. As Slowbeef says, that makes the last 6 hours of agony all worth it. (It was also part of his reason to keep Diabetus from spoiling any parts before they started the recordings.)
-->'''Mike's Mother:''' Here, Mike. [[BlatantLies This will explain]] ''[[BlatantLies everything]]''[[BlatantLies .]]
** A while earlier, [[spoiler:Mike uses [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext the Dark World magnetic crossbow to rig the ringtoss game]], throws the ring... and misses again because Slowbeef [[OrwellianEditor deliberately spliced in the footage]] [[YankTheDogsChain just to deny Mike Dawson victory]]]]. Watch it [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlsPXh4L8AE#t=2m48s here.]]
** The recurring issues with the longplayer, who constantly goes out of his way to engage in pointless conversations and stare at scenery for no real reason.
-->'''slowbeef:''' Fuck you, longplayer! You're just doing this to fuck with us!
** This comes to a head when, just before [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-oXUOWxOmY the final puzzle]], [[TemptingFate Slowbeef claims that the longplayer is now forced on a linear path to the end]]... ''and he manages to go somewhere else anyway.''
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[PromiseMeYouWontX You promised me!]]
-->'''slowbeef:''' [[CassandraTruth I thought... he didn't...]]
-->'''Diabetus:''' DAWSON!
-->'''slowbeef:''' He's going to let humanity die through thoroughness!
** After you reach the DarkWorld through the mirror maze for the first time, [[AntiFrustrationFeatures you unlock the ability to access the Dark World through the world map]]. The longplayer never realizes this, and consequently goes through the mirror maze every single time he wants to go between worlds. Eventually, after almost six hours, he edits a journey through the mirror maze:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Wait, was there editing there?\\
'''slowbeef:''' Yes, there was editing there.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''*baffled*'' Editing ''what?!'' ''More mirror maze?'' "Wow, I got through that mirror maze a little too quickly. Let me splice in one of my previous mirror maze attempts." What editing did he do? It's like Mike Dawson tries out Windows Movie Maker for the first time.
** Slowbeef making reference to the fact that he could be playing ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamCity'' instead of doing this. Then at one point slowbeef decides to give the viewers his PSN name - only to instead give Proteus' SA handle. And then Diabetus claims that's ''his'' PSN name too.
** Slowbeef and Diabetus decide that the DarkWorld shooting gallery heads are shouting insults at Mike every time he walks by.
--> Loser! Hate you! Get out! Idiot! Dress like a moron! What a jerk! The worst! Why are you here! You'retheonlypersonRitadidn't-! -fuck!
** Shrimp Baby's [[spoiler:new design when it becomes the Colossus, best described as "Skull-snake with buzzsaw sombrero."]]
* ''Throne High'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBItSa2dYmM the]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdgTHU0Ub8U riff]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXc11dbdy6k on]] ''VideoGame/KingsQuestVIHeirTodayGoneTomorrow''.
** The encounter with the oyster.
** In the beginning of Session 2, Alexander talks to a creature. Slowbeef assigns the creature the Ridley voice. [[spoiler:Then the creature speaks in a voice sounding ''almost exactly like it''.]]
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh! ...that was prophetic.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Do you have the power of foresight, Slowbeef?
** ''[[spoiler:[[Series/{{House}} Jollo MD]]]]''. Nuff said.
--->'''Diabetus:''' (In Jollo's voice) We're two adults! Talking like this over the internet! We're recording this with the impression thousands of people will watch it.
** The part where they quote [[TheSilenceOfTheLambs Buffalo Bill]] in Jollo's voice.
** When they discuss the unfairness of the [[ThatOneLevel minotaur's labyrinth]], Slowbeef laments the time he wasted mapping it out when he was young and naive. Diabetus points out how he's currently engaged in the [[SarcasmMode far more productive]] task of mocking an old video game and posting it online. Cue five minutes of laughing and shameless SelfDeprecation while bringing up the Jollo voice AGAIN to show how mature they are.
** Diabetus' parodies of "Girl in the Tower", especially:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Ladies and gentlemen, the "Girl in the Tower"... sung by Jollo.
** If you look at the Blip URL for the first part of the longpurae you'll see Slowbeef named it "Meet n Fuck Kingdom."
*** The Youtube Playlist adds more.
-->"Meet n' Fuck King's Quest [=VI=]"
** As Alexander starts painting a door on a wall to enchant into a real door, Diabetus starts impersonating Bob Ross.
--->'''Diabetus:''' We're going to paint a happy door here. I think all we need is a black outline. And now we take out our magic incantation book. Now to do an enchantment on a painted door you want to... gesture wildly. They're- (Slowbeef starts laughing) They're very happy little gestures we're doing.
* Virtually every single damn second in the ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8QzQp57oI True]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU_f9r3Rcyo Shit]]'' Wrongpurae.
** Especially the saloon sequence, and one particular exchange.
-->'''Cowboy / "The Man With The Cigarette":''' He's done it now. He's killed Evil Eb's littlest brother, and that means trouble.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Who the hell are you?\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[raspy voice]'' I need a throat lozenge. ''[a coroner passes by]'' Oh, excuse me, [[ItMakesSenseInContext retard]] AbrahamLincoln.
** "And now let's go up for a whore! [...] What? We really ''were'' getting a whore? I was ''kidding!''"
** The hero apparently having sex with a prostitute for an entire week, then inexplicably jumping off the balcony on an order to go downstairs, with no adverse effects.
** Their reaction to the TwistEnding.
** The last few minutes where the duo discuss what the title of the video should be.
** [[MundaneMadeAwesome "Give me the HELL out of that drink!"]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqO6X9FRIlc Video Shame]]'', a riff on ''VisualNovel/PlumbersDontWearTies''.
** The {{Fanservice}}y and uncensored[[note]]using a cheat code[[/note]] shower scene, featuring Jane [[spoiler:''and'' John]]. It is censored by slowbeef with increasingly funny text as he finds himself wondering who the game's target audience is supposed to be.
-->'''Censor box:''' I edited this on the bus and am now banned from the bus.
** At one point, the player is presented with the choices "John pursues Jane" or "He plans a vigorous assault later on".
--> '''slowbeef:''' Whoa! What's with option two? What does he, beat the shit out of her?\\
'''Narrator:''' Do girls like guys who are really aggressive? I don't think so.\\
'''Diabetus:''' I don't think aggressive is really the term for that.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Look at our scores. We gained 10,000 points. There's a scoring system in this!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Would you like to ask her on a date, or ''commit a crime?''
** The ending [[spoiler:in which the video abruptly stops with a title card reading "And so, everyone went to jail; THE END".]]
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/warning-shinobix-should-not-be-prescribed-to-anyone-anywhere-5563254 Warning: Shinobix should not be prescribed to anyone, anywhere]]'':
-->''[Player obtains a power-up of three bluish spheres, and then does a flashy animation involving several copies of himself flying into him]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "[[MundaneMadeAwesome I JUST ATE GRAPES!]] [[MesACrowd SUMMON MY MULTIPLICITY!]]"
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5evl89KsmLM You've just crossed over into the Evil Zone]]''
** In between levels, Gally and his wife talk to the player as if they were the audience of a television show, and every fight were an episode thereof. One in particular gives the two goons plenty to riff on:
-->'''Gally:''' So... howdy! Sorry about last week. I like booze!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus chuckle]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Paul Eiding didn't know he was being recorded at this point.\\
...\\
'''Gally:''' Stage Four: Noisy Girl!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Pfft, oh my god!\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[imitating Gally]'' Let me just rub this vagina out of my face.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Heh heh heh heh. You don't even wanna know why they call her Noisy Girl.\\
'''Diabetus:''' I don't, actually.
** Later, they realise that Kakurine's name can be parsed as [[UnfortunateNames "cock-urine"]] and run with it.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Crappy Pastas]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wZhJ2vGj7E Crappy Pasta]]'', a video where slowbeef reads ''VideoGame/SonicExe'', a {{Creepypasta}} ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'' story, where the most scary descriptions that the author could come up with were in reference to other video games, e.g. "Sonic's laugh sounded just like Kefka from ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI''." The whole thing is made more surreal by the footage it's accompanying: a livestream of Diabetus playing ''Mario 2'' late at night after a few drinks.
** It also led to [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/3b96d468925a6fcd7d11cef7f49e354e/tumblr_mq1gpmqmWK1qet5hfo1_1280.png this image]].
* Crappy Pasta II, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULfT10cLbuo New Super Mario Bros. 2: Ihsoy]] where the author abuses SdrawkcabName every chance he gets, the main villain turns out to be ''[[VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld Reznor]]'' of all things, and the final battle is laden with corny action movie banter and just-as-corny [[IronicEcho Ironic Echoes]]. Notably, this caused the story to be deleted from the creepypasta wiki.
** Slowbeef's constant {{corpsing}} whenever someone gets possessed, especially during Oiram's first appearance. At several points, he sounds like he's in tears.
** It also includes this hilariously {{narm}}y line:
--> "Curiosity killed the cat. Or in this case, curiosity killed ''everyone.''"
** When backwards names go too far: [[SdrawkcabName "Hcaep Ssecnirp."]]
** TheReveal of the main villain:
-->'''slowbeef:''' 'At this point, I thought, "Wow. Reswob has striking resemblance to Reznor."'... ''Reznor?''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Trent Reznor or Mario World Reznor?\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think it's Mario World Reznor-who is Mario World Reznor?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Those rotating rhinos, in all the fortresses.\\
'''slowbeef:''' (beat) [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh god. Ohhh my god]].
* Crappy Pasta III, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ziR3WdNP7U Blood Whistle]], where a man plays a "spooky" ROM Hack of Super Mario Bros 3, featuring the obligatory blood and death. He becomes more depressed at Mario's painful plight than is reasonable for a normal human, to the point where he admits he considers Mario an actual living, breathing human being with emotions. And it ends with [[spoiler:him somehow killing himself with a recorder]]. All set to footage of Diabetus playing Super Mario All Stars.
** The first thing slowbeef sees of the Blood Whistle page is a badly edited picture, which causes him and Diabetus to burst into hysterics.
** The first couple of updates are written normally, but as soon as the author finds the titular blood whistle, he lapses into an absurd level of PurpleProse.
** The narrator writes a very drawn out description of the Blood Whistle's treasure room, describing the surroundings and the music in great detail, and then casually mentions that Toad's head was cracked open.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Again, he puts the most important details second. 'The music was slightly changed-''Toad's head was split open'''.
** At one point, the author wonders if the hack was made by [[spoiler:the ''Illuminati'']], of all things.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYys5o7vwe4 Crappy Pasta IV]] is based on Franchise/MegaMan's "The Yellow Devil." The author seems to consider blood the most inherently frightening thing ever, to the point of being ignorant that ''robots don't bleed''.
** At one point, this happens:
-->'''slowbeef:''' '-and revealed a mangled, ripped apart-'\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''*quickly*'' Blood.\\
'''slowbeef:''' '-blood dre-'\\
''*slowbeef and Diabetus lose it*''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Well done, well done.
** Later, the game makes the narrator's ears bleed with a high-pitched screeching sound. ''He still thinks the game's just hacked''.
** "He puked a Mega Man boss!"
** The CallBack to the second episode and "curiosity killed everyone".
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bupm2z_Cggc Crappy Pasta V]] takes a look at "Mega Man 2: The Ladder to Hell", where the author plays a demonic Mega Man 2 cartridge given to him by his deceased brother. The ending alone makes it all worth it.
** Early on in the video, slowbeef and Diabetus mock the MoodWhiplash of the story moving on quickly from the brother's demise to ''Mega Man 2'':
-->'''slowbeef:''' He got over his dead brother pretty quick...\\
'''Diabetus:''' I mean, it's ''Mega Man 2'', it's classic...\\
'''slowbeef:''' "I can't believe Brandon killed himsel--OH MY GOD, ''VIDEO GAMES!''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "SWEET!"
** Also, the point where the deceased brother [[spoiler:(who is somehow talking to the narrator through the game)]] bluntly tells him to [[spoiler:[[DrivenToSuicide kill himself.]]]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjkquaIoYQU Crappy Pasta VI: My Girlfriend is Mega Man 2]]'' revolves around "Tracy: A Mega Man Ghost Story", wherein the narrator buys a cheap copy of ''VideoGame/MegaMan3'' from Goodwill, only to find that a neglected girl lies within it. The hilarious part of her backstory comes when, after a particularly [[AbusiveParents abusive]] interaction, she snaps and ''beats her parents to death with an [[ImprovisedWeapon NES controller]]'' before [[DrivenToSuicide offing herself]].
--> '''Diabetus:''' No [[RunningGag blood details?]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' There was blood on the controller.
** It also includes the line [[CaptainObvious "There are better ways to make a friend than torturing them!"]]
* The inevitable result of all of these: ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO9tSJR1Zvc Slowbeef's House of Horror]]'', where slowbeef reads an ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'' creepypasta complete with scarecam and creepy music. "Scary" words highlighted from the story keep popping out, like "lag" and "Download", which soon turn into a DeadpanSnarker with phrases like "Try rebooting your router." and "Part 2: The Haunted End User License Agreement (coming soon!)"
--> '''slowbeef:''' "I mounted the .ISO disc using Daemo-- Demo-- '''DEMON''' Tools..."
** Then there was slowbeef's reaction to the protagonist's sudden mood change [[spoiler: not long after his friend's death, which ''he witnessed.'']]
--> '''slowbeef:''' Your friend just [[spoiler: ''died''.]]
** The protagonist describes himself as a hacker, but his grasp of anything related to hacking, or even simple computer knowledge are extremely questionable. He seems to equate knowing how to download torrents with hacking, expresses surprise that the strange download from a shady website was able to steal his Steam information, assumes that a BSOD always indicates a virus, and takes his computer to [=GeekSquad=] when it stops working.
** The author also has a very skewed sense of time, mentioning he finished Oblivion in 2008, that ''ten years'' had passed since then, with the 'new' Oblivion construction kit just being released. At the end, he goes even further, saying he was able to finish college and start a family within a couple of years.
** Slowbeef's air quotes, which get more exaggerated and drawn out every time.
* The second ''Slowbeef's House of Horror'' video, ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcQIEZG-RXQ Recipe of Death]]'', features a creepypasta of, of all games, ''VideoGame/CookingMama''. The idea alone is hilarious, but two moments stand out in particular: when Mama is described as horribly mangled in detail and wearing "the expression she does when you get a bronze medal" in the same sentence; and when the protagonist states after he vomits "in real life and ingame" that this meant "the real me and virtual me had a lot in common." [[spoiler:A bonus at the end reveals that there are cuts in the video because these two moments caused slowbeef to laugh trying to read them.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Webcam Ward]]
* ''[[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/konami-e3-rant.php Extreme Enunciation Expo]]'': Diabetus and slowbeef take on Konami's E3 2010 Press Conference.
-->''"WON. MIWYUN. TWOOPS."''
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gprO2OGJEl4&list=PL2A3A5FFF9CA8C956&index=9 Haunted Investigators Ep #2 Retsuwatch]]'': Webcam Ward takes on [[TheIrateGamer Christopher Bores']] ghost hunting show ''Haunted Investigators'':
-->After the [[{{Padding}} ultra-long]] theme song ends*\\
'''Diabetus:''' Whew, that was an exciting episode.\\
'''Khad:''' Uhh, Diabetus... that was just the intro.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[clearly distraught]'' Oh good... good.\\
...\\
'''Bores:''' Tonight, the Haunted Investigators will take on the case of: the Patterson Tower!\\
'''Khad:''' Yeah, the chief really needed this case off his desk.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in "50s news editor" voice]'' Yeah, I gotta get those jerkoffs on Website/YouTube.\\
'''Khad:''' ''[in a British accent]'': But SIR!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in "50s news editor" voice]'' Now you listen here! I've got nothing for today's front page! Get those Haunted Investigators on the horn!\\
...\\
''[Bores starts fiddling with a rod shaped object]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Well, time to calibrate the ghost stick!"\\
'''Khad:''' "Hey! Why does it say 'douche' when I point it at myself? I ain't no ghost!"\\
...\\
''[Bores takes off his bag and begins searching through it]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in a whiny voice]'' "Oh...I didn't pack enough ice cream sandwiches..."\\
...\\
'''Caption:''' Tower Grounds. 9:45 PM\\
'''slowbeef:''' [[SarcasmMode Oooh! 9:45 PM. The Witching Hour!]]\\
...\\
''[On the show's credits]''\\
'''Khad:''' "Executive Producer: Christopher Bores". Guess that makes sense... "Editor: Christopher Bores"... "Post Production: Christopher Bores"...\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore He certainly does.]]\\
'''Khad:''' "Music Editor: Christopher Bores". [[SmallNameBigEgo I'm starting to see a pattern!]]\\
''[Credits show "A Special Thanks to all parties involved in making this episode possible"]''\\
'''Khad:''' Wha? [[ItsAllAboutMe He didn't give anyone in the video credit?]]\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[SarcasmMode Another case closed by the Haunted Investigators!]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[[[BrickJoke in "50s news editor" voice]]]'' I give you the biggest case I've ever seen and all you come back with is a bat and a broken camera? Get out of here you bums! And don't let the door hit ya! Waaah!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Retsutalk]]
* In the very first episode, Slowbeef and Diabetus realize that since the podcast consist of the two of them just having conversation, they can't allow themselves to maintain conversations outside of podcasts from now on.
* As slowbeef mentions the plans for his then upcoming wedding, Diabetus comments that he'll give the location of the wedding to their fans and turn the whole event into a Retsupurae convention.
* The entire conversation that follows after ProtonJon mentions that LetsPlay/DeceasedCrab is getting married.
* Throughout episode 8, Dave_O just says whatever comes to his mind in the background.
-->'''Diabetus:''' So do we have anything to plug, [[LetsPlay/{{slowbeef}} Beef]]?\\
'''Dave_O:''' [[HoYay Each other's bodies.]]
* In episode 14, Slowbeef recounts his trip to Thailand, which includes men giving him a backrub as he was using a urinal.
* Towards the start of episode 15, Slowbeef has noticeable difficulty containing his laughter while saying "[[ARareSentence [ProtonJon] got tricked into doing a Mario romhack Let's Play.]]"
* Slowbeef and Diabetus going crazy over Diabetus (supposedly) never shutting up about his disease, in episode 19.
* Episode 20 has a part where slowbeef, Diabetus, and [=CherryDoom=] talk about how, after participating in LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys' tournament on Jon's invitation, they were too tired to walk back to their hotel and decided to take a cab...only for the bellhop to offer them ''a limo that was sitting outside the hotel.''
* Each of the PAX podcasts start with slowbeef, Diabetus, and [=CherryDoom=] reading through {{Craigslist}} listings for people at PAX who want to hook up. At one point, this leads to [=CherryDoom=] sarcastically saying of one of them that she's "hungry for some nerd dick," only for all three of them to crack up in hysterics.
* According to Diabetus, the president of NVGTR hugged them at PAX East 2013.
* Episode 23: ChipCheezum's reaction to watching normal looking people casually buying hentai in public at [=C2E2=].
** And apparently shortly after they got to the convention, Chip's dad called him to ask what hentai was (or more specifically, he wanted to know the word for porn animes and mangas).
** The discussion on the question, "Where do you get your jokes from?"
-->'''[=GeneralIronicus=]:''' "Joke mean word funny laugh ''how''?"\\
'''ChipCheezum:''' "I don't know where jokes come from, but I wanna make jokes so the girl next door'll like me..."\\
'''[=GeneralIronicus=]:''' "If I write... uh, uh, something on a note of paper and I sleep with it under my pillow, will the joke fairy come and add a punchline? ''Will that happen''?"\\
'''ChipCheezum:''' "Can I exchange my punched-out teeth for jokes? What's the exchange rate for creativity? Help!"
* Proton Jon participates in Episode 24 in mid-vacation with TheRunawayGuys.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Proton Jon and the Runaway Guys are recording this from [[VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine Delfino Plaza]].
** In Episode 24, everything from Slowbeef's conversation with LetsPlay/NintendoCapriSun
-->'''Slowbeef:''' (while discussing the InternetBacklash to Nintendo claiming ad revenue from YouTube videos showing footage of their games) So, Tim, are you going to change your account name to "[=GreedyFuckersCapriSun=]"?
-->'''NCS:''' ''(laughs)'' I'll think about it.
** Around 12 minutes, Slowbeef talks briefly about an ex-girlfriend of his:
-->'''Slowbeef:''' That bitch ain't in the house.\\
'''Slowbeef's wife, distant:''' Are you talking about me?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Other]]
* Slowbeef tended to put snarky comments in the tag section before Youtube made them invisible. Some of the funnier ones include:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhYDz2jYh-M A Look Into Ancient LP Technology]] [[hottip:*:let's play super mario world 2010 antiquated LP technology not bad but also unnecessary we suck at identifying accents passports will get revoked because of this video]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6vLf8I_2s Coming this fall...]] [[hottip:*:let's play chrono trigger movie preview smarmy jerk head up own ass coming soon anime nerd]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m_2m03DEXo Execute LP Protocol #2: Dash-Da-Dash]] [[hottip:*:let's play dash-da-dash humanity is no longer needed for LP keep diff down]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUvPebGSrl0 Horror! ...No, that's really the game's name.]] [[hottip:*:let's play retsupurae newgrounds horror what the hell is this garbage]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13UXd1xhEo Let's Play... What the hell is this?]] [[hottip:*:what has to be going through your masked friggin head]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lpw3-XgZuw Retsufrash - Arrival in Hell]] [[hottip:*:retsufrash newgrounds arrival in hell prison puzzles with solutions no human mind would think of]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ou5WTZP8eY Rijno and Darknessthecurse review Brave Fencer Musashi]] [[hottip:*:let's play afterglow come on at least line up the camcorder]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC1SzVR5zeo Super Bummerman 2]] [[hottip:*:let's play super bomberman or is it bummerman i'm sorry coach I'll learn to read please let me football]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-K55PfGRk The Unfair Retsupurae]] [[hottip:*:let's play the unfair platformer hard game how are videos like this considered successful]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7dnofuSMNo This is Kokiri Forest [=[citation needed]=]]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda ocarina of time kokiri forest LP 2.0 [=PiP=] whada deku scrub]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwmpd2hjtpE Tower of Horrible Voices]] [[hottip:*:let's play tower of heaven more like hell shut up horrible voice unfunny gimmick worst everything]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmSY3u9CUM You will not make it through this video]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda majora's mask oh my goodness what is that voice you are scaring the children]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWFko8g3Ggw A Deeper Connection With Newgrounds]]. Simply put: [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming the Carousel pitch]] from Series/MadMen [[XMeetsY plus]] [[spoiler:Meet 'n Fuck Kingdom]].
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFbVKL-Meo0&feature=g-u-u Adults React To PewDiePie]]''is truly a wonder to behold, with Retsupurae fans, and even slowbeef and Diabetus themselves using the "scare cam" concept to insult LetsPlay/PewDiePie over several of his videos. Some of the funnier reactions to PDP's videos include:
** A woman pouring an entire bottle of pills into her hand.
** Slowbeef's first scene.
-->'''slowbeef:''' *Sighs* Ya know, maybe I'm making too much of this, maybe it's not so bad. [[TemptingFate I'm sure it's got its own appeal, and there's probably nothing really that terrible in these videos]], I mean, ya know-\\
'''[=PewDiePie=]:''' (In the video slowbeef is watching) [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Oh, he's raping her!]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' [[FlatWhat I'm sorry, what was that?]]
** A man [[DrivenToSuicide loading an assault rifle]] [[BlackComedy and]] [[AteHisGun putting it into his mouth]].
** A man ''smoking a bong onscreen''.
** Diabetus's four appearances reading off a number of [=PewDiePie=]'s more disturbing titles, culminating in [[AltText a caption that reads]] "'''[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer FUCKING SERIOUSLY, ACTUAL VIDEO TITLES. ACTUAL VIDEO TITLES. HOW DOES HE LIVE WITH HIMSELF?!?!]]'''"
** A man ''vomiting'' in disgust.
** A man simply repeating "30 000 likes. ''30 000 likes''." in sheer disbelief.
** A man declaring "[[DespairEventHorizon There is no God]]," and slashing his wrists.
** A man making a phone call, reporting [=PewDiePie=] as a crime against humanity.
** The numerous ScrewThisImOuttaHere reactions.
** Slowbeef declaring that this [[TemptingFate can't get any worse]], then we see a giant purple head from VideoGame/AoOni with PDP's mouth imposed on it...
-->'''slowbeef:''' I give up. There is no bottom as to how bad this gets.\\
'''Purple Head:''' IT'S RAPING TIME.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Okay, there is ''that''.
** Due to PDP's overzealous fans flagging the video and limiting it to accounts 18 or older, slowbeef released a "Rated E for Everyone" version that censored the pill bottle, the bong, the machine gun, the drinking, and the wrist-slashing. However, all of PDP's footage was intact, every curse word and instance of the word "rape" still remained. Showing just how broken YouTube's system really is.
*** The censorship in said video includes [[{{Bowdlerise}} replacing]] the bottle of pills with Tic-Tacs, the Jack Daniels with Coke Zero, and the weapons with a picture of Bill Gates. Also, a scene was added that wasn't in the original video.
** In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TSMKMg8bas&feature=g-u-u Retsutalk]] about the video, Diabetus sums up LetsPlay/PewDiePie's style thusly,
--> "I have no content, AndIMustScream."
** Slowbeef [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R7FOMGbbiI intentionally]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3MSDy6msyY imitating]] [=PewDiePie's=] video style, poking fun at how he makes his videos in general while faking enthusiasm and plastering the videos with millions of annotations poking fun at the the overadvertising of it all.
--> ''[slowbeef takes drink from mug]''\\
'''Annotation''': What is that, buttermilk? YOU FAT SHIT!\\
'''Second Annotation pointing to the first''': [[http://atheistsagainstrp.tumblr.com/ Bodysh aming!]]\\
'''Third Annotation''': Social Justice Warrior MUCH??!? LOL!\\
'''Fourth Annotation''': What are you, an MRA idito from Reddit?\\
'''Annotation beneath the scare cam''': Talk about this video in the My Little Pony forums.\\
'''Annotation in top right corner''': Please subscribe, I am desperate!\\
'''Annotation that completely covers Slowbeef's reaction window''': ProtonJon!
*** At the very beginning of the Happy Wheels video, slowbeef laughing at the dog food advertisement that he intentionally left in the recording.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHnqdFio8RA Don't Watch This]]'' Slowbeef forces ChipCheezum to watch a ''hentai readalong'' (censored, mind you) as revenge for making Slowbeef watch the garbage life video. Chip's utter disbelief over it is astounding!
-->'''Chip:''' It has 12,000 views and ''one dislike!''\\
'''Slowbeef:''' (Laughing) Chip's the one.
** ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NawJbj3BVOo Wait for it... (Don't Watch This Edition)]]'', a continuation where Slowbeef reads a post related to the reader's critique on a sex toy. Things get really, really uncomfortable, really fast.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEwRY22XPiE Let's... I Can't Even Pretend To Guess.]]''
-->''[Various clips of penguins set through a WMM filter and set to the reprise of Jimmy T's song from WarioWare Smooth Moves; several seconds of stunned silence.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' All right, ''[[FlatWhat what]]''.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Are, uh, we in a club?\\
'''Slowbeef:''' I, uh... This is a Let's Play, right?\\
''[Text reading "[=LordPenguin777=] Presents:" appears.]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, I get it. Wait, no I don't.\\
...\\
'''slowbeef:''' ...that was like HunterSThompson playing video games.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzDFCOjr734 Metroid Machina Makes Me Maddingly Miserable]]'':
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh man, she [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "aquaired"]] the grapple!\\
'''Diabetus:''' My aqua-aired...\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think Grapple Aqua-aired is like a drink... it's like a juice.
** Their reaction to the intro:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Oh my god, the soundtrack's dying.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Yeah, this is really painful to listen to.\\
'''Diabetus:''' DRRRRRRRR DRRRRRRR\\
'''slowbeef:''' The Metroid theme, as done by nails on chalkboard.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W3QIua3BHA Mortal Konversation]][[hottip:*:formerly Press F D F HP: Perform Animationality]]'': their riff on WesternAnimation/MortalKombatTheJourneyBegins in all its poorly-animated glory.
** In particular, Part 3 ending a few seconds after a horribly animated, ''freakish'' close up on Sonya Blade's screaming face caused a good few chuckles, as well as certain [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcm-MDLUb_Y mash ups.]]
-->'''Diabetus:''' Good place to stop.
** Johnny Cage's inexplicable backwalking animation during the Tarkatan mook fight sequence in part 3 and 4, which slowbeef interprets as moongrappling. It has inspired [[http://youtu.be/XF5AfFK8HGg this video]], which is visible in the favorite's list on the RP Youtube account.
* ''[[http://blip.tv/therparchive/retsupurae-the-most-shameful-thing-in-the-world-6286564 The Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]'' Don't watch if you like [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Haruhi.]] You won't after this video.
-->''"[[TemptingFate With the amount of dignity lost, I don't see how this could possibly get any..]]"'' ''[RecordNeedleScratch]'' ''"[[DancingTheme ...worse]][[SuzumiyaHaruhi ?]]"''
** ''[[http://www.viddler.com/v/713f71f3 The Even More Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]''
-->''"Is this what anime did to America? Is this revenge on us for dropping the bombs?"''
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm2rhVIZkxI OH HELL YES I AM DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS]]: In which the duo comment over someone playing a face-maker game... While playing ''{{Music/Disturbed}}'' music, of all things. The kicker is when they pretend to be OccidentalOtaku who think this is awesome.
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''FULL-DEATH-METAL ALCHEMIST'', BRO!
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv1FLeM8NTY Praying Dumbass]]''
-->'''slowbeef:''' "I saw this thing in my house! What the hell is this? I got no idea! Other things I don't know: Google.com, what the hell is that? Wikipedia, what the hell is that? Asking a friend, I have no idea how to do that! The only thing I can do is film stuff and use Vimeo.com as my only avenue of knowledge! What the hell was that-" It's a praying mantis you fucking idiot.
** Following this is the "Sandwich" Video.
-->'''slowbeef:''' Hey guys I wanted to share with this video by Jacob. I hope the title doesn't give it away because there is a lot to it.\\
''[plays video of a sandwich and milk being consumed in 10 seconds]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' [[SarcasmMode STUNNING! "Sandwich" By Jacob, It's Great.]] You wanna know what's great is that it actually took longer to make the sandwich than the video. And you wanna know what else is great? [[ToiletHumor In a few hours, they'll be the same thing!]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRFWYpuQHt8 Sword of Vermillion]]'':
-->'''Diabetus:''' So earlier you said that this game was the Genesis' answer to ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZelda''. I say that this video is the human answer to the Genesis.\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think this video is why Sega stopped making consoles.\\
...\\
'''Diabetus:''' Imagine being the cameraman for this. How would you feel?\\
'''slowbeef:''' BoundAndGagged?
** Slowbeef's reactions to the video, which start out confused and become increasingly horrified.
--> '''slowbeef:''' Oh god... ''what is this?'' Oh, this is shameful. This is so- '''Oh good god'''.
** The spin-off Webcam Ward covered a similar video with [[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/goldenaxe.php Golden Axe]].
* ''[[http://www.viddler.com/explore/retsu/videos/108/ Ultimate Challenge]]'': What might be THE defining moment in the history of combining a LP and a package of pizza rolls.
-->'''Proteus:''' He has - He has bigger tits than my girl...
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWfRzwM6Gws Velos]]'', an unedited video from a visibly overweight InternetToughGuy in response to the RP team riffing on one of his friend's videos:
-->'''Velos:''' ''[completely unemotionally]'' If [Cloud8745] ever met you in real life, he'd kick your ass. And if I met you in real life, I'd fucking kill you right now. 'Cause you will go down in hell. I'll haunt you. Yeah. I'll kill you.
* Whenever Diabetus turns away from the mic and starts shouting, a la Shmorky.
[[/folder]]
----
The funny moments from their Retsupuraes can be found '''[[Funny/RetsupuraeSlowbeefAndDiabetus here]]'''.
The funny moments in Retsupuraes made by other people can be found '''[[Funny/{{Retsupurae}} here]]'''.
----
!!Examples (in alphabetical order):
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Retsufrashes]]
* The ''Ambition'' series, a spin-off of ''The Negotiator'', provides endless opportunities for hilarity.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IjCBU0daGE How To Disarm A Bomb (Ambition Part 1)]]:
*** The bomber's tendency to pace around the room, with an incredibly loud knocking sound for his footsteps.
*** The 'all of the above' option.
-->'''Cop:''' Hi, my name is Jim. Put your hands in the air! What are you upset about?
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wargc7gt_D0 How To Disarm A Hitchhiker (Ambition Part 2)]]
*** [[OffModel Yale's goofy grin.]] And it won't be the only time it'll pop up again.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usctn5UtRlg How To Apply The DSM V (Ambition Part 3)]]
*** In which you are lectured about human nature by Ted, the psychotic man who was threatening everyone with explosives strapped to his chest for the past two chapters, while trying to correctly diagnose him. [[spoiler:In spite of his behavior, the correct answer is to claim ''he's perfectly sane''.]]
*** His creepy behavior and dialog do lend themselves to [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/56d148aa3d048eb6b2e53bd21e7d4c97/tumblr_mnsdm6aQE61rddyhgo1_500.gif great]] [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/8104b457ffd11477cd9c415c47cd3ab9/tumblr_mns7meK4k51r0t8auo1_1280.png images]], for what it's worth.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee0v0AoC444 How To Untangle A Tryst (Part 1) (Ambition Part 4)]]
*** Ted's escape, wherein [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/91cca44e496bcfb13cf2ba710f9230a3/tumblr_mnsznuBBPR1srt8jjo1_500.gif he pointlessly starts doing parkour on the walls]].
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MeTOpOjUEI How To ... Uh... Untangle A Tryst? (Part 2) (Ambition Part 5)]]. This is where the series really seemed to have come off the rails. Practically all of the characters make truly bizarre and borderline terrifying faces.
*** There's a random moment where a pencil somehow launches itself into the air from Yale's desk, accompanied by a drum roll and cymbal sting when Angie catches it. Yale's reaction causes both goons to completely lose it.
--->'''Yale:''' Wow. Good catch.\\
'''Diabetus:''' That was the se-\\
''[Yale does a goofy grin. Both goons burst into laughter.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' I... There was nothing we could've said to add to that. ''[further laughter following a cross-eyed Angie]'' Are you ''serious''?
*** Special note must be given to the entire scenario with Yale's wife and "you beloved aunt"'s violin. [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext She starts screaming like a velociraptor]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhiElwYQ9sg before beating in the player's head]].
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co-7gTPsJlY How To Solve The Case! (Ambition Part 6)]] In which you're a police officer who's ordered to make an arrest ''in 16 hours'', when real arrests tend to take much, ''much'' longer to occur. (You get 24 after some negotiating with your boss, but nevertheless...)
*** You turn out to be the most narcoleptic policeman on the force, too, requiring a four-hour trip to bed every 12 in-game hours or so, lest you get lost in your own city. This is represented by you ''[[http://24.media.tumblr.com/b0c921e188770342b87db79ca33a544a/tumblr_mnuzsn7Fdd1srt8jjo1_500.gif driving into your bed on the highway]]''.
--->'''slowbeef:''' We're taking another nap?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Watch out!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh God!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Aaaaaah! ''[the main menu appears]'' Oh, that was the ''coziest'' crash ever.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LerSao-2eGE How To Start Interrogating A Suspect (Ambition Part 7)]] gives us, among other funny moments, a review by a user called "ffextreme," who wonders if the creator is related to Creator/MelGibson, because they have the same last name. He says that he liked ''Film/{{Braveheart}}'' and "''Film/{{The Passion|OfTheChrist}}''". Made even funnier by the fact that slowbeef can barely contain himself while reading the review, as well as the Bane impression he does to interpret all caps.
*** During actual gameplay, slowbeef sums up the insanity of the series:
--->'''Bridget:''' You just don't get it, do you? Ted escaped because he was ''allowed'' to escape. Come on, you can do it. Connect the dots. \\
'''slowbeef:''' Could there be a giant conspiracy theory that would force a guy to [[SuicideAttack put a bomb on himself]], [[SuperWindowJump jump out a window]], [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou land in a mattress truck]], hitchhike with the very people that's ''[sic]'' conspiring against him, and then land up in a psychological assessment where it turned out he's [[spoiler:actually sane and]] maybe under this drug Paxwic, which is a drug made for produc[ing] the perfect soldier? I think not! \\
'''Diabetus:''' That's how ''you'' connect the dots?
*** The incredibly creepy "loverboy" at the beginning with the huge overbite is remarkably surreal-looking - even for ''this'' series. In addition, once Bridget spurns him, he stares directly at the player with a surprisingly intimidating (and ridiculously goofy) glare.
*** The opening of the game asserts that Rolf Klink was giving a speech at a right-wing political rally. He immediately goes into a rant about how to rule the populace through "fear"... As it turns out, the party he's giving a speech for? The ''Fascist'' Party. You know, like two ''fondly''-remembered [[UsefulNotes/NaziGermany countries from]] [[UsefulNotes/FascistItaly the 1940s]]...
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2tr_tuwtOA How To Discover The Truth (Ambition Part 8)]]. Two words: [[spoiler:Ted sings.]]
*** Then there's what's ''supposed'' to be [[spoiler:[[WoundedGazelleGambit Bridget pretending to be attacked]]]], but looks like her dancing in place whispering [[spoiler:"HELPHELPHELPHELPHELP"]]. slowbeef and Diabetus are mystified.
*** The option to punch [[TheRival Duke]] in the nose.
*** Near the end, Bridget asks the PC who said that "Facts are the enemy of the truth" and ''mocks him'' if the player doesn't answer "Miguel de Cervantes". The gameplay portion of the video ends with Pinstripe Hourglass using Google to show that [[CriticalResearchFailure the quote is from Dale Wasserman, not Cervantes.]]
*** There's one user review slowbeef finds for Diabetus to do his "screaming voice" for, which essentially is "THANK YOU MICHAEL" over and over again. Made more amusing when you consider slowbeef's real name...
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsPCJO37v6o How To Fix a Broken Marriage (Ambition Part 9)]]. The answer: pastries and 24-karat diamond necklaces that look like they came from ''Webcomic/SweetBroAndHellaJeff''.
*** More specifically, the pastry bit comes out of nowhere in the middle of a ([[{{Narm}} more or less]]) serious discussion. slowbeef's reaction makes it even better.
--->'''Helen:''' Are you suggesting that if I weren't so bitchy and instead acted like a sweet, compliant little wifie, you still would have [had an affair]?\\
'''Yale:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]]\\
'''Helen:''' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Have a pastry.]]\\
''[Yale holds a pastry making the infamous goofy grin; slowbeef starts laughing]''\\
'''Yale:''' Mmm, Helen makes the most sumptuous pastries.\\
''[slowbeef starts laughing harder]''\\
'''Helen:''' Not everyday. If I - [made them every day maybe he wouldn't have cheated on me.]\\
''[the player interrupts Helen]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' (still laughing) I'm gonna stop you here. What the hell are you talking about?\\
'''Diabetus:''' What the hell is going on?\\
''[the player selects "Ask Helen what role food plays in her life."]''\\
'''Yale:''' Food plays a significant role in her life.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[[BigWhat WHAT?!]]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' How?!\\
'''Helen:''' I think the question was addressed to me.\\
'''Yale:''' Then answer it.\\
'''Helen:''' I'm ''trying'' to.\\
'''Yale:''' She makes enormous amounts of food every day which neither of us can eat.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''What does this have to do with -''\\
'''Helen:''' Are you going to let me speak?\\
'''Diabetus:''' I'm just gonna let this play out.\\
'''Yale:''' Of course dear. I'm just allowing you time to [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness formulate your thoughts into a coherent structure.]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''Look at this!''\\
''[Diabetus laughs]''\\
'''Helen:''' Listen to him. How could anyone put up with that?\\
'''Yale:''' We're all still waiting for you to answer the question about what role food plays in your life.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Interrupt. "I'd like a pastry!"
*** Also, players guide the plot in this installment by interrupting them, which greatly amuses the [=RPers=] - especially when, near the end of a failed run, the player is ''prevented from interrupting''.
*** Near the end of the game, Yale claims that "the white man has achieved world domination because he enslaved the black man". A few seconds later, [[{{Hypocrite}} he offers Helen the aforementioned necklace made out of 24k gold and diamonds]], two materials which [[SarcasmMode are in no way related to the exploitation/enslavement of black people]].
*** "Somehow, even though it started out with a guy strapping bombs to his chest and jumping out a window, the central thesis [of the Ambition series] is '[[UnfortunateImplications bitches be crazy]]'".
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDeWIroK4Z8 How To Handle The Police (Ambition Part 13)]]
*** The player gets in a taxi cab, and finds the driver [[spoiler:has been replaced with Duke]]. He calmly asks him why [[spoiler:he's hijacked the cab]], and is met with this response:
--->'''Diabetus:''' [[TemptingFate This seems pretty normal.]]\\
[[spoiler:'''Duke:''' ''[In his usual high-pitched, nasally voice]'']] Because ''I'm a terrorist!''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[incredulous] '''WHAT?!''''' Oh my God...What?!\\
''[The two goons are left in hysterics for a good twenty seconds straight.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''Now'' I'm a terrorist! ''[continues laughing]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh my God...\\
''[The next dialog option tree pops up, with the first option being eight words long and the second being '''ten lines'''.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''Oh my God'', look at these two options! ''[more laughing]'' [[spoiler:Duke]], sit down a minute for option two!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Can we die so we can go back and see that again?\\
''[A police car drives by in the background [[spoiler: with Ted in the back seat]]]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Look, they [[spoiler:caught Ted again!]]\\
''[Another dialog option tree...]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Wait, none of the three options are ''"what the fuck?"''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Because I'm a terrorist!" ''[laughs]'' I'm sorry, let me redo that: ''[mimicking [[spoiler:Duke's nasal voice]]]'' "Because I'm a terrorist! Mooooom!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, God... ''[more chuckling]'' Ugh... You're a terrorist, but you were such a good [[spoiler:marriage counselor]]!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughs]'' He terrorizes [[spoiler:divorce lawyers]]! This is great work [[spoiler:counseling]]!\\
'''Diabetus:''' You know what, I take it back; going through all these parts was ''worth it''!
*** Even better: by sheer coincidence, this exchange begins at 9:11 in the video.
**** The video also ends with [[spoiler:Duke getting kicked in the crotch]]; a scene so hilarious that it's played out twice for the two goons.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyAvcyxBkKY How To Close Out Your Video Game Series (Ambition part 14)]] has [[spoiler:Duke killing the player in front of a mysterious green light as a guitar riff plays.]] The green light shows up several times later, and every time it shows up neither goon can comprehend what it is.
*** Speaking of [[spoiler:Duke]], the animation for [[spoiler:swinging the tire iron]]. slowbeef describes it as "[[spoiler:tire iron, gangster-style]]".
*** Also, [[spoiler:[[TheStinger after the credits]], [[MemeticMutation Helen's scream from episode 5]] pops up again.]]
* ''Ambition Babies'' covers yet another [[Creator/ZapDramatic Michael Gibson]] series, this time focusing on children. For some reason, the player now has a "Persuasion Power" meter that fills when you become more popular with the others. It tends to fill up after particularly negative choices (i.e. mocking a boy's speech impediment), and every time it fills or drains lightning strikes the screen.
** Also, the mouse from ''The Raise'' pops up from time to time to tell the player how they're doing, annoying the [=RPers=].
** Ted returns to the series as a math teacher.
** Perhaps capping everything off is a section near the end of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ku263TRcScQ Part 1]] where a fat girl who had previously {{air guitar}}ed suddenly gains a real guitar and sings about herself, transporting the school into a trippy dimension filled with poorly-animated students. The goons react about how'd you expect.
*** Afterward:
-->'''Ted:''' What are you kids up to?\\
'''Slowbeef:''' I DON'T KNOW!!\\
'''Diabetus:''' "No seriously, what the fuck was that?"
** When given the option to apologize to Dave or simply ignore him and walk away, Pinstripe Hourglass the latter choice, upon which the mouse ''congratulates him.''
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODZuBQ_wJtI Part 2]] cover's the girl's side of Monday, featuring a slumber party treated as SeriousBusiness, Duke Crabtree's reappearance (along with a complete redesign and his twin brother Luke), and the mouse popping up ''during'' the tennis match (not to mention greeting you with [[{{Narm}} "Way to go, girl!"]]).
*** Also, after Kim is left out of the slumber party, a little depressing piano ditty plays, and Janina appears again... though she doesn't sing.
*** A sequence from both gender's storylines has Janina ask you "if you could do anything, what would it be?" There are two "real" answers - sing in a band or go to Paris. Answer with "Go to Paris" and she calls you an idiot for not choosing the band option - [[HypocriticalHumor right before doing a stupid-looking]] AirGuitar bit.
** The third installment has Ted outright saying he doesn't feel like teaching today, and in general saying things that are far too complex for elementary school students to understand. Also, the vice principal punishes you for participating in humiliating another student by ''sending you back in time'' to the beginning of the day, leading to several mentions of TimeTravel in the commentary (and Diabetus asking if your character is named [[Series/DoctorWho "The Doctor"]]).
*** Then, Ted teaches a lesson with four doors: one of which houses an A+, and the other three goats.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prZun-SUu0M Arise: The New Form of Horror]]''
--> '''Diabetus:''' SUP... oh, that says help.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xl3wVH45TQk Arise 2 (2/2)]]''
-->'''''"JOHN MCCAIN, WHY?"'''''
** The RunningGag with Mofunzone's giant login banner.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JWqdwBturk Arise 3]]'' is a 10 minutes TimedMission, therefore Slowbeef [[MotorMouth musttalkreallyfasttogetthroughthegame]], ignoring both the jumpscares and a more and more confused Diabetus' objections, relaxing only for the time it takes to get through a microscope minigame.
** Immediately before the motor mouthing starts, there this excellent example of comedic timing:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Now, Arise 3 introduces a couple of new elements. Not like pop scares, since there's one coming up in about one second. ''[JUMPSCARE]''.
** >.> apparently means "It was greater than nothing, and also it was greater than having your period."
** Slowbeef rushes through the game at such a ridiculous speed that, about six minutes into the video, he triggers a pop scare ''and leaves the screen before it has time to finish''.
-->'''Diabetus:''' [in response to a jump scare consisting of every previous JPEG flashed in rapid succession] He's getting close to the cure! Throw more [=JPEGs=] at him!
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFPCEY_gURs Arise 4]]'', the worst game ever.
** "My .jpeg's! No!" "Well, how do I know that you didn't have to put in 666 backwards?" "But what in the Arise canon made the .jpeg's [[spoiler:lethal]]?" - and the discussion about the mysterious nature of the .jpeg's in general.
** "YOU'RE NOT LOGGED IIIINNNN"
** At one point, slowbeef accidentally tabs out of the game (briefly after [[TemptingFate talking about having done so earlier and losing as a result]]), and makes it back ''just'' in time to save himself. His and Diabetus' reactions to this are priceless.
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/arise-minus-jpegs-let-s-start-the-bidding-at-2-5653720 Arise Minus JPEGs -- Let's Start the Bidding at $2]]'': The RP of ''Lechuza'': their reactions to the protagonist's NightmareFace, the rampant GISSyndrome and Slowbeef's continued lamentation that he ''paid'' for this game. ''Twice'' (for the iPad and the Mac):
-->'''slowbeef:''' ''[at the start of the credits]'' And that's two dollars down the dra...I mean, ''Lechuza''.\\
...\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[On the "Graphics" credits]'' This is kind of bullshit by the way. Like pretty much [[{{Plagiarism}} every art asset in this game was ripped off!]]
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[GISSyndrome Thought just the Google logo would be under the "Graphics" part.]]
** Diabetus being startled by the character's face. ''Three times.''
* The Arrival in Hell Retsufrash is one long string of these, with them mocking the terrible animation and art, the awful voice acting, the rampant typos, and the confusing puzzles.
-->'''Character:''' You have got to be joking!\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[laughing]'' I am! Isn't it funny!\\
'''slowbeef:''' You're in jail!\\
'''Diabetus:''' You killed so many people!
** Any time Diabetus breaks out his 'happy little prisoner' voice.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Hum doo dee doo, whistle while you're in prison!
** At the very end of the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qhdRXS6jic#t=438s Arrival In Hell 2 RF]], slowbeef and Diabetus discover Newgrounds' {{Hentai}} stash:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Let's see... "Users who liked this also enjoyed Meet'N'Fuck Kingdom."\\
'''Both:''' ''[Cracking up]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' That's what they call Newgrounds meetings, where, like, people come to be together in one place.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh g- "Meet'N'Fuck Kingdom!" That's actually the staff meeting that Magda and Kalango got together at. Fucking...\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's, uh, one of the lesser known [[DisneyLand Disney attractions]].\\
'''slowbeef:''' Wait a minute, wait a minute... "[[SuperMarioBrothers Bowser & Peach (Hentai)]]," and, oh look, then there's "[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Dental Appointment]]!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' Well, these guys like to meet 'n' fuck and they like really gross shit but they keep their hygiene.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Right, yeah, you know?\\
'''Diabetus:''' I mean, they're not '''totally''' disgusting.\\
'''slowbeef:''' "I'm gonna do Princess Peach, I'm gonna need some toothpaste."\\
'''Diabetus:''' They like "ProfessorLayton pt. 6"?
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsUihT9hD2s Braidple Story]], which makes fun of an art game that rips off ''VideoGame/TheCompanyOfMyself'' and uses ''VideoGame/MapleStory'' sprites, of all things. It also features the narrator acting increasingly creepy about a girl he likes [[spoiler:(to the point where she tells him to back off at the end)]], and some of the most obtuse and tedious puzzle design in the history of gaming.
** What stands out, though, is the intro, wherein the game's host site (gamesark.com) is advertised with [[MoodWhiplash a happy giraffe surfing on the ark.]] Said giraffe remains in the upper-left corner of the game itself, prompting several goofy voices from Diabetus.
*** The giraffe icon also moves when you move your mouse pointer over it. This is noticeable several times throughout the video, [[spoiler:[[BrickJoke but the RPers only notice it at the end]], and crack up.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4-8nsEPHas Colour My Something]], a riff on [[ColourMySeries Colour My World]]. The flash itself is pretty funny, but what stands out is the end.
-->'''slowbeef:''' In this monochrome world, I will search the depths of the earth and the limitless skies for you. Alternate title - I didn't get you a Valentine's Day present. ''[laughter]'' I see right through you, Silver Stitch!
** When Diabetus reads one of the reviews:
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''[reading a review]'' I feel sad...it was a good game but now I want a girlfriend. Nine out of ten!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[splitting his sides]'' So wait a minute, wait a minute, if he had the girlfriend, would that have gotten him a ten?!\\
'''Diabetus:''' I guess so. 'If my loneliness wasn't crushing my very soul, I would give you a perfect score, sir, but as it stands I can only give you an almost perfect!'
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_9XS3YG-AQ Dead Space (this game has lots of it)]], a riff on a particularly bad ''{{Exmortis}}'' clone.
** At the end, a final JumpScare pops up and actually seems to catch Slowbeef by surprise, before he cracks up.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ7_7BfxrFo Death]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qKBtcWqL7Y Trap]]''
** Slowbeef's continuous incredulity at how utterly un-terrifying the house - made up mostly of stock 3D renderings of fashionably furnished modern rooms - is.
-->'''slowbeef:''' We're serving dinner for six here in the Death Trap!
** "[[DullSurprise My God. I've been missing for days.]]"
*** "Let me go, you motherfucker."
** The fireplace room, full stop. Another 3D rendered room, with a cheesy looping GIF of a fire crudely stuck over the top at the wrong angle and cropped so that the ''bottom'' of the fire leaks over to the ''top'' of the image, accompanied by a very loud crackling noise.
-->''[stunned silence]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Erm... what's wrong with this picture?\\
'''Diabetus:''' The fireplace is a typewriter?
** "Wait... 2006 was only one week long?"
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLo4M1tlpv9ru1RkWcFf2UBH1htR8_uGI6 The Exmortis Trilogy - Why Being a Homeowner Sucks]]'' has many hilarious moments. Constant riffing on the excessive journals (which cause Diabeetus to sincerely suggest Ben Leffler simply become a writer), ''incredibly'' bad pop scares, and confusing puzzles.
** Slowbeef's opening comments on the first Exmortis.
-->'''Slowbeef:''' I actually played this years ago, and I remember it not being too bad, unless...\\
'''Diabetus:''' Unless Leffler Web Design says differently.\\
'''Slowbeef:''' Unless he let me down.\\
''*JumpScare*''\\
'''Slowbeef:''' Okay, well, that's already bad.
** The goons' reaction to an ''incredibly'' long journal (around ''50 pages long'') in ''Exmortis II''.
-->'''slowbeef''': Oh no, another book.\\
'''Diabetus''': ''Oh, for fuck's sake.''\\
''[the longplayer begins to slowly flip through the book]''\\
'''slowbeef''': "I guess I got myself a new diary to use" is the only sentence I read from this whole thing, because, you-- this is almost a ''joke'' how long this is.\\
''[the longplayer flips through the book much more quickly]''\\
'''slowbeef''': Look at this!\\
'''Diabetus''': Wow.\\
'''slowbeef''': ''Look at this!''\\
'''Diabetus''': "You did read the necessary literature before you played ''Exmortis II'', correct?"\\
'''slowbeef''': I had some down time before we could do this video.\\
''[the longplayer finally gets to the last page]''\\
'''slowbeef''': I started reading it, but I was like "this is fucking ridiculous, I can't."
** Slowbeef's repeated troubles with the pronunciation of [[NoPronunciationGuide Lord Vlaew]].
** The third game is being sold for ''$20''. The kicker is that the longplayer ''had to get stoned'' to buy the thing.
** A game of ''{{Simon|SaysMiniGame}}'' is used as part of a trap created by demons in ''Exmortis III''.
** In the third game, Slowbeef and Diabetus point out the ridiculousness of all the ScareChord use, and completely lose it when one happens as the Longplayer draws back some curtains.
** Part 3 of the Exmortis 3 riff features the main character receiving a vision of his house, accompanied by a ScareChord.
-->'''Diabetus:''' You made it this far, but are you ready for ''[shouting]'' '''real estate'''?!
** Part 4 features the final fight with Lord Vlaew where all he does is [[spoiler: throw rocks at the player]], leading to a hurricane of jokes about his actual power.
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9VWXIt_v08 Flash vs. Jason]]''. A Friday the 13th fan game starts out genuinely kind of creepy, exploring Camp Crystal Lake...and then Jason shows up.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Alright. Let's get those glutes, girls!
** The second time Jason shows up, it actually causes Diabetus to choke on what he was drinking at the time.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txIumsCB5t8 French Dip]], their Retsufrash of ''Jack French'', a poorly drawn, badly voice acted "mystery" game with NoEnding. Diabetus and slowbeef have a field day.
** Apparently, one of the people who played the game had some trouble with a certain puzzle...
-->'''Windsong-Springheart:''' The only problem I had was the briefcase code. What the hell is it? If you're gonna have the briefcase, have the code set in so we don't have to go through millions of combinations. Other than that, I really do love your game!
-->*slowbeef and Diabetus laugh*\\
'''slowbeef:''' He just sat there clicking!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Besides having to go through ''thousands of combos''...\\
'''slowbeef:''' (as Windsong) I sat there in the hopes of seeing that Sandra girl's boobs, and I was not disappointed!
* Creator/ZapDramatic[='=]s "How to Get out of Speeding Tickets" and "How to Get a Raise" feature some of the worst advice of all time, but the real gold comes when the latter video goes completely off the rails:
-->'''[[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Talking Mouse]]:''' Psst! There's a woman taking off her clothes behind you!\\
''(player looks behind him to see a woman stripping until she shows a nipple...then morphs into the cop from the speeding ticket video)''\\
'''Cop:''' All right, pervert! You're coming with me!
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay2MIt9ApWY How To Woo The Homeless]], featuring a homeless man who looks to be a walking coal mine and kills you for giving him ''too much'' money. The death animation also features him breaking a bottle over your head, followed by a few extremely confusing and apparently symbolic graphics.
-->'''Diabetus''': Wait, did he go into our ''soul?''
** "How Not To Get Killed At Your Local Pub" features a very bizarre winning animation with [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext the lady that the player talks to and a tape that she puts between her tits]].
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRvBZLQGzwU Inculcation: (n) TOTAL FEAR]]'', a ''very'' poor "horror" game.
** The enemies in the game are very odd. They appear to be in the shape of a human, but filled in with scribbled red lines on a brown background, that seem to move around randomly even when the enemy is standing still (slowbeef even refuses to call it a texture). The animation is also incredibly choppy, to the point where slowbeef has a difficult time telling which animation indicates they're moving, and which indicates they're falling down. The quality of the art is kindergarten-level. Upon seeing one of these enemies for the first time:
-->'''slowbeef and Diabetus''': ''[laughter]''\\
'''slowbeef''': ''Come on! [laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus''': Well, uh...\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[continues laughing]''\\
'''Diabetus''': Did you mean the ''enemy'' was fast, or his ''atoms'' were fast?\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughs harder]''\\
'''slowbeef and Diabetus''': ''[chuckling]''\\
'''slowbeef''': Oh no, it's, it's, it, it's Slender Man's cousin, ''Scribble'' Man!\\
'''Diabetus''': ''[laughter]''\\
'''slowbeef''': Uh...\\
'''Diabetus''': Well ''now'' I can see why you should have the lights off when you play this.\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughter]'' Another recommendation: "Don't really ''look'' at it while you're playing, just keep your eyes unfocused."\\
'''Diabetus''': "We recommend you try not to laugh as you play this horror game."
** At one point, an enemy jumps out of a closet while the player tries to pick a lock with a pin. The goons had fun with the sudden whiplash.
* From [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4SFtIayovY their Retsufrash]] on ''Metroid Elements'': "This Let's Play is brought to you by the letter C!"
** Moreover:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Ask me if [[SequenceBreaking shinesparking]] makes an appearance in this game.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Does shinesparking make an appearance in this game, slowbeef?\\
'''slowbeef:''' LORD, NO!
** The first 20 seconds of gameplay:
-->'''slowbeef:''' WELCOME TO METROID ELEMENTS! ''[Samus falls into an BottomlessPit]'' Oh... there are... OneHitKill pits in here...
** Samus' dying screams:
-->'''slowbeef:''' What did you think of that fight, Samus?\\
''[Samus screams]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' I understand.
* And when you're done with that, follow it up with ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWTWfz4-YBc Metroid; Beginings]]'' [''sic''], in which the duo discovers a candidate for the most ObviousBeta ever. You can hear slowbeef going mad reading the Newgrounds [[FourPointScale reviews]].
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsGOxUhaCLM Metroid Prime: Corrupted]]'', Upon Samus dying, her silhouette features an...interesting design choice.
-->'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughs]'' Why did Samus wear her G-string to the Fulpian Research Institute?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Well, you know, she hasn't done her laundry in a while...
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzPrmc4kVCo Retsufrash is Art]]'': Diabetus' reaction to [[spoiler: the player-character crossing the DespairEventHorizon and committing suicide]].
-->'''Diabetus''': SPRING BREAK! WOO! ALRIGHT! SIGH!
** "Sigh..." "Sigh, sigh..."
** They have a little fun with a moment where text pops up after a certain threshold.
-->''Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming Katy I'm coming''
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TttcEFhFYdk A Son's Revenge]]'', a little Oedipus-inspired animation. Slowbeef and Diabetus end up seriously creeped out.
** At one point, the son gives his father "pain treatment" - shooting him in the arms. The fact that father [[NoSell barely flinches]] causes this response:
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''*as the father*'' [[YouFightLikeACow You shoot like a fag, son.]]
* The entire retsufrash of TheTrappedTrilogy could count.
** From ''Trapped'':
*** The TitleDrop at the very beginning.
-->'''Character:''' Why do I feel so...trapped?\\
'''Proteus:''' Oh, I see what you did there.\\
'''slowbeef:''' I can't believe they actually did that.
*** The [[MoonLogicPuzzle finger puzzle]]:
-->'''Character:''' Benjamin...Greunbaum? Is that my name?\\
'''slowbeef:''' What are you reading? Look There's a fucking ''finger'' in your wallet!\\
'''Proteus:''' No shit! I mean, like, 'oh, let me read this before I happen to look slightly to my left and notice, A FINGER!'\\
'''Character:''' I noticed a finger in my wallet. That is disgusting!\\
'''Proteus:''' And it's slightly nauseating.\\
...\\
'''Character:''' It was the finger I found in the wallet. It felt heavier than a normal finger.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh, a heavy finger. I know what to do with ''that''. We burn it!\\
'''Character:''' Very interesting. As I burned the skin off the finger, I found a metal piece. The finger was artificial.\\
'''Proteus:''' ''[laughing]'' You-you couldn't just peel the flesh back or something, you had to ''burn flesh''! Was it still bloody, I mean, what?
*** "Why is she pulsating? Why is she fucking pulsating?!"
** From ''Pursuit'':
*** '''''"DABOMB?!"''''' "DABOMB" with a Jesus fish? What the fuck does this even ''mean''?
*** "Did you just ''pocketknife'' through a concrete wall!?"
*** proteus' reaction to a girl being locked INSIDE a car. his mind is so utterly destroyed by such a ridiculous notion that he's reduced to incoherent babbling.
*** Their reaction to the fishing rod puzzle.
-->'''slowbeef''': Let's see...we have a rope. What can we combine that with to make a fishing rod?\\
'''Proteus:''' The banana!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[chuckles]'' Ummm...\\
'''Proteus:''' Is it really the banana? Please tell me it's the banana!\\
'''slowbeef:''' It's the banana!\\
'''Proteus:''' Oh my God! Is it really the banana? \\
'''slowbeef:''' Yeah! ''[combines rope and glue]'' We have a gluey rope and now we're going to glue a banana onto it!\\
'''Proteus:''' Oh my God! We're going to use a banana! You know what strikes me as something we could have used? The ''screwdriver''...that we just threw away for some fuckin' reason.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[Combines "gluey rope" with the banana]'' There, now we've got a-\\
'''Proteus:''' That doesn't even-what the fuck?\\
'''slowbeef:''' Wait, but that's not enough-it's not a fishing rod yet.\\
'''Proteus:''' It certainly is not a fishing rod, I'm not gonna lie.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Now we need to add a pocketknife to it, to make it a real fishing rod.\\
'''Proteus:''' This is the worst fishing rod!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[Combines pocketknife with "gluey banana rope"]'' Look at how it's combined when it's completed now!\\
'''Proteus:''' You're going to get some sort of retard [[VideoGame/CommanderKeen dopefish]] to grab this thing! I mean, what kind of an ''idiot''...\\
'''slowbeef:''' Look at it! ''[uses fishing rod, fish instantly appears in inventory]'' And then we just have a fish!\\
''[The two of them laugh for a few minutes]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Now, I think maybe that might be my favorite part of the series, really, but let's see what the old man says when we feed the cat.\\
'''Old man:''' Why thank you young lady, I have no use for this blowtorch of mine. It's empty, though. Here, take it!\\
''[slowbeef and Proteus erupt into hysterics]''\\
'''Proteus:''' [[BigWhat WHAT?! WHAT?!]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' He gives her...an empty ''blowtorch!!'' ...for a ''fish!!''\\
'''Proteus:''' You know, I was gonna say 'We just used six inventory items to get that fish. It better be a goddamned good reward!' I was not expecting ''that'' as our reward! That was worth it!
** From ''Escape'':
*** "Oh, god. Literally. Oh God."
*** "Oh yeah, I found this very rare, very expensive gold coin. I'm gonna use it to unscrew a toilet lid."
*** The reaction to the sink puzzle and how the room immediately floods.
*** "Let her go, Whitey, you can't have her!" "WHITEY!"
*** The reaction to the [[TwistEnding big]] [[VoodooShark twist]]:
-->'''[=McNeely=]:''' In fact, you are [[spoiler:the leader of Armor Gamsees itself]]!\\
'''Proteus:''' '''''WHAT?!!'''''\\
'''Dialla:''' But... how is that possible?\\
'''Proteus:''' ''Yeah, how IS that even possible?!''
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5QfNv0lhvM Quest for Glory]]'' - As part of the finale of Retsublitz and their 500th video, Diabetus and slowbeef finally take on Meet N'Fuck Kingdom...or more accurately, the people that actually played and reviewed the game. Special guest appearance by [[Manga/SpaceAdventureCobra Rock Knight]]!
-->''"this is my fav meet'n'fuck ever and my cock is huge"''\\
'''slowbeef:''' I can think of ''half'' the information that was necessary for that review.\\
...\\
''"this game made me hard so bad [2.5/5 stars]"''\\
'''Diabetus:''' I mean, does he not ''like'' getting hard? "This game made me hard so bad, '''GODDAMMIT! I HATE BEING HARD!'''"\\
...\\
''"good that is great haha my lptop [sic] is full of cum"''\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''Full? How are you typing that? How is your laptop working?''\\
...\\
''"Boner! I got a boner on every woman and beat it. I LOVE THIS FUCKING GAME!!!"''\\
''"Best Ending! if only it where real life"''
** At the beginning, they discuss the different Meet'N'Fuck games and the genres they belong to. At the end, slowbeef finds one called Meet'N'Fuck Star Mission. His reaction is priceless.
---> '''slowbeef:''' I got [a related game called] "Hentai Bliss [=RPG=] Two" ''and'' "Hentai Bliss [=RPG=]."\\
'''Diabetus:''' I got "Hentai Bliss [=RPG=] Four." ''Four''.
** At [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5QfNv0lhvM#t=21m19s some point]], Diabetus tries to read the next review, but immediately dissolves into laughter with slowbeef before he can continue.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Wrongpuraes]]
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIudlLzDEy8 Anime Easter Egg Hunt Adventures]]'', their Strahl Wrongpurae. The entire game could be summed up as one BigLippedAlligatorMoment after another.
** The duo's constant jokes about the main character's ridiculous pompadour hairstyle.
** The crystals all being in the exact same location.
** The God character's voice experiences an incredible amount of lag.
-->'''God:''' ''(inaudible due to lag, and the goons laughter)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Are you alright...lord?\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(imitating God, and speaking slowly)'' Is this thing on?\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(also imitating God)'' Damn you, religious microphone!\\
'''God:''' ''(says something else, which is also inaudible due to the lag)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' What?\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(laughs)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(as God)'' The 3DO, ladies and gentlemen!\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(as God)'' Please adjust your TV antenna.\\
...\\
'''God:''' ''(inaudible, as usual)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Wha?\\
'''Diabetus:''' God, do you wanna try that again?\\
'''slowbeef:''' God, is this the best audio compression you've got?\\
''(a shot of the protagonist)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(laughs)'' God, do you know a good hairdresser?\\
'''Diabetus:''' And if you do, just e-mail me, don't tell me.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(laughs)''\\
'''Diabetus:''' His e-mails come through one word at a time.
** A goblin moving its legs as though it needs to pee before being killed by the hero.
** The protagonist somehow forming a sword from a light coming from his chest.
-->''(a villain is attempting to stab the player character in his chest, which is glowing for some reason)''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Keep away from my glowing heart! ''(the protagonist appears to be pulling something from the light)'' What?\\
''(The protagonist pulls a sword made of light from his chest)''\\
'''Diabetus:''' What? Uh, oh yeah, I forgot I could do that.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh, yeah, that's a power I totally have. That's chest-heart sword.\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's the Strahl, bro!
** The duo's commentary over the part where the protagonist fights a bunch of mirror clones of himself.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rSagGwWTVM Character Assassination - Authorized]]'', their long-awaited ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM'' Wrongpurae. From Samus's [[DullSurprise spiritless voice]] to Adam's [[UnfortunateImplications questionable treatment]] on Samus, this leads to many hilarious moments.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Don't let this game get produced! Shoot everything! Don't give anything a chance to render!\\
'''slowbeef:''' If only.
** Or that time where slowbeef and Diabetus introduce the Bottle Ship, as Ridley and a baby (respectively):
-->'''slowbeef:''' This is Sakamoto fanfiction! [[FanonDiscontinuity None of this happened!]] I'm officially declaring it!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Not in my canon!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Not in my canon!
** Diabetus develops foresight:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh God, how will we save Anthony?\\
'''Diabetus:''' If only grappling was authorized.\\
'''Adam:''' ''[over intercom]'' Samus, use of the Grapple Beam is authorized!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus laugh]''
** Diabetus being impressed and slightly creeped out at how well Slowbeef can imitate the soulless monotone Samus voice. Especially since Diabetus is usually the more monotone of the two.
** Unable to identify a LethalLavaLand boss, they decide it's Ridley's best friend, "Fiery Jeff".
** Constantly riffing on how "Theatre Mode" results in a disjointed mess of unconnected clips. And in Part 4 how it has a flashback with narration to events ''that literally just happened''.
** Whenever the [[BoldInflation BOTTLE SHIP (all in capitals)]] appears in the subtitles, they shout '''"BOTTLE SHIP!!"'''
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/earnest-goes-to-anime-5467989 Earnest Goes to Anime]]'': The ''VideoGame/EarnestEvans'' wrongpurae has the guys (and the watchers) in hysterics after just five minutes of gameplay, thanks to the wonky animation of the main character ("based on ''{{QWOP}}''" according to Diabetus), bizarre and improbable physics, a power up [[PoisonMushroom that puts the character to sleep and nothing else]] and the IndyEscape sequence triggering the wrong way.
--> '''Diabetus:''' Follow that boulder, Indy!
** The fact that it manages to make Diabetus, who is usually completely deadpan with his joke deliveries, almost break out into a laughing fit should be a sign about how silly the game ends up getting.
** All of their reactions to the map screen, in fact: the long pauses where nothing happens visually, the questionable knowledge of geography, the many marked cities that are never visited, the inexplicable refusal of the protagonists to fly their plane over the Atlantic Ocean. Hell, once the first level is done and the map screen comes up:
-->'''slowbeef:''' ...wait a minute, did that happen in ''Maine?'' Look at the map!
** The spinning centrifuge thing that spins Earnest around gets them to declare it the greatest game ever.
** A spinning spike trap at one point inspires a terrific reaction:
-->'''Diabetus:''' I think it's broken! [[TheJetsons Jane, stop this crazy thing!]]
** [[OffModel "Why does my back have tits?"]]
** At one point, they notice a scene showing a boat and a car looks familiar to one from LastAlert:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Oh, it's Last Alert.\\
'''slowbeef:''' I wish Guy Kazama would come in and kill this asshole.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Just blow everything up, please.\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Earnest Evans, no one can get a bitcoin!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "No one can hire my feelings", "Even with bitcoins?"\\
'''slowbeef:''' "I'll have to reevaluate that"
** Followed by a CargoShip of the boat and car.
** One of the bosses, a giant fish, is fought on a featureless wraparound battlefield. As this becomes more and more obvious, their reactions become more amused.
** "This is the worst Comic Con I've ever been to!"
** The destruction of the world.
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[ByThePowerOfGrayskull With the power of bitcoin]], ''I purchase pants!''
** And when discussing on what they should title it:
-->'''Diabetus:''' So can we title this video "[[ErnestPWorrell Earnest Goes to Anime]]"?\\
'''slowbeef:''' We can't title it anything else!
** slowbeef swears that another person he showed the video to, upon seeing Earnest's odd animation, asked "Is he supposed to be ''human''?"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPvRI7FS9KI Evite: Your doom; costume mandatory]]: Slowbeef and Diabetus' onslaught of jokes and puns when the BigBad turns into a crocodile...dragon...fetus...thing.
-->'''Diabetus''': ''{doing a whiny kid's voice}'' I'll attack you with my indigestion! It's gonna hurt! If you just stop kneeling, you big meanie!
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19zjhSmd598 Game of Crones]]'', the play through of ''VideoGame/KingsQuestVII'', featuring LetsPlay/PsychedelicEyeball. They freeze on a hilariously poorly-drawn face the queen makes in the opening cutscene and reuse it throughout. There's quite a bit.
** Psychedelic Eyeball asks if the game was originally released on the [=CDi=] and Diabetus claims that "[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaCDiGames Any second now, Link will talk about getting his stuff]]." One has to wonder if they're aware that yes, the animated cutscenes were done by ''the same company'' that did the infamous Zelda [=CDi=] game cutscenes.
** In Episode 2, slowbeef starts explaining where Valanice fits within the King's Quest royal family... then gets "distracted" and mixes up their genealogy with that of the [[ASongOfIceAndFire Lannisters and the Starks]].
** All of the references to ProtonJon's Notte Luminosa LP when he guest stars.[[labelnote:Explanation:]]ProtonJon, along with a few others, LP'd the Mario ROMHack Notte Luminosa because its creator claimed to suffer from leukemia and have only a few weeks to live and it was his dying wish that it'd be [=LPed=]. Turns out the guy had made all of this up.[[/labelnote]]
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtN3pna4uDQ Episode 3]].
--->'''slowbeef''': Play the video in 3... 2... 1... and play. ''[video starts]'' So fake cancer, you fell for that, really?\\
'''ProtonJon''': ''Oh for fuck's sake!''
*** The video description for Episode 4 reads "ProtonJon decided to guest in this video [[NeverLiveItDown after he found out the King's Quest franchise didn't have much time left to live]]."
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97qCRd1I1FY Episode 5]] is a 19-second [[HilariousOuttakes Hilarious Outtake]] that continues this joke. Slowbeef [[{{Corpsing}} couldn't make it]].
*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBkLZoQG4GA&feature=player_detailpage#t=1753s The nearly four minutes of the mocking bird making snide remarks at Valanice]], eventually Slowbeef and Diabetus make the obvious joke at Jon's expense;
---> '''Slowbeef''': *as the mocking bird* If you were a let's player I'd fake cancer so you'd do my Mario Romhack.\\
'''Jon''': GOD DAMMIT, we ''almost'' made it.
** Episode 7 features them slowly losing their sanity at how slow and boring the game is, resulting in them simply imitating [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Bane]] for nearly the entire second half of the video. And near the end, they lose it when [[spoiler: Valanice quickly fills up a river and makes a rainbow appear without having to cry a lot]].
*** At one point, slowbeef [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation theorizes]] that Kuroinokaze is actually a LetsPlay/PewDiePie fan who longplayed King's Quest VII as his form of revenge.
* ''VideoGame/{{Harvester}}: A Darkseed-Like'':
** The entire conversation with Mr. Johnson in Part 2.
** In part 8, slowbeef's wife walks in on the recording. During the sex scene.
** The conversation after Steve tells Stephanie that Mr. Pottsdam ''kidnapped and raped a child'':
-->'''Stephanie:''' Oh, Christ... and all this time I've been under the same roof with that...that thing...watching me!\\
'''Steve:''' Take it easy, okay?\\
'''Stephanie:''' So...at least they'll be coming to take him away, wont they?\\
'''The Only Dialog Option:''' BYE
** Part 9 starts off with the infamous [[EyeScream baby scene]]. Even the normally imperturbable Diabetus is speechless.
-->'''Slowbeef:''' Harvester! So let me just ask you, ''did you see that coming?'' Because I forgot all the fuck about that.\\
'''Diabetus:''' How could you forget ''that''?\\
'''slowbeef:''' There's a lot that goes on in this game. I'll just put it that way.
* Episode three of ''[[VideoGame/IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream I Have No Idea, But I Must Play]]'' has the two playing Nimdok's scenario... while Diabetus [[ComicallyMissingThePoint pretends to have no idea of what the setting actually is,]] and Slowbeef tries to distract him from figuring it out. [[spoiler:He nearly gets it at the nineteen minute mark, but Slowbeef turns his attention to an inflatable cat.]]
--> '''slowbeef:''' Do you think any German people watching this are upset with my fake accent?\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's controversial.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Well it's [[IncrediblyLamePun not, see.]] [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud I mean it isn't, y'know.]]
** Episode six gives us this CallBack:
---> '''Gorrister:''' Death. This place smells like death. I've smelled it a thousand times the past 109 years.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''(mimicking Gorrister's voice)'' This is like a whole ''[[VideoGame/{{Darkseed}} hall ]]''[[VideoGame/{{Darkseed}} of it]].
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JohM4UZkcLg The Ingenious Anime of La Mancha]]'', their Wrongpurae of a...[[MindScrew rather loose interpretation]] of ''DonQuixote'' called SuperDonQuixote.
** The [[EstablishingSeriesMoment establishing moment of the game]]:
--->'''slowbeef:''' Umm...are you a well-read person, Diabetus?\\
'''Diabetus:''' I'd like to think so.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Have you ever read ''The Tale of Don Quixote?''\\
'''Diabetus:''' I've not read it, but I'm a little familiar with the legend.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Well, we're going to be seeing it now.\\
''(The game shows a princess being carried away by a flying green gargoyle creature)''\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[SarcasmMode Yeah, this looks pretty true to it so far]].\\
'''slowbeef:''' Yeah, the lizard, flying goat.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Yeah, the flying gargoyle...thing and Don Quixote was a blonde white dude. ''(The game shows a [[Disney/SleepingBeauty Maleficent]] expy)'' And that's Sancho Panza.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''(laughs, as the game shows Don Quixote fighting [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext rocket-powered totems]])'' And that's the rocket totem.\\
'''Diabetus:''' That's the author doing a self-insert, clearly.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2ocE19YWhs Jack Slate's First Day on the Force]]'' is twenty minutes of pure hilarity as the Retsupurae duo mock every last thing about ''VideoGame/CrimePatrol''.
-->''[an undercover cop shoots the bags of cocaine in a drug deal he and the player stopped]''\\
'''slowbeef and Diabetus''': ''[laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus''': Is that how that... that works now?\\
'''slowbeef''': ''You just destroyed the evidence!''\\
'''Diabetus''': ''[chuckle]'' '''"I fuckin' hate COCAINE!"'''\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughter]'' There isn't anything left to prosecute with!\\
'''Diabetus''': He didn't even read the cocaine its rights.\\
'''slowbeef''': ''[laughter]''
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/journey-to-the-exit-of-the-arcade-5531176 Journey to the Exit of the Arcade]]'' is full of hilarious lines, but about halfway through wherein they start ''mocking the raptors'' is pure comedy gold.
** The duo keeps giving raptors [[Funny/{{Slowbeef}} the Ridley voice]].
-->'''Diabetus:''' Are we in a parking lot or falling down an elevator shaft?\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think we're in a server room now.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Powered by ''dinosaurs?'' Are they running on a little gerbil wheel to power every... electricity?\\
'''slowbeef:''' It's UNIX! They know this! ''[in Ridley voice]'' "First we learn the doors, then we learn command-line scriptin'! ''[[KilledMidSentence AAGH!]]''"\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[also in Ridley voice]'' "PC gamin'! Aagh!"\\
''[short pause as the two chuckle]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in Ridley voice]'' "Macbook? Fuck that! ''Aagh!''"
** When they encounter the giant boulder.
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[ContinuityNod Oh, it's that thing from]] ''[[ContinuityNod Earnest Evans]]''.\\
''[slowbeef starts laughing]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' It will never stop. ''It can travel in time.''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh my God, wait, you realize what that means? We're in Maine!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, ''no!'' That explains everything! No wonder everyone wants to leave.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in Ridley voice]'' "[[Creator/StephenKing You guys read my new novel?]] Aagh!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[laughs]'' Is that the boulder talking?\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughs]'' No, that was the raptor that we shot. He was just really quick; you couldn't see him.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, I thought the boulder was just very literary.
** Immediately after the boulder, the Ridley voice becomes HilariousInHindsight as the vehicle falls off a bridge and the player has to shoot at [[AcrophobicBird falling pterodactyls]].
** Their confusion at the T-Rex's illogical behavior once the vehicle comes to a stop.
** Slowbeef realizing he had been saying "Stegosaurus" rather than "Triceratops" the whole episode.
-->'''slowbeef:''' Well, they're never gonna let me live that one down. I might as well quit like LetsPlay/BillyMC.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z7QnaYiY8w&feature=g-all-u&context=G22b69c4FAAAAAAAACAA King's Quest V: Absinthe makes the game more tolerable]] makes the duo imagine the story of [[VideoGame/KingsQuestVAbsenceMakesTheHeartGoYonder the game]] being told by a grumpy and absent-minded grandfather to his nephew, who is quick to pounce on plot holes and questionable game design choices.
** Their reaction to [[BearsAreBadNews the bear]] [[HaveANiceDeath death]], and Kuroinokaze (the original recorder) anticipating many game overs with an inherently funny save file title.
** In session 2, part 4/5, all the hilarity suddenly hits, back-to-back, for a solid minute and fifteen seconds straight. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQawNTREVFU It all starts with Cedric's abrupt capture by a wolf...]]
*** slowbeef and Kuroinokaze end up having [[BigYes the same reaction]] to Cedric's abduction.
** Diabetus' foresight strikes again when he successfully guesses [[GuideDangIt the infamous way to defeat the yeti.]] "[[BigYes YES!]] I'm a master of King's Quest!"
** The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Rz9gb8sNn70#t=2502s final battle]]
** They constantly make jokes about King Graham being a bodybuilding fanatic due to his physique.
** Every reaction to the [[MostAnnoyingSound town music]]. They joke that the [=LPer=]'s repeated visits to the town are deliberate attempts to kill them.
*** And then at the end, Kurinokaze (the longplayer), apparently being a fan of retsupurae, shows them an alternate ending of what happens if you don't save a certain character during the final battle, King Graham dies pretty quickly, then over the game over screen, he edits in a [[NightmareFuel disjointed, evil carnival sounding remix of the town theme.]] The two react about how you would expect them to.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkpKaFOgyoc Let's Play IMDB]]'': slowbeef and Diabetus riff on a longplay of the Playstation game ''Apocalypse'', a game whose only apparent selling point is Bruce Willis starring. This promps them to spend 15 minutes going down Willis' IMDB page to come up with a HurricaneOfPuns involving the titles of every single thing Bruce Willis has ever worked on on any capacity. HilarityEnsues (mostly of the SoUnfunnyItsFunny variety)
** Eventually they run out of Bruce Willis stuff and just start using ''random movie and TV show titles''. '''''[[OverlyLongGag For the rest of the video.]]'''''
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-long-look-at-last-alert-5025355 Let's Take a Long Look at Last Alert]]'': The hour-and-a-half long RP of a commentary-free longplay of LastAlert by slowbeef and Diabetus is rife with the stuff, as should be expected by anyone who knows of the game. Especially their reaction to boss conversations.
** When the hero confronts the president's kidnapper:
-->'''Boss:''' The President is an important guest for us too, you know. I can't let him go.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[imitating the boss]'' I love him.\\
'''Guy Kazama:''' ''[through gritted teeth]'' [[HoYay That makes me want to get him back]] [[LargeHam even more!]]\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus erupt into laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Is this some weird love triangle that we stepped in?
** When the hero meets Blue:
-->'''Blue:''' This river's gonna turn red with your blood!\\
'''Guy Kazama:''' How interesting. But it's going to be ''your'' blood, not mine!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus crack up]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Good comeback, general!\\
'''Diabetus:''' You're a general, a general of wordplay perhaps!
** Or when the hero approaches the BigBad which offers a WeCanRuleTogether speech:
-->'''Guy Kazama:''' Garcia, ''nobody'' can hire my feelings!!!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus collapse into laughter again]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[BigWhat WHAT???]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' That's the line of the game for me, I think.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Alright, uh... I'm gonna put my feelings on eBay and see what happens!\\
'''slowbeef:''' I'm gonna go on freelancer.org for my feelings! ''[laughter]''
** All their reactions to the bizarre idiosyncratic rank titles such as "Metal Soldier", "Tank Buster", and "Corporal".
*** [[spoiler:MARSHAL ARTIST.]]
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/let-s-take-a-sidelong-stare-at-star-strike-5123008 Let's Take A Sidelong Stare At Star Strike]]'': Sci-Fi cheese at its greatest.
** Not to mention the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1QrCrx6IIg video]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlqvOCMRgNg remixes]] it spawned.
* [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-5908537 Mortal Kombat Mythologies:]] [[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/mortal-kombat-mythologies-sub-par-part-2-2-5910644 Sub Par]], the longplay video for VideoGame/MortalKombatMythologiesSubZero.
** The beginning of the wind level where Sub-Zero humorously defeats a {{Mook}} (described as Baraka minus the teeth).
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''[imitating the Mook]'' My guardpost is lonely-Ahh!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Only 8 experience for that combo? Bullshit!\\
''[Sub-Zero pushes the frozen Mook off a platform and the goons crack up]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Thank you, [=RickyC=]!
** When the player makes it to the bridge level, the robot bridge guards keep getting less original and more ridiculous. As they ponder what weapon the last one will have, the player finally approaches [[spoiler:a humanoid guard riding a fire breathing Tyrannosaurus Rex]]. Needless to say, the duo were shocked.
-->'''Diabetus:''' You know what sucks, though? After you beat this [[spoiler:dinosaur]], you have to fight one that [[spoiler:breathes]] Gatling gun bullets.\\
'''slowbeef:''' You know what sucks is how the hell do you top this? What could the next boss possibly be?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Make the game fun. That would top this!
** Diabetus discusses the "[[PaletteSwap originality]]" of the characters with slowbeef, who then lists off '''[[TheLongList every single clone in the series]]'''. Made even funnier by the fact that he didn't even mention [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg Ermac]] until later in the video.
** The particularly confusing endgame - as Sub-Zero gets Quan Chi's health down, [[spoiler:Sareena (one of the three demon girls from earlier) rushes in and punches him into a pit.]] Then [[spoiler:Shinnok]] shows up as the TrueFinalBoss, and after Sub-Zero gets the amulet back from him [[spoiler:he goes OneWingedAngel into a strange, poorly-rendered dinosaur-thing.]] The goons' reactions are only made funnier by the longplayer [[spoiler:[[EleventhHourSuperpower spamming the previously-unseen]] SmartBomb move.]]
-->'''slowbeef:''' That amulet was the only thing keeping me from looking stupid!
** Immediately afterwards, Sub-Zero runs through the portal and falls flat on his face, capping off the scene.
--> '''Diabetus:''' Sub-Zero, you klutz!
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqYVojNq0gM Neither Good Noir Interesting]]'', a riff on Cyberdreams' swan song ''Noir: A Shadowy Thriller'', which they quickly find to be neither shadowy nor thrilling.
** The main character's ability to solve crime is questionable, as it mostly consists of sneaking into a place he receives a tip about, rummaging through garbage, and leaving once he has enough evidence, without any indication that he actually accomplished anything.
** Their very quick annoyance at the fact that almost everything that happens is accompanied by a ScareChord or some other kind of dramatic musical sting, including any time you open a drawer or look into a bedroom to see dirty clothes.
** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AdfFaPwr1M part 6]], the main character sinks a cargo ship ''which he just found to contain uranium.'' They keep pointing out how needlessly dangerous that was towards the harbor.[[note]]A commenter noted that it's probable [[RealityIsUnrealistic the ship would have prevented too much radiation from escaping,]] but it was still pretty reckless.[[/note]]
** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tamLi2NygQ part 10]], Diabetus' video stops playing while slowbeef's continues. The commentary continues for nearly a full minute before either of them notices, highlighting just how little is actually going on.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGkDoYQdzxc Open House Hero]]'', an inestimably dull 'survival horror' FMV game that attempts to make ''VideoGame/GuitarHero'' mechanics into a horror game. It...doesn't work.
** The actress' laughably terrible acting generates quite a few laughs.
** The death reel at the end, with every death featuring the same ScareChord and StockScream, with no effort made to match up the scream with the actress' lip movements.
*** In the first death scene, she's clearly trying very hard not to [[{{Corpsing}} corpse]].
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4XZXJE20-k Photography Killer]]'': The killer running. Full stop.
** Even more amusing when [[http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n228/freezing_ice_kirby/Run2.gif juxtaposed]] with ''VideoGame/{{Darkseed}} II[='=]''s intro.
** At one point, we get a confusing scene where the killer apparently talks to his split personality...or something.
-->'''slowbeef:''' I think the game is more psycho than the killer!
** slowbeef's bewilderment at the credits:
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh go fuck yourself! KEY GRIP? ENGINEER?\\
'''Diabetus:''' CHIEF engineer? "And I was 1st lieutenant!"\\
'''slowbeef:''' RESEARCH CONSULTANT? "How hard do I have to hit a man with a stick for him to die?"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "Hey Chief Research Consultant! Weather normally changes like this, right?"
** The death reel introduces us to the killer's penchant for hideous one-liners and bizarre facial expressions.
-->'''Killer:''' Hang up...''forever''.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Hang up, forever? Seriously? Shut the fuck up.\\
---\\
'''Killer:''' ''PREPARE TO DIEEE!''\\
(the killer spins around the main character, with the last shot being his goofy facial expression and arms flung out to the side)\\
'''slowbeef (laughing):''' That's the final thing you saw before you died.\\
'''Diabetus (imitating the killer):''' Either die or ''dance with me!''
* ''Real Estate Headaches'': The VideoGame/DarkSeed wrongpurae, where every new room Mike Dawson enters in his newly-purchased house just increases their incredulity as to why anyone would actually buy this moldering money pit.
-->'''slowbeef:''' ''[as Mike]'' "Yeah, it's roomy, and I like the way the air just flows into the attic through the open windows, that are broken!"
** "At least the lawn doesn't need mowing."
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V48J035WitQ Resident Seavil]]'', a longplay of SegaSaturn title ''VideoGame/DeepFear'', almost doesn't ''need'' Retsupurae's commentary, with its [[SoBadItsGood terrible yet amusing voice acting]] and the characters' awkward facial expressions. It does help make the game even more hilarious, though, particularly during the lengthy down times.
** The near ''reverence'' the goons hold for the repeatedly-used elevator FMV can get rather amusing by the third video in. Even more amusing when slowbeef starts getting tired of it by five videos in.
** Slowbeef and Diabetus have a lot of fun with how everyone brushes off the monsters appearing early in the game, not knowing ''why'' everyone's taking it in stride. Then, between parts 1 and 2, a viewer points out that the game had an April Fools' prank at the very beginning, and ''that'' was the reason - since it's April Fools' Day, John's superiors think he's pulling a prank of his own. The two goons proceed to have a lot ''more'' fun with this flimsy explanation.
** The various AlternateCharacterInterpretations the two come up with:
*** John Mayor is a baby-faced goofball who loves catching things, but [[spoiler:given the late-game body count, couldn't save even ''a Word document'' if his life depended on it]].
*** Mooky, your sidekick early in the game, has a terrible knowledge of sports despite being obsessed with them (based off of a comment about "the Yankees of '96"). They're so enamored with the character that they keep mimicking him [[spoiler:''well'' after he's killed early on]].
*** Anna, a buff black woman in the apartment complex, immediately becomes a MemeticBadass.
*** Clansy [sic], the head of the Big Table, is revealed in part 4 to have [[spoiler:accidentally blown up a civilian cruise ship during a Navy mission (or intentionally, it's rather vague), starting off a war,]] in a very off-hand remark he makes. He's ''immediately'' considered by the two to be [[spoiler:anywhere between the game's BigBad, the most irredeemable character in the game]]. The best part? He thinks ''he's'' the victim. This completely derails the commentary between jabs at Clansy and debilitating laughter from Slowbeef.
--->'''Diabetus (as Clansy):''' "I mean, I ''said'' "Oops"!"
** John's haphazard catching of a keycard elicts quite a few laughs from the duo.
** The duo discover a gold mine of comedy when John is sent on a FetchQuest for... a gum-gun. Even the way it ''sounds'' is hilarious.
--->'''Slowbeef''': So, are we thinking one monster or two here?
--->'''Diabetus''': I'm thinking gum-gun.
** ''Everything'' involving the Big Jim underwater suit. To start with, slowbeef misreads the "Big Jim Parts" room as "Big Jim Pa'''n'''ts" (which the two run with later on). Then, John finally gets to ''use'' the suit in part 6... with almost no animation to speak of (movement is done by floating the model up a bit and tilting forward), and the slowest movement imaginable. The two are quick to assign what they call an "[[Franchise/WinnieThePooh Eeyore voice]]" to his underwater escapades.
** Later, John fights a mutated cow that gets stuck in the wall almost as soon as the battle starts, and appears to deflate when it dies. The goons were amused by how goofy the battle was.
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/retsupurae-3000-5187175 Retsupurae 3000]]'': The RiseOfTheDragon Wrongpurae, there's the bit where the Blade Hunter sleeps for ''days'' without doing anything. Slowbeef goes hysterical.
-->'''slowbeef:''' It took an hour to get here, but it was fuckin' worth it. This game is wonderful.
** What makes that truly hilarious is that this is his immediate response to finding out that [[spoiler:his girlfriend has been kidnapped by the villains]].
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/space-adventures-1-7-actual-adventures-contain-little-to-no-space-5717873 Space Adventures!]]''[[hottip:*:actual adventures contain little to no space]]
** In part 2/7, chuckles are had over the fact that Cobra's freaked by what appear to be ''caterpillars''.
---> "Get Mike Dawson here, this guy's too much of a pussy!"
*** Cobra's reaction to the caterpillars makes it even better.
--->'''slowbeef:''' "What am I, a scaredy-cat? Yup, you know it pal!" ''[laughter]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' This is our hero, really?
** Their reaction to the BigLippedAlligatorMoment band in the ruins (2/7), and turning almost immediately "Rock Knight" into a MemeticBadass and wishing they could play as him instead of Cobra, so much that when in 6/7 [[spoiler: Rock Knight is seemingly killed offscreen]] Slowbeef immediately declares it non-canon.
** The lengthy Crazy Joe escape sequence (straddling 3/7 and 4/7), consisting of a stupidly large number of Go On/Go Back messages on a black background, followed by what can only be described as RandomEncounters. [[spoiler:FIRE DRAGON! Wolf wheels! The Deathball!]] The two brainstorm their own enemy ideas, and point out how the strategy for every battle is the exact same, as is the dialogue afterward.
** As Cobra escapes from prison (5/7), a loud alarm repeatedly sounds (and cuts off for no reason), which instantly annoys the viewers. But then the villains discover the escape and, while the original alarm is still going, the man in charge yells "Sound the alarm!" This results in two alarms at the same time. They crack up.
** Their reaction to a YouHaveFailedMe scene that somehow manages to ignore the fact that it takes place inside a falling building that should be colliding with the ground any second.
-->''[Crystal Boy kills Schultz and his two guards]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' ...And crash!
** Their reaction to Cobra's rescue of Kathy, where [[spoiler:he kills a man by shooting a missile next to him]].
*** Cobra asks Kathy about the treasure:
-->'''Kathy:''' Treasure? There's no treasure. Father told us he found something really horrible!\\
'''Diabetus:''' It's called Cobra: Space Adventure!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughter]''
*** On the subject of Kathy, Cobra [[spoiler:mourning her corpse]]:
-->'''Cobra:''' Sleep well, my sweet child.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[laughter]'' Cobra! Cobra, you don't know who she is! This is so inappropriate!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Sleep well, my soulmate.
** Tarbeige deflecting Cobra's shot, resulting in [[spoiler:Duck's head exploding]]. Slowbeef loses it.
** This exchange during the battle at the temple (6/7).
--> '''[[AccidentalInnuendo The Fister]]:''' ...You can carry my name with you 'til the end of time: [[FailOSuckyname Hammerbolt Joe]]!
--> ''[slowbeef laughs]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' I'm, erm, very sorry to hear that.\\
'''slowbeef:''' God, of all the things that his name could've been, I am the happiest that that was it.\\
'''The Fister:''' [[BigWhat What?]]\\
''[Statue rises]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "THAT'S THE DUMBEST GODDAMNED NAME I'VE EVER HEARD!"\\
'''slowbeef:''' "ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S WOKEN ME UP FROM MY SLUMBRER!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "ONLY SOMEONE SO STUPID COULD AWAKEN ME."\\
'''slowbeef:''' "ARE YOU EVEN NOTICING ME? I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!"\\
''[Statue does pose similar to Music/{{Beyonce}}'s 'Single Ladies' stance]''\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus laugh hard]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[wacky clown laugh]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "[[SassyBlackWoman Oh, no you di'n't, girlfriend!]]"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "I don't think so!"\\
'''slowbeef:''': "Hammerbolt Joe, I don't think so! Look at this giant [foot]."\\
'''Diabetus:''' "I would triple-snap yo ass if I had adequate frames!"
** Cobra's 'eulogy' and subsequent actions for [[spoiler:Jane]] (6/7).
--> '''Cobra:''' I'm sorry, [[spoiler:Jane]]. We won't be seeing each other again.\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus laugh]''\\
'''Cobra:''' You'll be going onto the reward you deserve, but it's not a place where I'll be welcome.\\
'''slowbeef:''' The finest eulogy for [[spoiler:Jane]]!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Standing ovation.\\
'''Both:''' ''[{{slow clap}}]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[TemptingFate And that's it.]]\\
''[Cobra poses dramatically]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "I PART THE OCEAN TO BURY [[spoiler:JANE]]!"\\
'''Cobra:''' There's no hope left for me. May the powers of Hell now be set free!\\
'''Both:''' What?\\
'''Diabetus:''' '''Excuse''' me?\\
'''Cobra:''' May all the grief that exists in my body... Gather strength and focus on this assault!\\
'''slowbeef:''' What are you, summoning [[CthulhuMythos Cthulhu]]?!\\
'''Diabetus:''' That is the most awkward 21-gun salute.\\
'''Cobra:''' RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Oh! I'm sorry, you wanted me to play Chopin. My bad!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "[[AC:AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH MY MIGRAINE IS STILL BOTHERING ME!]]"\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh my God, you're right! He is doing a 21-gun salute... Wait, ''what''?\\
'''Diabetus:''' "Anyway, that's over with."\\
''[Doctor Light shows up]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "And now I'm here."\\
'''Diabetus:''' Wah. Woah. "Cobra, that was terrible."\\
'''slowbeef:''' *Laughs* "That was the most disrespectful thing I've ever seen!"\\
'''Diabetus:''' "Seriously, what was that grunt thing that you did?"
** Everything they have to say about the name, existence and logistics of [[spoiler:Neon Big Bird]]. It receives the Ridley voice ''immediately''.
** In 7/7, Parrot Grass [[spoiler:the spy]], and all the speculation afterwards. "MY NAME IS-" [[KilledMidSentence *BOOM*]]
*** The entirety of TheReveal qualifies, with perfect comedic timing on the parts of the Retsupuraers. The {{Narm}}ful PreAssKickingOneLiner from Cobra, the UnEvilLaugh that becomes an OverlyLongGag without quite becoming tiresome, the {{Sting}} out of nowhere, and [[spoiler:the OneWingedAngel form that lasts just long enough to get a reaction]].
** The final confrontation with Crystal Boy (also 7/7), especially how it ends.
-->'''Diabetus:''' I didn't think ''[[RocketPunch that]]'' would work.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Fuck this game!
** "I'm pretty smug about it being three o'clock."
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZAWAqyjedo Spewgen]]'' and ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuCT7CuEIz0 3DO: Fatality]]'', two riffs on ''[[VideoGame/ShadowWarOfSuccession Shadow: War of Succession]]'', a low-budget ''VideoGame/MortalKombat'' knockoff for the [[ThreeDOInteractiveMultiplayer 3DO]]. The first video is a playthrough that ends early because, as explained in the comments, the game froze before the final fight. The second is simply a pair of match videos with commentary. This does not stop either one of the Retsupurae videos from being hilarious. Highlights include:
** The poorly-rendered intro sequence in which a man is assassinated with an ''[[NoKillLikeOverkill attack helicopter]]'' [[FailedASpotCheck without anyone else noticing]].
** The duo's reactions to the ''character select screen''.
** Carlos and Sasha's intro speeches, which cause both riffers to [[{{Corpsing}} burst into laughter]].
** The riffs on Sasha's dizzy animation, where she simply nods her head over and over.
** The ridiculous announcer voice whenever it yells "FIGHT!" gets several laughs. They can't decide whether it's a talking dog, a guy trying to clear his throat, or a robot made out of a rusty battleship.
** The match between Gabriella and Viper, which devolves into Gabriella spamming her ducking kick over and over.
** Erika's [[ShoutOut shout out]] to [[Film/ThePrincessBride The Princess Bride]] elicits a comment that sums up the game.
-->'''Diabetus:''' It's fitting because this game is inconceivable.
* ''Terrible Sequel Headaches'': The ''[[VideoGame/DarkSeed DarkSeed 2]]'' wrongpurae replaces bad housing with Mike Dawson suddenly becoming the most pathetic person on Earth.
--> '''Mike:''' I don't want to touch this crate. I'd probably get a splinter or a spider bite.\\
'''Diabetus:''' A splinter ''or'' a spider bite.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Oh my god. ''What a pussy.'' I don't think I've ever seen a nancier video game character than this. I am including [[AmericansHateTingle Tingle]] in that estimation.
** Mike's second visit to the hall of death results in this astute observation:
-->'''Mike Dawson:''' Oh no, not the hall of death again! The only way out of here is death!
** And [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BINXO02RZTY ring toss]].
** The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtrMka0WBKs&t=1m50s epic climax]] of VideoGame/DarkSeed 2: [[spoiler:Mike's mother's head exploding.]] Slowbeef, who knows it's coming, can hardly contain himself in anticipation. Diabetus, who is unaware of it, completely loses it for a minute straight. As Slowbeef says, that makes the last 6 hours of agony all worth it. (It was also part of his reason to keep Diabetus from spoiling any parts before they started the recordings.)
-->'''Mike's Mother:''' Here, Mike. [[BlatantLies This will explain]] ''[[BlatantLies everything]]''[[BlatantLies .]]
** A while earlier, [[spoiler:Mike uses [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext the Dark World magnetic crossbow to rig the ringtoss game]], throws the ring... and misses again because Slowbeef [[OrwellianEditor deliberately spliced in the footage]] [[YankTheDogsChain just to deny Mike Dawson victory]]]]. Watch it [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlsPXh4L8AE#t=2m48s here.]]
** The recurring issues with the longplayer, who constantly goes out of his way to engage in pointless conversations and stare at scenery for no real reason.
-->'''slowbeef:''' Fuck you, longplayer! You're just doing this to fuck with us!
** This comes to a head when, just before [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-oXUOWxOmY the final puzzle]], [[TemptingFate Slowbeef claims that the longplayer is now forced on a linear path to the end]]... ''and he manages to go somewhere else anyway.''
-->'''Diabetus:''' [[PromiseMeYouWontX You promised me!]]
-->'''slowbeef:''' [[CassandraTruth I thought... he didn't...]]
-->'''Diabetus:''' DAWSON!
-->'''slowbeef:''' He's going to let humanity die through thoroughness!
** After you reach the DarkWorld through the mirror maze for the first time, [[AntiFrustrationFeatures you unlock the ability to access the Dark World through the world map]]. The longplayer never realizes this, and consequently goes through the mirror maze every single time he wants to go between worlds. Eventually, after almost six hours, he edits a journey through the mirror maze:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Wait, was there editing there?\\
'''slowbeef:''' Yes, there was editing there.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''*baffled*'' Editing ''what?!'' ''More mirror maze?'' "Wow, I got through that mirror maze a little too quickly. Let me splice in one of my previous mirror maze attempts." What editing did he do? It's like Mike Dawson tries out Windows Movie Maker for the first time.
** Slowbeef making reference to the fact that he could be playing ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamCity'' instead of doing this. Then at one point slowbeef decides to give the viewers his PSN name - only to instead give Proteus' SA handle. And then Diabetus claims that's ''his'' PSN name too.
** Slowbeef and Diabetus decide that the DarkWorld shooting gallery heads are shouting insults at Mike every time he walks by.
--> Loser! Hate you! Get out! Idiot! Dress like a moron! What a jerk! The worst! Why are you here! You'retheonlypersonRitadidn't-! -fuck!
** Shrimp Baby's [[spoiler:new design when it becomes the Colossus, best described as "Skull-snake with buzzsaw sombrero."]]
* ''Throne High'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBItSa2dYmM the]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdgTHU0Ub8U riff]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXc11dbdy6k on]] ''VideoGame/KingsQuestVIHeirTodayGoneTomorrow''.
** The encounter with the oyster.
** In the beginning of Session 2, Alexander talks to a creature. Slowbeef assigns the creature the Ridley voice. [[spoiler:Then the creature speaks in a voice sounding ''almost exactly like it''.]]
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh! ...that was prophetic.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Do you have the power of foresight, Slowbeef?
** ''[[spoiler:[[Series/{{House}} Jollo MD]]]]''. Nuff said.
--->'''Diabetus:''' (In Jollo's voice) We're two adults! Talking like this over the internet! We're recording this with the impression thousands of people will watch it.
** The part where they quote [[TheSilenceOfTheLambs Buffalo Bill]] in Jollo's voice.
** When they discuss the unfairness of the [[ThatOneLevel minotaur's labyrinth]], Slowbeef laments the time he wasted mapping it out when he was young and naive. Diabetus points out how he's currently engaged in the [[SarcasmMode far more productive]] task of mocking an old video game and posting it online. Cue five minutes of laughing and shameless SelfDeprecation while bringing up the Jollo voice AGAIN to show how mature they are.
** Diabetus' parodies of "Girl in the Tower", especially:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Ladies and gentlemen, the "Girl in the Tower"... sung by Jollo.
** If you look at the Blip URL for the first part of the longpurae you'll see Slowbeef named it "Meet n Fuck Kingdom."
*** The Youtube Playlist adds more.
-->"Meet n' Fuck King's Quest [=VI=]"
** As Alexander starts painting a door on a wall to enchant into a real door, Diabetus starts impersonating Bob Ross.
--->'''Diabetus:''' We're going to paint a happy door here. I think all we need is a black outline. And now we take out our magic incantation book. Now to do an enchantment on a painted door you want to... gesture wildly. They're- (Slowbeef starts laughing) They're very happy little gestures we're doing.
* Virtually every single damn second in the ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8QzQp57oI True]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU_f9r3Rcyo Shit]]'' Wrongpurae.
** Especially the saloon sequence, and one particular exchange.
-->'''Cowboy / "The Man With The Cigarette":''' He's done it now. He's killed Evil Eb's littlest brother, and that means trouble.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Who the hell are you?\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[raspy voice]'' I need a throat lozenge. ''[a coroner passes by]'' Oh, excuse me, [[ItMakesSenseInContext retard]] AbrahamLincoln.
** "And now let's go up for a whore! [...] What? We really ''were'' getting a whore? I was ''kidding!''"
** The hero apparently having sex with a prostitute for an entire week, then inexplicably jumping off the balcony on an order to go downstairs, with no adverse effects.
** Their reaction to the TwistEnding.
** The last few minutes where the duo discuss what the title of the video should be.
** [[MundaneMadeAwesome "Give me the HELL out of that drink!"]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqO6X9FRIlc Video Shame]]'', a riff on ''VisualNovel/PlumbersDontWearTies''.
** The {{Fanservice}}y and uncensored[[note]]using a cheat code[[/note]] shower scene, featuring Jane [[spoiler:''and'' John]]. It is censored by slowbeef with increasingly funny text as he finds himself wondering who the game's target audience is supposed to be.
-->'''Censor box:''' I edited this on the bus and am now banned from the bus.
** At one point, the player is presented with the choices "John pursues Jane" or "He plans a vigorous assault later on".
--> '''slowbeef:''' Whoa! What's with option two? What does he, beat the shit out of her?\\
'''Narrator:''' Do girls like guys who are really aggressive? I don't think so.\\
'''Diabetus:''' I don't think aggressive is really the term for that.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Look at our scores. We gained 10,000 points. There's a scoring system in this!\\
'''Diabetus:''' Would you like to ask her on a date, or ''commit a crime?''
** The ending [[spoiler:in which the video abruptly stops with a title card reading "And so, everyone went to jail; THE END".]]
* ''[[http://blip.tv/slowbeef/warning-shinobix-should-not-be-prescribed-to-anyone-anywhere-5563254 Warning: Shinobix should not be prescribed to anyone, anywhere]]'':
-->''[Player obtains a power-up of three bluish spheres, and then does a flashy animation involving several copies of himself flying into him]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "[[MundaneMadeAwesome I JUST ATE GRAPES!]] [[MesACrowd SUMMON MY MULTIPLICITY!]]"
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5evl89KsmLM You've just crossed over into the Evil Zone]]''
** In between levels, Gally and his wife talk to the player as if they were the audience of a television show, and every fight were an episode thereof. One in particular gives the two goons plenty to riff on:
-->'''Gally:''' So... howdy! Sorry about last week. I like booze!\\
''[slowbeef and Diabetus chuckle]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Paul Eiding didn't know he was being recorded at this point.\\
...\\
'''Gally:''' Stage Four: Noisy Girl!\\
'''slowbeef:''' Pfft, oh my god!\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[imitating Gally]'' Let me just rub this vagina out of my face.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Heh heh heh heh. You don't even wanna know why they call her Noisy Girl.\\
'''Diabetus:''' I don't, actually.
** Later, they realise that Kakurine's name can be parsed as [[UnfortunateNames "cock-urine"]] and run with it.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Crappy Pastas]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wZhJ2vGj7E Crappy Pasta]]'', a video where slowbeef reads ''VideoGame/SonicExe'', a {{Creepypasta}} ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'' story, where the most scary descriptions that the author could come up with were in reference to other video games, e.g. "Sonic's laugh sounded just like Kefka from ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI''." The whole thing is made more surreal by the footage it's accompanying: a livestream of Diabetus playing ''Mario 2'' late at night after a few drinks.
** It also led to [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/3b96d468925a6fcd7d11cef7f49e354e/tumblr_mq1gpmqmWK1qet5hfo1_1280.png this image]].
* Crappy Pasta II, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULfT10cLbuo New Super Mario Bros. 2: Ihsoy]] where the author abuses SdrawkcabName every chance he gets, the main villain turns out to be ''[[VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld Reznor]]'' of all things, and the final battle is laden with corny action movie banter and just-as-corny [[IronicEcho Ironic Echoes]]. Notably, this caused the story to be deleted from the creepypasta wiki.
** Slowbeef's constant {{corpsing}} whenever someone gets possessed, especially during Oiram's first appearance. At several points, he sounds like he's in tears.
** It also includes this hilariously {{narm}}y line:
--> "Curiosity killed the cat. Or in this case, curiosity killed ''everyone.''"
** When backwards names go too far: [[SdrawkcabName "Hcaep Ssecnirp."]]
** TheReveal of the main villain:
-->'''slowbeef:''' 'At this point, I thought, "Wow. Reswob has striking resemblance to Reznor."'... ''Reznor?''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Trent Reznor or Mario World Reznor?\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think it's Mario World Reznor-who is Mario World Reznor?\\
'''Diabetus:''' Those rotating rhinos, in all the fortresses.\\
'''slowbeef:''' (beat) [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh god. Ohhh my god]].
* Crappy Pasta III, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ziR3WdNP7U Blood Whistle]], where a man plays a "spooky" ROM Hack of Super Mario Bros 3, featuring the obligatory blood and death. He becomes more depressed at Mario's painful plight than is reasonable for a normal human, to the point where he admits he considers Mario an actual living, breathing human being with emotions. And it ends with [[spoiler:him somehow killing himself with a recorder]]. All set to footage of Diabetus playing Super Mario All Stars.
** The first thing slowbeef sees of the Blood Whistle page is a badly edited picture, which causes him and Diabetus to burst into hysterics.
** The first couple of updates are written normally, but as soon as the author finds the titular blood whistle, he lapses into an absurd level of PurpleProse.
** The narrator writes a very drawn out description of the Blood Whistle's treasure room, describing the surroundings and the music in great detail, and then casually mentions that Toad's head was cracked open.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Again, he puts the most important details second. 'The music was slightly changed-''Toad's head was split open'''.
** At one point, the author wonders if the hack was made by [[spoiler:the ''Illuminati'']], of all things.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYys5o7vwe4 Crappy Pasta IV]] is based on Franchise/MegaMan's "The Yellow Devil." The author seems to consider blood the most inherently frightening thing ever, to the point of being ignorant that ''robots don't bleed''.
** At one point, this happens:
-->'''slowbeef:''' '-and revealed a mangled, ripped apart-'\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''*quickly*'' Blood.\\
'''slowbeef:''' '-blood dre-'\\
''*slowbeef and Diabetus lose it*''\\
'''slowbeef:''' Well done, well done.
** Later, the game makes the narrator's ears bleed with a high-pitched screeching sound. ''He still thinks the game's just hacked''.
** "He puked a Mega Man boss!"
** The CallBack to the second episode and "curiosity killed everyone".
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bupm2z_Cggc Crappy Pasta V]] takes a look at "Mega Man 2: The Ladder to Hell", where the author plays a demonic Mega Man 2 cartridge given to him by his deceased brother. The ending alone makes it all worth it.
** Early on in the video, slowbeef and Diabetus mock the MoodWhiplash of the story moving on quickly from the brother's demise to ''Mega Man 2'':
-->'''slowbeef:''' He got over his dead brother pretty quick...\\
'''Diabetus:''' I mean, it's ''Mega Man 2'', it's classic...\\
'''slowbeef:''' "I can't believe Brandon killed himsel--OH MY GOD, ''VIDEO GAMES!''\\
'''Diabetus:''' "SWEET!"
** Also, the point where the deceased brother [[spoiler:(who is somehow talking to the narrator through the game)]] bluntly tells him to [[spoiler:[[DrivenToSuicide kill himself.]]]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjkquaIoYQU Crappy Pasta VI: My Girlfriend is Mega Man 2]]'' revolves around "Tracy: A Mega Man Ghost Story", wherein the narrator buys a cheap copy of ''VideoGame/MegaMan3'' from Goodwill, only to find that a neglected girl lies within it. The hilarious part of her backstory comes when, after a particularly [[AbusiveParents abusive]] interaction, she snaps and ''beats her parents to death with an [[ImprovisedWeapon NES controller]]'' before [[DrivenToSuicide offing herself]].
--> '''Diabetus:''' No [[RunningGag blood details?]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' There was blood on the controller.
** It also includes the line [[CaptainObvious "There are better ways to make a friend than torturing them!"]]
* The inevitable result of all of these: ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO9tSJR1Zvc Slowbeef's House of Horror]]'', where slowbeef reads an ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'' creepypasta complete with scarecam and creepy music. "Scary" words highlighted from the story keep popping out, like "lag" and "Download", which soon turn into a DeadpanSnarker with phrases like "Try rebooting your router." and "Part 2: The Haunted End User License Agreement (coming soon!)"
--> '''slowbeef:''' "I mounted the .ISO disc using Daemo-- Demo-- '''DEMON''' Tools..."
** Then there was slowbeef's reaction to the protagonist's sudden mood change [[spoiler: not long after his friend's death, which ''he witnessed.'']]
--> '''slowbeef:''' Your friend just [[spoiler: ''died''.]]
** The protagonist describes himself as a hacker, but his grasp of anything related to hacking, or even simple computer knowledge are extremely questionable. He seems to equate knowing how to download torrents with hacking, expresses surprise that the strange download from a shady website was able to steal his Steam information, assumes that a BSOD always indicates a virus, and takes his computer to [=GeekSquad=] when it stops working.
** The author also has a very skewed sense of time, mentioning he finished Oblivion in 2008, that ''ten years'' had passed since then, with the 'new' Oblivion construction kit just being released. At the end, he goes even further, saying he was able to finish college and start a family within a couple of years.
** Slowbeef's air quotes, which get more exaggerated and drawn out every time.
* The second ''Slowbeef's House of Horror'' video, ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcQIEZG-RXQ Recipe of Death]]'', features a creepypasta of, of all games, ''VideoGame/CookingMama''. The idea alone is hilarious, but two moments stand out in particular: when Mama is described as horribly mangled in detail and wearing "the expression she does when you get a bronze medal" in the same sentence; and when the protagonist states after he vomits "in real life and ingame" that this meant "the real me and virtual me had a lot in common." [[spoiler:A bonus at the end reveals that there are cuts in the video because these two moments caused slowbeef to laugh trying to read them.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Webcam Ward]]
* ''[[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/konami-e3-rant.php Extreme Enunciation Expo]]'': Diabetus and slowbeef take on Konami's E3 2010 Press Conference.
-->''"WON. MIWYUN. TWOOPS."''
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gprO2OGJEl4&list=PL2A3A5FFF9CA8C956&index=9 Haunted Investigators Ep #2 Retsuwatch]]'': Webcam Ward takes on [[TheIrateGamer Christopher Bores']] ghost hunting show ''Haunted Investigators'':
-->After the [[{{Padding}} ultra-long]] theme song ends*\\
'''Diabetus:''' Whew, that was an exciting episode.\\
'''Khad:''' Uhh, Diabetus... that was just the intro.\\
'''Diabetus:''' ''[clearly distraught]'' Oh good... good.\\
...\\
'''Bores:''' Tonight, the Haunted Investigators will take on the case of: the Patterson Tower!\\
'''Khad:''' Yeah, the chief really needed this case off his desk.\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in "50s news editor" voice]'' Yeah, I gotta get those jerkoffs on Website/YouTube.\\
'''Khad:''' ''[in a British accent]'': But SIR!\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in "50s news editor" voice]'' Now you listen here! I've got nothing for today's front page! Get those Haunted Investigators on the horn!\\
...\\
''[Bores starts fiddling with a rod shaped object]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' "Well, time to calibrate the ghost stick!"\\
'''Khad:''' "Hey! Why does it say 'douche' when I point it at myself? I ain't no ghost!"\\
...\\
''[Bores takes off his bag and begins searching through it]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[in a whiny voice]'' "Oh...I didn't pack enough ice cream sandwiches..."\\
...\\
'''Caption:''' Tower Grounds. 9:45 PM\\
'''slowbeef:''' [[SarcasmMode Oooh! 9:45 PM. The Witching Hour!]]\\
...\\
''[On the show's credits]''\\
'''Khad:''' "Executive Producer: Christopher Bores". Guess that makes sense... "Editor: Christopher Bores"... "Post Production: Christopher Bores"...\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore He certainly does.]]\\
'''Khad:''' "Music Editor: Christopher Bores". [[SmallNameBigEgo I'm starting to see a pattern!]]\\
''[Credits show "A Special Thanks to all parties involved in making this episode possible"]''\\
'''Khad:''' Wha? [[ItsAllAboutMe He didn't give anyone in the video credit?]]\\
'''Diabetus:''' [[SarcasmMode Another case closed by the Haunted Investigators!]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' ''[[[BrickJoke in "50s news editor" voice]]]'' I give you the biggest case I've ever seen and all you come back with is a bat and a broken camera? Get out of here you bums! And don't let the door hit ya! Waaah!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Retsutalk]]
* In the very first episode, Slowbeef and Diabetus realize that since the podcast consist of the two of them just having conversation, they can't allow themselves to maintain conversations outside of podcasts from now on.
* As slowbeef mentions the plans for his then upcoming wedding, Diabetus comments that he'll give the location of the wedding to their fans and turn the whole event into a Retsupurae convention.
* The entire conversation that follows after ProtonJon mentions that LetsPlay/DeceasedCrab is getting married.
* Throughout episode 8, Dave_O just says whatever comes to his mind in the background.
-->'''Diabetus:''' So do we have anything to plug, [[LetsPlay/{{slowbeef}} Beef]]?\\
'''Dave_O:''' [[HoYay Each other's bodies.]]
* In episode 14, Slowbeef recounts his trip to Thailand, which includes men giving him a backrub as he was using a urinal.
* Towards the start of episode 15, Slowbeef has noticeable difficulty containing his laughter while saying "[[ARareSentence [ProtonJon] got tricked into doing a Mario romhack Let's Play.]]"
* Slowbeef and Diabetus going crazy over Diabetus (supposedly) never shutting up about his disease, in episode 19.
* Episode 20 has a part where slowbeef, Diabetus, and [=CherryDoom=] talk about how, after participating in LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys' tournament on Jon's invitation, they were too tired to walk back to their hotel and decided to take a cab...only for the bellhop to offer them ''a limo that was sitting outside the hotel.''
* Each of the PAX podcasts start with slowbeef, Diabetus, and [=CherryDoom=] reading through {{Craigslist}} listings for people at PAX who want to hook up. At one point, this leads to [=CherryDoom=] sarcastically saying of one of them that she's "hungry for some nerd dick," only for all three of them to crack up in hysterics.
* According to Diabetus, the president of NVGTR hugged them at PAX East 2013.
* Episode 23: ChipCheezum's reaction to watching normal looking people casually buying hentai in public at [=C2E2=].
** And apparently shortly after they got to the convention, Chip's dad called him to ask what hentai was (or more specifically, he wanted to know the word for porn animes and mangas).
** The discussion on the question, "Where do you get your jokes from?"
-->'''[=GeneralIronicus=]:''' "Joke mean word funny laugh ''how''?"\\
'''ChipCheezum:''' "I don't know where jokes come from, but I wanna make jokes so the girl next door'll like me..."\\
'''[=GeneralIronicus=]:''' "If I write... uh, uh, something on a note of paper and I sleep with it under my pillow, will the joke fairy come and add a punchline? ''Will that happen''?"\\
'''ChipCheezum:''' "Can I exchange my punched-out teeth for jokes? What's the exchange rate for creativity? Help!"
* Proton Jon participates in Episode 24 in mid-vacation with TheRunawayGuys.
-->'''Diabetus:''' Proton Jon and the Runaway Guys are recording this from [[VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine Delfino Plaza]].
** In Episode 24, everything from Slowbeef's conversation with LetsPlay/NintendoCapriSun
-->'''Slowbeef:''' (while discussing the InternetBacklash to Nintendo claiming ad revenue from YouTube videos showing footage of their games) So, Tim, are you going to change your account name to "[=GreedyFuckersCapriSun=]"?
-->'''NCS:''' ''(laughs)'' I'll think about it.
** Around 12 minutes, Slowbeef talks briefly about an ex-girlfriend of his:
-->'''Slowbeef:''' That bitch ain't in the house.\\
'''Slowbeef's wife, distant:''' Are you talking about me?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Other]]
* Slowbeef tended to put snarky comments in the tag section before Youtube made them invisible. Some of the funnier ones include:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhYDz2jYh-M A Look Into Ancient LP Technology]] [[hottip:*:let's play super mario world 2010 antiquated LP technology not bad but also unnecessary we suck at identifying accents passports will get revoked because of this video]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6vLf8I_2s Coming this fall...]] [[hottip:*:let's play chrono trigger movie preview smarmy jerk head up own ass coming soon anime nerd]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m_2m03DEXo Execute LP Protocol #2: Dash-Da-Dash]] [[hottip:*:let's play dash-da-dash humanity is no longer needed for LP keep diff down]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUvPebGSrl0 Horror! ...No, that's really the game's name.]] [[hottip:*:let's play retsupurae newgrounds horror what the hell is this garbage]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13UXd1xhEo Let's Play... What the hell is this?]] [[hottip:*:what has to be going through your masked friggin head]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lpw3-XgZuw Retsufrash - Arrival in Hell]] [[hottip:*:retsufrash newgrounds arrival in hell prison puzzles with solutions no human mind would think of]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ou5WTZP8eY Rijno and Darknessthecurse review Brave Fencer Musashi]] [[hottip:*:let's play afterglow come on at least line up the camcorder]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC1SzVR5zeo Super Bummerman 2]] [[hottip:*:let's play super bomberman or is it bummerman i'm sorry coach I'll learn to read please let me football]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-K55PfGRk The Unfair Retsupurae]] [[hottip:*:let's play the unfair platformer hard game how are videos like this considered successful]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7dnofuSMNo This is Kokiri Forest [=[citation needed]=]]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda ocarina of time kokiri forest LP 2.0 [=PiP=] whada deku scrub]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwmpd2hjtpE Tower of Horrible Voices]] [[hottip:*:let's play tower of heaven more like hell shut up horrible voice unfunny gimmick worst everything]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmSY3u9CUM You will not make it through this video]] [[hottip:*:let's play zelda majora's mask oh my goodness what is that voice you are scaring the children]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWFko8g3Ggw A Deeper Connection With Newgrounds]]. Simply put: [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming the Carousel pitch]] from Series/MadMen [[XMeetsY plus]] [[spoiler:Meet 'n Fuck Kingdom]].
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFbVKL-Meo0&feature=g-u-u Adults React To PewDiePie]]''is truly a wonder to behold, with Retsupurae fans, and even slowbeef and Diabetus themselves using the "scare cam" concept to insult LetsPlay/PewDiePie over several of his videos. Some of the funnier reactions to PDP's videos include:
** A woman pouring an entire bottle of pills into her hand.
** Slowbeef's first scene.
-->'''slowbeef:''' *Sighs* Ya know, maybe I'm making too much of this, maybe it's not so bad. [[TemptingFate I'm sure it's got its own appeal, and there's probably nothing really that terrible in these videos]], I mean, ya know-\\
'''[=PewDiePie=]:''' (In the video slowbeef is watching) [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Oh, he's raping her!]]\\
'''slowbeef:''' [[FlatWhat I'm sorry, what was that?]]
** A man [[DrivenToSuicide loading an assault rifle]] [[BlackComedy and]] [[AteHisGun putting it into his mouth]].
** A man ''smoking a bong onscreen''.
** Diabetus's four appearances reading off a number of [=PewDiePie=]'s more disturbing titles, culminating in [[AltText a caption that reads]] "'''[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer FUCKING SERIOUSLY, ACTUAL VIDEO TITLES. ACTUAL VIDEO TITLES. HOW DOES HE LIVE WITH HIMSELF?!?!]]'''"
** A man ''vomiting'' in disgust.
** A man simply repeating "30 000 likes. ''30 000 likes''." in sheer disbelief.
** A man declaring "[[DespairEventHorizon There is no God]]," and slashing his wrists.
** A man making a phone call, reporting [=PewDiePie=] as a crime against humanity.
** The numerous ScrewThisImOuttaHere reactions.
** Slowbeef declaring that this [[TemptingFate can't get any worse]], then we see a giant purple head from VideoGame/AoOni with PDP's mouth imposed on it...
-->'''slowbeef:''' I give up. There is no bottom as to how bad this gets.\\
'''Purple Head:''' IT'S RAPING TIME.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Okay, there is ''that''.
** Due to PDP's overzealous fans flagging the video and limiting it to accounts 18 or older, slowbeef released a "Rated E for Everyone" version that censored the pill bottle, the bong, the machine gun, the drinking, and the wrist-slashing. However, all of PDP's footage was intact, every curse word and instance of the word "rape" still remained. Showing just how broken YouTube's system really is.
*** The censorship in said video includes [[{{Bowdlerise}} replacing]] the bottle of pills with Tic-Tacs, the Jack Daniels with Coke Zero, and the weapons with a picture of Bill Gates. Also, a scene was added that wasn't in the original video.
** In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TSMKMg8bas&feature=g-u-u Retsutalk]] about the video, Diabetus sums up LetsPlay/PewDiePie's style thusly,
--> "I have no content, AndIMustScream."
** Slowbeef [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R7FOMGbbiI intentionally]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3MSDy6msyY imitating]] [=PewDiePie's=] video style, poking fun at how he makes his videos in general while faking enthusiasm and plastering the videos with millions of annotations poking fun at the the overadvertising of it all.
--> ''[slowbeef takes drink from mug]''\\
'''Annotation''': What is that, buttermilk? YOU FAT SHIT!\\
'''Second Annotation pointing to the first''': [[http://atheistsagainstrp.tumblr.com/ Bodysh aming!]]\\
'''Third Annotation''': Social Justice Warrior MUCH??!? LOL!\\
'''Fourth Annotation''': What are you, an MRA idito from Reddit?\\
'''Annotation beneath the scare cam''': Talk about this video in the My Little Pony forums.\\
'''Annotation in top right corner''': Please subscribe, I am desperate!\\
'''Annotation that completely covers Slowbeef's reaction window''': ProtonJon!
*** At the very beginning of the Happy Wheels video, slowbeef laughing at the dog food advertisement that he intentionally left in the recording.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHnqdFio8RA Don't Watch This]]'' Slowbeef forces ChipCheezum to watch a ''hentai readalong'' (censored, mind you) as revenge for making Slowbeef watch the garbage life video. Chip's utter disbelief over it is astounding!
-->'''Chip:''' It has 12,000 views and ''one dislike!''\\
'''Slowbeef:''' (Laughing) Chip's the one.
** ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NawJbj3BVOo Wait for it... (Don't Watch This Edition)]]'', a continuation where Slowbeef reads a post related to the reader's critique on a sex toy. Things get really, really uncomfortable, really fast.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEwRY22XPiE Let's... I Can't Even Pretend To Guess.]]''
-->''[Various clips of penguins set through a WMM filter and set to the reprise of Jimmy T's song from WarioWare Smooth Moves; several seconds of stunned silence.]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' All right, ''[[FlatWhat what]]''.\\
'''Diabetus:''' Are, uh, we in a club?\\
'''Slowbeef:''' I, uh... This is a Let's Play, right?\\
''[Text reading "[=LordPenguin777=] Presents:" appears.]''\\
'''Diabetus:''' Oh, I get it. Wait, no I don't.\\
...\\
'''slowbeef:''' ...that was like HunterSThompson playing video games.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzDFCOjr734 Metroid Machina Makes Me Maddingly Miserable]]'':
-->'''slowbeef:''' Oh man, she [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "aquaired"]] the grapple!\\
'''Diabetus:''' My aqua-aired...\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think Grapple Aqua-aired is like a drink... it's like a juice.
** Their reaction to the intro:
-->'''Diabetus:''' Oh my god, the soundtrack's dying.\\
'''slowbeef:''' Yeah, this is really painful to listen to.\\
'''Diabetus:''' DRRRRRRRR DRRRRRRR\\
'''slowbeef:''' The Metroid theme, as done by nails on chalkboard.
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W3QIua3BHA Mortal Konversation]][[hottip:*:formerly Press F D F HP: Perform Animationality]]'': their riff on WesternAnimation/MortalKombatTheJourneyBegins in all its poorly-animated glory.
** In particular, Part 3 ending a few seconds after a horribly animated, ''freakish'' close up on Sonya Blade's screaming face caused a good few chuckles, as well as certain [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcm-MDLUb_Y mash ups.]]
-->'''Diabetus:''' Good place to stop.
** Johnny Cage's inexplicable backwalking animation during the Tarkatan mook fight sequence in part 3 and 4, which slowbeef interprets as moongrappling. It has inspired [[http://youtu.be/XF5AfFK8HGg this video]], which is visible in the favorite's list on the RP Youtube account.
* ''[[http://blip.tv/therparchive/retsupurae-the-most-shameful-thing-in-the-world-6286564 The Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]'' Don't watch if you like [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Haruhi.]] You won't after this video.
-->''"[[TemptingFate With the amount of dignity lost, I don't see how this could possibly get any..]]"'' ''[RecordNeedleScratch]'' ''"[[DancingTheme ...worse]][[SuzumiyaHaruhi ?]]"''
** ''[[http://www.viddler.com/v/713f71f3 The Even More Most Shameful Thing In The World:]]''
-->''"Is this what anime did to America? Is this revenge on us for dropping the bombs?"''
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm2rhVIZkxI OH HELL YES I AM DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS]]: In which the duo comment over someone playing a face-maker game... While playing ''{{Music/Disturbed}}'' music, of all things. The kicker is when they pretend to be OccidentalOtaku who think this is awesome.
-->'''Diabetus:''' ''FULL-DEATH-METAL ALCHEMIST'', BRO!
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv1FLeM8NTY Praying Dumbass]]''
-->'''slowbeef:''' "I saw this thing in my house! What the hell is this? I got no idea! Other things I don't know: Google.com, what the hell is that? Wikipedia, what the hell is that? Asking a friend, I have no idea how to do that! The only thing I can do is film stuff and use Vimeo.com as my only avenue of knowledge! What the hell was that-" It's a praying mantis you fucking idiot.
** Following this is the "Sandwich" Video.
-->'''slowbeef:''' Hey guys I wanted to share with this video by Jacob. I hope the title doesn't give it away because there is a lot to it.\\
''[plays video of a sandwich and milk being consumed in 10 seconds]''\\
'''slowbeef:''' [[SarcasmMode STUNNING! "Sandwich" By Jacob, It's Great.]] You wanna know what's great is that it actually took longer to make the sandwich than the video. And you wanna know what else is great? [[ToiletHumor In a few hours, they'll be the same thing!]]
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRFWYpuQHt8 Sword of Vermillion]]'':
-->'''Diabetus:''' So earlier you said that this game was the Genesis' answer to ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZelda''. I say that this video is the human answer to the Genesis.\\
'''slowbeef:''' I think this video is why Sega stopped making consoles.\\
...\\
'''Diabetus:''' Imagine being the cameraman for this. How would you feel?\\
'''slowbeef:''' BoundAndGagged?
** Slowbeef's reactions to the video, which start out confused and become increasingly horrified.
--> '''slowbeef:''' Oh god... ''what is this?'' Oh, this is shameful. This is so- '''Oh good god'''.
** The spin-off Webcam Ward covered a similar video with [[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/goldenaxe.php Golden Axe]].
* ''[[http://www.viddler.com/explore/retsu/videos/108/ Ultimate Challenge]]'': What might be THE defining moment in the history of combining a LP and a package of pizza rolls.
-->'''Proteus:''' He has - He has bigger tits than my girl...
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWfRzwM6Gws Velos]]'', an unedited video from a visibly overweight InternetToughGuy in response to the RP team riffing on one of his friend's videos:
-->'''Velos:''' ''[completely unemotionally]'' If [Cloud8745] ever met you in real life, he'd kick your ass. And if I met you in real life, I'd fucking kill you right now. 'Cause you will go down in hell. I'll haunt you. Yeah. I'll kill you.
* Whenever Diabetus turns away from the mic and starts shouting, a la Shmorky.
[[/folder]]
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